Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Little Hawk Date: 29 Oct 00 - 08:35 PM What doggerel! What merrisome wit! I'm enjoying it more than a bit Amos waxing obscene Guests venting their spleen While old tradman can't rhyme tat with tit Actually, tradman's onto a good thing...limericks for the lazy...like:
There was a young man from Assizes Easy, isn't it? If a trifle pointless...hmmmm. Maybe not such a good idea after all. |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Geoff the Duck Date: 29 Oct 00 - 07:42 PM An old favourite was:- On the chest of a Barmaid from Sale Was tattoo'd all the prices of Ale And on her behind For the sake of the blind Was exactly the same - but in Braille |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: GUEST,the lone haranger Date: 29 Oct 00 - 02:09 PM There once was an aging folk singer Who caught his dick in a wringer Said he "It's no trouble, I'll simply redouble My efforts with tongue and with finger." |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: tradman Date: 29 Oct 00 - 01:39 PM There was a young man from St. Bees Who was stung in the arm by a wasp. When they asked, "Does it hurt?" He replied, "No, it doesn't. I'm so glad it wasn't a hornet." ---W.S.Gilbert |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Amos Date: 29 Oct 00 - 12:29 PM Remmeber the lady from Clyde Who ate so many apples, she died! The azpples fermented, Inside the lamented, An' made cider inside her inside! An ornery salesman, Pat Spaw, Regards, A. |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: CarolC Date: 29 Oct 00 - 09:50 AM Higgledy Piggledy Catspaw and Little Hawk Played in the threads while We watched in dismay We begged and cajoled them And threatened to scold them But still they continued Their dreadful display (hint hint, eh? How about some more limericks?) |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: CarolC Date: 25 Oct 00 - 10:29 PM Well, Amos, I can hardly sit down after what that bobbie did to my Bottam! |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Amos Date: 25 Oct 00 - 07:13 PM ====musta brought down the house, I guess... no-one's standing up! |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Amos Date: 24 Oct 00 - 08:50 PM There once was a lass very crude Who strode down the street in the nude! When a bobbie said, "What am Agnificent Bottam!" And smacked it as hard as he coould! A naughty young fairy named Broome Regards, A |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: GUEST,FlashGordon Date: 24 Oct 00 - 06:12 PM Since these have all been in questionable taste, thought I'd add an oldie from the 60's. A handsome young man named McSweeney, Accidentally spilled Gin on his wienie. He wasn't uncouth, Just added Vermouth; Then slipped his date a Martini.
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Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Amos Date: 23 Oct 00 - 06:33 PM This clamor of peckers' a pain! We have sung it again and again! Let us open our eyes To see Spaw-man as wise And discourse on the size of his brain! |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Micca Date: 23 Oct 00 - 04:43 PM I see that its happening 'Spaw Though it must be against Mudcat law the size of your dong is a matter of song Little Hawk,thats another faux pas. Sorry for the No line breaks above... |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Micca Date: 23 Oct 00 - 04:18 PM I see that its happening 'Spaw Though it must be against Mudcat law the size of your dong is a matter of song Little Hawk, thats another faux pas. |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: zander (inactive) Date: 23 Oct 00 - 02:50 PM Well spotted Little Hawk, that will teach me to be silly bunt. luv Dave |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Little Hawk Date: 22 Oct 00 - 08:20 PM Good for you, Amos. I wouldn't have thought of Spaw's dong either, had I not opened this thread. Curse you, Amos!
I'm tired of Spaw's false pretences |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Rollo Date: 22 Oct 00 - 08:19 PM there was a man from Skibbereen his verses vere never obscene but sounding so pretty extremely witty and no-one was int'rested in!
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Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Amos Date: 22 Oct 00 - 04:00 PM Away from the throng's madding thrall, In an old motel in Montreal, I report with delight, That I get through the night Without thinking of Spaw's dong at all! |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Little Hawk Date: 22 Oct 00 - 09:50 AM Come on, Zander! What does a guy who can't even spell the word "don't" know about limericks? |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Midchuck Date: 22 Oct 00 - 09:36 AM Actually, Edward Gorey has written quite a few clean limericks - weird as hell, but clean - which are quite funny. But he's one of the few who have managed it. Peter. |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: CarolC Date: 22 Oct 00 - 09:08 AM Little Hawk, I hope you know that you are a very funny man. zander, I don't know how you can say that. Most of the limericks on the part 1 thread were about Spaw's prodigious member. Six feet long, if I remember correctly. I think that's pretty obscene. Carol |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: zander (inactive) Date: 22 Oct 00 - 05:48 AM You do'nt call that load of rubbish limericks, the folklorist the Reverend Sabine Baring Gould define limericks thus: limericks that can be told when women are present, limericks that can be told when women are absent but clergymen are present and LIMERICKS. All proper limericks are obscene, read the American folklorist Gershon Legman as well as Baring Gould, meanwhile: The Limerick is furtive and mean You must keep it in close quarantine Or it sneeks to the slums And promptly becomes Disorderly, drunk and obscene Luv Dave |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Little Hawk Date: 22 Oct 00 - 01:45 AM You and Spaw seem to both be under the impression that I smoke. Not so. I have developed the ability to become incoherent entirely without the aid of artificial or natural substances, legal or illegal. Pretty cool, eh? I am willing to give lessons if you've got the cash. By the way, got two twenties for a ten? I'll even give you Canadian for American, cos I'm just an old softy... |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: CarolC Date: 22 Oct 00 - 01:27 AM Hi, Little Hawk. In my previous post on this thread, I have included a link to both Part 1, and Part 2. Check it out. You are now in Part 3. What have you been smoking tonight? (Can I have some?) Carol |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Little Hawk Date: 22 Oct 00 - 01:21 AM Funny, Carol. I seem to have launched this one prematurely. Sorry. Got lost somewhere in the maze of threads. Could you now post a link back to Part 2? I don't quite know how to do that... |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: CarolC Date: 21 Oct 00 - 10:50 PM Limericks, anyone? part one part two |
Subject: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Little Hawk Date: 21 Oct 00 - 10:23 PM How many root beers does it take To extinguish the dolorous ache Of a day without nookie Or a mistaken cookie That causes Spaw's windlass to break? |
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