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What is the worst song you ever heard?2

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Mr Happy 10 Sep 02 - 08:13 AM
Memphis Mud 10 Sep 02 - 08:22 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Sep 02 - 08:44 AM
Mr Happy 10 Sep 02 - 08:52 AM
Bull Am 10 Sep 02 - 08:52 AM
Bobert 10 Sep 02 - 08:55 AM
Mr Happy 10 Sep 02 - 09:06 AM
belfast 10 Sep 02 - 09:32 AM
Mr Happy 10 Sep 02 - 09:37 AM
Allan Dennehy 10 Sep 02 - 10:38 AM
Rick Fielding 10 Sep 02 - 10:52 AM
Pseudolus 10 Sep 02 - 10:52 AM
Jerry Rasmussen 10 Sep 02 - 11:27 AM
pattyClink 10 Sep 02 - 02:29 PM
Nerd 10 Sep 02 - 03:16 PM
GUEST,Fred Miller 10 Sep 02 - 03:17 PM
Mudlark 10 Sep 02 - 03:41 PM
Little Hawk 10 Sep 02 - 05:15 PM
greg stephens 10 Sep 02 - 06:13 PM
Steve Latimer 10 Sep 02 - 07:24 PM
Bill D 10 Sep 02 - 07:26 PM
Murray MacLeod 10 Sep 02 - 07:30 PM
GUEST,Just Amy 10 Sep 02 - 07:32 PM
Mickey191 10 Sep 02 - 08:56 PM
GUEST,Walking Eagle 10 Sep 02 - 09:39 PM
GUEST,yum yum 10 Sep 02 - 09:48 PM
Don Firth 10 Sep 02 - 09:54 PM
Bert 10 Sep 02 - 10:12 PM
Midchuck 10 Sep 02 - 11:05 PM
Allan Dennehy 10 Sep 02 - 11:18 PM
richlmo 10 Sep 02 - 11:39 PM
SlickerBill 10 Sep 02 - 11:49 PM
leprechaun 11 Sep 02 - 12:04 AM
JJ 11 Sep 02 - 12:11 AM
Benjamin 11 Sep 02 - 02:52 AM
Mr Happy 11 Sep 02 - 03:00 AM
Murray MacLeod 11 Sep 02 - 03:06 AM
GUEST,MC Fat 11 Sep 02 - 04:57 AM
McGrath of Harlow 11 Sep 02 - 05:46 AM
Deni 11 Sep 02 - 06:25 AM
GUEST,Music Critic 11 Sep 02 - 07:36 AM
GUEST,Another Music Critic 11 Sep 02 - 07:59 AM
JudeL 11 Sep 02 - 08:22 AM
Mr Happy 11 Sep 02 - 09:19 AM
songs2play 11 Sep 02 - 09:42 AM
Art Thieme 11 Sep 02 - 11:27 AM
GUEST,boromir 11 Sep 02 - 11:41 AM
Rick Fielding 11 Sep 02 - 11:44 AM
Kim C 11 Sep 02 - 11:51 AM
Don Firth 11 Sep 02 - 12:01 PM
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Venthony 11 Sep 02 - 04:37 PM
GUEST,Just Amy 11 Sep 02 - 06:22 PM
Mr Happy 11 Sep 02 - 08:29 PM
gwonya 11 Sep 02 - 09:25 PM
Leo Condie 11 Sep 02 - 09:32 PM
Amergin 11 Sep 02 - 09:36 PM
Steve Latimer 11 Sep 02 - 10:18 PM
Morgan 11 Sep 02 - 10:27 PM
Benjamin 11 Sep 02 - 10:36 PM
mg 12 Sep 02 - 12:44 AM
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John P 12 Sep 02 - 01:30 AM
Nerd 12 Sep 02 - 01:32 AM
Janice in NJ 12 Sep 02 - 07:16 AM
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Little Hawk 12 Sep 02 - 11:57 AM
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Subject: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Mr Happy
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 08:13 AM

can't do bloo clikys. this ia continuation of 'What is the worst song you ever heard?'

one of the worst songs i ever heard-a big hit in uk in 1970s- 'grandad we love you'.

another all-time non favourite:'nobody's child'

more?


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Memphis Mud
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 08:22 AM

Sorry about that, I'm used to my Sailing Forum where you have to click the button to compose your message.

The worst I ever heard? Don't know the name, but some lyrics: "I love little baby ducks, walking barefoot in the mud, trucks...and IIIIIIII loooooooove yuuuuuuuu!"

(the only words I can swear to are the little baby ducks...the rest is not far from the jist of the tune)


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 08:44 AM

Memphis Mud - That's a Tom T. Hall song and, yes, it does suck canal water, particularly considering that the guy wrote some excellent songs ("Old Dogs, Children & Watermelon Wine" "The Year That Clayton Delaney Died").

My nomination: A tie between "Achey, Breaky Heart" and "Bubba Shot the Jukebox".

Bruce


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Mr Happy
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 08:52 AM

i just rembered the name of who sang the grandad song. it was clive dunn 9(corporal jones in dad's army]


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Bull Am
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 08:52 AM

Anything by Kylie Manogue (sp?) na na na na na na na na na na na Grrrrrrr.....


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Bobert
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 08:55 AM

"May the Bird of Paradise Fly up Your Nose" comes to mind.

Rhen there was one about some guy crying over a cake that took so long to make,,, Yeah, that one was a real stinker.

Then Bobby Goldsboro's "Honey"... Phew...

Man, I could have gone all day without thinking of those dongs...

Danged you, Mr. Happy, I'm gonna be hearing these in my head all day...

Bobert


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Mr Happy
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 09:06 AM

dongs??


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: belfast
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 09:32 AM

"Grandad ..." A dreadful song certainly. And it seems so unlikely that one of the writers was Herbie Flowers who played the bass-line (double tracking on electric bass and double bass) for Lou Reed's "Walk on the Wild Side". You can be associated with both the coolest and the geekiest.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Mr Happy
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 09:37 AM

I?


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Allan Dennehy
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 10:38 AM

Who sang Daddy don't you walk so far? I wish he'd walked further..............


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 10:52 AM

Wayne Newton sang "Daddy...."

Hi Bobert, I have to agree with you about "Honey". But of course to millions that song meant a huge amount. They cried, they laughed......they made Bobby Goldsboro rich. Guess we're just a tad too cynical to get it's poigniant beauty!

Considering that when I used to sing in bars I DID actually do Feelings, Tie a Yellow Ribbon, and Gawd Didn't Make Little Green Apples......it's a miracle I DIDN'T sing Honey!

Cheers

Rick

On the other hand......the absolute worst (by an artist who should have known better)

MY DING A LING!!!!


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Pseudolus
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 10:52 AM

I think it was Daddy don't you walk so fast and it was Wayne Newton....I'm so ashamed that I knew that......damn!

Frank


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 11:27 AM

Bobby Goldsboro had sappy down pat. Watching Scotty Grow was equally saccharine. But then, he did record Little Things, which Bob Dylan did a little bit of on piano in a documentary many years ago.

Jerry


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: pattyClink
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 02:29 PM

Getting back to the trad sphere: I think Romanoff wrote the execrable "Hats off to old folks" but it still is in a dead heat with "Rambling Rover" (the one which contains the word 'colitis'. Can anyone break the tie?

And I'll buy that TTH's "I love you too" is a horrible closing line but I don't think the song rises to horrible, because there are good evocative lines in it, and sheer poetry in that part about 'Sunday school in May, and onions."


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Nerd
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 03:16 PM

The song about the cake in Bobert's post was, of course, "MacArthur Park," sung by Richard Harris in its first hit version:

Someone Left the Cake out in the Rain... ...I don't think that I can TAKE it 'cause it took so long to BAKE it and I'll never have that recipe again. Oh, Nooooooooooo!

After Dave Barry's readers picked this as one of the worst ever, some irate fan wrote in and explained that the cake was a METAPHOR. To which DB replied that that was true but it's what we writers call a "really, really stupid metaphor!"


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Fred Miller
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 03:17 PM

Jerry, I think in the documentary Don't Look Back it was actually whatshisname, the Animals keyboard guy who sang Little Things, maybe Dylan on piano? I remember that guy doing a "human sloth" slow-motion imitation with it.

Worst song ever written is a number of "young girl get out of my mind, my love for you is waay out of line" songs by a variety of people. Sting did one. Another goes "if I could fly, I'd lift you up, and take you into the night" etc, which transcends the genre by also being a "I can fly" song.

One of Bob Seeger's songs about strippers gets honorable mention for the lines They love to watch her strut they do respect her ( ,?) but they love to watch her strut


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Mudlark
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 03:41 PM

Have to agree with Honey. Back in the 60's the Smothers Bros. did a wonderful parody of the song on their TV show, sentimentally walking thru a schmatzy "set" with TV camera while singing the song. Along the same lines, Ruby, Don't Take Yer Love to Town, old whatsisname's raspy voice and all, is a close second. And in a sessions type group I always cringe when someone suggests Blowin' in the Wind.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 05:15 PM

Man, we've been down this road a few times...and the same stinkers come up again, and again, and again, and again...

Nothing lasts like a really BAAAAAD odor.

I nominate "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" (Rod Stewart) and "You And Me Against The World" (Helen Reddy) and "I've Never Been To Me" (Charlene? or?) and "Havin' My Baby" (Paul Anka) and "People" (Barbra Streisand).

- LH


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: greg stephens
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 06:13 PM

Well Ive said it before, and I'll say it again. The Streets of London, by miles.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 07:24 PM

Loving You (is easy 'cause you're beautiful), Minnie Ripperton.

Muskrat Love, the Captain & Tenille. Shannon (is gone again, she's drifting out to sea). Henry Gross

After the Lovin', Englebert Humperdink.

Tiny Bubbles, Don Ho.

Indiana Want Me (?). Rick I liked My Ding a Ling, but I was about 12 when it came out. Not only was it the frist Chuck Berry song that I heard, it was his only #1 Hit.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 07:26 PM

greg!!!----can't I show you something that'll make you change your mind? *grin*


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 07:30 PM

I cannot see why "Rambling Rover" should be mentioned in the same breath as some of the others on this thread.

Bloody good song, cleverly rhymed, and so what if it does mention "colitis"?

Murray


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Just Amy
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 07:32 PM

I have a funny story about this. My father was an attorney in a very small town. One of the guys in town hired him to copyright a couple of songs the man had written. He took his songs to Nashville and paid to have some professionals record them for him. He then pressed singles (okay it was the late 50's or early 60's) and tried to sell them. However, they were the worst songs you have ever heard. The A side was "That Pill Pushin' Nurse." I (thankfully) forget the B side, but I suppose my mother still has it in the basement. These songs were bad. The lines didn't scan and nothing rhymed.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Mickey191
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 08:56 PM

Title- "I just can't let you say goodbye." You can't leave so please don't try - Flesh around your throat-indented by my fingernails. It is the creepiest song I've ever heard. Covered by Willie Nelson. Don't know who wrote this gem.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Walking Eagle
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 09:39 PM

Okie from Muskogee by I forget!

Don't be Badderly by Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr. from Robin and the Seven Hoods.

For that matter, A LOT of musical movie songs!


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,yum yum
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 09:48 PM

To be honest 'anything' that gets aired on radio today. The modern 'garage' or what ever it's called has nothing going for it. (and to think my mother used to put the Beatles and Rolling Stones down) How about 'Little Arrows', 'The Deck of Card', Who Let the Dogs Out', Jeezas you could fill your hard drive and still go out and buy another stick of memory. Can any of these new (manufactured) bands come up with an original song nowadays.

yum yum


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Don Firth
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 09:54 PM

(Got to agree with GUEST,yum yum, here)

I can't recall who did it, but a record that showed up in the late Fifties or early Sixties had to be right up there on the stinker index. Thank you, dear God, for victory in Korea.

I was never able to determine if this was a serious song or some kind of parody.

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Bert
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 10:12 PM

Gawd, you guys have never belonged to a songwriters' club;-)


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Midchuck
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 11:05 PM

Kinky Friedman would win easily, except he was doing it on purpose, so maybe that doesn't count...

There was a rumor, about a tumor
nestled at the base of his brain.
He was sittin' up there with his .36 magnum,
Laughing wildly as he bagged 'em.
Who are we to say the boy's insane?"

- "The Ballad of Charles Whitman"


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Allan Dennehy
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 11:18 PM

What a great thread! Now I remember why I had a miserable childhood.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: richlmo
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 11:39 PM

I have a song ( and I use the term song very loosely ) to add. My 12 year old is listening to it every time I walk by his room. By Eminem or whatever the white rapper's name is. Something about ," Sorry Momma". I can't stand it!!


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: SlickerBill
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 11:49 PM

For me it's "Seasons in the Sun" by...agh! can't think of the guy right now. Canadian I'm sad to say. It's got a chorus like this: We had joy we had fun We had seasons in the sun But the hills that we climbed Were just (something somethingsomething)

With just the most unbelievably horrible treakle of a melody, HOLY SHIT it's a bad song!!!! And of course it went number 1 in Canada the year it came out, so what does that tell you.

Amen to the Kyley Minogue rot. "na na na" indeed. Now why didn't I think of thast line???? SB


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: leprechaun
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 12:04 AM

Apparently none of you folks are wasting any time listening to contemporary "music," and that's fortunate for you. But except for the Eminem song, none of the stinkers mentioned so far can even campare in stinkiness to most of the (C)rap, heavy metal and techno vomit our kids listen to every day.


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Subject: Lyr Add: SEASONS IN THE SUN (Brel, McKuen)
From: JJ
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 12:11 AM

You are speaking of Rod McKuen's "Seasons in the Sun," his adaptation of a Jacques Brel song. (I think it was better in French.) As sung by the Canadian Terry Jacks, it sold 11.5 million copies.

And where did Terry Jacks get the song? From the Kingston Trio!

Adieu, Emile, my trusted friend,
We've known each other since we were nine or ten.
Together we climbed hills and trees,
Learned of love and A B Cs,
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees.
Adieu, Emile, it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky. Now
That the spring is in the air
Pretty girls are ev'rywhere.
Think of me and I'll be there.

CHORUS: We had joy. We had sun.
We had seasons in the sun,
But the hills we would climb
Were just seasons out of time.

Adieu, Papa, please pray for me.
I was the black sheep of the family.
You tried to teach me right from wrong.
Too much wine and too much song,
Wonder how we got along.
Adieu, Papa, it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky.
Now that the spring is in the air
Little children ev'rywhere.
When you see them, I'll be there.

Chorus

Adieu, Francoise, my trusted wife,
Without you, I'd have had a lonely life.
You cheated lots of times but then,
I forgave you in the end
Though your lover was my friend.
Adieu, Francoise, it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky.
Now that spring is in the air
With your lovers ev'rywhere;
Just be careful, I'll be there.

All our lives we had fun.
We had seasons in the sun,
But the hills we would climb
Were just season out of time.

Adieu, Emile. Adieu, Papa. Adieu, Francoise.

All our lives, we had fun.
We had seasons in the sun,
But the hills that we climbed
Were just seasons out of time.
All our lives, we had fun.
We had seasons in the sun,
But the stars we could reach
Were just starfish on the beach.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Benjamin
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 02:52 AM

I would have to agree with just about anything on pop radio (or MTV) these days. Then there is Yum Yum Yum! Ace of Bass had some HORIBLE stuff! Who let the dogs out? had to be worst attempt at putting hype behind sports teams.

Rick, I'm not so sure I can agree about My Ding-A-Ling! It use to go over very well for me.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Mr Happy
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 03:00 AM

and then there's the eurovision 'song' contest!

boom bang a bang.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 03:06 AM

"Okie from Muskogee" is a great song, Walking Eagle, by the great Merle Haggard, who would be incapable of writing a bad song if he tried.

The whole point of the song is that it is tongue-in cheek ....

Murray


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 04:57 AM

'As soon as I hang up the Phone' by Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty was particulary crass. It started with a phone ring and Loreeta answers singing 'Darling I Kneeew It was Yeeew , Oh Pleeese Tell Mee What to Dooo, You' gave the will the go on etc etc etc. Conway answers the questions talking on the other end of the phone. When he dumps her at the end full of really schmalty Loretta singing 'Oh No's' then the line goes dead. On the Kinky Friedman front he did a version of 'Okie' which went' I'm just an asshole from El Paso'


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 05:46 AM

Here's a link to Jacques Brel's Le Moribond, which is the song that was butchered to make Seasons in the Sun. All about this dying man saying goodbye to his loved ones.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Deni
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 06:25 AM

Can you hear the guns Fernando? I remember long ago another starry night like this, in the firelight Fernando you were humming to yourself and softly strumming your guitar

etc....

Truly dodgy, but I admit I did like the voice of the singer and loved the accent....and it was great for take-offs at parties, long before Karaoke ever came to the UK.

Tie a Yellow Ribbon Billy Don't be a Hero

and most of the songs mentioned above... But I bet all these songwriters made a fortune. Lots of poeple must have bought the records.

d


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Music Critic
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 07:36 AM

There were two horendous singers from Doncaster & Hull called Lynn & Roz they did an terrible song they had written about Whitby Folk Week and insisted on playing it every available time. only matched by two of their other magnus opuses the worst song about Scotland ever written and a terrible song about Doolin in Ireland


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Another Music Critic
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 07:59 AM

Yeah I've heard them !! 'Let's sing a song an Irish Song diddley diddle dum dum dee' Twee or what !!


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: JudeL
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 08:22 AM

Two from fairly recent popular culture, a truely toe curling one that was around about 2 years ago something about "picking up the phone" which had an intensly irritating background of a ring-tone as part of what I hesitatingly call the "music " element of the soundtrack, also there was another one around at about the same time that appeared to include a scream of rage from a "female" (although it sounded far more animal in origin) who is complaining in the song about being badly treated by her (now) ex-lover.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Mr Happy
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 09:19 AM

all time classic, 'long haired lover from liverpool':little jimmy osmond. a truly crap song by the only one who couldn't sing.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: songs2play
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 09:42 AM

Cinderella Rockerfella (Ester and Abi Offarim), can there be any doubt that this single is the most obnoxious song ever released.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Art Thieme
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 11:27 AM

"Waltzing With Bears"-----------UNLESS it was done by Jim Ringer and Mary McCaslin as if the singer was a dirty old man reprobate not very far removed from clergy child molesters. Their doing of it in 100 degree heat at Rockford Illinois some years ago was the best I'd ever heard it done.

Art Thieme


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,boromir
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 11:41 AM

Sorry about this folks but the all time winner is

It's a Small World


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 11:44 AM

Lord Gawd...I'd FORGOTTEN "Waltzing with Bears" Art! (even done by you!!)

Hey Steve Latimer, of COURSE you loved "Your Ding a Ling" when you were twelve!

Cheers

Rick


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Kim C
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 11:51 AM

Hey Baby I'm Your Telephone Man

Brand New Key

I'm going to disagree on contemporary music. I felt the same way until I heard David Gray, Sheryl Crow, and Train. If you take some time to shovel away the shit, you'll find a pony in there somewhere.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Don Firth
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 12:01 PM

A whole spate of "doo-wop" songs in the Fifties, in which the singer breaks out of the song to narrate a real tear-jerker, explaining what the song is all about. A particularly egregious one that spent a lot of time on the charts was Teen Angel. I friend of mine was moved to write a parody entitled Teen Leper. Part of the narration says, "My mom and dad didn't want me to go with her because she had leprosy. So I said, 'well, gee whiz, mom and dad! All teenagers have complexion problems. . . .'"

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Andy Leader
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 02:40 PM

"Jeremiah was a bullfrog.." etc. It's such nonsense, but it's catchy, which makes it all the more irritating.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: alinact
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 02:46 PM

JudeL

The second song you refer to may be "The Old Boiler". I can't think of the name of the group at the moment but I've got it at home, so I'll let you know. It's a typical boy meets girl/girl won't come across/boy gets rough/boy rapes girl song. The primordial scream at the end is self explanatory.

The record was released about 1981 and I bought it because I got the whisper that it was going to be banned (in Australia)as soon as it was released. I got to the record shop about 9.00AM and by 9.30 the powers that be had ordered it off the shelves.

Even by todays standards, it is fairly graphic.

Allan


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,mikey banjo
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 03:06 PM

For some reason I have always hated "Hot Corn Cold Corn bring along a demi john" I don't know why - it talks about my favorite things, moonshine, demi johns, and it even has my favorite chord progression (I-V)


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Venthony
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 04:37 PM

"Kiss Kiss Kiss" by the normally brilliant Gershwin brothers.

They were young and hungry and trying to write a hit -- and they certainly made up for this adolescent abomination later on.

For example -- and it's not exactly folk -- but with its complex swing rhythms and triple rhymes "Embraceable You" may well be the best pop song ever written.

So let us all forgive "Kiss" as a youthful exercise of genius learning its art.

Tony


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Just Amy
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 06:22 PM

Information: The song "Fernando" was recorded by Abba. It was actually written about Fernando "Pancho" Villa who was a Mexican Freedom fighter (as a side note - the Pancho Villa we know was really Doroteo Arango who took Villa name after he died). If you read the words now, perhaps the song will make more sense.

Of course any song sung by Mrs. Miller was ruined for all future singers.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Mr Happy
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 08:29 PM

'bimbo,bimbo,where ya gonna go e o, bimbo,bimbo,what ya gonna do e oo,bimbo,bimbo,does ya mommy know, yurr goin' down the road ta see a little girlio'- jim reeves.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: gwonya
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 09:25 PM

"Still have'nt found what I'm looking for" (or whatever it's called) by U2. Everytime I hear that annoying chorus I think it's been years and these guys still have not found whatever the hell they're looking for. Reminds me of that Marlboro guy who was always lost in the swamp walking beside his raft ...presuming he was looking for the way out that is.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Leo Condie
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 09:32 PM

Gwonya - you really must hear the band Negativland's song "U2"...if you dislike that U2 song as much as I do you'll certainly enjoy it!


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Amergin
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 09:36 PM

what about that classic Drop Kick Me Jesus Through The Goalposts of Life?


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 10:18 PM

Rick, touche.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Morgan
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 10:27 PM

"Raindrops keep falling on my head"

or how about that Christmas classic...

"Grandma got run over by a reindeer"


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Benjamin
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 10:36 PM

I remeber once hearing U2 cover dancing queen. I'm not sure if it's worse than the original, but mannn was it bad! Eddy Vedder has written some horrible lyrics.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: mg
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 12:44 AM

so far I like all of them better than Barrett's Privateers. Did anyone mention Muskrat Love? I even like that one better.

mg


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Nerd
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 01:16 AM

Somebody (maybe it was Dave Barry again) called "Muskrat Love" "a tender, poetic ballad about rodents having sex." Incredibly, it's true!

Wasn't there one by Tony Orlando about a man and woman who live in apartments that are one right above the other, in which the man asks the woman to declare her love by banging on the pipes? "bang three times if you love me, twice if the answer is no?" Some crap thing like that? Or am I just crazy...?

Okay, I've just found my copy of Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs. If you like this thread, you need this book. Of Seasons in the Sun, he says, "this is a song about a person who is dying, but not fast enough." Of "My Way" he says "the international anthem of drunken untalented businessmen in karaoke bars." Great stuff!

Has anyone mentioned "He Hit Me (and it felt like a kiss)" perhaps the most creepy and offensive love song ever written?


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: John P
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 01:30 AM

I've always considered "Honey" to be the worst ever song. But "It's a Small World", "Knock Three Times on the Ceiling If You Love Me", and "Tie a Yellow Ribbon 'Round the Old Oak Tree" are certainly contenders in my book. I'm surprised that no one has mentioned "Woman" by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap. "Woman, wo- wo- wo- woman, have you got cheating on your mind?" Gak.

JP


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Nerd
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 01:32 AM

That's the one, John! "knock three times on the ceiling if you love me." God, what crap!


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Janice in NJ
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 07:16 AM

Worst song? Bob Dylan's Just Like a Woman. What misogynist crap! All the runners up are also from the same gentleman*: Don't Think Twice, It Ain't Me Babe, Idiot Wind, and his gift to JB who adored him so much, Queen Jane Approximately.

*Note: a gentleman in this sense of the word is a guy who removes the dirty dishes before he pisses in the kitchen sink.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Kenyon
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 08:08 AM

Star-Crossed Lovers. The background singing makes crap lyrics crappier and then "dramatic" narration by a guy who sounds like Ted Kennedy tops it off. By the time the background singers sing, "They didn't see the on-coming car" you are dying of laughter.

Also, Oh, My Pappa was dreadful crap

Ironic by morissete also.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: John P
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 09:41 AM

Here's one that I used to enjoy the music to until I listened to the words: The Beatles, "Run For Your Life".

"Run for your life if you can, little girl. Hide your head in the sand, little girl. I catch you with another man, that's the end, little girl." How poignant.

Another bad song by great musicians: "Almost Cut My Hair" by Crosby, Stills and Nash.

John


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: gwonya
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 10:14 AM

I Am Woman by Helen Reddy. No offence ladies (Im a bit uncomfortable with Macho Man too). Anyone singing those songs would really scare me to the core. I


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: gwonya
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 10:16 AM

I'd just be really scared, I...I don't know what I'd do.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Fred Miller
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 10:40 AM

I posted Run for your life on a similar thread on another forum, remember hearing that Lennon always hated it.

My favorite remark from the Dave Barry book was the Beach Boys lyric from Help Me Rhonda; Since she put me down there's been owls puking in my bed. (It's actually "I've been out doin' in my head" but, even if you heard that right, how would you know?)

Which brings up Dylan--it seems silly to call any of those songs misogynist, as though they made any sort of lucid, pointed, sense, as though they were Rock Salt And Nails, or something like that. My only criticism is that he could've found more opportunities to use the word "babe" in It Ain't me, babe--"it ain't me, babe, that you, babe, are looking for. Babe."

Brand New Key was redeemed for me by it's use in Boogie Nights. Just as You Light Up My Life is redeemed by a scene in Happiness. It's worth having horrible songs if someone can use them to such effect.

I'm scared to admit I like some rap (whoops). It began as a folk music, though it's popularity largely bulldozed over the better part of it. Still, some of it is pretty darn good--especially the crowded, complex, multi-voiced stuff, and some of the techno-collage-aesthetic stuff is interesting.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: april skies
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 10:48 AM

Worst song ?? Dunno really, too many to choose from.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 11:57 AM

You've got a lot of nerve...Janice. It's a wonder that ya still know how t' breathe. I feel another song comin' on. A real nasty one. Go sit in a corner and paint yer toenails...babe. :-)

- LH


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 12:16 PM

I just remembered a very annoying and relentless one...

"My Baby Does The Hanky-Panky" Truly awful.

Did the same guys do "Little Red Riding Hood"? It was truly awful too.

It's true, of course, that most of the Rap and other crap around right now that teenagers are listening to is even worse, but I never listen to it except by accident for a second or two (when it's playing in a boom car or something), and due to that I can't name any of the tunes....

- LH


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Don Firth
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 12:18 PM

Just about anything by Neil Diamond if you make the mistake of listening to the words! Great stuff otherwise. But the words. . . !!

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 12:25 PM

Oh, Don, you heartless, cynical, misogynistic swine...you have just cut 800,000 lovelorn, lonely, housebound women to the quick!

- LH


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Don Firth
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 12:28 PM

Sorry. . . .

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 12:29 PM

My next door neighbours are wonderful people, we spend a lot of time with them. They're all excited that they're going to see Neil Diamond in a couple of weeks. Oh, the number of times I've bit my tongue.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 12:39 PM

Well, I guess as long as Neil makes them happy, he's doing his job. Consider purchasing a tongue protector in the meantime.

- LH


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,rich_and_dee
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 01:19 PM

"Hanky Panky" was recorded by Tommy James and the Shondells.

"Little Red Riding Hood" was recorded by Sam the Sham. I forget his backup band's name.

An oldies radio station latched onto some song from the early 70's which seems to be called "My Baby Loves Loving". Now, I may not be a perfect gentleman, but there are rules to how much you talk about, shall we use the word 'frequency' when you're in a somewhat serious relationship. This guy wrote a song about it. Besides, the song is plain bad.

Rich


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Kim C
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 01:35 PM

LH, Hanky-Panky has a good beat and you can dance to it.

Rich and Dee --- that would be Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs, who also brought us the immortally terrible "Wooly Bully," who, I believe, was a cousin to "Louie Louie."

What about Whitney Houston's belt-out version of "I Will Always Love You"?

Fred, you're right, there's some people out there doing some clever things with studio technology. Now that I'm older, I catch things like that I didn't pay attention to when I was younger. I might hear a song now and say, man, the song stinks, but the arrangement is really good, and how about that production job!

Wasn't there some old song about three guys that got trapped in a cave and they had to eat one of them? I don't think I ever heard it, but I've heard people talk about it. Was it called "Timothy" or something like that?


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 01:46 PM

Well Little Hawk, I need a heavy duty one as the other thing that frequently comes up is, "you know, Bob Dylan and Willie Nelson may have written some great music, but how can anyone listen to them?" This is usually followed by impressions of both of them.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Fred Miller
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 02:06 PM

KimC I'm not sure Whitney's belt-out version is really a song, it's more an example of that style of "singing" where the song serves as an opportunity for the "singer" to admire their own voice. Michael Bolton's Sittin On The Dock Of The Bay. Apparently these people enjoy their own voices a lot more than I do.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 03:40 PM

Exactly, Fred. Narcissism is another word for it. Whitney probably kills fruit flies with a sledge hammer and butters her toast with a double-bladed ax if her recordings are any indication.

Steve - dontcha just love those rotten Dylan & Willie impressions people do, who when questioned can name maybe 3 or 4 songs by Bob and 1 or 2 by Willie? The funniest one I heard was an imitation of Bob singing Happy Birthday that someone did...

Kim - I've always been extraordinarily insensitive and chauvinistic toward songs that "have a good beat and you can dance to". I guess that was just never what I was after when listening to music. Disco actually was great dance music, as far as that goes...and I suppose some Rap is good for that too, depending on the style of dance.

- LH


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Venthony
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 03:57 PM

Ya know, actually, Neil's early stuff from the mid-60s's is not bad, solely from a pop perspective. Don Kirchner, I believe, produced most of that crap, and for four-track teeny-music, it's OK.

The fact that Mr. Diamond is now a balding, over-dressed Las Vegas nebish is beside the point. He WAS invited to play at The Band's last concert at Winterland (The Last Waltz). So apparently somebody liked him.

AND ... the first girl who ever gave me a real kiss did so to the boss beat of "Solitary Man," so I'm probably not objective.

These days it's all Doc and Norman and Seldon Scene for me. But God bless you Neil -- she was a VERY pretty girl.

Tony


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Venthony
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 03:57 PM

Ya know, actually, Neil's early stuff from the mid-60s's is not bad, solely from a pop perspective. Don Kirchner, I believe, produced most of that crap, and for four-track teeny-music, it's OK.

The fact that Mr. Diamond is now a balding, over-dressed Las Vegas nebish is beside the point. He WAS invited to play at The Band's last concert at Winterland (The Last Waltz). So apparently somebody liked him.

AND ... the first girl who ever gave me a real kiss did so to the boss beat of "Solitary Man," so I'm probably not objective.

These days it's all Doc and Norman and Seldon Scene for me. But God bless you Neil -- she was a VERY pretty girl.

Tony


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 04:13 PM

I can understand how one could develop an appreciation for Neil Diamond in such a case. One woman I was in love with was nuts about Julio Iglesias, so I got to hear a lot of Julio and see some videos of him too. I did kind of get to like him after a while.

- LH


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: gwonya
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 06:23 PM

The things we do for love.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Kim C
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 06:40 PM

Well, LH, I don't dance to that kind of stuff anymore, since I took up belly dancing... It was always funny, though, when they did Rate the Record on American Bandstand, someone would inevitably say, "it's got a good beat and you can dance to it." :-)


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Mr Happy
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 07:15 PM

still can't do bloo clikki.its 2 long. go to part 3.

This thread is closed.
Please go to Part Three (click)

Thanks.
-Joe Offer-


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