Help me write a parody for a friend

Subject: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Big Mick
Date: 09 Sep 07 - 12:28 AM

A good buddy of mine, Cy Young Award winner and former Yankee Sparky Lyle's favorite song is The House of the Rising Sun. Every time we would be sitting on the deck, drinking a few beers and just enjoying the company, he would have me get out my guitar and play music for him and the other folks assembled. I did so gladly. Early on in our relationship as friends, he let me know that his favorite song is "House of the Rising Sun", so I always play it for him. Which brings me to the subject of this thread. I have already written the first verse of the song, which I will put at the end of this post. I am going to give you all some bio data, and interesting facts about Spark, and you can help me finish the parody. I am then going to record it on my computer and send it to him. Anyone whose verse makes the final cut will get a credit when I send it to him, and I will send you a copy as well. Here we go with the data:

Real name is Albert Walter Lyle. He never remembers being called that. He was such an active kid that he was known as a real spark plug. They called him Sparky from the get go. He tells me he would get in trouble in school because the teacher would call him Albert and he didn't know that it was him she was talking to. The teachers thought he was being a smart aleck.

He was born and raised in Dubois, Pennsylvania. His birthdate is July 22, 1944.

Sparky loved baseball, and played it in school, and he also played American Legion ball. The way he got noticed and picked up happened as a result of a 22 inning American Legion game. Sparky ended up pitching 17 of those innings, never letting a run in. A scout for the Baltimore Orioles saw this, was mightily impressed, and the Orioles signed him to a minor league contract. But Spark never pitched for the Orioles. They left him unprotected and the Boston Red Sox drafted him in 1967.

Sparky is known as the prototype of the modern day reliever. He became that by learning to throw a slider. Managers in his day were frustrated, because they knew what Sparky was going to throw, told the batters what to expect, they knew it was coming, ...... and they still couldn't hit it. The story of how Sparky developed that pitch is an amazing one in itself. Here it is as Sparky told it to me: He was in the farm system with the Boston Red Sox. One day Ted Williams (can you imagine?) was talking to him, and Williams said, "kid, to be a great reliever, you have to have one pitch that you can throw over and over and get a batter out. Just one, but it has to be devastating and you need to be able to throw it anytime and get a batter out. Do you know what the best pitch in baseball is, kid?" Sparky answered that he did, and gave the answer most pitchers would give, "the changeup". Williams looked at him and said, "Nope, it's the slider. Do you know why? Because it's the one pitch that even when I know it's coming, I can't hit the damn thing". And Ted Williams walked away, but he never told Sparky how to throw it. So Sparky spent the rest of that season and all winter trying to make the ball slide, and finally he figured it out. The pitch was devastating. He became the Red Sox's bullpen ace and a few seasons later he was traded to the Yankees for Danny Cater (who?) and a player to be named later. That became known as the second worst trade that Boston ever made, Ruth being the first. Sparky became the best at what he did, and this culminated with him winning the Cy Young Award (first AL reliever ever to accomplish this) in 1977.

Another great story Sparky told me involved the great catcher, Elston Howard. Elston played most of his career for the Yankees, but was traded to Boston in 1967. The manager of the Red Sox had such respect for Elston, that he told the pitching staff that anyone who shook off a sign from him would be fined $50.00. This is when Sparky was making but $5,000.00/year. He got several of those fines, until finally Elston Howard took pity on him, came out to the mound and told him, "Sparky, if I give you a sign you don't want, just stand there. Don't shake it off, just stand there, and I will give you something else.". Spark told Ellie, "Why don't you just not give me any signs, because I am just going to throw sliders anyway?". They agreed, and that was that.

Sparky was known as a clubhouse prankster, and his favorite prank involved cakes in the clubhouse. Whenever someone would bring a birthday cake in the clubhouse, Spark would pull down his pants and plant his butt cheeks in the cake. He got pretty good at leaving a perfect print in cakes. This went on for years.

Today, Sparky manages a minor league team in Bridgewater, NJ, the Somerset Patriots. He loves baseball, considers himself a Yankee to this day. One of the things he really enjoys is when a hot young pitcher with a great slider tells him who he learned it from, and they trace it right back to Sparky, and the guys he taught it to.

OK, the first verse, to the tune of House of the Rising Sun, goes like this:

There is, a house, they say Ruth built,
In the Bronx, NYC, USA...
And many's the legend, was built in that house,
I'll sing of one, today.

OK, take it from there, and let's work out some verses together.

Thanks,

Mick

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: katlaughing
Date: 09 Sep 07 - 12:42 AM

What a great story, Mick! I'll follow this with great interest.

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Genie
Date: 09 Sep 07 - 04:05 AM

OK, here's an easy stab at an easy verse, just to get 'er started, Mick.


The boys in the Red Sox clubhouse,
They knew it was all in fun,
To find two dents in a birthday cake
In the shape of ol' Sparky's buns.

(This oughta be an interesting songwriting process.)

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Big Mick
Date: 09 Sep 07 - 08:41 AM

Here's another great Sparky story. It concerns current Yankee reliever Allen Watson. When Watson was a kid, growing up in NYC, he, like so many kids in the area, lived and died with his Yankees. One night he was at a ballgame, with a friend. Allen watched as Reggie Jackson gave a broken bat to the kid beside him. Allen was very dejected. Sparky saw that the kid was crushed and and called out, "Hey blondie, come here". Sparky gave Allen Watson his baseball mitt, which had "Lyle, number 28" written on it. Allen Watson, all these years later and now a reliever for the Yankees as well, still keeps that glove in his locker at Yankees stadium.

So much lore of the sport.

Mick

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Big Mick
Date: 09 Sep 07 - 02:03 PM

Thanks for the start, Genie. I thought sure I would have more hits on this one by now.

Mick

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 09 Sep 07 - 03:56 PM

I can't see how you get bronx nyc usa to come out right. I would just say in the bronx in the usa. Is that how you spell Bronx? I thought there was a y in it somewhere...mg

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Genie
Date: 09 Sep 07 - 05:51 PM

Mick, I think this one may take some time.

When I started trying to 'parody' HOTRS by inserting Sparky bits (portions of your tale, that is), that part wasn't hard, but it wasn't the least bit funny, so I thought I'd have to take more time to work on that.

When you said "parody," did you mean to suggest a humorous re-write, or do you just want a narrative ballad about your friend, set to the tune of HOTRS?

G

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Big Mick
Date: 09 Sep 07 - 07:51 PM

I think it should have elements of both in there, Genie. I don't want it to be all dry, nor do I want it to be all just humorous. I am struggling a bit to describe it, but it is kind of like Sparky's life. He is one of these great hearts, a real softie who always loves to make kids feel special, and young ballplayers feel that they can accomplish. Yet he is also this prankster, and a real sparkplug, and yet he is also this consumate professional. He would never lie to a young ballplayer, for example, and give him false hope. Yet he knows his life is devoted to a game. Hence, the funny stuff needs be there, but the Ted Williams piece is critical. The Ellie Howard piece is important and funny, yet so is the 17 inning piece.

I am just trying to capture Sparky, using his favorite song.

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Big Mick
Date: 09 Sep 07 - 07:54 PM

Mary, when you sing it, just use rests in the part that would be in the original song:

..they call ... the rising....sun

..In the Bronx....NYC....USA

I appreciate you folks efforts. I find myself wishing Rick was here also. He was a baseball nut, and would be all over this one.

Mick

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 07 - 08:42 PM

When I was just a boy in school,
I pitched Legion ball for pennies,
And the games were hard and the teams were good,
And the extra innings many.

On a summer evening in the Bronx
As rough as you've ever seen,
The innings went to twenty-two
And I pitched seventeen.

They sent their best against us,
They used their biggest guns.
But we stood them off for seventeen rounds,
And they didn't get a run.

And when the game was over,
We were spent in arm and soul,
A stranger brought a contract out,
With the big-league Orioles.

I was bought out by the Red Sox,
I was traded to the Yanks,
Spent many a game in the bull-pen line,
Without a word of thanks.

But when the game's hard up, boys
And the win is on the line,
It's then they call for The Reliever
To save the New York nine.

Now some swear by the fastball pitch,
Some say changeup's are the thing,
Ted Williams taught me the slider pitch
Will always make them swing.

IF you've got two runners on the bags
And you're down to three and oh,
That's when you need that slider pitch,
And it's Ted who sez it's so.

Today the major leagues have passed,
And I manage the Somerset team,
But the call from the house that Ruth built still
Comes echoing through my dreams

I can hear the crowds all screaming loud
And the seconds counting down,
I can hear them call "Reliever!!"
As I walk out to the mound.

I have one foot on the pitcher's mound
And one foot in the air,
And the slider I throw will retire the side,
And the Yanks will all be there.

If you look for me in heaven,
Just follow the loudest noise
I'll be with Christy, Babe and Lou,
Teaching sliders to the boys.

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 07 - 08:47 PM

Feel free to slice and dice to your heart's content Mick. Just throwing in my two bits to help the cause. :D


A

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Big Mick
Date: 09 Sep 07 - 11:05 PM

Now THAT'S what I'm talking about. Let's keep it goin', I want more woman input. Guys and Gals can read the same piece of prose and come up with two different takes.

Damn, Amos, that's good stuff.

Mick

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Genie
Date: 10 Sep 07 - 12:30 AM

Amos always comes up with good stuff.
But I'm not gonna indulge myself in reading Amos's contributions till after I've worked on my own.   I don't want to be piggybacking on his "take" -- at least not at this point.

Genie

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Genie
Date: 10 Sep 07 - 02:39 AM

OK, Mick,
Here are a few verses I've been toying with. Do with them what you will.

Genie

There is a house they say Ruth built
In the Bronx, NYC, USA,
And many's the legend was built in that house.
I'll sing of one today.

(OK, that one's your own. Here are mine.)

Sparky is a pal of mine
And a winner of Cy Young.
Happy hours we've passed, to raise a glass
With friends and songs we've sung.

He was christened Albert Walter
But in truth, he quickly came
To hardly recognize it when
The teachers called that name.

See, Albert was a live wire,
A "spark plug" dynamo,
So they called him Sparky from the start -
His real name he'd hardly know.

The teachers would call on "Albert Lyle"
And Sparky'd sit there mute.
So he garnered many a reprimand [Alt: So his knuckles, they took many a rap]
For being smart-assed and "cute."

Now Sparky became a pitcher,
His slider, it was gold
And the tale of how that came about
To you I'll now unfold.

While farmed out to the Red Sox,
Ted Williams he chanced to meet
And Sparky, he was eager
To learn at the great one's feet.

"Now the one thing a reliever needs
Is one pitch that they can't swat,"
Said Ted, "You can tell them what you'll throw
But the warning is for naught."

So Ted Williams said to Sparky,
"Kid, here's some advice to go on:
The best sure pitch, it's a slider, boy."
(But he didn't tell how to throw one.)

So how do you throw a slider?
Sparky was obsessed inside.
He worked from summer through till spring
To make that baseball slide.

That pitch was devastating!
A bullpen ace was Lyle.
Didn't need no coded signals,
He'd just throw them out and smile. [Alt: He'd just fan 'em out and smile. or He'd just fan 'em out with style.]

He played for th' American Legion,
And once in a marathon
Sparky pitched seventeen innings,
And gave up not one run.

He could have played for Baltimore,
And he they signed him to their min-
ors but they let his contract slip
And to the Red Sox he was signed

Sparky Lyle, he's the quintessential
Modern day "reliever."
He'd foil the batters every time
No need to be a deceiver.

Now Boston is on record
For the two worst ever trades.
Babe Ruth first, then -- they must've been cursed! --
To the Yanks they sent Lyle away.

---

Somewhere in the song, maybe a verse like one of these, but I don't know where:

He was a clubhouse prankster
Well known for rowdy fun.
Like dropping trou to mark birthday cakes
With the imprint of his buns.

The boys in the Red Sox clubhouse,
They knew it was all in fun,
To find two dents in a birthday cake
In the shape of ol' Sparky's buns.

---
I'll also play around with some sort of ending.   
Nothing I've written so far is all that exciting to me, but maybe something will trigger the creative juices in other 'Catters.

Sparky sounds like quite a guy, by the way.

:-D

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Genie
Date: 10 Sep 07 - 02:43 AM

PS,
Now that I've allowed myself to read Amos's verses, I think his whole take on the song works fine as it is. Excellent job, Amos!

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 Sep 07 - 02:54 AM

It's been a long time and I am out of practice, but here's a "stab at it:"

There was a boy in old P.A.
Who loved to play baseball
And he started out in school one day,
Got signed and ha-ad it all.

He studied the pitch and all the hits
He wanted to learn more
So he asked old Ted, "How do you do that?"
So Ted he told him lore.

He said, "Just what is the best pitch of all?
"No changeup, it just won't do,
To stump them, no runs, you pitch 'em a slider
Then you'll become an Ace, too."

Note: He said, just what is the best pitch of all (I know it doesn't count up right, but it sounds better with the "of all")

kat

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Genie
Date: 10 Sep 07 - 03:21 AM

Couple more verse "doodlings":

When a hot young pitcher nowadays
Has a slider thrown with style,
Whoever he learned it from, it's sure
They can trace it back to Lyle.

Now Sparky, he's a prankster,
But with a great big heart of gold.
True to his game and touches the hearts the same
Of fans both young and old.

They tell how Sparky made the day
For young downcast Allen Watson.
Lyle gave the kid a signed baseball mitt,
And Watson, he's never forgotten.

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Genie
Date: 10 Sep 07 - 11:25 AM

Just a note re 'voice'.

Amos cleverly put the narrative in the first person - a great advantage when trying to fit a complex story into a short-line, short-verse song like House Of The Rising Sun. Singing "I" saves syllables (beats) over singing "Albert Walter Lyle" or even "Sparky."

The downside of telling Sparky's tale in the first person is that it makes it harder to tout his virtues without sounding arrogant.   It works fine for telling his baseball exploits, but I'm not sure it will work for a verse about what a "softie" Sparky is, how much he does for kids, or even what a wacky sense of humor he has.   Not saying it can't be done, but I think that's a challenge.

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Genie
Date: 10 Sep 07 - 03:07 PM

The managers of opposing teams
Would go stark raving mad.
Their batters knew what Sparky threw,
Yet they'd miss it, to a lad.

or

When Sparky pitched, the other teams
Would go mad, one and all.
The batters knew what he always threw
But they couldn't hit the goddamn ball.

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 07 - 04:42 PM

HEll, if ya wanna get all acadeemick about it, I was echoing the voice and person of the original, which strengthens the resonance instilled in the listener's mind by the parody. Assuming he knows the original, of course. IF he doesn't, then the pattern of resonance falls back onto whatever primal or paradigmatic structures he would have brought into resonance if he had heard the original, on first hearing, with appropriate allowances for the unavoidable minor differences in ethos brought about by the cultural departures between orginal and parody. After all, not all ball clubs are whorehouses, only some of them.


A

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 Sep 07 - 07:12 PM

Amos, I'd say you should write speeches for the shrub, but he'd never be able to read through them!

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 07 - 08:55 PM

Kat:

He couldn't pay me enough, unless it was a farewell speech. That, I'd write for free. But I suggest you reexamine my post for traces of irony.


A

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Genie
Date: 10 Sep 07 - 09:22 PM

Traces?   

;-D

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Big Mick
Date: 10 Sep 07 - 09:42 PM

Just got into my hotel after a day at the mercy of the gods of flight. Merciless bastards, that lot!! So I am a bit edgy, as it were. And Lo and Behold, look what greets me. I love this, and what great creativity. I am getting just what I was looking for. What I didn't tell you all is that I had a version done, but it just wasn't grabbing me. With these wonderful contributions, plus what is yet to come, I think we will have all written a nice piece.

I am going to take this stuff, and blend it with mine, and come up with a finished product. Don't stop working on yours.

I love this!!!

Mick

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Genie
Date: 10 Sep 07 - 09:46 PM

Sounds like the perfect approach, Mick.   You're obviously the one who should write the final version, and it's good to know our bits of doggerel can be of service to get your own creative juices flowing.

Genie

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Big Mick
Date: 10 Sep 07 - 10:06 PM

Operative phrase in my last post, Genie, m'love. ....we will have all written a nice piece. I was not happy with much past the opening verse of mine. There were pieces that just were not working, and some good ones. By the time I get done melding Amos', yours, kat's, mg, whomever else contributes, ... I think we will tell the story just fine, and do justice to my buddy.

And you are right. He is a heckuva guy.

Mick

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 Sep 07 - 11:33 PM

It's not much, Mick, but you are welcome to it and you may have your way with it!:-)

Amos, as Genie asked, "Traces?"**bg** Bit more than that! I got the irony, but most folks wouldn't, at least not what the news would snip out a report and I wouldn't write one for him, either, unless it was a farewell one!

Mick, kind of on topic. We watched History Detectives on PBS tonight. They were researching an artist who did cartoons for the comic book series, "Picture News." The original artwork which they researched was of a one-armed baseball player named Pete Gray. Really interesting, including footage of how he caught the ball, transferred his glove to under his armpit and grabbed the ball at the same time, then threw it. You can read about it HERE There is also a PDF transcript of that segment of the show.

kat

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Genie
Date: 11 Sep 07 - 01:54 AM

[["And you are right. He is a heckuva guy.
Mick]]

It's OK, Mick. You're allowed to say "hell."

;-D

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 11 Sep 07 - 11:36 PM

My take, Mick.

Sparky Lyle for Danny Cater,
The worst trade in history,
And why the Red Sox made it
Is still a mystery.

For Sparky and his slider
New York City still gives thanks;
While Boston hearts are broken,
'Cause he plays for the goddamn Yanks.

See you this weekend?

Seamus

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Genie
Date: 11 Sep 07 - 11:48 PM

I like it, Seamus. Especially the second verse!

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Big Mick
Date: 12 Sep 07 - 12:55 AM

Great verses, Seamus!! Unfortunately you most likely won't see me. I am in South Dakota, and probably won't be home in time for Muskegon. Knock 'em dead.

Mick

Subject: RE: Help me write a parody for a friend.....
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 12 Sep 07 - 01:50 AM

Bummer, big guy.

See you down the line somewhere.

You knock 'em dead, too.

Seamus