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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: Les from Hull Date: 13 Jun 01 - 12:05 PM There was a young girl from Bombay Who, on a slow boat to China one day, Was trapped by the tiller By a sex-starved gorilla And China's a bloody long way.
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: Lyndi-loo Date: 13 Jun 01 - 12:04 PM There are catters whose names are Max Tone Katlaughing, Catspaw and Joe Clone If you're needing a chat You must visit Mudcat And know that you're never alone *BG* |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: BobP Date: 13 Jun 01 - 11:48 AM A pitcher from baseball's dominions, Decided to share his opinions, He did harm to his game and mates, But he learned quite a lesson, like Gates. Keep it zipped or you'll soon be out millions. |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: kendall Date: 13 Jun 01 - 11:47 AM I'm still waiting for someone to top this: A mathmetician named Hall Had a hexahedronical ball The cube of its' weight Plus his pecker, times eight Was four fifths, of five eights Of fuck all. |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: Jenny the T Date: 13 Jun 01 - 11:32 AM How about:
I sat next to the Duchess at tea JtT |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: The_one_and_only_Dai Date: 13 Jun 01 - 11:21 AM There was a young man from Dunoon Who would always eat soup with a fork. He said, "As I eat neither fish, fowl nor flesh, I would otherwise finish too quick." |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: Crazy Eddie Date: 13 Jun 01 - 09:34 AM Actually my two favourites are the Lady from Madras, and the "as many words in the last line...." one. So here is my next favourite. There was a young girl from the Clyde Who ate some green apples, and died For the apples fermented Inside the lamented And made cider inside 'er insides
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: hesperis Date: 13 Jun 01 - 09:08 AM My fave is that Titian one. I like it even better than my own first limerick ever! Both are in the DON'T POST threads. |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: Midchuck Date: 13 Jun 01 - 08:39 AM The Duchess enquired, at tea: "Good sir, do you fart when you pee?" I replied, with great wit: "Do you belch when you shit?" And considered it "one up" for me! P. |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: Snuffy Date: 13 Jun 01 - 08:31 AM The last time I dined with the king He did a peculiar thing He sat on a stool And pulled out his tool And said "If I play, will you sing?" Wassail! V |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: Frug Date: 13 Jun 01 - 07:04 AM There was a young girl from Madras Who had a Magnificent ass Not pretty and pink As you probably think It was grey had long ears and ate grass! |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: Micca Date: 13 Jun 01 - 06:33 AM Frug, Straight out of "Im sorry I havent a clue???" and from the Cleigh O'Possum is mad thread, with reference to the MannikinPis.. There was a wee belgian pisser who was a bit of a hitter or misser He pissed in the Grail which does without fail Lead to a punch in the kisser |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: Frug Date: 13 Jun 01 - 06:17 AM I've always enjoyed limericks and a couple of work colleagues and myself often play limerick games after a days work, particularly when we're on the road and having a few drinks at the end of the day. The game goes like this: one person starts and everyone in turn adds a line until the limerick is complete. The normal rules of rhyming and scanning must be adhered to. Anyone failing to contribute in appropriate way buys the next round of drinks. try it 'catters it's fun particularly if you can work in a few relevant themes from the day........It can also get very rude. Frank |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: Lyndi-loo Date: 13 Jun 01 - 06:10 AM Whoops I'm sure I typed in the last line. What happened there? Anyway, I'm sure thousands of people know that one! |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: Micca Date: 13 Jun 01 - 06:03 AM Lyndi.." twas' Roger the Lodger the Sod" |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: Lyndi-loo Date: 13 Jun 01 - 05:18 AM There was a girl from Cape Cod Who thought babies came from God But it wasn't the Almighty who lifted her nightie |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: GUEST,Lanfranc at the orifice Date: 13 Jun 01 - 05:15 AM Once Titian, while mixing rose madder Saw his model astride a high ladder Her position, to Titian Suggested coition So he climbed up the ladder and had her I'll go away now! |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: Les from Hull Date: 13 Jun 01 - 05:09 AM There was a young man of Japan Whose limericks just wouldn't scan When they said "Well the thing Doesn't go with a swing" He said "Well, you see, the trouble is that I always try to get as many words into the last line as I possibly can!" |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: Dug Date: 13 Jun 01 - 04:56 AM There once was a sailor named Bates Who danced the fandango on skates, Till he sat on a cutlass Which rendered him nutless And practically useless on dates |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: nutty Date: 13 Jun 01 - 04:51 AM There was a young lady from Norway Who hung by her heels in a doorway To her lover's dismay She shouted "Hooray" "I think I've discovered one more way" |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: Chip2447 Date: 13 Jun 01 - 02:42 AM There once was a girl named Monica, quite skilled at blowing harmonica, She fell to her knees, quite willing to please. And said, Mr President, happy Hanukkah... |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: SeanM Date: 13 Jun 01 - 02:39 AM I've always loved a rather morbid one from the Late Edward Gorey... There once was a prelate named Zane Whose brain was deranged from cocaine He lured a child To a copse dark and wild And beat it to death with his cane. Err... maybe this should have gone on the "are you a Goth?" thread... M |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: Blackcatter Date: 13 Jun 01 - 01:59 AM The one I've always loved was attributed to Winston Churchill. He (supposedly) used to tell a story of how during the darkest times of the London Blitz the BBC decided to have a limerick competition. Thousands of limericks came in from all over the British Empire and finally the funniest one was chosen. Because of the language of the limerick the most objectionable words had to be "beeped" out - leaving only those acceptable for most listeners. It was finally read on the air: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep, beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep, beep beep beep beep beep, beep beep beep beep beep, beep beep beep beep beep f*cking c*nt. pax yall |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: GUEST,Hagbard Date: 12 Jun 01 - 09:18 PM Alright.... There once was a man from Madras Who had balls made out of fine brass In times of bad weather He'd rub them together And sparks would fly out from his arse |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: CarolC Date: 12 Jun 01 - 08:59 PM Type DONT POST into the filter box, too, and set for one year. There's a lot of miscelaneous stuff on those threads, but also quite a few limericks. Some are quite good. |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: Justa Picker Date: 12 Jun 01 - 08:34 PM Type the word "Limerick" in the filter box on the main page. Set the date for 3 years. See what comes up. |
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Subject: RE: Favourite Limerick From: Don Firth Date: 12 Jun 01 - 08:27 PM (Oh, Lord! Prepare to duck. . . . ) |
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Subject: Favourite Limerick From: Shields Folk Date: 12 Jun 01 - 07:39 PM Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'Has anyone else a favourite limerick. My favourite is: There was a young girl from Long Horton, Who had one big tit and one short one. To top all of that, she had a big...... ...Er..Actually that wasn't a good choice but any other Favourites? |
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