 sj |
||
|
||
BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert
|
|
|
Subject: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Skivee Date: 25 Jan 08 - 10:33 PM I just want to let you know that I have opened your South Carolina campaign office. It's in a room over a gas station in Raleigh. I know that's a-ways from the actual state of South Carolina. All the rooms were booked. Something big seems to be happening next week. Can you send a couple of 20s? They want the rent up front. I already got myself some pecan waffles at the Waffle House. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Amos Date: 26 Jan 08 - 12:29 AM Them pecan waffles at Waffle House are the best. All the way down to the Gulf Coast. A |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Little Hawk Date: 26 Jan 08 - 12:54 AM Chongo is available for security if you need it. He's good, and he works for peanuts. Well, bananas, actually, but you know what I mean... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Skivee Date: 26 Jan 08 - 02:57 AM Can Chongo be trusted with the private financial information about our contributors??? I hope you are only talking about physical security. Last time we met he tried to get my debit card. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Ebbie Date: 26 Jan 08 - 03:22 AM lol That Chongo. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 26 Jan 08 - 08:58 AM Check and bananas in the mail, Skivz... Oh, I think I know of that gas station... Kinda dumpy as I recall... Perfect headquarters for this campaign... B~ |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Ebbie Date: 26 Jan 08 - 12:44 PM I'm ready to start handing out your campaign pamphlets, Bobert. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: JennieG Date: 26 Jan 08 - 05:26 PM Bobert, if you need any handed out here in Oz I am available. there would be expats here who vote? Cheers JennieG |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Little Hawk Date: 26 Jan 08 - 06:50 PM Chongo wants to know if he will be issued guns ("good ones"), all the ammunition he needs, and a double set of brass knuckles? If so, he'll take the job. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Peace Date: 26 Jan 08 - 07:01 PM Those rooms are small. Even the cockroaches are bent over when they walk. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Skivee Date: 27 Jan 08 - 12:40 AM Please pass the word on to Chongo. We'll cave everything but the knuckles. They aren't lawfull round here. He'll need to bring his rabies shot records. Oh, and tell him I ate the bananas. I'll be pamphleting tomorrow President To Be Bobert, How early should I schedule you news conference for. The Rotary club has the dining area till 10am most days. Those rotarians sure do know how to kill an all you can eat breakfast steam tray |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Little Hawk Date: 27 Jan 08 - 12:46 AM Chongo says "no dice". He say he can manage without the brass knuckles...but not without the bananas. You better come up with more bananas pronto or the deal is off. Alternatively, a truckload of ripe mangos will do. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Skivee Date: 27 Jan 08 - 01:44 AM I can only get a 1/2 truckload a of the mangos, but I can get a mixed truck of yams, brussells sprouts, and sugar beets. It's a seasonal produce thing. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 27 Jan 08 - 09:52 AM Tell the Rotors to start without me, Skivz... I'm buzy tryin' to find a truck load of bananas... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Janie Date: 27 Jan 08 - 10:57 AM Bobertz, bein' as how you garnered not a single vote in the South Carolina primaries, I think it's time to revamp this campaign - promote a different image. And given the need to relocate the Barbershop - I think you can kill two birds with one stone! Sidewalk Bob for President! Skivee, that Raleigh location is a brilliant idea! Centrally located on the train route between New York and New Orleans, that corridor that passes right through the heart of most of the blues country east of the Mississippi. Street level woulda been better, but we are a bunch of creative folks here, and can make it work! I'm a little worried that Chongo may prove to be more of a liability than not, but maybe if he has enough bananas to keep him outa trouble.... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 27 Jan 08 - 05:21 PM That's pure genius, Janie... And, shoot, if Bobert is gonna quit and let Sidwalk Bob take over then maybe Chongo could quit and let Morgan Fairchild take over... Heck, I'd just let her strut thru a few tarin stations wearing a "Sidewalk Bob for President" tight tee-shirt and' I wouldn't even have to go ouit and actaully campaign myself... Yeah, I could just sit back and contimplate the great things I'm gonna do when I'm president... (The Bobert leans back in his chair, rolls eyes upwards, snaps his suspenders and moans, "Hmmmmmm, dar... I think we're on to somethin' here..."...) Sidewalk Bob |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Skivee Date: 27 Jan 08 - 06:32 PM Well, if you're gonna have Morgan Freeman comin' around fer celeberty endosements, then I'll be sure to fold out the sofa bed for him. Do you think that he'll have some of that pro-active stuff all the stars are talking about? I gotta a big ol' boil on my ass that I can't reach to pop. Say,wait a minute. I just heard on the radio that the South Carolina contest is over. Did you win? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Little Hawk Date: 27 Jan 08 - 09:13 PM Chongo's on! He says that a halftruckload of mangos plus a reasonable amount of the other produce mentioned will be quite good enough...specially the yams. He likes cooking up yams in the oven. You won't be sorry. Chongo is extremely good on security. No one and nothing gets by him. Count on it. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Skivee Date: 27 Jan 08 - 11:04 PM " He likes cooking up yams in the oven." I should let him know that there isn't an oven as such in the campaign office. He can probably cook a yam be leaving on the steam radiator for a bit. I used it to warm hot dogs. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Little Hawk Date: 27 Jan 08 - 11:06 PM That's okay. Chongo is a whiz at improvising. I'm sure he will find a solution. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Amos Date: 27 Jan 08 - 11:30 PM Be advised he also frequently improvises whizzing. A |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 28 Jan 08 - 08:24 AM First of all, Skivz, I hate to break this to ya' but yer gonna have to find someone else to squeeze that boil... We ain't got no boil squeezin' plant on our platform and, ahhhh hem, ain't thinkin' of addin' one with the exception of... ...gettin' the current boil squeezed outta the White House... Sorry, LH, but Chongo's price is still too high... How 'bout 4 boxes of bananas, 2 boxes of mangos and maybe a case of Moon Pies??? Unless, of course, you'd like to send a big campaign contribution check to our headquarters in North Carolina... Then, depending on the size of the check we might be able to do a little better... Sidewalk Bob |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 28 Jan 08 - 06:08 PM The brilliant thing about using an old gas station is that you can put a desk on the hydraulic lift and go up when it's time to make high-level decisions. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 28 Jan 08 - 06:18 PM That's what the "pot in every chicken" is for, leeneia... But the lift will come in handy, as well... I was thinkin' we could put Dick Cheney up on it and see if he could figure out how to get down in one piece... It's part of our fund raiser... We'll let people watch Dick squirm for contributions... Between the lift and Morgan Fairchild I think we're about done with strategy... OPf course, we still have Chongo to hammer out an agreement but I think he's is slowly coming 'round seein' as the only other candidate to approcah him was Rudi and Rudi will be done tomorrow... Sidewalk Bob |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Date: 28 Jan 08 - 06:36 PM You drive a hard bargain, Bobert. But what the heck. I know yer resources are limited, right? I'm in. You gotta deal. Yeah, Rudi made me an offer, awright, but I wouldn't work for that ugly bozo if he promised me all the bananas in Costa Rica! Ya know why? Cos he's a crook, that's why. That's my opinion. He reminds me of one of them mobster kingpins. I hate them kind. They use you as long as they need you and then they drop you in the local river with lead shoes on when they don't need you no longer! Anyway, I was a New Deal Democrat way back with FDR, so I ain't gonna be no triggerman for Rudi Giuliani. No siree! I like yer style, Bobert. We are gonna take names, get down to brass tacks, and kick Republican ass all the way to the White House, baby! Just point me in the right direction, and stand clear. - Chongo |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 28 Jan 08 - 06:59 PM Well, that's great Chongz... Ahhhhh, you don't mind me callin' ya' Chongz, do ya'??? And I like yer style, too... Rambo could lernt a few things from you, fir sure... Sidewalk |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Skivee Date: 28 Jan 08 - 07:15 PM I was gonna use the lift for some o that fund raising i hear so much about. Juss put the tin box with conterbushuns on it, then send it up to the roof. Now Chongo won't let me near it. He says it's his treetop liar. I told him that you didn't want any liars in this campaign. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 28 Jan 08 - 07:32 PM Where did you ever get the idea that5 we disciminate agaisnt liars, Skivz??? Heck, if they wanta throw a few peas into the soup and maybe knock on a few doors then that's okay with me... Ahhhh, you must not have got the liar memo... Okay, they won't be condidered for any cabinet positions except for the Department of Tall Tales, which will replace the Defense Departmant but not to worry... Lotta of the DoD folks will transition into the new Department of Tall Tales seamlessly... BTW, see that junction box over by that tool box thingie on the back wall??? See the red toggle switch??? It overrides the other lift controller but don't tell no body 'cause this is one of the national security things... Okay??? You're doin' a good job, Skivz... No, really, you are!!! Almost Prez. Sidewalk p.s... As to yer concerns about the Chimp... Yes, he does bite so be sure yer up on yer shots... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Skivee Date: 28 Jan 08 - 08:57 PM As long as he has his shots. He refused ta show me the papers. He said something about invasive govrment, then he wiped his butt with it. I guess I should be happy that he's TRYING ta learn housetraining. Some folks down here said somethin about the South Carolina race bein' over, but I told them not ta count you out so soon. I know that folks will come round to you once they hear some of them great ideas you got. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 28 Jan 08 - 09:08 PM Well, Skivz... I appreciate them kind words of support but the Chimp ain't had no shots that I'm aware of so if he bit you then you need to worry less about my other great ideas and run with this great idea: get yer ass to the nearest hospital and tell 'um that you been bit by a Chimp that ain't had no shots... Them folks will take it from there, Skivz... Don't worry, you'll be fine... ...in time... I promise... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Little Hawk Date: 28 Jan 08 - 10:41 PM That doesn't sound like Chongo to me. I think your political opponents may have infiltrated some other chimp into your organization. An impostor! If so, there is going to be one hell of a row when Chongo shows up. And why would he bother to bite when he carries a .44 Magnum in his shoulder holster? Chongo is high-tech, folks, he is not some crummy street chimp fresh off the boat. Philip Marlowe didn't bite people, and Chongo doesn't either...unless he's outnumbered and totally desperate...and out of ammunition. Or when he's fighting another chimp or a gorilla. In that case, biting is definitely an option. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Skivee Date: 29 Jan 08 - 12:56 AM I'm right now more worried about tha station owner's pet skunk, Foamy. The owner has kept him a few days since finding him running in quivering near the gas pumps. Buck likes the way that Foamy dances, but it just don't look right to me. We volunteers get Medical, right? Buck just told me that he's changing Foamy's name to Snappy. Maybe we don't send Chongo down for hiz own sake. Four people took your fliers today. So we're making progress. I gotta go, Snappy has come to vislerpthhhhhhhh/,/, |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 29 Jan 08 - 09:17 AM Don't run the skunk off, Skivz... He or she may come in handy down the road... Sidewalk |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Skivee Date: 29 Jan 08 - 09:22 PM Dear President-to-be Bobert "Sidewalk" I'm sorry to have taken so long to reply. Snappy bit me pretty bad last night. I spent most of the night in the hospital, then I moved to a bar. I have to get about 14 shots and they won't let me leave town till they are done. The cops shot Snappy, so hr's no longer available to assist your administration. Buck tells me that Chongo showed up last night while I was at the hospital and ate all the yams. Did you know that yams give chimps the runs. I sure didn't. So buck says the place is a mess, and he wants us out. I tried to tell him that I can't leave town till the shots are done. He suggested that I move into one of the used cars he has on the lot, but I'll have to move it off the lot. There's a Yugo I got my eye on. It's a little bigger than the room upstairs. So I guess that I'll be taking a couple of weeks off. Where do you want me to go next? I've done all I can here. P.S. I'd rather not work with Chongo again if it can be avoided. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 29 Jan 08 - 09:59 PM Well, gol danged, Skivz.... See it the guy has a Chevette... My couszin Rufus has several of 'um that we can get parts from... Chill with Chongz... He'z a little high strung but most chimps is... Know what I mean... Screw them shots... Tell the cotor if they are so good then to shoot himself up with 'um... And don't worry none about Buck... I'll send my other couszin, Buddy, to have a little talk with him... You know what I mean... Hey, Skivs, Iz countin' on ya'... Yeah, I know that coming in after Guilaini in Florida was a setback but, hey, we ain't Repubs... We is, ahhhhhh, inder-pendents... Rhymes with presir-dents... Kinda... Not exactly, but kinda close, don't ya think??? Well, a little pot in every chicken and a stitch in time saves time... 'er whatever.... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Little Hawk Date: 29 Jan 08 - 10:23 PM It's quite clear that this is going to be remembered as the campaign to end all campaigns. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bill D Date: 29 Jan 08 - 10:56 PM Pogo Possum ran for president, Bill the Cat in Bloom County ran (with Opus for VP), Ralph Nader ran, Eugene Debs ran, Pat Paulsen from the Smothers Brothers show ran...and many others even sillier. Why will THIS campaign be remembered more than...ummm...'those'? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Skivee Date: 29 Jan 08 - 11:00 PM Dear President-to-be Bobert "Sidewalk" It's easy to see why you're such a man of the people. You are even related to a Mechanic! Man, 0h man. Folk said you were common, but I had no idea. I should have been clearer. Buck sells Yugo's and only Yugos. He got the place when his daddy, Victor, died. Victor seemed to think that they was the perfect car. Even had some cards printed up: Victor, Yugo- Classics! Then he had a phone number and such. Dang, I'd wished Ida knowed you was in Florida. I'd been sure to ask you to get some of those pineapples and macadam nuts. Do they take American money there, now? Do you have a universal heath care plan in your bunch of programs? I'm just asking 'cause my Snappy bite is starting to itch some. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 30 Jan 08 - 09:00 AM Itch??? Calimine lotion 'ill do the trick... But no shots... They don't make no anti-itch shots... Yo, BillyDee... You comparing our campaign to Pat Paulson's 'er Pogo Possum??? I might have to send Chomgo up yer way for a little talk... Then you'll fully understand the difference... Yeah, Skivz... I'm not only related to a "chanic but I know my way 'rounf a carburator myself so we're in good hands... (Well, Sidewalkx, you better be if yer gonna crank up the Yugo-tour...) Hey, I was thinking about them Yugo and wonderin' if Victor would mind if we put a Chevette motor in it so we can get parts for it 'cause the Yugo factory got blowed up during that little misunderstanding in the 90's??? Ask him... Okay??? S.B. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Skivee Date: 30 Jan 08 - 02:33 PM Dear SB. I tried ta explain that Victor is dead. He's been dead a couple a years now, or so I been told by Buck. I guess there must be something wrong with these telephone lines. I thought I was pretty clear. Anyhoo Buck says we could probably drop that Corvette block in there, but he isn't going to let you use his hoist or his tools. He's got a pig hanging from it for the roast this weekend. I heard that politics is hard work, but I didn't think I'd end upholding and engine block while you put all them hoses and belts on it. Maybe Chongo will do it for a few more yams. Buck also suggested that if this is going to be our multistate campaign office, we should get the Yugo with the most cup holders. Buck is feeling kinda vulnerable, what with the death of Snappy and all. So I figgured I might try to talk him down to $175. Maybe we can get that Leeneia gal to take calls. Another thng we should do is get us some curley earthingees for our AM radios. I been seeing some other campaigns and they always got well dressed young folks listening to football games and such through them curley earthingees. News folks talk about feeling a groundswell from supporters. I want you to know that I had a groundswell last night. It may have been from bad cole slaw. I washed most of it away with a hose. I want your campaign office looking the best it can. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Little Hawk Date: 30 Jan 08 - 06:05 PM The Giuliani campaign couldn't get Chongo on board...and you see what happened to them in Florida! Chongo can pull in the primate vote all across this country. Don't misunderestimate what that can do. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 30 Jan 08 - 06:31 PM Well, gol danged, Skivz.... Victor been dead fir 2 years, ya say??? Guess it's a tad late to send a note of condolenses, ain't it??? But tell Buck that I still sorry... Ummmmmm??? We got a little mixup on the motor swap n the Yugo... You go stickin' a 5.7 in the Yogo and the front axle assembly is gonna bust in two... I gotta a decent ol' Ford Pinto that has a real decent front end that we can wedge in... Of course the tires will stick out of the wheel wellls and we'll have to cut away some sheet metal but, hey, we're just trying to honor Busk and Victor's memeories... Talk it over with Buck.... Now as fir Giuliani.... He called me earlier today and said that if I was willin' to lend Chongo to McCain then he's endorse my campaign... I told him that not only wouldn't I want his endorsement but to expect a little visit from Chongo fir a "little" talk... You ain't dealin' with no ordinary hillbilly presdiential candidate here... Sidewalk |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Skivee Date: 30 Jan 08 - 06:45 PM Well, he says he can, but I heard that the Orangs are calling him a poser, and some Prosimians are sending emails around about some rude jokes he supposed ta told to a Sunday School choir in Greensboro. There's a Ewe-Tub video of it. I haven't seen it myself. Buck won't let me hook up the TRS-80 to his little wire-dealy. Hey SB, I'm gonna be gone fer a few days. County health says I gotta take then shots in spite of yer political clout. I'll be back as soon as I can. If you need to get into the office, I left the keys are under the drivers side floor mat and locked the door so folks could steal 'em. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Skivee Date: 30 Jan 08 - 06:50 PM Hey SB, Couldn't you just weld some rebar under it? like 10 er 15? I really gotta go. They pulling out they stun guns now. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 30 Jan 08 - 07:49 PM Well, Skivz, yeah I could weld a couple hundred pounds of rebar to the Yugo front axle but it wouldn't do no good at all 'cause the Yugo has a McPherson strut front end and the Pinto is a ball joint front axle assembly... Ya' gotta trust me on this one... If Buck insists on stickin' a big ass Corvette motor in the Yugo we gonna have to have some meat unner it 'er the entire front end is gonna be part of the blacktop unner it... Now as fir them shots??? Well, gol danged, Skivz... If they is gonna stun gun yer butt if you don't get 'um what are ya' gonna do... (Hey, SB, what's you got the Chimp fir, anyway???) Yo, Skivz... Tell us where you are and when "they" plan to come fetch you up with them stun guns... Heck, with the dough we spent on bananas and ammunition I reckon that we might as well get a return on that investment... I mean, over half our budget is going to Chongo and he's just sittin' 'round watching ol' Tarzan reruns and, frankly, is gettin' a tad bored... We'll get this one handled... Is that presidential, 'er what??? SB |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: PoppaGator Date: 31 Jan 08 - 03:16 PM How do you pronouce "McPherson strut front end"? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 31 Jan 08 - 06:34 PM Is this a trick question, P-Gator??? I pronounmce it "mac-fear-sum strut"... How do you pronounce it??? Better get it right 'er the Chimp coming to talk with you... SB |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Skivee Date: 01 Feb 08 - 06:27 PM Dear SB I'm just leaving this quick note to say that I'll be writing a big ol' note later. It will be about my in-depth study of the state of health care in rural America. More later, I gotta get me a moon pie from Buck's vending machine. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 01 Feb 08 - 06:55 PM Well, gol danged, Skivz... Don't wnata cut into yer Moon Pie time... No sir... Ahhhh, the state of health in rural America is bad... Very bad... The state of health in urban America is, too... Unless yer rich, of course... Yeah, we spend the highest percentage of our GNP, that's Grand National (no not NASCAR) Product of the top 19 developed countries and come in dead last in terms of our collective health... But nevermind that borin' stuff 'casue nothin' trumps MPT, Moon Pie Time... And, no, that ain't no new time zone.... Hey, I been thinkin' about a Department of Beer, folks... Any ideas??? SB |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: JennieG Date: 01 Feb 08 - 11:01 PM Bobert, you have forgotten something very important! Do you have a campaign song? If you pay my fair to West Ginny from Sydney I will see what I can do to help. Cheers JennieG |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Janie Date: 01 Feb 08 - 11:53 PM Uhhh.....Sidewalk? We maybe got us a little problem. Seems Chongo took a little detour to the Duke Primate Center and had some rough fun with the lemurs.... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 02 Feb 08 - 08:57 AM Nah, that was jus' some kid that the opposition hired and stuck in a chimp suit... I don't think them Duke folks is a smart as they used to be to fall fir such a prank... Chongo ain't left the gas station in Raliegh in the last week... Skivz will attest to that... Right, Skivz... Ummmm, yeah a song might be nice... I was kinda thinking Bobby Bear's "Up Against the Wall, Redneck Mother" but I ain't set on it... But it is kinda catchy and easy to dance to, too, ahhhhh, as well... S.B. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: David C. Carter Date: 02 Feb 08 - 09:06 AM How 'bout"All Of the Monkeys,Ain't in the Zoo" David |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 02 Feb 08 - 11:45 AM Humm a few bars fir me, David.... I don't quite remeberate that one... B~ |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: David C. Carter Date: 02 Feb 08 - 12:01 PM A1l of the monkeys Ain't in the zoo There's some running round Among me and you, So watch when you're in a crowd And you'll agree too That all of the monkeys Ain't in the zoo. I think it was Tommy Collins I typed this as loud as I could. Did you here it? D |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 02 Feb 08 - 12:47 PM Yeah, I heard it loud and clear, David... I kinda like it... Ummmmm, of course I'd have to get Chongo's opinion on it before takin' it to the next level of consideration... I mean, it could be interpreted wrong... You know, like a put down of monkeys equating them to people... I would think that could piss off a lot of monkeys, not that Chongo is, ahhhhh, a monkey mind you... Chnogo??? Whaddayathink??? SB |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: David C. Carter Date: 02 Feb 08 - 01:05 PM Bobert.Please keep me informed of any progress,or not,as the case may be! I don't want to lose any sleep over this you understand. I do understand your anxiety about the matter,and sympathize with you in your predicament. David Who is off to the pub. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Skivee Date: 02 Feb 08 - 06:31 PM I'm just leaving this quick note to say that I'll be writing a big ol' note later. It will be about my in-depth study of the state of health care in rural America. Wait a tick. Didn't I already write that??? Well, that explains it. Chongo is gone, my head is bleedin' and my skillett is dented. The worst part is that he left yam poop everywhere. I guess that my in-depth health report is gonna have to wait. I have to go shoot me a primate...dang it. That hairy bastard took my gun. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 02 Feb 08 - 06:48 PM Ahhhhhh, I won't mess with the Chimp, Skivz... He makes Rambo look like the 110 weaking in the ol' comic books... If all you have is a busted head, consider yerself one of ther lucky one... Health care in rural America??? What's that... A bottle os asprin you got down at the Farmer' Grocert Store??? S.B. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 02 Feb 08 - 06:49 PM ahhhh, 110 pound weaking... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Date: 02 Feb 08 - 07:03 PM Look here, Bobert, if Skivee don't quit spreadin' lies about me there is gonna be TROUBLE! You are gonna lose one of yer staff, and it won't be me! Anyone who suggest that I don't know how to use a flush toilet is really askin' for it. Man, I am seriously TICKED here! As fer the Tommy Colins "monkey" song...well... I like it. ;-D Surprised? No, really, I think it's pretty good. You know, I would enjoy gettin' in an action scene with that idiot Stallone in one of his Rambo movies. That sucker ain't seen nothin' yet. I'll tell you who impresses me a lot more than Stallone: Schwarzenneger. I would love to spar with Arnold when he was in his prime, but I think he's gettin' a little too old for it now, maybe, although I'm not sayin' he still don't have a few good moves. I like his one-liner smart cracks to the bad guys right after he kills 'em. Hilarious. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Skivee Date: 02 Feb 08 - 08:19 PM hey Chongo, just because you know how to use a toilet doesn't mean you did. Besides, writing your name in the yam-pooh gave you away. And where you you get off hittin' me with that pan. You nearly broke it, and its a hairloom. I'm thinkin' that tha best way to improve medicine in these here states is to do some painful experiments on a certain monkey! No wonder Chongo likes Swatzenwhatever. All REAL Americans LOVE Sylvester Stallone. He's got an AR-15 strapped to his walker, and grenades in his water bottle. He could kick Chongo's monkey ass and the asses of his monkey friends. He could kick Vin Diesal's ass. Hey SB, if your serious about getting elected with the least effort, I think you gotta dump Chongo.(after the yam incedent, Dump Chongo might be a good name for him) Look what he's cost you. I think it totals up to $58.25 so far. Maybe ask Rambo to take over Chongo's duty Now that we got that settled, didn't somebody say they were writing a song for you? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 02 Feb 08 - 08:37 PM Well, sheet fire... If this is what being presdent is all about then maybe I'll just, ahhhhh, ethink it... I mean, I leave you and the Chongo in ther gas station fir , wahat??? A friggin week??? And look at this mess that you two have got us all into... Hey, this is our ***national headquarters***... Ain't like some poll hall where the local sheriff hangs up a few posters, gets drunk and then get re-lected... I mean, you all gonna have to get along... Yo, Chongz... Ahhhh, LH said you was toidy trained up... What gives?? Yo, Skivz... Chimps ain't monkeys so maybe you could be a little more, ahhhhhh, politically correct... Yo, Sidewalk... You outta just go up in the woods and smoke a joint... S.B. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: David C. Carter Date: 02 Feb 08 - 09:21 PM There's too much monkey business going down here. Our incesters deserve better than this. I was at the zoo today,and the chimps were going Ape shit. Anyway,I couldn't give a monkeys uncle. David Back from the pub.Having had copious amounts of sherbert juice. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Feb 08 - 09:39 PM This is going to end in something really ugly. I can see that plainly. Oh, well...it'll put some excitement into the race and give Fox and CNN a field day, so it's not all that bad, I guess. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: David C. Carter Date: 02 Feb 08 - 10:03 PM A Banana Republic waiting to happen. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Skivee Date: 02 Feb 08 - 10:33 PM Now, you see, SB. Luck is pretty funny stuff. I took a change that you would be at home, and it was my bad luck that you was out communing with the plants. I was just about to give President -to-be Bobert one of thoase joint party calls, cause he wanted to be buzzed. Chongo and I have come to an understanding. He agrees that he craped on the office and agrees to clean up the mess, including hosing off the back seat. He also agrees to put a couple of those little pine tree air fresherners under each arm and one at his butt. ( He hasn't had a wash-up since the yams decided to leave his presence.) He also agrees that he has to supply his own Imodium when he eats yams. He also agrees not to use my cookware to try to kill me anymore. I agree to donate $15 to a Simian charity of his choice. And I paid up front. Least that how I remember it. Since Snappy bit me, I started to have some funny spells. I guess Chongo should tell you hisself so there's no confusion. PS:I'm glad that David is taking my side in this. We Bigbrains gotta stick together. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Hey President -to-be Bobert From: Bobert Date: 03 Feb 08 - 08:15 AM Well, gol danged... There is peace once again in Raliegh... Praise the Lord and pass that joint... B~ |
