 sj |
||
|
||
BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring...
|
|
|
Subject: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 06 Jan 08 - 07:22 PM Well, what the heck do I have to lose??? Nevermind that one... So I'm startin' a new party called the Bull Head Party and I'm runnin' and now takin' applications for VP... Here's my ***10 Point*** platform... 1. Reform the elction laws to prevent brain dead people who think NASCAR is one of the 3 branches of governemnt from having their votes count... 2. Legalize marijuana and let the governemnt distribute and tax it... 3. Establish 2 new Departments: The Department of Peace, for which I will appoint Dennis Kucinich as Secretary and the Department of Geology (rocks, danged it) for which Little Hawk will head up... (Head up, Bobert???)... Ahhhh, will be the 1st Secretary... 4. Yup, Get-the-Fu*k-Outta-Iraq... Like now!!! 5. Campaign finance wil prohibit all contributions from individuals... You want knock on doors and lick envelopes then knock 'n lick to yer heart's delight but all campaign will be publically financed... 6. Re-establish habeas corpes, repeal legislation that allows the governemnt to circumvent the FISA court, close Guantanemo and waterboard the following people: George Bush, Dick Cheney (3 times), Condi Rice, Richard Pearle, Paul Wolfowitz, Karl Rove and anyone else that needs a good waterboardin'... Then abolish it!!! 7. Establish diplomatic realtions with Iran... 8. Buy back every "non commercial" vehicle and melt them down an remake fuel efficient hybrids... 9. Establish a commuter tax and give tax incentives to "work-live-play" communities... 10. Establish tax incentives and laws to create public/private partnerships between industry and the prison/indusrial complex that, with coupled with reduced sentencing, will de-incarcerate the mllions of Amerccans who are now locked up... This also includes sex offenders who are doing de-facto life sentences in mental health facilities... Yeah, those are the basics... There's alot more but we'll start herer and work out way forward... I ask for you votes and your support and God Bless America (it sho nuff needs it)... Bobert |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: DougR Date: 06 Jan 08 - 07:28 PM Well it certainly will, Bobert, if your effort is successful. :>) DougR |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 06 Jan 08 - 07:40 PM Now what's that 'sposed to mean, Dougie??? BTW, I'm thinkin' of creating a Department of Ol' Farts, the Dof, and was wonderin' if yer free to head it up... Awww, jus' funnin'... Last I heard you had a new wife 'bout half yer age and you were to buzy (wink, wink...) for much more... ...but, then again, maybe you need a break??? B~ |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Rapparee Date: 06 Jan 08 - 07:41 PM Copycat. I am going to do all those things and more, just by resigning. But I'd like to see a change to campaigning laws: NO campaigning or soliciting for campaign money before September 1. On that day the parties have their conventions and choose their candidates, followed by a nation-wide Primary on September 8. All campaigning ends on Hallowe'en, and all signs, etc. have to be removed on that day. On the second Tuesday in November everybody votes. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Rapparee Date: 06 Jan 08 - 07:47 PM No, let it end on November 2, the Dia del Morte. Hallowe'en is scary enough for kids without a bunch of politicians popping up. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Big Al Whittle Date: 06 Jan 08 - 07:54 PM throw a hand grenade in the ring..... didn't say whose ring! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 06 Jan 08 - 08:01 PM Now, now, wee-zer...no hand grenades... Yo, Rap, I was kinda thinkin' that you'd make a good VP??? Whaddayathink??? Yeah, I had Amos pegged for Secretary of State... LH for Secretary of Geology... Donuel fir Secretary of Peace... Ot Larry, if we can find him... CarolC for Secretary of of Trouble-makers... Kat as Secretary of Interior Design... WYSuzie as Secretary of Advice... LEJ as Secretary of Harmonicas... DougR as Secretary of Ol' Farts... Other positions are still open... B~ |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Stilly River Sage Date: 06 Jan 08 - 08:35 PM I think Amos should be the Secretary of Poetic Licensing. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 06 Jan 08 - 08:37 PM Well, yeah, SRS... He does have a way with words... Then who is going to be Secretary of State??? You want it??? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Janie Date: 06 Jan 08 - 08:56 PM Can I be in charge of the food? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 06 Jan 08 - 09:05 PM Depends, Janie... What do you have in mind??? No McDonald's stuff... This is gonna be the healthy administartion with lots of fresh and organic stuff... Baked tubors... Leafy stuff... What the country folks refer to as "salad"... Okay, maybe an occasional French Fry but no trans-fat... And why do folks always fry up them russets??? Nevermind that one... I can live with the sumabich russets but no transfats... Maybe we ned a Department of Healthy Foods??? Yo, Janie... What you got planned fir the next 4 years??? B~ |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Riginslinger Date: 06 Jan 08 - 10:06 PM I'm there for you. Anything I can do... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Janie Date: 06 Jan 08 - 10:07 PM Nothin' much as it looks like the Company I work for is finally gasping it's last. My Christmas bonus was a 26% pay cut, and they are starting to pull assets like company cars out and taking them back to their home office in Ohio. So - I am definitely available and not at all choosy about the work involved:>) OK. Food. Good, simple, healthy, in season fare. Light on the meats. If you plan the campaign trail accordingly, I reckon I'll hitch a little wood trailer to the back of the old Merc. Sable, fill it with top soil and slap a cold frame on it. That'll take care of a lot of the greens, and I'll hunt up chickweed, creasy greens, violet leaves and the like as we go along. That means we can't campaign in Maine, Michigan, or Minnesota til the weather breaks. Being as how we'll be bonafide politicians, I reckon we can legally raid a henhouse or two as we go along, only I ain't ringin' their necks, pluckin', or scaldin' 'em neither. I'm gonna need an assistant for that sort of thing. In a pinch, I will skin a rabbit, tho'. Hey, that gives me an idea! We can make little rabbit's feet keychains and hand 'em out to people for luck, in case you actually get elected - no - wait - that didn't come out quite right.... I dunno. Maybe it would be best to stick with beans, cornbread, molasses and sassafras tea. Or maybe some one else should be in charge of food. Now I think about it, I'd rather be Secretary of Long Sentences, not the prison kind, mind you, the kind that beaurocrats write. I'm real good at that Bobert. I got real talent in that department. 'Course, if Rap were to make me a better offer.... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 06 Jan 08 - 11:23 PM Bobert, if I vote for you, will you make a law that says that the plastic tabs on the seat belts in back seats must be color coded so you can see which inny goes into which outy? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 Jan 08 - 12:04 AM I've lived in a lot of states--I could at least be the Secretary of State who had lived in Washington, Arizona, Nevada, Texas, New York, Kentucky, Louisiana, and Tennessee, and I almost moved to New Mexico. I've visited a whole bunch of others. I'd be uniquely positioned to address affairs of state outside the states. My first act would be to somehow get Dubya's ass incarcerated at Guantanamo. That okay by you? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Skivee Date: 07 Jan 08 - 01:52 AM Since my missives to Rapairee's political machine have yielded little except his derision when I point out the ongoing Shane problem, I would be glad to present myself to the Bobert For President Campaign for consideration as Second Underseretary of Shanty Singing and run-on sentences. I have my own car, if that makes a difference. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Peter Kasin Date: 07 Jan 08 - 07:07 AM Bobert, how about a White House chef who would set a national example with all organically farmed produce and meats in all White house meals, including state dinners and parties, with the food bought from independent farmers and ranchers? What do you think? Alice Waters for White House Chef. Chanteyranger |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 07 Jan 08 - 07:36 AM Well, some fine ideas to ponder... Heck with bringin' the food to Washington... All we need is a roto-tiller, few tons of manure and some seed from Gung Seed Company... Oh yeam a few chickensm cows, one bull, etc... and some fencing... Yeah, we'll turn the White Hose grounds into an organic garden, collect rain in barrels and all... Then when the school children come to visit the White House they can get a real life lesson on what it meanms to be "green"... That's yer new job, Janie... Secretary of Gardening with Chanteyranger as yer under-secretary... You two will do a bang-up job..., Okay, the hours will be long and the pay lousy but the... ...the food won't make ya' sick, 'er nuthin'... Yo, Rigs, I think I've come up with the perfect job fir you... Secretary of Knotheads... Yep you have more patience than I do with 'um so when they come 'round buggin' me about meaningless stuff I'll just refer them to the Department of Knotheads and you can wrestle with 'um... Seein' as most of them is borderline (or not) insane we can take some money outta the ol' mental health budget to fund your department... (But, Bobert... Their ain't no more money in the mental health budget... The privitized fuirms stole it all and laid off all the mental health workers...) Hmmmmm, let me think on this one... Yo, Skivee, Gonna have to think on that run on sentences thing seein' as I have alot of other very important matters to deal with and all you know what I mean I'm sure... Yo, SRS... I can't rightly make you Secretary of State as in your case it would "states"... Maybe we need a new Departmant of States??? Lettma ponder that while you arrange for Dubya's stay at Guantanemo... Make sure that he get's a private tour of the waterboarding area... Yo, leena, Done deal... Them things bug me, too ... Maybe we need a Department of Design where every product is reviewed for it's sensibility??? Well, folks, I think we're off to a good start here and just keep pluggin' away and remember our slogan: "An organic garden in every yard and waterboard the waterboarders..." B~ |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: jacqui.c Date: 07 Jan 08 - 07:43 AM I think I'm qualified to run the Foreign Affairs department........ |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: ard mhacha Date: 07 Jan 08 - 08:06 AM DougR, Do not worry, looking at your nominations from afar, a black man and Mrs Clinton haven`t a hope, get that ol bible thumped and you are more than half-way there, your Republicans will win again. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 07 Jan 08 - 08:24 AM "Foriegn affairs". jacqui??? Yer gonna have to have the Capt'n sign off on that one... Look what happened last time... B;) |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: jacqui.c Date: 07 Jan 08 - 08:40 AM The Cap'n can be the Under Secretary.... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Rapparee Date: 07 Jan 08 - 10:08 AM Well, I keep telling people that there is no "Shane" but they don't believe me. Besides, if there is a "Shane" he's Canadian and not something the US should deal with. Unless, of course, we sent in a few battalions of US Marines, giving him the Noriega Treatment...even though Canada might possibly object just a little bit. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Donuel Date: 07 Jan 08 - 10:33 AM Bobert & Ernie in 08 |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Amos Date: 07 Jan 08 - 10:50 AM I don't think Ernie -- if you mean the Sesame Street puppet -- would be a good choice. There are rumours he might be gay. I don't thinkhe could survive the backlash from the right. And in any case he is blue, and we haven't yet succeeded in electing a brown person, let alone someone from one of the extreme ends of the spectrum. I would recommend to Bobert that as a clear path to the greatest good and his own maximum chances to election that he take the unprecedented step of nominationg P-Vine as his Veep. A |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 07 Jan 08 - 12:36 PM LOL, Amos... Like that ain't gonna happen... The only reason I'm runnin' from the job is to get out from unnerneath her endless honey-do list... Speakin' of unnerneath... Ahhhhh, let me see if I have this correct, jacqui... You not only want to handle "foriegn affairs" but you want the Capt'n unner you??? Whew!!! You go, girl!!! ...but that's kinda what got Clinton in all them troubles so I think we'll have to find somethin' else fir you to do that does not involve either affairs or you on top of the Capt'n... But a glossy photo for the Oval Office might make fir an ice breaker, ahhhhh, strike that... conversation piece, ahhhh, strike that one, too... Please, no photographs... But thanks, B~ |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Peter Kasin Date: 07 Jan 08 - 04:04 PM But what about Bert's domestic partner Tinkie Winkie? Will he get to stay in the White House? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 07 Jan 08 - 04:10 PM No Tinkie Winkies in a Bobert administration.... Ahhhh, not that I have any negative persoanl feelings one way or another on T-Ws, mind you... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: jacqui.c Date: 07 Jan 08 - 04:15 PM Aaawwww C'mon Bobert - just think - all the attention would be directed at my department leaving you to sweep through all the reforms you want because you will look so squeaky clean.............. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 07 Jan 08 - 04:30 PM Hmmmmmmmmm? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: topical tom Date: 07 Jan 08 - 05:45 PM Long live competition! It's true democracy.I hope more candidates present themselves though. I'm leaning toward Rapaire at the moment.(As if I had a vote!) |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 07 Jan 08 - 09:41 PM Heck, I'd vote fir Rap myself... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Beer Date: 07 Jan 08 - 09:54 PM Who?? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: GUEST,PMB Date: 08 Jan 08 - 04:26 AM Throw your hat into the ring? It's better than throwing your ring into your hat (see thread on UK plague). |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: SINSULL Date: 08 Jan 08 - 09:29 AM Can I be Commerce Secretary? I want to be the person who chooses gifts for Foreign Heads of State and wedding gifts for their daughters. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: GUEST,Seiri Omaar Date: 08 Jan 08 - 10:01 AM The gifts, of course, will be chosen in accordance to how much we like them. :D |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: SINSULL Date: 08 Jan 08 - 10:16 AM Not my gifts... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Donuel Date: 08 Jan 08 - 01:54 PM OK Ernie's out. How about Fark Moley. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: gnu Date: 08 Jan 08 - 03:19 PM Well... if Rap had actually promised to do nothing, instead of just trying not to foul up, I might have considered a Secretary appointment. As yet, he hasn't contacted me in that regard, which is a good sign, but still not a sure thing. However, since Bobert has made his #2 priority (2. Legalize marijuana and let the governemnt distribute and tax it...) a pot luck thing, I offer my services as Secretary of Dopes. I figure that if I am in charge of pot, nobody will remember that thing about the gubmint distributing and taxing it. And, yes, I will advise Bobert to make sure there a little pot in every chicken. How else could you really enjoy the giblets? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Skivee Date: 08 Jan 08 - 03:43 PM Now hold on a tic, Secretary Gnu. I am sure that President Bobert will be notifying me of his intent to appoint me Second Assistant Undersecretary of Shanty Singing very soon. Part of his decision no doubt will be in response to the recent publication of my book about the extensive use of hemp product during the days of sail. This tome,"Iron Men and Weeden Ships", clearly shows that the mantle of the perview of the subject at hand falls squarely with the mandate of our agency. Please don't start an ugly inter-agency turf war over grass. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Donuel Date: 08 Jan 08 - 04:27 PM Bobert, Eddie Bauer, Travelocity, United Airlines and a hundred other corporations who use 25 cent a day US prison labor are wondering what you will do to replace their lost "income". |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 08 Jan 08 - 04:58 PM Ahhhh, that one is easy, Donuel... Tell the lazy corportists, their wives, bothers, sisters and kids to get off their lazy butts and get to work with the rest of US... Ahhhh, gnu... Yeah, Okay... I kinda like the pot in every chicken idea and it could be done in the chicken houses which would make the chickens alot happier about their situation... Yup, stone the heck outta them chickens so that when they finally get to KFC there'd be 'nuff THC in a chicken to keep a family of 4 stoned 'til bed time... Brilliant, my boy, brilliant... See how things work out when you have creative folks in the cabinet??? Now as for Shanty Songs??? Seein' as I am a bluesman there ain't gonna be no Department of Shanty Songs... Not even an agency... Might of fact, not even an exploratory commission... Department of Blues??? Yeah??? My buddy, Tweed, is going to head that one up... Us fir you shantiers??? Well, I'll have to ghet back to ya' but not to worry... You'll get treated better that the banjo players... B~ |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 08 Jan 08 - 05:26 PM After we fix the tabs on the seat belts, could we write a new tune for our national anthem? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Skivee Date: 08 Jan 08 - 05:34 PM "Seein' as I am a bluesman there ain't gonna be no Department of Shanty Songs" But it's a natural fit. Lots of shanties are chock-a-block full of rocking and rolling all night long. And most shanties are songs of the deep blues seas. Why, Robert Johnson was a sailor, hizself. That's when he learned how to whale. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: PoppaGator Date: 08 Jan 08 - 06:04 PM Perhaps the Bobert administration will need a facilitator to ease communications between the blues people and the shantiers. It could be a very difficult job, since one group claps on two and four and the other on one and three. Nevertheless, I'll step forward and assume this arduous task, seeing as how nobody else is any better qualified... (Now, I'm sure that there are many hereabouts who are equally fit for the job, but ~ I axed first!) |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Jan 08 - 06:07 PM Why is it that you want me for Secretary of Geology, Bobert? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Riginslinger Date: 08 Jan 08 - 06:35 PM Who do you want for Homeland Security. That guy they've got now looks like one of the refugees from Roswell. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 08 Jan 08 - 07:01 PM Well, gol danged, LH... Ain't you the only one here that goes off once a year to some island, sits atop the highest point and grove with rocks??? Or did I imagine that...; If so then I have it that you know something about steering wheels so maybe we need a Secretary of Strerring Wheels... I don't know... Right now my head hurts... Think I'll go eat a cannibus chicken leg... B~ |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 08 Jan 08 - 08:48 PM Why is the department that oversees the great outdoors called the Department of Interior? It should be the Department of Exterior! I assume correcting this mistake will be high on Prez Bobert's list of priorities. Right after tax credits for construction of grow rooms. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Jan 08 - 09:02 PM I've got a few foreign policy suggestions. Give Guantanamo back to Cuba. Give the Panama Canal back to Panama. Close American military bases in the Middle East and other Third World areas and bring those troops home. Begin serious negotiations to (by progressive stages) reduce ALL country's nuclear arsenals and other WMDs, including the USA and Russia. Said reductions to be equally proportionate to each country's existing arsenal. That is, everybody starts by reducing what they have now by, say, 15%, and go gradually from there on a schedule. Have a return to international law as follows: NO country is EVER allowed to attack another country first upon any excuse. If they do, then they are automatically considered to be technically at war with the entire rest of the world, and treated accordingly. Such treatment would reasonably begin with trade sanctions, the freezing of that country's overseas assets, and diplomatic pressure, with a military response on the part of the rest of the world as the last possible resort....and it would not be necessary, providing the world stood strong on the previous measures...not even against such a large power as the USA. Stop crippling the Third World by burdening them with gigantic loan payments that they cannot possibly ever repay. Forgive those past debts now, and start over with a clean slate. Act to raise the wages of Third World people everywhere through improving their infrastructure and economy, so that OUR jobs are not continually exported out of America, and so that poverty-stricken Third Worlders are not driven to become economic refugees who flee their own lands and try to get into North America and Europe. Give them a better standard of living where they LIVE. If this was done, there would not be millions of Latin Americans and Asians trying to get into the USA (and Europe) all the time. It is inequality and economic injustice that has destabilized the world, not terrorism. Terrorism is an aftereffect of the anger and despair caused by an irresponsible foreign policy, American military interventions, the support of client dictators in the Third World, and the maintenance of gross economic inequality in the world. |
