BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?

Subject: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: lamarca
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 03:27 PM

BillD posted a warning in one of the Getaway threads that Debby McClatchey only puts out creamy peanut butter, much to the distress of us die-hard crunchy addicts. My husband insists that my Crunchy Jif isn't made correctly -it's supposed to be peanut "butter", smooth and creamy. To keep peace in our marriage and home, we have TWO jars of peanut butter open at all times (but it doesn't stop him from making the occasional disparaging comment about MY peanut butter, which actually has Peanuts in it!).

Is this a religious difference? How do other 'Catters resolve this kind of conflict? (Mayonnaise vs. Miracle Whip, French's vs. Grey Poupon, etc.) Can this marriage be saved?

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 03:42 PM

Hullo, Lamarca - The nuns who fed me during my formative teenage years had an extreme distaste for religious conflict. Being modern nuns who believed in ecumenism, they served both creamy and crunchy.
Sounds like LaMarca is having a really slow day today.
The choice of cream or crunch don't make no nevermind in the cosmic view of things. There is, however, one question that really makes a difference:

Paper, or plastic?

-Joe Offer, also having a slow day-

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 03:43 PM

In the interst of diversity and because it would be a bland world indeed if we were all to like the same things (kinda like the guy who used the come on line with me of sex with his wife being like the same bowl of cereal every morning!), I say we should cater to each other's individual tastes and keep crunchy (any kat's personal preference) and creamy (for those of the less toothsome variety) available.

Save Your Marriage - Be Diverse, Not Perverse!

katlaughing

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: MMario
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 03:43 PM

I am afraid, even in these enlightened days, that a "creamy" vs "crunchy" marriage is doomed. The differences are just too great to be reconciled; even if society at large were somehow to accept this marriage of oppisetes.

It is greatly to be hoped that in such a situation, there are no children to be permanently warped by the conflict between their parents lifestyles.

True, you can find people who will claim "Some of my best friends eat smooth peanut butter" -- or "I have nothing against people who like crunchy" -- but you KNOW that, when it comes down to basics, YOUR brand will be hidden in the deep dark recesses of the pantry, in the section of the shelf holding Great-Aunt Euphrenia's cucumber-horseradish marmalade surprise....

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: Bert
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 04:16 PM

Ah! 'the less toothsome variety' that gets to the heart of the issue. REALLY I like crunchy, but it gets stuck in my teeth (What's left ovvem).

So "creamy" vs "crunchy" in a marriage is no problem, autoharp shaped dents in one's auto, also no problem. But when things interfere with your own personal preferences THEN you have a problem.

Bert. ('Spaw, I do have teeth, I just forget where I left 'em)

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: Allan C.
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 04:24 PM

While I was reading here about this important issue, a friend sent me an email which featured this link: The Hunger Site The irony appealed to me so I followed the path. Some bright person found a way to do a little advertising and to funnel the monies gained from that toward feeding the less fortunate. One has nothing more to do than to click onto the page. This puts at least a cup and a half of rice, maize, or wheat into the hands of someone who needs it. The presumption is that you click on the advertisers' links while there but you don't have to in order for this to work.

I wouldn't pass on something of this kind if I didn't think it was probably a good thing. I hope you will take a moment to check it out.

BTW, I like Jif the best. I don't really care if it has nuts or not unless the bread is too soft to hold up against the texture of the nutty kind. Matter of fact, I am heading home in a few minutes to have a honey and PB sandwich. (I am all out of Welch's grape jelly - for which there is no equal!)

No matter how many times PB&J was all there was to eat, I never got so tired of it that I couldn't eat it. Eating PB with or without nuts is not what I would call a religious experience - probably because I find either to be much more satisfying on some level.

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 04:24 PM

1)..it is hardly religious..*big grin*..the problem IS....

"smood pnudbudda stids to da looff oob youa mouf"..

a friend of mine once, when he found ONLY smooth in my cupboard, (he was renting a room from me), searched thru shelves until he found a jar of what he THOUGHT were crushed nuts to sprinkle over his PB&J sandwich...only to find it was the little bits of clay that potters use for certain things (VERY like cat sand!)

2) my Great-Aunt was named Saphronia!(true!)

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: MMario
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 04:27 PM

BillD - Did she make cucumber-horseradish marmalade surprise?

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 04:48 PM

she did NOT! (at least no one in the family would admit it!).NO one puts horseradish in their Cucumber marmalade...perhaps a little curried anchovy, or some lime sauerkraut..

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: Jack (Who is called Jack)
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 04:57 PM

First, you really should keep the jars closed when you're not using them. Having them open at all times is an invitation to food contamination.

That said, its to your credit that you and your husband have come to a 'crunchy for you/creamy for him' compromise. Tell your husband to quit complaining. After all he's getting what he wants and your getting what you want, and thats how it should work out in a marraige whenever practicable, particularly in matters this personal.

As for my own experience, my wife and I both decided that if its to be peanut butter, it has to be creamy. We found that the nuts in the crunchy style just get pushed aside and accumulate on the hands and near the shoulders pretty early in the massage. There is also the risk of scratching the skin if you rub too hard using crunchy style, which kind of defeats the purpose. We also found that, peanut butter, while tasty, doesn't have the fine lubricating texture of Mayonnaise or Miracle Whip, either of which have worked interchangably in our household. As any professional will tell you, the balance between oil and water content is the key to any good massage product, and the mustards, being primarily water don't really do well regardless of brand or type. They start out OK but they dry out too fast and leave flaky crumbs which accumulate on the bedsheets and are uncomfortable to lie on after a while.

In the end of course your free to decide what works best for you as a couple, and that, as I said above, depends on a mutual recognition of each others needs.

One thing I will say as an aside with regard to food selection and marraige. If you are preparing a romantic dinner for your spouse and one of the recipes requires the handling of hot peppers, such as jalepeno, you may want to consider wearing rubber gloves while doing so, particularly if you are cutting or mincing them. Barring that, you should take particular care to wash your hands much more vigorously than normal in order to remove the capsicum oil responsible for the pepper's heat. Even in small amounts, this substance, if not removed, can have seriously deleterious effects on marital intimacy later in the evening. I speak from bitter experience.

Best regards,

Jack (who will tell you the truths that Dear Abby is afraid to tell)

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: paddymac
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 05:03 PM

Back in the days when I had little ones at home, I took great comfort in the crunchy variety because the chunks served as proof positive that it had not already been run through the tube ending in the diaper. Same color, same texture, only the chunks enable the careful observor to distinguish one from the other. When you run out of jelly (Welch's grape is good, but Smucker's Strawberry is better), and there's no honey in the house, try a little armadillo puree. Hmmmmm Good! (Well, OK, that's what I've been told - never actually tried it myself).

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: KathWestra
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 05:04 PM

Mary, when I saw the name of this thread I knew before I looked that you were the one who'd posted it. You ARE having a slow day!, she said in an egregious example of the Pot calling the Kettle Black :-)

My vote is for REALLY crunchy (Skippy Super Chunk.)

MMario -- luckily, lamarca and her "creamy" husband have other things in common to offset their PB (Pretty Big) differences in the bread-spread department.

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: Bert
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 05:31 PM

Don't worry crunchy lovers. The 'nutless' stuff can't reproduce.

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: kendall morse (don't use)
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 05:47 PM

My vote goes to Teddy all natural creamy. For the price we pay for peanut butter, we should at least get a finished product. Also in the matter of saving a marriage.. two jars of pb are much cheaper than a lawyer. Work on it.

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: thosp
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 06:06 PM

thanks to the above for a throughly enjoyable thread-- now that i've stopped laughing--

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: annamill
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 06:08 PM

aaaoooouuuu, Jack! I haven't tried either in a massage. Honey is working til 12AM tonight. That will give me time tomorrow to get some. For massaging, I think I'll go with the creamy. Thanks for the recommendation, Jack. ;-)

I don't eat peanut butter anymore, because of calories, but when I did, I loved both. I'm not a very religious person, so I could go either way, so to speak. Being the open minded person that I am, I could eat both kinds, even at once, if the situation presented itself.

You should try it with bananas on either white or whole wheat bread. Hmmmm.

Yes, I know I'm being suggestive. But only to a mind open to that kind of suggestion. ;-)

Love, annap

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: DonMeixner
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 06:44 PM

The "Crunchy versus Creamy" debate is a metaphor, perhaps simile, I was never sure, for the modern marriage. We all need just enough sand in the vaseline to things interesting.

Don

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: bbelle
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 07:02 PM

The word "butter" in peanut butter sums it up ... butter is smooth and creamy and so should peanut butter (be smooth and creamy, that is). And it must be Peter Pan. For the 12 years I lived in Portland, Or, I could not get Peter Butter and would smuggle several jars in my suitcase everytime I left the state. Some go sightseeing when they travel ... I hunted peter pan peanut butter. When we were growing up my mother kept the peanut butter in the fridge, which made it impossible to spread, therefore, the only way to make it smoothy was to put it on the bread, then toast the bread in the toaster. We went through several toasters during that period. My favorite way to eat peanut butter is with a spoon. I'm hypoglycemic and on several occasions it's been a lifesaver. My favorite peanut butter sandwich ... Smooth Peter Pan Peanut Butter, crisp & crunchy bacon, and banana, on dark bread ... moonchild

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 07:15 PM

well, SOME of us remember mixing not only the oil into the peanut butter, but the color into the margarine...great job to give a kid..pop the color capsule and KNEAD!....

and, for REAL delight try adding some almond or cashew butter to your regular peanut butter!...spread it on some nice multi-grain bread,,,with maybe some fancy honey..(I like New Zealand creamed Manuka or Nodding Thistle..or Australian Leatherwood)...YUM!

Bill D, who has been studying peanut butter combinations for 57 years!

(My usual breakfast is PB & 'X'...jelly, jam, honey...[and I almost NEVER eat white bread!])

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: JR
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 07:22 PM

Get the "grind you own" kind. Crunchy, actually tastes like peanuts, & probably has lots less than the USDA approved amount of bugs and rodent hair. Yum.

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 07:26 PM

I haven't been doing pb, either, because of all the carbos, but I DO recommend only using Puritan, not Crisco or any other, oil, for massage, esp for preserving a partnership.

Jack, I am LOL! Mmmmm, mustard flake sin the bed!

BillD, when my brother & I were both on pure food kicks, we boguht nothing but natural pb, which not only had to be stirred because it had separated, but also had to be refrigerated! Now, for awhile, a naturopath I went to had me eating almond butter on crackers. VERY GOOD!

MC: I have to comment before 'Spaw! Just a little typo/omission, really, but I am not surprised you " could not get Peter Butter." Maybe you could define it for us??**BG**

katlaughingforeal!

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: bbelle
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 07:37 PM

kat ... Peter Pan pb wasn't sold in the Portland area, except on occasion at Costco in 10 gallon tubs, which I refused to buy fearing it would go stale. Now, when I moved to Fairbanks, AK, lo and behold there was my beloved Peter Pan PB ... moonchild

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 08:34 PM

*imagination does backflips with the concept of 10 gallon tubs of PB!*...could beat jello rasslin'!

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: Bert
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 08:38 PM

Yeah, moonbaby bring that tub around to the tavern.

Bert.

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 08:40 PM

MC, I got the point, just noticed the lack of "Pan" in the one reference and couldn't help but "tweak" you before 'Spaw got a chance.**G**

And, makes one wonder why the Portland area is so bereft of PPPb?*g*

kat

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 09:19 PM

Maybe it WAS Peter butter........There's a guy in Florida currently trying to appeal a conviction for "Lewd Acts" and is blaming Peanut butter! Seems he read an old folk tale....Geez, Florida?-Folk?, wonder if it's BANJ; article gave no names!.......Anyway, the guy read or heard or something that Peanut Butter rubbed on his Willie would help gain and maintain an erection...so of course he tried it. HE says it worked and had been using it for several months. Then one day he walked past an elementary school, got a massive boner, and was arrested.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 10:09 PM

By this time the smooth/chunky question is moot, so it's time to move on to peter butter vs. head cheese. --seed

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 10:22 PM

Well just "Curse You Smegma" for pointing out such odious thread creep.......

Spaw - with credit to Vaughn Bode for the quote (Cheech Wizard the Lizard) Was anyone else a fan of his from the National Lampoon?

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: Mudjack
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 10:54 PM

CRUNCHY for me but after seeing Jack's comments, a creamy jar of peanut butter, some jalapenos and maybe a jar bottle of virgin olive oil, and a good bottle of wine, AHhh...I think it's bed time.
Mudjack

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: bbelle
Date: 23 Sep 99 - 12:32 AM

It is obvious I am in the company of a bunch of rogues! And to think I've got to spend time with some of you, in close proximity, at The Getaway. Of course, I contend that you're all a bunch of pussy cats in person! We'll see who can find bhe biggest tub of peter (pan) peanut butter to bring to The Getaway ... says moonchild withtongueincheekandherfreudianslipshowingabout10inches

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: Bill D
Date: 23 Sep 99 - 12:45 AM

ummm...I DO have a HUGE collection of old National Lampoons...but don't remember Cheech as part of that....

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 Sep 99 - 01:22 AM

Cartoons Bill....in the back, last few pages.......circa1973-5

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: katlaughing
Date: 23 Sep 99 - 03:33 AM

Freudianslipatteninches!???MC??? Wotchout fellas, she's got you beat! Darn, wish I was gonna be there!

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 23 Sep 99 - 03:48 AM

I think we ought to spare a thought for all those wrteched unfortunates with a nut allergy - not only do they miss ouut on one of life's greatest pleasures (this discussion), but they don't get to try the stuff either!

Steve

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: Bert
Date: 23 Sep 99 - 09:25 AM

Freudianslipatteninches!???MC??? Wotchout fellas, she's got you beat.

Size doesn't matter

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: katlaughing
Date: 23 Sep 99 - 11:25 AM

Ah, Bert, that's what you men say!Heeheehee

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: lamarca
Date: 23 Sep 99 - 11:27 AM

Ahh, Cheech Wizard was one of my favorites..."Can I cut, Doc?, Com'on, lemme cut..."

I also loved Gahan Wilson's "Nutz" - those poor kids predated South Park's nasties by 30 years, and were a lot funnier...

Oops, thread creep - I'm glad to see I'm not the only one with too much time on my hands. I go on a lot of natural history field trips (birdwatching, butterfly watching, snake watching...) and my favorite field trip bag lunch is a couple of PBJ sandwiches with Jif Crunchy and blueberry jelly - no need to refrigerate 'em and they taste better when they're slightly squished...My husband likes peanut butter and bacon sandwiches, and one of my perverse favorites is peanut butter, Hellman's mayonnaise (NOT Miracle Whip) and American cheese...

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 23 Sep 99 - 11:52 PM

G'day Bill D,

Not that it matters too much to me ... but the goodwife says: "What do you mean Australian Leatherwood!!! It is Tasmanian - not found on the north island.

Regard(les)s,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: BS:Creamy vs.Crunchy:religious question?
From: DonMeixner
Date: 24 Sep 99 - 12:40 AM

Spaw,

As a collector of original comic art I can tell you that you will find art by the late Vaughn Bode for sale on ebay from time to time. It ain't cheep! Several hundred dollars for a lampoon panel is not uncommon.

Don