BS: Chongo demands an apology!

Subject: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 05:59 PM

Chongo has asked me to issue an ultimatum to the entire forum on his behalf.

He demands a full and sincere apology from all those here who have insulted and demeaned him and other apes...and monkeys as well...by using specist language and perpetuating specist stereotypes (such as "poopflinging").

If Chongo does not get such an apology from at least 50 different Mudcatters by 9 AM tomorrow he will:

1. Leave!

2. Stay!

3. Keep you guessing as to whether it will be (1) or (2) above...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 06:59 PM

"... full and sincere..."

Ummm... he reads minds? Or do you interpret for him and tell him when his target has been reached?

Well, I for one, am VERY sorry he is such a pontificating, pompous primate....(that's pretty sincere...)

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 07:18 PM

He interprets for himself, Bill, just like anyone else. For example, do you read Obama's mind to determine his sincerity? No. You just interpret what he says and does for yourself.

If you think that wretched apology of yours is going to straighten you out with Chongo, think again, "Roscoe". ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: GUEST,999--Legal representative for Fay Wray's est
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 07:26 PM

In the matter of Wray vs Chongo, the latter party being of diminished mental capacity, no apology will be forthcoming. His unnecessarily rough handling of our client in the filming of King Kong is before the court at present, and should he persist in this public display of 'je ne sais quoi' he will be deprived of his bananas, forthwith.

Dudley Dunwithit, THC, LSD, STP

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 07:37 PM

You must be jokin'. I didn't star in that movie. I was not even on the set. You are makin' sport of King Kong, a sacred figure to all apes and monkeys. Yer name is gonna go down on the list, chump!

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 07:48 PM

Chongo demands an apology?

Okay, here you go:

Chongo, I'm terribly sorry that it's taken me this long to suggest that you wrap your big simian lips around the anus of a donkey and suck on it until the critter's head caves in.

There, feel all better now?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: GUEST,999--Legal representative for the City of NY
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 07:59 PM

Little need be said regarding the mess your twin brother--for whom you were the legal custodian at the time of his death caused by a fall from the Empire State Building to the intersection of Fifth Avenue and West 34 Street on or about February 3, 1933--left the citizens to cover the clean-up cost in the amount of $7,296.43, a sum which compounded annually for 79 years at a rate of 4.65% results in YOU owing US $264,551.24, so cut the crap and pay up!

Dunsworth Willy, STP, LSD, THC

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Bobert
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 08:02 PM

Well sniff...

I sho nuff would like to extend a heart apology to all chimps, apes and monkey's everywhere for being related to this sociopathic wacko... Not only that, he suffers from a major personality disorder, a severe case of poli-morphorse perverse guilt, terrible bathroom habits and couldn't hit the side of a barn with a real rifle so that why he carries an AK47... Not to mention he's a flat out loon...

There's my apology...

BTW, I pick #1...

Bye, you dumb monkey!!! Hope you enjoy yer new home at St. Elizabeth's Mental Hospital...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 08:37 PM

YOU demand nothing, you insignificant blob of ass's drool! "Specist language?" -- You lie in your throat! Were you here I would slap you face, tread on your toes, and box your ears in public! You are a bounder, a cad, and an insult to all primates! You'll get an apology when Hell needs air conditioning!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 08:42 PM

Hmmm. Well, there's gonna be hell to pay around here for a few days. I can see that. I think I better go get the earplugs or maybe just go on a short trip somewhere.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 08:44 PM

I stand ready to defend the truth of my statements about Chump-go.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 08:47 PM

Yo Chongo! When you're finished butt-fucking Mighty Joe Young and giving Kong a blowjob, sit on a fence post and rotate.........


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 08:51 PM

"...specist stereotypes (such as "poopflinging"). "

All I will say is that if he objects to stereotyping he needs to stop flingin' it.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: GUEST,999--Legal representative for the OED
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 09:19 PM

Being that the usual course of a common verb goes

sing, sang, sung

we do hereby enjoin Chongo Chimp hereafter called the party of the first part from saying

fling, flung, flung

which causes dictionary users hereafter called the party of the second part great difficulty when they expect to see

fling, flang, flung

and further, we hereafter called the party of the third part are embroiled in a dispute not of our making.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 09:29 PM

Isn't Chongo getting his residuals from Rise of the APes?
Wouldn't he prefer cash to apologies?

signed,
the real .999

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 09:29 PM

After due consideration, I must admit there is one way in which chimps could be said to be superior to humans. Chimps don't have butt cracks to collect underwear lint.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: GUEST,999--Legal representative for lint.
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 09:41 PM

We hereby bring an action for damages both real and imagined against Chongo Chimp and Charles Darwin for the existence and/or creation of Apes Without Butt Cracks in the amount of $1,000,000,000.

Gluteus Maximus, LSD, STP, THC

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: number 6
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 09:50 PM

I'll keep it plain and simple .... f#$k you Chongo !!

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 09:57 PM

I spit on Chongo's genes!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Bobert
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 09:58 PM

Sorry, LH, but yer gonna have to duct tape Chongz banana-hole and everything that he can use to get it off or you ain't gonna get no sleep tonight or...

...just give the sumabich a pint of Jim Beam...

Duct tape cheaper but, hey??? Your choice...

Old Tarzan movies ain't gonna work this time...

BTW, you might wanta find a friend to babysit the AK47 for a few days...

Good luck...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 10:03 PM

Yeah, yeah...keep it up, you specist human hacks, you sorry missin' links of evolution gone sour. I'm takin' notes and I'm takin' names. You bet I'm gettin' residuals from "Rise of the Apes". Who do ya think came up with the idea fer that movie? Huh? You think it's just a movie? Izzat whatchoo think?

- Chongo

p.s. Donuel said "Wouldn't he prefer cash to apologies?"

Well, as a matter of fact....

Yeah. I'm thinkin' at least 5 figures would be about enough to make me forget yer collective sins. 5 figures each. You can make it a tax deductible campaign contribution to the 2012 war chest of the APP.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 10:10 PM

five figures? Ok

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Bobert
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 10:11 PM

See, L.H... I think this is gonna be a two roll night - duct tape that is... Too bad you can't slip some Thorazine in one of his bananas... He's slippin' off to the dark side... I mean, further to the dark side... 5 figures??? See??? Delusional... Hide his gun...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 10:13 PM

Oh, wait... I AM sorry... five **relevant** figures

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 10:32 PM

That's pretty provocative, Bill. You know how Chongo feels about zoos. It'll be your fault if he ends up busting all the furniture.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 10:33 PM

Five figures? Okay, how about 0.0001? Or 3.1416? I know: 5(√-1).

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 10:44 PM

Chongo practicing.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Jan 12 - 11:47 PM

Chongo is also a child molester........Fuckin' pervert.......


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 02:12 AM

LH

Please tell Chongo to stop being so anal. We all poke fun at each other. It is what families do. If he don't like this tribe he can bloody well leave.

Give him this. At least it will cure the poop flinging problem.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 04:52 AM

Well, the hours left in Chongo's ultimatum are rapidly slipping away.

Will he leave?

Will he stay?

Will he refuse to tell us?

The suspense is almost too much to bear!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: number 6
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 07:43 AM

please leave ..... please leave..... oh god, I hope the damned monkey chooses to leave goddammit .... please leave .... Chongo get the f**k outta here!!

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 08:20 AM

Why don't you go and have a swing through the trees for an hour or so. You will feel much better and forget all of this nonsense about leaving.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 09:41 AM

You must leave now!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 09:57 AM

Virginia Tam, I beg you to reconsider the Ex-Lax idea. Yes, it would keep Chongo from flinging his poop by altering the poop's consistency so as to make it difficult to fling. However, that same change of consistency would make his poop exceptionally squirtable. After a few days practice, Chongo'd be be bending over, aiming his ass at people, and letting fly with a load of liquified apeshit.   Personally, I'd rather have poop flung at me. It's easier to dodge and much easier to wash off.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 10:18 AM

I don't think Chongo should leave. He should learn his place at the end of a chain and stay there, cutting cute capers for kids.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: GUEST,999--Legal Rep for Chongo and LH
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 10:41 AM

Cease and desist henceforth this unmitigated bile aimed at the simple soul and his simian friend. As witnessed in the picture posted by Rapparee, LH is scant seconds away from taking up banjo and Chongo therein presented as a child in military clothing appears to be wrapped a tad loosely.

Don T Fuquithit, LSD, THC, STP

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: David C. Carter
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 11:34 AM

LH is great on the banjo.

He loves "Hammering Off",and "Pulling Off",usually in front of a crowd of young ladies.
He "Frails" quite well,and doesn't even need the banjo!



Dun Plucking,LSD,VD and Scar

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 11:49 AM

Okay, ya saps, the deadline has passed and I ain't got nobody's apology. That's about what I expected. I been watchin' this forum for years and you know what I seen? Every now and then some pair of human bozos on here get all het up about somethin' the other one said and they start demandin' an apology! They might even both start demandin' an apology simultaneous-like.

But do they ever get one? Hell, NO! The average human bein' would rather be flayed alive, roasted over a slow fire, drawn and quartered, and forced to live in a trailer with George W. Bush than apologize to anyone!

I know this. So I had a little scheme in mind. I figgered that by demandin' an apology I could lure the worst specists on this friggin' forum into revealin' themselves here in all their specist ugliness for the whole world to see. And it worked! Yer not gonna wiggle outta this one. No sir. I got it all wrote down and in the records for posterity. No one is fooled no longer.

My only disappointment is this: Amos is the worst specist of all! The man is unconscionably specist, vile to the marrow, he hates apes and monkeys. But he's also clever. He was clever enough not to show himself on this thread. He ducked out and hid in the bushes, hidin' his gross prejudice from the world.

Oh, well...I'll catch him some other day. As for the rest of you not-so-clever specists here, thanks very much for rushin' to yer own public demise and revealin' WHO you really ARE. Yessiree.

And now...in answer to the burnin' question that I know is on all yer minds...I am....












(wait for it)















(you ready?)





























NOT LEAVIN'!!!!!!!!!   Ook! Ook!

Yup, you ARE gonna have Chongo Chimp around here for a long time yet. This is no Richard Nixon yer talkin' to here. Not me. I can take the heat, see? And I ain't leavin'.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 12:05 PM

Oh... I am SO surprised!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 12:10 PM

You will be even MORE surprised when a coupla Gorillas in Homeland Security uniforms show up at yer door after the next election is over...

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: GUEST,999
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 12:26 PM

Be even more surprised when the government is toppled and a coup takes place.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 12:29 PM

Yup. That would be surprisin', all right.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 12:42 PM

I'm sorry. I was drunk and didn't know what I was doing. Yer all swell folks and I won't be doin' any more drinkin', leastwise not at Kelly's Bar where Kelly waters the booze down.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 12:57 PM

Holy shit. An apology! Well, Chongo has just demonstrated his honesty, humility, and openhearted nature for all to see. What a swell ape he is. I'm glad that this troubling episode is wrapping up on a positive note.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 01:43 PM

I still think he's a poltroon, a cad, a bounder, a whimpering, goat-defiling, belligerent screwball who is, ultimately, an inbred racist specist sociopath who, because of his sublimated oedipal ambivalence sold his sister and mother into a life of degradation and shame.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 03:05 PM

What? Not also a scalliwag and dunderhead?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 03:18 PM

Rap: "...he's a poltroon, a cad, a bounder, a whimpering, goat-defiling, belligerent screwball who is, ultimately, an inbred racist specist sociopath who, because of his sublimated oedipal ambivalence sold his sister and mother into a life of degradation and shame.


Bill D:

What? Not also a scalliwag and dunderhead?

sheesh You say that as though it were a bad thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 03:55 PM

Some people are just too dumb to know when to quit. And you are one of those people, ain't you, Rap? Repeatin' the same tired old allegations and gross slander that Amos got paid to spread around to hurt my campaign.

I got a reasonable amount of patience, but it has its limits. Are you lookin' to take this discussion outside? Huh? If you are, just say so, buster.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 04:30 PM

LH, you really ought to get out more...and in any case, surely Chongo needs the exercise.

LOL.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 04:47 PM

Chongo gets out on his own, Pete. He drives. I would be out today, but I've got a cold and the weather is lousy out there. I plan to stay in for a bit. That means much time to fool around on Mudcat.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 04:52 PM

Yeah, my missus has gone out too and the TV is crap. Never mind, plenty of beer in the fridge!

And banana shakes...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 05:08 PM

I still think he's a poltroon, a cad, a bounder, a whimpering, goat-defiling, belligerent screwball who is, ultimately, an inbred racist specist sociopath who, because of his sublimated oedipal ambivalence sold his sister and mother into a life of degradation and shame.

Whimpering? Now you just gone over the top, Rap. That was too harsh.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 06:45 PM

Okay, not whimpering. How about sniveling?

Chongo, are you inviting me to settle this like gentlemen? Surely you don't qualify as such! I mean, you'd have to be at least somewhere close to my own rank in society, and while I might not be at the top neither do I emulate you and snuffle around like a hog rooting through sewers.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 06:50 PM

Chongo, demand in one hand and poop in the other and see which one gets full first.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Bob the Postman
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 07:13 PM

On behalf of all Canadians, we're sorry, eh? Next time yer hikin' by the cabin, stop in fer a cuppa tea. There's always a pot stewin' on the back of the wood stove. We woulda apologised sooner, only the blizzard messed up the highspeed.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 07:28 PM

I am so sorry, you dirty Ape

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 10:17 PM

Ya' know Hawk.....The dumbass, shit flingin' ape seems totally unstable and with those emotional swings he might be ready to go off a roof emulating Kong.   I'd let him .... that'd be my advice. I learned that from my buddy Reverend Al Sharpton. He says you never should let a suicide become a homocide...............


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 10:18 PM

Hmmm. You think? Well, I'll have to keep a close eye on him, I guess.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Sandy Mc Lean
Date: 19 Jan 12 - 11:22 PM

Chongo was never a flinger except for some political BS. His diet of bananna has always created a stool too soft to be properly flung with accuracy and most often results in more damage to the flinger than to the intended target. As an intelligent ape Chongo has a deep understanding of ballistics and knows that a well directed urine stream is far more accurate. From a high perch he can be deadly!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jan 12 - 10:49 AM

Chongo, the Mylar Monkey, is an invented inflatable without substance or standing.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jan 12 - 10:52 AM

So he's kinda like those inflatable dolls I understand you can buy at certain "adult novelty" stores?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jan 12 - 12:08 PM

Precisely, mon copain. A FleshLight of the mind, created for purposes of mental self-satisfaction, a mockery of nature, a denial of humanity, a sinful bauble on the desolate plains of self-involvement.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 20 Jan 12 - 12:08 PM

I pity the poor saps who have to resort to an inflatable doll to satisfy their basic urges. I'm bettin' that Amos has a whole closet full of 'em, along with a bicycle pump for inflatin' 'em, and a box of bandaids for them sudden catastrophic failures that occur now and then in the heat of the action. Matter of fact, I heard that he busted one of his favorite "tools" one day when puttin' one of them dolls to use. He was on top and a blowout occurred with nothing but a hard oak floor below! Nasty business. They say his shriek of agony was heard as far away as Big Sur.

Anyway, them inflatable dolls are totally passe' now. Only complete losers would even think of ownin' one. The state of the art now is the Real Doll .

(WARNING!: Don't open the above link if you are offended by weird sex toys and stuff like that!!!)

At any rate, the Real Dolls have left the inflatables in the dust, but they are still a sorry imitation of a real woman if ya ask me. Only a serious loser who is afraid of havin' a real relationship would consider buyin' one. Talkin' about serious losers...that brings to mind Howard Stern. He gives a testimonial on the Real Doll site about how great the Real Doll is, havin' spent some "quality time" with one. What an idiot that man is. I can hardly believe he gets paid better than I do. It's another gross example of specism in our society.

- Chongo


- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Jan 12 - 01:42 PM

LOL...oh,my!

Standard RealDoll 2 Female
(includes all 3 entries)
Price: $5,999.00

(oh, suure..male also... and everything in between)

reminds me of an old limerick:

"There was a young fellow name Green,
Who invented a F*****G machine.
   Concave or convex,
   It would fit either sex,
And remarkably easy to clean." (yes...there are variations in the lines.)

...umm they will do 'special orders'

freckles, for $150... other modifications for $45 to $599

For $6000+ one could 'acquire' something real.... but *sigh*... I suppose for those who don't want to feed 'em and wait in line for the bathroom and argue over the TV remote....



but...Chongo... you know about this how? You are seeking a human primate partner?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jan 12 - 02:31 PM

He's always had a thing for human females, Bill. At first he was a bit uncomfortable with their relative hairlessness, but he got over that pretty quickly. What really impresses him is the loooong legs!

*****

Since the Real Dolls are pretty darned expensive, as you noted, I suspect they are a hobby of the rich, who probably get into collecting them. Just think...could one Real Doll really be enough? I bet it's just like anything else. You buy Blonde Model #15 "Jacquie"...a few months go by...you start thinking about Brunette Model #11 "Carrie" or Asian Model # 22 "Sachiko". Hell, it's only another $6,000 and change, right? By the time you've bought the 2nd one, you're well and truly hooked! Soon there is a Real Doll sitting in every armchair, reclining on every bed, and stuffed in every closet. You start having parties with several Real Dolls at once, dining by candlelight, and hanging out with them at the swimming pool. You watch TV with them and ask their advice about your investments. When you finally die, your distant relatives are astounded to find 52 different varieties of Real Doll scattered around your mansion in various states of dress and undress...some are shaved "down there"...some are not...some even have freckles!

I just bet this has happened. After all, it's pretty much what Hugh Hefner devoted his life to, isn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: gnu
Date: 20 Jan 12 - 03:22 PM

Ahhhh... dolls? $6000 DOLLS? Oh, now, that is just... just... just... eeewwwww! A ewe would cost far less. And keep the grass trimmed. Two trimmings for the price of one. Plus, ya could take up knitting. Far better investment.

I didn't click on the link. I have opposable thumbs.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jan 12 - 04:43 PM

Trust old Chongo to know where the latest in false love products can be found. Keep up the good work, you half-baked imsginary make-believe!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jan 12 - 10:18 PM

I'm gonna buy a Real Doll that I can call my own
A doll that other fellows would not steal
And then the flirty, flirty guys with their flirty, flirty eyes
Will have to flirt with dollies that aren't Real

When I come home at night she will be waiting
She'll be the truest doll in all this world
I'd rather have a Real Doll to call my own
Than have a fickle-minded real live girl

I guess I had a million dolls or more
I guess I've played the doll game o'er and o'er
I just quarreled with Sue, that's why I'm blue
She's gone away and left me just like all dolls do

I'll tell you boys, it's tough to be alone
And it's tough to love a doll that's not your own
I'm through with all of them
I'll never ball again
Say boy, whatcha gonna do?

I'm gonna buy a Real Doll that I can call my own
A doll that other fellows wouldn't steal
And then the flirty, flirty guys with their flirty, flirty eyes
Will have to flirt with dollies that aren't Real

When I come home at night she will be waiting
She'll be the truest doll in all this world
I'd rather have a Real Doll to call my own
Than have a fickle-minded real live girl

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jan 12 - 12:28 AM

When the Real Doll starts talking back, you know you've gone over the edge...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jan 12 - 01:22 AM

Six thousand bucks? Shit, just go down to the dollar store where they have all sorts of inflatable Christmas decorations marked down real cheap. Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus, Frosty the Snowman. Take your pick.

Yeah, they may not be as sexy looking as the $6K models, but fucking a piece of plastic is fucking a piece of plastic, doesn't matter whether it looks like Angelena Jolie or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jan 12 - 05:49 AM

Are you speaking from experience?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jan 12 - 05:59 AM

And if what you say is true, then why is it that people generally seem to prefer having sex with a real person who looks like Angelina Jolie than with a real person who looks like Golda Meir or Grandma Moses?

Obviously, outer appearances do count with most people. A large part of sex is fantasy, based on outer appearance. This is why I think your Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer idea just won't fly! ;-D I offer as evidence the fact that Howard Stern has not yet fucked any inflatable Rudolfs or Frosty(s) the Snowman.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 12 - 09:35 AM

Well, LH, one reason is that both Grandma Moses and Golda Meier are dead. For some time, in fact.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jan 12 - 02:40 PM

Dolls? Necro? Next, Chongo will be fuckin a chimp. No apology for that.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 12 - 03:55 PM

Naw, even Chongo would never stoop that low. Chimps are the lowest of the lowest of the lowest of the low, somewhere between E. Coli and amoebas in intelligence and an abandoned cesspool and Shame McBride in hygiene.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jan 12 - 06:11 PM

You really are determined to get yourself into hot water, aren't you Rap? Doesn't it worry you just a wee bit what might happen after we get a REAL chimp in the White House? You've already seen what a quasi-chimp like Bush can do. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 12 - 09:40 PM

I get in hot water every morning when I shower. Cold showers are for monks...and chimps.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 04 Feb 12 - 10:33 PM

I've changed my mind. Who needs yer stinkin' apology? Huh? Not me, that's fer sure! Ask me if I even care. Go ahead. Ask me. The fact is, I don't care. Not even a little. You can all go stick yer heads down the toilet, pull the handle, and chunder as far as I'm concerned.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 12 - 10:14 AM

I understand that bush meat can be pretty tasty. Would it be okay to eat Chongo if he happened to die? Or do we toss him to the other chimps at the Brookfield Zoo and let them eat him?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 05 Feb 12 - 11:41 AM

Put a bit of lead behind his ear?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 05 Feb 12 - 01:39 PM

I will apologize for anything I will ... just as soon as I load up my 338 Laupa with Nite vision Scope. I will over shortly to apologize

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 12 - 03:16 PM

Can I bring my .357 with hollow points and my .45 Long Colt rifle with its 255 grain LFPs?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 05 Feb 12 - 09:39 PM

You suckers just don't know when to give up, do ya? Lemme quote that dumbstruck ex-president George Bush to ya when I say this...

Bring it on.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 12 - 09:44 PM

Hey, olddude! My brother in Illinois has bot a Ma Deuce and can get a Vulcan. What say we pulverize Chongo and everything around him?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 05 Feb 12 - 09:57 PM

This oughta be good. It's been a dull month so far, so I could use a little action. When should I be expectin' you guys?

Don't cut in on my bar time. 8pm to 1am. I will get really mad if you do, and you don't want that to happen.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 05 Feb 12 - 10:47 PM

bring along the ma duece, I got a bunch of 50 cal to load up in it. In the meantime I will mix up some C4 alternative action items

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo demands an apology!
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 12 - 12:03 AM

Fougasse!!!!!!!!!