BS: Militant atheism has become a religion

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,gillymor
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 12:42 PM

Too late, I've already excommunicated myself. Assuming it's possible to be excommunicated from a cult.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket sans fun
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 12:31 PM

Religion isn't supposed to be fun!

It is about being sanctimonious and believing in fairies at the bottom of the garden.

Most of all, it is meant to be boring.



Ok you are blackballed. No appeal, just no jam tomorrow for you.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,gillymor
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 12:18 PM

This is starting to sound as boring as a legitimate religion. Deal me out.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket sans body of Clapton
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 11:34 AM

Yes but our wafers are those sold in National Trust tea rooms in tartan biscuit tins. Only the best for our acolytes.

Our atheism is the only true atheism and we reserve the right to lobby for blasphemy laws to protect our interests. Controlling people for our own weird ends needs legal protection.   Equality isn't enough. We want privilege same as those Christian buggers.

Blasphemy won't be a victimless crime much longer, not once we get to be government's moral compass. Can't wait to be able to tell shops when they can open and demand that our employees are revered by people on account of the shape of their collar.   Amazing what fun you can get away with when society puts you on a pedestal.   70s celebrities and priests have had the monopoly for too long.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,gillymor
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 11:17 AM

That was me. I'll also petition for pretzels with the Sunday beer in lieu of those bland little wafers.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 11:12 AM

That all sounds very tiring, DtG. All I want is a cosy little rectory and a few comely nuns decked out in nasty habits for my allegiance to the faith, or whatever the hell it is.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 10:54 AM

Gillymor, how about we break from Militant or Orthodox atheism, lop the heads off a few queens, bugger up some monasteries and start our own? It could be Protestant Atheism but I would have to run in by Deity A, Deity B and the token woman, when she has ascended. Are you a woman with time on her hands by any chance???

bollocks!!

DtG,C,LBandSPS

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,gillymor
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 10:50 AM

O forgive me ,Musket, for I had not read your post.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 10:48 AM

Credible? CREDIBLE?? Moi? I have been called some things in my life but never that. I'll have to go for lie down.

bollocks!!

DtG,C,LBandSPS

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,gillymor
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 10:44 AM

Hate to burst the bubble of you Joseph Smith wannabes but there's already a religion called "atheism". It's supposed to be pretty militant so I imagine they'll defend their copyright aggressively. Hell, there's even a thread dedicated to it in this very forum, somewhere.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket sans Jack's parrot
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 10:19 AM

Welcome to the fold Dave. We have bingo Wednesday nights, turning wine into water most nights, once we get the gents plumbed in, and as The Sex Discrimination Act 1975 doesn't apply to delusionary sects with charitable status, we can offer you an archdeacon position whilst offering women fulfilling roles such as serving the teas and checking bingo cards back to the caller.

The proper salutation is " I think therefore I am." Once you are admitted to the third degree it becomes "I don't think therefore I'm spam." The suckers have to let us do their thinking for them. Don't ever let it be said that our delusion is no better than any other sect's attempt to control people.

We are in negotiation with Jack the Sailor to be our chaplain of the bleedin' obvious, although he had first refusal on our offer to be our first martyr. It seems to be traditional for your martyrs to be sailors, according to Leonard Cohen anyroad up, and being a Red Sea pedestrian, he should know....

Sailor Jack is our prophet too by the way. He started a thread saying atheism has become a religion, and bugger me with a bent banana, so it has! All hail the salty sea dog in exile!

Steve Shaw does the serious stuff whilst I concentrate on taking the piss. We need someone with credibility and as Joe Offer didn't return our call, you'll do Dave.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 10:14 AM

That was sort of what I was getting at and you have inspired me, Jack!

From now on I will use the correct declaration of affirmation for the new religion...

bollocks!!

DtG

Cossack, Lightening Baller and self proclaimed scribe

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 09:21 AM

"Can't think of anything else relevant that ends in 'ocks'."

bollocks!!

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 08:35 AM

Yep, I'm not known as lightening balls for nothing but someone has posted on the unarmed soldier thread. Can one of you deities intervene?

How about Cossacks in Cassocks leaving the Tussocks to kneel on Hassocks? Can't think of anything else relevant that ends in 'ocks'. Can you?

I keep saying cheers but what is the proper salutation in Atheism?

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 07:33 AM

Cossacks in cassocks sounds like the kind of novelty we need. Extra large and extra short, eh? You sound like the ideal candidate for a high position in my new ball-lightning faith. In the right shape for it, as it were...

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 07:28 AM

Is a Cassock one of them Russian blokes who charges round on a horse, chopping the heads off unbelievers? I quite fancy being one of them. If it is I am extra-large and extra-short so I would need a little horse that can carry a lot. Any pit-ponies left?

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 07:03 AM

Turning wine into water is a miracle with only very restricted application, required for example when you see that breathalyser coming towards your mouth... However, you sound like a useful chap nonetheless. What's your cassock size?

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 06:46 AM

Whoops - ...have on good authority...

Divine intervention made me miss that so more posts would be created!

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 06:44 AM

And you are now less than 30 posts behind the unarmed soldier. Which I have on believe is slipping down. At least I hope so...

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 06:42 AM

I can turn wine into water. Well, sort of water. Will that do? And, hey! How come I have not found this thread before? I would have thought one of the per-requisites of any religion was to inspire non-believers with flashes of truth on the road to Domestos? How come I wasn't cruising the virtual byways and was inspired by divine intervention to open this...

Oh, hang on, I thought there was something bugging me since I fell over on the road back from the Kings Arms last Friday. I reckon this was it! WooHoo! I believe! I believe! Now then, how much money should I send, what unnatural acts shall I perform and where do I find a missionary position?

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 06:32 AM

YOU can't comprehend Pete's position, so you choose what to believe about him.

He's a man who skims over certain aspects of science (or skims over what other people have skimmed over before him) in an aggressive search for things that he sees as threatening to his beliefs so that he can be negative about them. His mission is to discredit any science that threatens his delusion. I'm all for people having delusions if they want. I have some myself (shut up about Liverpool, Musket). That's one thing. It's another thing entirely to make it your mission to destroy the honest and hard-won findings of scientists. That is not meek and mild stuff. It is dishonest and it is malevolent and it's why almost half the US population is in medieval ignorance about evolution and thr age of the Earth. You have let pete's "charming" online persona hoodwink you. You may think you're engaging him, but I have yet to see one single post from him that honestly engages with any real evidence. He's having you on, big-time.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 06:17 AM

"Atheism"? Well blow me down, why hadn't I thought of that!

By the way, if we can only find someone who can turn water into wine, just think...

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket sans martyrdom
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 03:08 AM

Yeah but no but. . If we persuade enough gullible suckers we can afford fillet!

Well, if I have to form a reformed church based on cut of beast, then it may be ordained I have to.

Oh, by the way Steve. I have though of a name, something nobody has described on these forums yet seem comfortable with using, often to mean not sharing their particular delusion.   It is, in the tradition if most religions, borrowing from existing dogma terms of reference and converts by assimilation rather than force.

I thought we'd call it atheism.   It isn't a used word except as a term of contempt by shallow people, and we can do the same trick as Church of England and claim to own a large part of the population despite miniscule numbers of active members.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Bill D
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 09:48 PM

You Steve are projecting what you WISH to believe. YOU can't comprehend Pete's position, so you choose what to believe about him. I said months ago that you 'could' drop by 7 stars pub and say hello to Pete...it's 2000 miles for me. You made sarcastic remarks about not wasting your time.

"Your affair, of course,"

Why yes... it is. I'd think anyone as smart as you would have realized this months ago.

I am now OUT of this thread. I 'may' start another. If I do, I hope "Your affair, of course," will be your guiding principle.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 09:10 PM

I definitely hit send just the once, you stupid forum you.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 09:09 PM

Well, Bill, I've observed your painstaking yet time-wasting efforts on pete. You are misguided if you think he's honest. His demeaning of all science in the cause of his personal delusion is the most closed-minded and dishonest stuff I've seen in years. He's taking the piss out of you, Bill. Stringing you along. Your affair, of course, but it ain't sweet to see.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 09:09 PM

Well, Bill, I've observed your painstaking yet time-wasting efforts on pete. You are misguided if you think he's honest. His demeaning of all science in the cause of his personal delusion is the most closed-minded and dishonest stuff I've seen in years. He's taking the piss out of you, Bill. Stringing you along. Your affair, of course, but it ain't sweet to see.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Bill D
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 08:55 PM

Musket.. and the usual other suspect. Pete & I have serious differences...I have been discussing/debating with him for maybe 2 years. It is, of course, unlikely that either of us is going to get major agreement from the other... and IF Pete had a login, I would carry on most of this by PMs. Because I think it's important to get my views clarified..whether anyone agrees with me or not... I try to set out MY side of things (which are in most ways identical to Steve's) so that Pete and others from the religious side at least 'get' my points. I have been assured by 2 different people who know him personally that Pete is a good, honest, serious person. If I did not think this was true, I would not bother.

I have made the point several times that nasty insults and ridicule never seems to help ANY discussion, but that continues. At a face-to-face public gathering, two people could just walk away and find a private spot...but in here it seems like some feel free to interject any level of sarcasm and insults.

IF Pete & do continue a discussion on another thread, I hope comments can be limited to facts and logic. You may continue your "new religion" here, though I doubt it will be half as much fun if few are reading....

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 06:38 PM

I don't burn steaks. I buy my fillets 36 day old from a local farm shop and quickly seal the outer. The inside is essentially blue.

Fillets?? Only well-hung sirloins pass muster in this new faith (There's something about "well-hung" that chimes with me - can't quite put my finger on it - no, dammit, not even both hands are man enough! ;-) )Mine are created from nothing and seared to medium-rare perfection both sides with quick blasts of ball lightning.

Steve & Musket's fantasies of founding their own faith with themselves as Messiahs & stuff was faintly amusing at first, but IMO is becoming a bit laboured & wearisome and flogged-to-death.

We are founding certainty, The, not faith, and we are unselfish enough to concede that two Messiahs are insufficient. We need a trinity setup with a token woman (still misogynistic but a hell of a step-up from our lesser rival religions). As for flogged-to-death, you heretic, just be careful what you wish for. You could well be ending up on the wrong side of the new catechism here...

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket sans martyrdom
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 05:05 PM

Start your own thread pete. Its easy. I can do it and for that matter have just started a religion so starting a thread must be easy.

By the way, what do you charge as a technical advisor? Your skills may be needed if our religion is to attract the right suckers, er.. I mean believers.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 04:51 PM

ok bill.if you do reply on another thread,we can only hope that the usual badmouthers dont try to hi-jack civil discussion there.
pete on lousy laptop that wont settle at the right place!

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket sans salon stuff
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 11:09 AM

Started reading the link Seaman Stains just posted.

Just wondering what the output of someone who was anti religions has to do with atheism, militant or custard coloured? That Curtis White seems to have a fixation with dismissing controversy. There again, he does admit to being capable of rational thought.

Hitchens. He is dead mind, so won't be able to diss our true religion. Yeah, Dawkins is blackballed too. And that ex Bishop of Durham who said intelligent people don't actually believe in virgin births or rising from the dead.

Oh, and anybody capable of seeing through the aims of religious leaders, they can't join us either. If other religions can attract the gullible, vulnerable and desperate, so can we. And we can offer them free beer on a Sunday. (May have to check that one out with Archbishop Shaw, but no matter. We don't have to deliver on promises.)

I was pm'd and asked why we haven't got a God yet. Why would we? No bugger else has, so why should we be the first?

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket sans sarcasm
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 08:51 AM

No real answer to that. Just to be sure, I checked and yes, my use of language is not incorrect. Though Jerk's random typing would also fit, by coincidence.

How about impotent?

Thinking on, that's accurate too where man made concepts are concerned... Their power is 100% human......

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 08:48 AM

Militant Atheism exposed.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 08:34 AM

" Of course, if you are omnipotent, you already know that."

Omniscient.... Unless you are planning to have your own dictionary.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket sans the finished article
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 07:40 AM

Have two if you like, but beer is the choice of the brethren. Tia Maria will be served in the women's section around the back.

If you are pitching for the post of deity, could I ask you use our HR partners via their website? They can accept uploaded cv content in Word format. Of course, if you are omnipotent, you already know that.

I don't burn steaks. I buy my fillets 36 day old from a local farm shop and quickly seal the outer. The inside is essentially blue. We don't sue because that would mean yielding to court judgements and as a religion, we only observe courts and law when it pleases us, we otherwise say we answer to a higher authority.

The more I think about it, the more I wish I had started a religion earlier. I might franchise it to a bloke in Dumbfuckistan with perfect teeth and shares in Fox News. They know how to milk it better than I do.

Any Hollywood "actors" out there wanting a cause we can all laugh at? Get in now before the rush!

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 03:03 AM

Well, I am bored; and that's what matters. Because I am the deity, old man. geddit?

So sue me. Or crucify me. Or burn me to a steak...

Pax vobiscuits...

'Ave a Tia Maria.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket sans body
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 02:12 AM

I'd be careful Michael. We haven't decided what to do with heretics yet, but whatever we decide, it will have government wringing its hands and putting culture before safety of the blasphemer.

It isn't tedious just yet. It needs followers and political influence before we reach that stage, surely?

No. Jack is right. Pushing Christianity in order to bully non believers on these threads is wrong. Or at least, that's the logic of what the dozy bugger just said. You don't need satire with him, just read what he puts. ....

Yeah. On my hols but what with a dog to walk and a religion to co form, no rest for the wicked. Ice cream on the pier followed by writing about events that never happened a couple of hundred years after the non events for me.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 12:05 AM

Probably hardly worth saying, Jack: but you are there, with the word 'religion', "paltering with us in a double sense", as Macbeth said of the witches' apparitions' prophecies, which makes you, like them, a "juggling fiend".

Seriously; you must see you are there using 'religion' simultaneously in both its literal & its common figurative sense: as in the David Lodge novel about the nuns who decided as an experiment to give up the habit while teaching, and the hairdresser telling one of them that she must not forget to put her hair in curlers every night: "You must do it religiously," she said, quite unaware of the irony.

You can't get away with that, you know. But at least it might bring the thread back on track. Steve & Musket's fantasies of founding their own faith with themselves as Messiahs & stuff was faintly amusing at first, but IMO is becoming a bit laboured & wearisome and flogged-to-death.

How about giving it a rest, guys?

~M~

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 11:43 PM

The quixotic quest to bully away our religion is your only religion.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 07:57 PM

Pete--I've been away 3 days. Will reply later. Perhaps in another thread where we can be serious and not lost in the birth throes of a new religion....you don't need a new one and I can barely keep up with the swirlings of the old ones.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 07:28 PM

Yeah, hymns. Gotta keep modern on this, though. None of that Wesley bilge (though an adapted version of How Great Thou Art, applied to me, Musket and the as yet unspecified woman, would clearly be apropos, I humbly suggest). I'm thinking lusty rather than namby-pamby. And let's not be woolly on the hymn front. We need stuff specific to our as-yet-to-be-specified feast days, à la carols and hymns to the virgin sort of thing (and that was just an example, by the way: virginity for us would be a matter to be urgently dealt with...)

And Musket, I'm very impressed with your God-like ability to be in two places at once, on holiday and still posting here. You're definitely giving off the impression that you're all-seeing. Give us a glimpse into Wacko's underpant drawer whilst you're still in East Anglia and you'll have the gullible "believing in you" in droves. And don't let's allow the momentum to flag here. Whilst you're away I'd like you to germinate an idea or two on a possible heresy law as well as a quasi-fatwa notion. Don't let the sand get into your butties.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket sans infection control
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 02:11 PM

No probs. we only use galvanised nails. Also, our centurions use a strict bare below the elbows policy.

Assuming B&Q are open. Then we buy them in a pub from Fat Bob.

Best not to join us on a Sunday eh?

The hyms are rocking man! I can already feel a rumble. Might be Charles Wesley spinning in his grave though....

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,gillymor
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 01:01 PM

I might be willing to join the flock depending on the quality of the hymns you come up with but I'm a poor canidate for crucifixion as I haven't had a tetanus booster in 6 years.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket sans martyrdom
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 12:15 PM

We could always use Wembley. Twenty years since I was last there but the true path is always lit and all that tosh. Your lot used to venture there occasionally too for that matter.

I don't know about willing martyrs though, because faith requires a degree of hypocrisy and Mudcat brethren are far better at preaching it than actually living the dream. Some of the armchair socialists are as bad.

That said, we could always drug a few and use them as sacrifices. I know it is illegal but religions don't have to obey the same laws or sense of propriety as normal people, so if it is what our god says, we can ignore UK law, same as with equality, child abuse and tax affairs.

Miracles. Get back to you on that one. Although since becoming religious, I can get a morning glory without assistance? You see, we priests can get all personal in public. Its what we do....

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 07:01 AM

Hillsborough? Land of Empty Promises? Now there's a novel twist I think I could live with....

Musket, I've just had a thought. We need martyrs. People really loyal to the cause that everybody gets at all the time. That stuff's headline-grabbing in a way that ball lightning clearly isn't. Obviously, you and I would, in other circumstances, be good candidates, but we can hardly envisage wiping out the leadership (though they managed it with Jesus...hmm...) We need compliant thickies, fast...

And miracles fer chrissake. We need miracles. Are there people on this board we could raise from the brain-dead? We urgently need to brainstorm that one when you get back from your hols. Find stuff we can jump in the pool and swim with. While you're away, see if you can locate a potential shrine of some kind...



And not bloody Hillsborough...

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket sans gatekeeper
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 02:52 AM

It goes without saying that you are blackballed too.

For the 1000th post I am declaring a religious public holiday this Thursday. This side of the pond, its how we do things and over in the ex colonies, I work on the principle you don't get enough of 'em.

Not that I am being populist you understand. The true path demands blind faith rather than scrutiny.

Steve, I tried going to B&Q to get some nails and timber on Sunday afternoon. They had just shut, something to do with those heretic bloody Christians. I smell a conspiracy here.

Where is the promised land we need to lead our people to? Hillsborough obviously. .....

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Ron Davies
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 12:46 AM

C'mon, you atheists:   surely you have more time to waste than this;    we can't let the unarmed soldier thread pass us.   Oh, the shame of it. Where's your patriotism?

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 07:27 PM

Instruction on the only acceptable methods of ritual slaughter of ordinary vegetables will shortly be forthcoming (yes, British Israelites, I will accept your advice). As an interim measure, I'm producing millions of car stickers depicting the suitably phallic outline of a butternut squash, disposed at a jauntily priapic angle, which I predict will have a far greater impact than that inexplicably stupid fish job that certain Christians deploy.

Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 07:11 PM

We always thought of two as religionists considering your egos, setting yourselves us as deities seems not out of character.


?????


Have we been having drinkie-winkies before hitting the keyboard, perchance?