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BS: Attack coming on August 27!!!
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Subject: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,Paul Revere Date: 06 Aug 03 - 03:44 PM They have been preparing for 60,000 years, and on August 27, when Mars is at its closest to Earth, the Martians are going to ATTACK!! You don't think so, do you? You've heard all of the stuff from the government and from the so-called scientists and astronomers that there isn't any life on Mars. But recent discoveries underscore the danger that our earthly way of life is facing unprepared. And if you continue to doubt the dnager, here is a picture of Martian soldiers training for the coming war with earth. The last picture was taken in July by the Hubble Space Telescope, and was released by the Government asa picture of WW1 soldiers so that the public wouldn't panic. The only thing to do is to first, alert your governmetn officials of this danger. But they will not believe you, so you will have to defend yourself against the craic-crazed Martian assault troops. On Augsut 27, between the hours of 11 p.m. local time and 2 a.m. local time, arm yourself and prepared to replel the attackers. Get ready for this now. Get guns and ammo from someplace, even if you have to beat up a cop (they won't defend you!). I recommend the 30 mm "gun" from a US Air Force's A-10 airplane, if you can get one in time. For the three hours noted, fire whatever gun you have at Mars. Since the landings will be in remote areas, do this in the remotest area you can find. This will show them that we mean business, and those which aren't scared off will be shot. But again, don't do this near any building because the initial assault will only come in remote, uninhabited areas. It's time we all forgot politics and fought to save Earth!!!!!!!!! 60,000 years ago Mars attcked before, and the Neandertahls are all extinct. Don't let it happen again! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Mark Clark Date: 06 Aug 03 - 03:50 PM Oh sure, August 27 is easy enough… but what time? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Clinton Hammond Date: 06 Aug 03 - 04:14 PM We should be so lucky... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Aug 03 - 04:47 PM Whaddya mean "we", Clinton? I have already determined that the Martians are: (1) unstoppable (2) gorgeously suave and (3) more socially responsible anyway than most Earthlings, having endured 48,000 years of drought and declining ecology due to planetary changes beyond their control. Accordingly, I have leaked advance information to them about your whereabouts and you can depend on being one of the first undesirable Earthlings to be wiped out with extreme prejudice by their elite shock troops, whilst collaborators such as myself will join with the Martian liberation forces and bring relief to a suffering planet! Martians know what ecological destruction means, and they will not squander the natural beauty of Earth as our industrialists have. Plus, their women are very good looking too, which is a fringe benefit. You don't believe me? Contact William Shatner. He knows all about it, and he is going to receive the governorship of the entire North American region under the new administration which will be set up in cooperation with the Martian liberation forces. Under our administration all cynics will die!!! Especially those who consider their own termination (and that of others) to be a "lucky" turn of affairs. Ha! Your goose is cooked this time, Clinton. It'll be a fine New World, but you won't be there to see it, laddie. :-) - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: artbrooks Date: 06 Aug 03 - 04:53 PM All I can say is "Klatu...Kalinga...Nichto" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Penny S. Date: 06 Aug 03 - 05:04 PM I think you must have the date wrong. If they plan to arrive on the date of the closest approach of Mars, they will have taken a longer time to get here than is sensible. What you need to to do is find the speed of their craft, and then arrange for them to cross the midpoint of their journey on that date, and then work out the time of the journey and where the Earth would be ... Oh bother, I think this involves calculus and no-one will tell me how to do it. Some sort of iterative process best done by computer or people with too much time on their hands. But they won't be here on the 27th! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Peter T. Date: 06 Aug 03 - 05:04 PM No, no, no, no, no. "Klatu barada nichto"!!!! "Klatu kalinga nichto" means (roughly) "Your mother was a sardine can, you pathetic one eyed robot." If Deja Thoris is one of the advance Martians, there is a deja I want to vu again for the first time. Bring her on!!! yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Don Firth Date: 06 Aug 03 - 05:11 PM ". . . it's a cook book!!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: NicoleC Date: 06 Aug 03 - 05:31 PM No sweat. I'll be moving that day and they won't know where to find me. ;) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,BOUDICCA - Queen of the Iceni Date: 06 Aug 03 - 05:57 PM Britons, have no fear ! I have been in training in exile these many long years and have returned to defend you from this onslaught ! (This time I will get it absolutely right, I promise you. I will not be beaten.) Trust me ! We will be victorious against these Martian hordes ! As Dio Cassius said of me last time round: "She was huge of frame, terrifying of aspect, and with a harsh voice. A great mass of bright red hair fell to her knees...Now, she grasped her spear, to strike fear into all who watched her." The years have looked kindly on me. I am even more huge and terrifying now and, though hard to contemplate that it is possible, kind friends tell me that my voice has become still harsher. Little Hawk, you say their men are "gorgeously suave"...I must confess, this gave me pause for thought that I might join you as a collaborator... But no ! I have met their sort before. I will stand by my people ! Fellow Britons ! Rally round ! We meet at dawn on Wednesday next at the lay-by just before the turn-off to Colchester on the A12. BOUDICCA |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: artbrooks Date: 06 Aug 03 - 05:59 PM Is Boudicca really Liz the Squeak? The description sounds...never mind... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,BOUDICCA - Queen of the Iceni Date: 06 Aug 03 - 06:29 PM Artbrooks: I, Boudicca, whose second chance for victory has come at last, have indeed been masquerading in this place under an assumed name as a member of the Mudcatti tribe, but this lady's name is not the one I have been using. I believe she does live somewhere close to my old lands, and hope she might be amongst those warriors with fearsome battle cry who will come to rally with me, but no, I am not she and have not been using her name ! Mr. Brooks, you live far from my lands, but there is time for you to join me and my warrior band before the Martian hordes advance. Might I count on your support ? BOUDICCA |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Gareth Date: 06 Aug 03 - 06:31 PM Ahhh ! Time to get the Long Bow out of the thatch " 'Tis the tramp of Martian Foemen...." Gareth |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: artbrooks Date: 06 Aug 03 - 06:45 PM Ooorah!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Sorcha Date: 06 Aug 03 - 06:46 PM Now I KNOW we're all mad as hatter...........LOL! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,Ygronthu Varsni Date: 06 Aug 03 - 06:51 PM We wish to meet your leader to discuss your surrender terms, but we cannot see Hul9 on our Earth maps. Where is he to be found? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: PageOfCups Date: 06 Aug 03 - 06:55 PM No, no, no! Haven't you been reading the thread "Poll: harmless idiot or serious threat"? It's August 31st, not the 27th. The Martians are merely being used as a tool of God to smite the US. ;-P PoC |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,GOD Date: 06 Aug 03 - 08:09 PM IT HAS NOTHING WHATSOEVER TO DO WITH ME. YOU STILL HAVE TO DEVELOP YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR - I MEAN. COME ON, FOSILS, MARTIANS, HUMANS? ... DON'T YOU GET IT (SIGH OF COSMIC PROPORTIONS) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: NicoleC Date: 06 Aug 03 - 08:22 PM No, makes perfect sense, PoC. The Martians will leave Mars when the distance is the least on the 27th, and arrive in time to be part of God's smiting festivities on the 31st. Thereby, God really smites two planets with one blow. Who said She isn't efficient? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: rangeroger Date: 06 Aug 03 - 08:34 PM Mark,IF you had really read the first post you would have seen that time period is from 11:00pm (local) to 2:00am (local). rr |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Amergin Date: 06 Aug 03 - 08:38 PM this must be the terrorist attack that Junior warned us of... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST Date: 06 Aug 03 - 09:59 PM What do you mean "We", Earthlings? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Aug 03 - 10:16 PM You've got the right idea, Peter T.! Martians live a long time, so keep your fingers crossed. My guess is that Dejah Thoris will be commanding several legions of faithful warriors in the first wave. You've also got the right idea, Nicole! Brilliant calculations on your part. Resistance really IS futile this time, folks... What I find hilariously funny is that George W. Bush probably thinks HE is our leader (Ha! Ha! Ha! Gasp! Snort!). The Martians know about him, but they consider him a mere trivial annoyance. Now, Clinton Hammond...THERE's a MAJOR annoyance!!! Expect some real fireworks around Windsor, Ontario shortly after the landings. KALOCH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Aug 03 - 10:18 PM Sorry. Got disconnected by NASA or somebody... I was trying to end that last communique with... KALOCH! N'ATAGH!!! (Martian battlecry) - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Amos Date: 06 Aug 03 - 11:14 PM Hooboy, LH!! You're in trouble now. What you experienced is the modern equivalent of that faint click we used to hear over the old-fashioned Bakelite rotary handsets that informed us a wiretap was being conducted on our phone. Remember that? Well, you get half-way through typing the Martian Battle Cry and look what happens....click....the cyber-equivalent of heavy breathing from an overweight agent in the basement living on black coffee and doughnuts and listening to you and your girlfriend talk socialism!! Hoooooo, you are for it now, big boy!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bill D Date: 06 Aug 03 - 11:35 PM well, I ain't one BIT scared, 'cause I got my Buck Rogers Space Pistol and my special 'Super Gravity De-Hydrating Cosmic Ossifier with the Positronic Snarkle' ready for whatever them Martian send down..(or is it up?) (Enquiring minds want to know, though...if the Martians can cross 33 million miles of space...why can't they cross 35 million miles?) looks like another big scam to me..like that comet silliness...but I guess I'll be making a tinfoil hat, just in case... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 06 Aug 03 - 11:43 PM Aw'ight. Ah'm awreddy outchere in one them remote areas you's tawkin' 'bout. Now, whut them sumbitches look like? If Ah shoots one of 'em Ah'm gonna git th' motor outta his flyin' saucer er whutever they's comin' in 'cause Ah dun blowed up th' motor in mah ole Ford pickup spinnin' donuts out in th' corn field. Ah bet thet ole truck'll haul ass with one them flyin' saucer motors in it. YEE-HAW! Bubba-dubya-ell |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Rustic Rebel Date: 06 Aug 03 - 11:44 PM I think those agents are all part of the plan. They are, after all, aliens themselves that have infiltrated our government agencies preparing for the attack. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Amos Date: 07 Aug 03 - 12:00 AM LOL!!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: open mike Date: 07 Aug 03 - 12:54 AM the first signs will be stars which will be seen shooting from the heavens!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: gnu Date: 07 Aug 03 - 12:00 PM No sweat. We'll just get all the Rhan players of the world to play in unison and it'll vibrate their saucers to pieces. Either that or they'll flee. Don't stand next to any tall buildings and wait until you see the reds of the eyes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,MMario Date: 07 Aug 03 - 12:13 PM heck - they sent a scouting party back in '38 - and our microbes wiped them out...we got even better diseases now! doubt they'll be here more then a few minutes before Ebola, West Nile, Sars etc take them out. Sure - they tried to tell us those radio broadcasts were fiction...huh! Like who'd believe THAT? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: PageOfCups Date: 07 Aug 03 - 12:51 PM Luckily, Bee-dubya-ell and MMario, we can be prepared for the invasion. A top-secret training program has been developed and distributed in the guise of a for-fun video game called "Redneck Rampage." Get a-practicin'!! PoC |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: greg stephens Date: 07 Aug 03 - 01:02 PM Why oh why are all you people so blood-thirsty? Maybe our nearest neighbours are just coming for a visit to hold hands, drink tea and sing praise-songs. Just because they are ugly little bastards with goggling eyes(three of them),long arms (covered in slimy suckers) holding ray-guns, and bad breath: doesnt mean they have to be hostile. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,MMario Date: 07 Aug 03 - 01:08 PM I bet they are in league with the Manatees and the Dutch! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Peter T. Date: 07 Aug 03 - 01:29 PM Sounds like a story coming on....new thread! yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: ToulouseCruise Date: 07 Aug 03 - 03:59 PM Hmmm... do you think they might stop off at the Moon on the way through and pick up some green cheese? It's been a while since I had some. Goes great on BBQ'd chicken pizza, you know. Should we call out Bugs Bunny? he always seemed to do well against that little Martian fellow, Marvin. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Cluin Date: 07 Aug 03 - 05:35 PM The chances of anything coming from Mars Are a million to one, they said. The chances of anything Coming from Mars Are a million to one... But still, they come! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,Debbie Earl Date: 07 Aug 03 - 07:12 PM We went by there on our way here an there weren't nobody there. That's true cuz we askt em and they said that there warnt nobody there. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: The Walrus Date: 07 Aug 03 - 07:57 PM Friendly or Hostile, I've got the soundtrack of "Mars Attacks" taped so one false move and it's yodelling cowboy time greenie... Walrus |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,Paul Revere Date: 07 Aug 03 - 09:56 PM This is serious! It's really going to happen! The martians are going to bend you over a chair and make your dog kick your wife, and there will be at least ten of them , all trained by John Ashcroft on the sacrosanct property of the bigmoney boys of the Bohemian Club, cranked up on craic and each one armed with one of these , which will destroy anything in its path. There is nothing on Earth which can stop them once they land. Don't let them land! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,Trom Bron Date: 07 Aug 03 - 10:34 PM Hi ya'll. Trom Bron here. That's Martian fer Willy Joe. Summa ya'll mightta met me over on that other thread. It don't matter. I'm not here about that nut-house escapee that we're tryin' to get back to Mars. I jus' stopped by to tell ya'll not to pay any attention to anythin' that Debbie Earl says. She ain't no Martian. She's freds. Freds is from someplace, but it shore ain't Mars. Debbie Earl and his girlfriend Bubba Bubba has been hangin' around here so long that they is startin' to think they's human. Playin' the blues and such. Well, I think ya'll need to revoke their greencards. Get 'em outta here before it's too late. Ya'll know that thing ya'll call the asteroid belt? Well, it was a purty nice place until freds got ahold of it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bill D Date: 07 Aug 03 - 10:43 PM I ain't worried...Me and Hiram Peabody are ready with this Hiram is a wonder at makin' things from stuff he finds around the town dump in Ottumwa, Iowa...we will cruise up above the clouds and blast 'em before they can land! (THEN we will go get John Ashcroft!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,Debbie Earl Date: 07 Aug 03 - 10:44 PM it was a long tim a go an it warnt intenshunal no way. we wuz havin a fok feztibal an sum foks got drunk an bustd up the plaice. it kud hapen too ani one. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 07 Aug 03 - 11:01 PM Heloo, I have got a big stick near my door 9its part of my fence waht got busted], and if the aliens come round here, i am going to bash them on the head, with my stick.john |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,John Hardly Date: 07 Aug 03 - 11:14 PM I've done the calculations. Mars still won't be close enough to attack in August. Sure, they'll start the trip, and if they'd sufficiently anticipated the rare proximity they might have made it. Sadly, with gas prices what they are right now, they will fall well short of Earth some time in September. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 07 Aug 03 - 11:19 PM anyway-you with the funny name-Hull9 is halfway down the right side of England, 9its proper name is Kingston upon Hull).john 9from hull) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Rustic Rebel Date: 07 Aug 03 - 11:37 PM Paul Revere you said, "There is nothing on Earth which can stop them once they land. Don't let them land!" Well hell that will be easy. All I have to do is get naked and go outside and start dancing. That will scare anything away. Peace, Rustic |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Jeanie Date: 08 Aug 03 - 04:38 AM Just received my latest copy of "The Linguist" - the journal for members of the Institute of Linguists, a generaly sober and totally kosher organisation based in the UK, which normally restricts itself to languages such as German, French, Spanish etc. etc... HOWEVER, there in black on white (p. 117, Vol. 42. No. 4, 2003 for anyone who doubts it) is a report on the work of 'The Klingon Language Institute' (complete with photo of some of its members) and this startling announcement: "More interesting, and less widely known, is that Schoen [Lawrence Schoen - founder of the Klingon Lang. Inst. - which "offers courses and proficiency exams" in the language] was recently called in to give a presentation to military and civilian linguists at the US National Security Agency." Uh-huh. Say no more... - jeanie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Rapparee Date: 08 Aug 03 - 08:40 AM Have a great time, you and Hiram, Bill D., because that thing in the picture is a still if ever I saw one. And I've seen stills! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bill D Date: 08 Aug 03 - 12:33 PM of course it's got a still built in! Whadda ya think we shoot at them Martians! A high pressure jet of Hiram's 'special' corn squeezins will dissolve any metal. (and what does Hiram keep it in till were ready, you may ask? Why, simple...a 4th dimensional stasis tank that Hiram cobbled together from a '47 Buick radiator, a TRS-80 computer Hiram had carefully preserved, and some funny looking tubing and wires he picked up near Roswell, New Mexico in 1947....all sealed and caulked with a paste made of chicken droppings, his sister Belinda's fruitcake and some well-chewed licorice chewing gum. (Man, my jaws were sore!) (if you want to DRINK some, Hiram will dilute it down to ¾ strength with Everclear & Gatoraid...I don't recommend it, though |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Rapparee Date: 08 Aug 03 - 06:06 PM Looking at the still, the thought was instilled that the craft was a still, still, if there is still a still installed, that's good. Everclear and gatoraid, huh? I think I used to drink that in college. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Aug 03 - 01:36 AM 23 days to go.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Trevor Date: 09 Aug 03 - 10:03 AM Dear Martian thingy. I've got some Schubert in case you want to be taken to my lieder. Please can you avoid buggering about in Greece 'cos I'm going to be on my hols and I'm going to be really pissed if you make me move off my beach. Are you related to Martian Carthy? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Rapparee Date: 09 Aug 03 - 10:20 AM Something just occurred to me: what happens if "Paul Revere" is right?? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,BOUDICCA - Queen of the Iceni Date: 09 Aug 03 - 11:40 AM Then take no chances, Rapaire ! Preparations amongst the Britons are well underway. Gareth has his longbow, John from Hull is armed with his trusty big stick, and Artbrooks is joining us from across the seas. My aspect becomes more terrifying, my hair redder and my voice harsher with every passing minute. We are a force to be reckoned with, indeed ! My fearsome band of warrior maids can do with all the bold men they can lay their hands on, so hear our rallying cry and join with us, Rapaire, and others, to meet the Martian onslaught ! BOUDICCA |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bill D Date: 09 Aug 03 - 11:50 AM " all the bold men they can lay their hands on" ...last time a warrior maiden 'laid her hands' on ME, I was not much good for anything, especially fighting Martians, for a couple days! (good, though) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: lady penelope Date: 09 Aug 03 - 11:50 AM "We will all go together when we go........." Can't be any worse than having the entire NHS pay scale revised on a whim,"because it will be fairer" ( yeah, right....) Parker says Mars attacks him all the time, his hips, his bum and you should see what it's done to his tummy................. Liz the squeak's generally blond, I've got red hair down past me bum, but I do NOT have a large frame....I'm just under tall.......... Any one in need of a steadying Gin cocktail is welcome to drop in, my birthday's the 29th of August so I may just start the party now and see what happens..... TTFN Lady P. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Rapparee Date: 09 Aug 03 - 12:00 PM I've got a recurve bow, 45 pound draw. Is that okay? I also have a cavalry saber. If those are okay I'll do my best to defend Idaho. (I've GOT to remember to get some arrows.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,Paul Revere Date: 10 Aug 03 - 11:39 AM Aw, come on, guys! This is real! The Martians are loading their transporter-like things now for the invasion. The governments of the world are already under the control of Martian mind-rays, and they won't take any steps to save you when the invasion starts on the 27th. I sent Bush an email and got as a response a request to donate to his reelection campaign. As if I would vote for a Martian controlled shrub -- after you have been mind-controlled your own mind is pretty much gone. So's John Ashcroft, by the way, whos brining Chi-Com troops up from Guadalajara to support the invasion. THIS IS TRUE! You crap-for-brains will all be taken to the new Dachau prison camp at San Luis Obisbo and used by the Martians and their dupes as apetizers! And your bones will be ground into flour to make their bread! All around the world those who know are taking up arms against the Martians, and you don't need guns if you don't want to, like these people who are already practicing as you can see from the picture. Save the Earth! Repulse the Martians on the 27th! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 10 Aug 03 - 12:29 PM Sorry, P.R. but it's far worse than George W. Bush being "a Martian controlled shrub". He is, in fact, a Martian. He is, in fact, the Martian whose policies are responsible for the desolate appearance of the Martian landscape. He's the reason there's no air on Mars. He pissed off the atmosphere so badly that it left. He's the reason why the Martian people must live underground like termites instead of on the once beautiful surface of the planet. And he's been living among us Earthlings for lo these many years while under the influence of appearance-enhancing drugs that have given him a reasonable facsimile of human appearance. But, the effects of those drugs are about to wear off. In fact, they will wear off on August 27, 2003. We think we've got problems now? Just wait. Gonna make Debbie Earl and Bubba Bubba look like a couple of pikers. Bruce |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bill D Date: 10 Aug 03 - 01:19 PM " under the control of Martian mind-rays, " 'ol Hiram had heard of those rays, so he cobbled up a receiver to try and monitor 'em...(used the rabbit ear antenna off his old Hoffman TV, a toaster oven with the leads to the elements reversed, and a WWII radio from a B-17--don't ask me how it worked).... but he didn't have a lot of success...he aimed it towards Mars, but when he cranked up the power, all he got was this loud, recurring bell-like note! Over & over..as if he had pointed it at some big bell tower. Well, Hiram foddled & fiddled, as he ain't used to failure. (He kept mumbling about needing that TRS-80 from the saucer/still) Finally, he decided it wasn't worth the trouble, and would just concentrate on blocking the ray, and gearing up for blasting Martians when they arrived....but he still kept mumbling about the weirdness of a ray that made his receiver emit the sound of a big bell... finally, he just shook his head and said pholosophically, "waaal, shucks...I guess it's just one of those rays where everything goes dong" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Amos Date: 10 Aug 03 - 02:03 PM Groooooannnnnnn.....:>) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Art Thieme Date: 10 Aug 03 - 03:21 PM Damn, that'll ruin what would otherwise be a fine day. Why? 'Cause that's the day THE TWO TOWERS is available on tape and DVD. Art |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Megan L Date: 11 Aug 03 - 03:40 PM Ach bairns theres nae caues fur aw this stramash they will be arrivn at7.36 and 25 seconds give or take 3 hours for thier annual Orcadian holliday. I though abody kent they hiv been cummin here fur years. Mind you this years visit should be a belter Maggie Signus third cousin twice removed to the galactic emperor is marryin a wee laddie frae frae Stromness, thats if Cameron gets back frae sooth in time. Aye tem clever clogs at big brither didny ken that. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 11 Aug 03 - 09:13 PM Hey, Bubba, whut 'n th' hell did thet woman jus' say? Thet warn't English, were it? Ah thank it wuz Marshin. Ain't never hurd nobody say "Aye tem clever clogs at big brither didny ken that" b'fore. Haz you? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bill D Date: 11 Aug 03 - 09:28 PM That's from the Nothern part of Mars...where they produce the famous Single-Malt Whstkplfry |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,Rob Roy McGregor Date: 11 Aug 03 - 10:15 PM Aye, but thae recht way ta deal wi' them Marshies wae be tae first fling at them mouldie haggis, an then tae show them claymore and targe while they are holdin their noses. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bill D Date: 11 Aug 03 - 10:28 PM "fling at them mouldie haggis".. Great idea! I always thought the Scottish Games should reverse a couple of events!..THROW the haggis, and EAT the caber...much easier! I pity the poor Martian who lands in Scotland..they'll be so bewildered they will not be back for another 60,000 years.. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 12 Aug 03 - 02:09 PM Scotland is indeed a challenging problem for the upcoming Martian World Authority to deal with. The best plan put forward yet has been to wall off the entire area of Scotland and keep it as a protected game preserve, sort of like Jurassic Park. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,MMario Date: 12 Aug 03 - 02:12 PM Isn't that what Hadrian's wall was all about? (Scholars have long suspected that the Roman Empire was nothing but a front for the Martain/Manatee/Dutch worlkd conquest conspiracy) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bill D Date: 12 Aug 03 - 02:28 PM one man finally gets clued in about extraterrestials |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Amos Date: 12 Aug 03 - 02:39 PM Lotta good a wall would dop. Imagine the great Wall of China, with fleets of mouldy haggis catapulting over it day and night mile upon mile!! And don't think they'd run out, either! Oh, no. They can brew haggis faster than you and I can breathe air!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,MMario Date: 12 Aug 03 - 02:45 PM Amos,Amos, Amos. you have been deluded if you are under the mis-apprehension that haggis are brewed. Everyone knows the wee beastie breeds in the highlands. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Amos Date: 12 Aug 03 - 03:26 PM Oooo, ya, ya, sure...I was using the term loosely, like!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: TheBigPinkLad Date: 12 Aug 03 - 04:24 PM Haggis ... weapon of mass digusting? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST Date: 12 Aug 03 - 04:26 PM or perhaps you meant 'brew' as the future hypothetical tense of 'to breed' |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,William Dawes Date: 12 Aug 03 - 09:46 PM "Paul Revere" is correct, but is only privy to half (or less) of the full story. While it has indeed been 60,000 years since Mars was last this close to Our Home, it will be this close again on August 28, 2287, or a mere 284 years from now. This becomes the horrific part. Should the Reds (if I may so call these denizens of the Red Planet) succeed in their invasion this year, they will utilize Earthly proteins and fats to enrich their own protein and fat starved race. There is but one place on Earth where fats and proteins are found in the abundance needed: the brain. Precisely, in the brain of Homo Sapiens Sapiens. When a member of the dominant species of Our Planet is captured and is to be used for food, the Reds will first initiate a procedure whereby two holes are made through the boney case, dura mater, and other cranial materials. They then insert a tubular device in each hole, through which the cereberal substance is orally evacuated by the native of the Ruddy Orb. Once both hemispheres have been so evacuated, the person is still able to perform all functions but those associated with thought. This has been done, secretly, on various members of the leadership clique of the United States, Britain, and certain other countries. I urge you to resist this coming attack. Should you elect not to do so, whether such election is made through cowardice, apathy, or disbelief, you will assuredly find yourselves in the tentacles of those who are opposed to Our Way Of Life. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bill D Date: 12 Aug 03 - 10:14 PM Jiminy Christmas! I'm gonna hafta wear a Titanium foil hat! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: lady penelope Date: 13 Aug 03 - 04:32 PM Nah Bill, I'm still opting for the Gin based cocktails. I'll just bet them marshies can't tollerate pickled grey matter. Chin Chin! TTFN Lady P. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Dave Bryant Date: 13 Aug 03 - 09:32 PM I wonder what Martian Folk Music's like. Well they're welcome to turn up at our session at "The Black Horse" Stanstead (near Wrotham, Kent) on Thursday 28th and we can find out. Good Lord, I've actually beaten Breezy to an adverting opportunity ! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 13 Aug 03 - 10:22 PM Just CLICK THIS. I have no further comments at this time. If I did have any further comments I'm sure the words "We're all gonna fuckin' die!" would figure heavily. Bruce |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Amos Date: 13 Aug 03 - 10:39 PM BRuce, That is breathtaking!! LOL!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: C-flat Date: 14 Aug 03 - 06:08 AM As the 27th is my birthday I would prefer if the end of the world could be delayed until I've had the chance to wear my new socks at least! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bill D Date: 14 Aug 03 - 08:24 AM Bruce.... your "click this" image....it's just Bush's choice to be Governor of California. The Republicans needed someone who wouldn't stand out in the crowd of candidates too much! (Besides, he contributed 20,000,000 zlotymnphs to the Rep. party) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 14 Aug 03 - 06:45 PM Let there be no mistake. The huge power outage that has occurred today is a precursor of the Martian invasion. They can say "no evidence of terrorism" all they want. Sure, no evidence of terrestrial terrorism. The Martians are way too subtle to have it look like terrorism. A super-concentrated-laser-death-ray to exactly the right perfectly innocuous looking little switch and "WHAM"! Half the country with no blow-dryers. Bruce |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST, Mesocricetus auratus Date: 15 Aug 03 - 11:54 AM Be it known to all Homo pseudosapiens that we the Golden Hamsters of the World (Local 471) support our aquatic cousins the Manatees - and their allies, those brave residents of the Red Planet. All Hamsters and our affiliates the gerbils, along with mice, rats and chipmunks are urged *NOT* to comply with the request of any hominid to energize any sort of wheel, generation device or equiptment of the ilk. Feline-kind of course would never stoop to such labour - and we are currently negotiating with the bovine, equine, caprine and camelids of the world to stage a cross species strike. These have failed utterly with the canids - but most of them are more hominid then the hominids. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: lady penelope Date: 15 Aug 03 - 03:22 PM Catch my cat doing anything it was asked to? They could be our best last hope................... I gotta lay off the Babylon 5................. Have now switched to rum based cocktails, fellow celebrants still welcome TTFN Lady P. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 15 Aug 03 - 04:09 PM "...rats and chipmunks are urged *NOT* to comply with the request of any hominid to energize any sort of wheel, generation device or equiptment of the ilk." Equiptment of the ilk? I have it on best authority that ilks do not have any equiptment. Ilks are a very singular species in this regard in that most species are born with either male or female equiptment, though some are born with both male and female equiptment, and a few, like certain species of grouper, are born with one kind of equiptment but can change it to the other kind depending on population pressures. Ilks, however, have absolutely no equiptment of any kind. Given this fact, it's amazing that their are so many of them around. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Amos Date: 15 Aug 03 - 05:11 PM Bruce, Bruce, stop posing as an expert until you get the names right. The plural of ilk (singular) is ilk (plural). Just as several elk are elk and several deer are deer. It's the never-before-herd mentality. In fact long before Yuri Gargarin went into space the US actually launched a satellite similar to a Sputnik, but with several ilk in the cargo bay, known in history as the herd shot round the world... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bill D Date: 15 Aug 03 - 06:49 PM *making notes and taking names* |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Rapparee Date: 16 Aug 03 - 04:45 PM I have returned from Boise, Idaho, where I attended a meeting of the Pacific Northwest Library Association. Should anyone think that The Attack isn't coming, I suggest that you consider that last evening at about 8:50 pm MDT, about 200 librarians, most from Oregon, Washington, Alaska, Idaho, Alberta, Montana, and British Columbia, were learning and doing the "Coalminer's Dance" to the music of taiko drums. If THAT isn't an apocalypic sign nothing is. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Hillheader Date: 17 Aug 03 - 03:28 PM Guys We can all save the world (or our respective parts of it) if we play Daniel O'Donnell or Sydney Devine CD's full blast. If the Martians still want to rule earth after hearing those two then they deserve it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,Apollionus of Tyre Date: 17 Aug 03 - 06:44 PM Dudes, you got 'bout 12 days 'fore these Martian cats are gonna come here and whip your sorry asses. You ain't got doodly-poodly that's gonna stop 'em, neither. I've seen those cats in a vision and man, lemme tell you, they eat 'tomic bombs for breakfast -- and that's literal, man, not some blow-it-out exageration, ya know? These cats give new meanin' to the word "mean mother." They are baaaaaaaaaad, man, ya know? Now, if I were you, I'd be practicin' being nice to 'em, saying things like, "Here, O Mighty One, I know you're hungry, so take Spaw" and stuff like that while you're on your knees. But then agin, I ain't you. So you cats just fiddle while Rome burns, ya know? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Rapparee Date: 17 Aug 03 - 06:51 PM Guest App can't do arithmetic. I make it to be 10 days. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bill D Date: 17 Aug 03 - 07:06 PM barely enough time to get the warning signs nailed to the sticks and get out on the streets of Los Angeles !! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,Heavy D Date: 18 Aug 03 - 06:00 PM Thats right, suckah! Them martians gonna kick ASS! KNow what I'm sayin? Them muthas gonna nail you white boys to the wall, man! The shit is gonna hit the fan. Know what I'm syain? You can take that to the bank, sucka! Yo momma aint gonna help you now! I'm Heavy D You bettah listen to me! Cos I'm de man What got de plan I'm tellin you You're just a foo' Y'all gonna die Get baked in a pie By a big green dude Who's mean and rude You'll lose your socks Cos this dud ROCKS! Now you been told By a man that's bold I'm HEAVY D! I'm HEAVY D! AND YOU BETTAH LISTEN TO ME!!! Cool. Enjoy, man, till Aug 27. Then it's all ovah. Know what I'm sayin? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: LadyJean Date: 18 Aug 03 - 06:59 PM THEY'RE GOING TO TORONTO FOR WORLDCON!!!!!!!! No one will notice them! They'll think they're wearing hall costumes! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,freds Date: 21 Aug 03 - 08:35 AM hey dit yu guis no that the nex planit owt iz makin reddy too atak yu maybee yu dit huh aniwey we jis thot we wood let yu no in caz yu dint no |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,Mudcat News Service Date: 21 Aug 03 - 11:29 AM NEWSFLASH!!!! KEY TO HALTING MARTIAN INVASION REVEALED!!!! Mudcat News Service's craic team of investigative reporters have discovered a serious flaw in the pending Martian invasion of Earth! (And you thought Windows XP was the only thing that had serious flaws.) It has been revealed to us that if the Mother of All BS Threads (MOAB) reaches a level of 1000 posts before the scheduled invasion date there will be a serious realignment in the Natural Order that will allow us to repel the Martians by shear power of Will. (When asked, Will had no comment - good or ill.) It is up to each and every Mudcatter to do his/her/its part to see that the 1000th post is made before August 27, 2003. In a related story, it has been revealed that when the Mother of All BS Threads (MOAB) reaches 10,000 posts the Earth's magnetic poles will reverse.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 21 Aug 03 - 12:47 PM Wow. Now that has the ring of total authenticity to me! This is serious stuff, folks. Given the fact that I've been sort of hoping the Martian invasion would succeed, it's quite disturbing too. It's a nailbiting countdown to August 27th now. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bill D Date: 21 Aug 03 - 01:27 PM when asked again, Will replied: "If a man were to signify, if he had the POWER, which, being denied him, he were to endeavor anyhow, merely because he don't-would YOU?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,MMario Date: 21 Aug 03 - 01:32 PM Will Powers is nothing but a sham! Don't listen to him! Faith Healer is the only one who can show us the true way to defeat the Martians! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Rapparee Date: 21 Aug 03 - 02:33 PM If I help them, will the Martians give me a pony? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,MMario Date: 21 Aug 03 - 03:05 PM you still trying to get that pony? Have you talked to a |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bill D Date: 21 Aug 03 - 03:19 PM well...not 'exactly', Rapaire....the Martians have advanced cloning/bio-conversion techniques... you will BE the pony! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bill D Date: 21 Aug 03 - 03:34 PM in case you doubt me, here is the very Martian who does the genetic alteration! resemblance to these things they found in Roswell in '47 accidental? Hah! I think not! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,MMario Date: 21 Aug 03 - 03:48 PM here's one poor guy halfway through his transformation |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Amos Date: 21 Aug 03 - 05:05 PM Omigawd its really happeninganinganinganing..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 21 Aug 03 - 05:33 PM We'll do better than that, Rapaire...we'll get you a thoat! It's an 8-legged Martian beast that you can ride into battle and go shopping with on quieter days. Thoats are far more impressive than ponies. Put in your order now and look ahead to the fine times that await you, post-invasion, when you will be rescued from the tyrannical oppressors in suits who now govern you and ushered into a new era of liberty and freedom! McDonalds and WalMart will be atomized. Women will wear neat little miniskirt and diaphanous top outfits and will charge into the fray beside their men wielding swords and atom pistols. No one will ever be bored again. (Sounds great, doesn't it?) :-) - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,BOUDICCA - Queen of the Iceni Date: 21 Aug 03 - 05:40 PM Ponies, Rapaire ?! Ponies ???? Who wants ponies when they can have Impressively Well-built Stallions like mine ? Rapaire ! Little Hawk ! Resist all temptation to collaborate with the Martian hordes. Join with us instead. Surely this is an offer you cannot refuse? If the Martians have already turned you equine, fear not ! My warrior maids and I can do with all the bold fighting men *and* stallions that we can lay our hands on ! Your Warrior Queen BOUDICCA |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST Date: 22 Aug 03 - 08:46 AM I thot freds wuz bad - wanning enimules and peeples together bud aleast theyre freds. Boudicca yuz a women an yer wantz men an stallions together? sick.sick.sick. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,c'lqfffthon §‡ Date: 26 Aug 03 - 08:39 PM gnelk!--p'nzazakenorb c'lqfffthon bnulqereq! ¡¡¿¿vllpz¡ fzzzzeepp! pnt¡ogµðþ!!¿ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Rapparee Date: 26 Aug 03 - 08:57 PM Yes, yes, we know. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Ebbie Date: 26 Aug 03 - 09:29 PM Tomorrow is the big day so I guess I'll say Goodbye now. Unless you're on the other side of the world, in which case, how about a fare thee well from you? :) You suppose there are people out there who are planning to gather on hillsides? It's been done before. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: jimmyt Date: 26 Aug 03 - 10:42 PM It is 10:40 pm and I have read this thread for the first time on 8/26 I got a damn hour and 20 minutes to go! Great!!! anyone want to buy my baseball card collection? I am not even putting the milk back in the fridge! bye! (at least I don't have to plan on what I am wearing to work tomorrow) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,ÕÇÞߟÐþŒ Date: 26 Aug 03 - 11:02 PM You earthling fools! Do you really think we are going to invade your measley little planet tommorrow? Hah! We invaded it years and years ago. Just look at the way we've infiltrated your food supply. Click in this general area. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: gnu Date: 27 Aug 03 - 06:42 AM I see it's raining outside, so I guess they won't bother, eh ? I suppose I'll wear my green workshirt and pants today, though, just in case. Nothing like a little kissing up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,MMario Date: 27 Aug 03 - 08:58 AM apparantly MOAB has triumphed! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 27 Aug 03 - 10:31 AM It was all just a misunderstanding! It wasn't "Martians" that were going to invade today. It was "marsh hens"! The marsh hen or clapper rail (Rallus longirostis) is a common wading bird of marshes and estuaries along the Atlantic and Gulf coasts of the U.S. (PICTURE) Hey, a mistake anyone could make, huh? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: C-flat Date: 27 Aug 03 - 10:55 AM So you mean to say I've spent my entire birthday waiting for the Marsh hens to attack? I needn't have cancelled the party? Told the boss what I really thought of him? Introduced the missus to the mistress? Well it's the end of the world as I know it!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 27 Aug 03 - 11:13 AM Then, on the other hand, let's not underestimate the seriousness of a marsh hen invasion. The little buggers have some sharp beaks and can inflict severe pecks to one's nether regions. I'm sure that having one's pecker pecked by an angry Rallus longirostris is no fun. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Amos Date: 27 Aug 03 - 11:16 AM C-flat, Well, have a happy birthday anyway, mate!! There's always tomorrow.] :>) A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,MMario Date: 27 Aug 03 - 11:26 AM their annual migration begins? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 27 Aug 03 - 11:34 AM It's been delayed due to technical difficulties... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bill D Date: 27 Aug 03 - 01:30 PM you sure about your ID, Bruce? The 'Marsh Hen' on the East coast seems to be Botaurus lentiginosus them Rallus critters seems to be Texas and California residents....maybe that is what brought on the 'Martian' reports! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 27 Aug 03 - 04:10 PM Oh no! It's worse than I thought! That means that there are two species of bird with the common name "marsh hen". That means that Rallus longirostris will invade the salt marshes while its distant cousin Botaurus lentiginosus invades the inland areas. A two-pronged attack! Bruce |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Rapparee Date: 27 Aug 03 - 08:03 PM 'Sokay. Some of those Hallitosis Railroadensis birds were flyin' over the city skeet range this afternoon. Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, Washington, Oregon, Utah, Nevada, Alberta, and British Columbia are now safe from 'em. We do have a big disposal problem here, though. Latest thought is to ship 'em to Southern California and tell them folks that's it's a gourmet treat. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Bill D Date: 27 Aug 03 - 08:15 PM "something between Trumpeter Swan and Spotted Owl", no doubt... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Ebbie Date: 27 Aug 03 - 10:25 PM pssssstttt... Is it safe to come out yet? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: catspaw49 Date: 27 Aug 03 - 10:34 PM Ta' hell with the Marsh Hens, the prediction was RIGHT!!! Tonite we went to the Sweet Corn Festival where I downed half a barbequed chicken, some tater salad, a "few" ears of corn, some greasy onion rings, several lemonades and iced teas, plus sharing a few funnel cakes and Dumbo Ears...........Sure enough, the attack came and I'm downing the baking soda, antacids, etc., while maintaining a cordial relationship with my downstairs bathroom. And I figured this thread was full of shit!!! Turned out to be me........... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Rapparee Date: 27 Aug 03 - 10:35 PM THEY'RE HERE! THEY'RE OUTSIDE THE DOOR! They are carrying torches and pitchforks and scythes and clubs and are chanting something...wait.... Oh, nevermind. It's just the Idaho Welcome Wagon. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: artbrooks Date: 27 Aug 03 - 10:42 PM Spaw, we have never had any doubt....... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: lady penelope Date: 28 Aug 03 - 04:21 AM Well just because nobody showed I don't see any reason to change my plan of drinking till me birthday, which is tomorrow. If I don't post again, it will be 'cos my liver's given out. Now, back to the vodka based cocktails.........Celebrants still welcome! TTF (hic) N Lady P. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Rapparee Date: 28 Aug 03 - 08:28 AM Thank heavens, we WON!! The attack came, but like the Y2K problem, Those Who Understood managed to save the planet from destruction, despair, and depradation. When you think of this in the future, you'll say that it was a hoax, a non-problem. If you're tempted to say that, think of the brave platoon of the Idaho Regiment that was wiped last night as they bravely stood their ground against the hoards of Martian invaders, defending Earth until reinforcements arrived -- too late to save them, but in time to do their bit in saving Earth. Think of the courageous Anzac Brigade which defended Queen Maude's Land, the white snow red with their blood and aqua with with the ichor of their foes. Think of the poor folks who had to clean up the battlefield later: one of them lost their lunch over the red-and-aqua color scheme. I don't have the details yet on the battles in Nunavit, Iceland, Novosibrosk, Tonduchon, on Inch Strand, on Skye, in Trois Maries, in Pass Christian, in Saskatoon, or on Saipan. Suffice to say that in all places the defenders roundly defeated the invaders and piles of alien body parts are neatly stacked. First reports of battles elsewhere, including at Ell Five and Luna City, are starting to drift in. Remember them, those who defended you and Gave Their All so that you wouldn't be some alien Martian's breakfast today. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Amos Date: 28 Aug 03 - 09:55 AM I am so glad I was wearing my aluminum foil headgear!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: GUEST,,c'lqfffthon §‡ Date: 28 Aug 03 - 10:15 AM oh, phhhfffttt! just wait till NEXT time! only 300 years, not 60,000! Next time we start with Disneyland. Long live ðÐÞµ°€¡ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Amos Date: 28 Aug 03 - 10:43 AM ANyone get any of their armament and transport systems? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Attack coming on August 27!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 28 Aug 03 - 11:52 AM President Bush made a emergency broadcast to the nation this morning: On August 27, 2003, a day which will live in incompetence, the military forces of the Empire of Mars did launch a dastardly and unprovoked surprised attack upon the peace-loving inhabitants of Idaho, USA...and a variety of other places (but who cares about those, cos most of 'em were in foreign countries which aren't American...yet). This attack came even as the lying Martian envoys were conducting supposedly normal diplomatic discussions with American officials in Washington and trying to determine how we pronounce the word "nukular" on this planet. The perfidy of this unprovoked attack is unrivalled in the history of the Universe and shall be met with a grim resolve by we, the innocent victims of this vile aggression! Never before in the history of mankind has anyone committed such pointless and duplici...dubalict...duplessis...um...SNEAKY an attack on a peace-loving people as the Martian attack of August 27th! It will not go unanswered! Even now I am preparing a proposal for Congress to allocate funds sufficient to mount a punitive expeditionary force to invade Mars within the next 12 months, this force to be launched in an operation which I have decided to call "OPERATION IMMEASURABLE FREEDOM"...or "OIF". I want to bring attention to the fact that the Evil Martian Empire sent their troops in claiming the right to "pre-emptive attack in self-defense", as if that was a justification for what can only be seen as naked aggression! Furthermore, they claimed that we had "weapons of mass destruction" capable of destroying an entire planet. Ha! Where?...I say where?...are those weapons of mass destruction??? Nowhere! That's where. They lied through their teeth, folks, and I am not gonna let 'em get away with it. They also claimed that we assisted Ming the Merciless of Venus in blowing up that clam bar in Kel'th'a'pathlz'ne'n...in...in the Martian capital last year. Another blatant lie! We can't stand Ming the Merciless and would feed him into a meat grinder if we ever got the chance to. Ming hates us and we hate him. End of story. Well, those Martian dimwits have made a big mistake. All around me I can feel the righteous anger of America building like a mighty wave of vengeance that will cause fat guys to get off their couches, drop their can of Coors, and grab for their shootin' irons, and get ready to sweep the Evil Martian Empire off the face of the Earth! Well, no, I mean off the face of the Universe...assuming the Universe has a face...well, you know what I mean! We're gonna get 'em! We're gonna smoke 'em out! And we're not stoppin' until the job is done! Hear this Mars! America is coming!!! |
