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BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Rapparee Date: 30 Dec 09 - 09:07 PM This just in! Chongo Chimp, former Presidential-Wannabee, has been caught in blatant blatancy! Film at eleven. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: olddude Date: 30 Dec 09 - 09:14 PM I heard he has a new CD out call "Im a Runnin cause thems chasin me" the title song is "Twernt me that rattled Bobsters haaze wif them their bullets" And "monkey get yer gun" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Ed T Date: 30 Dec 09 - 11:03 PM We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?" - Niels Bohr (1885-1962) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Little Hawk Date: 30 Dec 09 - 11:18 PM That is a very good question to ask anyone who contemplates running for president of the USA... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Bobert Date: 31 Dec 09 - 08:31 AM First of all, let's get the story straight... I was the first here to declare my candidacy... Skivz opened up our national headquarters in a 2nd floor apartment over an auto shop in North Carolina...Chongz was hired to provide security... Chongz wiped out our entire budget with dietary demands, refused to use the indoor plumbing (which we were assured that he knew how to use), trashed the joint, got poor ol' Skivz throwed out thereby ending any chance of the campaign going forward... Thems is the facts... Now to wit: Then Cnonz goes and runs himself??? Heck, Chongz made George W look like a choirboy... No, make that a BoyScout... No, make that Jesus... No thems things ain't easy to do but the monkey did 'um... Sho nuff did... That's why I think he just might do well with Ms. Sarah... I mean, they is cut from the same cloth... They is like frick 'n frack, nip 'n tuck, Amos 'n Andy, Lurel 'n Hardy, CDheek and Chong (no, not that Chong)... I mean, these two is like fire 'n gasoline, Simon 'n Garfunkle, nip 'n tuck... Know what I mean??? B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Rapparee Date: 31 Dec 09 - 08:57 AM Are you saying that the immoral Sarah doesn't know how to use indoor plumbing, Bobert? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Rapparee Date: 31 Dec 09 - 09:28 AM Oh, my. I just re-read Bobert's last post. Chongo had "runs himself"? I've had the runs, but I always managed to (sometimes just barely) make it to the bathroom. It must have been embarrassing to Chongo to have "runs" himself. Probably ruined the pants of that cheap, tacky suit he wears. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: GUEST,bankley Date: 31 Dec 09 - 09:50 AM yeah but does he still hang with Cheecho and play 'bong-os' ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Bobert Date: 31 Dec 09 - 10:03 AM Well, Rap... The danged monkey forgot all his manners (and trainin') when he got to North Carolina... Maybe he was tryin' to impress the Southerners, I donno... All I know is that I'm now being sued by the guy who rented us the office and Skivz has had to not only move but change his name... That's the way it went down... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Ed T Date: 31 Dec 09 - 10:11 AM Doesn't he wear bamboo underwear? It's catching on among Chimps and monkeys (may even be edible?: http://www.enjoybamboo.com/Bamboo-Fabric/Bamboo-Men-s-Underwear.html |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Bobert Date: 31 Dec 09 - 10:13 AM You obviously haven't seen the pictures of that office, Ed, or you would not even think about eating Chongz undies... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Ed T Date: 31 Dec 09 - 11:04 AM Sounds like one pissedoffmonkey. Have you considered electronic monkey pants or underwear? A somwhat related site: http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Monkey |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Ed T Date: 31 Dec 09 - 12:37 PM Be sure to clean up the crap in your office, especially if there's nuts in it...could attract birds, rodents or even worse......freeloading politicians. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Rapparee Date: 31 Dec 09 - 01:08 PM ...or Mudcatters. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo killed by IED in Afghanistan From: Amos Date: 31 Dec 09 - 01:38 PM It is with great sorrow that I must report that Chongo was killed by an improvised explosive device while following a hot lead to Kandahar, Afghanistan. He had wheedled a lift from a group of American soldiers who were taking their armored personnel carrier "outside the wire" on reconnaissance; apparently Chongo believed he could follow his suspect--a notorious international poppy distributor--to his lair in the Kandahar slums. Unfortunately, the APC hit an IED while traversing a culvert only a couple of miles outside the wire, killing two American marines, one photo journalist, and Chongo. The Taleban has taken credit, in a post on the internet, for "ridding the world of the noxious capitalist Western pig-dog of a chimp". Services will be held in Chicago at a speakeasy of unknown address. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Ed T Date: 31 Dec 09 - 02:01 PM I suspect he had reached the latter stages of pharyngula. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Ed T Date: 31 Dec 09 - 02:10 PM One must never forget that the ultimate purpose of an explosive is to explode. -Petri Pihko |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Rapparee Date: 31 Dec 09 - 02:43 PM Or, as we used to say in demolitions school, "BOOM stuff supposed to go BOOM. That good. No BOOM bad. No go look at no BOOM stuff for long time." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Bobert Date: 31 Dec 09 - 02:45 PM Sniff... That monkey was beginnin' to grow on me... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: GUEST,Renata Carson Date: 31 Dec 09 - 02:52 PM Amos, maybe you can explain how it is that I am sitting in a coffee shop in Chicago typing on my laptop as I write these very words, and sitting across from me with his Amaretto-flavored house coffee is Chongo Chimp, just as alive as you or me. You can't explain it, can you? You can't explain it because you are a liar. You're just a shameless shill working undercover for the Obama administration, and you've been dogging Chongo's heels with your ridiculous false charges, innuendo, and outright lies for years now. You even went so far as to dig up some chimpanzee slut from Mexico City and get her to pose as Chongo's long-lost sister "Chinga"! That word means "fuck" in Spanish, you know. You disgust me. If I were in your presence, I would have a hard time restraining myself from slapping your smug face, you creep. If you persist in spreading more disinformation about Chongo, we are going to take legal action against you, mister. Enough is enough. I have contacts here in Chicago who know how to deal with a jerk like you and we have plenty of evidence. We have enough to sue you for everything you've got. You won't have a pair of socks left to put on when we're through with you. As for the rest of the specist garbage on this thread, it isn't even worth commenting on. For the record: Chongo did not go to Aghanistan. He is totally opposed to that illegal war of aggression and occupation, whether it's being fought under the auspices of either George Bush OR Barack Obama. Chongo is not dead, he's alive and well in America, fighting for the rights of all humans and primates to live in a country at peace, not at war with half the Muslim world and propping up corrupt dictators who are hated by their own people in the other half. You are going to see us at the polls in 2012, and you are going to see real change, not Obama's false promises of change! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: gnu Date: 31 Dec 09 - 02:52 PM I had a growth once... had it removed. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Ed T Date: 31 Dec 09 - 03:07 PM he fall down, go...BOOM!!!!! You know, we lose a lot of chimps dat way Ho ho, dat chimp has pink skin under his fur coat! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Amos Date: 31 Dec 09 - 03:23 PM Soldiers Mourn the Passing of a Strange VIsitorKANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN UPI December 31 2009 First Sergeant Mack "Mack" McEvoy, of the First Airborne, told reporters in Kandahar today that his whole battalion was deeply saddened by the sudden loss of Chongo Chimp to an IED a few miles outside the Green Zone. "For some reason, we had all grown to really like the little bastard", McEvoy said. "He was like a cross between Godzilla and Bugs Bunny, and everyone got a kick out of him." On hearing that their visiting friend had been unexpectedly taken out by an IED, members of the battalion decided to submit a petition to the Obama Administration to have him awarded the Purple Heart despite the fact that Mr. Chimp was not a member of any Armed Service unit known to the U.S. Government. "We know there's not much chance of it getting approved, but we felt we oughta try. He was good people", one Pfc. was heard to remark. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Date: 31 Dec 09 - 04:00 PM Still at, huh, Amos? Boy, what a chump you are. I seen brighter lights inside old refrigerators. I bet you ain't even a 5 watt. Now, lissen up, and listen up good, buster. You are upsettin' those who are near and dear to me. I don't tolerate that. Capiche? If I was you, I would just shut up and quit now while I was ahead. You copy? You readin' me loud and clear? I hope so. I would hate to have to waste some of my valuable time stompin' on a paper bag fulla shit, but if I have to come down to San Diego and do that, I will. - Chongo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Bobert Date: 31 Dec 09 - 04:09 PM Danged... Maybe Chongz got some cat DNA 'cause he's got more lives that a hoppy frog has warts... Well, if that is the case then I retract my last statement about "the monley beginnin' to grow on me"... I jus' said it 'casue, ahhhhhh, I....... Ahhhhhhh, danged if I know why I said it??? The little weizel cost me a shot at the White House and run Skivz life into the crapper... Ahhhhhh, bad word... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Amos Date: 31 Dec 09 - 04:11 PM Chicago Cops Tracing False Messages from Imitators of Fallen Primate In the wake of the tragic death of Chongo Chimp, one of America's best-known and best-beloved private dicks, a flurry of wannabe imitators have started pretending to be Mr Chimp himsel;f, sending thinly-disguised counterfeit messages from masked computers. According to FBI Senior Investigator, this pattern is typical when a famous person passes on unexpectedly. "It's kinda like denial or something," said Gilbert Presshamm, of the Illinois headquarters of the FBI. "People can't accept it so they make uyp stuff. But we take these imitators very seriously and I can promise them we will find them and correct their behavior for them." According to sources inside the FBI, some of the fraudulent postings came from as far away as Ontario. Mister Presshamm did not comment on how the FBI handles fraudulent messages received from outside the country, except to remark, "We are very well connected with the Mounties and other law enforcement agencies in Canada." Chimp was unexpectedly killed in the line of duty by an improvised explosive device while tracking a felon into the slums of Kandahar, Afghanistan. His sole surviving relative, a sister, Miss Chinga Chimp, declined to provide any comments for this article. New York Post, Thursday, December 31, 2009 |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: olddude Date: 31 Dec 09 - 04:16 PM Are ya gonna share some shine with Chongo there Bobster? I hear tell he loves it with banana skins on the side |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Ed T Date: 31 Dec 09 - 04:24 PM Chimp Chump best business idea of 2009: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=5 |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Little Hawk Date: 31 Dec 09 - 04:29 PM LOL! Love that "trunk monkey"! (even if it is a specist term) Amos should take heed of what happened to the guy who tried to steal the car. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Bobert Date: 01 Jan 10 - 09:16 AM No, Oldster, the only thing I wanta share with Chongz is a oneway bus ticket back to the danged zoo... Shine too hard to come by... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Amos Date: 01 Jan 10 - 11:01 AM Easy to say he wasn't in Afghanistan. Anyone can say anything! On the other hand, safe behind the wire in the largest American base in-country, he was seen competing with a Navy Seal during training exercises before going out on his fateful excursion. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Rapparee Date: 01 Jan 10 - 11:09 AM "...faceful excursion"?!?!!?? What happened? He get hit in the face by a pie or something? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Jan 10 - 01:15 PM Deep Doo-Doo (codename for Amos) is spreading disinformation in an attempt to derail Chongo's 2012 race for the presidency, Rapaire. Pay no attention. That isn't Chongo in the video with the navy seal. Chongo would have left that guy in the dust. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Amos Date: 01 Jan 10 - 02:16 PM Obama Extends Honors to Famous Chimp Washington, January 1, 2010 (API) President Barack Obama, at the prompting of a corps of Marines deployed in Afghanistan, broke with tradition and extended limited military honors to Chongo Chimp, a colorful and famous Chicago resident and private investigator who was killed in Afghanistan this week when his hitch-hiked ride went over a culvert and caught an IED outside Kandahar. Although refusing to award Mr Chimp the Purple Heart, Obama gave orders for his remains to be returned using military transport, in a flag-draped coffin. The remains will then be forwarded to Chimp's sole surviving relative, a madame in Milwaukee known as Chinga Chimp, who also has business interests in Detroit and Chicago. The President said, "Sometimes, the government has to be attentive to individual drama. Besides, the chimp was from Chicago." Miss Chinga Chimp was not available for comment. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Rapparee Date: 01 Jan 10 - 03:04 PM Draped in a white flag, I assume. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Date: 01 Jan 10 - 03:51 PM Har! Har! This is gettin' good. Maybe I can claim death benefits. Really...I am amazed what ridiculous lengths the Democrats are willin' to go to to see that I don't run in 2012. Obama is clearly terrified by what might happen if I do. What a wimp! Well, I'm hopin' they have a fullscale state funeral for "me" and I will attend it. I'll even put a buncha flowers by the coffin. Har! Har! Har! Man, I am rollin' in the aisles here. I have told Renata not to get ticked off about alla this phony hoopla. It's dynamite promotion if you ask me. We could not have planned it better ourselves. Just wait...."Back From The Dead!!!" is what the headlines will scream. Hoo boy! I got a bettin' pool goin' with the guys at Alfie's to see how long the administration will carry on this nonsense before admittin' that they got the wrong chimp. - Chongo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Amos Date: 01 Jan 10 - 04:38 PM Multiple Personality Disorder in Social Contexts, Scientific Primate Journal, January, 2010, Gung and Hoe, 12 pp. Abstract: We examine the generation of false identities borrowed from the personae of deceased celebrities and examine the disorders in individuals who pose as those celebrities in an effort to gather attention, admiration, or sexual advantage. (For the complete text of this reference article, enter your subscriber information. To purchase a single article, register below. Individual articles are $49.50. To subscribe to the journal register for your subscription below. Institutional subscriptions $250/yr. Individual subscriptions $180/yr.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Date: 01 Jan 10 - 05:02 PM Yeah, yeah....and then you got the disorders in individuals who pose as relatives of celebrities in an effort to gather attention, admiration, or sexual advantage. Example 1: Numerous individuals have posed as relatives or associates of Bob Dylan, claiming to be his brother, sister, cousin, agent, etc. Why? Usually they are seeking attention, admiration, and sexual advantage. Example 2: You got people pretendin' to be related to Obama for the same reasons as noted above. Example 3: And the most glarin' case of all! A notorious disease-carryin' chimp proskirt named Chinga has been posin' for the last couple of years as the longlost sister of a famous private eye from Chicago...namely Yours Truly, me. She got her surname changed to "Chimp" to bolster the illusion. Her real original surname was "la Madre". This Chinga la Madre character came up from Mexico where she had been workin' the streets and dealin' drugs. She got wind of a shady agent of the Obama administration who goes by the codename: Deep Doo-Doo. We know him as "Amos", but he got that changed too. His real original name is "Anos", an unusual name unless you are related to deviant vivisectionist Bulgarian necrophiliacs from the mountainous Bumfak region, many of whom have adopted that name in bravado. Their intention is to offend, and they usually do. So, Deep Doo-Doo offered her big bucks from the Democratic Party warchest to slander the name of Chongo Chimp. Idiots! She'd've willingly done it for five dollars! With the money gained from her slanderous activities, Chinga la Madre, alias Chinga Chimp, has set up a string of cathouses from Milwaukee to Chicago. Funds from those illicit operations are bein' used to finance crooked electioneering and drug running by the Democrats in a number of Congressional ridings, and that's not all. Chinga has also been workin' for the Republicans...the other half of the specist megalopoly that runs Washington and wants to keep a chimp out of the White House. Chinga doesn't care who she betrays in her lust for money and fame. She would sell her own mother for bingo money...if she knew who her mother was. Why did Chinga do it? Easy. She did it in an effort to gather attention, admiration, and sexual advantage. Heh! :-D Oh, and money, of course... Lotsa money. - Chongo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Amos Date: 01 Jan 10 - 05:17 PM For supplementary information on transactional disorders in social matrices, see the interesting study done at the University of Chicago on Conspiracies and Other Fabrications as a Function of Low Self-Esteem or Traumatic Denial, Schwartzkopf and Pamplemoouse, November 1987. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant....... From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Jan 10 - 05:21 PM That's where I always go when I am in need of accurate, insightful, and timely information. Schwartzkopf and Pamplemoouse. ;-) Yessirree. Weren't they they guys who supplied Bush the conclusive info on the WMDs in Iraq? |
