Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: DougR Date: 26 Aug 00 - 08:10 PM The only one I know, and I hope I'm no repeating one already written. There once was a couple named Kelly, who had to sleep belly to belly, because in their haste, they used library paste, instead of petrolium jelly. |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 26 Aug 00 - 11:13 PM Whoa! Got another new one...
An old sailor from Island of Skye And as for the insane physicist....
An insane physicist from L.A. |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: hesperis Date: 27 Aug 00 - 02:29 AM LH - Perfect ending! (Mine wasn't funny.) Carol - That is beautiful. It has a haiku 'feel' to it, even though it's not in a classic meter for haiku. (As far as I remember...) I'm saving that one! Classic haiku form is: 3 7 3 Classic extended haiku form is: 3 7 3 7 7 (FYI in case: the numbers given here represent syllables. (Hopefully I've remembered it somewhat correctly. It's been a long time since Grade 9 English.)) Here's one of my best poems, posted just for you: butterfly bright flutter of wings and then gone ~*sirepseh*~ |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: CarolC Date: 27 Aug 00 - 02:48 AM Thanks hesperis, and thanks again. I wrote that in a creative writing class in one of my earlier college experiences a number of years ago. The assignment was to write a poem with this form:
2 The teacher called them haiku, but everyone tells me that it is not a haiku. Some have suggested that it's a cinquain, but I honestly don't know what it is. (Can anybody out there help?) Yours is beautiful too. Carol |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Banjer Date: 27 Aug 00 - 04:39 AM Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard To get her poor daughter a dress But when she got there The cupboard was bare And so was her daughter, I guess! Jack and Jill went up the hill They each had a buck and a quarter When jack and Jill came down the hill Jill had two dollars and fifty cents Bet they didn't go up for the water! Hicory Dickory Doc Three mice ran up the clock The clock struck one The other two escaped with minor injuries Film at eleven |
Subject: Limericks etc. From: Brendy Date: 27 Aug 00 - 04:48 AM Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard To get her Alsatian some bread. But when she got there, The cupboard was bare, So she ate the Alsatian instead. Jack be nimble, Jack be quick Ther was a young lady from Tottenham, Little Miss Moffat sat on her toffet, B. |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: CarolC Date: 27 Aug 00 - 05:31 AM We got trouble Right here in River City That starts with T And that rhymes with P And that stands for... poetry -Garrison Keillor |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 27 Aug 00 - 12:19 PM Another new one!
Egbert, a lascivious duck This is the productive way I spend my mornings... Ah, here's another....
Doon the street staggered Willie MacBride |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: little john cameron Date: 27 Aug 00 - 06:28 PM Here's ane ah wrote fur mah pals on the Dundee site. There wis a wee man fae Dundee went oot tae the sheuch fur a pee when a bg double decker ran ower his pecker noo he's no he,he's a she. ljc |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 27 Aug 00 - 11:28 PM A deranged chiropodist from France Went bike riding without any pants The effect of the seat Gave him such prickly heat As to kill any chance of romance
If a woman should chance to insist
If a rat were just merely a mouse
These limericks just go on and on Yowsa! I like that last one. |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: WyoWoman Date: 27 Aug 00 - 11:38 PM This is all our rebellious, marginally adult way of saying "You're not the boss of me," isn't it?
There once was a feller on Mudcat, (Take it ... ) ww |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Troll Date: 27 Aug 00 - 11:39 PM Cthulhu For President! Why settle for the lesser of two evils. In London a newsboy named Grimes Led young girls on to infamous crimes. I deliver, he'd boast Two Globes and a Post And goodness knows how many times! To his friend said the maitre'd hotel My guests can all go to hell What they do to my wife Is the bane of my life. And the worst is, they do it so well. There once was a poet named McNameter Whose mistress kept calling him amature Said she,"Your technique, Is too rough and antique, And your rhythm's iambic pentameter." troll |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: CarolC Date: 27 Aug 00 - 11:43 PM Soulda been double dactyls. Can someone please tell my who Cthulu is? |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 28 Aug 00 - 12:41 AM Cthulhu is the ultimate bad guy. He makes Darth Vader look like a snotty-nosed 10 year-old. To explain further...there was once a writer of horror pulp fiction known as H.P. Lovecraft. He wrote a series of lurid tales which some people find scary, while I find them in one sense too verbose and tedious....and in another sense utterly hilarious. I think that Lovecraft was one of the great unintentional humorists of all time. One bizarre story was set in Antarctica, as I recall, and involved some inexpressibly ancient ruins and some gigantic penguins who could shoot electrical bolts out of their heads. These quasi-penguins waddled about the landscape uttering an incomprehensible cry that (according to the narrator...who of course was soon driven irretrievably mad...as happens to all the protagonists in Lovecraft's tales...) where was I? Ah yes, the cry vaguely sounded like "Tek-E-Li-Li". Now I ask you, what could be more horrifying than that? But I digress. Lovecraft created a mythos of an incredibly ancient time prior to the present age, in which the "Great Old Ones" ran the Universe. Cthulhu was the Big Daddy, the Grand Enchilada, Numero Uno among the Great Old Ones. They could destroy entire worlds with a mere twitch of a psuedopod, and frequently did. Lovecraft's great fear was that these Old Ones, with Cthulhu leading the charge, would be reawakened by some bumbling fool and would turn our entire reality on its ear, with results too hideous to even describe, let alone contemplate. My favourite Lovecraftian passage is: "Terrible beyond description was the change that had come over my old friend Crawford Tillinghast..." The unfortunate Crawford Tillinghast (what a name!) later "ran screaming from the room", which is something all Lovecraftian hero/victims do at some point, prior to their final, awful, incomprehensible demise. Does that do it for you? |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Troll Date: 28 Aug 00 - 12:54 AM CarolC: Double Dactyls wouldn't scan.
Little Hawk: Thanx for the Cthulhu exposition. Personally I like Lovecraft but only in small doses. His writing style is fairly typical of the time in which he wrote(early 20th Century) but his sunject matter was quite daring for that time. Poe comes to mind as a major influence. I don't know of anyone else who was writing that kind of stuff at that time who is still being read today. troll |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: CarolC Date: 28 Aug 00 - 12:58 AM I'm going to have to check me out some of that there Lovecraft. That penguin one sounds like it would make a great movie.; ) |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: CarolC Date: 28 Aug 00 - 01:05 AM Troll, you caught me. I don't know enough about poetry to understand your response. I only learned what double dactyls were after Seamus Kennedy mentioned them and I looked the term up in my dictionary. I thought it might be a good rythm in bed (so to speak - ahem) Carol |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 28 Aug 00 - 01:07 AM Yes indeed. There was one movie made around a Lovecraft story. I think it's called "The Dunwich Horror" or something like that, and it's actually rather good. Troll is right that Lovecraft was really ahead of his time. An imaginative fellow, for sure. His style is pretty topheavy by today's standards...but intriguing. |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: The Shambles Date: 28 Aug 00 - 03:40 PM A Little Titian
If you want your portrait done
Don't want to appear, in no Vermeer
I could have asked Van Gogh
Well I'm no prude
Don't want to hang in the Louvre
Among kings and heads of state
Roger Gall. |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 30 Aug 00 - 12:20 PM If you thought you got rid of this thread And assumed it was finally dead Then you're in for a shock Cos this thread's like a rock And it just landed right on your head! |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Biskit Date: 30 Aug 00 - 12:57 PM @@ / ~ ~ Peace -Biskit- |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 30 Aug 00 - 01:07 PM The thread merrily goes on and on From the dusk to the following dawn A gross comment from Spaw And then Hespy says "Aww...! I'd have thought the goddamn thing was gone!" |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 30 Aug 00 - 01:29 PM Okay, got it at last... There once was a feller on Mudcat, Who tried Katlaughing to love-pat. She sighed, "No, no, please, For I've started to sneeze, And my heart's out at sea on the mudflats." Or how about..."and you've all the appeal of a muskrat"? |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Troll Date: 30 Aug 00 - 11:36 PM Hawk started this thread just like most Of it's length he has reason to boast. But we should warn him that, If he messes with kat, She'll have him for breakfast. On toast! troll
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: mousethief Date: 31 Aug 00 - 06:50 PM This from the magnificent BBC radio show, "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue." It was written by the four 'panelists' one line at a time.
While studying physical science,
O..O |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 31 Aug 00 - 08:46 PM There's a thread at the end of the day Where the Kat and the Little Hawk play While Brendy gets trendy And sometimes unfriendly But what the hell, he's still okay Ya-ha-ha-ha... |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: hesperis Date: 31 Aug 00 - 09:01 PM Little Hawk - Do you realize you put me in a couplet with Spaw?!!! This is really not good... |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 31 Aug 00 - 09:29 PM Hmmm...yeah, I see what you mean. Perhaps we should perform an exorcism, or something like that. Standing on one's head and reciting any 3 chapters of the Necronomicon backwards is thought to be quite efficacious by some circles. Besides, if you can survive that, than nothing can threaten you....right? You could always buy a gas mask, just in case, over at Barnett's Surplus, I think it's called. They've got gorilla restraining devices too. Quite useful, I hear. I bought 3 of those, just to be on the safe side, cos Mike Latter has been threatening to send his gorilla over, due to the silly messages I've been leaving on his answering service. Hmmm...hang on, there's something at the window. Be right back... |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Bill D Date: 31 Aug 00 - 10:09 PM tsk...been gone two days and had almost forgotten I posted here,,, CarolC...I have almost never written a limerick..I have improved a few...*grin*...and consider myself a conniseur (sp),,,maybe Ill look up some favorites |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: hesperis Date: 31 Aug 00 - 10:10 PM I don't know the necronomicon, LH! Circles of White Light are good for keeping things away, if not that, there's always throwing down a comb and having it turn into a forest, stuff like that. (I don't know if they'll keep the smell away though...) Anyway. Here's to this thread: A musician, when stuffed full of gin, Was heard to declare with a grin "I'll play 'em all, Big to quite small, But the instrument I love best, is skin." Is that twisty enough fur ya? |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 31 Aug 00 - 10:19 PM Ooooo...I like it. Sounds like a drummer, maybe? Hell of a struggle at the window. I'm still putting my feathers in order. That Mike has his nerve. Here's another:
This thread really rates as the pits |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: CarolC Date: 01 Sep 00 - 12:11 AM Little Hawk, poet come write your words The threads are enormous the wait is absurd But where is the Little Hawk who's thread won't sleep? He's of on another thread ready to creep HA! I did it! Call me poet! I know it My feet show it They're both Longfellows |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Sep 00 - 11:58 AM Your feet may be long, to be sure And for long feet there's simply no cure But a pair of nice shoes And a jug full of booze Can amend the effect, be assured! Ha! |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Sep 00 - 09:12 PM Poor old Brendy, he just dropped his bucket While alone on the road to Nantucket He got so damn confused On account of the booze That he bit one and and forgot to suck it Sorry, just couldn't resist! If I could have, would I still be on this thread? Whaddya mean, I've got no self-control??? |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: sophocleese Date: 01 Sep 00 - 09:48 PM Little Hawk! What on EARTH have you been doing? I don't pay any attention to this thread for awhile and I come back to find you mentioned Cthulu, If I'd only known...Ah I'll have to get out "The Dream quest of Unknown Kadath" again now.
An author they called Lovecraft
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Sep 00 - 10:54 PM Soph, how did you know that??? Of course, it was the poor mans TOTAL lack of success with the opposite sex that slowly drove him utterly made, and caused him to concoct weird stories, thus securing his immortality in the hearts of lovers of gothic horror (I think that's what it's called...am I right?). There was also Clark Ashton Smith, a far better writer in my opinion, but I hate his stories because his heroes always end up doomed. I prefer heroes who triumph against the odds. I invented a fictional writer called Herbert Paisley (H.P.) Lusthouse. He reputedly began writing similar tales after his great-uncle, Sir Snidely Tillinghast, went mad, following an encounter in the Antarctic with a gigantic flock of perverted penguins who were engaging in mass coition out on the icepack. Sir Snidely and his crew were so horrified by what they saw that their minds became permanently unhinged. The weaker crew members returned to civilization unable to control their compulsion to engage in group sex at the slightest provocation. They were all sequestered in sanatoriums, after causing much social chaos. The stronger members either blew their brains out with Navy revolvers, or retired to their country estates, never to emerge into public sight again. H.P. Lusthouse also had absolutely no luck with the fair sex whatever, and poured his frustrations into ever more lurid stories that kept Weird Tales rolling merrily along. How we suffer for our art! By the way, Cthulhu is now running for president. His campaign slogan is: Why choose the lesser of two evils? |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: hesperis Date: 01 Sep 00 - 11:16 PM Why choose the lesser of two evils? Maybe 'cause I'd rather be f*cked than f*cked up. You really wanted to know that. ;) (I think I should have reset my cookie and come in anonymously for that.) |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Mbo Date: 01 Sep 00 - 11:33 PM Hesp, you gotta stop letting this stuff slip out! ;-) |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: GUEST,yum yum Date: 02 Sep 00 - 08:12 AM There was an old lady from Fife, |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: CarolC Date: 02 Sep 00 - 08:35 AM I took your advice about shoes And I drank that jug full of booze But it didn't stay down Now I look like a clown And barfing just gives me the blues (startin to get the hang of it...) |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Sep 00 - 12:52 PM God, Hesperis! ROTFLMAO!!!! Sounds like a good line of reasoning to me. Got any free time? :-) |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: flattop Date: 02 Sep 00 - 01:28 PM Now that's horribly romantic from a man of so many words. |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Sep 00 - 02:04 PM You want romance? I've got a 25 verse song that will knock yer socks off. To type it all out right now, though, would be more than I can handle, and would put me in danger of carpal tunnel syndrome, so forgive me if I don't. Remember, handsome is as handsome does. Same goes for romance. Mmmmmm.... Life is good. |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Sep 00 - 02:09 PM Oh, good limerick, Carol! Way to go! There once was a drunkard from flushing Who got dyslexic due to his gnihsul... Sick, isn't it? |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: hesperis Date: 02 Sep 00 - 02:30 PM See, this was why I wanted to reset my cookie... flattop - thanks. Mbo - shaddap! ;) LH - what is this thing, "free time", that you speak of? |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Mbo Date: 02 Sep 00 - 03:14 PM Aw nutz, struck out again! |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Sep 00 - 07:21 PM Mbo - there's always next inning. Don't despair. There is a place called the Free Times Cafe in Toronto, and it's a good folk club...but they charge a cover! What the heck! There's a lot of false advertising out there these days...that's for sure. There was also this band I heard of (true story) called "Free Beer". They played sleazy hotels and bars all over Ontario, mostly in smaller towns. On the night they played, the place would put up big letters on the sign outside saying "Free Beer tonight from 9:00 till 1:00 am". They never failed to fill the house...for a while, anyway. Their audiences were the absolute worst ever...and that's not good. Hey, it was a joke, okay? Flattop, you are not my conscience...Allah be praised! Moving on... A Bohemian plumber named Paul Tried to turn off Niagara Falls He failed utterly Was swept out to sea And died trying to unplug a squall
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: thosp Date: 02 Sep 00 - 07:58 PM |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Mbo Date: 02 Sep 00 - 08:12 PM Yikes, looks like it's the bottom of the 5th for me. Thank goodness it isn't softball... |
Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Sep 00 - 09:50 PM Well said, thosp. You won't get in any trouble that way. |
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