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BS: missing millions
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Subject: BS: missing millions From: GUEST,red and white rabbit Date: 18 Jun 03 - 12:24 PM No this is not about cash - nor is it for those of you with a delicate disposition OKay this is my confusion - it doesnt take much - a friend of mine has recently had a baby to a guy who had had a vasectomy - no it wasnt an accident and no he didnt have his knots untied he just had a needle inserted and the sperm removed through that but - and this is the question I want answering what happens to all the millions of sperm who sally forth and hit knots? Do they turn round and go back home? do they get recycled? Do they hang around on the street corner waiting to see if they will be released or if a number 38 bus will take them somewhere else instead? Is that really what constitues a male middle aged spread? What happens? I know I can rely on you lot for the answer. |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: MMario Date: 18 Jun 03 - 12:28 PM They don't actually get to sally forth - the barricade is across the flat door! |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: Morticia Date: 18 Jun 03 - 12:48 PM they probably go down the pub and watch the footie....very nice local just near the small intestine, I believe. |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: Amos Date: 18 Jun 03 - 02:00 PM They die, decompose, their consituent elements are assimilated and recycled (excellent protein, those spermies). Well, you asked. But there are always more being generated behind the knot, assuming the testes are operational. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: Don Firth Date: 18 Jun 03 - 03:06 PM They sit around and sulk. Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: sian, west wales Date: 18 Jun 03 - 03:34 PM How does Amos know all this stuff? I'm not sure it's healthy ... sian |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: Ebbie Date: 18 Jun 03 - 03:34 PM Hardly anything new there- the chances of any one of them being THE one have always been slim to nonexistent, anyway. Kind of like winnng the lottery. |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: Sorcha Date: 18 Jun 03 - 06:10 PM JFK used to complain that if he didn't have sex once a day he had horrible headaches, so do vascetimized men have horrible headaches? I mean, the 'pressure' so to speak, is not being relieved........(uh oh, I'm in for it now.......) |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: Amos Date: 18 Jun 03 - 07:00 PM Sorcha: I dunno, darlin' but I would hazard the guess that the whole "suffering for want of release" thing is part of the adolescent manuvering catalogue dreamed up by young men trying desperately to persuade young women to surrender their donjon keeps. Never estimate male wiles when there's sex in the prospect-- including JFK's headaches. Well, he may have gotten headaches, but I would bet it had nothing to do with sperm buildup, I'm pretty sure, more likely some deepseated psychosomatic computation on his part. It is true that there is a great deal of desperation in the desires of youth but it is not, in fact, driven by physical pain -- more like a satyric appetite than anything else... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: rangeroger Date: 18 Jun 03 - 07:05 PM The brings into focus the male counterpart to PMS,SRS. Sperm Retention Syndrome. Since men are often accused of thinking with their genitals, when the sperm get backed up they all flow to the brain causing the male to often exhibit extremely bizarre behavior. rr |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: catspaw49 Date: 18 Jun 03 - 07:58 PM Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: Amos Date: 18 Jun 03 - 08:54 PM Ya know, this explains why everyone thinks they CAN win the lottery -- it worked once!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: Doug_Remley Date: 18 Jun 03 - 10:06 PM The "release" is often a quantity of seminal fluid produced by the prostate, which acts as a wehicle for whatever sperm join it from a separate source, much like a paint mixture with or without "pigment." |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: Sorcha Date: 18 Jun 03 - 11:49 PM Thank you for the 'real' answers. The beating was much less than I expected it to be. (BIG GRIN) |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: Amos Date: 19 Jun 03 - 12:22 AM Beating? That's a far-fetched solution to the problem, really....at least that's what Spaw says and he's an expert... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: Sorcha Date: 19 Jun 03 - 12:58 AM AAARRRGGGHHH! I think I'll go to sleep now........maybe on the couch, NOT 'to bed'............... |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: C-flat Date: 19 Jun 03 - 02:41 AM With regard to the issue of headaches and "sperm retention syndrome", I was vasectomised 5 years ago and have noticed no vas deferens! |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: MC Fat Date: 19 Jun 03 - 04:44 AM I too have had the 'two bricks job' (does it hurt ? Only if your fingers are in the way !!) and I just have this mental vision at the given moment of all these lads going 'Wa hey ere we go' and then committing hari kari by bashing their heads against a wall. So the question is every time I have a shag am I committing murder (Mr Taggart theres bin a murrderr) on is it voluntary manslaughter ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: Stilly River Sage Date: 19 Jun 03 - 10:59 AM Good one, C-flat! RR, Please rework that name, "Sperm Retention Syndrome," the acronym is already in use (SRS). No sperm has been slammed against a wall or otherwise restrained on my account. I intercepted a couple of the buggers (with fantastic results!), but found divorce was a better solution than surgery to cease any output I would have to deal with. Gonad Congestion Syndrome would work. GCS SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: C-flat Date: 19 Jun 03 - 12:38 PM I endorse what MC Fat says about there being no pain during the procedure but nearly everyone I know who has had "the snip" had a problem later with infection. In my own case the swelling was quite dramatic (I wish I'd took polariod), "please can you take the pain away but leave the swelling?" The worst part was encountering a very young and attractive nurse who was helping during the operation by holding my terrified member out of harms way while the doc did his stuff! She was determined to make me at ease by chattering about the weather and what she was doing at the weekend while I desparately tried to ignore her and focus my mind on anything other than a pretty blonde smiling at me while holding my penis! Oh yes, there was also the humiliation of being offered a sanitary towel to wrap around my testicles! I bet that nurse has a few laughs with her friends in the pub after work. |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: GUEST,red and white rabbit Date: 19 Jun 03 - 01:49 PM well thank you for the answer - I think!! McFat it depeds whether or not you had the intention to ejaculate or not - if you were being held by a beautiful nurse and couldnt help it then I think its involuntary manslaughter if however you were going for another yodel with the sound of music lass then I am afraid thats murder and warrants a 20 year stretch with no time off for good behaviour!! Let me get this right - if a man says he has a headache he is in need of sex - if a woman has a headache its because she doesnt want to be an accessory to murder!! By the way can it be murder if you cant find the bodies? |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: Amos Date: 19 Jun 03 - 03:05 PM Well, geeze, if you're gonna be ridiculous, maybe I should figure out a way to start copyrighting all my potential ideas so I could claim infringement by anything published? Hey, it's got letters in it, right? That proves its mine... Oh, my aching head!! :>) A |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: GUEST,red and white rabbit Date: 20 Jun 03 - 03:48 AM name the time and the place Amos - I hate to see a man suffering!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: GUEST,U. Screwitt II Date: 20 Jun 03 - 04:05 AM Dear Mr Fat I have to inform you that the police are now holding a murder investigation - you are the prime suspect and I am willing to represent you should you need legal advice. There will of course be a small fee for handling a case of mass murder- top of the road prices should cover it nicely - are there any other confessions you wish to make - do you wish other incidents to be taken into account? As you will appreciate handling such a case is a delicate matter. I have no wish to 'balls it up' but I understand there is the possibilty of a co- conspiritor being cited a one Master Bates - seaman first class from Grimsby - do you have any info you wish to hand on? |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: Allan C. Date: 20 Jun 03 - 06:28 AM Amos, you said, "It is true that there is a great deal of desperation in the desires of youth but it is not, in fact, driven by physical pain..." Clearly the expression, being "blue balled" means nothing to you. However, I am sure many a young man found himself in considerable discomfort after an evening that included lots of stimulation, (sometimes referred to as "prick teasing") without release. |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: MC Fat Date: 20 Jun 03 - 06:39 AM or the young lad who was told by the priest to stop masterbating and save himself until he got married. A few months later the priest met him and asked if he was still saving himself. The young man replied he had 10 milk bottles full already !!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: Amos Date: 20 Jun 03 - 08:55 AM Allan: Plenty of discomfort, yes. Noithing a cold shower or a night's sleep wouldn't resolve. 'Course, who'd want to take a cold shower in that condition, and them all full of youthy zest? Not likely. But not real pain. A lot less painful, for example, than bein in extremis over a full bladder. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: Liz the Squeak Date: 21 Jun 03 - 04:08 AM It's OK Mr McFat, Habeus Corpus (or have his carcase) and all that - you can't be charged with murder if they have no body - only in connection with a disappearance. Of course, now that you have made a full confession on a public forum, we don't need a body and will be round yours as soon as we've uncrossed our legs. PC Flasher of the Yard. |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: annamill Date: 21 Jun 03 - 12:58 PM I can't believe I'm reading a thread about lost sperm! And some of my favorite people are posting to it! This is such a crazy place. Love, Annamill |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: Amos Date: 21 Jun 03 - 04:38 PM ...and who will ever forget the deathless cry, Get back! Get back!!! It's a BLOW JOB!!!Regards, A |
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Subject: RE: BS: missing millions From: Joe Offer Date: 10 Aug 03 - 09:47 PM Think of it - a million!!! |
