BS: malapropisms

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: GUEST,Hille
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 07:06 PM

At a casual and relaxed (or so I hoped) lunch-party for one Ambassador and several Brit Embassy staff I announced to all that there was "Crapple Umble" for afters.

And recently trying to remember that local musician who plays with John Otway, the closest I could get was "Ayatolla the Stick Breaker"

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Genie
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 11:11 PM

Really funny, Robbyanne!

Lots of people talk about having their cats and dogs "spaded."   These may be the same folks who fix things with "duck tape."

A very common malapropism is to say that two things "don't jive with each other."  (It should be they "don't jibe.")

I had a nursing supervisor once who continually said he was "flustrated" about things but there were "litigating circumstances."

My mom knew a woman who, in her letters, would often complain about her "Arthur Ritus."

And, Bill D., you're right about the common "momento" malapropism.

Well, Ranger Steve, maybe "erotic driving" is against the "blue laws" of some states!

I never cease to be amazed at the lawyers, judges, and politicians who keep referring to the "statue of limitations" on certain crimes.

Then there's Marcia (sp?) Clark, of OJ trial fame, who serveral times accused either OJ or his attorneys of trying to "flaunt the law."

Fred M, along the lines of "tenants of the Constitution,"  I often hear folks who ought to know better refer to the "pundants" [instead of "pundits"] who spout their views on TV and radio.

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Genie
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 11:41 PM

We used to have a talk show host here in Portland, OR, named Sheila Hamilton.  I loved her show, partly because she came up almost daily with marvelous malapropisms and neologisms.
Once she said that giving one's spouse some freedom to spend time with friends of the opposite sex might  - "...raise the spectrum of suspicion... ."
In discussing the terrorist attacks on 9-11-01, she observed that the World Trade Center "is really the hubbub of world activity ... ."
In another discussion, she mentioned several kinds of interest groups and then distanced herself from each by saying such things as "...feminists, of which I'm not a group...,"  "...Libertarians, of which I'm not a group...," and a few other organizations  "...of which I'm not a group."

Then on 9/15/01, a commentator on CNN discussing World Trade Center disaster said that  "the tension down there in the street was palatable.

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: fenman
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 07:35 AM

malapropisms.......probably one of the most public by a bbc comentator at the royal tournament going extatic over "the wonderful musical ride by the royal arse whoretillery" probably only second to the slip by another bbc comentator at a Headingly??? test match....."...and the bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey"......Why do we always walk such waddle ????

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Mr Happy
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 09:11 AM

fen,

neither of your examples are malapropisms. the first's a spoonerism.

anyone know the term for the other one- 9(i don't think it's a mondegreen)

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Mr Happy
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 12:18 PM

i sometimes see the tv prog. 'countdown' on ch.4

i'm sure some of the contestants are asking carol for 'continents' & 'bowels'!

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: NH Dave
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 12:35 PM

Richard Lederer, the English Teacher/Author/Humorist, gets good mileage out of the recitation about Rindercella and the Pransome Hince, where Rindercella slops her dripper but all comes out well in the end.
Another Bluegrass acquaintance of mine sings "Crazy" with a childish lisp, so it comes out as "Cwasy".
Dave

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: GUEST,petr
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 08:39 PM

one of my customer runs a sub sandwich shop, mentioned how he needed to re model his cafe but it would take a long time to 'recuperate' his costs. I can relate to that.

one of my friends always referred to an 'optional illusion' (funny thing was I used that phrase and someone corrected me - saying you must mean optical. Ptr

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: GUEST,Fred Miller
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 08:45 PM

Genie I'd heard of the statue of limitations but thought it represented new immigration restrictions.

Same friend who says "tenants" writes "hardwear" as if he needed a suit of armor. You can buy Duck-tape, a brand of duct-tape, maybe have it at the hardwear store, fix your visor.

Then there was a woman who was considering a tubal litigation, but instead her husband got spaded. ouch.

I told my sister-in-law about a man I know who hates to go out, doesn't like to leave the house and she said he must be homophobic.

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Genie
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 09:35 PM

LOL, Fred!

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 06:09 PM

ohh..one of my ...ummm...'favorites', which I heard again recently on the local Public Radio station, involves people going about wrecking havoc.

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Genie
Date: 25 Aug 02 - 12:30 AM

My neighbor this evening told me that she finds lots of stuff against my back fence (mostly blown there by the wind), including "condominiums." A few minutes later she said, "Oh, wait. I meant to say 'condoms'."

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Genie
Date: 25 Aug 02 - 08:49 PM

A fellow this afternoon uttered one of my favorites, which I had forgotten about: he said something about not being sure he could "pass mustard." (And we all know how painful THAT can be!)

Genie

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Bill D
Date: 25 Aug 02 - 08:56 PM

yup! especially the spicy kind!(umm...perhaps it needs to be on a hot dog first?)......never mind

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Genie
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 03:27 AM

I don't know if this counts as a malapropism or just a mispronunciation, and it concerns a non-English phrase. But I hear it quite frequently (apparently from people with just enough knowledge of French pronunciation to end up with some funny mispronunciations. The phrase is "coup de grace," which should be pronounced "coo de grahss"-- meaning, of course, "blow of grace." The common mispronunciation is "coo de grah," -- which is the way a Frenchman would pronounce "coup de gras" (meaning a "blow of fat").

Genie

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: GUEST,KingBrilliant
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 06:39 AM

Did I mention that, being an independent sort, my mum claims she prefers to "cuddle my own poo" (paddle my own canoe).

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 01:21 PM

My mother in law said recently that she thought most of the pills doctors prescribe were only 'gazebos'!

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: C-flat
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 01:29 PM

"It's a vicious circus" was one I heard recently.

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Bentley
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 01:46 PM

Took a young lady (aged about 6) to the local hospital.Mum was with her of course.She said she was going to have her sisters removed.She meant cysts.

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 02:05 PM

When we were kids, my sister and I used to have fun mixing words and syllables from roadside signs and billboards. In my hometown, there was a small doughnut chain (now defunct) called "Freddie's Doughnuts." Their sign was my all-time favorite mixer-upper. We'd mix up the words, get to giggling and couldn't stop. "Deddie's Froughnuts", "Froughnies Deddnuts", and "Doughnies Freddnuts." By the way, are these what y'all are calling spoonerisms?

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 03:32 PM

Momentos are sub-anemic particles which endow mass, collectively, with momentum, isn't they? You get too many of them in one place the effect is to generate more of them, and you a vicious circus indeed! LOL!!

These are too rich.


A

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Bert
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 04:26 PM

Genie, I always thought that "coup de grace" was French for Lawnmower ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 06:07 PM

so THAT's what has happened in my basement, Amos!...all those 'momentos' have collided and accrued excess mass, which has then divided exponentially and filled all the space formerly occupied by quarks!...

The good news is, I can have yard sales forever...if I "coup de gras", that is...

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Genie
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 08:39 PM

One I heard on the news this afternoon -- on NPR, of all places -- was a statement that such-and-such government agency didn't believe certain (potentially problematic) conditions "posed any real standards for the public." (Sorry I don't remember the details of what potential hazards they were talking about, but in context it was obvious they meant to say these things would not "pose problems" (or "threats" or "hazards").

Yeah, Bert, it would be "lawnmower" if you pronounce it right. ;-)

Guest, was that THE "Freddie's Doughnuts" -- that used to operate in the Newark, NJ area? When I was in grade school in East Orange, Freddie's Doughnuts were to my friends and me what Krispy Kremes seem to be to folks nowadays. If that's the company, it's too bad they are no more. (Oh, the memories!) And, yes, your letter and syllable juxtaposition constitute "spoonerisms." (There's a thread or two in the forum on those.)

Genie

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Sep 02 - 11:37 AM

Genie,

I'm not really sure if the two Freddies are one and the same. Lansing, Michigan had 3 shops, I think. They all closed down shortly after Dunkin' Donuts came on the scene. I haven't had time to read all the posts to this thread. Has anyone mentioned the hilarious stories Grandpa Jones used to tell on Hee Haw?...

Rindercella and the Pransome Hince (Rinder slopped her dripper, ya know.) Or the Pee Little Thrigs and the Wig Bad Bolf (the ol' bolf puffed and huffed and howed the blouse down.)

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Sep 02 - 09:07 AM

I once told a french cab driver to take me to the Big Chicken. The Grand Palais came out as Grand Pullet.

A friend realized after the fact why there had been an awkward silence at a formal dinner in Paris, after the host asked if anyone was hungry, she'd said Oui, mange moi! Yes, eat me!

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Genie
Date: 06 Sep 02 - 05:50 PM

Well, I once told someone in France that I was going to wash my horses. (I said "mes chevaux," instead of "mes cheveux.")

¤;-D

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: C-flat
Date: 07 Sep 02 - 04:28 AM

The same person responsible for the "vicious circus" quote was also overheard singing "I'm just a cock-eyed octopus"(optimist).
Another little gem came from the wife of a friend. Her rendition of "Only the lonely" comes out as "Only Baloney".

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: GUEST,Juanita
Date: 20 Sep 02 - 04:07 PM

One I hear frequently is the Spanish phrase "mano a mano" used as though it meant "man to man." It doesn't. It means "hand to hand."

J

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Bernard
Date: 21 Sep 02 - 12:00 PM

Read that through and make sure you are completely faux pas with it...

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Fifer
Date: 21 Sep 02 - 12:03 PM

A local politician in our area, not renowned for either the clarity of his thought, or language, stood to address his fellow councillors, and uttered the following...

"It has been brung to my attention that certain allegations have been made about members of this council! You may rest assured that the alligators will be found, and made to explain themselves"

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: GUEST,Brían
Date: 21 Sep 02 - 09:23 PM

I had an Algebra teacher who was fond of giving what he referred to as "Little quizzies", until a sudent commented one day as she looked at her paper:

"If this is one of your little quizzies, I'd hate to see one of your testies".

A friend of mine overheard a co-worker who was ordering sandwiches for the office ask for a Tuna Caesarean sandwich.

Brían

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Mr Red
Date: 22 Sep 02 - 03:46 AM

Didn't Mrs Malaprop say "child progeny"?
GUEST,Brían
that Tuna Caesarean, was it delivered with a knife (& fork)?

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Genie
Date: 22 Sep 02 - 04:37 AM

I heard a newscaster or commentator today speak of someone being "too big for his bridges."

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 12:19 PM

I once worked in a school where the headmaster constatntly reminded students "not to conjucate at the water fountain".

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: GUEST,Brían
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 02:37 PM

Were declensions allowed?

Brían

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: GUEST,Mike the Knife
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 04:08 PM

While living in Germany, I made the following errors: While proudly describing what I was making for dinner, I tried to tell my girlfriend's mother that I was preparing a "Gemuse Auflauf" (Vegetable Cassarole). Instead, I told her I was preparing a "Gemuse Einlauf" (Enema)

Same German girlfriend: While trying to impress her & her friends (who had all worked/studied in the UK), I bought a bunch of different Cheddars, Stilton, etc. from an Irish fellow who operated a stand on the square on market days. When explaining where it all came from- instead of telling them it came from an Irishman (Irer) with a stand (Stand) on the market, it came accross that the cheese came from a crazy person (Irrer) with an erection (Stander).

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Genie
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 11:59 PM

LMAO, Mike!!!

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Genie
Date: 24 Sep 02 - 12:07 AM

Mike, your story reminds me of a mistake I made when I was in Italy (more than a few years ago). It's not really a malaprop nor even a mondegreen, because the error was in my mental translation.

I was getting comfortable enough with speaking Italian in casual conversation that I had begun to think sort of half in Italian and half in English.

My Italian boyfriend said to me, when I was sitting on his lap, "Sei legere come un piume." ("Piume" sounds pretty much like the English word "puma," if you prounce that as "pyoo-muh.") I actually knew enough Italian to translate his sentence easily as "You are light as a feather." But my initial take on what he had said was "You are light as a puma."

I didn't quite know how to take that remark--until I reflected on what he had actually said.

Genie

Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms
From: Mr Red
Date: 24 Sep 02 - 02:28 PM

Mike the Knife
a good healthy heap of curry and you would have bean (sic) right.