BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!

Subject: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:15 PM

I wish to announce a most prestigious and marvelous piece of news! The official Clinton Hammond Fan Club has been formed, with its offices in the Barrie area, southern Ontario, Canada. Raptor is the President. I am Vice President. My dog, Valdy, is secretary-treasurer and Nilson, a local Barrie-area skunk who lives near Raptor's house, is in charge of security.

We all agree that Clinton is remarkable. He hates grass and birds and despises New Age philosopy. He murders skunks by proxy. He is secretly planning to destroy the planet Earth and exterminate the human race. He's an excellent musician. He exhibits the tenderness of a sledgehammer and the compassion of a moray eel. His beard is extremely well groomed. He loves "Trailer Park Boys". When I think of Clinton, I can't decide whether he should be knighted or hanged! All these qualities put together result in a man who really deserves a fan club, and that is why we formed it.

PM Raptor if you don't believe me.

We are planning to host a getogether in May at Raptor's place, and we encourage all Clinton Hammond fans to come and camp out on Raptor's floor, play music, and watch episodes of Trailer Park Boys on the big screen with surround sound!

Yowsa! Be there or be deprived.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Raptor
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:23 PM

Who wants too join?

I will send you an Official Clinton Hammond fan club T-shirt!(for the cost of shipping)

Raptor

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Bobert
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:25 PM

Well danged. Count me in. Any other prestigious and cushy jobs left?

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Benjamin
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:29 PM

Gee, I don't know. I can't commit to it yet (a full schedual you know) but if Firecat joins, then I'll join too.
Good Luck!
Benjamin

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:30 PM

Do -I- get a T-shirt?

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Raptor
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:32 PM

No You get Nothing!

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:33 PM

Feew...

The last thing I need is another damn T-shirt!

Hehehe

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:33 PM

Why did you start this thread?

Reading your contributions, Little Hawk, I assumed that you weren't an utter dimwit and had some useful things to say.

Maybe I was wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Ebbie
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:39 PM

Clinton will come to Orillia on a gig and sell out. And will make more money than you even dream of. And that will be your punishment, Little Hawk and Raptor. Shame, shame, shame...

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:40 PM

C'mon, Clinton! You get the glory. Isn't that enough? Nilson is waiting eagerly for your arrival...

GUEST - You are obviously a kindred soul! I love you too. Where do we send your T-shirt? (I started this thread, actually, because Raptor phoned me up and asked me to. He's the President of the Club, so I had to do it.)

Bobert - We need an official spanker, and I guess you'll do.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Raptor
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:40 PM

Guest,
Clinton Hammond Has a sence of humor

Little Hawk does too

I need something to laugh at lately

Get one yourself and sign in with your member name!

Raptor

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:44 PM

This is SO goin' on my web site!

LOL

Can I at least SEE a t-shirt?

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:44 PM

Aw, c'mon, Ebbie...you have no idea how much money I can dream of. :-) If Clinton sells out, so much the better! Anyway, it's all happening at Raptor's place, so why should I worry? He's almost as crazy as Clinton, but in a different way.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: SueB
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:44 PM

Ah - a Clinton Hammond impersonator already. Any one have tips for "Guest"? I have not been studying the Clinton Hammond phenomenon for long, but I think guest has not quite hit it on the mark - a good CH impersonation would be more acerbic and/or sarcastic and/or just plain ornery, and less gratuitously insulting.

Regarding fan club, I'm available to scarf up free refreshments and complain about the organization's leadership and disbursement of funds.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Raptor
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:46 PM

Ebbie We want to get Clinton up here but he said that he might be busy so we figgered that if we start the club he'll have to come!

We would like nothing more than to see him get rich!

He could eat caviar and baby on crackers every night!

Raptor

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:47 PM

I have a digital camera, so I will photograph the T-shirt and send you the jpegs, Clinton. We gotta find an appropriate model to show it off right. Hmmmm... I wonder what happened to Suzanne? Eh, Raptor?

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:48 PM

-IF- I ever get rich, I promise to spread my bread around!

bookmark this thread and hold me to it!

:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Raptor
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:50 PM

I've already got on made that says the Clinton Hammond World tour (from an earlier joke that little Hawk and I had on a thread! PM me and I'll send it to ya!

Raptor

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:51 PM

Count me in. I'm not acquainted with Clinton's music and have no idea what Trailer Park Boys is (are?), but anybody that hates grass and New Age philosopy can't be all bad. I'll take leaf litter and good old-fashioned Nihilism any day! And there are a few members of the human race I wouldn't mind seeing exterminated. We'll overlook the extremely well-groomed beard, although that is a symptom of a major personality disorder. Why grow it if ya hafta groom it more than once a year?

But, mainly I wanna be a member of the Clinton Hammond Fan Club because Clinton has inferred in another thread that I am paranoid. And here I thought the little purple-talkin' guys were the only ones that knew about that.

Oh hell, guys! There he goes again! Get the nets and the tranq gun! And make sure the Goddammed thing's loaded this time. Hurry up, dammit! He's gettin' away again!

Dammit! I don't care if Little Hawk hates the phrase "kick some ass", I'm gonna kick some ass! The rate you fuckups are goin' we ain't never gonna catch that ol' sumbitch!

Yeeehaaawww!!! You little purple-talkin' fuckers'll never catch me!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:52 PM

SueB - Don't worry about disbursement of funds! My dachshund, Valdy, is the treasurer, and he is completely uninterested in money. Accordingly, I do not think we are going to do any reckless overspending. Your concerns about the Club's leadership, however, are well-founded...to say the least.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Tinker
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:52 PM

Perhaps Trailer Trash Barbie could model the T-shirts ???

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:57 PM

My Gawd!!! Will it be Trailer Trash Barbie or Suzanne that gets to model the T-shirt? This is tough.

Bee-dub - Clinton didn't infer that, he implied it. I think...

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:00 PM

It don't matter whether he inferred it or implied it as long as it's true.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:02 PM

Wellywellywell, now! Looks like you've hit the big time at last, clanmate. Congrats are on order.

Shipping should take 2 weeks and remember to tip the courier.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Metchosin
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:13 PM

I'll join! I'll join! Can I? He has an awesome recipe for mead and I think Trailer Park Boys are funny too. Sorry can't make it out to Ontari-ari-ari-O any time soon though......I'm so deprived.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: michaelr
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:19 PM

"-IF- I ever get rich, I promise to spread my bread around!

bookmark this thread and hold me to it!"

Clinton, I've got another promise of yours bookmarked. Ya gonna make good on it anytime soon?

Cheers,
Michael

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 07:27 PM

You dind't get it???

Dang... I'll look around in my sent email folder and see if I still have it...

Wondered why I hadn't heard from you about it Michael...

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Bobert
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 08:41 PM

L.H.

Between being the "spanker" and the "spankee", I'll take the spanker post...

When do I start?

And..... what time is lunch hour...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 08:49 PM

Ya starts when ya gits here. Lunch is purty well any old time as long as it's after breakfust.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Peace
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 08:57 PM

Clinton,

The club president kept all the blowup dolls. Watch him. But, I'll join the club, too. T-shirt or not.

Bruce Murdoch

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: rangeroger
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:03 PM

I also would like to join. You could make another t-shirt design that has an arrow pointing to CH with the logo "I'm a Fan of Asshole"

   It would be fun to go up to Ontario and play a whole bunch of music and get blind drunk. Which reminds me, is Shane a member?

rr

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Leadfingers
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:10 PM

Do you need any one to front up the UK branch ?? If so can I offer my decidedly inferior services ??

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:14 PM

Yes you can! Inferior services is exactly what we're after here. We're not snobs.

I haven't heard from Shane yet.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: harpgirl
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 11:14 PM

I'll have a vinegar and water to celebrate!

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: GUEST,SJF
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 11:14 PM

So... I've been ghosting mudcat in my spare time as long as himself has been posting. I have finally been moved to post.

Please don't do this... I have to live with him!

And if you are doing this... I think I need a t-shirt for my pain and suffering.

Signed
Clinton's long-suffering wife Sarah

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 11:23 PM

Sarah, I feel your pain and grok your suffering. I remember.   ;)



"I haven't heard from Shane yet."

Are you waiting for the full moon, LH?

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 11:41 PM

CH sold out a loooong time ago and you lot are still going to let him eat babies on crackers?! Someone call the SPCC!

I still want a t-shirt, though!

Sarah, nice to see the better half!:-)

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: GUEST,Valdy the dachshund - Club Treasurer
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 05:21 AM

Of course I've never been interested in money - up to now I've never had any. Ah well I've just had a long phone conversation with my girlfriend Tamsin - she's a pekinese who lives in a penthouse and we are going to see about getting a lift installed so I can visit her. It's been tough up to now because you must realise Dachshunds with erections can't climb stairs.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 10:47 AM

LOL! Poor Valdy had his knick-knacks removed awhile back, due to complications (he's getting rather elderly), so the whole thing is a fantasy anyway. I'll see if I can find a nice jpeg of Valdy somewhere...maybe.

I figure Shane will drop in any time now.

Sarah, you have my deepest sympathy! :-)

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:18 AM

I'd be happy to join myself but I'd want a t-shirt with his picture and since he doesn't want his picture on a t-shirt, I'll have to take a pass on this at least for now.

Outside of fanning yourselves, what does a fan club do?

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Raptor
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:39 AM

SARAH You get a T-shirt and a freakin Medal!!!!!

PM me and I'll send you one first. (no shit)

Raptor

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:43 AM

Well if it had his picture on it 'spaw I'd volunteer to model it - my chest would be a good match for his head! I'd only join if I could have a t shirt made in chain mail.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Metchosin
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:58 AM

Poor Valdy indeed, he just hasn't met a sexy Westie bitch and become excited enough. Our Old Wort, the dachshund cross had his knackers removed too, but that didn't stop Old Wort. Hell, he didn't even need Viagra, he may have been shooting blanks, but he lived in doggy heaven for the last few years of his long life. Yer of little faith Little Hawk, invite a a lady in an ermine coat to move in, his dick will be dragging on the ground again in no time.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 12:45 PM

You are probably right, Metchosin. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 12:50 PM

What do we do? Well, we sit around and watch Trailer Park Boys. We play guitars. We grease the top of the bird feeder and watch the squirrel go flying off it in a desperate scramble of flailing arms and legs and laugh ourselves silly. That kind of thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 12:58 PM

I volunteer to head up the Pacific Northwest Regional Branch of the Clinton Hammond Fan Club (PNRBoCHFC, for short). As my first official act I volunteer to drink good beer.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Peg
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 01:31 PM

I can't make it to Canada but I will serve as the Spiritual-Advisor-at-Large...

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Raptor
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 01:46 PM

Good, Peg Your in Say somthin upliftin!

Raptor

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 01:50 PM

So does that mean we pour out our problems to you, and you pour the spirits, Peg?

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Tinker
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 02:22 PM

Clinton, I think that's the bartender.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Devilmaster
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 02:25 PM

devilmaster is holding a beer.

Steve

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 02:26 PM

Some of the best sprit advisers I've ever had have been bartenders!

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Metchosin
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 03:11 PM

Well I dunno, I sort of pictured something like this for Spiritual Advisor, maybe there better be a vote on that one though.

Clinton, I don't think you have any say on this.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 03:17 PM

-Buddy Christ is cooler!-

Heh

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Raptor
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 03:25 PM

Clinton, Metchosin is right you don't get a say we don't want you in our club at all!

bugger off!

Raptor

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 03:32 PM

I don't want a 'say'... I'm just making conversation...

'bugger off'

Yer not that lucky!

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 05:30 PM

I've enlisted about twenty nineteen year old girls to be Clinton Hammond Groupies (CHaGs). They are out enlisting more. We're working it as a pyramid scheme and soon hope to have every young woman in Idaho who is between eighteen and twenty-five a CHaG.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Tinker
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 05:43 PM

Okay it's time for SASS cause we wimen don't much take SASS from thm trailer trash boys without dishin' it back. We've got to do them up higher and lower and such ... so along with being fan club members we'em need more than ya'll can provide. SASS

Society for the Admiration of Suffering Sarah --- definately a higher necessity

Spiritual Advisors to Sorry Spouses-- techniques of spiritual dispensations

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 06:49 PM

This is getting better all the time! This is what happens with truly great ideas. We now have a spinoff club forming: SASS

And it's a great idea!

The idea about the Idaho groupies is intriguing too. The officers of the CHFC would, of course, be required to personally interview and screen said groupies before they were issued their membership badges.

I think Peg and I should arrange to pool our considerable talents, kidnap Clinton, hold him incommunicado for a week or two in an undisclosed location, and thoroughly indoctrinate him in New Age literature, Wiccan healing techniques, and Universal Spiritual Principles. Then we turn him loose...the kinder, gentler Clinton Hammond...a man who rescues homeless skunks and adores small children. A man who kisses babies, but doesn't run for office. A man, in short, reborn!

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: GUEST,Helium
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 09:25 PM

upliftmeohupliftmeohupliftmeohupliftmeohicsplatttt

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Devilmaster
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 12:39 AM

Little Hawk said:
I think Peg and I should arrange to pool our considerable talents, kidnap Clinton, hold him incommunicado for a week or two in an undisclosed location, and thoroughly indoctrinate him in New Age literature, Wiccan healing techniques, and Universal Spiritual Principles. Then we turn him loose...the kinder, gentler Clinton Hammond...a man who rescues homeless skunks and adores small children. A man who kisses babies, but doesn't run for office. A man, in short, reborn!

Man, I could so see this turning into the Stockholm syndrome. But... in reverse. Next thing ya know, nobody will be able to save LH and Peg. ;)

Steve

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 01:12 AM

Used to be able to buy a cloth with a screen printed chain mail pattern on it.

I used to knit chain mail. You get strong wrists.

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Raptor
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 08:56 AM

Rapare set high goals is fine but to "Have" every young woman in Idaho

I think Little Hawk has a better shot at makeing Clinton Hammond into a Decent Human...   Hmmm... Mabey not

Raptor

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Peg
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 12:02 PM

well, as anyone knows,any period of cultic indoctrination necessitates a period of total abstinence from all intoxicating substances...and activities. And usually a period of near-starvation is needed as well.

Anyone stillinterested?

that's why cults kidnap people. ;0

Uplifting thought for the day:

No matter how stupidly you behaved last night, there is still someone in the world today who is a bigger asshole than you are or will ever be.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Cluin
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 12:47 PM

Little Hawk pecked out:
"I think Peg and I should arrange to pool our considerable talents, kidnap Clinton, hold him incommunicado for a week or two in an undisclosed location, and thoroughly indoctrinate him in New Age literature, Wiccan healing techniques, and Universal Spiritual Principles. Then we turn him loose...the kinder, gentler Clinton Hammond...a man who rescues homeless skunks and adores small children. A man who kisses babies, but doesn't run for office. A man, in short, reborn!"


You think that hasn't been tried already? Do yer worst.
Just let get some beer and nachos first. It promises to bee the spectator sport of the season.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 12:58 PM

" No matter how stupidly you behaved last night"

From Ron White on the "Blue Coller Comedy" show

"I didn't get where I am today worrying about how I'd feel tomorrow"

-------------------------

"New Age"

Heh... My favourite "New Age" is 12 year old Lagavulin...

-------------------------

"kidnap Clinton... and thoroughly indoctrinate him in New Age literature, Wiccan healing techniques, and Universal Spiritual Principles"

I'd chew my own head off and escape down my own throat first!

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 07:21 PM

Ha! Just the reaction I expected, Clinton. :-) I plan to go and visit Raptor soon and check out the T-shirt, but I think he's got stomach flu today, poor lad.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Raptor
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 09:22 AM

Clinton "Heres your sign"

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Devilmaster
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 03:46 PM

So back to the original question:

'How much money would it take to get CH to play a house concert that weekend?"   ;)   (like any good agent, i'm trying to profit off of the work and sweat of others. You should have seen my plans for a decorative paddle business last night) :D

Steve

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: GUEST,Slap Happy
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 04:32 PM

If I ever have a son, I am going to name him William Clinton Hammond Jefferson.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Cluin
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 04:45 PM

Bill Clinton?

How `bout Clinton Hammond Rye?

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Raptor
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 09:57 AM

Here's a challenge to all Clinton Hammond Fans out there!

Grow a goatee beard Just Like Clinton!

Raptor

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: *daylia*
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 10:22 AM

Raptor, I'll try, but it'll probably require some kind of divine intervention.

So for those of us who are hormonally challenged to express our loyalty this way, how about letting armpit hair grow, maybe even dying it red just like Clinton's, instead??? (I'm assuming the hair in his pits is red, just like the hair on his head. But I've yet to gaze into his armpits .... hey, maybe he'll post a picture so we'll all know for sure!)

;-)   daylia

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: GUEST,Valdy the dachshund - Club Treasurer
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 11:00 AM

The other night on the television there was a report about testicular implants for dogs. Tamsin agrees with me that it would be nice for me to have a full cluster again. Does anyone have a contact number for this sort of treatment ?

Keep the donations pouring in - life's a warm bitch on heat !

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Bill D
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 11:08 AM

implants, Valdy? With your luck, you'd get 'em from a St. Bernard, and twice the problem climbing stairs!

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 11:49 AM

Goatee??? That's a goatee?

The wimmen too? I mean, we go wimmen out here in Idaho that can do it, but I dunno....

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Raptor
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 11:56 AM

It looked like a goatee on his main page!

OK Goatee, Beard, Red Pit Fur, Grow whatever you want!

Raptor

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: GUEST,T-shirt orders
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 12:24 PM

T-shirts be quick before the sell out

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 01:40 PM

My campaign to recruit all of the young women in Idaho into the CHFC is going far more slowly than expected.

The comments are interesting:

"CHFC? Isn't that one of those chemicals that are killing the ozone layer?"

"Who? Clinton? Sorry, I'm Republican."

"Is he the guy that makes the maps? I just loooooooove his atlases!"

"The what??"

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 01:58 PM

Nice shirts, bo! Now make some similar ones with Big Daddy Malone's picture on them, and underneath it: "Shoot Me On Sight"

They would sell great in Chicago. I guarantee it.

Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 08:12 PM

hey t-shirts rule

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: GUEST,Cluin
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 08:29 PM

I already have a goatee. And I don't want to be a member. I ain't no fan and I ain't no joiner. But I'm keeping my goat, at least for another couple weeks till it warms up some.

Besides you spelled his first name wrong on the T-Shirt.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 10:39 PM

And my last name too...

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jan 04 - 12:12 AM

Yeah, that is weird about the spelling...but Raptor has always been a poor speller. I'll have to see if we can do a second run and fix that. You just KNOW if we do, that those first few mispelled shirts will be worth a fortune on Ebay in a year or two from now!!!

Got a call from Britney Spears. She wants to join the Idaho groupies desperately.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: clansfolk
Date: 27 Jan 04 - 07:06 AM

I thought the misspelling on the T-shirts was intentional?

- and there to be corrected...

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Raptor
Date: 27 Jan 04 - 09:19 AM

I did not make those T-shirts

Raptor

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 04 - 10:37 AM

Since Britney Spears is not a resident of this Great Area, she can only be accepted in the Pacific Northwest Regiment (Idaho Battalion) of the CHFC if she can pass a Certain Test. The examination is of course confidential, but another young woman (who passed it) refered to the battery of examinations as "those cute l'il ol' testys."

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Raptor
Date: 27 Jan 04 - 12:47 PM

Rapaire, You called me perverted and madfolk?

Raptor

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jan 04 - 09:15 PM

So, who did make those T-shirts then?

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Cluin
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 12:32 AM

Someone who really likes bilabial nasal and alveolar nasal consonants.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Metchosin
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 12:38 AM

aw gee......I can only sport a few errant hairs on my chin and my red pit hair is decidedly sparse too......will you accept a red merkin Raptor?

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Cluin
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 12:49 AM

What's a merkin?

Is it shaped like an upside down goatee?

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Metchosin
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 01:10 AM

not usually........but I guess if you wanted to get creative, you could make it look like an upsidedown goatee, depending on which way you stuck it on.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Cluin
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 01:20 AM

Then it would look like an arrow, but pointing the wrong way.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Raptor
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 10:11 AM

What is a Mirkin?

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 11:12 AM

I thought EVERYONE knew what a merkin is. All of the young women in the Idaho Regiment are wearing them; they have the letters "CHFC" woven in.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 11:15 AM

Rapaire, you old scoundrel, we need ya to fill in the Fermi end on the latest caper. Read up on it and get ta work. The plot's heating up fast. Contact Chief and Hawk for details behind the scenes.

Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 01:48 PM

My wife is still waiting for her T-shirt!

:-P

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 01:58 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Metchosin - PM
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 01:10 AM

not usually........but I guess if you wanted to get creative, you could make it look like an upsidedown goatee, depending on which way you stuck it on.
***************************************************************

A year and a half and nobody bit on that one? (Yup... definitely intended.)

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 02:06 PM

"nobody bit on that one"

Excuse the pun eh?

100

:-P

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 02:19 PM

You did... so bite me.

BTW, sorry for what I didn't say to you the day before yesterday in the posts that don't exist. Not that I didn't mean it... it's just that I gotta learn to "keep my nose out". 'nee jerk reaction? gknight in rusting armour perhaps? No matter... what's not be done is done away with.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 07:07 PM

You ain't never played Blind River, Clinton. That makes you a flippin' loser in my book. Shape up, eh?

- BDiBR

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: GUEST,WAsTed in wAwa
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 07:25 PM

ha ha ahah *hic* ha!

flippin' floppin' loserS go BLinD in dRunk RIver

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 07:45 PM

Sounds like a country song in the makin.

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Devilmaster
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 08:06 PM

I want a t-shirt, damnit!!!!!!

That way, i can officially be the band's 'wrong-hole' roadie.....

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 08:27 PM

You already are Steve...

:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: bobad
Date: 26 Jun 05 - 04:11 PM

How much do we get paid to join ?

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Emma B
Date: 27 Jun 05 - 07:40 AM

Hey! - I've already got the CH CD!

Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jun 05 - 02:18 PM

You should SEE the flippin' T-shirt, man...FAR FLIPPIN' OUT!