Rugby Songs

Subject: Rugby Songs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 19 Aug 23 - 04:54 PM

This thread is intended to list the whole contents of the book (Why was he born so beautiful, and other) Rugby Songs. This was a book of 140 songs published in 1967.

I will replicate the songs as seen in the book, with asterisks etc. for certain words (as per the original book),

I am not putting these forward as 'singable', just recording what was made available.

If you're easily offended, now is probably a good time to seek a different thread.

Most, if not all, of these do not appear to have an identified tune, although many tunes may be obvious.

This is an edited PermaThread®, used for a special project. This thread will be moderated. Feel free to post to this thread, but remember that all messages posted here are subject to editing or deletion. Nigel Parsons is the editor of this thread.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 19 Aug 23 - 07:24 PM

You may find a large (Very Large) collection ... on Mudcat.

Under the original MC post, "monkeyboy"

That thread contains the transcribed, mimeographed, Camp Pendelton Marine, Rugby songbook.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

I know of many more in the last decade ... I encourage you to add on...aka "Taco, Burrito ... what is that in your speedo?" (circa 2010 California)

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Lighter
Date: 19 Aug 23 - 07:45 PM

Gargoyle, what was the year of that Pendleton collection?

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Robert B. Waltz
Date: 19 Aug 23 - 07:50 PM

Several notes about this book. Many editions do not list an author, but it was actually compiled by Harry Morgan. There is a 1985 edition. I think it safe to say that some items are not traditional, at least as songs.

I came up with 102 distinct songs, FWIW.

About half have attested tunes from other sources, e.g. Ed Cray's Erotic Muse.

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Lighter
Date: 19 Aug 23 - 08:15 PM

Don't overlook "More Rugby Songs" (1968), several LPs, and a series of imitations over the next decade and more.

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 11:28 AM

The first song from the book mentioned in the opening post:

DID YOU EVER SEE

O, I got an Aunty Sissy,
And she's only got one titty,
But it's very long and pointed
And the nipple's double jointed.

Chorus: Did you ever see,
       Did you ever see,
       Did you ever see
       Such a funny thing before.

I've got a cousin Daniel,
And he's got a cocker spaniel,
If you tickled 'im in the middle
He would lift his leg and piddle.

Oh, I've got a cousin Rupert,
He plays outside half for Newport.
They think so much about him
That they always play without him.

Oh, I've got a cousin Anna,
And she's got a grand piana,
She goes ram aram aram,
Till the neighbour say "God Damn Her"


For fuller, and other vesrions of this song, see Hob Y Deri Dando where it appears as 'Hob Y Deri Dando' and 'Cosher Bailey' and other versions.
That thread has a very thorough set of words and notes by Abby Sale in This comment!
NP

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 11:49 AM

LULU

Some girls work in factories,
some girls work in stores,
But my girl works in a knockin' shop
with forty other whores.

Chorus: Oh, bang away Lulu,
       Bang away good and strong,
       What we to do for a good blow through,
       When Lulu's dead and gone?

Lulu had a baby, it was an awful shock
She couldn't call it Lulu 'cos
the bastard had a ****.

I took her to the pictures,
we sat down in the stalls,
And every time the lights went out
she grabbed me by the *****.

She and I went fishing in a dainty punt
And every time I hooked a sprat
she stuffed it up her ****.

I wish I was a silver ring
upon my Lulu's hand
And every time she scratched her ****
I'd see the promised land.

I wish I was a chamber pot under Lulu's bed.
And every time she took a piss
I'd see her maidenhead.


Irregular line lengths (whether or not to split the first line over two lines), Initial upper case/lower case for lines, etc. are not typos, but reflect my copy of the book.
Also I am not trying to correct lines to correct the scansion, nor where I recall singing them differently

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 11:54 AM

DARLING GRACE

Oh darling Grace
I love your face,
I love you in your nightie,
When the moonlight flits
Across your tits
Oh Jesus Christ Almighty.

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Lighter
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 11:58 AM

In one disreputable version or another, "Lulu" was second in popularity only to "Hinky Dinky Parley-Voo" among American soldiers in World War I.

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 12:01 PM

LIL

Although a lady of ill-repute
Lilian Barker was a beaut,
And it was really deemed an honour
To be allowed to climb upon her.

Her lovely face was smooth and fair,
And golden was her flowing hair,
Yet pot and hash and cruel cocaine
Had ravaged heart and soul and brain.

Lil could take with sly content
A trooper of his regiment,
Hyperbole it sometimes seems,
Is not confined to wishful dreams.

But soon she has to see a doctor
To find out what disease had pocked her.
The diagnosis short and clear
Revealed a dose of gonorrhoea.

As Lilian lay in her disgrace,
She felt the devil kiss her face,
She said, "now mate I'm always willing
But first let's see your silver shilling."

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Lighter
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 12:17 PM

Oscar Brand's tamer version, "Her name was Lil," appeared on "Bawdy Songs and Backroom Ballads, Vol. I" (1955).

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 12:18 PM

THREE OLD WHORES FROM WINNIPEG

Three old whores from Winnipeg
Were drinking cherry wine,
Says one of them to the other two,
"Yours is smaller than mine."

Chorus: So take up the sheets me hearties,
       Water the decks with brine,
       Bend to the oars, you lousy whores,
       None is bigger than mine.

"You're a liar", says the second old whore,
"Mine's as big as the sea,
The battle ships sail in and out
And never a bother to me."

"You're a liar", says the third old whore,
"Mine's as big as the moon,
The battle ships sail in
on the first of the year,
They never come out till June."

"You're a liar", says the first again,
"Mine's as big as the air,
The battle ships sail in and out,
They never tickle a hair."

"You're a liar", says the second again,
"Mine is bigger than all,
For many the ships that sail right in,
And they never come out at all."

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Lighter
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 12:26 PM

That's Oscar Brand's influential version, with his sanitized chorus.

It appeared on his "Old Time Bawdy Sea Shanties" (1958).

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 12:28 PM

YOUNG ROGER OF KILDARE

Oh mother, mother, dear
May I go to the fair
May I go with young Roger
Young Roger of Kildare
For I know he's kind and gentle
And will love me for my sake
And I know he will not harm me
Coming home from the wake.

Oh, daughter, daughter, dear
You may go to the fair
You may go with young Roger
Young Roger of Kildare
For I know he's kind and gentle
And will love you for your sake
But keep your legs close together
Coming home from the wake.

So she went to the fair
So she went to the fair
She went with young Roger
Young Roger of Kildare
So he stuffed her up with ice-cream
And he stuffed her up with cake
And he stuffed it right up her
Coming home from the wake.

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Lighter
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 12:34 PM

19th century broadside origin.


/mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=19803

/mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=19634

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 12:48 PM

THE TRAVELLER

I came home on Saturday night
as drunk as I could be,
And there was a hat upon the rack
where my hat ought to be,
So I said to my wife, the curse of my life,
"Explain this thing to me,
Whose is that hat upon the rack
where my hat ought to be?"
   "Oh, you're drunk, you fool,
   You daft old fool,
   As drunk as a **** can be
   That's not a hat upon the rack
   But a chamberpot you see."
Well, I've travelled this wide world over,
ten thousand miles or more,
But a jerry with a hatband on
I never saw before.

I came home on Saturday night
as drunk as I could be,
And there was a horse in the stable
where my horse ought to be,
So I said to my wife, the curse of my life,
"Explain this thing to me,
Whose is this horse in the stable
where my horse ought to be?"
   "Oh, you're drunk, you fool,
   You daft old fool,
   As drunk as a **** can be
   That's not a horse in the stable
   But a milch cow you can see."
Well, I've travelled this wide world over,
ten thousand miles or more,
But a milch cow with a saddle on
I never saw before.

I came home on Saturday night
as drunk as I could be,
And there were some breeks beside the bed
where my breeks ought to be,
So I said to my wife, the curse of my life,
"Explain this thing to me,
Whose are those breeks a-lying
where my breeks ought to be?"
   "Oh, you're drunk, you fool,
   You daft old fool,
   As drunk as a **** can be
   Those aren't a pair of breeches
   But a polishing cloth you see."
Well, I've travelled this wide world over,
ten thousand miles or more,
But a polishing cloth with buttons on
I never saw before.

I came home on Saturday night
as drunk as I could be,
And there was a head on the pillow
where my head ought to be,
So I said to my wife, the curse of my life,
"Explain this thing to me,
Whose is this head a lying there
where my head ought to be?"
   "Oh, you're drunk, you fool,
   You daft old fool,
   As drunk as a **** can be
   That's not a head on the pillow
   But a mushmelon you see."
Well, I've travelled this wide world over,
ten thousand miles or more,
But a mushmelon with a moustache
I never saw before.

I came home on Saturday night
as drunk as I could be,
And there was a stain on the counterpane
and it didn't come from me,
So I said to my wife, the curse of my life,
"Explain this thing to me,
What's this stain on the counterpane
which doesn't come from me?"
   "Oh, you're drunk, you fool,
   You daft old fool,
   As drunk as a **** can be
   That's not a stain on the counterpane
   But some baby's milk you see."
Well, I've travelled this wide world over,
ten thousand miles or more,
But baby's milk that smelt like cum
I've never smelt before.

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Lighter
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 01:10 PM

Child 274.

A unique conclusion. Usually it's ballocks on a rolling pin, carrot, or candlestick - any of which would certainly be more evident.

Brand's polite version is on BS&BB, Vol. I, 1955.

The Four Sergeants, "Bawdy Barracks Ballads, Vol. II"(ca. 1960) sing another polite version to a combination of "The Son of a Gamboleer" and, for the wife's replies, "Sailing, Sailing."

See various Mudcat threads.

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 02:05 PM

CAN YOU WALK A LITTLE WAY WITH IT IN?

Can you walk a little way with it in, with it in,
Can you walk a little way with it in, with it in
She answered with a smile
I can walk a ******* mile
With it in
Wit it in
With it in.

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 02:11 PM

RED FLAG

The working class
Can kiss my ****,
I've got the foreman's job at last.
I'm out of work,
And on the dole
You can stuff the red flag
Up your hole.

'Twas on Gibraltar's rock so fair,
I saw a maiden lying there
And as she lay in sweet repose,
A puff of wind blew up her clothes,
A sailor who was passing by
Tipped his hat and winked his eye,
And then he saw to his despair
She had the red flag flying there.

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 02:18 PM

NELLIE 'AWKINS

I first met Nellie 'Awkins
down the Old Kent Road.
Her drawers were hanging down,
'Cos she'd been with Charlie Brown,
I pressed a filthy tanner
in her filthy bleeding hand
'Cos she was a low down whore.

She wore no blouses
And I wore no trousers,
And she wore no underclothes,
And when she caressed me
She damn near undressed me
It's a thrill that no one knows.
I went to the doctor,
He said "Where did you block 'er?"
I said "Down where the green grass grows."
He said, quick as a twinkle,
The pimple on your winkle
Will be bigger than a red, red rose."

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Lighter
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 02:22 PM

The first stanza seems self-contradictory.

Originally two separate parodies to the same tune? (O Tannenbaum.) The topics are different.

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 02:33 PM

THE MOLE CATCHER

In Manchester city
by the sign of The Plough
There lived a mole catcher,
I can't tell you how.
Chorus: With his la ti lie diddle,
       and his la ti lie day.

He'd go out mole catching
from morning till night,
And a young fellow would come
for to visit his wife.

Now the mole catcher got jealous
of all the same thing
And he hid under the wash house
to see what did come in.

Now this young fellow
comes climbing over the stile,
And the mole catcher's watching
with a crafty smile.

He knocks at the door and this he does say,
Where is your husband,
good woman, I pray?"

"He's gone out mole catching,
you have nothing to fear."
Little did she know
the old bastard was near.

They went up the stairs
and she gives him the sign,
But the filthy old fellow did creep up behind.

Now just as the young fellow
reached the height of his frolics,
The mole catcher grabs him quite fast
by the ********.

The trap it squeezed tighter,
the mole catcher did smile,
"Here's the best mole
we've caught in a while."

"I'll make you pay well
for ploughing me ground
This little prank will cost you
all of ten pound."

"Oh," says the young fellow,
"Christ gov, I don't mind,
For it only works out at tuppence a grind."

So come all young fellows
and mind what you're at,
Don't ever get yours caught
in a mole catcher's trap.

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 02:39 PM

Lighter: Originally two separate parodies to the same tune? (O Tannenbaum.) The topics are different.

The 'parody' in the first stanza is to the tune 'O Tannenbaum', but is clearly intended to parody the anthem (since 1900) of the Labour Party: The Red Flag

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Lighter
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 02:53 PM

Simon Raven, "Sound the Retreat" (1971), places the "You Wore a Tulip" parody in the British Indian Army in 1945 or so.

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Lighter
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 03:04 PM

Re "The Red Flag." That is correct. Same tune.

Re "The Molecatcher" (Roud 1052): late 18th-century garland origin. Sung by Lloyd on "The Best of A. L. Lloyd" (1966) with a few different words.

It's been recorded a number of times since. Gordon Hall had no fewer than ten extra couplets (not what you're thinking).

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 07:54 PM

Mr. Lighter

Rugby Football Songs
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 17 Nov 01 - 12:13 AM

The cover page of the primary source
CAMP PENDLETON "GHOST RIDERS" RUGBY FOOTBALL CLUB
OFFICIAL SONG BOOK
(Second Edition)

Not copyrighted – 15 January 1981 by Pendleton RFC
No rights reserved. Any part of this work, considering there are
no copyrights, may be reproduced or copied in any form or by any means
graphic, electironic, or mechanical, including photocorpying, record-
ing taping, or information and retrieval systems - - without written
permission of the Pendleton RFC.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 17 Nov 01 - 12:17 AM

This is close as possible to the original written text's, layout and design; it is neither edited nor corrected, with the typos and original line breaks included. These were still the days of the manual and "selectric" typewriters.
The following explanation from/within the manuscript explains why I believe some of these songs, (hopefully dick/Susan will concur) belong within the anals (sic) of the Digital Tradition.

Sincerely,
The Digital Tradition's most humble of servants,
Gargoyle

PENDLETON'S FUCKING OFFICIAL (?) INTRODUCTION

The sport of Rugby is unique but oddly enough the action on the
playing field itself has little to do with this distinction. The
stamina, skills and risk of bodily harm can be matched, all or in
part, by other sports. The can't, however, match the unusual comb-
ination of sport of sportsmanship, comaraderie, humor and enthusiasm which
surfaces after the game has finished. In no other sport can the
participants indulge in such vicious bodily contact, cause or
sustain an assortment of hurt and injury then, win or lose, join
the opponents in a convivial party to share an evening or rowdy
song and drink, even going so far as to pay for the enemy's beer.

Although the game of Rugby has often been described as unorgan-
ized mayhem, this description is only partially correct. It would
be more to the point to describe the game of Rugby as organized mayhem.

Rugby songs themselves are a traditional part of folklore and
each team member owes it to the team to learn them in order to
participate more fully in the sport. The passage below was taken
from the preface to the book, "Why was he Born so Beautiful and
Other Rugby Songs" by Michael Green, 1967. It more eloquently
describes the animal known as the "rugby song" and is reprinted here
without the permission of the publisher and in complete disregard
for copyright policies just as Michael Green did in compiling his
own book. It will serve as the introduction to the Pendleton RFC
OFFICIAL SONGBOOK and in turn as the last bit of sanity in an
otherwise happily insane collection of smut.

"It has often been said that what happens after a game of rugby
is more important then what happens of the field and the sing-song
is one of the chief post-match activities. Perhaps it is rather
stretching it to the word 'sing'. The noise which comes out
of a rugby clubhouse on Saturday night has little in common with
the work or Marie Callas and Benjamin Britten, although the dis-
sonant half-tones, like an elderly bagpipe exploding, which mark
attempts at harmony, might gladden the heart of a Kurdian shepherd."

"Yet the rugby song does have a crude sort of folk culture all of
its own. At its worst it is simply a bawdy chorus, a Chaucerian
obsession with the basic functions of the human body being the es-
sential linking theme of all good rugby songs. At its best it may
tell a moving story, make a pertinent social comment. Keir Hardie
himself could not have resisted the socialist appeal of "they're
digging up fathers grave to build a sewer." the story of an honest
British workman who was exhumed for the building of a scewer up to
(1)

"some dirty pesh's residence" and who retaliated by haunting the
aristocrat's lavetory seat. And his heart would be hard indeed
who was not moved by the tragety of Morphine Bill and Cocaine Sue
who after killing themselves with drugs (Honey have a sniff on me)
were buried side by side."-.

"Some rugby songs tell a narrative story of heroic proportions
in 'recitative', such as the famous "Eskimo Nell' or the witty story
of the incredible "Wild West Show". from which the Oozekum Bird has
passed into the language as a symbol of futility. Others like "Oh,
You Zulu Warriors' depend for their appeal on violent physical actions
by the participants, such as pouring beer over the singer. A large
section are derived from hymn tunes, and while they would scarely
be accepted by ecclesiastical authorities they have a grim attraction
of their own."

"Truly there is something for everybody, providing they can drink
enough beer to dull their finer senses. This volume itself could
serve as a treasure trove for the psycologist. The literature fills
a gap in English Literature (somewhere between Smellet and Henry
I think). I commend it to all rugby players who can read, while
even front-row forwards will enjoy having it spelled out for them".

Due to the length of this work and the skill (or lack thereof) of the
typist, there will be some typographical errors in you copy. Please
look upon these as lending aesthetic value to the work.

Signature
Bradley W. SHARP
Treasurer, Pendleton RFC
15 January 1981

END OF ORIGINAL MANUSCRIPT

Sincerly,
Gargoyle

Cripes was that hand typed, hand line breaks>transcription ever a labor of drunken love of brew. I could not/would not ... do it today ... but, it kept me sain.

I honor your contributions, and original source material ... I am clearing my collections and planned to send it to John M

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: Lighter
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 08:24 PM

Thanks, G.

Subject: RE: Rugby Songs
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 22 Aug 23 - 11:55 PM

We are all moldering into the ways of all mortal flesh.

John M talked and recorded multiple friends.

If you have an interest, I can connect you with the writer of "Hasher's on the Storm, another composer of " Bird Turd" ... and other originals etc.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle


All up and down the whole creation,
Sadly I roam,
Still longing for my childhood station,
And for the old folks at home.