BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: GUEST,Vladimir the Inhaler
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 12:42 AM

100!

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: freda underhill
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 12:41 AM

Oh hard is the fortune of all womankind
They're always controlled, they're always confined
Controlled by their parents until they're a bride
Then slaves to a vampire the rest of their life..

Oh I am a poor girl, my fortune is sad
I have always been courted by a Vampire called Vlad
He courted me daily by night and by day
And now he's decomposing and going away

My friends never liked him because he's so strange
They say he's a vampire & slightly deranged
I choose who I sing with, my life is my own
And if they don't like him they can leave him alone

Your bats are all hungry, go feed them some blood
Come sit down beside me and digest in the mud
Your chariot needs greasing, your whip's for to mend
Come fly down here by me let's go round the bend

Your sneering's so sleazy, your breath's pretty rank
I'm sorry, its better to be up front & frank,
Your teeth are too pointy, you look like a toff
So fare thee well, darling, it's time to rack off..

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: freda underhill
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 12:29 AM

Freda looked at the dying corpse of the bird. She had no what it was doing in the compost heap out the back of the Woop Woop Hotel, but she knew one thing for sure. This dead bird was foul. it stank, and needed to be buried somewhere very very deep.

She popped her head inside the pub and called out "Micca"!!

Micca came out, shovel in hand. Together they dug a very, very deep hole, a hole so deep that no echo called back when Freda shouted "cooee" down its murky depths.

Micca and Freda used the shovel to send that rotting old creature down to its just reward - rubber codpiece, fluffy lavender bedsocks, neuroses and all.

Then they went inside, sat down, had a drink and listened to a bunch of aussie folkies singing ...

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: freda underhill
Date: 10 Mar 06 - 09:11 AM

as if gathering the forces of a thousand black night breezes, the myriad consciousness that was Vlad whirled from the stars into that space inside his skull - he was back. and his nostrils quivered - he could smell the Risen Goddess, the Mary Ellen Carter, that women of the lily white loins and the spirit like the Goddess Kali.

and a huge moan came out of him, as he lay under the tree, singing..

I dreamed a dream the other night
Lowlands, lowlands, away my John
I saw my love dressed all in white
Lowlands, my lowlands, awaaay..

She came to me at my bedside
Lowlands, lowlands, away my John
Dressed all in white like some tasty bride.
Lowlands, my lowlands, awaaay..

And nestled in her bosom there
Lowlands, lowlands, away my John
A red, red rose my love did wear.
Lowlands, my lowlands, awaaay..

that rose was wet, and warm and sweet
Lowlands, lowlands away my meat
her long black braids
hung o'er my feet
Lowlands, my lowlands, awaaay..

She made no sign, no word she said
And then I knew my love was dead.
Lowlands, my lowlands, awaaay..

She waved her hand, she turned her hips
Lowlands, lowlands away my meat
I wiped saliva from out my lips...
Lowlands, my lowlands, awaaay..

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: freda underhill
Date: 10 Mar 06 - 09:02 AM

As Vlad lay, bat-tered and bruised, his mind seemed to rise out of his body, and perch up in the tree. He could hear a dream-like voice intoning..

"I am Count Vladimir the Inhaler, also known as Mudvig of Catnipia, the Third. I was born in a castle in Lower Catnipia, Transylvania, on Friday the 13th of December, 1763. My mother, Draconia the Seventh, is a wild and powerful woman, as famous in Catnipia for her dragon riding as for her collection of pet bats...

And through the window, a million tiny voices screamed into the night:

You Gothic scream queen Vladimir
You undead Transylvanian scumbag,
Die, damn you, die a thousand dingo deaths and dribble into the toxic sewer of your own venal gizzards..

Magenta watched the claggy rubber corpse is it twitched, and a part of her shicvered, as she remebered that night with the rubber codpiece, fluffy lavender bedsocks, and the massive, curved, Japanese samurai sword..

and from the bottom of the gum tree, a deep and wild voice sang into the night..

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: freda underhill
Date: 10 Mar 06 - 08:50 AM

Magenta, Jennyo, Jack Halyard, Sandra in Sydney, JennyG and the twenty, four-year old preschoolers all ran to the window, and looked out, elbows jabbing and hips wriggling to get a good look. There, under the tree, was an enormous black bird, ehfolded in its vast, rubber-like webbed wings. And on the ends of its skinny legs, were huge, ugle claws, peeking out of a pair of fluffy lavender bed socks.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: freda underhill
Date: 10 Mar 06 - 08:46 AM

..and smashed through the window, flying into the side of a huge gum tree, and crashing soundly to the bottom.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: GUEST,Jack halyard
Date: 10 Mar 06 - 08:22 AM

With a rousing, rending, rattling rendition of John Kanakanaka Tulai-eh, twenty four-year-old pre-schoolers hurled themselves on the supine form of Vlad the inhaler and inserted the outlet of a hand-driven, brake-winch bilge pump into an accessible orifice, thus amplifying the inhaler's inhalations. The space reverberated to the high-register, rock-splitting cadences of little children at their most vindictive, bouncing vigorously on the handles of the pump as bodily fluids dribbled and squirted from a number of Vlad's oulets.

Just as Jack Halyard cried "Belay All", Vlad the Inhaler popped off the end of the Bilge-pump and flew madly round the room like a deflating balloon or a garden hose in overdrive.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: freda underhill
Date: 10 Mar 06 - 07:49 AM

Jennyo's eyes bulged like boiled eggs, and her voice wavered as she looked up to see non other than that pretentious Transylvannian poseur, that vapid, vindictive prediluvian drama queen, Vlad the Inhaler, poised behind Magenta and opening his mouthe to reveal long, white, piercing fangs!

Just as Jennyo emitted a piercing sream, Jack Halyard bellowed at Vlad and the blast of air was so great, it threw Vlad back against the wall, and flattened the wind out of him. Jack H strode purposefully across the room and sat on the comotose Vlad, pulling out his guitar and let rip with "Yes, we have no Osama!!!" as the whole pub joined in in one voice.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: GUEST,natasha smasher
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 12:47 AM

Jennyo's high voice sailed across the plaintive lyrics, while jack Halyard boomed under her like pulsating thunder..

But your names shall still live though like writing in water
When confined to the notes of the tame cockatoo
Each wattle-scrub echo repeats to the other
Your names and each breeze hears me sighing anew
For dumb be my tongue may my heart cease her motion
If the Isle I forget where my first breath I drew
Each affection is warmed with sincerest devotion
For the tie is unbroken on the Plains of Emu...

Hust here, in this little pub in Woop Woop, Magenta felt a sudden pang of deep loneliness, of longing for a land so very far away. She sat and listened to the ebbing song, and did not notice the large black shadow that fell across her feet.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: GUEST,bleeding gums boris
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 12:13 AM

Sandra, Hilda and Giok joined them, and they sat sharing the hot toddy, talking quietly. Jennyo and the musos were engaged in deep conversation with a robust looking bloke called Jack Halyard, (who looked a bit like Karl Marx), and soon they were singing a beautiful old song, "The Plains of Emu", an old convict lament.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: GUEST,amalia clawall
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 11:54 PM

magenta was stunned. Did this really happen? has that man transmogrified himself into an owl, and fluttered out the window?

She gazed out the window, through the trees and the large, pink moon hanging low in the sky. And her thoughts went back to England, to her circle, to the Old Ways. Memories came flowing back like liquid embroidery - the dance, the ritual, and the warm beer. Magenta realised that she hadn't felt like this since that night at the Black Lion, that night when the sinister, sinewy Vlad spoke so softly in her head. It was as if part of him had stayed inside her, and her dream about the old women had somehow smoked his essence out of her. But she still didn't feel quite right, it was as if he was near, somehow trying to re-penetrate her psyche.

Freda wandered across, and brought a silver flask out of her tapestry bag. It had a pattern of leaves and berries on it, and the head was a carved silver stopper, in the shape of a waratah.

"What's up, Magenta", said Freda. "Would you like a toddy?"
and she poured a hot, spicy mixture into a small silver cup.

Magenta sipped, it was strong, spicy and soothing – and she could feel the comforting warmth of Ginger, Fennel, Hops, Cloves and Feverfew trickle around her mouth and tongue, warming her throat and soothing her being.

The taste took her back again, to medieval moments, with Micca, Morty, Pixie and Phot. Where were they all? She should be there, where she belonged. Something inside told her that Phot was undergoing a great task – she held up her cup, and held a little thought of him, wishing him, Pixie and them all the strength and courage to get by.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: GUEST,bleeding gums boris
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 02:12 PM

Freda had been sitting in the corner, sketching while Jacko was tintinabulating with the birds. Amidst a cacophany of trilling, he stood up, climbed on the table, turned to the crowd and said - here's one last bird call before i leave. He opened his mouth, emitted a huge screech - and disappeared.

Freda looked up to see a huge white owl fly out the window, followed by a sea of flapping crimson rosellas, fairy wrens, figbirds and galahs..

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 02:04 PM

It had been a few hours since the strange apparition of the giant black bird had shocked Bartles and Culp into a stony silence, and they were beginning to somewhat regain their usual aplomb when what should appear in the gloom ahead but an abandoned jeep, sitting forlornly on the sand.

"Shut her down!" snapped Morgue. He peered about in all directions in the silence that followed. No sign of the jeep's former occupants anywhere.

"Bartles, check out the jeep. Culp, you and I will take a look around the perimeter."

Bartles grunted and began ransaking the meager contents of the dead jeep. A suitcase of clothing and personal items. An issue of Primate Magazine...

Meanwhile Morgue and Culp had found some tracks, leading due north.

"Two men," said Culp. "No...a man and..."

"A chimp!" snarled Morgan. "I knew it. Their jeep has broken down and they're heading for Woop Woop on foot." He licked his lips. "This is good. We'll run them down and offer them a ride...for a price."

Culp grinned. "When do I get to shoot the fecking chimp?"

"When I say so...and not one moment sooner..." Morgan's words were interrupted by the throaty sound of a jeep revving up!

"What the hell?" Morgan and Culp spun around and were confronted by a blinding flash of automatic fire from the darkness, the heavy beat of a Thompson submachine gun, the famous Chicago Piano. They hit the dirt as the 50 cal slugs whistled over them.

By the time they came up for air, and too late to even squeeze off a shot in return, the jeep, their jeep, had vanished into the darkness.

Morgan swore viciously. They rushed back to the derelict jeep, there to find Bartles lying unconscious with a bump on his head.

Chongo and Jimmy were cruising merrily northward. "We be in Woop Woop by dawn," said Jimmy, grinning ear to ear.

"Good stuff," said Chongo. "Too bad I hadda leave the magazine behind, though. Oh well, Detective Morgan needs a little light readin' material and this'll be a change of pace for him, maybe take that sour look off his ugly face. Now, what the hell would he be doin' in Australia? I sure gotta wonder about that..."

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 01:34 PM

20 miles from Woop Woop the jeep gave a rumble and a gasp, and died. Jimmy and Chongo spent a fruitless half hour trying to get it started again.

"It's no use," said Jimmy finally. "She dead. We have to get parts in Woop Woop if they got them. And maybe they don't."

"So we walk?" Chongo grumbled. He didn't particularly like the idea of walking 20 miles through the Outback. Fortunately, though, night was coming on, so it would be cooler. Sunstroke could kill you deader than Fat Freddy in this country.

They went through the gear quickly, deciding what to take and what to discard. An idea was percolating in Chongo's little ape brain...what about that other jeep that was following them? Hmmm.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: freda underhill
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 11:03 AM

a short, stocky man with an anglo concertino. She watched as he made his way to a seat by the window, and quietly took out his concertina. Slowly, methodically, as he warmed up, the talking slowed, crowds gathered, and soon he was warming up the crowd with "the Springtime it Brings on the Shearing".

Meanwhile Hilda Fish was deep in conversation with the Scot - they were debating the indigenous origins of tartan, and its significance in the development of the Napoleonic Empire, among other things.

Magenta was stunned when the man with the concertina stopped playing, and instead of speaking, emitted a number of whistles and twitters. As he warbled and chirruped, a number of birds came and sat around the window sill, chirping, singing and whistling along. He picked up his concertina and played along with them, weaving a song of crimson rosellas, fairy wrens, figbirds and galahs..

Ah, said Jennyo, Jacko's an expert in understanding the bird calls of the bush. And it seems, they're into bush music too..

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: freda underhill
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:54 AM

..and The dark eyed visitor, without a twitch, rolled into a new song..

a noble whale ship and commander
called the Catalpa, they say
she sailed into Western Australia
and took six poor Fenians away

so come all you screw warders and jailers
remember Perth regatta day
take care of the rest of your Fenians
or the Yankees will steal them away

you kept them in Western Australia
till their hair it began to turn grey
when a Yank from the States of America
came out here and stole them away

now all the Perth boats were a-racing
and making short tacks fot the spot
but the Yankee she tacked into Fremantle
and took the best prize of the lot

so come all you screw warders and jailers
remember Perth regatta day
take care of the rest of your Fenians
or the Yankees will steal them away

the Georgette armed with bold warriors
went out the poor Yanks to arrest
but she hoisted her star-spangled banner
saying you'll not board me i guess

so remember those six Fenians colonial
and sing o'er these few verses with skill
and remember the Yankee that stole them
and the home that they left on the hill

so come all you screw warders and jailers
remember Perth regatta day
take care of the rest of your Fenians
or the Yankees will steal them away..

Magenta's foot was thumping and she found herself singing along. All this music seemed familiar, a strange sense of deja vu was creeping through her, as she looked about the room she felt overwhelmed by the brightness of colours, the shapes, sounds and smells in the room, and as she sang along, the pub door opened and who should enter the room but

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: GUEST,amalia clawall
Date: 22 Feb 06 - 09:50 AM

"Lissen to ím", said Bluey. "'E's a foreigner, widda speech impediment - what's he speaking in? Hazaragi or Tasmanian or something? I wonder what 'e's got in ís guitarcase and is e goina blow us all up?" "Relax" said Jennyo, "He's a Scot, another guinness thanks George."

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Feb 06 - 09:24 AM

Just then a tired old man limped in struggling under the weight of an instrument case, we hobbled up to the bar and said, "Hiv ye got ony McEwan's or mebbes a drappie o' Deuchars Ale, insteed o' thon never endin' bloody ower cauld lagers?" "Strewth mate" said the barman "I didn't understand a word of that" "Bluidy Greek barmen" said the man.
"Well as sure as ah'm the heid o' the Clan McGoolie ah've nivver seen a country like this fur cauld beer."
Just then he spotted two women entering the bar, one with white hair and one with black, it reminded him of a whisky he didn't like, Black and White. The one with the black hair was wearing stilleto heels with jeans, he had never liked this style before but that woman certainly changed his mind.
Och weel he thought time tae get ma instrument oot. Bending down with great difficulty he opened his green Calton case and took out his Martin D28, and started to sing, My Lady's a Wild Flying dove while keeping an eye on the two lovely ladies.............................

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: GUEST,Natasha Smasher
Date: 22 Feb 06 - 09:06 AM

"I've heard that song before,"said a voice by her side, and Magenta looked up to see three women walking in, Jennyo, in a peach coloured crushed velvet shawl, Sandra in Sydney wearing a fine new hat, and Freda, carrying an embroidered bag and her sketchbook and pencils.

"He's singing Ryebuck Shearer, but he's changed the words". Jennyo ordered a guinness, and wandered across to check out this long and lanky lagerphone lout.

"Where's JennyG," said Pam? "She's at her skiing lessons - she & himself are off to Alaska to find a few penguin eggs." Sandra ordered a soda water, and joined Jennyo to have a chat with aussiebloke. Someone turned the jukebox on... It was the Atlantics.. their guitars screaming their way through Bombora!


Magenta listened as the music throbbed and crowds of men swarmed about her.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: GUEST,bleeding gums boris
Date: 22 Feb 06 - 08:54 AM

aussiebloke and his mate were performing in their band "Murphy & friends". He's been socking out a few old favourites, "Ryebuck Shearer", "Albion Shore" and the Red-backwaltz. When in walks these two sheilas - one long & skinny & chin up in the air, the other one round and smooth and soft. He moved into his old standard, "The Berrima Bride", always a good one with the ladies. They stride in, the air in the pub electric as these old guys see women for the first time in years. Chinup goes to the counter and orders a glass of champagne, thanks, and one for my friend, and aussie bloke is thumping on his lagerphone, bellowing the Berrima Bride into the chattering crowd...

"..and if I don't win the woman before i go,
my whips and spurs in the river I'll throw
and I'll never make a damper or tan another hide
til I've over me leg with the berrima Bride.."

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: freda underhill
Date: 22 Feb 06 - 08:23 AM

"Hey space-case - snap to it!" Magenta looked up to see Hilda, polished and squeaky clean, with her wild black hair shining and flying about like a night sky full of stars. Hilda was wearing a 50s linen dress, chains of beads, earrings, and some ceiling high stilettos. "Jump in the bath and make yourself decent - we're up for a night on the town!"

As she lay beneath the foaming lavender bubbles, Magenta smiled to herself. memories started flooding back, of banjos, of Simon and his crazy stories, and of a man called Micca, with his beetle eyebrows and wicked grin. It was as if she was remembering, another time, another place. Oak trees, a crowded house, a circle of women, and.. a black lion?? She gazed into the pattern of the soap suds and was amazed to see the sign of a pentagon forming in the bubbles.

What sort of a place is this she thought? and if I'm finding my old self again, who the hell am I?

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 May 05 - 07:58 PM

Detective Morgan, Bartles, and Culp had been barreling along for 3 hours beneath a torrid sun, through arid yet magnificent terrain, dotted with ancient rocks and little groups of tenacious trees of exotic sorts. It was a tour guide's paradise, but the three were immune to its charms. Culp was getting restless. He had seen nothing to shoot at all morning. Then he saw the bird...huge, black, of a type unknown.

"Wot the hell is that?" he said, nudging Bartles, who was driving.

Bartles' eyes opened a little wider than usual. "Bloody hell!" he remarked. "Damned if I know. What an ugly bastard."

"A dead bastard," growled Culp. "Stop the jeep."

Bartles hit the brakes and they did a little skid, raising a big cloud of dust.

"What the hell---" Morgan looked up from his map of the Outback, as Culp stepped quickly out of the jeep, raised "Margaret" to his shoulder, sighted, and squeezed off six shots in rapid succession. The bird, which was flying quite high, was clearly struck by at least three bullets, as it veered suddenly in flight, but it recovered instantly, and did a swift turn, giving them the once over.

"Bloody---!" muttered Culp. He fired again, and again. He could sense the bird, if bird it was, looking straight down into his eyes from what seemed an impossibly remote and cold distance. It was like looking down a telescope into a black hole at the other end of the galaxy with a couple of burning red eyes at the center of it, and he had the peculiar sensation that he was falling, falling inevitably into that hole. His fingers froze on the trigger and stock, and the knuckles whitened. He barely noticed Morgan pulling the barrel down and glaring at him.

The bird made a pass over them at a fairly low altitude. It was quite large, black as pitch, wings like a huge bat crossed with a raven.

Bartles stood openmouthed and said something unintelligible. Morgan let go of Culp's rifle, reached for his shoulder holster, thought better of it.

The bird swooped past, showing not a mark or a sign of injury. It circled them three times. Morgan could feel his pulse beating in his temples.

Something like a low chuckle rippled remotely through the heat waves, and the bird turned away, back onto its original heading, giving them not a backward glance.

"Jesus Christ," said Culp.

"I didn't think you were a believer," said Morgan sarcastically. "Now put that damned rifle away. I told you. No recreational shooting on the job, and NO stopping unless I say! Bartles, get back behind the wheel and DRIVE. And keep your mouth shut."

Bartles put the jeep in gear like a man in a trance, and Culp sat beside him mute.

Morgan watched the bird going north. The same way they were going. He remembered scoffing at Chongo back in Chicago. No such thing as vampires. Never was, never would be. Anybody believe in that, he's a sap. Well, there's a first time for everything. That Fresnelli guy, the blood was drained out of him. And then the body just disappeared. You had to wonder about a thing like that.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: freda underhill
Date: 10 May 05 - 10:03 AM

Simon was squinting into the horizon. He and Micca had left Sydney two days ago, driving west in Simons muscular old jeep. Micca had looked into his crystal balls, (the original ones were worn out, some years ago, and they had formed two misty words ... Woop Woop.

Simon had been playing a number of old tapes, recordings of many a drunken session from the 60s. This had been a long trip and he was buggered. Micca had been explaining the ins and uts of Nostrilsarmpits, the medieval visionary. But the only vision that Simon could see was that puff of dust ahead of them on the road.

And a strange large bird in the sky, black, flapping its huge, batlike wings..

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 May 05 - 09:37 AM

Jimmy was staring into the fire with that faraway look he got sometimes.

"Woop Woop," he said.

"Whaddya mean, 'woop woop'?" said Chongo. "I know what 'woop woop' means when a chimp says it, but in your case I ain't sure..."

"Your Magenta, she is in Woop Woop," replied Jimmy.

Chongo frowned. Must be some weird Aussie expression. "Is that good or bad?"

"I don't know," said Jimmy. "But I think it's good. She is soaking her feet and enjoying herself."

"No kiddin'? So what do we do now? Do you know where she is?"

"I told you. Woop Woop."

"Woop Woop is a place?"

"Yes, a very small place. It's 3 hours north from here."

"Well, why didn't ya say so? Let's get movin'!" Chongo started gathering up their gear.

In two minutes flat they were heading north at a good clip, leaving a big dust cloud behind them.

It didn't take Chongo too long to notice that there was a similar dust cloud following them, a few miles back. Interesting.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: freda underhill
Date: 04 May 05 - 10:06 AM

Magenta sat quietly, sipping her cup of tea. Her feet were soaking in a bucket of warm water, tea tree oil and lavender oil.She looked across at the wise, shimmering horizon, like a huge blue bowl - with orange streaks flaming around the rim.

She looked forward to a good soak in the bath, but right now, she was enjoying the peace. She tried to remember what had happened with those old women, the smoke, the tree. Hilda had explained it was a dream, that her experiences were her own, and did not reflect the culture of those women in any way.

But Magenta felt different. She felt as if she had been acting like a puppet, empty, like a piece of cardboard, and now things were different. She felt that a great load had been lifted from her back.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: freda underhill
Date: 04 May 05 - 08:27 AM

screeeech. They pulled up outside an old stone pub with a verandah out the front. As they got out of the car, Magenta and Hilda looked at each other. They were both covered in red ochre, from top to toe, coloured by the wind, the sunset, and that loong road.

Under the verandah sat several men, each with an instrument. Harmonica, banjo, ukelele, spoons. One old bloke was singing "Four little Johnny Cakes" in a rhythmic, earthy voice. A sign on the front of the pub said, "Bushwacker Hotel".

The girls strode confidently into the bar, two beautiful women, both tall, with long auburn hair (from the desert dust - a shower will return it to its original raven sheen), one curvaceous and venusian, the other slim, muscular, with long, long legs.

Hilda strode forward and spoke to the barman, a world weary man with a sun ravaged red face and a grey ponytail.

"Gdday. Dya have a room for two? With a bath?"

A smile crossed his battered face. He grabbed the keys to No.13 and tossed them at the girls. "That'll be $15 a night, best room in the house".

They raced out the back to an old converted barn - comfortable beds, linen sheets, a painting of flannel flowers on the wall. Magenta sat on the old cane rocking chair on the verandah, while Hilda plunged into a huge old bath.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: freda underhill
Date: 29 Apr 05 - 08:51 AM

They'd been driving for two days and Magenta's bum was hurting. being stuck in this car was better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick, but, Magenta was getting restless. Hilda and she had had two days of jabbering on - they had talked about every possible moment in time each had ever experienced. The sun was blindingly hot overhead, the wind and red dust had turned their hair a glorious shade of auburn. Ahead on the horizon, they could see a shimmering light brown mass of dust - a township ahead!


as they hurtled closer, they came to a wonky, peeling old road sign on the side of the road. It pointed straight ahead and said:

WOOP WOOP.

Hilda grinned. time to get the toes dancing, the blood boiling. Thjey were hitting the pub, checking out the scene.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: Leadfingers
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 12:35 PM

I was wondering what was happening with magenta and Chongo and Vlad

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: freda underhill
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 10:28 AM

Vlad, meanwhile, was feeling a little tetchy. He was hanging out in Erskineville, checking out the scene, and waiting, waiting for Magenta to come home to his wide, welcoming







wings. He wandered up to newtown occasionally - liked to check out the Goths walking their ferrets on a lead, (ferrets could be handy at a party) and to pick up a new rubber codpiece, or a little mince, or something. Little did he know that Micca was close by, with Rhymin Simon, and that they were plotting, plotting his very doom.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: freda underhill
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 10:22 AM

You know Hilda, (said Magenta) go west is all very well, but Sydney is on the east coast.

Yeh, Hilda thought, lets change the CD - AND the direction. She slowed down, did a uee, and there they were, heading east, lstening to a CD of the Minglewood Mudcats - starring the brilliant Lol Osbourne performing his orginal hit, "friendly fire".
"friendly fire" - they sang along, as they flashed through the ochre sunset, into the star covered night.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Mar 05 - 07:29 PM

Bartles was reading a well-thumbed Steven King novel, his favorite way of winding down after a hard day on the trail. Every now and then he chuckled appreciatively at some particularly grisly passage.

Culp was oiling his rifle. That was his favorite way of winding down when it got too dark to shoot things. He glared at Bartles. "Why do you read that shit, mate? It's bloody stupid, if you ask me."

"And who asked you?" retorted Bartles, "If you was to read a bit it might broaden your bloomin' horizons. Right now they're about as narrow as the road to bloody salvation."

"Yeah, roight. And wot would you know about that?" responded Culp, spitting into the fire. "The only road you ever travelled on was the road to flamin' perdition."

Bartles sneered. "Roight beside you, mate. Roight beside you..."

Detective Morgan ignored them. This was much the way they carried on every night, and it was of no importance. Just the usual bonehead macho routine, but it did get annoying. He comforted himself with the thought that he could shoot them both after the job was done, depending on how good a mood he was in at the time. It would definitely be doing Australia a good turn if he did.

"We're almost to Yaraka," he said, studying the map. "It looks like a small place."

"Damn roight, it's small," said Bartles. "Loik a bleedin' flyspeck."

"Well, we'll stock up on water there," said Morgan. "I got a feeling we're getting close to the chimp. From now on, no lights on after dark."

Bartles shrugged. "Fine with me, boss. It ain't roight, a chimp drivin' around loik a man in Australia. Not natural. We'll run the bastard down. Depend on it."

"Yes, but first we just follow him," said Morgan, lighting his pipe. "So the point is...don't let the chimp know we're around...until we're ready."

"And when we are," said Culp, "Margaret does the job." He patted the rifle affectionately. It was named after Maggie Thatcher, and had been responsible for the deaths of hundreds of lifeforms, but never yet a chimp. Culp meant to change that.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: GUEST,n. smasher
Date: 12 Mar 05 - 07:09 PM

You know, I'm getting bloody tired of this road, said Magenta.. where the hell are we?

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: GUEST,bg boris
Date: 12 Mar 05 - 07:07 PM

it had been two days of driving, and Magenta and Hilda were roaring ahead, listening to everything from kd laing to andy irvine...

Never tire of the road....
Never tire of the rolling wheel
Never tire of the ways of the world
Way out yonder is a-calling me
And the dark road leads me onwards
And the highway, that's my code
And the lonesome voice that I heard said
Never tire of the road

I was just a small town country boy
When I left that country town
Route 66 to the Westward
And hopped an old freight down
California here I come
By the side door Pullman and the sunburnt thumb
And they called us Okies, lowdown bums
And the police on us frowned

California to the New York Island
Me and my guitar
And we played in many a hobo jungle
Many a skid row bar
Standing out in the wind and the rain
That lonesome whistle is a sweet refrain
When you are waiting for some old freight train
That carries an empty car.

Don't let them ever fool you
Or take you by surprise
That dirty smell of a politician
And the man with the greed in his eyes
One big union, that's our plan
And the IWW"s your only man
The flames of discontent we'll fan
For the cause that never die

Never tire of the road....
Never tire of the rolling wheel
Never tire of the ways of the world
Way out yonder is a-calling me
And the dark road leads me onwards
And the highway, that's my code
And the lonesome voice that I heard said
Never tire of the road......

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: GUEST,bleeding gums boris
Date: 12 Mar 05 - 06:53 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 12 Mar 05 - 06:32 PM

I always make it a point to buy a coupla good guide books when I'm in a new place. It helps. But guide books will not tell you everything about a place. You also gotta have a good measure of jungle instinct on yer side. Fortunately, my instincts ain't dwindled since I left the Old Country (Africa). I can always tell when somethin' is creepin' up (or down) on me. I had now made the acquaintance of some nasty little critters that weren't in any of the guide books. They had a lotta nerve droppin' outta trees and tryin' to get the drop on a guy that lives in trees (when he's roughin' it.

I did the usual reconaissance from the top of the fig tree I had cleared out, and I noticed one thing...a set of headlights. There was another jeep away back on the trail where we had come from, goin' northwest. I kinda looked like they might be followin' our trail to me.

I figured to tell Jimmy about it when he came back. He was out rustlin' up some fresh food. Man, I could sure use a good Chicago hotdog or two right now. The mangos had run out.

I could hear the nastly little whatchamcallums twitterin' and bithchin' over in the other fig trees, but I figured they would keep their distance now.

After awhile the headlights turned out. They must be stoppin' to camp. Odd that they would keep drivin' after dark anyway in this country. One thing for sure, it was not Magenta. Not behind us. She hadda be up ahead somewhere.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 12 Mar 05 - 06:04 PM

It has been many nights since I last saw Yhi. I have traveled alone, unmolested across the outback. Perhaps that is reason enough to believe that I'm not alone.

I finally caught up with the chimpanzee last night. He had cast off his trench coat, rolled up his sleeves, and untied his tie. I wondered for a moment at this sight but decided it was no stranger than an old man turned into a vampire and disguised as a dingo.

I was about to continue my trek when I noticed that it was an Australian Fig that the chimp was reclining on with his fedora over his eyes. Sure enough a Yara-ma-yah-who was steadily descending the tree towards the chimp.

Sorry? You've never heard of a Yara-ma-yah-who? Well, the yara-ma-yha-who is a not so mythological critter that looks like a little red man. They've got little sucker cups on the end of their fingers. They reside in fig trees and drop on anyone who happens to sit under one. They suck the life force from their victim like some kind of vampire and then devour them. Strangely enough they regurgitate their victim a little shorter but otherwise unharmed. If the victim is dumb enough to repeat the experience, over time they themselves will become a Yara-ma-yha-who.

I began to leap towards the camp but checked myself at the last moment as the Yara-ma-yha-who reached down to grab the chimp. The chimp suddenly grabbed the Yara-ma-yha-who and held him out at arms length getting a good look at it, Having satisfied his curiosity he stood up and swung the snarling Yara-ma-yha-who head first into the fig tree a couple of times. He then unceremoniously stuck his boot up the Yara-ma-yha-who's ass sending him flying into the next tree over. There was an immediate uproar from the next tree as Yara-ma-yha-whos tend to be territorial with only a few living in each tree. The commotion settled down after a moment and it looked like the show was over. Not so. The chimp looked like he was going to go back to sleep but apparently he thought better of it. The chimp took off his tie and shirt and leaped up into the tree. With alot of rustling and shaking of tree boughs two more Yara-ma-yha-who came shooting out of the tree and into the other. The commotion as greater this time but again settled down pretty quickly. Apparently the owners of the other tree had seen what the chimp had done and weren't about to leave the tree and the new occupants weren't about to try to retake their tree. The chimp settled back down with a smug grin on his face.

I chuckled to myself. They didn't need my help on this one. I turned to continue my trek but suddenly found I had no beacon to follow. The only explanation I can think of is that the girl and her friend must have gone on a dreamtime walk-about. With the car tracks and scent dwindling I guess I won't have much of a trail to follow oh well. Life ain't easy.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 05 Mar 05 - 08:44 PM

I've been thinking alot over the last few days.
Maybe I've been going about this in the wrong way.

For years now I've been chasing Vlad alone using the nazi gold and jewels my parter uncovered during our mission to Australia. Always alone for fear of getting someone else killed. He's been my personal vendetta for so long now I'm not even sure what year this is. And look what it's gotten me. Dead, or rather undead and now I realise that I didn't even bother to think about what I'd do after killing him.

I can still feel him out there. I'm sure I have the strength to go one on one with him. But I still don't know if I can destroy him. Maybe it's time to form some alliances. It took me awhile, maybe it was the dingo blood still flowing, but I finally put two and two together. I never really thought about it but there has to be some truth behind these legends and myths or else why would the government have been so edgy about Hitler getting his hands on the information. And after the other night I know for sure that some myths are just long forgotten truths.

Yhi! If you're willing, I'm ready for some help. Vlad is still out there and he's got to be stopped. I've never had a female partner before let alone an ancient Autralian godess. But if you're willing I'm yours. Together we'll stop him. Maybe then I can think about my future, maybe it's right here with you.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 18 Feb 05 - 11:46 PM

MIles down the moonlit road Fresnelli loped along. In the night surrounding him he began to feel eyes upon him. From the fig trees he felt a glare of hatred follow him. From the side of the road a beautiful rainbow colored serpent gave him a knowing glance. The night was full of eyes and he began to worry and wish the he wasn't so alone.

Suddenly from the bush another dingo joined him on the road. Smaller than he but somehow faster, a laughing tongue hanging from her mouth as she swept past him. Teasingly she led him along just out of reach. Fresnelli forgot for the moment who he was, what he was, why he was even here. Without care he let go of the now and flew in pursuit of the temptress before him. The wind tore around him and the miles of moonlit road disappeared under his paws.

At the first hint of dawn the female dingo left the road and led Fresnelli to a burrow near a billibong. He marvelled for a moment for he had not thought this far and with the daybreak he surely would have been caught out and been consumed by the sunlight. In the darkness the female dingo turned and nuzzled him. It seemed that although the night was over there were other things yet to do.

As the twilight stole over the outback Fresnelli awoke, looking around for his companion only to find himslef once more alone. He yearned for her and was surprised that he should feel so powerfully for something, for someone he corrected himself, not even of his own species. He wandered out to the billibong looking for a drink only to see her face in the water. He looked up and around, glancing up to see the thin clouds high above. Just his imagination he thought.

As he was drinking he felt silvery laughter in his head.
"We shall meet again my handsome man, remember me, remember Yhi."

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Feb 05 - 11:35 PM

Chongo and Jimmy had a small campfire going. They had parked the jeep under some exotic-looking trees. Chongo intended to examine them more closely in the morning by climbing the tallest one and getting a good look around.

Jimmy had brewed some gloriously strong coffee, heavily flavoured with brown sugar. Chongo sipped it with great satisfaction.

"Mighty good brew," he remarked amiably. "It's amazin' how this stuff has gone all over the world. How long you people been drinkin' it?"

"A long time," said Jimmy. "It's one of the good things the white people brought when they took over here."

"Yeah." said Chongo. "There's always a few good things like that. My grandad never knew about coffee or fried eggs or newspapers or nothin' like that, but he knew all about jungle stuff. He could find food in places where a white man would starve to death. It wasn't cooked food, though. It was bugs and roots and stuff. Pretty healthy, actually."

Jimmy smiled, showing teeth that shone shockingly white in his dark face. "So your Grandad was a forest ape?"

"Yeah," said Chongo. "There was a lot more forest back then in central Africa. It's disappearin' fast now, and so are my people. They're gettin' wiped out. Some might call it 'progress'. I call it organized mass murder."

"So you moved in with the whites, same as I did," commented Jimmy. "You figured it was the best way to go."

"Yeah, I did." Chongo looked thoughtful. "The fact is, I was curious. I wanted to see if those big bwanas were really as all-powerful and superhuman and smart like they thought they was. I wanted to see if a chimp could learn to drive a car, add and subtract, talk on a telephone, swing an ax, and fire a gun. I caught a boat to the USA as soon as I could, and just learned things on the street. I learned fast. You had to learn fast if you wanted to make it."

"What's it like there?" asked Jimmy softly. "Is it like in the movies? Big cars and gangsters and airplanes and beautiful blonde women with bright red lips?"

Chongo laughed. "It is and it ain't. For those that got money it is all that and more. For those that don't...it's long hours, lousy jobs or no jobs at all, and a future that ain't too pretty."

"Just like here," said Jimmy.

"Yeah, only a whole lot more people and less open land. I'm in Chicago. You ain't seen a city like that. Like a giant anthill. It's beautiful and horrifyin' all at the same time. I like it. Chicago is home to me."

"Have you been to New York?"

"Yeah. Five years there. I was there when Kong cashed in his chips. Every ape knows exactly where he was on the day Kong died and when he first heard the news."

Jimmy's eyes went wide. "You mean King Kong, the biggest ape that ever lived!"

"The same," said Chongo. "He's gone now, but he'll always be the King. Elvis is nothin' next to Kong."

Jimmy lit up a smoke, and so did Chongo. They smoked for a bit in silence. The sky was very dark now, but lit by a million brilliant stars. A heavenly cathedral.

"Do you hate the white men?" asked Jimmy.

"That depends," said Chongo. "I don't hate all of 'em. I even like some of 'em. I could stand havin' a few less of them in charge of everything for a change. The fact is, there ain't no use hatin' what can't be changed. It just eats you up inside, and it don't do no one no good."

Jimmy nodded. "You speak wisely, brother." He yawned and stretched. "Tomorrow we reach the Darling River. Big river. I find a good crossing place. I think your Magenta she gone that way."

"Okay," said Chongo. "You're the man. Lead on." He had learned to trust Jimmy's judgement when it came to tracking. This was his country, and he knew it well.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 18 Feb 05 - 10:50 PM

As the sun set the sky glowed red in the west, shades of Uluru reaching across the horizon before Fresnelli. He stretched his wings through the twilight and launched out across the outback in pursuit of who or what he didn't know.

After a few miles in the heavy air Fresnelli began to tire. He landed in a tree beside the road to rest and think. Too many miles between us for a small bat to handle. Perhaps another shape. He'd heard that vampires could take on more than one shape. He'd read the books and seen the movies, call it research on the enemy. There must be some grain of truth to them.

A rat wouldn't be too far fetched. Pretty close to a bat really. But that would only complicate the traveling problem. A wolf! That would do it. A steady lope would cover many miles of outback. Fresnelli formed a picture of a wolf in his mind and began to concentrate on it. Long muzzle, silvery heavy fur (a bit inconvenient in these hot climes but that was the price), a long bushy tail...

A brief moment of pain and he was a wolf. Fresnelli looked at bent and looked at himself. In the moonlight he could see that his coat was not thick at all although the tail was right. The muzzle seemed a bit shorter than it should be. Fresnelli was left with only one conclusion. Something about dreamtime must affect supernatural abilities. He'd gone past the wolf in evolutionary form and landed on the somewhat more domesticated Dingo. "When in Rome", he thought and loped on off down the road.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 11:05 PM

It had taken a month for Detective Cass Morgan, better known as "Morgue" on the street, to piece together the few available shreds of information about Vito Fresnelli's connection in Australia. This was something big. Something big enough to set a man up in luxury for the rest of his life...if he kept it to himself. Morgue knew it in his gut. He could taste it. He shared this perception with no one. As far as the other cops were concerned, the trail had gone stone cold. The mysterious disappearance of Fresnelli's corpse looked to be just one of those things that would never be solved, and what did it matter anyway? With the North Side Gorillas and the South Side Baboons drifting day by day into a new and bloody turf war, there were more pressing things to worry about in Chicago.

On February 15th Morgan asked for some time off, and he got it. A month off duty. Rest and relaxation. That's what they figured. Well, others could rest. Others who had no brains or ambition. Morgue was on his way to Australia. To the big payoff. And one thing was sure...he would find that lousy chimp shamus, Chongo, over there when he got there. Chongo wasn't in Chicago, so he was for certain in Australia. Morgue figured there was no time to waste. He wasn't going to let some damn, filthy, fleabitten ape with delusions of human status snatch a fortune out from under his nose. No sir. If the ape got in the way, the ape would die. And good riddance. Morgan would be doing a favour to society, he figured.

It was February 17th when Morgue landed in Sydney. By the 18th he had gleaned information that confirmed that the ape had headed inland in a jeep with an aboriginal guide named Jimmy. It had something to do with some woman called Magenta, a good looking dame. Chongo was looking for her for some reason. She had to be Fresnelli's agent in Australia. So far so good. Morgue found a couple of likely plug-uglies in need of work, named Bartles and Culp, with plenty of outback experience. They were men with little or no scruples, and not a whole lot of imagination either. They would do just fine. They loaded up the jeep with enough firepower and supplies to deal with a month in the Australian desert and anything they might encounter.

"Wot are we goin' after, mate?" asked Bartles, his coarse face sweating in the sun. Culp stood by, cradling a high-powered rifle. He was squinting down the sights speculatively, hoping to find something he could kill. Maybe a passing wallaby or dingo...

"You'll see," said Morgue. "Just find me a jeep with a black man and a chimpanzee. That shouldn't be too hard. They're out there somewhere."

"When we do, can I kill the chimp?" inquired Culp. "I've never shot a chimp yet."

"Be my guest," said Morgue, "but the chimp doesn't get it till I give the word. We follow the chimp. He leads us to where 'X' marks the spot. Then you kill the chimp. Not one moment sooner."

"It's your quid," said Culp, grinning mirthlessly. He squeezed off a shot and picked off an unfortunate kookaburra that had landed on a nearby tree. The bird gave a weird cry and fell in a messy heap.

"And save your damned ammunition for when it's needed!" snapped Detective Morgan. Culp was thinking about making a smart remark back, but changed his mind when he saw the look in Morgan's cold grey-blue eyes. This was not a man to mess with. And he was paying the bills.

They hit the trail at 5 AM the next day, heading inland. Fast. They would find the chimp. A piece of cake, that's what it was. Not a bad way to earn a month's pay, even if the management was less than ideal. It would be fun to shoot a chimp, thought Culp. He was sick of potting wallabies and 'roos.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 09:41 PM

Fresnelli awoke with a start.
Something pink and noisy was headed down the path towards his tree.
A Holden playing the Village People, what in the hell was the world coming to? But wait, there was a strong pull as the car swept past. Fresnelli was almost pulled from the tree into the sunlight. With singed wingtips he pulled himself back into his hole.

Fresnelli thought for a moment. This wasn't who he had come after here. It wasn't Vlad. But something told him that whoever, or whatever was in that holden would lead him right to him.

The tug didn't seem to be slackening as the car put distance between itself and the tree. It was going to be a long day of sleep before he could follow.

Just as he was drifting back ito sleep he was jolted back to alertness. This time he just couldn't believe his eyes. A man and a chimpanzee in a jeep went tearing past the tree.

Fresnelli rubbed his eyes and looked again. Still there.
"It wouldn't be so bad, he thought, but was the chimp really wearing a a fedora and a trench coat?"

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 04:15 PM

Chongo pricked up his ears. "What the hell is...Jimmy! Stop the jeep!"

Jimmy had noticed it too. The faintest whisper of distant music, pounding to what was clearly a disco beat.

"It's the...Village People!" exclaimed Jimmy and Chongo simultaneously.

"You know about the Village People?" said Chongo. "I wouldn't have expected that."

"You be surprised what I know," remarked Jimmy.

The distant sound faded and trailed off, somewhere to the north across the outback.

"Let's check it out," said Chongo. Jimmy put her in gear.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: GUEST,Bleeding gums boris
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 08:31 AM

As Hilda revved up the old engine, Magenta was lost for words... Hilda turned on the radio, and out blasted the Village People...

Together we will go our way, together we will leave some day.

Together your hand in my hand, together we will make the plans.

Together we will fly so high, together tell our friends goodbye.

Together we wills tart life new, together this is what we'll do.

Go west, life is peaceful there.

Go west, lots of open air.

Go west, to begin life new

Go west, this is what we'll do.

Go west, sun in winter time.

Go west, we will do just fine.

Go west, where the skies are blue.

Go west, this and more we'll do (The Village People).


Hey, Hilda, said Magenta nervously, are we going west? I've gotta get back to Sydney.

No probs, said Hilda, we'll get there honey. Just petrol, water and patience.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: GUEST,Bleeding gums boris
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 08:28 AM

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: GUEST,Bleeding gums boris
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 08:23 AM

Magenta could feel something hot on her face. She opened her eyes and looked up, to see a slender white gum tree reaching across her, dangling its grey green leaves down towards her. The branches reached up towards the vast blue sky, and the warmth was the heat of a hot morning sun. Magenta sat up. she had been lying on the red earth, in a bed of white feathers and yellow grass. She turned her head and saw two long, long legs, a short faded denim skirt, a Tshirt that said "Australian Maid", black ray bans, a big smile, and a river of raven hair. It was the woman from last night. Suddenly it all started coming back…..

"Hey, owl woman, I'm Hilda – hadda bit too much grog last night? Watcha doing out here under the tree?" Magenta grinned. This woman was full of spunk.

"Wanna hit the tracks?" Magenta looked over the women's should and saw her striding towards an old pink Holden FJ , all tarted up and ready to ride… "Sure", she grinned, and leapt into the car next to Hilda.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: freda underhill
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 07:42 AM

magenta was sitting cross legged, on the warm red desert earth.
around her in a circle sat the women of the desert - wrinkled faces, big smiles, deep dark eyes. Magentas long black hair was draped about her, she was being painted in white ochre and feathers - the fluffy feathers of the old white Owl, (Tyto alba deliculata), or "the delicate white owl". One old mama was was nodding, talking, and in front of her was a pile of very dry grass and crackly dead leaves. Beside her was a woman with a mane of long black hair, skinny as a rake, with long, long legs like beanpoles. This woman was rubbing sticks back and forth, over the dried leaves, until the day sky flushed with red and then grew dark.

all the women were clapping and chanting, and Magenta was so hypnotised by the sound, she was in a trance. the night sky was black, and above her circling in the sky were 13 beautiful white owls, gliding in their ghostly and silent flight.

The woman with long legs finally stood up and said, "Auntie Jean, we aint gettin nowhere". Then she took a cigarette lighter out of her pocket, and wOOOsh! lit the dry grasses in a crackle and leap of yellow flame. as the flame danced, the grasses smoked, and through the low singing, and the occasional wild screech of an owl overhead, flowed and drifted, thicker and thicker, swirls of grey smoke, winding themselves in, around and about Magenta.

And for hours under the stars, Magenta rocked, swayed and struggled as her women, the women of the Oldest way, the most ancient women of the earth, smoked Magenta, smoking her with the oldest cleanser, smoking the bad spirit out of her.

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 18 Jan 05 - 01:17 PM

Whoo-ee! Jimmy drives this thing like a bat outta hell! You gotta really hang on. I am lookin' through my tour guide here, and it seems that William Shatner is comin' to Sydney in a coupla weeks to promote some dieting show. That oughta be a hoot. That guy is like a fat, sticky something that splatters all over your windshield at 90 mph, and you can't figure out what the hell it was, and no matter HOW hard you scrub it just WON'T come off! He's indelible.

WHOA! There's a kangaroo! Or is it a wallaby? Stop the jeep, Jimmy! Gotta get a picture. Yeah, I know, "what's the fuss?".   Well, buddy, I just seen my first wild kangaroo, that's what. Stop the jeep!

Subject: RE: BS: Magenta Bites Back - a vampire tail
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 17 Jan 05 - 04:14 PM

We don't wanna hear about your sexual preferences, Georgian Silver. Okay? We got standards here.

Well, I found an aboriginal guy here named "Jimmy", of all things. I was hopin' he'd have some exotic name, but nope. Jimmy. Turns out though that Jimmy knows the lay of the land just fine. We have rented a jeep and are headin' out tonight inta the great unknown. I did manage to find a trace of Magenta's trail, found a room she was at recently, but she ain't there now. She's headed for the high country, same as me and Jimmy. I figure Vlad is out there somewhere too, and I am gonna find him. Count on it.

- Chongo