BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Nov 03 - 12:36 PM

Hey! Was talking to a good friend today, and this is how he gets rid of telemarketers:

First he says he has to have their SIN number and their credit card number (and expiry date) before he will talk to them! This invariably causes them to hang up.

He says that if you should get one who doesn't hang up, but persists, you just keep insisting on the above. If he then does give you those numbers (highly unlikely), you ask him to give you his home phone number and complete address. Then say that you will call him back as soon as you have verified the information, thank him, and hang up.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Nov 03 - 08:10 PM

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Those are the funniest 2 articles I've read in a lot time. Ah, sweet revenge... :-) Thanks for the links, Marion. The numbers of all telemarketing agencies should be made public so that the ordinary public can pester them to death for a change.

My phone number? You gotta be kidding, Marion! I don't give my phone number out recklessly like that. Besides, I don't answer the stupid thing most of the time anyway, so you'd probably just get the Bell answering service instead of me.

I started the only-say-"hello"-once routine after hearing other people going, "Hello? Hello? Hello? Is anybody there? Hello?" on and on and on for a minute or more...I can't believe how people let these things hook them and control them like that. Why entertain a crank caller by doing the most obvious thing possible?

Once I said "hello"...and heard nothing. I waited silently for maybe 15 seconds. Then I said: "Whats the matter? Cat got your tongue?" They hung up immediately! :-)

I think sometimes it's someone who has dialed a wrong number, and they're so paralyzed at the unexpected sound of a stranger's voice that they freeze up and don't know what to do...whatever it is, I mess with their minds if I'm in the mood.

Sometimes I start singing a song too, something inane like "To All The Girls I've Loved Before" or "Havin' My Baby". They invariably hang up within a few bars.

Not enough people out there with a good imagination if you ask me. You gotta break the pattern periodically to keep things fresh.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: Marion
Date: 15 Nov 03 - 06:34 PM

PM me your phone number, LH, I want to make a prank call. Sounds cool.

Here's a relevant Dave Barry column: Ask not what telemarketers can do for you

and the follow-up column So what's their hangup?"

Marion

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Nov 03 - 05:50 PM

Lovely. You know, it amazes me what people will subject themselves to for a paycheck. Sheer lack of imagination is one of the real problems in this world, and lack of self-confidence to come up with something better you could do than enslave yourself to a telemarketing company.

I knew a young guy in Orillia who was hooked on sales as a way to make a living. He tried everything. He tried Amway and other network marketing schemes. He was convinced he was going to make it big and get rich. It didn't happen. 10 years later I meet him, and he looks badly deteriorated from the lean young guy he was. "What are you doing this days?" I ask him. "I'm in telemarketing," he replies. My gut reeled in horror. "How do you like it?" I asked. "Oh, it's fine," he said...he always says that about everything he's doing.

How can it be fine to sit with a phone 8 hours a day, calling up and pestering people (most of whom absolutely hate hearing from you), and getting paid nothing but commission on the few miserable sales you actually make!

No wonder he looks so threadbare...

I think it's shameful. Slavery is what it is, just like driving a taxi in Orillia (where you are on the road for 12 hours a day or night, and come home with less than minimum wage in your pocket at the end of that day or night).

This society is not run by the people for the people. It's run by the robber barons for themselves.

- LH

p.s. "Meisenheimer" is easy to pronounce...if you like German.

p.p.s. I also get occasional calls from people who say absolutely nothing. I say "hello" once, and then just sit there and listen...and listen...and listen...to the silence. It freaks 'em right out! After awhile they can't handle it, and they hang up. LOL!

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: Marion
Date: 15 Nov 03 - 05:33 PM

Once I picked up the phone when I was working at somebody's house and I said, "Hello, __________ residence" (a common Jewish name).

It was a telemarketer, so I said, "Sorry, not interested," and he said, "Then go fuck yourself, Jew."

(And, no, it wasn't possible to get their number with *69).

Marion

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: SINSULL
Date: 15 Nov 03 - 02:21 PM

I think John in Kansas has solved my mystery. Someone gave my phone number to a collection agent who keeps calling asking for John Somebody. I have told him repeatedly that there is no John at this number but he doesn't believe me. These recorded calls must be the next step in trying to recover some money.

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: Mr Red
Date: 15 Nov 03 - 12:54 PM

The Amrican initiative on these things has had a surprising side effect - they are calling us in the UK. I have subscribed to the "DO NOT CALL" list here and even if eligible am probably too late to get on the american list. They gave a British free number to cal but I wiped the message by accident before I could waste there money some reminding them of our law here. I am ready with the amorlite rifle for next time.

OK?

Well they are legal in the US aren't they?

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Nov 03 - 12:12 PM

You could have dialed *69 five minutes after that, and done the same back to him.... (I am reminded of old Laurel & Hardy movies...)

Well, in my system, of course, we would track that fellow down, arrest him, and have him breaking rocks in the gulag for a few years. His cell would be equipped with a telephone which would ring 850 times a day, and it would always be someone he never heard of trying to sell him something he didn't need. At the end of his period of incarceration, he would be allowed to smash up the telephone with his rock-breaking hammer...or eat it.

(the above is a joke, I hope you understand)

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: GUEST,Van
Date: 15 Nov 03 - 12:06 PM

I'm registered with the telephone preference service which means I shouldn't be pestered by telesales people. One evening I got a call from a firm wishing to renew my kitchen. I explain that they should not be calling as I was registered and they were breaking the law. Click on other end of line. Few minutes later phone goes again and a strangely familiar voice tells me to fuck off. All charms these sales men.

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Nov 03 - 11:53 AM

Yeah! I'm with you Clinton. Destroy the buggers utterly, I say!

I mean, hey, Mafia hoodlums need jobs too (sob, sob)...those guys who sell poor old ladies a $350 vacuum cleaner for $3000 need jobs too (sniff!)...

To hell with them all.

If I were in government I would make telemarketing illegal. Right now. All of it. It is rendering the telephone into a useless device of harassment. It's invasion of people's privacy without their consent, and should be treated as such.

The pity of it is that a society exists where people are driven to do stuff this useless just to scrape up a few lousy bucks, when there are a tremendous number of badly needed things NOT being done, because they don't yield some major @sshole somewhere a big profit!!!

That's unrestricted neocon capitalism for you...the scum rises to the top, and everything goes to shit.

Die, telemarketers, die!!!

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 15 Nov 03 - 11:39 AM

" Most of them are kids who need a job."
Cry me a fecking river...

" I'd hate to think of people being so rude to either my daughter or my son"

Come on over here with them.. I'll be ruder than you could possibly imagine!

"the whistle only comes out at their end at the volume they've set"

Try it... I dare you...

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 15 Nov 03 - 09:20 AM

Scenario at our house:

The phone rings. I answer. "Hello." "Hello." "Helllllloooo-ooow!"
"Thank you so much for calling; always good to hear from you."

My wife: "Who was that!"

Me:       "Our old friend."

We get these completely silent calls regularly, up to three times a day, maybe. Tele-Zapper doesn't bother them.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: DMcG
Date: 15 Nov 03 - 09:07 AM

I'd an interesting call two nights ago from a student dialling round people who had been to his college, to contribute to an alumni fund. I had agreed to make a donation last year, but never quite got around to it. So when I got the call this year I agreed as soon as a heard what it was ... and completely threw the poor lad. It didn't fit his script at all. "Don't you want to talk about your experience of the University?" "No, thanks, I'll just go ahead." "Don't you want to hear how you can get tax relief on the contribution?" "No, not really. Just send the forms." "You're quite sure I can't tell you anything about it?" "No."

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: Terry K
Date: 15 Nov 03 - 04:16 AM

I just think that if you are rude to them, your rudeness says more about you than it does about the caller. Most of them are kids who need a job. I'd hate to think of people being so rude to either my daughter or my son if they were so desparate for a job that they had to do that. I try to remember that it's not the caller who thought up the call - they are made to do it if they want to keep their job.

But on a brighter note ... the ones who piss me off are the ones who will not let you say "no" graciously, but still keep on and on thinking they can hook you.

cheers, Terry

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Nov 03 - 10:41 PM

Little Hawk, a great many calls are computer dialed and when they sense a answering device they do not continue the call. Also, sometimes they do a "burst" dial of a great many numbers and he who is quick to answer gets the "message" or the telemarketer.

I have come home and found 9 or 10 messages on the machine and not ONE is an actual message.

If I am home and answer, I have a "built-in screen" for telemarketing. My name is spelled Meisenheimer. Almost NO ONE who doesn't know me knows how to pronounce it correctly. As soon as I hear
"Meessinn ahh...." I click off. Once, though a woman pronounced it correctly and I told her that since she did so, I'd listen to what she had to say. I told her to contact me that Spring to give me a quote for some vinyl siding I was considering having installed. She never did!

Coyote Breath (Who has lost his cookie and doesn't know how to get it back, being the dim bulb that he is.)

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Nov 03 - 08:55 PM

I'll go along with that, John! :-) Looks like even Clinton Hammond and I are on the same wavelength when it comes to telemarketers, the lowest form of life to be found on this planet aside from serial killers, chimp impersonators, and father-rapers (to quote Arlo Guthrie).

I don't have any of this silly extra things on my phone either, except for a message-recording feature. It weeds out virtually all the telemarketers, and I seldom answer the phone in person at all anymore, because 95% of the calls I get are from telemarketers. The other 5% are from people I actually want to talk to, and they all have the sense to leave messages by now.

I am not at the mercy of my telephone any longer. I answer it when I want to answer it.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 14 Nov 03 - 07:16 PM

Yeah, but Clinton, the whistle only comes out at their end at the volume they've set. It's not really as annoying to them as it might seem it should be.

Similarly with quite a few other suggestions - folks seem to assume that everyone has caller id, call waiting, etc, all of which would require me to pay for extra tools I don't otherwise need, just to be nasty to vermin. Seems like the better solution is - exterminate them and be done with it.

John

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 14 Nov 03 - 06:37 PM

If ya wanna be nasty, do what a chum of mine does... blow a "Rape" wistle into the phone... That'll get rid of 'em!

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 14 Nov 03 - 03:10 PM

Emulate a recording and say --

"The number you have called is listed on the national no-call list. You have just cost your employer ten thousand dollars. Will you please repeat your name, and the name of the company for whom you are calling. This call is being recorded."

Most likely, the next thing you hear will be a "click."

Unfortunately, when you list your number on the no-call list, there is still a 90 day "grace period" before the bastards are required to stop calling, but it is fairly easy to file a complaint once you're on it.

John

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Nov 03 - 02:41 PM

Just got one selling disability insurance...I told him I have a disability which does not permit me to talk to telemarketers.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Nov 03 - 11:19 PM

I am seriously considering setting up a stereo speaker next to my phone, and when I get a telemarketer on the line saying: "Can you hold for a moment while I get Mr Dylan for you? That's his department..." Then I lay the receiver down beside the stereo speaker and cue the CD player to start the song "Positively 4rth Street" at top volume...

"You've got a lotta nerve to say you are my friend...when I was down you just stood there grinnin'!!!"

I figure by the second or third verse of Bob's vitriolic comments, they'll be gone...

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Nov 03 - 10:47 PM

Sins, sometimes you can dial *69 and it will tell you the last number which called yours and offer to dial the number for you. Of course that doesn't always work with a blocked number and SNET or whoever you are with may charge for it.

Any company with which you've done business in the recent past is exempt from the no-call list. Phone companies are great ones for that...ya gotta have a phone, so who're they gonna call! It ain't ghostbusters!

kat

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: artbrooks
Date: 13 Nov 03 - 06:48 PM

Of course, I have a "relationship" with my local phone company, so I guess that means that my name on the "do-not-call" list doesn't affect their right to call me and offer caller ID, call waiting, broadband, cell phone service, and all of the other crap they deal with.

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 13 Nov 03 - 06:00 PM

What I hate is coming home on a Friday night from the Press Room session and finding several messages on my answering machine -- with that promise to reduce my credit card debt. Now, if they had done their homework, they'd know I don't HAVE ANY credit cards, and thus, NO credit card debt.

And I know from when they call when I'm at home (and working on a design job, fer pete's sake -- I also hate that telemarketers seem to think a woman at home during the day is a "housewife") that it's a stupid RECORDING and I can't even TELL them that I can't use their services even if I wanted to so please STOP CALLING! (Arghhh!)

The other ones are the financial advisors who keep calling to tell Curmudgeon how they'd like us to invest our extra cash . . . when in actuality all our cash is heavily invested in the mortgage to our falling-down-around-our-ears home, groceries, keeping the electricity flowing, phone working and internet connection connected, gas in the (soon needing to be replaced) car and cat food. Not a high return or yield on investment, but all we can handle at the present.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: GUEST,Peter from Essex
Date: 13 Nov 03 - 05:09 PM

Its the ones from Indian call centres that are the trouble. You can still block a withheld number but you can't block it when the number is never passed to your own telecom provider.

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: WFDU - Ron Olesko
Date: 13 Nov 03 - 04:28 PM

I use a telezapper and I am on the do not call registry. I rarely receive a telemarketer call these days.

Now to work on all this e-mail crap.

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: Jeri
Date: 13 Nov 03 - 04:14 PM

You know, it was when the 'do not call' registry kicked in that I quit getting messages. Maybe it HAS done some good!

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: NH Dave
Date: 13 Nov 03 - 03:43 PM

When I am on the computer and see calls with blocked or missing Call IDs, I let my fax software answer the phone. Even folks who don't understand TeleZapper, hardware that generates tones that indicate that a number is disconnected, understand fax and rarely call back. Before the No Call List went into effect, I disconnected my incomming phone line if I wanted to sleep, and let the phone company's call answering software answer the phone. If they were decent enough to leave a message, I might return their call - most telemarketers don't render this courtesy, though.

   Dave

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 13 Nov 03 - 03:26 PM

If they're only calling to leave a message, what does it matter?

And who answers the phone at 8 AM, especially when the incoming call is blocked on caller ID??

I say let 'em call... let their computer talk to my computer all they want...

"just hung up after a few seconds when noone(sic.) came on."

Best solution right there, right after don't answer in the first place!

:-)

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 13 Nov 03 - 03:16 PM

Some months ago I had a number of similar calls. In fact, on 36 consecutive occasions, over a period of 18 months, I got -

"Please stay on the line for an important message."

After about 40 seconds, I got

"We're sorry, all our representatives are busy. We'll try again later."

In addition to the 36 calls I received, and held to try to identify these assholes, other family members picked up on additional ones and just hung up after a few seconds when noone came on.

After 18 months, they finally found a representative who wasn't busy, and learned that they were calling the wrong number.

They were a bill collection agency, who supposedly are allowed to call but not to harass. If 18 months of ringing my phone with no intention of speaking to me isn't harassment, what is? (Even if it had been my bill.)

Incidentally, they refused to identify themselves when they learned that they had a wrong number.

John

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Nov 03 - 03:10 PM

I wonder if talking to your answering machine during the day doesn't count against them in the same way as calling and interrupting you at dinner does? Maybe there was a loophole in the Do-Not-Call-List law?

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: Jeri
Date: 13 Nov 03 - 11:43 AM

I got one the other day, and just hear people and machines in the background. Nobody answered. If they called back, they got a busy signal.

The ones that get me (I got a bunch of these, but they seem to have stopped) are the recorded messages - sometimes I answer the phone and sometimes they seem to know when my answering machine picks up. So I come home and hear that friendly beep that lets me know someone tried to reach out and touch me, I press a button and hear: "Jeri, I'm calling to let you know you've won a free trip. Please call me back at blah-blah-blah to find out how you can claim your prize!" or "Hi, I'm Bob Butfuch from Effingyou Financial Services, and I'm calling to let you know WE can REDUCE your credit card debt. Sorry I missed you, but if you call blah-blah." They want ME to call THEM?! Sheesh!

The real kicker is that when they leave a message, you can't tell them to take you off their list. It's ok though. I've instructed my answering machine not to say 'yes' to anything without checking with me first.

Subject: RE: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 13 Nov 03 - 11:32 AM

Did they call back? It's even more insulting if they didn't!

Subject: BS: The Ultimate Telemarketing Insult
From: SINSULL
Date: 13 Nov 03 - 11:27 AM

This morning at 8AM, I received a phone call. "Hello?" Silence. Click click click. Then "I'm sorry. All of our sales representatives are currently busy. But we will be sure to call you back later today." I didn't even get to hang up on them.

They called me to tell me that they are too busy to talk to me AND Caller ID was blocked so I can't get back to them to tell them not to bother to call again. DAMN!