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BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010

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gnu 15 Mar 10 - 01:42 PM
Liz the Squeak 15 Mar 10 - 12:36 PM
maeve 15 Mar 10 - 11:27 AM
gnu 15 Mar 10 - 11:24 AM
SINSULL 15 Mar 10 - 11:11 AM
gnu 15 Mar 10 - 10:13 AM
gnu 14 Mar 10 - 07:17 PM
Severn 13 Mar 10 - 02:48 AM
SINSULL 12 Mar 10 - 03:41 PM
VirginiaTam 12 Mar 10 - 03:35 PM
gnu 12 Mar 10 - 12:50 PM
SINSULL 12 Mar 10 - 12:40 PM
gnu 12 Mar 10 - 12:28 PM
SINSULL 12 Mar 10 - 11:56 AM
Severn 12 Mar 10 - 11:25 AM
SINSULL 12 Mar 10 - 09:23 AM
Liz the Squeak 12 Mar 10 - 03:00 AM
VirginiaTam 12 Mar 10 - 02:33 AM
Severn 12 Mar 10 - 12:53 AM
SINSULL 11 Mar 10 - 08:11 PM
gnu 11 Mar 10 - 03:59 PM
SINSULL 11 Mar 10 - 03:43 PM
VirginiaTam 11 Mar 10 - 03:19 PM
gnu 11 Mar 10 - 01:16 PM
SINSULL 11 Mar 10 - 12:45 PM
gnu 11 Mar 10 - 12:38 PM
SINSULL 11 Mar 10 - 09:07 AM
freda underhill 11 Mar 10 - 02:17 AM
GUEST,Nurse Ratched 11 Mar 10 - 02:04 AM
freda underhill 11 Mar 10 - 01:39 AM
GUEST,Nurse Ratched 11 Mar 10 - 01:32 AM
VirginiaTam 10 Mar 10 - 05:28 PM
Severn 10 Mar 10 - 04:40 PM
gnu 10 Mar 10 - 04:13 PM
Severn 10 Mar 10 - 03:48 PM
VirginiaTam 10 Mar 10 - 02:01 PM
Severn 10 Mar 10 - 01:20 PM
Liz the Squeak 10 Mar 10 - 10:27 AM
SINSULL 10 Mar 10 - 08:30 AM
freda underhill 10 Mar 10 - 06:25 AM
Severn 10 Mar 10 - 05:59 AM
GUEST,Nurse Ratched 10 Mar 10 - 04:17 AM
Severn 10 Mar 10 - 02:40 AM
SINSULL 09 Mar 10 - 03:49 PM
Liz the Squeak 09 Mar 10 - 03:22 AM
SINSULL 08 Mar 10 - 04:47 PM
Severn 08 Mar 10 - 04:43 PM
SINSULL 05 Mar 10 - 01:04 PM
Severn 04 Mar 10 - 07:20 PM
gnu 04 Mar 10 - 04:28 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: gnu
Date: 15 Mar 10 - 01:42 PM

I was rather remiss when I found out he was doing innuendoscopes this morning also. I coulda got a two-for-one! I mean, I had to be there anyway.

Hehehee... the prep nurse jabbed the IV in the crook of my left elbow and said, "Oh dear." I said, "We just met." She had a foul look on her face and said, "I can't see valves and I can't feel valves... I can only find them." She tried pumping some saline in to see if she could get a flow. Then she looked at the back of my right hand and said, "That looks like a good one." Worked a treat. I have two nice bruises. Small spuds, but when it's not necessary... you know.

The exam room nurse, Clara Voyant, asked me if I enjoyed the final Brier game last night. I looked surprised and then puzzled when I said yes. She said, "Oh. I can smell beer on anyone who has had even one in the last 24 hours. I was a triage nurse for 27 years." The doc told me to open wide and said, "The only way to describe the taste of this numbing spray is skunk piss." Then Clara says, "He's used to skunk piss." How did she know I was drinking Bud while watching the curling game?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Mar 10 - 12:36 PM

And pray you don't get the same camera!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: maeve
Date: 15 Mar 10 - 11:27 AM

High time and beyond for the referral to come through. Hang in there, gnu.

maeve


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: gnu
Date: 15 Mar 10 - 11:24 AM

SINS... This was the otherendoscope. ENT, since July 13.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: SINSULL
Date: 15 Mar 10 - 11:11 AM

In my experience, the preparation for a colonoscopy is far worse than the procedure itself. Last time I was out cold before the doctor came in. Woke up degassed and ready to go home.
Strange to wake up in a roomful of people farting loudly and one poor guy who couldn't. He was hurting.
Hope all is well, gnu. How long a wait for an ENT?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: gnu
Date: 15 Mar 10 - 10:13 AM

Doc said things "looked good". Followup when the test results are back. Now if I could just get to see an ENT.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: gnu
Date: 14 Mar 10 - 07:17 PM

I am preparing for my scope in the AM. I may need some TLC on the morrow. Be apprised that I may be even more of a pain than usual. Yes, hard to believe but true. In anticipation, don't piss me off. I assume the hospital staff here, who seem to excel at it, will do that well enough, as has been my fortune over the past years. Free health care in Canada? Yeah... every time I go in, they make me pay with incompetence and indifference and unprofessionalism.

Sorry for the ween, but I just... have been there and done that, more than once, and I am not looking forward to the morrow with anything less than trepidation.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: Severn
Date: 13 Mar 10 - 02:48 AM

Wiener take all?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 03:41 PM

(ASIDE)Does this mean that we get to take care of Ratched? Colonoscopies and all?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 03:35 PM

SCRREEEEEECCCHHHH ssmmasshhhh tinkle    THUMP


HELP! My tail got in the way of TSO's view, it doesn't fit well into the car and well...

It's Nurse Ratched... We accidentally hit her.. and GOD! It is awful.   Her hair went flying off and a little wiener dog snatched it and ran off with it.

Ratched is alive, but she just moaning and lying there.

Somebody please help.

I am afraid the poor little wiener dog might chew up her hair and get sick. We gotta find him.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: gnu
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 12:50 PM

No need to Escalade anything. It was just a joke.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 12:40 PM

Keep that up, gnu, and you will be spending the rest of this thread on the Tiger Woods Alternative Therapy Floor.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: gnu
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 12:28 PM

He got a job from the Head Nurse?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 11:56 AM

Hari Kari, the new Indian orderly, walks smartly out the HR office thrilled that he has finally landed a paying job. He tucks his Tandoori Chicken and Goat Curry lunch away in the hemotology fridge, chains his elephant to his locker and goes off in search of the head nurse to report for duty.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: Severn
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 11:25 AM

There is a loud shriek from the shower as Nurse Ratched finds that all her hair is falling out from her shampoo. She quickly throws on some fresh clothes (with an extra large nurse's cap) and is halfway down the hallway when she finds herself itching like crazy and scratching like a hound. It seems that the orderly sent to replace the contents of her locker was a certain Native American .Nurse Ratched has to go back to the shower, turn on the hot water and turn the shower room into a sauna to open up her pores and enable herself to rid herself of the insulation.

This buys enough time for Running Sore to make his getaway. "Sauna of a bitch!I've found a new way to do MY scalping.", he laughs to himself as he crawls out from under Liz's bed and after giving her a quick apology, leaves on the run. He has applied for emergency leave and has plane reservations to Oklahoma where he has reservations at a reservaton and no reservations about having to flee the horse-spittle. Within the half hour, he is on a plane and gone. "It'll be good", he thinks to himself, "to get back to his dear old home at Teepee 109.". The Great Spirit only knows if we'll ever see him again.

Alas, Liz, another one's gotten away....

Ratched corners Lily Festre, and after getting the name of a few shops, goes off to become a wig-ed witch.

"There'll be the devil to pay!", Nurse Ratched snarls.

"There'll be the she-devil toupee", thinks Severn, but keeps it to himself until he's sure that the angry bald nurse is out of the building.

Nobody's looking forward to the next few weeks with Ratched, as having been successfully trumped on both the ring and the scalping, she is liable to be inspired to new heights of cruelty.

I wonder who our next orderly will be?.....




I hope everybody's faring well in their recoveries.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 09:23 AM

And so go the days of our lives...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 03:00 AM

Meanwhile, LTS is left forlornly holding her bucket and thinking - is the hassle of re- re-scheduling a visit to HR worth leaving my nice warm bed - now that I've finally got it warm....

Why is the universe so perverse that when every other woman around my age gets hot flashes, I get cold ones?!

And why is there a bald man under my bed? You knows I likes 'em hairy....!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 02:33 AM

TSO... says that would be a VERY odd hot tub.

Hey these legs don't hurt so much any more. Thanks Venus, you must've worked the kinks out!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: Severn
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 12:53 AM

InterVenus DeMilo is willing to part with Virginia Tam's legs but wants to keep the engagement ring. The already-married Virginia Tam has very generously agreed to part with the quite valuable but extra ring.

"Ain't THAT big o' me!", says VT.

Her husband is quite fond of the legs and has become quite attatched to them when they're attatched to her, but he DOES want her to keep the prosthetis tail around for the odd hot tub fantasy.....

A crowd ofSpecialists has gathered around Ms. DeMilo to deternine how to remove the ring, and most are even examining the right pair of legs.

A forfit of forefeet, that is to say the front two feet of her four feet, must be accomplished so that the removal of the ring is painless to both InterVenus AND VT, despite Nurse Ratched's protests. It's hard to tell what she wanted most, the ring or to witness the pain.

Three doctors hold the leg while another pulls on the ring that's on a freshly greased toe. After four unsuccessful tries, with a loud POP, a ring from her toe then they most quick-i-lye drew and restored it to Ms. DeMilo while Nurse Ratched gave her a glare that could cook an ox. She'd better guard that ring closely while she's in the building.

The four doctors heartily congradulated each other on a job well done and went down to a Doc-side bar to celebrate the large consulting fees they would all eventually collect. It took Drs. Fine and all three Howard brothers, Shemp having to have been called in from the West Coast.

Ain't it GREAT to have Specialists!....

A note was handed to Nurse Ratched saying that her request for an orderly to remove everything from her locker and have it with fresh replacements had been successfully carried out.

InterVenus DeMilo gets a message from her insurance provider, Allstate, promising her good hands.

Herman decline's The Squid's challenge of a best-of-ten arm wrestling match, reminding him that InterVenus DeMilo had originally lost both of her arms in a wrestling match to win a brown-eyed handsome man.

Most of the gang goes off to check out SINSULL'S JD-IV and cheer her up.

We leave VT alone with her husband, and they goes home, her tail wagging behind her.

Severn looks at Nurse Mary Ellen Cauterize and then at InterVenus, thinking, "Decisions, decisions......".

Could things actually be back to normal?....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: SINSULL
Date: 11 Mar 10 - 08:11 PM

Better than that, as I walked away she quipped "I have the same problem" I responded and ran "We all worry about you, Linda." Cracked her up.
She is on her way to Hawaii for a birthday and anniversary celebration. I hope she enjoys every minute - a really nice lady.

My hand has swollen and turned a variety of shades of red and purple. Hurts like hell. The worst is trying to release the seatbelt on my car. Every finger hurts and the thumb has a nasty cut - I'll take some cheese with my wine.
Did I mention that my nose is all scabby?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: gnu
Date: 11 Mar 10 - 03:59 PM

Heheheheee. Cute.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: SINSULL
Date: 11 Mar 10 - 03:43 PM

On the ice in December or january. I forget. This time I just fell down. Very embarrassing. I was wearing shoes that don't support my ankle. It turned and I ended up on my face. I am joking about it but I really was very lucky not to end up in the ER. The head of HR saw me in the ladies room and was surprised that I had another cold. I replied that it was just a fall on my face caused by my problem drinking. Great lady - she laughed.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 11 Mar 10 - 03:19 PM

Mary... Didn't you fall down and get badly bruised last year? Seem to remember reading this on mudcat... or am I having deja view.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: gnu
Date: 11 Mar 10 - 01:16 PM

Good! Ya can't be too careful with any cut, no matter how small. You only need to get cellulitis (spg?) once and EVERY cut after that can be a problem. I first got cellulitis from a spider bite, then from a hornet sting, then from another hornet sting while I was working under my truck in the mud. I now carry alcohol swabs and bandaids in my truck and I USE em.

When the doc draws two lines around the infected area with an ink pen and says, "First line, call me. Second line, go to the hospital.", ya take notice.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: SINSULL
Date: 11 Mar 10 - 12:45 PM

Yup. Carefully cleaned and disinfected. Thanks, gnu. I am fine just a bit battered and bruised and that's just my ego.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: gnu
Date: 11 Mar 10 - 12:38 PM

Just read about this on Maeve's thread. Hope you tend to the cuts very carefully.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: SINSULL
Date: 11 Mar 10 - 09:07 AM

GROANNNNN
I fell down and went boom. No kidding. Righton my face outside my office. Bruised knee, cut finger, bruised wrist...I'm hruting all over. Worst of all the entire office saw it happen. LOL An attendant at the garage came running over and said "I thought it was a circus act then I realized you were hurt." So embarrassing. Bloody face, gushing finer cuts, all that concern and all I wanted was to get in my car and get the hell out of there.
WHINE!
Now I hurt. Fingers and fingernails are bruised. Wrist hurts. Knee hurts.


HEY!
Is anybody paying attention???? Stop chasing each other around and get me a bed and a JD IV>
SINS
PS Yes - I laughed. I sat on the ground and laughed.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: freda underhill
Date: 11 Mar 10 - 02:17 AM

Burn Unit Nurse Mary Ellen Cauterize wondered about that slow-burning love, and whether he knew what she was really like...

But, what the squid, she could rise again....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: GUEST,Nurse Ratched
Date: 11 Mar 10 - 02:04 AM

These guys don't deserve understanding, they're damn stupid.

Is she calling us stupid? said the squid? Herman and the Mermen nodded, started a soft-sea shuffler, and they agreed...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: freda underhill
Date: 11 Mar 10 - 01:39 AM

Meanwhile, Kendall, Weird Herman, the Squid, and a shantyful of Merman tabbyknackered choiristers raced after LtS, VT, VdM and SNSL, asking for understanding, with fins and fingers raised..


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: GUEST,Nurse Ratched
Date: 11 Mar 10 - 01:32 AM

Now, time to hang up the towel and head for.......

OH NO.
Someone's been in my things and I've got a....









HURT LOCKER. I'm not touching a thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 05:28 PM

which left foot... cuz if it is my left foot... when it swells it will be stuck there...

and when I need my legs back... that ring will be mine... only I am already married, so that might be tantamount to bigamy...

this is getting too weird even for me..

Hey Liz... when they put that 24 hour heart monitor on me, I got the hiccups within about 20 minutes. not little little hics... great big painful wino in the alley HICCUPS. It was embarrassing to have to right that on the notes of activities I kept while wearing it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: Severn
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 04:40 PM

"Sorry",says Running Sore. "That should've been 'heave away' rather than 'heal away a couple of posts ago. Great Spirit Almighty,I can't even mutter right anymore...."


When InterVenus DeMilo kicked Herman and sent him flying, she ended up getting what she came for, as the engagement ring fell out of his pocket and she scooped it up and it's now on the index toe of her left foot.

"I'd see him dead before I'd see that bitch Ratched wear it!", she vowed and chased after to finish him off until tripped up "by that long scarf some Pia Zadora Duncan wannabe threw at me!".....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: gnu
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 04:13 PM

I still have it but I can't find it!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: Severn
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 03:48 PM

Running Sore, still in a good mood passes Lily Festre, waves with one hand and taps his bald head with the other and says, "How, Chemo Sabe!"


"Too bad she's happily taken.", the Indian thinks to himself, "I could settle down with her and raise a tribe of Festre-ing Sores any day! Mmmmm-mmmm! Lookin' GOOD!"


HEY, Don't worry! You've still got it, Lily!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 02:01 PM

♬ hhmmmmmm hhmmmmm la la la la under da sea... under da sea....


splish.... splash   lovely warm water...

bloop....bloop..... bloop...

Oh deary me, pardon the bubbles. Somebody put the jets on please.

And whatever you do.... do NOT put the squid or Herman the merman in here with me.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: Severn
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 01:20 PM

Newly-bald orderly Running Sore grudgingly replaces Liz's full bucket with yet another empty one and mutters to himself, "I'm no sailor, but every time they have to heal away, I have to haul away......"

He is still furious over being scalped by Nurse Ratched for helping out InterVenus DeMilo back in the Radiation Lab and considers himself on the Warpath. He had noticed that in her haste to get back into proper uniform and re-exert control, she had left her locker unlocked and was trying to come up with a plan for revenge as he rolled his cart down the hallway when he sees some workmen replacing some hallway ceiling tiles and a little cartoon light bulb clicks on over his shiny head.

He holds out a plastic garbage bag and asks the workmen to throw him down a loose chunk of insulation. Then he quickly sneaks down to the hospital pharmacy for some dipilitory. Back at the locker, making sure he's unseen, he pours some of the Nair into Nurse Ratched's shampoo bottle and gives it a few shakes. Then, after donning a fresh set of rubber gloves, he takes the insulation and rubs it on the inside of her spare starched uniforms and even her spare undergarments.

"That'll make her start from scratch!", he says to himself with a wicked grin.......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 10:27 AM

Oh nurse, the bucket, THE BUCKET!!!!


LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 08:30 AM

I'm still confused. Why does she need four legs? Apposable thumbs are handy. How did she manage the lock without fingers? Is someone running around here with four hands and no feet?
I was sad because I had no shoes then I saw a woman who had four feet...I mean, no feet and four hands.
I guess that's what comes of hanging around a radiation lab.

Now back to our story.
The inmates are sick and tired of all the noise and running around. Kendall is first to the door with a huge harpoon, followed by Curmudgeon with a concertina and LilyFestre with long pink scarf. A big bald Indian joins in the commotion and helps Kendall wedge the harpoon into the jamp and pop the door open just as Weird Herman comes flying through the air screaming in pain over the heads of the horrified onlookers. He cartwheels down the hall and into the arms of Nurse Ratched. DeMilo the Demented follows after but in the knick/nick of time Lily tangles her feet (all four of them) in the chemo scarf and sends her ass over teakettle down the same hall also into the arms of Ratched who by now is apoplectic.
Mid air DeMilo grabbed Tom's squeeze box and and upon landing hobbled Herman's Hermits with a salty hornpipe as Kendall...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: freda underhill
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 06:25 AM

LoL! this is fun!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: Severn
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 05:59 AM

Notice that not only did Nurse Ratched find a new overstarched uniform (more starch than an Army mess hall dinner and she seems to LIKE it that way!), but she seems to have what looks like a human scalp on her belt. Nobody has seen or heard from Running Sore for a while, come to think of it

We later found the now-bald Indian in a cupboard, and when we finally took the gag from his mouth, he swore some sort of revenge. It's a bit unnerving to hear a hospital worker talking about "heap bad medicine"....

But we're getting wa-a-a-aay ahead of ourselves here. As we left the earlier action, a crowd of people were banging on a locked Radiation Lab door to try to prevent the fury of a woman scorned being vented upon Herman the Radiologist.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: GUEST,Nurse Ratched
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 04:17 AM

This job stinks. I keep this ward disinfected, irradiated and antidiluted, and a bunch of Merman wearing fishtails and singing Grey Flannette Line in falsetto take over and get the place vibrating.

Sev, bend over, and take a deep breath while I insert my speculator. Your mouth needs a rinse with some medicinal soap, any more lip and you'll be Fish Fingers before you know it!

LtS - you, love, need an aloevera and lavendar massage to get your strength back. But I don't do that stuff, you'll have to tell Himself to assist.

Sinsull, what the hell, who needs discipline when squids are still enchained? You free that squid and you'll regret it, girl. Many hands make ... oh never mind. This place smells fishy.

N.R.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: Severn
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 02:40 AM

Liz,

No, you say? More?
OK!

SINSULL,

Here's your plot synopsis....

Now back to the continuing soap opera of "General Hospitiful"

Ms. DeMilo now is back to four legs, Her own two behind and the two that were disowned by Virginia Tam in favor of a new designer Mermaiden Japan haute coture prosthetic tail and were thrown back to InterVenus through the back door by American Indian orderly Running Sore. Nurse Ratched managed to escape the Radiology Lab and was last seen running down a back corridor in hot persuit of Running Sore. De Milo, front legs now reinstalled, has managed to lock the back door before her ex-fiancee could escape and now is preparing to angrily face off with poor frightened Herman.

Meanwhile, the rest of the procession from the hallway has just arrived outside and are just starting to bang on the locked front Radiation Lab door.

Virginia Tam is now in the therapy pool.

Y'all caught?

If so, feel welcome to twist the story further in any way that suits you


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Mar 10 - 03:49 PM

The squid!?!? Oh crap, the squid! Is he still chained up on the wall in the tavern? Damn that Ratched! i,ll be back.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Mar 10 - 03:22 AM

NOOOOOOOOO MOOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Please!!!

I'm laughing so hard, the heart monitor I'm presently wired up to is going to cause major consternation when I hand it back tonight!!! (24hour jobby... amazing how much technology has improved in just 5 years. The one I had last time looked like an original Star Trek tri-corder and had to be hung on a strap over my shoulder! This one is only a wee bit bigger than the average pager and clips happily onto my pocket... or my bra strap for when I don't have pockets, or my jammie trousers when I don't have either.)

The sticky lead grips mean I still look like I've been rogered by the squid though...

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: SINSULL
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 04:47 PM

ASIDE>>>
Does De Milo now have legs and feet? Hands? I lost count.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: Severn
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 04:43 PM

When we get this Radiation Ward mess over with, I'll introduce VT to a friend of mine from Atlantis who sings first tenor in the Merman Tabernacle Choir (a Coral Music group who perform with the Eddystone Light Orchestra). Once he gets past his "What's a nice girl like you doing in a dive like this?" line, he'll do just fine. He comes from a long line of Piano Tunas on his mother's side and would probably love to play your scales......

Meanwhile, Ms. DeMilo, upon reaching the Ward and finding Nurse Ratched and her one-time fiancee The Wierd Guy From Radiology (Whose nametag reads "Herman". As in "He was Herman, but he done her wrong", I guess) en flagrante in another sort of "engagemant", locks the door behind her. Running Sore, who knows all sorts of hospital short cuts, pops in a back door and tosses VT's spare pair of feet to InterVenus after offering in vain to install them himself (He gets off on that sort of thing), While she is quickly reinstalling her set of front limbs, Nurse Ratched, who normally never backs down from a fight but is still technically Chief Nurse On Duty, throws on a lab coat and runs out the door, chasing after the Indian orderly. Herman, with pants around his ankles, can't move fast enough as Ms. DeMilo Locks the other door and turns to face him.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 01:04 PM

I heard her say "I know you thought the leg you took was wooden but in the dark you goofed and took my good'un..."


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: Severn
Date: 04 Mar 10 - 07:20 PM

I'd dreamed about melting togrther with that woman, but I'd assumed we'd both be in a state of heat.

It seems that VT's gone Ethel Mermaid on us, according to the last "A-fish-in-sea report" we've recieved. Running Sore was said to havesuffered a direct slap across the face with her prosthetic tail, but "Chief" swears it was just a fluke shot. If someone gave her a comb and a glass we may all be sunk!

Still smarting from his fluke rebuke, Running Sore was last seen heading back towards the Radiation Lab to see if Ms. Demilo wants the surplus limbs back and reinstalled. "Forelegged is forearmed", so they say...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010
From: gnu
Date: 04 Mar 10 - 04:28 PM

É = question mark on my keyboard until I reboot.


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