BS: New joke thread of 2015

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 06 Oct 15 - 02:54 PM

Man walks into a bar in a small border town in Mexico and he overhears a conversation about a local desperado, Pedro the Bandit.
After a while he is drawn into the conversation when he is asked if he has ever heard of him.
"Heard of him!" he says, "Last week I was riding through the desert and I am stopped by a man with two guns and a big sombrero who says he is Pedro the Bandit and he demands all my money. I give him my money, what else can I do - he has two big guns - I have none?
When he has got my money, he says, "Now, drop your trousers".
He has two guns, I have none, so I drop my trousers.
Then he says, "sheet" - he don't have to ask me twice; I sheet.
"Now" he says, "eat it" - he has two guns, what can I do; I eat it.
But for a moment he turns his back - quick as a flash I grab his guns.
"Now Pedro the Bandit, drop YOUR trousers."
So what can he do - he drops his trousers.
"Now you sheet" - I don't have to tell him twice, he sheets.
"Now you eat it" - I have two guns, he has none; he eats it.
Have I heard of Pedro the Bandit? - didn't I have lunch with him only last week".
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 06 Oct 15 - 09:50 AM

The proprietor of a Chinese takeaway in Soho becomes extremely pissed off when, night after night, the Greek bouncer from the strip club next door comes in and orders "chicken flied lice", taking the piss out of his inability to pronounce the letter "r"
It goes on for so long that he decides to do something about it, so he begins to practice in front of a mirror until he perfects the phrase , "Chicken frrrried rice, chicken frrried, chicken frried rice, chicken fried rice" - eventually he perfects it.   
Finally, the bouncer comes in and as usual orders "chicken flied lice".
"Don't you mean chicken fried rice, you Gleek plick?"
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 06 Oct 15 - 03:11 AM

A young nun is sitting reading under at tree in a convent garden when a strange young man climbs over the wall, sits down beside her and enters into deep conversation with her.
After a while he slips his arm around her, they kiss and eventually make passionate love under the trees.
When they've finished, she straightens down her habit and says, "Oh dear, how am I going to tell the Mother Superior that I allowed a stranger to seduce me - twice?"
"But we only made love once" he said.
"You're not in a hurry, are you? ".
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: GUEST,#
Date: 05 Oct 15 - 01:32 PM

The seven dwarfs are in Rome and they go on a tour of the city.
After a while they go to the Vatican and meet the pope. Grumpy, for once,
seems to have a lot to say; he keeps asking the pontiff questions about
the church, and in particular, nuns.
       "Your Holiness, do you have any really short nuns?"
       "No, my son, all our nuns are at least five feet tall."
       "Are you sure? I mean, you wouldn't have any nuns that are, say,
         about my height? Maybe a little shorter?"
       "I'm afraid not. Why do you ask?"
       "No reason." Pause. "Positive? Nobody in a habit that's about
         three feet tall, two and a half feet tall?"
       "I'm sure."
       "Okay."
Grumpy looks dejected at this news, and the pope wonders why.
So he listens to the dwarfs as they leave the building.
       "What'd he say? What'd he say?" chant the other six dwarfs.
       Grumpy says, "He said they don't have any."
       And the other six start chanting, "Grumpy fucked a penguin! Grumpy fucked a penguin!"

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 05 Oct 15 - 12:24 PM

A man is just about to walk into a pub when a nun on the opposite side of the street shouts at him, "Think VERY hard, my man, before you enter that house of sin!"

"What do you mean?"

"The demon drink, my son, that's what I mean! It'll be the ruin of you!"

"It's never done me any harm. What do YOU know about the drink anyhow!"

"Young man, not one drop has passed my lips in my entire life!"

"Then you know nothing about it! I'll tell you what, I'll buy you a drink now and we'll see if it changes your mind. What can I get you?"

Well I wouldn't even know what to ask for, would I!"

"Well you could try a gin. That's a good one to start on."

"All right, I'll have a gin. But not in a glass, in a cup, and I want it out here. I don't want anyone to see me with the drink and I'm not setting foot in that bar!"

So he goes in and he says to the barman "A pint of Guinness and a double gin in a cup, please,"

"Jaysus," says the barman, "not that bloody nun again!"

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 05 Oct 15 - 08:31 AM

Speaking of which.
Old miner Jack Elliot Snr., told the story of one of his family who came home late one night.
"Where have you been?"
"I went for a walk with Mary".
"Where did you go?"
"Down *****" (local rural beauty spot).
"Whereabouts?"
"That spot under the trees, by the stream, where you can sit and not be seen by anybody passing"
"I know the place - I always stop there for a shit on my way home from the pit".
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 05 Oct 15 - 08:22 AM

Why are turds tapered?
To stop your arse shutting with a bang
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: GUEST,gillymor
Date: 04 Oct 15 - 12:41 PM

Marriage is a great institution but who wants to live in an institution.

-H.L. Mencken (approximately)

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Mrrzy
Date: 03 Oct 15 - 05:19 PM

OK, so, I broke up with my sweetie a few months ago, and I've been getting over it, you know, but then out of the blue last Sunday I get a frantic phone call - they've been thrown out of their church.

I hung up. I can't stand ex-communication.

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: PHJim
Date: 16 Sep 15 - 02:09 PM

Bad Jokes

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 16 Sep 15 - 09:27 AM

"Flying United"

An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.

During the final days at Denver's old Stapleton airport, a crowded United flight was canceled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?" Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate."

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore "(Expletive) you." Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too."

The man retreated as the people in the terminal applauded loudly. Although the flight was canceled and people were late, they were no longer angry at United.

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 08 Sep 15 - 01:54 PM

Or this;
In a little Mid-Wales village, Back in the time when all the Welsh pubs were closed on The Sabbath, some of the local men used to sneak down to the pub every Sunday afternoon, tap on the side, and would be let in by the elderly proprietor - they would spend the afternoon drinking, talking and playing darts until it was time to go home for their evening meal.   
None of the wives, all regular churchgoers, was happy with the situation, but they all put up with it because that's the way it was in those days.
One Sunday, as usual, a regular at the practice, put on his coat and said to his wife, "Just going for a game of darts with the lads love; won't be late back".
"Make sure you're not", she said, "it's my mother's birthday and she's coming to dinner, so make sure you're on time".
Off he goes down to the pub, taps on the window, and is surprised to be let in by a very attractive young woman instead of the usual, elderly governor.
He goes into the bar to find it completely empty; "Where is everybody" he asks.
"They've all gone to the match in Cardiff; Uncle Dai went with then, and I said I'd stand in until he got back in case anybody turned up".
"Damn", he said, "I'd forgotten all about it; I'll just have a quick pint and I'll get back home".
So she pulls him a pint, then a second and nobody else came in.
The two of them begin chatting, and eventually, one thing leads to another, and they go upstairs and get into bed.
After a while, they both fell asleep, and when they woke up, it's pitch dark,
"Sod, it", he says, "I'm in real trouble now; it's my mother-in-law's birthday and I promised I would be back in time to see her".
He throws on his clothes, races downstairs, and as he rushes through the bar he grabs a piece of chalk from the dartboard and shoves it behind his ear.
He sprints out the door and down the street and lets himself into his house.
His wife is sitting in the kitchen, furious and almost in tears.
"I knew you'd be late ", she spat; "my mother's been and gone, the dinner was burned, waiting for you so she had nothing to eat, and she never wants to see you again- where have you been till this hour?"
"To tell you the truth love, he said, "I went to the pub, as usual, and was let in by a lovely young lass, Dai's niece – he'd gone to Cardiff with the lads for the match.
Well, I said I was only going to have a pint and come home, so we started chatting and one thing led to another, and you know how these things go, we went upstairs, got into bed and eventually fell asleep – we only woke up ten minutes ago".
"You're a lying bastard", she hissed, "You've been playing darts again as usual; you've still got the chalk behind your ear".
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 08 Sep 15 - 10:58 AM

"Now I'm going to have to practise yodelling"
Try this with a Welsh accent Steve:
"Is it true that you've been goin' round tellin' everybody that my hubby's got a wart on the end of 'is willie, Mrs Jones?"
"Ooooo, I never said no such thing Mrs Evans, I only said it felt like it".
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 08 Sep 15 - 09:48 AM

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Control freak, now you say control freak who...

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 08 Sep 15 - 09:18 AM

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Banana

Banana who?

Knock knock

Who's there

Banana

Knock knock

Who's there?

Orange

Orange who?

Orange-oo glad it isn't another banana!

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 08 Sep 15 - 09:10 AM

Knock knock!

Who's there?

M.A.B. it's a big horse.

M.A.B. it's a big horse who?



M.A.B. it's a big horse I'm a Londoner...

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 08 Sep 15 - 09:00 AM

Knock knock!

Who's there?

A little old lady.

A little old lady who?

Stop yodelling and open the bloody door!

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 08 Sep 15 - 08:58 AM

Bugger. Now I'm going to have to practise yodelling before I can tell anyone that joke!

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 08 Sep 15 - 03:31 AM

A climber in the alps, planning one last climb before the weather broke, slipped and broke his leg and was rescued by a mountain shepherd.
Being too far from a town to go for help, the shepherd took him to his remote home, where he, his wife and his beautiful daughter tended to his injuries and made him up a bed so he could recover.
As he was recovering, the weather broke and the family decided that he would have to stay with them until it improved - the weather got worse, and it became impossible for them to travel, so his stay with them lasted right through the winter.
The fed and entertained him and the shepherd, being one of the most skillful yodelers in that part of the country, decided to teach him how to yodel - the visitor mastered the style and became extremely adept at it.
The treatment he had received for his leg proved so successful that he was able to move around the house quite well.
The winter slowly passed into spring and the weather improved, and one day the shepherd decided he would venture down to the nearest village for help - he was gone for several days.
When he returned, having received an offer of transport as soon as soon as the road was passable, he walked into the house, only to find the climber making love to his beautiful daughter - he was furious, and the climber slipped past him and began to limp down the hill, hauling up his trousers as he went.
The shepherd followed him shouting "I found you hurt on the mountain", he said, "we took you in, treated your injuries, fed you, entertained you right through the winter - I even taught you how to yodel - and how do you repay me? - you make love to my beautiful daughter".
"And your old lay-ee-dee". the climber replied.
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 07 Sep 15 - 02:27 PM

"The policeman seemed a bit suspicious till I told him who I was."

"Oh yes? And who were you?"

≈M≈

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Joe_F
Date: 29 Aug 15 - 06:21 PM

Two drunks are on a train in London. It stops at a station.
"I say, is this Wembley?"
"No, it's Thursday."
"So am I. Let's get off & have a drink."

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 29 Aug 15 - 12:27 PM

Terrible New Virus

Please pass around this new warning! This is a serious threat!

- - -

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand:

This virus has been dubbed by experts in the field the "Worm Overload Recreational Killer (WORK)" virus. It is highly contagious and spreading rampantly. Be on your guard!

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means, do not touch it! The consequences are severe: this virus can wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest retail outlet for either of the two known antidotes -- both work equally well:

    Work-Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) or
    Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER).

Take either or both antidotes repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

Warning: Severe cases can be cleared out with Liquid Intensely Quenching Ultimate Obliteration Remedy (LIQUOR), which has multiple side effects, but sometimes is the only cure.

Your best remedy, as always, is avoidance. Approach possible WORK infestations with great care.

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 Aug 15 - 11:09 AM

What did the buffalo say to his college-bound boy?
Bison!

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 09 Aug 15 - 12:37 PM

An Irishman walks into a bar in London and orders a pint of Guinness.
The barman obliges and he takes a large swig, spits it out on the floor, says, "piss" and walks out.
The next night, the same thing happens; he orders a pint of Guinness, spits it out, says "piss" and walks out.
The third night he walks in again, the barman spots him and says, "piss off Paddy".
"In that case, I'll try a pint of bitter".
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: mayomick
Date: 06 Aug 15 - 06:23 PM

lol

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Joe_F
Date: 06 Aug 15 - 06:19 PM

maomick: A thryst, I suppose, is a tryst with a thrust.

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Don Firth
Date: 06 Aug 15 - 05:15 PM

Supposedly true story:

Modern dancer Isadora Duncan and George Bernard Shaw are chatting at a cocktail party. Isadora Duncan says to Shaw, "We should have a child together. With my looks and your brains, what an extraordinary child it would be!"

"True, indeed, my dear," responded Shaw. Then, with a very serious expression, said: "But--suppose the child were to have my looks and your brains!??" (Shudder!!)

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: mayomick
Date: 06 Aug 15 - 02:53 PM

A frisky young man in a pub waiting for his date to show noticed a well kept woman in her late forties sitting alone at a near-by table , giving him the eye all the time .He was flabbergasted when the lady came over to his table ,said that she thought he looked lonely and straight out asked : "Do you fancy a bit of you-know-what"?

"No ,no", he said laughing , I'm ok , thanks all the same .As a matter of fact I'm waiting here for my girlfriend to arrive ."

But after a few drinks and an hour's waiting, the young Romeo became despondent realizing that he'd been stood up. He was about to leave when the lady approached again.

"How about it then" she asked him with a bit of a mocking glint in her eye . "Come on, I see you've been stood up" ,she said, "never mind , it happens to the best of us .Look I can see that you're in the mood for it ,I tell you what love ,how'd you like a treat?"

He started to shake his head, but the mention of a "treat" from this fine looking dame began to intrigue the young man in the genital region .

"A treat, how d'you mean, like what" ? he asked

"Have you ever tried a mother and daughter duo routine?"

He'd often heard about and had indeed often fantasized about such thrysts..... and the lady despite being old enough to be his mother was indeed very good looking.

"No, I never have actually tried that," he said, grinning broadly and tugging at his collar "but as they say there's a first time for everything .Then rubbing his hands together : "Whoar let's go for it!"

They walked together the short distance to her house ; he followed her into the hallway licking his lips . "Oh Ma" she shouts up the stairs , "I've got a nice young man with me says he'd like to meet you".

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 05 Aug 15 - 07:58 PM

A sailor on leave is approached by a girl in a pub who asks him, "Do you want something different?"
"Well", he says, "I've sailed around the world many, many times; I doubt if you can give me something I've not had before a thousand times".
She persuades him to go with her, and when they get to her room, she takes out her glass eye and says, "Try that".
At first he's revolted, but eventually he tries it, and when he's finished, he says, "That - was - incredible; I've never experienced anything like that .n my life; we're sailing tomorrow; but when I get back ashore, I'd really like us to get together again".
"O.K.", she says, "I'll keep my eye out for you".
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 05 Aug 15 - 01:32 PM

H.G Wells was a noted womaniser.
It is claimed the he approached an attractive woman at a party and said; "Would you sleep with me if I gave you a thousand pounds?"
Without hesitation she replied "Of course I would".
He said, "Would you come to bed for me for a pound?"
She said, "How dare you, what do you take me for?"
He replied "We've established that, now we're haggling over the price".
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Mrrzy
Date: 05 Aug 15 - 01:24 PM

And that is why you should get paid up front, ha ha ha ha ha!

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 04 Aug 15 - 03:05 PM

A woman on a cruise is approached by a man who offers her £1000 to allow him to kiss her breasts.
She is highly insulted and storms off, but after a while she thinks, "what harm can a kiss do - and £1,000.....", so she comes back and agrees.
They go to his cabin and he slowly unbuttons her blouse, and he begins to fondle and stroke her breats.
After a few minutes of this she says, "Well, go on, kiss them".
"I can't", he says.
"Why not?"
"I haven't got any money".
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Don Firth
Date: 04 Aug 15 - 02:26 PM

I went to the refrigerator this morning to get the milk for my cereal, and there, with his forepaws behind his head, leaning against the milk carton, was a little mouse.

I blinked a couple of times, then said, "Well, good morning. And what are you doing there?"

The little mouse said, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?"

"Yes," I said.

"Well," said the little mouse, "I'm just westing...."

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: GUEST,Uncle_DaveO
Date: 04 Aug 15 - 12:03 PM

"Brand New"

A man was going to work one day and accidentally slammed his penis in the car door. He went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "We're going to have to put a splint on that."

The guy said, "No way, Doc; I'm getting married in a week."

The Doc replied, "Well, if we don't, it's going to be bent for the rest of your life."

Finally the guy agreed, and the doctor got out a couple of tongue depressors and some tape and fixed him up.

A week later, and he was on his honeymoon...

His new wife did a slow, seductive strip-tease in front of him. She took off her bra and said, "See these? They've never been touched by a man before." She then took off her panties and said, "See this? It's never been seen by a man before."

So the husband whipped off his shorts and said, "See this? It's not even out of the crate yet!"

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 Jul 15 - 09:09 PM

Ok, here is a riddle for all genders:

Q: Why don't they make black condoms?
A: Because black is slimming.

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: GUEST, 08:07
Date: 27 Jul 15 - 10:51 AM

......and dyslexia is an anagram of "daily sex"
       Tips hat..Ver ver good Sir !

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Jul 15 - 10:38 AM

Hitler, Mussolini and Stalin are all sitting in a restaurant discussing their plans for World War 3.

A waitress approaches the table and listens to their talk. Hitler opens by saying:

"Okay guys, I've got a great idea. I already talked to Stalin about it, but I figure I should get your input. He didn't believe me."

Mussolini responds "believe you about what?"

"Okay this time, the plan is to kill ten million jews and one mexican."

The waitress at this point is intrigued and confused, decides to chime in. "One Mexican? Why do you want to kill the mexican?"

Hitler turns to Stalin and says "I told you nobody would care about the jews!

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Jul 15 - 10:23 AM

dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODCdsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC dsyleixc and ODC

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: GUEST,Jon Heslop
Date: 27 Jul 15 - 08:41 AM

......and dyslexia is an anagram of "daily sex"

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Jul 15 - 08:07 PM

I'm glad you're singing it and not playing it...ouch! ;)

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 Jul 15 - 08:05 PM

(Sings) Old McDonald was dyslexic
IEOIE

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: GUEST,Dyslexic wiv a shense of oomer
Date: 26 Jul 15 - 01:51 PM

Did tha knows, an anagram of Steve Shaw (and) Guest is "The gusset waves.

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Jul 15 - 11:22 AM

Dyslexics untie.

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Mrrzy
Date: 26 Jul 15 - 10:50 AM

They also walk into bars...

Reminds me of the guy who went to a shrink but demanded that his diagnosis be CDO --putting the letters in their proper alphabetical order.

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 25 Jul 15 - 01:08 PM

Scientists have just discovered that dyslexia is inherited. Apparently it's in your NDA.

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 25 Jul 15 - 10:47 AM

Used to Sharing Everything

He ordered only one hamburger, only one order of French fries and only one drink. The old man unwrapped the plain hamburger, carefully cut it in half, and placed one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. Then he put the drink cup on the table, exactly half-way between him and his wife.

As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them kept looking over and whispering. You could tell they were thinking, "That poor old couple--all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine -- "We are used to sharing everything," he said simply.

The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat.

Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time it was the old woman who said, "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."

As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man yet again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked, "Okay, but what is it you are waiting for?"

She paused a bit before she answered, as if it were quite obvious, "The teeth!"

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: GUEST,#
Date: 25 Jul 15 - 04:47 AM

http://www.laughaton.com/uploads/images/1742-Traitor.jpg

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 19 Jul 15 - 03:46 AM

"They are Deaf & Mute"
They are, of course.
I learned the joke many, many years ago, when I was less aware - not an excuse, just a reason for my insensitivity, my apologies,
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: GUEST,Dormie
Date: 18 Jul 15 - 01:31 PM

They are not "Deaf & Dumb" They are Deaf & Mute

If anyone is dumb it is .................

Subject: RE: BS: New joke thread of 2015
From: GUEST,Bryn Pugh
Date: 18 Jul 15 - 11:43 AM

The toilet poet when he dies

Will find erected in the skies

A tribute to his solemn wit :

A monument of solid SHIT.