BS: Chongo needs a wife!

Subject: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 11:51 PM

Chongo is not married. He never has been married. He's a lifetime bachelor whose private eye office is generally a housekeeping disaster. American Primate Party (APP) strategists are beginning to realize that this could be a real detriment to his ever being elected president, because the American public has always been very reluctant to vote for any candidate who doesn't have a wife and family. Chongo has no prospective "First Lady" to gaze at him adoringly while he harangues his audiences and to make feisty speeches on behalf of his campaign. He has no "family values" image to offer! This could be a real crisis...a fatal weakness in Chongo's whole election plan!

The solution is obvious. We have to find Chongo a feisty and attractive wife who reassures the average American voter about Chongo's solid family values and who can stand beside him through good times and bad, through thick and thin, and we have to do it fast! The children can come later. I foresee wedding bells ringing by September 1st if not sooner.

Only question is...who the heck could it be? He hasn't had a girlfriend in awhile now, and the ones he had back then were, well...I'd have to say they were what I would term as pretty "casual"...

Obama's has Michelle. Hillary has Bill. McCain has...uh...what's her name?...? But who does Chongo have? No one!

The only female he has been even tenuously linked to lately is this impressive professional gal from Chicago, who is presently working fulltime on his campaign team at the highest level:

Renata Carson & Chongo Chimp

Could "Renata Carson Chimp" soon be the name of the next First Lady of the USA? And are people ready for such a union? For that matter, are American apes and monkeys ready for such a union?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 12:01 AM

Chongo doesn't need a wife, he needs a keeper! (Regardless of his species!)

Besides, look what happens when you start trying this mix and match stuff. Would they have children?

Check out a discreet keeper. Like a secret service agent for him.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: GUEST,number 6
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 12:17 AM

Too bad Golda Meir isn't alive ... perfect match.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 12:24 AM

I've got three words for you.

Helena Bonham Chongo!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 01:00 AM

This is for you LH. You will love the third one.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 01:30 AM

Ya know, the perfect mate for him would probably be Chinga. Chimps don't dig Darwin and related taboos, so, it's kinda like gay marriage -- if they don't care, why should you?

She could change her name before the wedding to Timadre, so as to make it look legit, like, to an adoring American public.

Much better than this interspecies notion of LH's, which is certainly illegal in some states.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 03:33 AM

(The)15th U.S. president James Buchanan is the only unmarried man ever to be elected president. Buchanan was engaged to be married once; however, his fiancée died suddenly after breaking off the engagement, and he remained a bachelor all his life.

There is precedent.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Emma B
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 06:14 AM

The hand that rocks the cradle
rules the world

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 11:29 AM

LOL! I like that 2nd link, Emma...

Amos, you perfidious rumor-mongering scoundrel, I see you are at it again with this dreadful business about Chongo's supposed sister, "Chinga". Shocking! Disturbing! Outrageous! Tandependentious! When will you cease this ridiculous attempt to compromise the most significant political movement of our times?

Would you like it if I started telling tales about your sister, Sluttina? No, you wouldn't. Have a little decency.

"Chinga Timadre"   - LOL!!!!!! Boy, talk about an unfortunate name.....

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Emma B
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 01:24 PM

Be careful Amos and......
look behind you!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 01:29 PM

Denial will not avail you any sway with the reading public, sirrah, nor all the calumnies you muster on my name shake my clarity about Chinga one jot nor one tittle. Your tendentious persiflage will not obscure the facts of the matter as regards Chinga, and I notice in your bloviations you have carefully avoided remarking on my perfectly workable PR plan for Chongo to marry his sister, Chinga...


A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 03:28 PM

Har! Har! Har! "tendentious persiflage" (Gawd...I'm falling out of my chair here and wiping the tears from my eyes...) I sure love the way you talk when you get going, Amos, but you're still wrong, dead wrong, and digging yourself in deeper all the time. I see that we are going to have to release some of the absolutely sordid revelations we have been keeping under wraps about your depraved sister, Sluttina. Yes, we will have to contact the tabloids. Well, you asked for it. The "Roundheel Diaries" will soon be common knowledge on the talk show circuit. Brittney Spears will be actually able to relax for awhile and take a break. A good thing, because she desperately needs one.

Chongo will marry his sister (either one of them...he has 2) when HELL freezes over, Amos. He has his standards and they are a long, long way above the very lax standards of the southern California pseudo-intellectual nouveau riche, I assure you. He is a gentleman from the old school.

Now, let's see. Jennifer Aniston? Is she hooked up with anyone at present? Is she still on the rebound from Brad? Does she go for political progressives with a fresh new approach and a really long reach? Gotta look into that.

I've told Chongo that Winona Ryder is OUT, though. She's mine.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 04:02 PM

I think Chongo should play it safe. Forget the hot chicks and go for the simian equivalent of Barbara Bush.

Sure, Chongo'd have to work at getting her to put her clothes on before going out in public, but it's a start.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 05:27 PM

The Governor's wife just left, so I don't have time to deal with this right now. But I suggest Chongo take to heart the words of St. Paul or somebody like that:

"It is better to marry than to burn."

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Gurney
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 06:00 PM

There was a woman in our town
who married a chimpanzee.
the issue was horrid,
all balls and no forehead,
ate peanuts, and lived in a tree.


I do not believe Chongo would contemplate a miscegenatical marriage.


Bonking, yes, but not marriage.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: GUEST,DV
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 06:23 PM

You know what they say about arranged marriages--they are only as good as the matchmaker.

That said, I understand Bubbles is single.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8uSSIch1ZY&feature=related

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 06:24 PM

Isn't Bubbles a guy?

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 06:26 PM

You may be right, Gurney. He is inherently rather conservative about a lot of things. Still, I think if it was a case of true love, then anything could happen. The social stigma would be intense, though. It would be difficult for such an interspecies couple to find acceptance in Chicago, to say nothing of Murfreesburo...

Bee-Dubya, I have just one thing to say about that picture you posted.

EEEEEE-YAAAUGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (averting eyes hastily and closing screen in utter horror)

I needed a stiff drink after seeing that one.

The fact is, Chongo doesn't particularly dig Orangutans. They just don't turn his crank.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 06:29 PM

Look, let's face it: after that fling he had with Jane after she was discarded by Tarzan's "friend", after what he did with Joan Baez, after being found in that sleazy hotel room with Sheenah "Queen" of the Jungle, after that "wide stance" in the men's room at Fat Freddies', after the treatments for a veritable plethora of social diseases, who'd want him? Except politics, I mean.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: GUEST,DV
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 06:30 PM

Or maybe he needs a few new pointers to "freshen up" his game?

http://www.reuters.com/article/scienceNews/idUSN1145375020070912?feedType=RSS&feedName=scienceNews&pageNumber=1

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: GUEST,DV
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 06:32 PM

Well, apparently I fail the blue clicky test.

While it may be anti-climactic, this is what I'm talking about!

Forbidden fruit: Chimp ladies love it

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Pilfered fruit brazenly plucked under the farmer's gaze may be the secret to stolen love, at least for wild male chimpanzees and their consorts, British researchers said on Tuesday.

Wild chimps in West Africa pinch fruits from local farms to impress the lady chimps, and it seems to pay off, said Dr. Kimberley Hockings of the University of Stirling's department of psychology.

"The adult male who shared most with this female engaged in more consortships with her and received more grooming from her than the other adult males, even the alpha male," said Hockings, whose study appears in the Public Library of Science journal PLoS One.

"Such daring behavior may be considered an attractive trait," Hockings said in comments e-mailed to Reuters.

She and colleagues studied crop-raids made by wild male chimpanzees in the West African village of Bossou in the Republic of Guinea. The study is the only recorded example of routine sharing of plant foods by chimps who are not related, the researchers said.

The favored fruit was typically papaya, which is large and easy to share, but oranges and pineapple also scored.

Hockings said possessing a desirable food item may draw positive attention to an individual and help establish or cement an adult male chimpanzee's relationships.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 07:09 PM

this has little to do with the thread

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 08:08 PM

Hey! Nice picture anyway, Jack.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 09:05 PM

Well, there is an indirect connection between that picture of Chongo's campaign team execs and his getting married. They ar eprobably signing him up for a matchmaking site.



A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 09:11 PM

Nah, that's just the usual crowd using the public Internet connections in the library.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 09:46 PM

Chongo wants a wife...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 09:51 PM

chongo escapes!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Bill D
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 10:19 PM

Perhaps.....

and if he wants to run for office

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 11:45 PM

Oy! Scary.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 09:16 AM

May I humbly point out that Chongo HAS a wife and children?

Yes, he was drunk at the time, but the marriage and births are all registered in the Clerk's office in Chicago (Book 1543, page 174, line 6 for the marriage). A reporter recently spoke with Mrs. C, who told her that "that bastard goes around pretending to be a hot-shot private dick, ya know, but he hasn't kept his dick private any time. He's out there messing around with those blond bimbos and me and the kids are back here on East 59th, livin' in a sweatbox and eatin' Wheaties and hamburger. I only see him when he wants a little more of the old you-know-what or when he's too drunk to remember where he's currently living or who he's living with. Well, at least he usually remembers to send the child support, the bastard. Is that White House place air conditioned? Cuz our last fan broke when Junior shoved a railroad spike in the blades."

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 09:43 AM

I always assumed that he was one of those fundamentalist Mormons and that he had dozens of wives and hundreds of chimplings.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 10:32 AM

Britney Spears - look at all the publicity he will get. And we all know that when in doubt the American voter will choose the name that seems most familiar - at least the ones who can read.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 11:08 AM

Ya gotta admit, Chongo is more evolved than Federline.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 11:50 AM

They don't even have to read, Stilly. They just hear it on the TV or radio a few times, and that does the trick. We live in an audio-visual culture where anything that takes longer than fifteen seconds is unlikely to be comprehended remembered. Anything that takes less than fifteen seconds, however, will be believed as long as it is repeated often enough and as long as it appeals to people's prurient nature, their fear, their greed or their sense of drama.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Tweed
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 02:38 PM

OH!! I thought this thread was "Chongo needs a Life".....nevermind..

Have you tried getting him hooked up with that madcap little vixen Penny "Candy" Rudledge??

TWeed

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 04:27 PM

I don't think she's "free" right now. Mind you, I'm not sure she ever was...

Chongo would have to make some significant changes before he could think of marrying a Rutledge. Some very significant changes. We're talking a complete makeover here. We may even be talking of another physical incarnation altogether.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 04:53 PM

Not only not free, but highly costly and a terrible waste, too, according tot he skinny on Carnaby about her.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Tweed
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 05:16 PM

Yaz, and particular fond of her electrical bananas aslo.

I'm beginnin' to see a definite connection here.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Gurney
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 05:37 PM

LH, I agree that we're living in an audio-visual culture now.

However, speaking strictly personally, READING is an audio-visual experience when I'm doing it. How on earth do you read without making a sound?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:00 PM

Which sound do you mean? Muttering as your lips move? Or the grinding of the mental gears?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:07 PM

WHAT IS CHONGO GOING TO DO ABOUT BAENGA, THE WIFE HE ALREADY HAS, AND HIS THREE CHIMP CHILDREN??? (As reported in the Chicago Daily News, July 19, 2008.)

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:11 PM

Oh for heaven's sake....

Look, man, am I gonna have to send Shane down there to "straighten you out"? Am I? Huh? You're pushing it, man.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:16 PM

A. "Shane" is still in the Big House, the Slammer, the Calabozo.
2. I'm just askin' a pertinent question.
III. If Chongo doesn't give a straight answer on this his campaign is over, man, OVER!!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Emma B
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:17 PM

Man, are you pushing it!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:20 PM

LOL! Wonderful!

Rapaire, Chongo is going to answer these latest allegations shortly. Just you wait.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:23 PM

Really? I'm quite ready for trouble....

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:32 PM

Nice set of Samurai equipment, Rapaire. I'm impressed.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:53 PM

Yeah. You send "Shane". I'd like that....

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:56 PM

I think Chinga could handle that Paladin Boone feller with one foot tied behind her back.



A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:58 PM

Probably, but she'd look pretty silly hopping around on one foot and two hands.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 09:16 PM

Chongo packs firepower that would reduce Paladin to a grease spot in about half a second.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 10:11 PM

Mister Boone might find her, well, compelling....



A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 11:13 PM

Chongo packs a flippin' water gun if we went head-to-head in our respective firepowers,
I think. And these are just what I use to hunt bunny rabbits and annoying chumps chimps.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 11:22 PM

Man, the testosterone levels are goin' way up on this thread....

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 11:28 PM

Yup. Time for some ketchup. I don't think any of you are getting enough in your diets. And then you can try some buttermilk biscuits (in the big blue box).

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 09:36 AM

Chongo needs a wife
Chongo needs a wife
High ho the derry o,
Chongo needs a wife.

Now he has a campaign song.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: GUEST,Baenga
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 04:22 PM

Now you people listen to me! I'm a chimp, yes, but I've got feelings just like you. And that ratty-ass Chongo is my legal husband and the father of my three kids and there's another on the way as well. He sends me money, but that bastard spends his time down in the Loop playing footsie with cops and bimbos instead of working in a steel mill or on the docks so that he can make some decent money to support his wife and kids like he should. And when he does come home he's generally too damned drunk to recognize his ass in a mirror, much less spare some time for his kids. As for me, well, you can guess what he wants from me! I've asked him and asked him, but no, he's off on some big "case" for the Mayor or somebody. And speaking of a "case", I finally got rid of the one he gave me last year, just in time to find myself knocked up by that cheating bastard again. Anybody that would vote for him for garbageman, much less President, would have rocks in their head and should be put out of their misery.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 08:52 PM

Okay, I've had about enough of these lies and unfounded accusations. And I know who is behind 'em all too. My political opponents in the Obama and McCain campaigns and a few old personal enemies, that's who.

This dippy babe, Baenga, who is a total nutcase, useta be married to a chimp all right, but it wasn't me. It was Looey "The Peeler" Lobodo from South Chicago. Looey was a cheap hood, a dealer, and a fence. He was movin' stolen goods through a storefront that was maskeradin' as a cigar store. I useta buy cigars there, matter of fact. At first I though Looey was an okay guy and I been invited over to his place a few times in the old days.

I could tell his marriage with Baena was under some stress, but it wasn't none of my business. She was cheatin' on Looey. Looey was cheatin' on her. I didn't worry about that cos it was their life, not mine. Then Looey got caught with his hand in the till, as they say, and I had to take him down hard. He spent 5 years in the pen and he never came out. Some gorillas and baboons that he owed a lotta money to made sure of that. Looey was found dead one day with 55 knife wounds to the torso, and a copy of Primate Weekly shoved up his...well, never mind about that.

Baenga was officially free after that and she made a big play for me, but I ain't the kind of sap to fall for that sort of dodge. I knew she was no good, so I stayed away. Well, you know dames. They don't take rejection so good. Baenga has been out to get me ever since. She has been waitin' and bidin' her time, and now that I am runnin' for president she figgers it's time to tighten the screws.

I got no idea who fathered Baenga's three brats...and I'm guessin' that it could been any three of about 150 likely candidates in the local primate community. She had a lotta "visitors" afterhours...including baboons. Only one thing I am sure of: it wasn't me that was the father of any of her kids. No chance. I am not that stupid to get hooked up with that crazy chippie.

The fact that this bozo Rapaire would stoop to promotin' this kind of scandalous stuff and allyin' himself with the roundest pair of heels in the whole Chicago Primate community tells me that he has been bought by either Obama's or McCain's people. They are gettin' desperate. They will stoop to anything. Well, it's not gonna work. Nothin' they throw at me is gonna stick. This campaign is goin' all the way to the finish line, and no buncha lies and innuendos are gonna derail the APP victory train! We are pullin' into the station on time in November, and nothin' is gonna stop us!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 08:58 PM

Chongo -- there's the DNA testing. It matches yours, 99.87% positive.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Jul 08 - 03:46 PM

I think he might argue that your DNA matches his at 99.87%.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 08 - 04:02 PM

I never used acid! And if I did I never inhaled!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jul 08 - 06:34 PM

Sooo.. sniff... like... sniff... with that acid shit... sniff.. ya don't inhale? Ahhhhuuuhhhhuuuffff. Sooo, how do ya smoke it man?

Don't infer anything eh? I will admit that I did try that smoke stuff many years ago, but I never exhaled eh.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Gurney
Date: 26 Jul 08 - 08:04 PM

"Couldn't recognise his ass in a mirror"?

Hands up, those who could.

Not sure that I could recognise my donkey in a mirror.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jul 08 - 08:23 PM

If yer hung like a donkey, what use is a mirror?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 10:47 AM

Mary the Elephant was hung in Erwin, Tennessee 1916...they used a railroad crane. In 1903 the elephant Topsy was electrocuted at Coney Island; Tom Edison helped.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 02:24 PM

You gotta be kidding! Why would anyone hang or electrocute an elephant?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 05:02 PM

I dunno about Topsy, but Mary was hung because she'd killed someone and the owners were afraid she'd kill someone else. She'd stomped an assistant elephant keeper's head plumb flat after he'd caught an elephant hook in her ear. Normally she was a very gentle soul, I understand, and had been with the same circus for twenty years. It wasn't some sort of backwoodsy murder trial, but a decision to kill an animal. They didn't have rifles powerful enough to shoot her and the other option was to smash her between two locomotives.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 12:02 AM

Well, for heaven's sake, it should be possible to obtain such a rifle in a fairly short period of time. What sense of urgency would have caused them to hang the elephant with a crane? And how easy can it be to do that anyway? How do you persuade the elephant to cooperate as you attach the noose? Why not just send for a real elephant gun and wait till it arrives?

Sounds like someone was a good deal crazier than the elephant to me. Too bad Mary was not able to secure a good lawyer.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo needs a wife!
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 08:59 AM

There are photos on the Web. I didn't, for obvious reasons, post a link.

I quite agree, LH. But then it was long before I was born -- like the execution of the rats in France in 1531 or the Great Cat Massacre.