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BS: oh bugger!

Morticia 19 Oct 00 - 02:39 PM
GUEST,Albamist 19 Oct 00 - 02:48 PM
Catrin 19 Oct 00 - 02:52 PM
Biskit 19 Oct 00 - 02:58 PM
Dave (the ancient mariner) 19 Oct 00 - 02:58 PM
wysiwyg 19 Oct 00 - 03:03 PM
SINSULL 19 Oct 00 - 03:19 PM
Amergin 19 Oct 00 - 03:27 PM
bflat 19 Oct 00 - 03:30 PM
mousethief 19 Oct 00 - 03:33 PM
wysiwyg 19 Oct 00 - 03:33 PM
McGrath of Harlow 19 Oct 00 - 03:37 PM
katlaughing 19 Oct 00 - 03:39 PM
Bert 19 Oct 00 - 03:48 PM
McGrath of Harlow 19 Oct 00 - 04:04 PM
jeffp 19 Oct 00 - 04:06 PM
Eric the Viking 19 Oct 00 - 04:09 PM
SINSULL 19 Oct 00 - 04:30 PM
WyoWoman 19 Oct 00 - 04:39 PM
Jolly 19 Oct 00 - 04:49 PM
catspaw49 19 Oct 00 - 05:25 PM
CarolC 19 Oct 00 - 05:27 PM
campfire 19 Oct 00 - 05:42 PM
katlaughing 19 Oct 00 - 06:14 PM
Hollowfox 19 Oct 00 - 06:22 PM
SINSULL 19 Oct 00 - 06:28 PM
okthen 19 Oct 00 - 06:40 PM
Noreen 19 Oct 00 - 06:54 PM
Liz the Squeak 19 Oct 00 - 07:05 PM
Jim Dixon 19 Oct 00 - 07:09 PM
Rollo 19 Oct 00 - 07:28 PM
catspaw49 19 Oct 00 - 07:43 PM
Troll 19 Oct 00 - 08:30 PM
Little Hawk 19 Oct 00 - 09:07 PM
wysiwyg 19 Oct 00 - 09:37 PM
Terry K 20 Oct 00 - 04:19 AM
Morticia 20 Oct 00 - 04:20 AM
Llanfair 20 Oct 00 - 04:53 AM
KingBrilliant 20 Oct 00 - 05:39 AM
Fin 20 Oct 00 - 05:49 AM
Mark Cohen 20 Oct 00 - 06:11 AM
McGrath of Harlow 20 Oct 00 - 07:49 AM
Noreen 20 Oct 00 - 08:01 AM
wysiwyg 20 Oct 00 - 11:14 AM
wysiwyg 20 Oct 00 - 11:27 AM
Morticia 20 Oct 00 - 01:22 PM
Terry K 20 Oct 00 - 06:44 PM
Skipjack K8 20 Oct 00 - 07:18 PM
Morticia 20 Oct 00 - 08:15 PM
okthen 20 Oct 00 - 08:51 PM
WyoWoman 20 Oct 00 - 10:08 PM
Noreen 20 Oct 00 - 11:08 PM
katlaughing 20 Oct 00 - 11:43 PM
Mark Cohen 21 Oct 00 - 08:32 AM
Morticia 21 Oct 00 - 10:39 AM
catspaw49 21 Oct 00 - 11:00 AM
McGrath of Harlow 21 Oct 00 - 12:12 PM
catspaw49 21 Oct 00 - 12:17 PM
Hollowfox 24 Oct 00 - 05:42 PM
McGrath of Harlow 25 Oct 00 - 08:09 AM
Ebbie 25 Oct 00 - 04:47 PM
Richard Bridge 25 Oct 00 - 06:24 PM
harpgirl 25 Oct 00 - 06:46 PM
Morticia 26 Oct 00 - 12:50 PM
Liz the Squeak 26 Oct 00 - 03:23 PM
GUEST,f/k/a Midchuck 26 Oct 00 - 04:27 PM
harpgirl 26 Oct 00 - 04:45 PM
Morticia 26 Oct 00 - 04:52 PM
Morticia 26 Oct 00 - 04:56 PM

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Subject: oh bugger!
From: Morticia
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 02:39 PM

I have just had the day from Hell! Most of you know I'm a social worker right? And most days have a certain taint of sulphur but today.....oh boy!
First a service user in residential care ( i.e. local authority care i.e. MY care) gets assaulted by another service user and I can't get hold of the parents to tell them this has happened.Then I attend a meeting which tells me all about why I have no more money to spend....ever.......and in fact must get some back ( no suggestions as to how, of course) and then I go to visit a house which even environmental health won't enter.I go in walking and come out crawling ( with little visitors who are decidedly unwelcome).
I have another home visit after that during which I'm afraid to sit down in case I spread my newly acquired 'friends' but cannot explain why, as it would be unprofessional......so they now think I'm quite mad.
I go home, strip as soon as I've closed the front door and head straight for the shower where a closer inspection reveals I am a mass of little red bites.
Please, somebody tell me that their job sucks worse than mine!


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: GUEST,Albamist
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 02:48 PM

Maybe it is just me, but your thread struck a chord (or should that be your chord struck a thread). Why are people being called service users? Why are patients in hospitals now called customers? Why are students in educational establishments now called clients? I hanker after the good old days when a manhole cover was simply a manhole cover. P.S. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Catrin
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 02:52 PM

Oh Morticia, your thread rang true for me as well. That feeling of hopelessness...

Remember why you're doing the work you do.

Remember those moments when someone smiles at you when you never expected them to.

Remember the joy on the face of someone who says you've changed their life......

Treat yourself to something nice, put your favourite music on and forget about today until tomorrow.

Peace,

Catrin


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Biskit
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 02:58 PM

Oh Morti I'm sorry 'bout your dreadful day. Here's a GREAT BIG HUG comin' atcha from the USA. READY,...CATCH! -Biskit-


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 02:58 PM

Earl Grey tea and a glass of brandy for you Morty... What a day you had lass. Hope tomorrow you will see something rewarding; to remind you of how very valuable your work is. Make it so! Yours, Aye. Dave


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 03:03 PM

Morty, we meet at last on ground we can share easily.

Mine sucks so bad I stopped noticing that and it helped make me very, very ill.

My last day is supposed to be next week.

I do not think the smell of sulphur is accidental.

However I do believe it is temporary.

I'm so far past burnout I can't even see where to start to tell you about it.

Hopefully I have said enough though that you can see at least that you aren't alone.

Today I called up the lady whose job it was I took three years ago when she had had enough, and told her how well I understand everything now. She laughed like a banshee, and we are meeting next week or the week after for a few wet ones of some sort. We figure on stopping by with a bus to pick up people who know what we mean. Care to join us?

Funny thing is I gave notice in April of my own accord and out of love for the organization, seeing it was time for new leadership, as had been part of my strategic plan as their interim. As stated when hired as such. As I promised regional officials to work myself out of a job by building the ranks around me. As I did. Beautifully.

And they been trying to drive me out ever since I gave notice, when I going anyhow, but they can't seem to get my replacement hired and in place to train.

See? It does suck. Maybe not more than yours but isn;t it better to suck equally so we can be peers?

Oops, maybe I am ahead. All this for $8 an hour $US.

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 03:19 PM

Ladies,
This belongs in the "Oneupmanship" thread. Morticia, I am sorry about the fleas but I think the lady who personally tests every Q-Tip rectal thermometer still has the worst job.


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Amergin
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 03:27 PM

Oh, Morty, I'd give you a hug, but I'm afraid of coming home with some of your new pets....

Amergin


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: bflat
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 03:30 PM

Morticia,

I admire you for your work dispite the inherent difficulty.

Sincere good wishes for more inner strength.

:) bflat


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: mousethief
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 03:33 PM

Morti, I'd give you a hug except for those -- um --

Hey, your job is a very vital and important job and I'm in awe of anyone who can do that heart-wrenching of a job day-in and day-out. May God bless you richly! You're a winner in my book.

I'm sorry your day was such a bad one. I'm sure you'll have better ones, hopefully very soon.

prophylactic hugs,
Alex
O..O
=o=


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 03:33 PM

I'll hug her!!!

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 03:37 PM

Yeah, it's a bugger sometimes Morticia. But being a social worker beats needing a social worker.

And I know that from being in both situations.

But if it's fleas you're talking about, they don't care whether you're sitting or standing, so you might as well sit once your in. But it might be better saying "Sorry, I can't come in because I've got fleas" - which might be embarrassing, but it wouldn't be unprofessional. And it would cut out the risk of someone phoning up complaining that their social worker has given them fleas... Naah, that won't happen, don't worry.

There are good bits too. Mainly when you find a way to force your department to unlock the money to pay for something one of your people needs. There's always a way, if you don't care about being loved by your bosses.


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: katlaughing
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 03:39 PM

Oh, puir Mortee, sorry, luv. Great big HUG and SNOG!!!

luvyakat


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Bert
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 03:48 PM

Bugger the fleas!!! Or maybe leave that job to Spaw.

Don't worry Morty Love, Here's a big snog for ya. Won't be long before you're laughing at today.

Bert.


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 04:04 PM

Of course what you should really do is get to see the director of social services and take the fleas. And leave them...


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: jeffp
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 04:06 PM

Great idea of McGrath's. Here's a hug for you Morty, because you need it AND deserve it.

jeffp


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 04:09 PM

Hi Morticia, My wife has the same sort of day quite often. Entering houses where environmental won't go and bringing home little visitors. She/we also at present have the threat of being "found" by the dad of one of her little ones who is under child protection, he found the car of the last contact supervisor, followed it and her back to the foster carer and smashed the car up while she was returning the kids to the carer.Then returned later to the carers house and smashed that up as well.

I also teach some of those kids who come from homes like that. One bright spot! At least if you've got a rotten cold.("Llanstock b flat virus") you could take a day off.

Cheers.

Eric.


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 04:30 PM

Morty,
I used to use this in some training sessions with potential foster parents and also Girl Scout leaders.
Picture a jar filled with fleas. Watch them jump. What happens? One jumps and hits his head; then another. Sooner or later they all get the message: You can only jump so high and then you're going to get slammed on the head. Now take the lid off. What happens. Usually the first reaction I get is "they will all jump out." Then it will dawn on one of the group that the fleas won't jump any higher than just below the top of the jar. They know their limits.
Our children are just like the fleas. They go to school that first day all excited and someone raps them on the head: "You can't be good at math-you're a girl";"You can't be a doctor, you're black"; You can't be..., you're too tall or too fat or too blond or not blond enough or too stupid or too smart..." The world is always ready to set limits on us and on our children. Someone is always eager to rap us on the head and see to it that you don't jump too high. Our job as adults, parents, leaders, etc. is to take off the lid and convince the fleas to jump as high as they can.
I guess you're too good at your job, Morty. You got them jumping all over you.
Smile. Tomorrow will be better.
Mary


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 04:39 PM

Hey, Darlin' -- Here's a big ol' Rocky Mountain hug avec snog comin' atcha. No. My job, at least today, is nowhere near as sucky as that. I won't even throw my hat in the ring.

But you know the old John Denver song ...

Somedays are diamonds
Somedays just suck
Somedays you want them all
To take a flying f ...

hmmphf... seems like it was sumpfin like that ... ...

Love and rockets, WW


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Jolly
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 04:49 PM

Morticia, I'll hug you, fleas and all, if it'll help. Maybe I should see the blessings in not HAVING a job. (I can start looking soon, as soon as the cast comes off my arm and I can drive again.)

I hope at least some of your days are better, and that at least SOME of the people appreciate what you do and what you have to go through.

Kim


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 05:25 PM

Mort my dear........I know. Big Hug. But if not you, then who? We're on hiatus now and we'll be back reinvolved somehow in a few years after the boys get a bit more one on one.......But for almost ten years, Karen and I said that almost daily at times......If not us, then who? Still sucks though. SO..........How about a couple of varmint stories?

I had never had any experience with lice until we got into foster care. Within a year, we were experts on extermination. We had one little girl with this beautiful long brown hair who was a lice magnet. We'd been in it for 4 or 5 years at that point, so we were pretty calm, but after awhile I began to think we would have to shave her bald....and then I wondered if even that would work. Her hair was so thick that we were treating her at least once every 4 days for about 6 weeks and even then we were still finding them. BUT.....No one else in the house had them during that time, including her sister who slept with her!!! The lice knew a good deal when they saw it I guess. I did consider buying stock in Nix.

I was doing a training session with my friend Marlin and she had a great feel for getting a group involved so we worked well together and folks were pretty loose. We were discussing the baggage attached to parental/home visits which as you know tend to screw the kids up a lot and they return with more problems. After a brief and excellent lead-in, Marlin flipped her easel pad to a fresh page and said, "Okay now.....When you send the kids home for a visit, what do they come back with?" From the back table came the obvious answer......"LICE!" We laughed for years over that.

Had a 16 year old male, very gothic, come into the system straight from court. The caseworker, Jenny, and I went to the house to meet Mom and try to get some things picked up and set up some visitation. In the meantime, Karen was attending to the details and wait at the detention center. Jenny had a brand new Toyota (like 2 days old) and when we arrived at the "house" to find something inhabitable only by aging chickens. If the outside wasn't bad enough, the inside was completely hideous....I can't begin to describe it. Amongst the trash littering the floor and furniture(?) were many cans of RAID and bottles of assorted bug killers mixed with lots of lice remedies. We talked to Mom for awhile and I noticed that I was starting to itch badly. Looking at Jenny, she was too. Mom insisted on bagging his clothes (all dirty) but had no ties and the bags were ripped anyhow. We went out to the car and poor Jenny had no choice. We talked and laughed about it going to our house, but I did feel for her. A new car on a Caseworker's pay is no small thing. I won't get into the details of what it took to rid that boy of varmints, but it was a progigious effort!!!

Love you Terri......Best today, but better tomorrow....Uncle Pat


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: CarolC
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 05:27 PM

Morticia, my job is not worst than yours. I'm a student. I only have to take the abuse temporarily, then I'm off until the next sememster.

I hope things improve for you soon.

Best wishes,

Carol


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: campfire
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 05:42 PM

Morticia, I can sympathise. I work with animals, and often pick up "temporary passengers". Fortunately, most of them are fairly species-specific and leave before getting comfy. I guess I don't taste like Yak.

campfire


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: katlaughing
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 06:14 PM

No fleas at high altitude. When we drove out here on our move from New England, we watched them literally fall off the critters and die. I am rethinking my plans to emigrate to the UK!**BG**

Hope you're doing better, darlin'.


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Hollowfox
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 06:22 PM

((((((hug))))) How about a long, hot, soaky bath tonight? You in your tub, and I in mine. My good thoughts go with you. Mary


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 06:28 PM

Scented candles, ladies. Maybe a nice soothing vanilla or lavender.


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: okthen
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 06:40 PM

keep on keepin' on morticia, these people need you and people like you, it's autumn, the lowering of the sap, i wish you the strength to carry on to rise again in the spring.

cheers

bill


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Noreen
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 06:54 PM

Oh bu**er indeed- I sent you a nice message further up the thread but it got chewed up between here & there. Have a late hug now anyway, {{{Morty}}}, and some hydrocortisone cream for the itchy bits. I'm thinking about you.

Noreen


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 07:05 PM

Got the nit comb here, if it works for headlice, it has to work for fleas - funny that, was just using it on the cat for that very same problem, when I read this.... hope the lid is screwed on again, if it will make you laugh, then bear this in mind - I've just been filmed singing and smiling and bobbing about like Stevie Wonder on speed..... in my scary flowery shirt that cost me £2.50 in a service station in Spain...... With so many spiky things in my hair, I looked like the millennium dome!

Hope things are better, if not, we have the wherewithalls....

XXX

Liz


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 07:09 PM

Sorry, Morticia, I can't tell you MY job is worse than yours is, but I'll tell you about the worst job I ever heard of -

I once knew a woman who told me she had worked for the medical college at the local university as a "gynecology model". She was the woman on whom all the medical students practiced performing pelvic exams, before they were allowed to touch real patients.

On inquiring about this, I also learned that there are such things as "proctology models" - and men who allow their prostates to be probed and palpated for the same purpose.

(Can you guess I had fun writing this?)

(I can't wait to see what Spaw will make of it.)


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Rollo
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 07:28 PM

Morticia, best wishes from a german social worker. I know exactly what you mean. Money is growing shorter and shorter to the limit of closing down environments and further. The city department a**holes are less than help. and everyday you look at your kids and think "hey, why do I do this crap, it seems fruitless anyway..."

On of my worst days was when we came out of the weekend to find out someone had broken into the house saturday night. police had arrested him still inside, he had been drunk and robbed about DM 60.- after smashing a window. Later I learned who did it... a former member of a notorious youth burglar trio sent to us by court. For ten years he hadn'd committed anything, and in the meanwhile he had become a helping hand in the house. He was the one and only youth in our house I ever had thought to be "cured" from his career as a criminal.


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 07:43 PM

LMAO......Jim, with lines like those nothing more NEEDS be made of them. How do you tell your friends what you do?

What do you do?
I'm a model.
Really? How nice. A fashion model?
Uh, yeah, well, after a fashion.
I've always thought I'd make a good model.
Well you are an assh.....er,uh...... yeah, sure...
Do you get a feeling of satisfaction?
Oh I get a lot of feelings.
Could you show me some poses?
...uh...well...Not right now.
You know it would be really nice to have you show our group about modeling.
Don't think I really want to turn up for that kind of thing.
My son is so handsome. Do you think he should look into this?
Yeah, I can have somebody look him up alright.

Jim, I have a close friend who went back to college at age 46 to be a PA. Three years ago after my by-pass, he was in school still and doing his clinicals and asked me if he could use me as a guinea pig. No "probing" or anything, but a physical of sorts. So we do the whole thing and he has to do the bending leg/leg swelling thing so we go to the den and I'm strtched out wearing gym shorts. He's got on a tie, lab jacket, etc. bending over me, on his knees listening to my heart. As it happens, "Rocky Horror" is on the tube....Do you see the picture in your mind? Yeah, of course, you got it....In walk a couple of my teenage foster kids and their friends. They look at me, look at Wayne, look at the TV.............Luckily, they understood......I think.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Troll
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 08:30 PM

Mortee...You might try sprinkling the tops of your shoes with flowers of sulphur before you go into one of those houses. The stuff repells ticks and chiggers (redbugs) so maybe it'll repell fleas too.
I'm retired but my Wife still teaches "special ed.". She was teaching in an inner city school in the middle of a project about 18 years ago. One day one of her most faithful students was absent and upon asking if anyone knew where he was, was told that his grandmother-with whom he had been living- had been killed by her boyfriend the night before while he watched. She came home in hysterics.
Another time, she had her class out on the playground. She heard a "popping" noise and turned to see most of the class on the ground and at that moment one of the bigger boys tackled her. Then she realized that the whizzing sounds were bullets going overhead. A drive-by shooying over drug turf. No one was hurt.
She now teaches in a rural county.
So heres a big hug. The work you do is vital. Would God that people appreciated it more.

troll


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 09:07 PM

Hey, Morticia, I hope tomorrow turns out to be better for you than today. At least you are in a job that is making a positive difference in some people's lives. Keep your chin up, and know that we Mudcatters are with you, in our own strange virtual fashion.


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Oct 00 - 09:37 PM

Aw, climb in my lap and have a good long cry,

then let's plot death.

Just pretend deaths,

just to laugh a bit with black humor, and giggle....

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Terry K
Date: 20 Oct 00 - 04:19 AM

Me, I'd quit. I can never understand how people in jobs like yours are able to carry on. I'm bloody glad I've never had to face such downers in my work. At the risk of sounding patronising, I'm eternally grateful that there are people strong enough to continue these vital roles, despite all the odds. Yes, I'm afraid I'd quit.

Love and kisses Terri from Terry


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Morticia
Date: 20 Oct 00 - 04:20 AM

Many, many thanks to all of you.....God, what would I do without you? I dropped in this morning before work hoping on or two people might have said something that would help me gird my lions (sic) for another day and just look at this wonderful response!
I am sorry for being such a great whiny girly girl last night but I really felt at the end of my rope, more if the truth be known about lack of resources than fleas (that's a standard hazard),but a good moan on here,a few large rum and cokes, a long soaky bath and a Mel Gibson movie fixed me right up.
So, here I go again...if not me, then who, right Uncle Pat? Wish me luck and know that today I'm going to be taking something really special with me.....all your good thoughts and wishes. Thank you again, I love you.
( oh and Praise? lets compare lists, bet mine is longer than yours!)


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Llanfair
Date: 20 Oct 00 - 04:53 AM

I only spotted this thread this morning, Terri, and I know EXACTLY what you mean. You will bounce back, horrible houses and "visitors" are all par for the course, as is aggression, being on standby, having to tell parents and carers that there are no places for their offspring, or that they don't fulfil the criteria for your specialism.
What finished me was there being no place for someone in a day service, when the building and refurbishment had cost a quarter of a million-plus.
I have no problem with real life, but bullshit burned me out.
I may be short of cash now, but I have peace of mind, and the time to use my skills to the advantage of the community- real or cyber......
Cheers, Bron.


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 20 Oct 00 - 05:39 AM

Well I was all pissed off with my job the other day just because someone told me to work better & faster (I already do my best, & my best is good). SO now I feel completely humble in the face of the real hassle that people like you face in your work..... I've got a cushy number, but you are accumulating good karma. I can't imagine doing that job, but I'm really glad that there are people who are prepared to take that stress. Good on ya - and I hope that you're feeling happier today, and that something really nice will happen to cheer you up.

See ya

Kris


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Fin
Date: 20 Oct 00 - 05:49 AM

My Darling Morticia, I love and admire you. It takes a very special person to do what you do on a daily basis. So you work for an Outta company? Outta luck, outta love, outta compassion, and worst outta MONEY! Hang in there, love, we'll ALL be thinking about you over the weekend, and your little craturs, jumping all over you! Shoot, now I'm scratching just thinking about it. Fin


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 20 Oct 00 - 06:11 AM

Morticia--
Last Monday I was on my way to meet with the prosecuting attorney to discuss my grand jury testimony in the case of the woman who starved her 2 month old to death (I had seen the baby as a newborn and at one week)...when I got a call from the radiologist telling me that my 6 month old former premie not only had a recent fracture of the femur, but also old fractures of both lower legs. And the judge let the father/abuser out on bail. Some days are like that. Fortunately very few. But today I saw another baby whose low thyroid condition was detected early by newborn screening, and thanks to prompt treatment will grow up healthy instead of severely retarded. I hope you have a few successes, too. Though I'm sure it's often difficult to remember, many people are much better off because of you. I'm glad you folks are there.

Here's a song I wrote 12 years ago, for you: Help for the Helper

Aloha,
Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 20 Oct 00 - 07:49 AM

That link didn't work for me Mark. It came up unobtainable several times in a row. So, could you do it again, because that sounds like it might be a handy song...

What really pisses me off is the way, the more we have, the wealthier we collectively get, the less willing we are to share it...But that's for another thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Noreen
Date: 20 Oct 00 - 08:01 AM

Lovely words, Mark- do you have a tune for it?

Noreen


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Oct 00 - 11:14 AM

Mortilicious,

Your list will only be longer because next week, God willing, I'LL BE OUTTA HERE.

However we can always look back fondly-- feel free to PM or e-mail me most rantaciously!

(BTW, it isn't whining or whinging to holler I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP!)

Oh, and about that being a helper thing. You know it's your calling. Be just as bad anywhere else. Know why? Because you care. And without that none of the job stuff would bother you. You'd be numb, you'd sell out, you'd quit, or you'd be less than your whole self. So sucky as this is, whatever else you would do-- sorry darlin', learned it the hard way-- it would suck just as much.

I KNOW you know that. Thing is, if that's true-- you have to amp up the self-care routines even more than you already have. No one who is changing the world has yet learned how well they have to take care of themselves. So-- do better, OK???? (Yeah I know you're fine. I am too. We need to be FINER.)

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Oct 00 - 11:27 AM

This is a present in Morticia's honor.

In this thread:

http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=21290

... there were a lot of snogs flung about. I think I had started doing them in the Tavern, and I made a little emoticon for them. Mortie reminds me so much of the idea behind that thread, I started thinking how some of the more outrageous encouragers and friend-lovers around here ought to band together once in awhile and sort of mega-snog the whole Mudcat. (I have some ideas who'd be on that dream team, too, and you may hear from me.)

So here's the emoticon I used:

} : ~ *>

See the kiss off to the side? Kiss on the cheek.

I used that for it because the best virtual kiss I ever got was just a giant glowing asterisk, in my e-mail, and I thought, well, asterisks are already taken at the Mudcat for other meanings, so what to do... and that's how it got made.

I think they must have gotten taken as something I do in particular-- but I hereby bequeath the symbol to Mortie to aid her in her snogging pursuits, as one of my last acts on this work computer, to one and all, to use as ye see fit.

Of course you may all feel free as well.

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Morticia
Date: 20 Oct 00 - 01:22 PM

Mark, that is a terrific song and I'm taking it into work tomorrow ( yeah, I know it's Saturday but what are you going to do?) to pin up on the notice board.Fin darling,thanks for your message but please don't tell my mother, I don't like her to know how rough it can get and besides......she'll come and disinfect my house when she gets back!And don't you love the way I've spread the word snog into common usage amongst our international brethren? ( people should know that Fin is my aunt and lives in Hawaii).


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Terry K
Date: 20 Oct 00 - 06:44 PM

Fin lives in Hawaii??? - Mark, don't you live in Hawaii too? Your posts are next to each other - come on, what's going on.

On a serious note, Mark, I clicked on your song and as I read it I started singing it a la Leonard Cohen (only not perhaps quite as good)- surely it could'nt have been meant that way, that would be too much coincidence for one night.

Cheers, Terry


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 20 Oct 00 - 07:18 PM

Terri, mining away at the coalface of capitalism, I can no more empathise with you than fly to the moon, but I do respect you and sympathise that your commitment isn't being anywhere near matched by those spineless gets in the Treasury.

The modern TV vogue for sending the boss to the shop floor for a day would be splendid filmed on your manor. Funny how this thread makes one itch involuntarily!

Hopefully, as it's a day behind you, it's now in your arsenal of 'tales to tell'.

Keep yer chin up, Mrs. We all love you.

Skipjack


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Morticia
Date: 20 Oct 00 - 08:15 PM

thank you Skip, and you are right......I keep refusing promtion because I can see that you quickly forget what it is actually like........wouldn't it be great if the 'management'( and their rubber chickens) could be made to remember?


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: okthen
Date: 20 Oct 00 - 08:51 PM

morty am a carer some days are better than others (is a pint glass, with half a pint poured in, half full or half empty) 24 7 and i've got it easy, compared to altheimezer's partners

friday night 2 a.m.

am as relaxed as a newt

will start again tommorow

cheers

bill


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 20 Oct 00 - 10:08 PM

Relaxed as a newt? I shall steal this instantly.

Hang in, Morti.

ww


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Noreen
Date: 20 Oct 00 - 11:08 PM

ww- I liked your phrase on HearMe about preferring to eat a bucket of hair than get married again- did I hear correctly? (Sorry for the thread side-step, Mortee, thought you might like the expression too!)

Noreen


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: katlaughing
Date: 20 Oct 00 - 11:43 PM

This is Micca's "Fin," then whose joined us?!! Welcome to the Mudcat, Fin!!

Mark, you brought tears to my eyes, as you often do when you share one of your songs. My girlfriend who is a paralegal just got done with a case of a little girl being kicked to death by her mother and social services missing it. They found her 8 months after, in the garage in a bag.

"Some days are diamonds, some days are rust"

Dearest Mortee, you've a heart like a lotus blossum, wide open and full of the perfume of love and compassion; remember to savour some for yourself, too, darlin'....

luvyakat


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 21 Oct 00 - 08:32 AM

Another Hawaiian Mudcatter? Where? (Hilo here. I seem to recall Micca had a relative in Pahoa...)

Morticia, glad the song was/is helpful. I will try some time to post the tune, but it will take more time on Noteworthy Composer than I have at the moment. Thanks, Terry, I suppose the tune is a bit in his style, but that wasn't in my mind when I wrote it. No relation, by the way.

Aloha,
Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Morticia
Date: 21 Oct 00 - 10:39 AM

Fin is in Pearl City, Mark and I would love the tune when you get time.


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: catspaw49
Date: 21 Oct 00 - 11:00 AM

Yeah, y'all need to check out the nice thread that "Lotus Blossom" started for Aunt Fin.....Its called, "BS:Fin, I'm so Proud." I think it started out well enough but, uh........well.......You know how Mudcat is..............

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 21 Oct 00 - 12:12 PM

That's a good song Mark. Here something I did a few years back, from the same kind of feelings:

Ballade of Moderate Compassion

Poor Mrs Brown is sick and tired and old,
And Mr Jones is muddled in his brain,
And Mary's child is crying in the cold,
and John is sleeping in the wind and rain;
they look for rescue, but they look in vain.
No lifebelt comes, instead these words are hurled:
"Your case is hard, but no good to complain -
we are not living in A Perfect World."

You longed for sea and sands of shining gold,
you booked your holiday in Sunny Spain -
you should have gone by train, but you were told
"It's quicker and more pleasant on the plane".
A slight diversiion took you to Bahrein,
with blackened sands, where stinking oilslicks swirled,
you watch the seagulls down, and you explain
"We are not living in aA Perfect World."

The sky grows dark, the world is bought and sold.
Christ on his cross dies for his own again;
the shepherd falls, the wolf is in the fold,
and all around are cries of grief and pain.
You measure out your pity grain by grain,
your neat umbrella is so tightly furled.
In face of agony, your tired refrain -
"We are not living in A Perfect World."

Prince of a thousand forms that measure pain,
your comfortable lips in judgement curled,
God knows you'd not be here, that much is plain
if we were living in A Perfect World.

17th April 1993

Here is a note I wrote about this at the time:A ballade about complacent bureaucracy in "the caring professions" and elsewhere. I was a Social Worker for 20 years, and the phrase that always made my gorge rise was when colleagues (especially "senior colleagues") started saying things like "in an ideal world".

A phrase like that should of course indicate someone is going to explore the deep mysteries of life and death and tragedy. But in practice all it meant is that once again some poor "client" was going to get screwed by the system, and noone was going to make waves about it.

Rule of thumb - if a social worker or a politician says "in an ideal world" they aren't going to help. If they say "in a decent society" there's a chance they might. But what you really want is someone who believes that "No" is not an answer, it's just a negotiating position.


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: catspaw49
Date: 21 Oct 00 - 12:17 PM

Mark and Mac..........I am consistently impressed with the talent around here, but also pleasantly surprised when folks like you write songs like these about things that aren't commonly topics. Great job guys......and Thanks.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Hollowfox
Date: 24 Oct 00 - 05:42 PM

On a lighter note, re-reading this, and the question about the worst job brought back a memoryI remembered that time in my childhood that my (non-blood relative) Uncle Paul the Dragon opined that the worst job in the world was a sulky driver with a diarrheic horse. After all these years, I think I disagree.


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 25 Oct 00 - 08:09 AM

I'd reckon following such a horse with a hand plough would be the real limit. "This is too much - I'm going to run away and become a social worker..."

As the old army song goes:

We are the shit-shovellers,
shovelling shit on the shit parade

V (And then it breaks into They say that Hitler has only got one ball, but the DT misses out that prelude.


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 Oct 00 - 04:47 PM

Wow. Great songs.

Ebbie


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 25 Oct 00 - 06:24 PM

I respectfully suggest the real killer for UK social workers is that mostly they want to do their jobs right - but the heirarchy doesn't want the job done that well. It costs too much. So the shit rises to the top.


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: harpgirl
Date: 25 Oct 00 - 06:46 PM

...oh by the way Mort, I have been a social worker in mental health for twenty seven years. I know exactly what the kind of day you described is like. My AIDS patients are the ones I agonize the most over. Such a horrible way to die...It does make me feel better when I can support their self-determination by helping them meet goals like seeing their kids into adulthood. Let's hear it for the human spirit!!! Hip hip hooray!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Morticia
Date: 26 Oct 00 - 12:50 PM

Harpgirl, I also work 18 hours a week with HIV and Aids sufferers,and yes, I know what you mean. It's been an interesting contrast to cancer patients, the last great taboo illness perhaps?


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 26 Oct 00 - 03:23 PM

No. There will be others. AIDS and HiV is becomming passe, CJD will soon be swept under the carpet, and another will come along more horrible than the last.

Sorry.

LTS, whose views are not necessarily those as projected above. An illness like HiV can never be passe, but it has lost a lot of its momentum in the press, so interest just gets pushed elsewhere.


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: GUEST,f/k/a Midchuck
Date: 26 Oct 00 - 04:27 PM

And I suppose that if I pointed out the irony of the topic of this thread coming around to this particular problem, in light of the original title of the thread, I'd get yet another surge of flames from them who take their greatest pleasure in wallowing in political correctness and righteous indignation.

Peter.


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: harpgirl
Date: 26 Oct 00 - 04:45 PM

Not sure I understand your point Midchuck. Could you explain it more simply for me? (serious request) Oh wait I got it!!
However, the fastest growing segment of HIV infected individuals around (Florida) here is minority female heterosexuals. The rate of new infections for men has gone down fairly consistently because of education and protective behaviors.
I am not the PC type, even though I am a vocal feminist, but I have seen too many wonderful people die from this scourge to eak out a smile over your joke. No flames here, just sadness.
On one of the last days of his life, my last AIDS patient to die and I went to a local city lake to feed the big catfish. He was a gentle soul who loved figure skating and animals. He lovingly cared for his rats and kitties until his death! I salute him!


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Morticia
Date: 26 Oct 00 - 04:52 PM

I see the irony Midchuck and yep, got to grin.Most of the people I work with would smile too, believe me.Although Harp's right, highest rate of infection here in the UK is heterosexual people, but it's still climbing in all sectors.LIz, your point is well taken, the Government came in hard on PR that turned out to be alarmist and non-substantiated about 20 years ago. Since then , nary a peep and people think it's gone away.......it hasn't..... or it can be cured......it can't....or it doesn't affect young, middle class people living in the heart of Englands stockbroker belt........guess again.


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Subject: RE: BS: oh bugger!
From: Morticia
Date: 26 Oct 00 - 04:56 PM

I see the irony Midchuck and yep, got to grin.Most of the people I work with would smile too, believe me.Although Harp's right, highest rate of infection here in the UK is heterosexual people, but it's still climbing in all sectors.LIz, your point is well taken, the Government came in hard on PR that turned out to be alarmist and non-substantiated about 20 years ago. Since then , nary a peep and people think it's gone away.......it hasn't..... or it can be cured......it can't....or it doesn't affect young, middle class people living in the heart of Englands stockbroker belt........guess again.


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This Thread Is Closed.


Mudcat time: 7 May 2:38 AM EDT

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