BS: reasons for not marrying

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 08:11 PM

Well, while the study mentioned only used a sample of 900, statistically for the general population the more intelligent (as measured by I.Q.) a woman is the less likely she is to marry. Additionally and even more statisically verified is that the more education a woman has the less likely she is to be married. This does not hold true for men. The higher the I.Q. the more formally education the greater the chance that they will marry.

Not to man bash or woman bash possible explantions
1. Men are less likely to marry smart educated women
2. Women who are intelligent and education are less likely to choose to marry.
3.   It is a combination of choice and opportunity.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: GUEST,An Ugly Smart Chick
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 08:27 PM

Well, I am above average intelligence well educated and could marry any man I please. I just haven't found one that I please yet.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: dianavan
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 08:43 PM

What is the advantage? What is the disadvantage?

Why bother?

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 08:44 PM

Part of a good marriage is the long-term strength it providers the partners as a result of the constant companionship, enduring communication and sense of having someone on your side when theings get rough in life.

Women who are smart and independent may under-value those benefits until they've been around a while, as some men certainly do, and such people end up being smart and somewhat lonely in spite iof having many friends and a few lovers.

A

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Bobert
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 08:44 PM

First of all, forget what Little Hawk said... He's been watching way too much Doctor Phil... Speakin' of Doctor Phil, what a wimp... His wife comes on the show and he's like "yes mam, no mam"... Like whats all thsat supposed to be about??? Answer me that one, L.H.....

I know exactly why women don't wanta marry men....





















They are friggin' men.

Men is some nasty animal. They burp, scratch when ever and where ever they want. They kill each other and, take it from me, God didn't design um' to look too good either... Believe me... I lerant this at an early age taking showers with 'um after gym class. Nasty!

Yup, put my butt in a shower room full of womenz, thank you...

The only thing that most guys (exempt Martin G, DougR and Biskit here) have going fir them is good wiring. Yeah guys think right. Women don't.

Let me give you an example of woman wiring. The dreaded "sale". The woman goes to the department store and buys $200 worth of junk that would have cost $300 if not fir the dreaded "sale"... Now the womanz will come home and tell you that she just saved you $100. Right? This is what I mean about their wirin'... She just cost you $200. Don't take a Wes Ginny Slide Rule to tell ya that yer out a couple hundred bucks...

Hmmm, and why is this thread about why womenz don't wanta marry menz, or is it?

Aww, nevermind...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 11:34 PM

I have heard of Doctor Phil somewhere, Bobert, but I have never seen him. Not once. I know nada about Doctor Phil. The material I drew from to list those 10 qualities of women was...

Taoism

the Native American Medicine Way

Various other sacred traditions.

And my own knowledge of human history, culture, and life. And just plain common sense.

If I was a woman, I'd be a bit concerned about the poor general selection out there in males right now...but there are always a few good ones around, I figure. :-) Only problem is, those are probably taken already!

harpgirl - the Shatner stuff is just done to bug people. Apparently it's working. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 11:39 PM

If one this is certain on this thread, it's that the "ugly smart chick" guest above is a smart-ass guy.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 11:43 PM

With an IQ slightly above the level of a billy goat, in all probability...

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: LadyJean
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 12:05 AM

I have said before and will say again, the scientific term for men who say they like intelligent women is prevaracators.

Incidentally, I checked out a bunch of online dating services. I found men my age who weren't married. Most of them were sports junkies, anticipating the playoffs, the superbowl, march madness etc.
So, what is it with men and sports? I can't think of a female equivalent. Why are men mesmerized by complete strangers who would charge them fifty bucks for an autographed picture? It boggles the mind.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 12:08 AM

BOBERT:

You are being a bit unfair. This mechanism is called "justification" -- the effort of the irrational half of the mind to make up reasons for its conclusions so they seem rational. But men have as many or more blind spots in need of justification as women do. The response to breasts being one that comes to mind. Others are the instant reactions to the thought of cars, vaginas, touching other men, power tools, Demi Moore, double-bitt axes, schooners, fire-trucks, and black coffee with whiskey in it.

A

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: dianavan
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 12:14 AM

Amos may be right about constant companionship being a result of marriage.

But constant companionship can be suffocating as well.

There is also plenty of couples who have married but enjoy the benefits of: "...constant companionship, enduring communication and sense of having someone on your side when things get rough in life."

So why marry?

BTW - I know plenty of lonely women who are married.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 12:20 AM

No doubt.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 01:14 AM

You are so tremendously wrong, Lady Jean, that I hope you keep hooking up with just the kind of dumb guys you are complaining about. It would certainly be poetic justice.

I haven't heard of anyone as wrong as you since George Bush decided there were WMD's in Iraq. You must have a brain with the agility and grasp of a dessicated fig.

I very seldom speak like that to anyone on this forum, but you win the "fecking" prize tonight, if I may use some British slang. I always suspected there were a few real hardcore female chauvinists out there, and you have confirmed that there is at least one.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 01:19 AM

Unless, of course, you were being witty and satirical, and lampooning an obviously ridiculuous attitude toward men in your post....

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 01:23 AM

And Dianavan, I agree heartily with what you keep saying: "Why marry?" What for exactly? To please other people and meet their expectations? To please a church?

I never had any trouble being faithful to a partner and being monogamous. No problem. It comes naturally to me. But why marry???

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: dianavan
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 02:36 AM

From the oringinal post - "A high IQ is a hindrance for women wanting to get married while it is an asset for men..."

This is old news.

Women often marry 'up', men rarely marry 'up' (financially, as well as intellectually) soooo....

I wonder what that says about our gene pool?



btw I think the conclusions of this so-called study are a crock!

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Metchosin
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 02:51 AM

Come on Little Hawk, a descicated fig? And Bobert's comment about women's "wiring" and the dreaded "sale" doesn't even warrant a raised eyebrow?. Jeez people are touchy. LOL

I think I'll just go back to watching the hockey results.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: dianavan
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 02:58 AM

As originally posted, "Women in their late 30s who have gone for careers after the first flush of university and who are among the brightest of their generation are finding that men are just not interesting enough."

According to the study, it should follow that BRIGHT men are just not interesting enough to bright women.

Maybe bright women should be checkin' out the not so bright guy that likes to cook and clean and feed the animals.

Hey, maybe we're on the right track, after all! Seems that society might be moving in that direction, anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: fat B****rd
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 03:28 AM

One thing I know about women.

They look better in just their stockings than men do in just their socks.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 04:07 AM

They tend to look better in the mans socks than the men do too!
It does appear from the statements and replies on this thread that there is a big discrepancy between the expectations of women and those of men.....so...the thread itself seems to have given us plenty of reasons for not marrying. A few of the replies have been spot-on.
Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: freda underhill
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 06:08 AM

i fall in the camp of not needing a certificate either, nor wish to gain permission from any external body for major decisions in my life.

BTW, with all these pesky GUESTS on the scene, I would like to point out that my only anon posting was the original one.

and Martin, beware, i may send my good friend Nurse Ratched to visit you one day...

ps what IS a tush, anyway?

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: 42
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 07:22 AM

I like the idea of contract marriages...five year term renewable ...release without penalty...

The whole concept of remaining with the same person for life is one which I feel sets any partnership up for failure.

People change and grow - not necessarily in the same direction.

Enjoy the benefits of a solid, loving relationship while it is that, kiss goodbye and keep the memories and the blender without societal censure for "not working hard enough at it".

that's what two cents will buy you on the Cat

Jen

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 08:01 AM

Well, the problem a lot of folks here are having is not understanding the game of marriage. It has different goals, different rules, and different moves, freedoms and boundaries, than the game of living as a single self. When yu try to run amarriage on the rules of the single self sort of game, ito f course sooner or later falls apart.

The same thing would happen if you tried to play chess on a Monopoly board. Not only would you mess up the game but you would lose all the greatest pleasures of both games by mixing yourself up so badly.

You can get into marrying while you are still trying to figure out the basic rules of play for the Self game and find that neither game works very well. IN the confusion you can also leap to the conclusion that you are messed up and that marriage is a messed up business. Neither being really the case except in opinion.

As for playing a game that you really--after taking everything into account-- do not want to play, that doesn't make too much sense, does it?

A

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 09:06 AM

Splendid idea, 42!!!

And, Amos, that was also very well stated, laying out the alternate viewpoint.

I should not really have allowed myself to become that annoyed over LadyJean's comments. It's silly to let other people control oneself like that...better to just leave them merrily to their own misperceptions and cherished beliefs.

I think, though, that it would be blatantly obvious that keen intelligence is attractive in either gender. It would only be unattractive to someone who was themselves lacking in either intelligence...or some other worthy quality, such as the ability to love with an open heart.

I can say of all the women I have ever been much attracted to...they were intelligent. Some were pretty insecure, but they were all notably intelligent. This didn't necessarily mean they looked like your local librarian either. In fact, intelligence generally adds much attractiveness to appearance, specially to the eyes and face.

This concept of "marrying up" or "marrying down"...can't really relate to it. I don't believe in it. You marry a unique individual, not a representative of a class. Healthy relationships are based on a sense of equality, not on connecting "up" or "down".

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: GUEST,Joe_F
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 10:15 AM

"Without marriage, there is no divorce. Remember the alimony!" -- Nina Farewell

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 10:27 AM

If people think in terms of marrying 'up' or 'down', IMO they have a view of themselves that ain't too healthy. "Oooooh, I am so fecking wonderful that the WORLD will want ME!" Jaysus, gimme a break. Most people, guy or gal, have days they should put their heads in ovens to save the rest of us the angst of their views and opinions. If the opposite sex is a 'chore' for you to relate to on a human level, don't. Listening to people talk about how 'the other sex' buggered up their lives is a pain in the arse. If your relationships went down the tubes for whatever reason, it's likely you too had something to do with it. If you feel you're too intelligent for those around you, and yet you're not intelligent enough to know that then you're doomed to failure in your relationships, then y'ain't as smart as you think you are. Your initial premise was wrong to begin with.

The gal who started this thread is extremely bright--certainly my intellectual superior. Doesn't bother me a bit.

As to the absolutely stupid idea that only dolts like to cook or take care of the mundane stuff that has to be attended to around the house/home--stop being so bloody childish. No one gets off cleaning the toilet bowl or doing the dishes. It's just stuff that has to be done--regardless of your IQ or self-perceived intelligence. Get over it. And if you don't have the people skills to arrive at a solution that works for both the people in a relationship, then you're too self-absorbed to begin with. The longest journey begins with the first step. If your first step starts with looking for everything wrong about the other person, you're in for a really crappy journey.

Thank you for allowing me to get this little rant off my chest.

BM

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 10:32 AM

Not only smarter, but an infinitely nicer and kinder person, too.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: M.Ted
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 10:54 AM

Don't forget guitars, Amos----

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: mg
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 02:24 PM

Oops..got cut off there..

Anyway, several reasons.
1) Marriage is not suitable for you.
2)

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: mg
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 02:24 PM

well it keeps cutting me off so I will pontificate later.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 02:42 PM

Hockey, metchosin? Did you just give yourself away big time? (or are you into junior or high school hockey or some such thing, in which case I apologize in advance.)

And Bobert nailed it. The thing that amazes me most about the men and women thing is that men are so hideously ugly. How could a benevolent God have created such a thing??

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: GUEST,Com Seangan
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 02:54 PM

Jakus, lads and lassies. Take it easy. We are complementary. And there is such a thing as enduring love - which blinds us to the weaker spots in the persona of teh partnet.
Vive la difference.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 03:12 PM

This didn't necessarily mean they looked like your local librarian either.

For shame, Little Hawk, you librarianist, you! Librarians don't even look "like your local librarian" any more. That's as bogus an observation as saying women over 40 are more likely to be killed by a terrorist than to marry. (The line they use frequently in Sleepless in Seattle--if Nora Ephron ridiculed it, it must not be true!)

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: freda underhill
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 03:20 PM

yes, how many women are there out there that look like Rapaire? (in or OUT of the skeleton suit?)


brucie - beware i have a split personality - the nice part is a cover - remember nurse ratched is there for the bad hair days.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: mg
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 03:37 PM

I don't think you need a reason for not marrying, unless you have bred children, then you better have a good reason for not marrying him or her in my opinion.

Anyway, if you are the marrying sort, I think the reasons not to marry are
1) you haven't met the right one
2) you met the right one but he/she is not available..i.e., married, lives too far away, too many other obligations etc.
3) right one, available, but has fatal flaws..gambler, drug user, alcoholic, abusive at times.

A subgroup of 1 is that you met a great person, but he/she does not have the elusive "it". Could have great character, personality, values, stability etc., but there is no point if "it" is not there.

I say otherwise quit dithering and get married already..

mg

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 04:01 PM

mmmm as a person who has had a few marriages..and been taken advantage of as the knight in shining armour....don't get married unless you are sure that she is the one for you...without other needs such as....lack of funding.....diabetes out of control.....left by another partner and not recovered.....just had a hysterectomy.....
has four children by two different fathers and is purely looking for a man to father them.....
I have unfortunately fallen into a few traps and would now only ever consider someone who wants me purely because I am me!
I feel I have been weak because I have been easily sucked into situations where I am of "Use" to a woman.....never again!
If I ever marry again it will be because SHE loves me with no conditions or problems.......Am I being too harsh here or using common sense at last?
Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Metchosin
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 04:14 PM

Hey heric, I'm not sure what I gave away, other than I like hockey played well and I am Canadian!*BG* I'm also female and I think the world would be a pretty god awful dreary place if we weren't driven to seek bonds with one another, legal or otherwise.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Don Firth
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 04:42 PM

Little Hawk!! Tsk tsk!

I'm married to my local librarian. She's highly intelligent, talented, and very attractive.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 04:47 PM

Come out from behind that stack of books, Little Hawk, and defend yourself, if you can!

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 04:51 PM

People are gregarious by nature. We actively seek out the company of others. Sometimes in real life--whether in person or on the 'nat--things don't work out. Often they do. Marriage--I was married for 27 years--and finally it ended. Stuff happens. I don't blame my ex--but I will be damned if I will go around blaming myself either. The dynamics of two people 'breaking up' is not as simple as "S/he is bad and the one at fault." Life doesn't happen in isolation; nor does it happen in a vacuum.

I see many things in my ex to admire. I would never, under any circumstance, try to assign the blame to her. She is a wonderful woman, and that's all anyone's gotta know. That said, people who think of the other sex/gender as lesser beings are in for a rough time. If you're too good for the other to beginn with, you'll just keep getting better and the other person won't. Wow. Lucky you. Perfect--and all alone.

Metchosin is right (as is Freda). Lighten up and recognize that everyone ain't perfect. Life gets easier to cope with that way. IMO of course.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 04:52 PM

My dream woman is a librarian, with a Master's in Fine Arts who moonlights as a symphony cellist. But she's got to LOOK like a librarian. That's first.


I once married a lawyer.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 05:16 PM

Don Firth...you are one well blessed guy.
Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Don Firth
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 05:40 PM

I am indeed, Mike. Thank you.

It helps a lot if you marry a friend, someone you've known for a while. Barbara and I met in 1971 and got married in 1977.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Leadfingers
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 08:10 PM

When I was a crass young man I used the throw away line "If ever I meet a woman who is daft enough to want to marry me do you think I would be daft enough to want to marry her"
What a Pillock I was !!

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Bobert
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 08:40 PM

(And the Bobert patiently awaits Little Hawk's "Dance of the Deing Duck" under the relentless cross examination of the mighty SRS...)

Yo, L.H. You can do what I always do and just throw up yer arms and say "Hey, you talkin' to me?" Works every time....

B~

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: dianavan
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 11:27 PM

The idea of marrying up or down financially (or intellectually, as mentioned in the original post) is not a concept that I personally agree with. It has been in practice for a very long time and is a big part of the male/female dynamic when marriage is concerned. The basic foundation of marriage (historically) is a financial alliance and this hasn't changed much.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: GUEST,Auggie (cookieless)
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 11:58 PM

If "The basic foundation of marriage (historically) is a financial alliance and this hasn't changed much" then it's no wonder why there are so many divorces.

If I want a financial alliance, I call my banker. If I want a relationship where the happiness and well being of the other person is the foremost goal, if I find trying to do this makes my own life all the sweeter, and if I find that person feels the same, then I've got at least the first row of bricks in the foundation for marriage.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: LadyJean
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 12:17 AM

OK, the nicest guy I know is happily married to a very bright lady, and he is very proud of her achievements. He also likes to dance. He is one in a million. I have a hard time believing he's straight.

Women are carefully trained, at least many of us are, to stroke the male ego, to make him feel like he's smarter and more capable than he is.

I don't do make a habit of that. My mom used to sing a song called, "How To Lose Your Man". In it the woman tells about letting a man know she knows as much or more than he does, and losing him.

The man I'm sort of involved with now, likes to debate. Of course if I'm winning he'll change the subject.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 12:34 AM

Discussions are a better idea than debates, I think, because in a discussion both parties can win. Dancing is definitely something that I could put some time into learning more about. You will be happy to know, Lady Jean, that I have no interest whatsoever in professional sports. I don't give a damn who wins the Superbowel (sorry! "bowl") because it's meaningless. Talk about a stupid game...

As for the $50 autographed pictures...what was that about? Do you mean pictures of hockey players or movie stars or what?

I'll tell you what does interest me: Music, literature, history, culture, animals and nature, philosophy, spiritual advancement, geography, politics, guitars, people, some movies, and model kits of ships, planes, etc. I have a couple of wooden tall ship models that you ought to see. Very beautiful.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Peace
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 12:35 AM

You hold onto that thought: the good guy's 'one-in-a-million'. That makes about 3000 men on Earth who will be the man of your dreams. Long odds. Good luck.