Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)

Subject: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Peter T.
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 11:07 AM

Continuing the discontinuities of time and space.
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: GUEST,cookie without a cookie
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 11:10 AM

continuum in a vacuum?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: gnu
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 11:21 AM

Maybe it could be a tag team match. MickMc vs SpAmergin. Who's going to ref ? Four men, a tank of Turkey Turd Beer and only one washroom. How's that for disaster, Sins ?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 11:23 AM

Good idea Guest. This place is a mess. When Roger is finished with the bedpan detail have him vacuum the place and mop up the Turkey Turds...or is it vacuum the Turkey turds and mop up the place?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 11:45 AM

Did somebody call? Look at the state of this place! No wonder we have to keep moving to a new Tavern!
I don't have all day to do this , you know, I've got old jokes to take out for an airing and I've got to keep the NYCFTTS running for 'Spaw (CEO & principal shareholder).
Grumble grumble, mutter mutter.
I think I'll suck it all into a tanker and send it to Patrish for her garden.
Should improve the rhubarb no end.(Chorus from the usual suspects:"I prefer custard on mine")
RtS (Roger the shitshifter)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: mousethief
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 11:53 AM

Spaw! Come quick! Come quick! The earthquake cracked open the giant tank of Turkey Turd! The whole basement is awash in cheap beer!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: MMario
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 11:59 AM

Got a tanker of Thai Coffee and 10 cases of frozen beef stew here! Where ya want it? Need a signature tho' - says on the paperwork to see...uhmmm....

I *think* it says Fezziwig. Or possibly Fozziewig...

can you read that? ya shure?

Wizziewigg!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: mousethief
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 12:19 PM

SUUUUUUUUSAAAAAAAAAAAAN! Your stew's here!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Caitrin
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 12:28 PM

Hey, 'Spaw, is the NYCFTTS looking for summer workers?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 12:31 PM

Fozziewig???

I used to work in his old rubber chicken factory!!

;-)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 01:20 PM

Caitrin, NO ONE can be that desparate for a job......well except for Skiff.......................

Okay gnu........We do this "Mudcat Style" and take it to the Jello Pit!!! We fill it with lime jello.....this time we make it with Turkey Turd.......Say Caitrin, could you take care of that??.........Then we dawn our thongs and go at each other with rubber tiples!!!........Anything goes at that point including flatulence!!!!..........Cleigh O'Possum will ref the match. I'll see you back here when the jello solidifies!

Spaw

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Micca
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 01:21 PM

" There was Spaw, upside down
pushing turkey turds on the floor
stew,stew, the truck men cried
as they came knocking on the door,
Dont let them in ,its all fouled up
somebody shouted , "Sword for hire"
and we all got very politely pissed
while the stew warmed on the fire
"

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: MMario
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 01:29 PM

My friends and I at the MudCat Tavern,
Havin' us a jello fight
When all at once a guest came in
and started flingin' shite
What's up cried we, have ya had a bad day?
Did your g-string break or what?
g-string be damned, the guest he cried,
Bert's credit card's run out!

(to chorus)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: gnu
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 02:13 PM

Flatulence !! That's fightin dirty !! When I said you could make up the rules and I'd break em, I never dreamed you'd stoop that low. I may as well get the yard out now. Anyone got a clothespin for my nose ?... so I can get the yard down, not for Spaw's flatulence. He's the winner by default. I'm not THAT stupid.

Besides, I don't think anyone is ready for me in a thong. A thingthong, maybe, but not a thong.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Peter T.
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 02:14 PM

I hate to think what "dawn our thongs" means.

yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 02:14 PM

To those who doubted my sanity and/or sobriety, the following is a synopsis of the "Hephaestus Plague". Highly recommend it to all.

PAGE-THE HEPHAESTUS PLAGUE- - This 191 page hard cover is a First Edition that was written by Thomas Page and published by Putnam in 1973. "I consider myself a relatively seasoned veteran of horror in its various literary and cinematic forms-but THE HEPHAESTUS PLAGUE made my skin crawl and pulses race as never before. To add that it is as well written as it is plotted seems de trop, but it's that rare science-fiction work that fascinates the intelligence while enthralling the imagination. it deals with flesh-and-blood creatures-even as you and I-and therein lies the delicious terror." -JUDITH CRIST When an earthquake rips open a quiet Georgia peach farm, thousands of heavy black beetles slowly emerge onto the surface of the earth, terrifying the local inhabitants with their ability to emit an intense flame. The experts are called in, but they remain baffled and helpless as the fire beetles, hitchhiking in tobacco and peach trucks, begin to sweep northward, leaving behind scorched fields and charred buildings. Only James Lang Parmiter, professor of entomology at a small Southern college, realizes that these are not beetles at all, but a form of life never before seen. Working day after day in almost total solitude and silence, this brilliant, strange man, described by a colleague as a "sinister Gandhi," discovers that these creatures were alive at the time of the dinosaur and are much older, more enduring, more intelligent than any other living creature and, thus, far more difficult to wipe out. Parmiter, reluctant to destroy the creatures, finds himself identifying with them; they have buried themselves deep within the earth even as he has sealed himself off in his lab. Desiring more and more to communicate with them, Parmiter arrives at a chilling decision: He will not only study the insects, but will breed them. Even as the East Coast reels in terror from the growing onslaughts of these creatures, Parmiter is overjoyed to learn that his Hephaestus parmitera have finally adjusted to the earth's surface and the females of the species have become pregnant.

Now who is going to be the first to express support and buy me a drink - NOT the swill sloshing around in the basement...THE BASEMENT!!! Caitrin. Forget the Jello Pit. Just mix a drum or two of lime jello with the beer in the basement. Then instead of pumping the beer out, we can shovel out the jello. too bad. It would have made for an interesting shanty sing while we manned the pumps. "Heave Away" could take on a whole new meaning.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Kim C
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 02:22 PM

Kin I jes get a lil whiskey please?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 02:27 PM

come back here on the 28th folks... i'll be buying all night!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Hollowfox
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 02:29 PM

You're on, Kim. I happen to have a bottle of Sheep Dip whiskey, and it's not half bad.*

*(This is an actual brand of a real whiskey, and while it's not the finest in the world, it's not half bad.)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 02:31 PM

Ya... not half bad for cleaning paint brushes!

LOL!!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: gnu
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 02:36 PM

Clinton... welcome back. What's the scoop on the 28th ? House warming ?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: MMario
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 02:37 PM

so what's up the 28th, Clinton?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 02:38 PM

LOL PT............uh, yeah..........Well, would the moonshot that comes with wearing a thong count as a "dawn"???.............Geeziz, I really am a stupid shit at times.............So I wil now "don" my thong..........Hey, somebody get that guy Don over here to help me with this damn thing...er,uh....thong.................Okay gnu, I rell ya' what.........We'll forget the whole thing, but what are we gonna' do with that 100 gallons of lime/Turkey Turd Jello???..........Maybe we could serve it up to the Trivial Pursuit players and the rest of them...................Yeah, that might do it.................Gnu, you know anyplace we can get a quantity break on Cool Whip?

Spaw

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: gnu
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 02:42 PM

No sweat, Spaw. Oversize containers, six to a box, with a big sale sign over em would go like hot cakes at the Price Club. Hell, if they can sell memberships at $35 a pop, they can sell anything.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Kim C
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 02:43 PM

Hollowfox, c'mon over here with that Sheep Dip. I think we're going to need it if Spaw is walking around in a thong.........

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 02:56 PM

Actually, he appears to be hobbling rather than walking. So if I have this right, we are going to cover "Spaw in a Thong" with Cool Whip and set him up at a "SALE" table in the Price Club featuring Green Turkey Turd Jell-O Six Packs. Now when the sale is over, whose job is it to lick him clean? Roger is all tied up with vacuum hoses and bedpans. Maybe we can send him to that barbershop in Florida - a nice contrast to David in a loin cloth.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: gnu
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 03:00 PM

I said I could lick my weight in wildcats, but that's NOT what I meant.

BTW, stale rolls and TTB is the afternoon snack to tide us all over until sup's. What's on the menu for Happy Hour tonight ?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 03:18 PM

Cool Whip al a Spaw

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: gnu
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 03:23 PM

Watch out for the furballs.... go ahead, I dare ya.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 03:26 PM

Mmario, I didn't know the Tavern was in Ithaca! You aren't HERE yet! Don't leave the Thai coffee THERE-- now get over here! (Leave them the stew, poor darlings...)

Nyuk nyuk nyuk-- we at the Gathering may, if we wish, be where YOU all are (at the Tavern) tomorrow night, but I don't think you can at the Gathering with US! This here is a one-way continuum, not a c.o.n.t.i.n.u.u.m.m.u.u.n.i.t.n.o.c!

Oh I know Amos could manage it, and I expect to hear an Indian tomorrow night, but.... *G*G*G* Y'all will never find us!

~S~

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: gnu
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 03:30 PM

Well, since there's nothing wetter here than TTB, I'm heading out to get some Moosehead Green Lager. Can I pick anything up for anyone else ? Call me on the cell if you want anything.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: MMario
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 03:42 PM

If they take the left turn at Albequeque they might find us!

I really wish she had told me about the coffee *before* I pumped it into the jello pit!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Amergin
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 03:45 PM

Uh where did Mick run off too? he sighs with immense relief....

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 03:50 PM

Hey Spaw, is that just a thong at thigh height?

I have large amounts of fig rolls (sorry, fig newtons) here if anyone wants to partake, except for Spaw, although farting in a thong does make a sound like an oboe...... so I'm told....

Bring on the Sheep Dip!! - that used to be my tipple until I discovered Four Bells.... LTS

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 04:12 PM

Big Mick is missing. Jen Ellen and PeterT are still under the table cloth sitting in about three inches of Moose Turd. Kendall ran off with the Trivial Pursuit Game. Caitrin is in the basement trying to de-gel the flood. gnu is off for some Moosehead lager. I think he's stopping by the pet shop for some hairball medication - must be something he ate. Matt left. He preferred the Rites of Spring to spring cleaning. Bert must have passed out in the corner - not a word since his line of credit dried up. Alison is gone too. HMMMM Wonder what she and the Captain are up to? He's meaner than 'Gin but can't run as fast. He'd better be careful. Kim came in sloshed. She's asleep on the bar or the bartender...not sure which. Oh well. Guess I'll go back to work. Spaw if you rub a little of that Cool Whip down into your thong, it should lubricate it enough to slip off easily. If not. don't let any of this crew near you with a pair of scissors or a Swiss Army Knife. Unless of course you want to join Matt back at the Rites of Spring thread. They can use another eunuch over there. See you later.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: gnu
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 04:24 PM

Got me Moose, bye. And everyone's gone or passed out. HA !!! Now's me chance.

Now listen you people, better take this down. I'm the Bodhran player, and I'm back in town...

What ? Just beating my drum. Didn't figure anyone would mind... what sign, where ? Oh. OK. I'll put it away.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 04:29 PM

Spaw enters, nicely attired in baggyass shorts and a worn out T-shirt and completely trashed boat shoes, carrying a thong.....

Ahhhhhh........Geeziz, am I glad to get that thing off!!! I should have brought my own instead of using one of the ones hanging there. This thing has THE SMALLEST codpocket in the world.....Damn thing like to castrated me........What's it's say inside here.....huh.........PROPERTY OF BIG MICK.......................no wonder the thing was so tight...........................Hey Sins, how about a TTB while we wait for gnu to return with the Moosehead?..........no?...................Well, how about a couple hands of rummy?.........................

Spaw

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: gnu
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 04:39 PM

If I can't play my Hran, perhaps I could treat you to a song I learnt up Kent County from an old lad ? So what ? They're all passed out and Spaw and Sins are playing cards. Really ? OK then....

I said a Hangman slack that roooooope. I said hangman, hangman, hangman, hangman. Hangman, slack that rope.

Cause there ain't gonna be no hangin today, I said hangman slack that AAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: JenEllen
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 07:23 PM

Sorry, Sins. 3d is less than a-muse-ing right at the moment. I'll be under the table. You just kick some tail at Trivial Pursuit for me, deal?

"pssst, sins!" came a small voice from under the table "The capital of Burundi is Bujumbura..."

~JE~ (who nevah doubted yoah sanity foah a moment, dahlin)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 07:53 PM

Need you a Sugar Dog and all I got to give today is a Vinegar Bitch.

~VB~

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: alison
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 09:42 PM

OK I won't be here to celebrate so I'll say it early.....

Happy birthday Clinton for the 28th

big hugs

alison

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Matt_R
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 10:48 PM

Hey, I didn't leave! I'm just getting my portfolio ready for submission. On Wednesday at 6pm I learn the the fate of my academic future.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 04:50 AM

As I type, the college groundsmen have parked a trailer full of steaming.....outside my office window to lay on the ground churned up by recent building now being reinstated as lawn... does this stuff follow me everywhere, MudcatTavern, NYCFTTS,en route to work, now here? Was I a nightsoil man in an earlier incarnation? Or is this retribution for my terrible singing and horrible jokes?
Answers on a blank cheque please....made payable to the skiffler retirement fund...
RtS

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 07:15 AM

Maybe they are just trying to light a fire under you.

~S~

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 08:19 AM

Looks like it's time to re-open THE SWAMP SONG clinic once again!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 08:30 AM

Aha! Was it the night they tore the , er, outhouse, down? If so, beware any remianing methane when you fire 'er up!
RtS (not a coprophile, honest, though my friends say I'm full of **it!)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Caitrin
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 10:26 AM

Caitrin drags herself up from the basement. "Oy Jesus...I've never seen so much green goo in my whole life. Yeesh. You wouldn't believe how much Gojo it takes to get green jello out of cheap carpet!" She slumps down into a chair at one of the lovely tavern tables. "Water!" she calls to the bartender. "'Spaw, is this typical NYCFTTS work?"

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: GUEST, WYS
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 10:27 AM

No... she said witha slightly coprophagic grin...

Keep thinking.... something most genteel Mudcat homes have... in plenitude.

~S~

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 10:29 AM

Just watch out, Cait. They roped me into cleaning bedpans the the Geriatric wing!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 11:19 AM

Thanks alison!

;-)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: mousethief
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 11:33 AM

coprophagic grin

You're eating copper again, Susan? Don't tell me you're rubbing homeopathic remedies on your wrists, too? You're supposed to INGEST the homeopathics and WEAR the copper.

Some people just don't understand Alternative Medicine at all.

:-)

Alex

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Caitrin
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 12:06 PM

They'd never dream of putting me in the geriatric wing, Matt...*grins* I'd cause too many heart attacks.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Matt_R
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 12:31 PM

Well, if you want to put it that way, I'm sure you could!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Kim C
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 01:08 PM

(waking up) Man, I had the weirdest dream! Something about Spaw and a thong and Cool Whip... what? It wasn't a dream?

Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore...

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 02:45 PM

Spaw, was there any of that cool whip left.... I think I've had an accident with a bra strap.....

And what do I have to take off/put on to get a drink round here? Here I am, the only sober one in a house full of drunken bodies, stood here like a pork pie at a barmitzvah, listening to all the farting and belching and other intestinal noises, and me not a drop to whet me whistle with....

LTS

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: mousethief
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 02:52 PM

Sounds like a personal problem, Liz. :-)

Let me buy you a what's next.

Alex

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: gnu
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 02:53 PM

I'm not drunk. Just looks that way. Who threw that ashtray anyway ? That hurt. I promise, no more Hran or singing.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: gnu
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 02:55 PM

Alex, it was you who didn't like my singing !! Still cranky from the farting dogs thread, eh ?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: mousethief
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 03:03 PM

Your singing was fine. Your farts, however, smell like dead gnu.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: gnu
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 03:11 PM

That was Spaw. How come I keep getting blamed for stuff I didn't do ? It's gnus. Catch 40, eh ?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 03:22 PM

Gentlemen! And I use the term loosely! Get the lady a drink! I'll have an Irish Coffee with Jamesons. Come here Spaw. You can be the topping. gnu - one more bam on the bohdran (or is it bodhran or bodrhan????) and we donate it to the Neil Young Center as a bedpan.

Let's raise our glasses to Joe Offer and his bride-to-be Christina. Wonder if she knows how many Clones come with the the package????? Gives a whole new meaning to the pitter-patter of little feet.

Speaking of which - mousethief? oh mousie????

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Amergin
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 03:23 PM

Uh, there are ladies present?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: mousethief
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 03:32 PM

Uh, yes, Miss Sins?

That was Spaw.

It's gnus to me.

Alex

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: gnu
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 03:41 PM

Sins... just got a Remo synthetic last week for huntin and fishin trips. I was told they could take a licken and still keep kicken. Perhaps that could be the ultimate test. Don't know if Remo would advertise this particular attribite, but their supposed to "stand up" to anything. As long as Spaw doesn't "use" it.... it's made of plastic & fibreglass, so it might melt if exposed to HIGHLY noxious gases.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 04:04 PM

aMERGIN - I AM GOING TO TELL aLLISON WHAT YOU SAID. aND THEN, i AM GOING TO TELL bIG mICK. THEN i AM GOING TO SIT IN THE CORNER AND CRY IN MY BEER OR iRISH cOFFEE OR WHATEVER. dAMN cAPSLOCK!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: gnu
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 04:53 PM

How namy heva you hadd ?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 04:55 PM

None! They're all running after Alison!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: gnu
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 04:58 PM

I meant ashtrays... er, drinks.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Micca
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 06:12 PM

I am here, Sins baby, wanna come and play not-so-Trivial pursuit??I have some stuff in my hip-flask you might like to try!!!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Apr 01 - 11:13 PM

Oh Micca! Is that a hip flask you're carrying or are you just glad to see me?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Amergin
Date: 28 Apr 01 - 12:39 AM

How come you folks are always trying to get me in trouble?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: kendall
Date: 28 Apr 01 - 08:14 AM

Life is trouble. Only death is not. A man should undo his belt and look for trouble. (Zorba the Greek)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Micca
Date: 28 Apr 01 - 08:19 AM

Sins, Both!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Peter T.
Date: 28 Apr 01 - 12:57 PM

After a few moments under the tablecloth, it occurred to him that remaining as rigid as a Cigar Store Indian laid him open in a variety of ways in a manner of speaking. Not only did he lack dexterity, but he didn't have the manual. He decided to fish around for (a) his precious blueprints; (b) his contact lenses, which had popped out of his eyes and gone to make spectacles of themselves elsewhere; (c) the remains of his raincoat; (d) his key chain; and (e) an exit. In doing so, he came upon (f). (f) had certainly not been on his list when he woke up that morning, though it was naturally enough on the BIG LIST, like bringing about world peace; and was not quite disconcerting, but it wasn't altogether concerting either. Flipping a mental coin, which inexplicably seemed to land, spin, and fall down into a subconscious grate, he nevertheless decided to turn on the little flashlight that dangled from his key chain (d). The moment he did, the whole space was illuminated by a childhood memory he had of making shadow puppets under the bedclothes with his cousin Ruthie back when the families used to come together at the cottage in July, and somewhere along the line he and Ruthie had made something of a ritual of smuggling into each other's beds, which, given their relative innocence, usually involved some tentative exploring around, but mostly featured flashlit shadow puppets on the tented sheets. Ruth was particularly good at panthers; while he specialised in birds on the wing. It occurred to him in that moment, not for the first time, that one of his big recurring problems was that, unlike the finally freed figures from Plato's cave, he had spent much of the rest of his life in the blazing sunshine, and all the time he had really been looking in vain for panthers sliding sinuously across the flashlit folds of a long lost jungle of sheets.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Peter T.
Date: 29 Apr 01 - 12:07 PM

He looked out from under his sheet,the bar had gone quiet, it was daylight, and everyone had disappeared, which was more or less why he spent Saturday nights alone a lot. Oh, well. He got up and went over to the bar, but no one was in sight -- losing the bartender was certainly a new low in achievement -- so to celebrate he reached over and poured himself a small single malt whiskey. He sat down, and began doodling new notions on a cocktail napkin, which had the Mudcat logo on it, and the phrase "Quid datur a divis felici optatius hora?" drawn from Catullus, which was translated on the back as "What can the gods give us that is sweeter than the happy hour?"

A few moments later, the ginger cat leapt up on the bar, he poured a little whiskey into a bowl, and the two of them lapped the last lap together as the silence deepened.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Micca
Date: 29 Apr 01 - 12:55 PM

The peaceful silence is shattered by the re-entry of the Conga, led by Spaw, blowing on Cleigh O'Possum and followed by all the previus occupants of the bar with the Bartender at the end of the line..

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: SINSULL
Date: 29 Apr 01 - 07:19 PM

Catullus? Poor poor Peter..."lingua sed torpet,tenuis sub artus flamma demanat, sonitu suopte tintinant aures, gemina teguntur lumina nocte...OTIUM, PETER, TIBI MOLESTUM EST! Say something Peter. bEFORE sPAW DANCES jENeLLEN OUT THE BACK DOOR AGAIN. Damn Capslock!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Matt_R
Date: 29 Apr 01 - 10:13 PM

Dentes fredentes video!!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: JenEllen
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 04:56 PM

CONGA?? Oh, my fave!!
**dancing back through the door in front of 'Spaw...(ya didn't think I get BEHIND him didja???)**

She hands the figure at the bar one tiny scribbled paper napkin with some of her final details for the PatterScanner...some of which included the variations for:
the ShoopShoop Flux Capacitor (is it REALLY in their kiss?)
the versatile RickyNelson N-P-N Transistor (for the traveling man/woman)
and the DifferentDrum Pass Resistor (I ain't sayin you ain't pretty...)
She then slips behind the bar and out of serious girl mode (aoooooogah to you too Matt..) to fire up the blender for margaritas.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 05:12 PM

Carpe diem! Peter. Tempus fugit! Speak up man!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: gnu
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 05:21 PM

Tempus fugit ? Forgive the uneducated and explain to me, please & thanks.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Peter T.
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 05:22 PM

He opens up the napkin, and under the Mudcat logo he reads "otio exsultas nimiumque gestis", which loosely translated means, "If you have to choose between wasting your time sitting around and conga lines, what does it matter?". He sits drinking his scotch and watches the line snaking around, and decides to add yet one more feature to his PatterScanner, the Kaa/Rikki-Tikki-Tavi hypnotic gazifier for the gazer or the gazee, or even the gazeuse.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 05:27 PM

Peter - Where did you learn Latin? Not from the Jesuits or the Josephites!
Snap out of it Peter. We finally got matt in sync with reality and now you're slipping away. Spaw! Get over here and do your magic!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: JenEllen
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 06:24 PM

The woman puts the frozen pitcher on the bar. She then makes her way to the front table while cradling a bottle of Cerro del Masso in the crook of her arm. Time is fleeting, all right, more so now than ever. The festivities go on, as always, but she can't ever recall feeling quite as tired as she does today.
"Chalk one up for the windmills." she mutters as she slides into a chair. The table and chairs are bathed in light, and as she sits, the image of a lizard sunning itself on a rock passes through her mind and she smiles. Being baked is a good feeling for today, and with that thought, she pours herself a glass of wine and begins thumbing through the Vasari book that Bonnie's sister left on the table.
The sun and wine remind her of the summer she spent in Tuscany learning how to make the perfect sauce. Completely frivolous, but if you need to know how to make the perfect sauce, you NEED to know. That summer she also learned that there are precious few feelings in this life better than the sun warming you from the outside in and the wine warming you from the inside out. She should have been startled when the gingercat jumped onto the table in front of her, but she wasn't. Who better to know the effects of a sunny spot on the table than a cat? He sniffs at the wine bottle and nudges it with his head.
"Micio mio," purrs the woman "Gradisci un chianti?" She gets a whiff of the cat and figures that wine is the last thing he needs, but who is she to argue? "Sono il tuo schiavo" she tells him, and pours him a saucer of ruby delight.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: mousethief
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 06:31 PM

"Tempis fugit" = "time flies"

Alex

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Micca
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 06:38 PM

" Its astounding,Time is fleeting
Madness takes its toll
Listen closely, not for very much longer
I've got to keep control......
Do you remember......."

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: mousethief
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 06:53 PM

Alas, I remember too well. Never got dressed up, but DID go up and do the "Time Warp" when they re-played that reel after the movie was over.

It's just a jump to the left.....

Alex

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: JenEllen
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 07:28 PM

The shadow of the gingercat's whiskers on the table paired with the Latin Explosion in the tavern gave her the idea, in one vine-ripened flush that nearly sent the wine out her nose. Pairing the RickyNelson N-P-N with a MiserCattule P-N-P. (Got a pretty senorita waiting for me down in ol'Mexico, but I'll be damned if I'll kiss that tramp again, I am SO over her..) Ah, warm is good.

~N.c.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: gnu
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 08:13 PM

Alex.... thanks for "Tempis fugit" = "time flies". Da girls I goes wit says, "Dere's not much time left, me love." Same s***, different crowd.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 08:43 PM

Alex "Tempis fugit"? Your Latin grammar is as bad as your English. Tempus, temporis, neuter noun. Ain't no tempis. Don't make me get Sister Paula in here with her ruler.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Noreen
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 10:10 PM

Time flies like an arrow
but
fruit flies like a banana...

Well, someone had to say it...

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Noreen
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 10:11 PM

And a frozen margarita for the lady that people are throwing things at, please......

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: JenEllen
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 10:33 PM

Aw, Noreen...that was baaaaad. The margaritas have certainly gone squishy by now, how's about some wine? Push that drunken pussycat off the chair and I'll teach you the Banana Sandwich (it's the sandwich with appeal) song...

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Amergin
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 10:48 PM

Funny, Alex...I think you would make a great Dr. Frankenfurter.....

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Noreen
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 10:49 PM

Oh yes please, JenEllen, sounds just what I need to broaden my repertoire...!

The poor pussycat didn't need pushing off, he fell (in a very relaxed fashion) and is now warming my toes and purring.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Amergin
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 10:55 PM

Uh, Noreen....that is me....not the cat....

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Noreen
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 11:01 PM

Ooops... sorry about stroking you with my toes... but you weren't objecting, Nathan...

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Amergin
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 11:04 PM

Oh no I wasn't...it felt rather good....

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Noreen
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 11:11 PM

But... it must have been the pussyc... or have you got a very rough tongue...??

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Amergin
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 11:17 PM

Well, my tongue has not been described as rough....but I have been known to use my teeth a little....very gently.....

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Noreen
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 11:28 PM

er..(clearing throat)... what, er ok, yes, JenEllen, I'll go and make the first round of banana butties... anyone got some cream and we can have banana daiquiris too... and then I'll tell you about how we came to make a Titanic daiquiri... :0)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Matt_R
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 11:30 PM

ARG!! Well I just finished putting together my submission portfolio for the CA Photography major. I submit tomorrow. I'll find out at 6pm on Wednesday if I am accepted or rejected. Wish me luck!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: mousethief
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 11:30 PM

Hmpf. My English grammar is just fine, thank you very much. I will admit that my Latin sux.

Alex

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: mousethief
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 11:32 PM

Matt, best of luck! I'm sure you'll come through with flying colors!

Alex

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Noreen
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 11:53 PM

An alcohol-free banana daiquiri coming up for the young gentleman with the portfolio under his arm... whoops... watch the sparkler doesn't singe your piccies, Matt!!!

Sorry! (Who left that cat there?!)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: JenEllen
Date: 01 May 01 - 12:07 AM

Okay, so what happened to my cat and WHAT was Nathan doing under my sunshiney table?? *bg*

Best of luck, Matt...like yer gunna need it!! HA!!

Titanic Daquiri??? Oh, DO tell!!!

Jen--adding a daquiri verse to the BananaSong in Noreen's honor...or lack of honor...NATHAN!!!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Amergin
Date: 01 May 01 - 12:17 AM

Best of luck to you, Matt! Though I am quite sure you do not need it!

Yes, Jen?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Matt_R
Date: 01 May 01 - 12:24 AM

Anyone want some Torpedo Oil?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Noreen
Date: 01 May 01 - 12:26 AM

OK then... the making of a Titanic Daiquiri

brother-in-law had offered to make us strawberry daiquiris in the summer...
put the strawberries, cream, rum and just a splash of fresh lime juice -with lots of ice cubes- into a large glass bowl, as the blender goblet had been broken....
inserted the blender...
which hit an iceberg...
which exploded...
taking with it the contents of the bowl, up the kitchen walls and over said b-in-l...
followed by a stunned silence...
We then beat a hasty retreat and let him clear it up, and laughed a lot, later over strawberry daiquiris!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Noreen
Date: 01 May 01 - 12:54 AM

I don't think I dare ask, Matt! (still blushing that it wasn't the pussycat...)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Amergin
Date: 01 May 01 - 01:03 AM

I thought you looked rather warm, Noreen....

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: JenEllen
Date: 01 May 01 - 03:47 AM

Fabulous Noreen!! Sounds like the time my lil'sis tried to make guacamole in the blender.
Rule#1...do not make guacamole in the blender.
Rule#2...if one finds it necessary to make guacamole in the blender, always be sure to pit the avacados first. Otherwise, the result is a golf-ball sized dent in your wall as well as an annoying green tint to everything in your kitchen.

What exactly IS torpedo oil...or do I not want to know??

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Noreen
Date: 01 May 01 - 06:04 AM

LOL JenEllen! Clearing that up might well put you off guacamole for life.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Peter T.
Date: 01 May 01 - 09:02 AM

The Mudcat Taverna springs an alcove!:
(scrawled on the walls in Chianti)

Al cor gentil ripara sempre Amore,
Come a la selva augello in la verdura:
Ne fe amore avanti gentil core
Ne gentil core avanti Amor, Natura;
Ch'adesso che fo il Sole
Si tosto lo splendore fo lucente,
Ne fo avanti il Sole.

And under it in subtitles:
Love shelters within the gentle heart,
As birds shelter within the heart of the forest:
Before the gentle heart there was no love,
No gentle heart before love,
Just like the sun and light, they were born together. (Guinizelli, 1275)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 01 May 01 - 10:40 AM

Well, I just dropped my portfolio off. Time will only tell now. As the Rutles would say "I'm living in hooo-o-o-o-ope".

LOL for my packaging project in CA class, we had to design a beverage, print and build the packaging, logos, labels, etc. Mine is "Torpedo Oil" a 99-proof American-brewed black beer. The blurb claims to be "only for REAL men". It's going to ROCK.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: JenEllen
Date: 01 May 01 - 02:43 PM

movin'right along HERE

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Bert
Date: 01 May 01 - 04:35 PM

So Matt, you'll need to water that Torpedo Oil down with a drop of D76 and see what develops. (You'll do fine with your portfolio, don't worry.)

When my card finally ran out, I had to resort to my piggy bank. Unfortunately it only contained two pounds, seven and fourpence. Which shows you how long it's been since I've been flush enough to add to it.

And who authorized that bloody carpet? Ain't sawdust bleedin' good enufforya?

Seein' as we're talking Latin now, I'll say it before Skiff does - "Amo, Amas, Amattress" Ta Da!!!!

Just leave that TTBeer out, the Biker crowd that gets in here on Wednesday nights won't know the difference. They'll sup the lot.

Bertie Boy.