Tuning up jokes

Subject: RE: Tuning up jokes
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 01:06 PM

Back in 1958, at the New Lost City Rambler's first NY concert, we were peddling a tape (this was pre-cassette) OF "Tom Tunes in Hi-Fi"---45 minutes recorded from older Tom Paley Concerts.

And, IMO, the best tuning comment ever was from Robin Huw Bowen who, when asked how long it takes to tune a triple harp, responded "Nobody knows".

Subject: RE: Tuning up jokes
From: autoharpbob
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 03:02 PM

From a guitar - autoharp duet:
"I know this concert hall full of skeletons where the autoharp tried to tune to the guitar instead of the other way round!"

Subject: RE: Tuning up jokes
From: Artful Codger
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 06:57 PM

"Pardon me while I adjust this key down to my instrument."

"It's a new bridge; I'm still breaking it in."

"They normally give me a day's head start."

"Well, they told me it was an A string at the store. I hope I've kept the receipt."

"Sorry, I have banjo ear tonight."

"The next song will be 'The Lost Note.'"

"I borrowed this tune from Doc Watson, but the notes are still adjusting to the time zone."

Subject: RE: Tuning up jokes
From: Stewart
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 07:03 PM

"we tune to please you,
tell us if you don't care,
it would save us a lot of time."

Cheers, S. in Seattle

Subject: RE: Tuning up jokes
From: Bernard
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 07:30 PM

Let's take a vote...

Who thinks it's in tune?

Who thinks it's not in tune?

Who doesn't give a monkey's? (usually gets the most votes, especially if the musician(s) join(s) in!

Subject: RE: Tuning up jokes
From: framus
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 11:07 PM

Did anybody listen to the "Concert for Bangladesh".
After some applause, Ravi Shankar said "Thank you, if you enjoyed our tuning-up, I hope you will enjoy this tune".

Subject: RE: Tuning up jokes
From: LadyJean
Date: 31 Dec 10 - 12:36 AM

Some years ago, I gave my sister a Roy Rogers Guitar for Christmas. The thing is a toy and barely playable. But she opens concerts by tuning it and telling the story about Roy Rogers and the bobcat that ends with "Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes." Before playing a real guitar.

My church has Scottish Reformation Sunday, happily no longer with the Shriners' Bagpipe band. I filled out prayer requests for a number of years "Please pray that the Shriners learn to tune their bagpipes before next year."

Subject: RE: Tuning up jokes
From: Tootler
Date: 31 Dec 10 - 07:19 PM

Comment from the conductor of our choir:

"I noticed the piano went sharp during that song"

Subject: RE: Tuning up jokes
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 31 Dec 10 - 08:57 PM

My personal favorite:

"You know, they'd save everybody a lot of trouble if they'd tune these things up at the factory before they shipped 'em out."

Subject: RE: Tuning up jokes
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 05:39 PM

Two different concerts I've been at where they had bagpipes and other instruments: they'd obviously been and practised their separate bits perfectly - but separately - quite confident that it would be 'all right on the night", and oh yes, they'd checked what key it was being played in.
BUT they'd forgotten about transposing instruments - so there was a horrible clash when they all came in together, at just the right spot, but in 2 different keys!

Subject: RE: Tuning up jokes
From: Mark Ross
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 07:12 PM

Frandsen's Law of Instrument Tuning;

1. How correctly your instrument is tuned is inversely proportionate to the time spent tuning.

2. When having particular difficulty tuning a stringed instrument, find the string most out of tune and tune everything else to that.

3. When playing in large groups, everyone tune to the musician on their right.

From Erik Frandsen, aka Blind Erik Flatpick
.

Mark Ross

Subject: RE: Tuning up jokes
From: framus
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 07:36 PM

Never play in a group with an autoharp.
Davy.

Subject: RE: Tuning up jokes
From: GUEST,Sid F
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 09:31 PM

Never make a joke about tuning if you don't have to - it always sounds corny and most of the audience have heard them all before.

Subject: RE: Tuning up jokes
From: PHJim
Date: 02 Jan 11 - 02:32 AM

I'll tell the story about jazz guitarist Herb Ellis, probably not true, but the person who told me swore it was:

Before he joined Oscar Peterson, Herb Ellis played with Glenn Gray's Casa Loma Orchestra. One night after a show, Glen said to Herb," Why do you spend so much time tuning? You tune after nearly every number. I went tyo see Segovia play and he didn't have to tune more than twice all night."
"Well," said Herb, "Some cats just don't care."