What are the worst lyric screwups you've

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Genie
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 06:56 PM

I have a similar problem with Puff, The Magic Dragon.   

The line "Painted wings and giants' rings" usually comes out
"Painted rings ..." before I realize I've messed up the (plausible) first part and sort of painted myself into the corner of having to finish with "... and giants' wings."

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Linda Goodman Zebooker
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 06:44 PM

There's the story about the singer trying to sing

"Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly,
I've gotta love one man till I die".

and instead she started with
"Fish gotta fly and birds gotta swim........."

not sure where it went after that.

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: slowerairs
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 06:21 PM

A friend of mine who sang regularily at folk clubs in the North East

of England, refused to sing the Stan Rogers song, The Lock keeper,

having on one occasion, sung the words * Her thighs catch on your

shoulder* instead of   *Her sighs catch on your shoulder*

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: mustradclub
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 05:12 AM

Theres an Irish song Peta and I used to sing which contains the line.

"She smiles on my countenance as she sits on my knee"

Now you have to be very careful to get the smiles and the sits the right way round or the song becomes positively pornographic.


Ken Hall

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 Oct 06 - 07:13 PM

Darowyn

It's the old "don't mention the war" syndrome...

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Darowyn
Date: 22 Oct 06 - 06:36 PM

I think that there's a Joan Baez screw-up on "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" as well.
She sings :-
"'Till so much cavalry came and tore up the tracks again"
Historically it should be:-
"Till Stoneman's cavalry came" - i.e. Stonewall Jackson.
Cheers
Dave

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,Trev
Date: 22 Oct 06 - 03:21 PM

As a kid (and for years after) i always thought Virgil Kane took his train to Richmond La Fell (according to Joan Baez). Years later I realised it was actually "Richmond, which fell" (itsef a mangling of RR's lyric, "By may the tenth Richmond had fell"

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 22 Oct 06 - 12:18 PM

It might have been OK if I'd sung the cryptic crossword version (some say love is like a flo-er)?

Kitty

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Darowyn
Date: 22 Oct 06 - 12:08 PM

It's wierd sometimes how a lyric screw-up stands out in your imagination as you start the song, and seems to lure you into it.
I wrote a song about the strange people that there are in the folkie scene- you know, authentic traddies, singer songwriters, dialect poets, morris dancers etc. and a group that at the time were called "New age travelers"
The line in question goes:-
"If I were a little bit younger, I'd be a New age travelling man,
With a dog on a string and a didgeridoo, and a tired old Transit van"
Somwhere the image crept into my mind of a dog on a stick- a canine lollipop.
I started the song thinking "Don't sing stick, don't sing stick,"
But I did!
It got a laugh though!
Cheers
Dave

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: eddie1
Date: 22 Oct 06 - 06:29 AM

A five-year-old, approaching his first Christmas at school, told me proudly he had learnt a song called "Three Wee Kings"!
The title seemed appropriate somehow.

Eddie

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 21 Oct 06 - 08:07 PM

I once started singing the Rose with "some say love is like a flower". Nowhere to go except rewind back to the beginning....

Kitty

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 21 Oct 06 - 09:13 AM

ROFL...

wasn't a cousin of Sodoff Baldric, was her?

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: JennyO
Date: 21 Oct 06 - 09:10 AM

Was the main port of Getacomi called Sinomor? Lots of sailors sang about going there!

Sinomor? Wasn't that somewhere near Dothoulikewise?

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,Brian Peters
Date: 21 Oct 06 - 08:55 AM

Not really a Mondegreen, but for a really poor attempt to extricate the singer from a forgotten-lyrics crisis, I nominate Pete, then lead singer of Rigid Fish, a fairly incompetent rock band I formed with some university friends. Amidst our standard fare of Groundhogs and Status Quo covers we performed (for reasons that remain puzzling) 'King Henry' as recorded by Steeleye Span. Somewhere in my archive there is exists a recording proving that Pete, in place of the line: 'In there came a grizzly ghost, stamping on the floor', actually sang: 'In there came a thingy thing, wanking on the stairs'.

Ah, the power of those old Child Ballads....

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Snuffy
Date: 21 Oct 06 - 05:09 AM

Was the main port of Getacomi called Sinomor? Lots of sailors sang about going there!

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,Cat Feral
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 10:26 PM

When I was a child, my parents had several Tom Lehrer(sp?) albums, one of which included the great World War Three battle song, "So Long, Mom!"

This song contains the line, "Remember Mommie, I'm off to get a Commie!"

It took me YEARS to realize that "Getacomi" was not a little county somewhere in South East Asia!

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 23 Aug 06 - 08:44 AM

So do I Don, so do I...

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 23 Aug 06 - 05:18 AM

"Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Foolestroupe - PM
Date: 22 Aug 06 - 08:28 PM

That's damn near a song challenge, Don..."



Already done, I'm afraid. It's one of Les Barker's song parodies.

I wish I had thought of it first.

Don T.

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,catherine yronwode
Date: 23 Aug 06 - 02:03 AM

Like jimmyt of 03 Sep 02 i always hear the 5th Dimension line "you and me, endlessly" as "you and me and Leslie" and could not understand why they were singing about a menage a trois!

Mondagreens take their life from being shared among the cognescenti -
- and a pre-war acoustic rural blues mondagreen is pretty difficult to
share, as some of you can no doubt appreciate.

Well, anyway, i have been amused by my own little acoustic rural pre-
war blues mondagreen for many years now.

The song is by Mattie Delaney and it is about the 1920s flood on the Tallahatchie River:

. Tallatchie River rising, Lord it's mighty bad
. Tallatchie River rising, Lord it's mighty bad
. Some people on Tallahatchie done lost everything they had

I really do know the proper lyrics, but whenever i am not paying
attention, i always hear it startlingly wrong and have a good laugh.

. Tallatchie River rising, Lord it's mighty bad
. Tallatchie River rising, Lord it's mighty bad
. Some peoples on bad acid done lost everything they had

The weird thing is that now my husband has started hearing it as "bad acid" too. It's a *contagious* mondegeen.

cat yronwode

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,margo
Date: 23 Aug 06 - 01:58 AM

hey,
Syren has a great story about "Farewell to Tarwathie" if she will see this maybe she'll post it.
Margo

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 Aug 06 - 08:28 PM

That's damn near a song challenge, Don...

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 22 Aug 06 - 08:08 PM

Don't play me your concertina?

Don T.

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Genie
Date: 22 Aug 06 - 11:04 AM

Yeah, but "Don't cry for me, Arkansas, doesn't SCAN right."

I kind of like the sound of "Don't cry for me, Condoleezza."

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Greg B
Date: 22 Aug 06 - 10:55 AM

>'Don't Cry for Me Oklahoma'

>Hilary Clinon's 2008 unsuccessful end of campaign party song?

I believe that would be 'Arkansas.'

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Genie
Date: 22 Aug 06 - 10:45 AM

Quote=Nick: "I did hear someone in a pub once launch into 'Don't Cry for Me Oklahoma'

(I didn't stay to hear them do -
'Argentina, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain'"

ROTFLMAO, Nick!

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 Aug 06 - 09:57 AM

'Don't Cry for Me Oklahoma'

Hilary Clinon's 2008 unsuccessful end of campaign party song?

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Nick
Date: 22 Aug 06 - 09:53 AM

I did hear someone in a pub once launch into 'Don't Cry for Me Oklahoma'

(I didn't stay to hear them do -
'Argentina, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain
And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet
When the wind comes right behind the rain...')

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Greg B
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 02:15 PM

Once, when a music minister for a Campus Ministry
center, my #1 announced the next song.

It was to be 'What You Hear In the Dark' (you
must speak in the light).

Only she announced 'What You Do in the Dark.'

In the tittering silence that followed, I inquired
as to whether that was liturgical or country-western.

Just another day at Our Lady of St. Malaprop.

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: terrier
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 12:57 PM

Heard at a shanty session singing Brave Benbow.
When the singer got to the line "Brave Benbow lost his legs by chainshot",it came out as
Brave Benbow lost his legs...BITING SHARKS...BITING SHAR..AR.ARKS.
Stuck in my memory ever since.

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Genie
Date: 20 Aug 06 - 12:34 AM

Oops, I did it again! Today.

Twice.

I was doing a sing-along at a rehab facility and we were doing the song "My Guy." Both times through the bridge, the line "My opinion is he's the cream of the crop" came out "... he's the queen of the crop."   The second time thru, though, I kind of caught it in time and sort of changed it "cream" in mid-stream.

I don't know if anyone else noticed, but it does kind of paint "my guy" in a bit of a different light.

LOL

Genie

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 11:57 PM

"Richard Hunter" - cousin of 'Tab' Hunter?

:-)

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Geordie-Peorgie
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 08:47 PM

Aah wez tryin' te get me daughters (The Rock Chicks) te learn "Farewell To Tarwathie"

The last line of the forst vorse is ".....in hopes to find riches a-hunting the whale"

My eldest took months to get oot of the habit of singin' "... in hopes to find Richard Hunter, the whale"

She's gorrit noo and diz a canny job alang wi' some other trad classics

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,Puck
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 07:04 PM

I like Jon Hislop's 'The Last Fisherman'... a wonderful song written in the true folk tradition... but have trouble with the line which refers to the trawlers at enforced rest in the harbour due to fishing regulations, which says 'they sit on shifting sand'...[beautiful line tho' it is] always confuses me and now it can come out quite unintentionally as 'they shit on sifting sand' Sorry Jon.

P.

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Genie
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 06:31 PM

I was recently singing the song "I'm In Love With A Wonderful Guy," from "South Pacific," and the line, "...and you will note there's a lump in my throat" came out as -- um -- well, let's just say the word "lump" came out sounding like I was maybe from Japan. ;)

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Mark Ross
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 11:43 AM

"When the worker's inspiration through the Union's blood shall run."

At the Democratic Socialist Organizing Committee Dinner at the Statler Hilton, with Victor Reuther and Mike Harrington present(they didn't get as upset as some of the union piecards though. I had a drink with Reuther later and got to listen to him tell stories of organizing in Detroit in the '30's).

Mark Ross

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 03:23 AM

'What are the worst lyric screwups you've'

Saying, "I do."

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Genie
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 03:10 AM

Of course, I may have an unconscious scatalogical bent (twist?) to my mind.
Occasionally, when I'm singing the traditional German Christmas song "O Tannenbaunm," the line
"Du grünst nicht nur zum sommerzeit
(You're green not only in summertime,)
Nein, auch im winter venn es schneit
(No, also in winter when it snows...),"

i slip and sing "scheit," instead of "schneit."

...

Oh, well ...

Genie

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Genie
Date: 02 Jul 05 - 01:18 PM

About a week ago I was doing a gig at a senior center in Lynnwood, WA, and I started to sing the song "Cuando Calienta El Sol (Aqui En La Playa)."   I was a little spacey that day (lack of sleep or something) and, anwway, when I got to to this part --
"Es tu palpitar,
Es tu cara,
Son tus besos,
Me estremezco, oh,oh,oh ... "*

I got my twongue tisted and instead of "me estremezco" (sung as "m'estremezco"), I sang "escremento."

I stifled a laugh at my mistake and said to the audience, between lines, "I hope none of you speak Spanish!" Whereupon a gentleman in the front row grinned, raised his hand, and said "I do!"

Now, mind you, I wasn't positive "escremento" is a real Spanish word.   (Turns out the Spanish version is spelled "excremento," though I'm pretty sure the Italians spell it with the "s.") But there are certain Latin-derived words that are pretty much recognizable in their permutations in all the Romance languages and sometimes even Northern European languages.   Words like "intelligenzia," "nature," and, um, well, ... you know. ;-)

Anyway, when this man said he understood and then gave a knowing laugh, I turned bright red and cracked up. The harder I tried to quit laughing, the less I was able to do it.   The auditory image of my trying to sing (translation) "It's your face, your skin, your kisses. I tremble," and singing "It's your face, your skin, your kisses. Shit!" instead -- well, that image kept popping into my head and I couldn't even remember the lyrics to the second verse!   I finally gave up, went on to another song (in English), and then did "Bèsame Mucho" later, instead.

I will probably never know how many people in the audience even noticed my initial mistake (and I probably should have just kept singing -- but it was just too funny!).   I think a lot of them, even without speaking Spanish, would have figured out what the word meant had they noticed it.

Anyway, what way to ruin a romantic moment in song!

Genie

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 09:48 AM

My husband was 30 before he realized the song "Love lift us up where we belong" was not actually "The LIP goes up where it belongs." When questioned on it, he admitted he'd always been perplexed by that lyric.
Also- he thought the song "Raspberry Beret" by The Artist Formerly Known as Prince (or whatever he calls himself these days) was "Raspberry Parade".

Beccy

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Genie
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 02:32 AM

Being inclined to process information auditorily, I have found myself increasingly (as senility sets in) making verbal mistakes that reflect that propensity. E.g., I recently referred, in a conversation with my brother, to the "gunfight at the OK canal."
I did not notice the mistake, but my bro quickly picked up on it, to his great amusement.

Then recently when singing "The Battle Hymn Of The Republic," I caught MYSELF singing "...He is trampling out the village where the grapes of wrath are stored..." .   Except that I didn't get to finish the line. On "village," I cracked up and couldn't sing for a line or two!

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Genie
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 09:25 PM

I was recently doing room-to-room music in a convalescent hospital and a woman requested "What A Friend (We Have In Jesus)." I've known the song since I was the proverbial knee-high to a grasshopper, but much to my surprise, the second line ("All our sins and griefs to bear") came out
"All our skins and briefs to bare."

It was all I could do not to crack up as I tried to finish the song!

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: syren
Date: 28 Jun 03 - 07:34 AM

Well, I have to jump in here.....one of the worst screwups onstage, by me, was back when I was in my first band, The Howling Gael. We used to open....every gig....with Steeleye Span's "Misty, Moisty Morning".....I could sing that song drunk or sober and in my sleep! But then I used to have nightmares about blowing the line ..."I'll plow and mow and reap and sow and she will sit and spin...". Never did, tho.....till we did a school gig and there I was in front of the entire 7th grade of the Mt. Tabor Middle School....and out of my mouth came the words..."and she will shit and spin..."! And yes, every single kid in that audience caught it!
My wonderful band partner in Broadside, Andrea Aldridge, wrote a great spoof (of the Shanty The Alabama), "When the Alabama's Crew Got Laid", which is, of course, the first line. So there we are, a bunch of us,(not Andrea)doing a big festival on the waterfront in Portland and one of the women tells the story of The Alabama, prior to singing the song...and sure enough, the first line out of her mouth is...you guessed! Stopped the two policemen passing in front of the stage dead in their tracks!
Hey, I like this thread!

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: DMcG
Date: 26 Jun 03 - 04:36 AM

I have to concentrate singing "The Postman" ("What a wonderful lad the postman is/As he hastens from door to door") whenever I came to the line about the letter that "he drops through a hole in the door" because I first heard it as a comment about the postman "He drops through a hole in the floor." I don't always succeed, and the song collapses in a heap within the next few notes.

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 25 Jun 03 - 03:53 PM

Unintentionally, I was singing along to a Burger King commercial (No, I'm not going to tell you how long ago either If you know the commercial you'll figure it out) The BK lyric is "It takes two hands to handle a whopper" my version came out "It takes two hands to handle my whopper" My girlfriend at the time who is now my wife was not terribly amused.
   Intentionally; I was at a re-enactment four years ago and a pal of mine was singing "Johnny Angel" When he came to the part that said.."Other fellows ask me out for a date, but I just sit and wait, I'd rather comptemplate on Johnny Angel" I substituted the word masturbate for comptemplate. never on stage though. Kindest regards, Neil

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Hillheader
Date: 25 Jun 03 - 03:34 PM

I once asked my nephew (5 then) what he had learned at school this week. He told me that God was so big that he had two names. When I asked how he knew that he said "Our Father Howard in heaven, Harold be thy name....". I'm still not sure if he was serious.

Davebhoy

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,Dave H.
Date: 25 Jun 03 - 03:20 PM

I just got back from the Doctors office. Hear the BeeGees on the radio singing "Heaven" could have sworn I heard them sing

"Nobody gets too much heaven no more,
Its as wide as a river and harder to climb"

Did a double take wondering how one climbs a river?

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,alinact
Date: 25 Jun 03 - 12:21 PM

Listen closely to Eric Burdon singing Sky Pilot. Instead of the line "but he'll stay behind, and he'll meditate", I swear he sings "but he stay'll behind...". Also, there is a line in The Spanish Ladies that goes "first she spied me, then she fled me..." In the Dubliners 15 Years On version, I'm sure they sing "first she shit me..."

Going back to jimmyt's first post, when he talks about "you and me and Lesley", I think he is referring to the Young Rascals song Groovin'. I'm pretty sure cos I used to think it was the same thing!

Allan

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,Dave H.
Date: 25 Jun 03 - 10:36 AM

Ain't kids wonderful!

When my son was about 7 or so and we were on our way to vacation with the inlaws for Christmas we heard him softly singing "Tater Tots with their eyes all a'glow" Sort of makes sense as 'taters do have eyes. Still the laughter took us through a few miles.

When my daughter was 4 she was attending preschool and was taught The River is Wide and Deep along with hand movements. She could never keep the movements right so was constantly singing the river is wide while her hands were showing deep and vice versa for deep. She is also very pragmatic, so in the childrens tune "Monkeys Jumping On The Bed" the song ends after the first monkey falls off the bed and hurts his head. She figured the other monkeys, hearing the doctor say "no more monkeys jumping on the bed, would heed the sage advice of the doctor and learn from the mistake of the first monkey.

P.S.- Don Firth - We have a female TV reporter by the name of Blue Rolfes - this has always sounded to me like a wonderful name for a venereal disease.

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 25 Jun 03 - 05:52 AM

A very good friend of mine learns songs from CDs.

So far we have had Candle in the Wind ending with the immortal line "For the fifth hour, Marilyn Munroe"

And in Good Old Boys Like Me we have
"those Williams boys they still mean a lot to me, Thankyou Tennessee"

Kris

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Barb'ry
Date: 24 Jun 03 - 05:47 PM

Constantly cocking up a line in 'Bold Poachers' and sing 'a-firing at the peasants' instead of pheasants! Trouble is that everyone notices and the rest of the song (which I usually get right) is drowned by totally unsympathetic laughter!