Worst pop song ever!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 12:34 PM

You all seem very unforgiving is all. Back during the summer of '97, just before I started college, I used to sit an play computers games all day, while listening to the radio. What where the big songs? Semi-Charmed Life; If You Could Only See; Two Become One; Koko Jambo; Don't Speak; Push; Hard To Say; I Wanna Be There...etc. I'd hear these songs day after day, sometimes more than twice a day. And you know what? I may have gotten tired of them, but I could listen to them all right now and be nothing but happy. And I'm a pop/rock lover. So you folks either must REALLY hold a grudge, or somehow you folkies where exposed to pop music WAAAAY more than a junkie like me, which kind of says what about your folkie-status?

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 12:25 PM

Hey guys, it's not Meebo, it's Em-Bo, right? Confirm this please, Mbo. Now don't think us old folkies are a heartless bunch. There are quite a few songs I get weepy over...they just have to be up to a certain standard, that's all. Maybe we should launch a string on "Songs that make me cry".

If you like "Patches" and "Teen Angel", hey...that's fine with me. My friend John Ashe, who's an old folkie if ever there was one (although he's somewhat to the right of Jesse Helms) loves those songs.

We is just havin' some fun here, that's all.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 11:47 AM

It's BEEN started, Ted. What do you think I'm doing while I'm on Mudcat? Twiddling my thumbs? HOMEWORK.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: M.Ted
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 11:46 AM

When does school start again, Meebo? You need something to do.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 10:35 AM

For a bunch folky ex-hippies who extol the peace love and kindness message, you all seems to have a great capacity for hatred.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 10:29 AM

It's ALL good to me.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: The Lighthouse
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 10:26 AM

Oh I hate "Patches" and "Last Kiss" and "Teen Angel" and "Tell Laura I Love Her" - how drippy and sappy can writers get out there anyway? Sad part is - we all know these songs! Yuck!

Subject: Lyr Add: PATCHES (Clarence Carter)
From: Mbo
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 10:09 AM

This is Patches, by Clarence.

PATCHES
Clarence Carter

SPOKEN:
I was born and raised down in Alabama
On a farm way back up in the woods.
I was so ragged, the folks used call me Patches.
Papa used to tease me about it,
But deep down inside,
He was hurt because he done all he could do.

My papa was a great old man.
I can see him with a shovel in his hand digging.
Education he never had,
But he did wonders when the time got bad.
A little money from the crops he raised
Helped pay the bills we made.

For months, he'd been sick and down in the dumps.
When he tried to get up, life would kick him back down.
One day, papa called me to his dyin' bed,
Put his hands on my shoulders and in tears he said:
"Patches, I'm depending on you, son,
To pull the family through.
My son, it's all left up to you."

SPOKEN:
Two days later, Papa passed away.
I became a man that day,
So I told mama I was gonna quit school,
But she said that was Daddy's strictest rule.
So every morning before I went to school,
I fed the chickens and I chopped wood too.
Sometimes I felt that I couldn't go on.
I wanted to leave and run away from home,
But I would remember what my Daddy said
With tears in his eyes on his dyin' bed:
He said, "Patches, I'm depending on you, son,
To pull the family through.
My son, it's all left up to you."

SPOKEN:
Then one day, a strong rain came
And washed all the crops away,
And at the age of thirteen, I thought I was carrying
The weight of the whole world on my shoulders.
And you know, mama knew what I was going through,
'Cause every day I had to work the fields,
'Cause that's the only way we got our meals.
You see, I was the oldest of a family,
And everybody else depended on me.
Every night I heard my Mama pray:

"Lord, give him the strength to face another day."
Though years have passed and all the kids have grown,
And the angels took Mama to a brand new home,
But no, people, I never quit.
My daddy's voice still rings through the fields,
Sayin', "Patches, I'm depending on you, son,
To pull the family through.
My son, it's all left up to you.
Patches, I'm depending on you, son."

Clarence sings it with such emotion, I get a lump in my throat whenever I hear it. I also like it because it's about black folks, not the usual white trash.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 10:00 AM

Well Troll, looks like you don't have to! Seems the "Patches" by Clarence Carter that I love is not the same as yours. This is a soul classic from the late 60's. Little Hawk, my favorite singer? Jeff Lynne!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Morticia
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 09:37 AM

Oh Lord......I've just remembered " Long haired Lover from Liverpool" and " Ag-a-do".......now I really feel sick .....thank God I'm off to a folk festival where the worst that's likely to be inflicted on me is "Waxies Dargle".........

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: celticblues5
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 09:25 AM

OK, if we can submit 'modern' songs (eg, the thong song), how about the classic, "I like big butts & I cannot lie?"

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Troll
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 09:23 AM

Little Hawk: Firecat didn't mention "Patches", I did.

Meebo: SURELY you don't mean "Patches my darling of old shanty-town"? Please tell me it's some other "Patches" or I shall have to make a drastic revision in my opinion of your intelligence, maturity, and taste in general. Not that it's all that great as it is. >BG<

troll

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 01:35 AM

Just a joke, Firecat. No cause for concern. It's an "in" joke for the Orillia, Ontario crowd, that's all.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: P05139
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 01:27 AM

Little Hawk, why had I better hide?!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Bugsy
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 01:25 AM

Seasons In The Sun, was written by Belgium Singer/Songwriter Jaques Brel. The original is a wonderful song. There was an OK version done by Rod McKewan. It went down hill from there on.

CHeers

Bugsy

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: RWilhelm
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 01:08 AM

"You're So Vain" (clouds in my coffee, clouds in my coffee)

btw "Black Betty" (bam ba lam) was originally a Leadbelly song.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 01:03 AM

John Ashe (known around here as "Johhny Death" for his love of songs with death in them) also LOVES "Patches". Ooooo...you're in big trouble now, FIRECAT! I'd find a good hiding place if I were you.

I've got no strong opinion either way.

Who's your all time favourite singer, Mbo?

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 12:56 AM

Oh no! Not "Patches" by Clarence Carter? That's an AMAZING SONG!!! It was actually written by The Chairmen of The Board. Clarence & The Chairmen are really big here in Eeastern NC. They perform in my town all the time. Long live Carolina Beach Music!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: P05139
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 12:43 AM

DON'T KNOCK SEASONS IN THE SUN!!!! Mind you, I've not heard the original and I'm basing my support for it on the Westlife Version that was Christmas and Millennium Number One over here. It was also Number One for my 16th birthday along with thier version of I Have A Dream!

Mind you, Sisqo's "Thong Song" is total rubbish. He can take his thong, th-thong, thong, thong and stick it!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST, Banjo Johnny
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 12:37 AM

These threads give us a chance to blow off steam harmlessly.

Let me add "Send in the Clowns" ... it makes NO SENSE whatsoever, out of context with the show.

And tho' I'm a Democrat, I'm getting pret-ty tired of "Don't -- Stop -- Thinkinabout Tomorrow". (Note to Brits and Euros: it's Bill Clinton's hook.)

== Johnny in Oklahoma City

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Troll
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 12:28 AM

My vote is split between "Tell Laura I Love Her" and "Patches".

Back off Meebo. Us geezers use threads like this to re-live the old days. You will notice that no one dissed ELO and as for Tom Paxton, I don't really have a favorite. I like all his work.

And I'll say so on the proper thread thereby bringing the total to 17 hits.

So how 'bout it ladies and gents (you too Spaw)? Lets all hit the Paxton thread and show Mbo that we,too, can be socially aware!

troll

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 12:24 AM

Now don't begrudge us our fun, Mbo. I have had a slight sore throat for a day and a half now (happens occasionally), so I went to bed at 5 pm today, instead of going out to see Rick Kane sing at Finnegan's...but I couldn't resist getting back up at midnight to check this thread. I don't actually know very many Tom Paxton songs. I could start a similar thread (favourite song of...) for Dylan or Buffy Sainte-Marie, I suppose. Maybe I will presently.

Hesperis - you should've been at song circle about 4 months ago. Seems to me that John Ashe sang "Teen Angel" in a particularly heart-rending version, taking the occasional VICIOUS swipe at his guitar strings at unexpected moments. I think he was serious. He likes (loves) songs about tragic death on the highway...or anywhere else, for that matter. Too bad ya missed it. He does another one called "Wreck On The Highway", but it's a lot older and more traditional sounding...must be by Woody Guthrie or Jimmie Rodgers one of those guys from back then.

How about "It's My Party And I'll Cry If I Want To"? Excuse my dignifying it with capitals...

How about "Seasons In The Sun" by Terry Jacks? Or anything whatsoever by Three Jacks And A Jill?

As for "My Heart Will Go On", I was astonished to hear 3 young Cuban girls sing it one day...in English. They are not immune to the power of North American media there, although they get a whole lot less of it than we do. It was kind of sweet the way they did the song, but that was different down there. Now that I'm back in Canada I can definitely do without hearing it again.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: M.Ted
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 12:23 AM

English lyrics to "My Way" were written by Paul Anka, music by Jacques Revaux. Also, apparently, "Timothy" was written by Rupert Holmes, giving him an honorable mention here, with two songs.

Incidentally, that "Black Betty" is a reworking of an old prison song, "Black Betty" being the name of the transfer wagon that took prisoners to the pennitentiary. "Black Betty's in the bottom, let your hammer ring".

My references on these items are: for lyrics, "Who Wrote That Song" by Dick Jacobs, Betterway Publications, 1988, and for Black Betty, "The Land Where Blues Began" by our own, beloved, Alan Lomax, Delta, 1993.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 11:36 PM

So, this is the future of Mudcat? We've abandoned all the "I like" threads, and now all we have is "I hate 'x' kind of music" or "Worst 'x' song". This thread has been running for 2 days, and has 116 posts. The "What's Your Favorite Tom Paxton Song?" has been up a few hours and has 9 posts. I think I know where this place is going.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 11:28 PM

You do know that a Black Betty is a landmine, don't you? It's also known as a Bouncing Betty.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: jamesohill
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 11:25 PM

HAW! this is fun! and painful! My god, I remember almost all of them mentioned so far and am filled with the disturbing urge to learn them and inflict them on innocent friends--AH-HAA-HA-HA-HA!

I'd like to second "Chirpy-chirpy Cheep-cheep" I remember thinking that song was stupid when I was about 8 years old, and it's held up very well. Also, in the sub-category of Actually Offensive stupid pop songs, I'd like to nominate "Black Betty", by the mercifully defunct Ram Jam, from some time in the late 70's.

something like: [drums-n-bass] oh-oh black betty, blam-ba-lam, she's always ready, blam-ba-lam (no, really, i'm not kidding) born in birmingham, blam-ba-lam, way down in Alabam', blam-ba-lam oh-oh black betty! [catchy distorted guitar riff] black betty had a child, blam-ba-lam th' damn thing gone wild, blam-ba-lam gone out of her mind, blam-ba-lam, the damn thing gone blind, blam-ba lam oh-oh black betty! [more metal riffage] etc, etc.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 10:39 PM

Um, actually, "My Way" is French. And you're right Bugsy. "Born In The USA" never struck me as that interesting. I like "Glory Days" better.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: SINSULL
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 10:34 PM

Coming back or regurgitating?

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Bugsy
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 10:33 PM

"BOOOOOOOORN IN THE U. S. A.! I was, BOOOOOOOORN IN THE U. S. A!"

YUK!!!!!!!

Bugsy

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: hesperis
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 10:32 PM

Yeah, "teen angel" sucks! You can't even have fun makin' fun o'that one.

Me and my mother used to have soooo much fun singing the awful chick songs from the 50s & 60s.
We'd sing em in a totally saccharine tone, and crack up laughing halfway through. Stuff like leader of the pack, be my baby, my boyfriend's back, chapel of love, the boy from new york city... (I have decided not to dignify these horrible songs with Title Case Capitals.)

Does anyone have a good version of the "laundry" parody of "my boyfriend's back" - please post?

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: M.Ted
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 10:25 PM

Edith Piaf was accompanied by the inimitable "Les Compagnons de la Chanson" on her 1946 recording of "Les Trois Cloches"(The Three Bells).Have you all forgotten "Les Compagnons" French version of "Down By the Riverside"? It deserves some mention as an example of ersatz folk kitsch.

Incidentally, "Havin' My Baby", "One Man Woman" and "My Way" were all written by the obviously gifted Paul Anka-- he has the knack to keep us comin' back!

Subject: Lyr Add: FEELINGS (Morris Albert)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 09:58 PM

I think I ought to post the lyrics to "Feelings," just so you all know how absolutely horrible this song is (although MacArthur Park comes a close second)
-Joe Offer-

---

Feelings
(Music & Lyrics : Morris Albert)

Feelings, nothing more than feelings,
trying to forget my feelings of love.
Teardrops rolling down on my face,
trying to forget my feelings of love.

Feelings, for all my life I'll feel it.
I wish I've never met you, girl; you'll never come again.

Feelings, wo-o-o feelings,
wo-o-o, feel you again in my arms.

Feelings, feelings like I've never lost you
and feelings like I've never have you again in my heart.

Feelings, for all my life I'll feel it.
I wish I've never met you, girl; you'll never come again.

Feelings, feelings like I've never lost you
and feelings like I've never have you again in my life.

Feelings, wo-o-o feelings,
wo-o-o, feelings again in my arms.
Feelings...(repeat & fade)

---

Anybody remember when AT&T picked this as their theme song for an ad campaign? Need I say more?

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 09:50 PM

Actually, the song is called "Escape".

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: gillymor
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 09:49 PM

Play Spirit in the Sky for John Lee Hooker and then try to tell him that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.And Mbo, if you ever did hear "Feelings" I have no doubt you'd love it *g*.

F

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: richlmo
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 09:45 PM

Do You Like Pina Coladas by whoever the Hell that was!! Really makes me want to heave when I hear it.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 09:21 PM

YEP! I love Donovan! Sunshine Superman rocks!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,Pork Belly
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 09:03 PM

How about Donovan? Sunshine Superman? Oh, now someone is gonna say, "But I LIKE Donovan."

Dumbest lyric: How about Neil Diamond "No one heard at all, not even the chair."

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: celticblues5
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 08:52 PM

Oooooooooooh, my, sooooooooooo much dreck to choose from. I'd have to agree with 99.999% of the above-mentioned. But how can everyone overlooked "You Light Up My Life" by the inimitable Debbie Boone (dau. of Pat)?

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Shanti
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 08:39 PM

Yes! DougR...that's the name of the song! Always hated it...from the first time I heard it. Almost as much as I hated Havin' My Baby! YUCH!!!!!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 08:00 PM

We used to sing 'now the chapel lead is missing....'.. it went on into a whole verse, but how about Grocer Jack then? That was nauseating = a song about an old guy having a heart attack and all the villagers moaning because they couldn't get their tea or butter!!

LTS

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,Blackjack
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 06:49 PM

From a musical perspective, probably the worst ,most grating pop tune ever for me is that gawdawful "We Built this City on Rock and Roll" by Jefferson Starship. It sounds like they got up one morning and had a meeting with the record company execs and decided that they were writing a tribute to rock by noon no matter what. While on a break, one of them passed a tv and subconsciously picked up the riff to a breakfast cereal advertisement for children. Because they were all so uninspired that morning, this spot (played on a seemingly endless loop) ended up being their song.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,Merlin
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 06:11 PM

How about the theam to Titanic, "My Heart Will Go On"? That song sucked! Actually, a friend of mine did a funny parody by changing the h in heart to f, and removing the e, but never mind.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 06:01 PM

Another nomination! And a "shrine" web site to go with it!

It's "Three Bells", a hit by "The Browns" in 1959.

(Bung, bung, bung, bung)
All the chapel bells were ringing
In the little valley town
And the song that they were singing
Was for baby Jimmy Brown …

By the way, one of the web sites I found indicated that the original version was in French, and had been sung by Edith Piaf. Nana Mouskouri also recorded it.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Jim Krause
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 05:13 PM

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! :-{}

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 05:02 PM

Oh! Oh! You are so, so cruel. How can you badmouth a work of genius like McArthur Park? No song (except possibly "Gates Of Eden"...) has reached such levels of metaphorical magnificence as McArthur Park. And in so few words.

It's not about a cake, you Philistines! It's about a relationship. A really deep one. You know, like when the limousine driver in Spinal Tap is talking about Sinatra...("When you've loved and lost like Frank has...") That kind of deep. The kind that gets a guy to write a song like "My Way". Ouch.

"I don't think that I can take it
Cos it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Ohhhh, NOOOOO...."

What could be deeper and more metaphorical than that?

Lest I lose the spirit of this thread, I wish to contribute another truly annoying song that just won't go away! Murray McLauglin's "The Farmer Song". "Straw hat and dirty old..."

He should be keelhauled for recording that one.

'Nuff said.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Morticia
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 04:15 PM

Hang on......hasn't anyone nominated 'Leader of the Pack' yet??? Come on guys, you're just not trying! I met him in a candy store You get the picture? Yes, we see That's when I fell for the leader of the pack (Blurp)I hope someone is going to supply bisodol with this thread, my stomach hurts.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Jim Krause
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 04:05 PM

My nomination has to be for McArthur Park. I nominate this one for its mixed metaphors, bad metaphors
Some one left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took too long to bake it
And I'll never have the receipe again
Oh no
OH YUCK! Soddy

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 04:01 PM

That awful one by the Bells. I think it was called "I think I'm going to stay with you awhile"

The chorus was: "how he makes me quiver, how he makes me smile, with al the love I have to give him, I guess I'm gonna stay with him awhile" Yuch.

My kids are Britney Spears fans, they played me her cover of the Rolling Stones classic 'Satisfaction' the other day. Bloody Awful!!!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Diva
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 04:00 PM

Shuddupa your face Joe Dolce. I have a notion that the worst records compilation has been done and recently.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Max
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 03:42 PM

I'm Too Sexy... For The Mudcat.