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First joke thread for 2007
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 10 Feb 07 - 04:18 AM A fire fighter was working on an engine outside the station when he noticed the little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a fire fighters helmet and the wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the fire fighter said with admiration. "Thanks," said the little girl. The fire fighter looked a little closer and noticed the girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little Partner", the fire fighter said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar too, I think you could go faster." The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.... |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 05 Feb 07 - 10:18 PM
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 05 Feb 07 - 10:04 PM If you are having a problem, the entry at 04 Feb 07 - 08:57 AM needs to be viewed in a font such as Roman if the characters on the right hand side do not form a picture.... :-) |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Georgiansilver Date: 05 Feb 07 - 06:41 PM David Beckham arrives for training full of the joys of Spring, laughing and singing. Ferguson asks him why he is so happy. "I have just completed a jigsaw" said David happily "It only took me two weeks and it says 3-5 years on the box" |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Scrump Date: 05 Feb 07 - 03:30 PM Hope this hasn't been on here before, but apologies if so. Posh & Becks were driving through the country when their car broke down. It was raining heavily so they nipped into an old ruined house for shelter while waiting for the breakdown truck. Posh badly needs a p*ss and asks Becks to look for a toilet. He goes off and comes back a few minutes later, by which time she's getting desperate. "I've found a toilet, but I got some bad news, Posh - it ain't got no door". Posh shoots back angrily: "Then how the f**k am I supposed to get in?!" |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Bainbo Date: 05 Feb 07 - 03:13 PM So the first turkey says: "Worrying, isn't, this avian flu?" His pal replies: "Yeah, and knowing my luck, I'll probably get it over Christmas and completely ruin my holiday." (Over on the west side of the Pond, you can substitute "Thanksgiving".) |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 04 Feb 07 - 08:57 AM Is Your Wife For Sale? As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. "America," the husband replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded: "She's not from the States." "Yes I am." said the wife. He looked at her and asked. "Is he your husband?" "Yes." she replied. Turning to the husband, he offered.... .--' |HTML preformat commands added. --JoeClone, 6-Feb-07. |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Georgiansilver Date: 02 Feb 07 - 11:30 AM That joke came from here:- Saint Peter wanted a whole day off, From his work at the pearly gates. To go and play a game of golf, With some of his heavenly mates. "Jesus" he said "Your dad told me, I could have a day of rest. If someone would stand in for me, Could you? It's not a test." "Of course" said Jesus, "willingly, But who would I keep out? Best write a list for me St Pete, In case there's any doubt." The following morning Jesus stood, At the pearly gates for Pete. Sent some away and let some in, The list was near complete. Then Jesus saw an aged man, With long grey hair and beard. Someone He thought he recognised, The feeling was quite wierd. "Come to take your place"? he asked The old man He thought He knew. "I'm searching for my son" said the man, "My search has been long and true" "What did you do on earth old man" Asked Jesus with due haste. "A brilliant carpenter" he said, "I furnished many a place". Jesus looked at the man again, Who he really thought he knew. "How would you know this son"? he asked, As He sought another clue. "That's really easy" the old man said, You'll know him if you meet. He's the only one I've ever seen, with holes in his hands and feet. Jesus became excited now, As any person can. "Father"? Jesus asked him, "Pinnocio"? asked the man!. Mike Hill(May 1994) |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: freda underhill Date: 02 Feb 07 - 08:09 AM One night a blond nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. "My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish," said God. "Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways," said the nun. "There must be something you would have of me," said God. "Well, there is one thing," she said. "Just name it," said God. "It's those blonde jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blonde jokes to stop." "Consider it done," said God. "Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something that I could do just for you." "There is one thing. But it's really small, and not worth your time," said the nun. "Name it. Please," said God. "It's the M&M's," said the blonde nun. "They're so hard to peel." |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: GUEST,Bainbo Date: 02 Feb 07 - 07:01 AM bubblyrat, forgive me, but that doesn't seem to make a lot of sense as it stands. The way I recall it, an old man turns up at the gates of Heaven looking for his son. Jesus, who's doing a shift for St Peter, asks him for a few clues. The old boy says he's a carpenter, and they'd be able to identify his son by the holes in his hands and feet. Jesus flings his arms round him crying: "Father!" The old guy responds: "Pinochio!" |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: bubblyrat Date: 02 Feb 07 - 06:54 AM Hope this isn't on here already. It was told to me by a devout Catholic, so it must be OK. When our Lord died, He ascended into Heaven. It occurred to Him that He ought to report to THE BOSS, so to speak. Then He suddenly realised that, having never actually met God, He wasn't sure who or what to look for! But, gradually, He remembered that God was always portrayed on Earth as being very old, with long white hair & a long white beard. After much searching, Jesus finally found, standing all alone and looking somewhat forlorn, such a white-robed, white-haired, white-bearded figure. He approached tentatively, and tugged at the old man's clothing. "Father? Father, is that you?" He asked. The old man turned, unsteadily, hands outstretched-- "Is that you, Pinnochio?" he said. |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 02 Feb 07 - 06:38 AM This was sent to me by a former colleague..wonder why he's still single! We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below... GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?" BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say: "You're next." I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome since both result in death. RtS |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: bubblyrat Date: 29 Jan 07 - 10:17 AM This one is supposed to be true. During WW2,the woman in charge of the WRNS ( "WAVES " in US ) was determined to show that her girls were capable of "roughing it " and putting up with the same hardships as the men.So she requested permission to send a detail of lady sailors to the remote and inhospitable Naval Base at Scapa Flow, off the North West coast of Scotland. This was refused----several times. Eventually,in desperation, she asked to see the Commander in Chief. As she walked into his office, the C-in-C said " I know why you"re here ,and the answer is NO ! " "But !--" she exclaimed "That"s SO unfair ! " , and,tapping the side of her head with one finger " My girls have got it up here !" " I Don"t care where they"ve got it --" said the Admiral--"My boys will find it,and the answer is NO !" |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: bubblyrat Date: 29 Jan 07 - 10:00 AM One day, a woman in the far south of Ireland hears a knock at her door. She goes to the door, and there's a tramp/hobo standing there. "What is it you're wanting?" she says. "Oh sure and I haven't had any food at all for tree days now, and I'm starving. Could you spare anything, Missus?" "Would you eat anything, now?" says the woman. "I would, that," says the man. "How about yesterday's stew?" says the woman. "Oh! That would be just fine!" says the man. "Well, come back tomorrow then," says the woman! |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: wlisk Date: 28 Jan 07 - 07:35 PM Married for a Night A man and a woman, who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying,"Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married." "Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed. "Good," she replied. "Get your own damn blanket!" After a moment of silence, he farted. |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Flash Company Date: 28 Jan 07 - 09:55 AM From Private Eye:- Here is the Weather Forecast for Iraq.....Sunni in places, Shi-ite in others! FC |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: John Hardly Date: 27 Jan 07 - 09:58 AM Two very old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress. One leaned over and said, "Life is so boring. We never have any fun anymore. For $5, I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid flower show!" You're on!" said the other lady, holding up a $5 bill. As fast as she could, the first little old lady fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked through the front door of the flower show. Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall followed by loud applause. The naked lady burst out through the door surrounded by a cheering crowd. "What happened?" asked her waiting friend. "I won first prize as Best Dried Arrangement, she replied |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: John Hardly Date: 27 Jan 07 - 09:55 AM A young man was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college. While he was walking through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot. There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot. As carefully and as gently as he could he worked the thorn out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. The man never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty years later the man was walking through the zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they were standing at the rail. The large bull elephant stared at him and lifted it's front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times, all the while staring at the man. The man couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him. The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him. Probably wasn't the same elephant. |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: GUEST,Otto Date: 27 Jan 07 - 09:40 AM Two men are walking along a London street when they see a dog licking his own genitalia. "don't you wish you could do that?" says one to the other. "Yes", says the other "but I'm afraid he might try to bite me." |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Cluin Date: 27 Jan 07 - 08:37 AM A wino walked into a bar one day, and started begging for drinks. One of the patrons tells him he'll buy the old sot a drink, but first he has to take a drink from the spittoon over in the corner. The wino is in a bad way, so he takes the guy up on his offer, goes over and picks up the spittoon, raises it to his lips, and starts chugging away. The guy at the bar, who didn't really believe the wino would take him up on his offer, is horrified. "Stop! Stop!" he yells, "I'll buy you a drink now!" But the wino keeps on drinking from the spittoon. Again the guy at the bar calls out, "Stop! Put the spittoon down! I'll buy you the damn drink!" But the wino keeps on drinking. Finally, after about five minutes he stops, and puts the spittoon down. So they guy at the bar says, "Hey, didn't you hear me telling you to stop? Why didn't you stop?" "I couldn't," the wino replies, "it was all one string." |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: autolycus Date: 27 Jan 07 - 03:26 AM This one is from Dilbert. One to another in the office:"I used to be a sheep farmer." other:"That's interesting. How many did you have?". "Don't know really. Every time I started counting them,I fell asleep". Ivor |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: The Walrus Date: 27 Jan 07 - 03:20 AM An old man went to see his Doctor "Doctor, I want you to lower my sex drive!" The doctor looked at him in amazement "Mr Jones, you're 87, your sex drive is all in your head" "Yes" said Jones "I want it lowered about three feet" |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: wlisk Date: 26 Jan 07 - 04:06 PM Ole is a farmer in Minnesota. He is in need of a new milk cow and hears about a nice one for sale over in Soudakota (that would be 'South Dakota' for you non-Scandahoovians out there). He drives to Soudakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow. Ole reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls...the cow farts. Ole is very surprised. He looks at the farmer who is selling the cow, then reaches under the cow to try again. He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again. Milk does come out however, so after some discussion with the cow's current owner, Ole decides to buy the cow and take it home. When he gets back to Minnesota, he calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, "Hey, Sven, come and look at dis here new cow I yust bought. Pull her teat, and see vat happens." Sven reaches under, pulls the teat - and the cow farts Sven looks at Ole and says, "You bought dis here cow in Soudakota, didn't yah?" Ole is very surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his trip. Ole replies, "Yah, dats right. But how did you know?" Sven says, "My wife is from Soudakota." |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Wilfried Schaum Date: 26 Jan 07 - 06:18 AM Sorry, in my post of Jan 25 a line is missing (inserted in bold letters): ... with a hood over my eyes so I cannot see anything, and then they shove me into a narrow tunnel and bang my poor head against a wall until I must vomit. |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: GUEST,Bardan Date: 25 Jan 07 - 10:27 PM what do cunnilingus and the mafia havin common? One slip of the tongue and you're in shit. A preacher and his wife retired to another house, but unfortunately the preacher died a few months later. The wife grieved but eventually got on with her life until the day the postal service messed up. You see a husband had got a job in hawaii and was preparing things for his bride's imminent arrival. The husband's letter had got sent to the wrong house. The preacher's widow was found dead clutching the following letter. My Darling, Well, I had to adjust but I've settled down very well. Everything is ready for your arrival in two weeks. I can't wait to see you again! PS. It sure is hot down here. |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 25 Jan 07 - 07:48 PM Those of you who have survived the era of The Institutional Mission Statement may appreciate this... Nightingale Conant's FREE Online Mission Statement Builder Success or failure as a human being is not a matter of luck, circumstances, fate, or any of the other tiresome old clichés. Those are only excuses. The power to achieve the life of your dreams is in your hands*&* — and the first step toward activating it is identifying the specific goals that will make your dreams real. After all, it's much easier to get what you want out of life when you know where you're going. A mission statement is only a paragraph long, but it has specific, measurable outcomes and a deadline for accomplishing that outcome. It's truly the best way to start your journey to success. And our FREE tool makes it easy for you to put your mission statement together in a simple, step-by-step, five-minute process. Jim Rohn said, "You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight." Creating a mission statement will help you change your direction. In just five minutes from now, you will have made the shift from an ordinary existence to an extraordinary existence. *&* Unfortunately that is often only too true - and we Aussies have a word for them... |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Wilfried Schaum Date: 25 Jan 07 - 08:05 AM One day the penis meets the breasts. P: How do do, you jolly two? Bs: Oh, we are leading a wonderful life. In the morning we get fine ablutions with luke warm water, then we are packed in soft baskets, cradled an dandle around all day, and in the evening when we are unpacked we are fondled and get kisses galore. It is really a wonderful life. And you, dear P.? P: It is a lousy life full of stress and pressure. In the morning I get some ice cold ablutions, then I am twisted into tight trousers, pressed all the day, and when I am finally relieved in the evening, they dress me in a narrow mackintosh, with a hood over my eyes so I cannot see anything, and then they bang my poor head against a wall until I must vomit. |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Naemanson Date: 25 Jan 07 - 03:27 AM Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end? A.) So men can be open minded. Q.) What's the speed limit of sex? A.) 68 because at 69 you have to turn around. Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers? A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear. Q.) What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common? A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed. |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 24 Jan 07 - 02:49 PM People around the world were stunned today by news of the unexpected death of the Energizer Bunny. Autopsy reports have determined that the exact cause of the Bunny's death was severe sexually-induced exhaustion. Someone reversed the polarity of his batteries and he kept coming, and coming, and coming, and coming... |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: HuwG Date: 19 Jan 07 - 10:16 PM This one was inspired by a recent news report in Britain about a drunkard who had to be rescued after collapsing on a railway track (with his head only inches from the live third rail). One night, the Police are called to another such incident, but by the time they arrive the 20:35 express has gone through and the body is missing its head. The sergeant shakes his head and wonders aloud, "How the Hell are we going to identify this one?" "Excuse me, Sarge", says one constable, "but you know those three drunks who cause trouble in town every single night ? Well, I've just heard that two of them are on the High Stret now, and they're going from pub to pub looking for their friend Gary. Perhaps we've got what's left of Gary here." "Worth a try", says the sergeant. "Pull those two drunks in, and take them to the morgue. Let's see if they can identify this." The first alky is taken into the morgue. The sergeant asks, "Sorry if this is distressing for you, but is this the body of your friend Gary ?" The drunk focusses blearily, then says, "I can't tell from this angle. Turn him over, will you." The surprised mortuary assistants turn the body onto its front. "No, I don't think that's him", says the drunk. "OK", says the sergeant. "Send your friend in, see if he does any better." The second drunk lurches into the room. "Is this your friend Gary ?" asks the sergeant again. The drunk says, "I don't know. Turn him over, please". Once again, the assistants turn the headless corpse onto its front. "No, that's not him", says the drunk, emphatically. "OK, sorry to trouble you", says the sergeant. "Before you go, can you tell us what distinguishing mark or feature you were looking for on the back of the body ?". "Sure", says the drunk. "Gary had two rectums, if that's the right name for them." "Yes, that's the correct medical term", says the pathologist. "But are you sure of your facts ? I've never heard of anyone with that condition." "Well, I haven't actually seen them myself", confesses the drunk, "But every time the three of us walked into a pub, someone would say, 'Oh sh*t, here comes Gary with those two arseholes ! '". |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Seaking Date: 19 Jan 07 - 02:05 PM Two guys are sitting in a boat enjoying the fishing and peaceful sunset while sipping on a stubbie when suddenly Bruce says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months." Bill takes a sip out of his stubby and says, "You better think it over mate - women like that are hard to find." |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: GUEST,heric Date: 18 Jan 07 - 02:12 PM An English couple had tried for many years to have a child, and were finally successful. Since they had gotten on in years, they were willing to have several genetic tests done during the pregnancy. At a meeting with the obstetrician, following one of these tests, he sat them down to inform them that their child was German. The doctor said there was nothing to worry about – the child could grow up and lead an entirely normal life. Nothing was to be done but raise him as any other child and enjoy their time with him. And, indeed, after he was born everything was fine. He wore lederhosen and had a bowl cut for a hairstyle, but other than for small peculiarities and habits of that nature, one couldn't guess that there was anything wrong. Except for one nagging concern that grew more worrisome over time. The child never spoke. Of course the parents grew increasingly concerned about his absence of speech. The pediatrican(s) always told them not to worry – You couldn't expect him to be a perfectly normal child, of course, but there was nothing was so terribly wrong that they should upset themselves over it. Years passed. The parents never stopped taking the child for consults, although these diminished in frequency over the years, and the parents accepted their child just as he was. Then one day, at the age of seven, the boy walked out of the kitchen and said: "Mother, this tomato soup is tepid." Both parents stared in dumb-struck amazement. The mother said 'You can talk?" The child responded "of course." "But why have you never spoken for all of these years??" asked the father. The boy simply stated: "Because up until this point everything has been entirely satisfactory." |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Georgiansilver Date: 18 Jan 07 - 02:10 PM Three guys in an elderly persons facility are discussing the past...the 'good old days'. One guy is 70...one 80....and the other 90 yrs old. The seventy year old says "I wish I could go to the toilet and have an uninterrupted flow of urine" ....the eighty year old said "If I could have a wish it would be to have an easy bowel movement as I always have to strain and sometimes the pain of trying really drains me" .....The ninety year old says..." I have never had a problem with urine flow and never had a problem with bowel movements in all my life. I have always had an uninterrupted urine flow at 6.30am precisely every day and a regular bowel movement at 6.35am" ....all went very quiet until the seventy year old said to the ninety year old "Well if you could have one wish, what would you wish for"? .....The ninety year old thought for a minute and said "I would wish that I could wake before 8am in the mornings" |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Georgiansilver Date: 18 Jan 07 - 02:01 PM This guy goes to a wizard and asks him if he can break a curse...the wizard replies that he can break any curse known to man. "Tell me the exact words of the curse" said the wizard "I will then remove it for you". "That's easy" said the man "It was...I now pronounce you man and wife" |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 14 Jan 07 - 07:20 PM Walk proud Dad! she yelled.... :-P |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Georgiansilver Date: 14 Jan 07 - 07:13 PM A very young girl walked into the bathroom when her dad was having a shower and looked at him...."What are those for" she exclaimed ....."Four"!!! said the dad. |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 14 Jan 07 - 06:53 PM gnu & Big Jim from Jackson - Most of the 'joke threads' (which often did not have the word 'joke' in the subject line) have not been put in that Permathread for many years. Which is the reason I started the 'tradition' of naming them thus a few years ago - and I seem to remember there was a certain degree of er,... tension... at the time which nearly made a 'shambles' of the whole thing (and me!)... but that's enough of that! :-) I was certainly surprised to see this one started in this subject line pattern by someone else this year.... :-) as many other posters have continued to start threads containing jokes with random names since then - some of them I cross-referenced into on of the current 'Joke Threads' at the time. The original idea was that searches (or the Subject Line Filter) would easily identify and return a list of threads of the format 'Number' Joke Thread for 'Year'. Robin |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: gnu Date: 14 Jan 07 - 04:52 PM Okay... after much football and beers... otherwise I wi=ouldn't DARE post this joke... it is VERY not PC.... LADIES... do NOT read.... Daddy, what's a vagina? Son, that;s waht your mother has between her legs. Oh... well, what's a c***? Son, that;s the rest of her. Hey! I tyold youse not to read it.... don't PM me, ladies. |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Bert Date: 14 Jan 07 - 12:40 PM ...they constitute an aspect of folk lore... and some of them make you laugh too! |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Big Jim from Jackson Date: 14 Jan 07 - 11:11 AM Thanks, gnu !!!!! Someday I'll learn to find my way around this web site. I'm glad the jokes are in a permanent thread---they constitute an aspect of folk lore that is quite as legitimate as the songs. Both are important to our culture. Thanks again. Big Jim Hickam from Jackson, Missouri |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: gnu Date: 14 Jan 07 - 09:16 AM I must still be asleep. Sorry, Jim. Did you search or did you "filter" the word joke? The filter is just above the list of threads. Set the number of days back as far as you wish. |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: gnu Date: 14 Jan 07 - 09:10 AM YO! Big Jim...... http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=39208 It's a list of all the joke threads..... you didn't look for a Permathread. |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Slag Date: 14 Jan 07 - 02:45 AM Just wait. They'll be around again and they'll be like you never heard 'em before. |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Big Jim from Jackson Date: 13 Jan 07 - 03:15 PM What happened to the rest of the joke threads? These should be made available. I've tried searching for "joke" and other related wording and they wont come up. Also, when you click on this thread, there are no related threads at the top as there are on most topics. |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: jeffp Date: 13 Jan 07 - 03:15 PM Uh-huh |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Georgiansilver Date: 13 Jan 07 - 02:37 PM Or maybe it was.....Oh sod it! |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Georgiansilver Date: 13 Jan 07 - 02:37 PM or was that 1997....ROFLOL. |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: Georgiansilver Date: 13 Jan 07 - 02:35 PM jeffp of course I can cite my source. My memory of what was published in the Guardian newspaper in 1967. I may be getting on in years but no signs of dementia yet. |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: jeffp Date: 13 Jan 07 - 02:03 PM Of course you can cite your source, Georgiansilver. |
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Subject: RE: First joke thread for 2007 From: gnu Date: 13 Jan 07 - 01:48 PM Hey, it's still funny. Like this. My Bro was asked to assemble a task team during an exercise in the 60's in Germany. The job was to assess defense of infiltration and subversive attack on an air base. He chose two men. After successfully entering the base, one man jacked a large snowblower truck and ran it on the edge of a taxiway alongside a hangar housing F-5 Lawndarts armed with nukes. The gravel on the side of the taxiway was "two inch washed stone", just large enough to withstand jet blast. All hands went to the defense of the hangar, thinking it was under heavy machine gun fire, as the glass wall panels near the roof (for light in a power outage) were being smashed to hell by the stones thrown at a great rate of knots from the snowblower. Of course, a THUNDERING noise was also created from stones hitting the side of the metal building. Bro and the second man proceeded to take the Comm-Comm centre (Command and Control) with little effort as everyone was scared shitless about the nukes and the sentries were easily duped when they saw men coming at them in radiation suits screaming, "Get your suits on! Get your suits on!" In Bro's summary report, under recommendations, one item said, "Those who park in glass hangars should not have stonethowers." Of course, that's a bullshit story. Never happened. Who could believe the ramblings of a Canuck Sgt and two Cpls... Acting, Lance, Unpaid? |
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