What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: AnaAna
Date: 14 Jan 99 - 02:56 AM

NZ has a troupe of female entertainers(singers/actors) called "hens teeth". One of their cocktail pieces is a cooking demonstration (versatile as they are!) The ingredients of course are mixed in the intimate arena of the stage - flour,sugar,baking powder,milk and currants. The icky substance is then carefully inserted into ....a condom, and popped into the onstage microwave. The substance then,somewhat deliciously and magically grows (and whooee! grows) into that well known and much loved English Pudding "spotted dick". It is then of course passed amongst the audience so all can have a wee nibble. Sorry-dont know what brand th

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: BarbaraBarbara
Date: 13 Jan 99 - 11:43 PM

Just poke a little hole in the end with a pin, hey Duane, and the thread will keep propagating?

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Duane D.Duane D.
Date: 13 Jan 99 - 11:23 PM

Let's keep this thread running perpetually for all the new folks who keep coming along.

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: McMusicMcMusic
Date: 13 Jan 99 - 11:17 PM

I use a pre-1880's sewage drain pipe. Not too snug, but it's a devil to handle. But it's all I could find!

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Bill DBill D
Date: 13 Jan 99 - 08:52 PM

It does make me think twice about starting a tongue-in-cheek thread!

One of the reasons I hang out with folkies, and why I majored in Philosophy, is that both groups tend to be interested in and knowlegable about, anything & everything! Folk music, however you view it, does tend to be about what 'folk' do everyday, and thus we have songs about dead cats, baling hay, sailing ships, and...yes...condoms. And it is a fact that the 'saltier' topics and songs have always gotten a lot of attention...jokes and songs are a LOT easier way to approach such topics than are moral diatribes and dry scholarship!

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: MoMo
Date: 13 Jan 99 - 08:48 PM

Well, yeah, in an ideal world, any mention of condoms WILL elicit a "fast-rising response".....!!!

Mo

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Peter T.
Date: 13 Jan 99 - 01:53 PM

It is worth pointing out that this thread has probably the fastest rising contribution rate in the history of the Mudcat. 60 since the 11 of Jan is a record I think. There are others that are larger (over the 100 mark, but they came slower). The Princess Diana thread was pretty fast, but I don't think it competes. I think that is enough social science pornography for one paragraph.

Yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Jan 99 - 01:56 AM

Tina:

I was wondering if anyone was going to mention dental dams!

katlaughing

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Barbara
Date: 13 Jan 99 - 12:53 AM

It is my qualified opinion that whatever brand of condom your dad keeps in his sock drawer is the best kind to drop off the fourth floor fire escape on the kid from the other clique. Proximity to concrete and or rosebushes helps immensely.
Blessings,
Barbara, whose first exposure to a condom was when a water filled one came bouncing merrily down the chapel steps as I was ascending on my way to choir practice (10th grade).

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From:
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 11:28 PM

Condoms? Don't need 'em. I'm a musician. I got rhythm!

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: gargoyle
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 11:18 PM

Despite my love of, dead cat, and gutteral-pig-sound-songs...(or perhaps because of my love of the same) and considering myself somewhat of a "prude" this thread was entered with hesitation and trepidation. However, the nobelist intents to keep the thread's course within the bounds of the "Mudcat Mission" and the "Thread Topic" have elicited the some vocal bursts of hilarity (as a very somber person)that I have sledom experienced in many years of "netting." There are some "classics" here...but Kirs "this may throw up new veiw points" expresses it well.

It is with regret that I morn the, hopfully, transitory/momentary, departure of my dearest, most honorable, gracious, kind and benevolent Mr. B.Seed since this is precisely the type of thread he would have relished.

In the interest of a lyrical tradition:

An old man using a condom
Found he could never get a good bone.
But with a rubber band
It grew simply grand
Now his wife cannot leave it alone.

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Craig
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 11:02 PM

I might as well fess up. I work for a company called APPLIED MEMBRANES. We do testing in our store rooms.

Would this face ;^} lie to you?

Craig

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: alison
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 10:56 PM

Thanks to Max and his mention of Trojan ...... I can now have a better go at trying to understand the lyrics of "Little Red Corvette."

I don't think Femidons are stretchy. (It's been a long time since I've had to "demonstrate" them to a patient...)

But latex gloves make good water bombs!!

Slainte

alison

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Mo
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 10:15 PM

Well, I can't say I've tried it with condoms - but when I was a student several of the guys in my Halls of Residence discovered the joys of filling a plastic supermarket carrier bag full of water and dropping out of the fifth floor window.... it exploded right outside mine, and I thought a bomb had gone off! Put me right off me D H Lawrence I can tell you.....

Mind you, if I was going to do this with a condom, it seems likely that the extra-strong nuthin's-gettin'-through-this-sucker variety would be a better candidate. it doesn't seem the time for the "extra-sensitive" type! I wonder if you can do it with a femidom? Don't think they're as stretchy though... Do you have them stateside? Mo

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Art Thieme
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 09:48 PM

When I was a kid we'd fill a condom with water (not to wash out a used one) and they'd expand and expand and expand and expand until the whole sink was filled with the totally unwieldy HUGE mass of water! It took four of us to grapple with it and get it to the edge of the roof of the 15 story building where I grew up in Chicago. We'd wait intil the guy we wanted to "get" was standing and waiting for the Sheridan Road 151 CTA bus and then we'd let the thing go!! When it did hit the ground (or the guy or whatever) it soaked everything from there to Lake Michigan.

Ah, nostagia!

So which are the best brand for this wonderful passtime?

Art

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Banjeray
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 07:47 PM

Wow!!! Leave for a few days and see what I missed...It appears most all the puns have been spun, so not much left to say except good to see that we can still have fun occassionaly. I'm with the side that says open expression and discussion of whatever the subject, toothpaste, condoms, Aunt Mables home recipes, or anything is healthy. It helps bind whatever community one considers themself a part of.

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: tina
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 07:13 PM

Well, I can't comment on condoms, but if ya want to talk about dental dams....

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Bert
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 04:10 PM

Barbara,

I knew that would get your attention:-)

Bert.

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Peter T.
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 03:52 PM

Dear Sheye, I am shocked to find you at this disgusting site, but glad to see your voice (?) again. Of course I remember the old days, back ages ago, when threads were threads, not these jumped-up, new-fangled things. It takes me back....

Yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: mike cahill
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 02:36 PM

to john in Brisbane, the tune that is sung to (round here at least) is "Rosin the Bow".

There is a condom factory in South Kirkby in Yorkshire England that makes a condom that it sells under the brand name of "JIFFY" and yes the advert suggests that you "come in a JIFFY" (well it's funny in england)

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 01:43 PM

To anyone else who doesn't like the various Mudcat "surveys":

Does this mean Curiousity DOES kill the "Cat"?

To everyone else who's having fun with this one:

I once sold condoms which came in individual matchbook covers to a band in Boston called "Skin". Great advertising packet to hand out at concerts. This was at the height of the AIDS scare, so it was also very PC & "enlightened", besides being a LOT of fun!

Keep it Light and Easy! kat

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Allan S.
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 01:41 PM

As long as were discussing size this should put an end to it . there was a man from dan damiter, whoes organ was of enormous diamater, it wasn't the size that brought tears to their eyes but his rhythim Iambic pentamiter

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Barbara
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 12:29 PM

Geez, Bert, talk about flogging a dead.., oh never mind... does this mean youre going to post a link to your song again?

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Bert
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 11:54 AM

While we're on the subject does anyone have the words to Barry Rabin's song about 'a Roller in a Condom Factory'?

Shey, re: it's what it's filled with that counts. Remember 'size doesn't matter'.

Bert.

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Sheye
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 11:18 AM

It's amazing how we walk criss-cross and wander through so many different ideas. We force each other to explore to thoughts, some of which are outside our comfort zone. One day when we are old or dead, there will be some amazing traditional songs that will have been borne from the cosmos of the 'cat.

Hey Peter, Ya remember our go-rounds from a year plus ago, about some folks wanting to specify thread topics? Exactly right, "don't click..."

Gargoyle, somehow I just can't see myself washing out condoms. Would they go in with the whites? Do they survive the spin cycle? (smiley emoticon thingy)

Art, to answer the question posted, in my best Mae West lure, it ain't so much what the picture of the box looks like, honey, it's what it's filled with that counts.

(I hope all those uncomfortable with this topic have left by now, they may consider me being across the line...)

Peace be with you (or maybe piece???), Sheye

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Philippa
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 09:19 AM

I heard a story about a young man who who was seen coming out of the shopping centre with some dozen multi-packs of Durex (condoms). "You must have a heavy date tonight, Mick", said his friend. "Uh, well, it's like this," Mick admitted 'sheepishly', "I was going to buy a Daniel O'Donnell album, but every time I went up to the counter, I was too embarassed to ask."

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Bert
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 09:19 AM

Joe,

I knew this guy who had a rubber drum.
...But he couldn't find a rubber band to play it in.

Bert.

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Big Mick
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 08:32 AM

I just love this place. See "Annoyed" how appropriate the thread is. We have come to a very good place. This thread has shown that Joe's programming (remember that he is not really human)includes a humor file. I laughed out loud. And Shambles, you are right on the mark. Sometimes I get crabby, I guess we all do, but the last thing I would want is to have us become folk snobs. This thread reminds me to be helpful and not preachy.

And Shambles, you know we are friends, and as a friend I am asking you to teach me to play that condom. I don't care what the hourly rate is!!!! Based on the reaction you got from Mo, I must add this instrument to my arsenal. ***LOL***

Mick

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Mo
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 07:44 AM

Shambles - this "loud percussive bang" of yours - is it accompanied by shouts of "yes! yes!!YEEEEEEESSSSSSS!" by any chance?! Don't knock it - there are many men out there who would kill for this effect. And women too, ooh, be-lieve me! The neighbours are generally less keen on this kind of music though.......! Gives a whole new meaning to Rise Up Singing!! Sorry, sorry sorry!!

Mo

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Joe Offer
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 05:13 AM

Hi, Kris - it's certainly just grand to bring a subject up again and again at the 'Cat. HOWEVER, it's far better to revive the old thread and continue the previous discussion, rather than starting a new thread and scattering the information all over. That way, we build a body of information, rather than repeating what has been said before. Go to the Forum Menu and try a Forum Search ( or click here), and see if there's even been a thread on the subject. If you post a new message to that thread, it will bring the whole thread to the top of the menu.
You can use the Filter on the Forum Menu to do a quick search for names of threads posted within the last year - if you want all the threads for the past year, leave the filter box blank and set the "age" for 365 days (or however long, up to a year)- be prepared to wait, because the list of a year's threads is long. You will see that some thread titles repeat over and over again, so information about certain subjects is scattered all over or hidden in threads with generic titles like "lyrics request" - THAT'S what we're trying to avoid.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Kris
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 04:50 AM

Shambles makes yet another good point! I sometimes get the impression that once there has been a thread on a given subject it is kind of a faux pas to bring the subject up again. But with new people coming along all the time we probably shouldn't worry about it too much. Same subjects may throw up new viewpoints anyway. So - how about digging in your memories and re-visiting some golden oldie subjects, just to counter-balance the lighter-hearted threads.

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 04:31 AM

Joe, After reading some of the earlier comments on this thread, I think that should be "Rubber Banned." catspaw

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 04:20 AM

Alan in Australia had an interesting point. I understand that sheeps' intestines are still popular, but while they're still in the sheep.

Steve

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Joe Offer
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 04:17 AM

Shambles, you gotta work on your technique. A condom works great as the string on my mini gut-bucket. Stretch it right, and it changes tune better than a rubber band. Of course, if we had three or four, we could really have a "rubber" band.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: The Shambles
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 03:44 AM

Of course condoms are O.K. to talk about, here or anywhere else, but they are a bit limited as a musical instrument, all I ever seem to get out of them is one loud percussive bang!

As we all know this thread was not started for the purpose of dicussing condoms but to make a point, it was made and with some humour but can we move on now?

Jenny said some good things and surely we all want eveyone here to feel that they can un-lurk and contribute. If they don't then I suggest that they are in the wrong place. We have to work hard towards a situation where people can feel free to do that, without all that tiresome stuff about if the subject is offline or discussed two years ago or anything else.

Reply to the thread, don't question the poster right to say it. To my mind The Mudcat is an inclusive 'club', without any stated rules that I am aware of and that is why I like it, if it ever becomes a place for the self-chosen few, I for one will not be there.

If you don't like the subject don't contribute, it is as easy as that. The posts about where, why and what we do, were and continue to be well supported (but from now on a little bit more inhibited) and that says it all.

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 01:02 AM

G'day, Hey Bill D, You don't get condoms from a factory, you get 'em from a mine. Hence the song "On The Banks Of The Condom Mine".

Why do they have Roman numerals on the Paris town hall clock? ..... They couldn't use French letters could they.

Cheers, Alan

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: gargoyle
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 12:04 AM

Being a "traditionalist" I prefer "Lambskins." Yes, they ARE from sheep intestions; they are commercially available at the local stores. If your concerns are mearly contraception and not "desease preventrion" they are tops....and they are reusable after washing.

From Junior High Days comes this ditty:

In days of old, when knights were bold,
And rubbers wern't invented
They tied a sock, around their cock
And babies were prevented.

Somehow I get an uneasy feeling that the Mudcat is being used for a college senior's demographic study in "Social Ecoology." Next questions will be dealing with "toothpaste," "detergents," and lengths of anotomical appendiges.

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Jenny
Date: 11 Jan 99 - 11:38 PM

I understand why this thread was started, but Max makes an excellent point. A forum is a group of individuals discussing a common thread. Not every thread is going to be for every person. My thinking is that if a thread doesn't interest one, don't go there. With cyber communications, most often we never see those with whom we are communicating; it's natural to want to know a bit more about one another. There has been a generality of feeling towards folk music mavens for many, many years. The generality is that we turn up our noses at anything that does not relate directly to traditional music, acoustic music, etc., i.e., we are folk music snobs. I know that isn't true, but some of the people visiting the Mudcat site may not. So ... if the threads wander off the the subject of playing/singing folk music, so be it. After all that business with gargoyle, I have been reluctant to do anything more than lurk in the forum and maybe a few others are feeling likewise, which would account for some of the more lighthearted threads. And, Max, the message you sent has to be taken seriously ... thanks for your candor. jenny

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: rich r
Date: 11 Jan 99 - 11:15 PM

This all reminds me of the line in the Tom Paxton song :

Condoms for sale! Condoms to buy!
Yuppies in the sky.

rich r

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Jan 99 - 10:56 PM

"condom-minimum"

....so there was this condom factory in Texas, and when Alaska was admitted to the Union, some Alaskans, who wanted to rub it in about now being the largest of the United States, placed an order for 12 gross of condoms..all to be 10 inches long!

The production manager went to the president of the firm and asked.."So, what do we DO with this order?"....The president thought for a minute and said...."Fill it....mark 'em 'medium'"

sure..those items are one aspect of our folklore..and I know several more jokes..but I suspect they are already on a hundred joke sites...

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From:
Date: 11 Jan 99 - 10:47 PM

I use True North Polar Bear Specials, rated for 45 below.

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Allan S.
Date: 11 Jan 99 - 08:31 PM

Lighten up guys and gals I taught Biology and put in 2 years in the medical corps and saw some interesting infections. that could have been prevented by the use of a condom. while nothing is 100% safe at least most infections can be prevented. THere is some discussion that a virus can pass through latex. THe Sheep cecum [like the addendix] will allow the AIDS virus to pass. THe y are still on the market. I think the brand was 4X As to the joke An american whoes wife has just died goes in to morning and goes in to a store asking for a Capo Nueff meaning a black hat THe french owner thinking of the slang term for condom asks why THe american explains why and the answer is "Ah you Americans so sentimental" Oh well I will put a condom on my Martin If it must be near other Guitars

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: John in Brisbane
Date: 11 Jan 99 - 06:36 PM

If you haven't yet seen one of the marvels of the DT - The Ancient And Old Irish Condom - please check it out. Just noticed that it has a tune. I've only ever heard it recited.

Maybe Joe can do his fancy stuff with the HTML to link the above song. Thanks Joe.

Regards
John

Yer welcome, John. -Joe-

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 11 Jan 99 - 06:18 PM

I've read that before rubber, sheep's intestines were used with a string tied around the end. The article didn't say which end.

Cheers,
Alan

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 11 Jan 99 - 06:16 PM

G'day,
I sometimes wear a capo, but only when I want to practise safe music.

Cheers,
Alan

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Bert
Date: 11 Jan 99 - 04:51 PM

I agree with Max. It sure is a folk topic. There are plenty of jokes and folk tales about condoms and there is at least a handfull of songs about them.
Personally I thought the thread was hilarious and wasn't the least bit surprised to see that Art had started it.
So Annoyed, put your smile back on and search for condom in DT.

As a matter of interest, I wonder how many folksongs there are that can be attributed to someone not using a condom. Songs like 'Blow the candle out', 'The Nutting song' etc..

Bert.

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: bbc
Date: 11 Jan 99 - 04:43 PM

Good for you, Max! If we're going to have sex, let's do it responsibly.

bbc

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Barbara
Date: 11 Jan 99 - 04:31 PM

BIG RUBBER CONDOM
tune(If you wear a red rose)
Helen Thomas(?)
If you wear a condom, a big rubber condom
then I'll wear a great big smile,
Get out that gutta-percha,
It ain't gonna hurt ya,
And stretch it for a mile
(......)
So get out that condom, a big rubber condom,
Come on and make my day
Put on that condom, that big rubber condom,
And we'll go for a roll in the hay!
(all I can remember)

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From:
Date: 11 Jan 99 - 04:00 PM

Folkmusic not much fun any longer? Can't do the "Game of All Fours" in C above High C anymore?

Maybe it's because you just put the first scratch in that Martin D-28 you told us about on the "What Kind of Guitar Do You Play" thread in November. Maybe it's because you used those extra heavy strings you read about on the "What Kind of Strings Do You Use" thread and your 1964 Vega Pete Seeger long neck folded up like Myron Florin's accordion. Maybe it's because you're a 42 year-old diagnostic computer pathologist for a non-profit internet marketing firm making $535,000 a year but you work 26 hours a day and plug into Mudcat on your coffee breaks.

What are you gonna do? Trade in all your nGhardaraha na Ceoltori a Brachandurandandra CDs for Dr B and Da Bad Noose house-rap fusion discs? Not a chance!

Pull yourself out from underneath that snowbank (applies to North Americans living above a line stretched between San Francisco and New York and Brits living North of Spaghetti Junction), wipe that Ultimate 40 Suncreen off your sweaty red nose (applies to Australians currently not holidaymaking in the Blue Mountains) and sign up for Uncle Art's Family Folk Music and Condom Camp (location to be determined by on-line thread).

To secure your place, send $50 (American, Australian, Canadian or Euros accepted) to Art Thieme, c/o Walgreen's Drug Store, Port Authority Bus Terminal, New York, NY, USA. Please include 2 dozen new condoms (of your favorite brand). Art will personally test (possibly with another person) the integrity of each of these sheaths and report on his findings at the "Hi, my Mudcat user name is....?" cocktail party on the first night.

Important: HTML literacy is mandatory for attendance.

Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Max
Date: 11 Jan 99 - 03:25 PM

I use trojan ribbed. I find this a perfectly acceptable conversation. To think that condoms is a dirty idea that kids should not be exposed to is a terrible attitude. My daughter was born in my wife and my senior year of High School. We are a teenage pregnancy. As a parent now, I beleive you should be able to talk about a condom with a straight face, comfortably and not as a dirty idea. You should be able to keep them on your night stand instead of your sock drawer. Your kids should be able to talk to you about it. We cannot deny the amount of sex in our society, the casual attitude towards it today, and the inevitable desire for it. To avoid talking about condoms is to pretend that sex does not exist or cannot hurt a person and a family. A condom is a good thing, and I will always deal with a condom as easily as I deal with a toothbrush, or a comb. Is it appropriate in the threads? Yes, it is life, folk is life, music and frieds and life is what this is all about. Sorry to the annoyed, but I don't see anything wrong with it here. Especially with such fine, open minded people that are the Mudcat.