BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: Ebbie
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 12:17 PM

Thanks, DaveO. I thought about correcting his statement butI figured he wouldn't accept it.

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 10:26 AM

This may lead to thread creep, but it's worth saying, I think.

Shambles told us, in part: Once the way these things were normally done was firmly in my young mind and this appeared to me miracle enough - you then were asked to struggle to accept the idea of imaculate conception.

Sorry, no cigar, Shambles. "Immaculate conception" does not mean "virgin birth". And the concept of "immaculate conception" does not apply (directly, at least) to Jesus.

The concept of immaculate conception has to do with the birth of Mary, not Jesus. It means that she was born without original sin, presumably in preparation for her later role as "the mother of God".

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: Scoville
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 09:29 AM

They remind me of Lego people.

Oh, I don't know, my German-ancestried dad's family can certain grow enough facial hair. They're all very dark, though, not blond. Maybe that's the difference?

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: Paul Burke
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 03:19 AM

The German book could lead to trauma later in life. When the Boy Tom was born, I was quite prepared for the blood and mess, but no one told me that as well as the baby you got 10 pounds of liver and 5 pounds of Cumberland sausage free with it.

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: GUEST,Bee
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 09:03 PM

My mother tried to explain it when I was nine, by starting with amoebae and working her way up the evolutionary ladder. She was a shy person, however and having gotten as far as frogs and fishes spawning, gave up. I'd have been terrified of swimming in the same lake as a boy, but fortunately, we were farm kids, and I knew what bulls and cows got up to - looked pretty owie to me, but at least didn't involve clouds of milt.

I'd also witnessed artificial insemination of a cow, which totally grossed out my five year old self!

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: kendall
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 08:00 PM

I remember as a teen ager I was having a discussion with a friend a year older than I, and it ended when he declared, "Don't be stupid, girls don't cum"

He's 73 and still single.

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 06:33 PM

Oddly enough, I've never met a German with that much facial hair... Belgian yes.. German, no...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 06:04 PM

Interesting that it appears to actually be clawing its way out..... and it's all so clean!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: frogprince
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 05:56 PM

Golly, Scoville, I never suspected that that was what childbirth actually looks like! ROFLMAO.

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: Scoville
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 05:24 PM

Dang it, the link failed.

German picture book.

Or:
http://www.planetdan.net/pics/babies/

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: MBSLynne
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 02:01 PM

My Mum was told that her little brothers were brought in the doctor's black bag too.

I remember that the two kids next door were also told at the same time as me (I think our Mum's discussed it and decided that if I'd been told, they'd better be too). A little later the boy next door, who had a habit of sitting in trees and watching people, told us that Mervin up the road must be going to marry Pat, also up the road as he'd been in a tree on the common and seen them doing it. Mervin and Pat were both about 16.

Love Lynne

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 12:46 PM

I was quite little, watching some sci-fi on tv in the US, and a woman with a child was arrested in the movie for being pregnant when she had a child- fertility laws or something. I was outraged, how can they arrest you for something that isn't your fault, after all, you just get pregnant if you get married... my (much) older sisters laughed themselves silly, then the next thing I remember, I knew where babies came from. Several years later I am back in the states being teased that "I bet you don't even know the facts of life" (which, had I known was about how babies are made, I could have answered much more satisfactorily) .. so I asked my Mom what they were, and she sat me down and told me that one morning I would wake up all bloody, and she showed me a Kotex. Somehow the vital info of where the blood would come from got missed... I have never been so confused in my life!

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: Mo the caller
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 10:51 AM

Memories of collecting for the National somethingorother Homes and orphanages. We had a little book of pictures of babies that you tore out and gave to donors, they put the amount given on the stub.
"Do you want to buy a baby". My Uncle Dick always chose the black one.

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: The Shambles
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 10:21 AM

Now you are just talking semantics.

What were the puppies named?

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 09:40 AM

Watching our dog Semantic give birth to 4 puppies did the trick

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: Paul Burke
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 08:57 AM

We were brought by the doctor in his black bag. In fact, when my little sister was born, the doctor DID come with a black bag, I seen it, and shortly afterwards I had a baby sister. That proves it. My mum had a funny mask with pipes on it next to her bed in the front room, but she wouldn't let me try it on.

In fact, I believe that the whole universe was brought by the doctor in his black bag. This is known as the Big Bag theory.

When my younger brother was born, my older brother was collecting for St. Joseph's Penny. This went to the missions, and to collect it you had a card with boxes that you pricked with a pen everytime you collected a penny. When you had thirty pennies, the card and money were handed in. In the middle of the card was a picture of a chubby black baby. My brother thought this was HIS baby, and was most disappointed when the new arrival was ordinary pink. I'm told that Dad was relieved though.

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: Mo the caller
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 08:38 AM

Yes that's it Liz. I was found under a gooseberry bush.

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 08:27 AM

'He stands among the cabbages and p***.'

My mother told me where babies came from, but not how they got there.
When someone did explain it to me there was no mention of feelings, let alone pleasure, and I assumed it just happened while you were asleep. I wondered how our cleaning lady had managed to have children because she had told me she wore pyjamas in bed.

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 06:53 AM

Oh, and we had 'gooseberry bushes' rather than cabbage patches. All we ever found in our cabbage patch was green caterpillars.

And cabbages.

And on one memorable occasion, Jim the farm hand with his trousers down.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 06:07 AM

Oh the joys of a self-conscious mother.... my dearest mama couldn't even bring herself to mention the words, let alone what they did... which lead me to believe my grandmother died of lung cancer rather than the breast cancer she really had.... consequently, I've been as honest as I can with Limpit with the books of Babette Cole , 'Mummy laid an egg' and 'Hair in funny places' so now Limpit knows how, why, with what and to whom.

My sister told me the rest... thank God I never believed more than half of what she said or else I'd be a screaming virginal basket case.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: Crystal
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 04:25 AM

I think I was about 6-7. My mother is a scientist. Then aged 9 my best friend lent me a copy of Jilly Coopers book "Riders". Woooooooeeeeeeee. That was an eye opener!
We had lots of classes about it in school too, our teacher was young, male and fanciable, poor bloke!

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: The Shambles
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 04:19 AM

At age 11 or so, a group of us had a deep theological discussion after hearing that another boy's sister was pregnant. Didn't God KNOW she wasn't married?

He would of course if God were the father but it would appear that being moral - God only picked married women in which to plant the holy seed.

Once the way these things were normally done was firmly in my young mind and this appeared to me miracle enough - you then were asked to struggle to accept the idea of imaculate conception.

No wonder we are so confused and as regards sex education - perhaps intentionally so?

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: Paul Burke
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 03:27 AM

At boys-only Catholic school we were told very little about sex- a vague warning not to play with yourself was about the lot. But I gathered two facts about the womb from prayers and hymns: that it was usually spotty, and contained fruit.

The Hail Mary contains the line "blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus". Another hymn carolled, "the one spotless womb wherein Jesus was laid". So there you have it.

At age 11 or so, a group of us had a deep theological discussion after hearing that another boy's sister was pregnant. Didn't God KNOW she wasn't married?

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: MBSLynne
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 02:45 AM

Gosh, I didn't realise how ahead of her time my Mum must have been. I was about nine I guess, though I knew about babies in Mummies tummies because I was nearly seven when my sister was born and had felt her kick and so on. Some teenagers up the road, about 13 or so had been giggling and making euphemistic comments about "putting the car in the garage" so I asked my Mum what it meant. She sat me down on the top step of the stairs and explained it all to me, but emphasising that I was not to tell my friends as their mothers may not like it.

I was always determined that my children would grow up knowing about it without having to have the big 'sit down and talk' thing. Before I had them, I was an artificial inseminator (Haha) and had often had children asking me what I was doing, which threw me a bit until I heard a 3 year old ask it's mother. Her reply was simple and understandable. "She's putting a seed from the bull into the cow to make a calf" I used something on those lines when the kids were very small and expanded on it as they seemed ready to know more. I bet they can't remember a time when it wasn't all discussed in our house as a normal part of everday life.

Love Lynne

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: The Shambles
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 02:16 AM

I certainly did not learn much about this subject from 'nice girls'.

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: mg
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 11:45 PM

My father drove me to a poor part of town and says that is where girls live who get pregnant before they are married. I wish I would afford one of those houses now. mg

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: kendall
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 11:28 PM

I learned much more from the girl next door than I did from my parents.

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: Scoville
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 07:36 PM

There's always the

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 06:03 PM

On subject.......I think it was the first time my Mom suggested I talk to my Dad. I don't remember what age exactly but it was when I first had "Morning Wood."

My mom and I had always been buddies and there was nothing she didn't seem to know. She was in fact a very intelligent person constantly challenging my thinking and ideas. There was seemingly no end to her knowledge. So I was quite surprised when one day I asked her why I was having trouble peeing in the morning and she replied, "Hmmm....I think you need to check with your Dad on that one. He may have an idea or two."

The Old Man cornered me a few days later and I was totally confused by the time we were done. At any rate, a number of good books showed up around the house and like Bill I kinda' figured it out as I went along and when I needed to know, I knew.

Funny, this thread. My son Michael is discovering girls right now and Karen and I were talking today about Jr. High romances and dances. There was an excitement and thrill then that we never get to relive, and some wouldn't want to. But I loved it, tragedy and laughter....walking girls home clear across town, someone breaking up at every dance with her crying and her friends talking to his friends but not to him. Except for that one girl who wants him next except he wants her best friend and..............It WAS a fun and educational time.

I'd like to thank the following girls for making it fun and not too tragic! If they read this ever, I hope they have as good a memory of those times as I do. Makes me envious of my son............***sigh***.......

Betsy Mallen
Lynn White
Joy Drumm
Kathy Thoms
Donna Goddard
Kirsten Parris
Barb McAfee
Marsha Lisk
Kathy Bowman

Nice girls all.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: Sorcha
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 05:21 PM

I don't remember when, but I do know that if I had questions my mom answered them honestly. Was probably about age 12 or so. School had a mandantory class.

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 05:13 PM

Well thanks a lot Jeffy!!!!

Not only am I green with envy you sailing SOB BUT now I feel wholly stupid as well........I never added that one up.....and it's so damn OBVIOUS!!!!

...........too stupid to live.................please shoot me....................

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: Becca72
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 04:53 PM

I remember it vividly. It happened the day I got my period for the first time, at age 11. My mother handed me a Dear Abby article about a teenage girl who'd gotten herself "in trouble" and that was it. Nothing was said about it.
Any questions I had I later asked my father. Those of you who know my father may draw your own conclusions as to the answers I received :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: jeffp
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 04:39 PM

That's where the Cabbage Patch Kids got their name.

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: frogprince
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 04:24 PM

Mo, have you really never heard of someone answering the "where did I come from" question with "We found you under a cabbage leaf? I guess I've never actually heard of it apart from jokes, but I've heard it forever, and my wife indicated she has too.

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: Mo the caller
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 04:12 PM

cabbage leaves?
did I miss something

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 03:31 PM

I have a 'vague' recollection that someone made a weak attempt when some dogs were mating, but my mind is wired to do a lot of inductive reasoning, and I just gradually sorted it all out. I used libraries a lot and extracted some basic info from hearing other kids talk.....but I CAREFULLY avoided absorbing the snickering stories they attached to it all.

By the time I needed to know, I knew.

Subject: RE: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: The Shambles
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 03:17 PM

My father told me in great detail that it was a 'germ' that grew into a baby inside a women's body. But did not volunteer how this 'germ' got there.

It was not like the following.

http://www.videosift.com/story.php?id=4470&where=index

Subject: BS: Of storks and cabbage leaves
From: frogprince
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 02:46 PM

At what age did one of your parents set you down for "the talk" about human reproduction? Or did it simply never happen, as at our house?

Personally, I remember two childhood moments related to this, though I have little idea now about my exact age, and I'm not quite sure which moment came first.

My mother, my older sister, and myself sat listening to a newscast on the big console radio. The speaker told of a male who was discharged from the army, and discovered that his papers stated the reason for his discharge as "pregnancy". I said, "What does that mean". My sister started to answer, but my mother shot a stern look at her and said, "It means he broke his leg".

I suspect the other incident was later, because I had put some few facts together by observation. I remember asking my mother, "How do women's bodies know not to have babies until they're married". (Obviously I had never heard of unwed motherhood at the time). As I remember, she didn't lie to me at the time; she simply refused to answer.

I proceeded to grow up on the farm, learn some things from observing livestock, read enough on the sly to fill in a few more basics, and live with a few ..ahh... gross misconceptions provided by equally ignorant peers. Eventually I muddled through, though I really think I was more muddled for a while than really necessary.

How did all this go for you?       Dean