Subject: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: GUEST,MMario Date: 04 May 05 - 09:32 AM In Honour of MOAB'S birthday May 5th and also Mother's Day (May 8th this year) the Tavern is open. The front door of course is conveniently located for ALL mudcatters (one of the beauties of this virtual tavern) and the East door is currently located in the Grand Tetons, the Western door opens onto a lovely little coral atoll in the South Pacific with an enclosed lagoon, sandy beach and tropical flowers in abundance. The southern door for some wierd reason opens into Stilly River Sage's back yard (mind the poisen ivy!) and of course 'Spaw's DOOR OF DOOM is boarded over to prevent use. The northern door opens onto Little Bear Creek "between Laramie and Boulder, where the yellow flowers are firing up in the Spring, and the nodding grasses whisper in the sunset" No jello pit by MOAB's special request - but Bee-Dubya-Ell has promised blueberries from the 2007 crop (by special arrangement with the Time Lords) and rumour has it that there are single malts begging to be tasted. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 04 May 05 - 09:34 AM Leo, are you proposing a roll in the blueberries?!?!?!? ~S~ |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: GUEST,MMario Date: 04 May 05 - 09:44 AM *blush* not in front of MOM! |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 May 05 - 10:37 AM Sage walks to the door of the tavern and sees a monitor over by the bar staggering under the weight of the thread it is attempting to download. It looks like the whole MOAB thread is trying to arrive via that link! "That'll scare anyone off if the poison ivy doesn't," she thinks to herself. This might be a tidier way to visit the MOAB (just click on the last page). "Me, I'm going to head out of my back yard, back into the tavern and over to that atoll." (It's raining in the Texas backyard this morning.) Ah--I see my Negra Modelo is chilling in ice, and I brought along some of my home-made guacamole since it looks like a good day (at the atoll) to sit in the shade and drink beer and munch chips. And tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo--a big date here in Texas, and much bigger in Mexico. (It's the day a small Mexican army whupped a big French army in Puebla in 1862.) Good day to start a party! Here in Texas it will from from Thursday through Sunday at least! Happy Birthday Momma MOAB! |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: GUEST,MMario Date: 04 May 05 - 10:40 AM oops! But heck - it's only 7600 plus posts! |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: katlaughing Date: 04 May 05 - 10:47 AM (Sounds great but the Grand "Breasts" are actually NORTH of Laramie and Boulder, so you must've already had a few when you posted, eh, MMariodarlin'?) **BG** Have fun, luvyakat |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: GUEST,MMario Date: 04 May 05 - 10:51 AM since when have the doors around here opened in any logi-hic-al order? I just swept the mess and opened the place up. The problem may have been my caffiene levels have fallen too low. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: katlaughing Date: 04 May 05 - 10:58 AM LOL! Well it was nice to wake up to, anyway. T'anks, dahlin'...:-) Bert's credit card still in order? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: GUEST,MMario Date: 04 May 05 - 11:04 AM Bert's credit card still plugged in and still solvent! |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 May 05 - 11:08 AM Oh, yes, and they upped Bert's limit this year, did you notice? A duck drifts by in the gently lapping waters of the atoll beach, and a couple of 'catters are out wading. . . |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: GUEST,MMario Date: 04 May 05 - 11:30 AM Have you noticed all the seashells on the beach? I found this one and THIS one. I thought this might look good as a centerpiece. and maybe use this for a spittoon? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: Rapparee Date: 04 May 05 - 12:05 PM I would greatly appreciate a LARGE Talisker, please. About a liter. And three (3) regularily-sized ice cubes. Thank you. Aren't the mountains lovely? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: GUEST,boozetender Date: 04 May 05 - 12:15 PM Have a quart of Talisker, that okay? that will be 42 cents for the Talisker, and 199.31 each for the three ice cubes. Your total is $598.35. Shall I put it on Mr. Hansell's Simollian Card? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: artbrooks Date: 04 May 05 - 01:28 PM The time machine is operating today? Ahhhhh...good. Could I have a pitcher of Ballard Bitter, please? And a large bowl of no-salt, no-carbs, no-fat, no food value whatever...but taste just like the real thing...potato chips? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 04 May 05 - 01:32 PM A UPS truck arrives at the Southeastern door and the driver bounds* into the Tavern carrying a large box. "Got a boxful of spats here for someone!" he cries out, "And there's a box of silver-tipped walking canes and a box of silk tophats still on the truck. Somebody wanna gimme a hand?" Bounding is the required mode of movement for UPS drivers. Shuffling is frowned upon and mosying is a guaranteed pinkslip. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 May 05 - 01:42 PM You got that right on UPS drivers! They're tops* in their field. *This is in contrast to Airborne Express drivers, who have perfected the "fragile carton drop kick" delivery technique. Rapaire, did you notice the nice shells over there outside your door? Ya know, we need some spicy hot chili to go with all of this beer and chips and aguacate. And some fajitas. Are you planning to grill some skirt steaks, MMario? What creature will provide them? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: GUEST,MMario Date: 04 May 05 - 02:07 PM I didn't know tophats were made in silk. I thought they were a place in the bible. learn something new everyday! Who wanted the Transubtantive Potato Chips? I like the packaging - especially the "any literal content is illusion, as is life" motto. Well - I had a nice dinosaur picked out to make fajitas from - but some But there's a guy in Japan who claims to have crossed jellyfish with giant clams, which produced offsring with two meter hemisperical "skirts" of muscle - not counting the tentacles! Suppose those would work. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: GUEST,MMario Date: 04 May 05 - 02:08 PM hey Bee-Dubya! where are the berries? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: Rapparee Date: 04 May 05 - 02:17 PM Better those shells than these. He has no weapons, just a gentelman's rapier and dagger, and a knife and spoon with which to eat. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 May 05 - 03:01 PM Hmmm. I think I could go for some plain ol' Angus beef this time round. What say we charge a couple of Bert's card? Here's a sample of what I heard MMario listening to in the kitchen while he cooks. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: GUEST Date: 04 May 05 - 03:16 PM sure thang! Grass fed okay? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: Liz the Squeak Date: 04 May 05 - 03:50 PM Is it safe to come out of the bathroom now? Been in here a while and it's starting to get tedious..... Line me up with a chocolate genever please! LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: Rapparee Date: 04 May 05 - 03:53 PM Mmmmmmm...grass fat steers! Mmmmmmmmmmm...got any buffalo too? (Vegetarians and vegans please note: no animals are either used or harmed in any way in MOAB's celebrations. Eat up -- they're not meat unless you want them to be. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: SINSULL Date: 04 May 05 - 03:57 PM "ONE...TWO...KICK....TURN ONE...TWO...KICK...TURN" A woman dressed as a large lobster struts her stuff up to the bar, gently places a pudgy calico cat with an attitude on the stool next to hers and demands a huge JD on the rocks with a twist. "Let the games begin!. The rest of the New England contingent is somewhere behind me. They were side tracked by Seamus and a fire hydrant. So nice to attend a party I don't have to clean up after. Pass the berries please and some of those imaginary chips. Alice will take a salmon steak and the sexy UPS man." |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: darkriver Date: 04 May 05 - 03:58 PM Rapaire, I'll take your suggestion as our reality, then. And what sight could be more awesome than a vast herd of shaggy Tofulo stretching across the plain, with some lovely volunteers ambling in join the barbecue as guests of honor? (a brief chorus of "I am weary; I must rest.") Bartender, an espresso stout! Thanks. doug |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: GUEST,Barkeep's # 1 assistant Date: 04 May 05 - 04:03 PM Now Hear This! I ain't servin' no food or drinks unlessn' you get that cat cloaca offa this year bar now! No duck butts, no cat butts, no frog butts on my clean bar! Can't you see I cleaned it up special just for this year party? Thank you very much. Now what kind of drink would you be having, miss? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: GUEST,beertender Date: 04 May 05 - 04:08 PM da nada! besides Prime Tofullo we have Breast of Chickpea-hen; Planked fillet of fresh caught Sockeye Soylmen. I do caution you not to try to pet the Tufullo that are passing by though - they have quite a tempah! |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 May 05 - 04:09 PM Hmmm. I guess he means the barstools also. Sins, is your calico here for the beer, the food, the dancing, or to chase ducks? Have some guacamole. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: Rapparee Date: 04 May 05 - 05:15 PM Over in the corner, near where the Christmas Tree is annually destroyed, he places his gift to MOAB: a large box, wrapped in gayily colored paper and sporting a large fuscia bow. On it, there is a card that reads To MOAB, from your most beloved child, Happy Birthday and Happy, Happy Mother's Day. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 May 05 - 06:20 PM Mom doesn't like you best! She said she loves all of us equally! Amos and RR and I all heard her say so! |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: jacqui.c Date: 04 May 05 - 06:52 PM Ok, got Seamus past the five fire hydrants and lord knows how many trees. I'll have a nice cold Chardonay and Seamus will eat anything going. The Cap'n should be here soon so put a couple of lobsters on to cook please and don't forget the melted butter! (I'm looking forward to watching barkeep's assistant trying to remove Alice's butt from the counter - I know who I'd put money on. SINS - you should have let Ed come along too - that would really do it!) |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 04 May 05 - 07:48 PM Better not tell JenEllen it's Korean Pup for sup! ~S~ |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: Amos Date: 04 May 05 - 08:12 PM Or any kind of Angus. He may be ripe, but he ain't that ripe!! Give me some psychic lineament for my weary soul, Barkeep -- something strong in spirits. And a large mug of old brown to wash it down!! Gawd, I hate bureaucracy!!! Didn't this nation used to have a soul???? Don't get me started. Here's to our fair mother, the Fairest of All Mothers, the MOAB, who loves us all equally and leaves her money to me. And some for RR and Stilly and MM and not for Rapaire because he would just spend it on swords and guns. A |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: rumanci Date: 04 May 05 - 08:14 PM Barkeep ? Don't these poor hard workers catering to your every need deserve a name ??? LOL |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: jacqui.c Date: 04 May 05 - 08:29 PM Well, if they would introduce themselves we'd call 'em by name.... or something.... |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: GUEST,Gluon the Duck-Dog Date: 04 May 05 - 08:31 PM QUARK!!!!* *Gluon's entire vocabulary consists of the word "QUARK!!!!", but it can mean many things depending on the tone in which it is spoken. In this case, it means, "Hey! There's a cat on the bar with the same name as my asshole!" |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 04 May 05 - 08:44 PM Oh! The blueberries! I shipped them by UPS Next-Day. Are you sure they're not here? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: jacqui.c Date: 04 May 05 - 08:47 PM Quark was the name of the Ferenghi barman in Deep Space Nine - looking at the bartender I'm beginning to see a resemblance. Just take away the blond wig (it's got to be a wig, surely!)...... |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: rumanci Date: 04 May 05 - 08:48 PM btw as it is the right day here Happy Birthday MOAB may you have many more ......blueberries or no blueberries and I'll have a large Woods please .......cheers Bert ! |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: GUEST,Office of the Space-Time Continuum Police Date: 04 May 05 - 08:59 PM To whom it may concern: It has been called to our attention that the establishment known as the "Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern" is in violation of numerous laws governing the Space-Time Continuum. The noted violations are as follows: 1) Unauthorized use of timewarps to serve blueberries from the 2007 crop of one "Bee-dubya-ell". 2) Unauthorized use of spatial folding, stapling and mutilating apparatus so as to have the establishment's various doors open onto exotic locations. The only locations onto which the Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern's doors are authorized to open are Indianapolis, Toledo (Ohio, not Spain) Detroit and Newark. 3) Failure to have a jello pit on the premises as required by Article 73, Subsection 2376A. 4) Having a band of middle-aged men dressed only in spats and tophats play "Happy Birthday" at extremely loud volume on various Strats and Les Pauls while using every cheesey electric guitar effect ever conceived.* *What? You say you haven't seen any nearly nude guitar-slingers wearing tophats and spats? Hah! Just wait! ________________________________________________________ To whom it may concern: We the undersigned do hereby authorize and condone all sub-space and space-time continium, para-universal and multi-temporal aspects of the psuedo-location known in commonality as the "MudCat Tavern" in this current, its prior and any possible future incarnations. The Galactic Overlord Mentor YWHV The Shambles Mrs. Oscar Gordon (aka the Empress of the Known Universes) Zues et al The Time Lords (including but not limited to) Dr. Who, Dr. Who, Dr. Who, Dr. Who, Dr. Who, Dr. Who, Dr. Who, Dr. Who, Dr. Who
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: SINSULL Date: 04 May 05 - 09:35 PM Alice spies the DogDuck, sniffs, and is instantly "in love" AGAIN. The mailman is on vacation, so any port in a storm. She sidles up, sniffs his butt, ignores the foul mouthed human attempting to dislodge her from the bar, and plops down cuddly in his way. "MEOWWW" she purrs and looks beguilingly into his eyes while side stepping a bar rag and pissing on its owner's hand. "Hi sailor. Looking for a good time?" |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern From: Rapparee Date: 04 May 05 - 09:58 PM He looks over the pile of gifts for Mother, which is growing larger with every passing minute. Turning, he spies the Police notice, walks over, rips it to shreds, and shouts at the top of his voice (which really isn't very loud at the moment) “Forget it, |