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Christmas parodies II

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PaulBobbyBuzz 22 Nov 02 - 01:30 PM
catspaw49 22 Nov 02 - 01:56 PM
Amergin 22 Nov 02 - 02:12 PM
Stewart 22 Nov 02 - 05:19 PM
masato sakurai 22 Nov 02 - 07:43 PM
Rustic Rebel 23 Nov 02 - 02:02 PM
Rustic Rebel 23 Nov 02 - 02:17 PM
Rustic Rebel 23 Nov 02 - 02:22 PM
pattyClink 23 Nov 02 - 04:29 PM
Genie 24 Nov 02 - 02:15 AM
Grab 24 Nov 02 - 09:09 PM
Troll 24 Nov 02 - 10:36 PM
GUEST,.gargoyle 24 Nov 02 - 11:25 PM
GUEST,.gargoyle 25 Nov 02 - 10:00 AM
Charley Noble 25 Nov 02 - 05:22 PM
Bob Bolton 25 Nov 02 - 09:40 PM
Hrothgar 26 Nov 02 - 02:40 AM
Bob Bolton 26 Nov 02 - 03:44 AM
Hrothgar 28 Nov 02 - 03:00 AM
Dead Horse 28 Nov 02 - 03:21 PM
George Seto - af221@chebucto.ns.ca 22 Dec 02 - 10:15 PM
Dave Bryant 23 Dec 02 - 10:51 AM
Bob Bolton 23 Dec 02 - 07:24 PM
GUEST,Feral_Boy13@yahoo.com 19 Oct 03 - 07:06 PM
Wilfried Schaum 20 Oct 03 - 03:25 AM
Mark Cohen 21 Oct 03 - 12:18 AM
LadyJean 21 Oct 03 - 12:26 AM
MAG 01 Dec 03 - 12:52 PM
Acme 01 Dec 03 - 01:37 PM
The Fooles Troupe 01 Dec 03 - 04:13 PM
GUEST,pavane 02 Dec 03 - 08:05 AM
Wilfried Schaum 02 Dec 03 - 08:45 AM
Jim Dixon 02 Dec 03 - 09:58 AM
catspaw49 14 Dec 03 - 01:52 PM
GUEST,Nursegrazi 24 Nov 07 - 01:29 PM
The Fooles Troupe 24 Nov 07 - 08:09 PM
catspaw49 24 Nov 07 - 11:54 PM
Brendy 25 Nov 07 - 12:09 AM
Azizi 25 Nov 07 - 11:51 AM
GUEST,actually Joe_F 25 Nov 07 - 09:14 PM
GUEST,Jim 26 Nov 07 - 05:49 PM
JesseW 21 Dec 07 - 05:28 PM
Amos 21 Dec 07 - 09:18 PM
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Jim Dixon 02 Jun 09 - 10:52 AM
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Subject: Christmas parodies
From: PaulBobbyBuzz
Date: 22 Nov 02 - 01:30 PM

Hi. Looking for parodies, especially the one about the "rusted chevrolet". Thanks for the hand-drum tunes, they really helped. pbb


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Subject: Lyr Add: THE RESTROOM DOOR SAID 'GENTLEMEN'
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 Nov 02 - 01:56 PM

We've had some threads around this but this oughta' be good to see if we can get a bunch on one thread. Here are two based on "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen:"

THE RESTROOM DOOR SAID 'GENTLEMEN'
from Bob Rivers' "Twisted Christmas"

The restroom door said 'Gentlemen'
so I just walked inside.
I took two steps and realized
I'd been taken for a ride.
I heard high voices, turned and found
the place was occupied
by three nuns, two old ladies and a nurse.
What could be worse
than three nuns, two old ladies and a nurse?


The restroom door said 'Gentlemen'
it must have been a gag.
As soon as I walked in there,
I ran into some old hag.
She sprayed me with a can of mace
and hit me with her bag.
It just wasn't turning out to be my day.
What can I say?
It just wasn't turning out to be my day!


The restroom door said 'Gentlemen'
and I would like to find
the crummy little creep
who had the nerve to switch the sign.
Because I've got two black eyes
and one high heel up my behind.
Now I'll never sit in comfort or joy.
Boy oh boy!
Now I'll never sit in comfort or joy.



OR this one....a catspaw original......

The Miserable Tailor
from the twisted mind of catspaw

God damn you Harry Mendelson
These pants are much too short
The cuffs don't cover up my socks
I'm sorry to report
The belt loops they are all in back
The crotch is at my knees
What a miserable tailor are you
You sunnavabitch
What a miserable tailor are you!


God damn you Harry Mendelson
This vest's a total wreck
You've cut it wrong its plain to see
It buttons to my neck!
The fourteen buttons don't line up
With eleven buttonholes
What a miserable tailor are you
You sunnavabitch
What a miserable tailor are you


God damn you Harry Mendelson
The coat is all wrong too
One lapel is bright red plaid
The other pinstripe blue
The left sleeve covers up my hand
The right one isn't there
What a miserable tailor are you
You sunnavabitch
What a miserable tailor are you


Then you can check out this thread on Jingle Bells for some parodies there.

Also, not to be forgotten is the following to "Winter Wonderland:"

WALKIN' ROUND IN WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR
(Bob Rivers)

Lacy things -- the wife is missin',
Didn't ask -- her permission,
I'm wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.

In the store -- there's a teddy,
Little straps -- like spaghetti,
It holds me so tight,
Like handcuffs at night,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.

In the office there's a guy named Melvin,
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say,"Whoa, Man!"
"Let's wait until our wives are out of town!"

Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress -- like Madonna,
Put on some eyeshade,
And join the parade,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!

Lacy things... missin',
Didn't ask... permission,
Wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!



I'm sure some additional things will be showing up soon.

Spaw


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Subject: Lyr Add: WHIP ME SANTA CLAUS
From: Amergin
Date: 22 Nov 02 - 02:12 PM

WHIP ME SANTA CLAUS
Mucous and the Phlegms
("Here Comes Santa Claus")

CHORUS: Whip me Santa Claus
Spank me Santa Claus;
Don't worry if my flesh be seared.
I should be harshly punished
For being bad all year.

Whip me Santa Claus
Spank me Santa Claus;
The time of reckoning is near.
I have to pay my social debt
Before I can have cheer.

Choosing the correction
Is solely up to you,
But I would like a reddened butt,
Do what you have to do.
If your hands are fragile,
A paddle you might use.
I want to surely pay my debt,
Therefore, you must abuse.
Paddles can have nails,
Yes that would be real good.
And like an executioner,
Please wear a leather hood. CHORUS

What is this you tell me,
You'll never punish me.
Cause that is not the way you work,
Hell that is news to me.
When you don't bring presents
To children that were bad,
Then you have punished them
I say by making them feel bad.
Violence may offend you,
Then use a gentle touch.
But still I want that reddened butt,
Is that asking too much? CHORUS


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Stewart
Date: 22 Nov 02 - 05:19 PM

Here's one I posted earlier God Rest Ye Unitarians from a previous thread Christmas Parodies

Cheers, S. in Seattle


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: masato sakurai
Date: 22 Nov 02 - 07:43 PM

Some Christmas song parodies sites:

Christmas Carols parodies

Fractured Christmas Carols

TREK Christmas Carols

Internet Christmas Carols

Environmentally Friendly Christmas Carols

~Masato


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Subject: Lyr Add: DO YOU FEAR WHAT I FEAR?
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 23 Nov 02 - 02:02 PM

Here's one that seems to fit into many of our thread topics lately

"Do You Hear What I Hear? " Originally by Tony Sandler & Ralph Young
"Do You Fear What I Fear?" Parody by William Tong
(instrumental intro)

To the Right Wing, said their little man:
"Can I be Dick Cheney?"
Duh-Buh-Ya is their little man.
Strings pulled by Dick Cheney.
Thus far, thus far, Bush danced to the right.
And he's out looking for a fight...
And he's out looking for a fight.

Yes, this little man is just Poppy's boy.
Do you fear what I fear?
Bringing sleaze and lies is Bush Boy.
Do you fear what I fear?
His right wing throng... stole democracy,
And installed Bush's monarchy.
They installed Bush's monarchy.

See Pop's little boy try to be the king.
What the hell does he know?
As the Right Wing swarms on this king.
What the hell does he know?
His power compiled, through the right wing fold.
From our rainbow, Bush stole the gold.
From our rainbow, Bush stole the gold.

Bogus king said to people: "I don't care!
Better do what I say!
I've got spies, people - everywhere!
Better do what I say!"
King Bush's style: sleeping day and night.
While he takes his duties so light.
While he takes his duties so light.

How about this one;
On the 1st day of X-mas, my truelove gave to me, a bottle of Xstasy

On the 2nd of Xmas, my truelove gave to me,
2 Cuban cigars
and a Bottle of Xstasy

On the 3rd day of X-mas, my truelove gave to me,
3 cigarettes,
2 Cuban cigars, and
A bottle of Xstasy

On the 4th day of X-mas, my truelove gave to me,
4 nickelbags,
3 cigarettes,
2 Cuban Cigars,
and a bottle of Xstasy

On the 5th day of X-mas, my truelove gave to me,
5 bags of weed
4 nickelbags,
cigarettes,
2 Cuban cigars,
and a bottle of X-stasy

On the 6th day of X-mas, my truelove gave to me,
6 bongs to smoke,
5 bags of weed,
4 nickelbags,
3 cigarettes
2 Cuban cigars,
and a bottle of X-stasy

On the 7th day of X-mas, my truelove gave to me,
7 kegs of beer,
6 bongs to smoke,
5 bags of weed,
4 nickelbags,
3 cigarettes,
2 Cuban cigars,
and a bottle of X-stasy

On the 8th day of X-mas, my truelove gave to me,
8 purple pills,
7 kegs of beer,
6 bongs to smoke,
5 bags of weed,
4 nickelbags,
3 cigarettes,
2 Cuban cigars,
and a bottle of X-stasy

On the 9th day of X-mas, my truelove gave to me,
9 rolled up joints,
8 purple pills,
7 kegs of beer,
6 bongs to smoke,
5 bags of weed,
4 nickelbags,
3 cigarettes,
2 Cuban cigars,
and a bottle of X-stasy

On the 10th day of X-mas, my truelove gave to me,
10 magic brownies,
9 rolled up joints,
8 purple pills,
7 kegs of beer,
6 bongs to smoke,
5 bags weed,
4 nickelbags,
3 cigarettes.
2 Cuban cigars,
and a bottle of X-stasy

On the 11th day of X-mas, my truelove gave to me,
11 lbs of crack,
10 magic brownies,
9 rolled up joints,
8 purple pills,
7 kegs of beer,
6 bongs to smoke,
5 bags of weed,
4 nickelbags,
3 cigarettes,
2 Cuban cigars,
and a bottle of X-stasy

On the 12th day of X-mas, my truelove gave to me,
12 lines of coke,
11 lbs of crack,
10 magic brownies,
9 rolled up joints,
8 purple pills,
7 kegs of beer,
6 bongs to smoke,
5 bags of weed,
4 nickelbags,
3 cigarettes,
2 Cuban cigars,
and a bottle of X-stasy

you can find these and a lot more at-amiright.com
Peace, Rustic


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 23 Nov 02 - 02:17 PM

It seems that one didn't work I will try again

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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 23 Nov 02 - 02:22 PM

ok try this;http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/a.shtmlRustic


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: pattyClink
Date: 23 Nov 02 - 04:29 PM

Thank you, Masato.

There is one little gem hidden amongst the Star Dreck:

STAR TREK CHRISTMAS CAROLS:

From: Jean-Luc Picard (to the tune of "Let It Snow"):

Oh, the vacuum outside is endless,
Unforgiving, cold, and friendless,
But still we must boldly go--
Make it so, make it so, make it so!


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Genie
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 02:15 AM

More here:

Christmas Parodies


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Grab
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 09:09 PM

Arrest these merry gentlemen is brilliant (as expected for a Kipper family song :-)

And not a parody, but "A cockroach Christmas" by the Berrymans is firmly on my list for next month.

Graham.


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Troll
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 10:36 PM

Good King Sauerkraut looked out
On his feets uneven,
Beware the snoo lay roundabout,
All kerchoo achievin'.

Snoo? What's Snoo?
Oh, nuthin' much. What's Snoo with you?

From Pogo. by Walt Kelly

troll


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Subject: Lyr Add: SANTA CLAUS THE ORIGINAL HIPPY
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 11:25 PM

I am finding Kazaa to be a boon in picking up obscure recordings such as:

SANTA CLAUS THE ORIGINAL HIPPY
Homer and Jethro

(Tune similar to Ou, Wa Ditty)

Well he wore long hair and a fuzzy beard
Before any hippy was ever here.
Patent leather boots and psychadelic clothes
With little granny glasses upon his nose.
Santa Claus the Original Hippy

Motorcycle gangs with wide leather belts
Funny lookin cats their eyes would melt
If they could take a look at Santy Clause's buckle
His belly's all hot that why he can chuckle
Santa Claus the Original Hippy

Who's the guy who could always fly
Long before the Wright brothers learned to try
He could take a trip in 1583
And he could take a trip without LSD

Who wears a colar and cuffs of fur
For all we know there is beads under there.
Cause he was the first to wear all those hippy clothes
That's why his finger's always up against his nose
Santa Claus the Original Hippy.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle


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Subject: Lyr Add: FROSTY THE DEFROSTED SNOWMAN
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 10:00 AM

FROSTY THE DEFROSTED SNOWMAN
by Homer and Jethro

Frosty the Snowman, got a job out on the farm
And the farmer knew, that he would never do the animals any harm.
Frosty had a little lamb and he put it on a shelf
And every time it turned around it spanked its little self
They sent him out to shovel snow and Frosty looked so grim
For every time he stopped to rest, His work piled up on him.
Frosty the Snowman, liked to herd the sheeps it's true
Everyday he could here the rams say, eeeww, eeeww, eeeww Naaahhhhhhh

Frosty tried to milk the cows, but he was such a slouch
The cows would never holler mooo, they would only holler OUCH.
He fed the cows some sugar and they drank from a frozen stream
Now when ol' Frosty milks the cows, they all give him ice cream.
He cross-bred beets and taters and imagine his surprise
When the taters started to grow they all had bloodshot eyes.
Frosty the Snowman backed into the stove one day
Though it felt so warm, it ruined his form. He melted plum away.
(Water sound)

Sincerely, Gargoyle


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Charley Noble
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 05:22 PM

Then there are the Christmas Sea Shanty parodies such as "Rolling Down to Bethlehem," "The Snow Shoveling Shanty," and "Santa, Come Back."

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 09:40 PM

G'day,

At the Loaded Dog Folk Club, last Saturday, one item that appeared in the blackboard concert was Santa Claus is Dead. This starts with (~):

Santa Claus is dead -
They found him in a toy shop;
A bullet through his head.
A note pinned to his jacket,
Confirmed what papers tell:
That he was on the payroll
Of Toltoys and Mattel.

I thought I would be likely to find it in the DT ... but no!

It tried various net searches: "Santa Claus is dead " got 92,900 hits - but the top 20 didn't have anything vaguely like a song! A smart search on "santa(AND)mattel(AND)dead" trimmed it to 1990 hits - but little suggestion of a song.

The lady who sang it has moved out of Sydney, or I would ask her ... but it was a great song and I'm sure there must be 'catters who can find it (for a friend who was in the audience and asked if I knew it ... I said no problem ... Huh!).

Regards,

Bob Bolton


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Hrothgar
Date: 26 Nov 02 - 02:40 AM

Bob,

I think that starts with the line "Christmas has been cancelled..."

To the tune, I think, of "Lili Marlene."

There are a couple of verses out there somewhere. I'll have a look.


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 26 Nov 02 - 03:44 AM

G'day Hrothgar,

You are, of course, dead right! I knew a line was missing ... but was not sure from where. I would appreciate a few more verses, if you can unearth them.

Regards,

Bob Bolton


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Hrothgar
Date: 28 Nov 02 - 03:00 AM

Bob, they are in a book that I've seen, but don't have in my library - and for which I can't recall a name yet. It consists of parodies by Australian songwriters, A5 sized? buff coloured cardboard cover?

It will come to me.


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Subject: Lyr Add: GAUDY TREE
From: Dead Horse
Date: 28 Nov 02 - 03:21 PM

GAUDY TREE

Gaudy tree, gaudy tree, they say it sparkles
It's all baubles and tinsel, they say
Gaudy tree, gaudy tree, they say it sparkles
It's all baubles and tinsel, they say

There's a fairy on the top, and her wand it flickers
Wooden soldier down below, he's looking up her….
Gaudy tree, gaudy tree, they say it sparkles
It's all baubles and tinsel, they say
Gaudy tree, gaudy tree, they say it sparkles
It's all baubles and tinsel, they say

Cheapo flashing lights around, strung on plastic wire
Made in Hong Kong I'll be bound, soon there'll be a ….
Gaudy tree, gaudy tree, they say it sparkles
It's all baubles and tinsel, they say
Gaudy tree, gaudy tree, they say it sparkles
It's all baubles and tinsel, they say

Fathers doing magic tricks, just to entertain us
Mother has the Paxo out, stuffing the turkeys….
Gaudy tree, gaudy tree, they say it sparkles
It's all baubles and tinsel, they say
Gaudy tree, gaudy tree, they say it sparkles
It's all baubles and tinsel, they say

Sister has her boyfriend round, his name is Charlie Tucker
They're going out in his new sports car, & then he'll try to …
Gaudy tree, gaudy tree, they say it sparkles
It's all baubles and tinsel, they say
Gaudy tree, gaudy tree, they say it sparkles
It's all baubles and tinsel, they say

Granddads on the booze again, Grandma begs his pardon
She slips viagra in his glass, to help him get a ….
Gaudy tree, gaudy tree, they say it sparkles
It's all baubles and tinsel, they say
Gaudy tree, gaudy tree, they say it sparkles
It's all baubles and tinsel, they say


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Subject: Lyr Add: RUSTY CHEVROLET
From: George Seto - af221@chebucto.ns.ca
Date: 22 Dec 02 - 10:15 PM

From the Fractured Christmas Carols site:

Rusty Chevrolet
By Da Yoopers

(car start) C'mon, c'mon! (car start) C'mon, you can do it! (car engine kicking in) Alright! (music starts)

Dashing through the snow in my rusty Chevrolet.
Down the road I go, sliding all the way.
I need new piston rings. I need some new snow tires.
My car is held together by a piece of chicken wire!

Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away.
I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay.
The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio it's okay.
Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusty Chevrolet!

I went to the IGA to get some Christmas cheer.
I just passed up my left front tire and it's gettin' hard to steer.
Speeding down the highway, right past the county cops.
I have to drag my swampers to get the car to stop.

Chorus

(Chorus music)

Bouncing through the snowdrifts in a big, blue cloud of smoke.
People laugh as I drive by; I wonder what's the joke!
I have to get to ShopCo to pick up the layaway,
Because Santa Claus is comin' soon in his big, old, rusty sleigh!

Chorus

Rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away.
I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay.
The frame is bent...(fade out)


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 23 Dec 02 - 10:51 AM

We three spivs of Leicester Square
Selling knickers a tanner a pair
How fantastic - cheap elastic
And not very safe to wear.

We three kings of Liverpool are
One on a cycle and one in a car
One on a scooter - blowing his hooter
Following Ringo Starr


Mind you "Ilkley Moor Baht 'At" started off as a parody to the then current "While Shepherds Watched" tune of "Cranbrook" by Thomas Clark.


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 23 Dec 02 - 07:24 PM

G'day again Hrothgar,

That Christmas has been cancelled parody I was seeking has turned up in the Christmas Parodies thread, posted by fellow Sydneysider JennyO.

It is by Paul Mortimer ... or, from his scurrillous little parody book, anyway! (Unfortunately, I don't seem to have a copy of that one ... from about 10 years back, if I remember correctly.)

Regards,

Bob Bolton


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: GUEST,Feral_Boy13@yahoo.com
Date: 19 Oct 03 - 07:06 PM

Good King Herod

Don't make any fuss
Don't make any noise
All you cute little girls
And sweet little boys
Good King Herod's coming to town

He's making a list
And checking it twice
'Gonna make really sure
All those babies are iced
Good King Herod's coming to town.

The prophecy had told him
His kingship would be lost
He'll make damn sure his sovereignty never will be crossed

So head for the hills
With your young'uns and tykes
You don't want to see
All their bodies on spikes
Good King Herod's coming to town.


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 03:25 AM

Paul - Are you interested in a German-Latin parody of the Christmas carol In dulci jubilo? I could dig it out in some days.

Wilfried


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 12:18 AM

Many years ago my friend Ken Shulman in Seattle sang this one that he said was written by Christopher Hershey:

OH CON ALL THE FAITHFUL

Oh, con all the faithful, appeal to their religion
Buy a plastic manger scene and set it up in the front yard
Twelve lifelike figures set the tone
In lifelike painted styrofoam
Provided with appropriate tape-recorded Bible verses
Oh how we do abhor it, wherever shall we store it?
But we paid plenty for it--besides, it's the biggest on the block

Oh, con all the faithful, appeal to their tradition
Send Christmas cards to everyone you've known for the last 20 years
And God forbid if you are missed
By someone who is on your list
It's not the thought that counts but just the thought of counting them
Don't friends deserve much better? So why not write a letter?
The rest you can forget, sir, it's only wasting trees


I knew a guy in college whose studies had been postponed by being drafted into the Marines and sent to Vietnam; he said the troops there sang this one at Christmastime:

Jingle bells, mortar shells, VC in the grass
You can take your Christmas tree and shove it up your ass

Aloha,
Mark


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: LadyJean
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 12:26 AM

Three kings or orient are
One of them lighted a big black cigar
It was loaded it exploded
two kings of orient are.

Two kings of orient are.
One of them lighted a big black cigar.
It was loaded, it exploded.
One king of orient are.

One king of orient are.
He lighted a big black cigar.
it was loaded, it exploded.
Silent night...


Jingle bellski jingle bellski jingle all the wayski.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm Russian the season."


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: MAG
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 12:52 PM

I heard a cut from Christine Lavin's holiday release, "The Runaway christmas Tree" on our local folk show (Dan Maher, Inland Folk, NPR out of Pullman WA). I liked it and bought the CD. I am not greatly impressed by the two original children's stories but the music is just fine.

Tacobel's Canon isn't christmas but a great parody ( and self-explanatory).

"Scalloped Potatoes" is what I bought it for.

Christine and friends sing some traditional rounds straight and I love that kind of music so it is on balance a worthwhile purchase. (but not for the stories.)

There are


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Acme
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 01:37 PM

How about the humor of Seattle's own Stan Boreson? He had a recording of christmas songs, I have a copy of it around here somewhere.

"I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas," "Ragnar, the Flat-Nosed Reindeer," etc.

SRS


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 04:13 PM

OK, I know Spike Milligan used the 3 kings parody in The Goon Show in the late 1950-early60's, but can it be documented before then?


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: GUEST,pavane
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 08:05 AM

Tom Lehrer's Christmas song (can't remember the title) contains short parodies of a couple of carols, on the theme of commercialisation, e.g.

'God rest ye merry mechants, may you make the Yuletide pay'


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 08:45 AM

christmas carol. lyrics by tom lehrer. Very funny.

Wilfried


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 09:58 AM

I thought y'all might like to know:

Minnesota Public Radio is sponsoring a parody songwriting contest. (That's my term, not theirs.) Write new lyrics to the tune of "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" or "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" (or "Jingle Bells" if you're age 13 or younger). The winning song in each category will be performed on MPR. Additional selected submissions will be posted on MPR's website. (Some are already there.) Click here for more info.


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 01:52 PM

Always worth a refresh this time of year....A load of good links up there too!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies Tom Lehrer A Christmas Caro
From: GUEST,Nursegrazi
Date: 24 Nov 07 - 01:29 PM

Christmas time is here, by golly,
Disapproval would be folly.
Deck the halls with hunks of holly,
Fill the cup and don't say when.

Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens,
Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens.
Even though the prospect sickens,
Brother, here we go again.

On Christmas Day you can't get sore,
Your fellow man you must adore.
There's time to rob him all the more
The other three hundred and sixty-four.

Relations, sparing no expense, 'll
Send some useless old utensil,
Or a matching pen and pencil.
("Just the thing I need, how nice!")

It doesn't matter how sincere it is,
Nor how heart felt the spirit,
Sentiment will not endear it,
What's important is the price.

Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.
God rest ye merry merchants,
May ye make the Yuletide pay.
Angels we have heard on high,
Tell us to go out and buy!

So, let the raucous sleigh bells jingle,
Hail our dear old friend Kris Kringle,
Driving his reindeer across the sky.
Don't stand underneath when they fly by.


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Nov 07 - 08:09 PM

A Charisma Scare Roll

Go dressed team marriage end dull meant
Lit north ink cutest May
Forge eases cry star say fiord
West boor non crisp mistake,
Two safe assault from say tons spar
Win whee wore gonifs tray;
Owe, tide ink's off come fort enjoy, come fort enjoy,
Owe tye eye dink's off come fort enjoy.


An Udder Charisma Scare Roll

Oak gum ball if facefull, choy fall ant dry infant;
Gum ball ease it is sins off heavy nabob.
Gum band a door imp, barn off kinky faint shells.
Oak omelet acid Durham, oak omelet acid Durham,
Oak gum lettuce at Durhammm, cry, I still hoard.


And a harp pine gnu weir two ewe wall.

Robin


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Nov 07 - 11:54 PM

Author Unknown:
Sung to the tune of Sleigh Ride
~ ~ ~

I feel my pecker tinglin', balls are jinglin' too,
Come on and tell me whether I can link 'em together with you.

I need a hot slit mommy, to slip my salami into.
I must be over eager 'cause even your beaver will do!

Get it up, get it up, get it up, let's go..
Your butt is too slow..
Start hoppin' like a rabbit in the snow...
Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes, my Dear,
hot jiz in your ear.
I know it's not easy for you hangin' from that chandlier.

I need a new position for sperm worm fishin' with you..
I want to jam my putts in with both of my nutts in your shoe..

I feel my pecker tinglin' balls are jinglin' too,
C'mon and be so pleasant while I pump my present in you!


Spaw


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Brendy
Date: 25 Nov 07 - 12:09 AM

Anybody got the words for the Christmas Carol about the deceased Prussian psychiatrists: God Rest Ye Gerry Mentalmen?

B.


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Azizi
Date: 25 Nov 07 - 11:51 AM

Bob Bolton, regarding your 09:40 PM 25 Nov 02 post of this parody:

Santa Claus is dead -
They found him in a toy shop;
A bullet through his head.
A note pinned to his jacket,
Confirmed what papers tell:
That he was on the payroll
Of Toltoys and Mattel.
-snip-

Here's two children's rhymes that are similar:

Jingle Bells {Version #3}
{to the tune jingle bells}
Dashing through the snow
on a pair of broken skis
over the hills we go
crashing into trees
{bam bam bam}
the snow is turning red
I think I might be dead
Oh no! I'm in the hospital
with needles in my head
Jingle bells jingle bells
Santa is dead
because Rudolph took a 22
and shot him in the head
Oh, Barbie girl barbie girl
tried to save his life.
But Ken from Mexico
stabbed her with a knife.
-Alexandra, age 13 years {Canada}; collected by Azizi Powell; 10/24/2005

****

Jingle bells, jingle bells, Santa's lying dead.
Teletubbies Teletubbies stabbed him in his head.
Barbie girl, Barbie girl tried to save his life.
Action Man, Action Man stabbed him wi' a knife ...

http://www.davidrowan.com/2005/05/times-magazine-have-children-really.html

[Children's rhymes/UK]

There may not be any connection between these two rhymes and the one you posted years ago. At the very least, they are all part of the "Santa Claus is dead" parody family.

****

For more children's Christmas parodies {some of which are collected from Mudcat threads}, visit these two pages of my website Cocojams:
Children's Parodies, and Teacher Taunts.


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: GUEST,actually Joe_F
Date: 25 Nov 07 - 09:14 PM

Hark, the herald angels sing:
Glory to the newborn Thing,
Who, because of radiation,
Will be cared for by the nation. -- E. Gorey

*

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
Oh, piss on thee, O Christmas tree.


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: GUEST,Jim
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 05:49 PM

I'm screaming at a white sheepdog;
One who is sitting in my chair.
It's a thing I'm dreading,
The way he's shedding,
And covering everything with hair.
I'm screaming at a white sheepdog
And should he visit you some night,
May his bark be worse than his blight,
And may all your furniture be white.

      -from the Prairie Home Companion Songbook

Have you heard Loudon Wainwrihgt III's SUDDENLY IT'S CHRISTMAS?

"Christmas comes but once a year, but it goes on for two months."


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Subject: We Wish You a Scary Christmas
From: JesseW
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 05:28 PM

We Wish You a Scary Christmas
parody of "We Wish you a Merry Christmas" by Nancy Fuller & Jesse Fuller Weinstein, written December 21, 2007

You may do whatever you like with this, as long as you credit us; or you may use this under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution license, version 3.0 or any later version.

Chorus:

We wish you a scary Christmas (3x)
and a crappy New Year!

Verses:

Good fighting we bring,
to those you call friends.
Good fighting on Christmas,
and a crappy New Year!

So give us a frigging break -- (pause), (3x)
and get out of here.

We won't leave because it's our house,
We won't leave because it's your house,
We won't leave because it's their house,
So we'll all stay right here.


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Amos
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 09:18 PM

Oh, Schadenfreude, Oh, Schadenfreude!


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Dec 07 - 02:13 AM

I always liked this one. Not so much a parody though.

Merry Christmas you suckers,
You miserable men,
That old festive season is with you again,
You'll be spending your money on cartloads of junk,
And from here to new year you'll be drunk as a skunk.

Merry Christmas you suckers,
It's perfectly clear,
That you fall for it all a bit sooner each year,
If it goes on like this you will find pretty soon,
That you're singing "White Christmas" as early as June.

This Christmas card racket,
Will cost you a packet,
Each season it seems to expand,
The cards are so clever,
Though nothing whatever,
To do with the subject in hand

You'll be taking the kids round to multiple stores,
To be frightened to death by some old Santa Claus,
Then its parties with spirits and vino and beer,
Merry Christmas you suckers,
And a happy new year.

Merry Christmas you suckers,
You bleary-eyed lot,
You'll never get rid of that headache you've got,
But I hope you feel splendid you certainly should,
With your stomachs distended with turkey and pud.'

Merry Christmas you suckers,
Jump into your cars,
Roar off to your neighbours,
To sink a few jars,
Though your vision is double just keep smiling through,
There are others in trouble a lot worse than you.

Beyond any question acute indigestion,
Will plague you and make you unwell,
You won't take the warning,
You'll wake up each morning,
Undoubtedly feeling like hell,

But stick to it suckers,
Go swallow a pill,
For this is the season of peace and goodwill,
While we patiently wait for that nuclear blast…
Merry Christmas you suckers, it may be your last.


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: GUEST,Mad Jock
Date: 22 Dec 07 - 04:07 AM

Angie Wright wrote a very good one, She announces it as a translation of GAUDETE but as dshe only did "o" level latin it may not mean what you think.

go to www.sky-web.net/taggartandwright/


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Subject: Lyr Add: RANDOLPH THE FLAT-NOSED REINDEER (Homer &
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 10:52 AM

Transcribed from the video at YouTube:


RANDOLPH THE FLAT-NOSED REINDEER
As sung by Homer & Jethro

Randolph the flat-nosed reindeer had a funny-lookin' snout,
So Santy cut his nose off, just to try an' smooth it out.
And when they sewed his nose on, Santy sewed it upside down.
Now every time the rain falls, poor ol' Randy nearly drowns.
Then one foggy Christmas eve, Santa came to say:
"Randolph, with your nose so flat, won't you tell me where I'm at?"
Then Randy took a deep breath and he looked so very strange.
"We're out behind the stockyards. How I wish the wind would change!"

Randy tried to hitch a ride one cold December day.
He jumped on the back of a Chevrolet and the backfire took his breath away.
Randolph the flat-nosed reindeer wished his nose would glow instead,
But it will never light up, 'cause his batteries were dead.

Randolph the flat-nosed reindeer!


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 12:11 PM

For those who are old enough to remember Stan Freberg, here is the transcript of his "Green Christmas," a record that came out

(Taken directly from Stan Freberg's book "It Only Hurts When I Laugh" by Eric Hullquist )
SCROOGE: (SINGING) Bah, humbug, everybody.
CHORUS: Good morning, Mr. Scrooge!
SCROOGE: Well, the meeting will come to order, if you please. Are all the advertising people represented here?
CHORUS: Everyone except Amalgamated Cheese!
MUSIC: OUT

SCROOGE: Well, if they're not here for the Christmas pitch, I can't help them find new ways of tying their product in to Christmas. That's why I'm chairman
of this board! Let's hear it for me!
CHORUS:   Hear, hear!
SCROOGE: All right, Abercrombie, what are your people up to?
ABERCROMBIE: Ahhh, same thing as every year. Fifty thousand billboards showing Santa Claus pausing to refresh himself with our product.
SCROOGE: Mmmmm, hmmm, well, I think the public has come to expect that and . . .
ABERCROMBIE: That's right. It's become tradition!
SCROOGE: You there, Crass, uhh, I suppose your company's running the usual magazine ads showing cartons of your cigarettes peeking out of the top of Santa's sack?
CRASS: Better than that! This year we have him smoking one.
SCROOGE: Um-hmmm...
CRASS: Yes. We've got Santa a little more rugged, too. Both sleeves rolled up and a tattoo on each arm. One of 'em says "Merry Christmas."
SCROOGE: What does the other one say?
CRASS: "Less tar!"
SCROOGE: Great stuff!
CRATCHET: But Mr.Scrooge...
SCROOGE: What? Who are you?
CRATCHET: Bob Cratchet, sir. I've got a little spice company over in East Orange, New Jersey. Do I have to tie my product in to Christmas?
SCROOGE: What do you mean?
CRATCHET: Well, I was just going to send cards out showing the three wise men following the Star of Bethlehem...
SCROOGE: I get it! And they're bearing your spices. Now that's perfect.
CRATCHET: No, no... no product in it. I was just going to say, "Peace on Earth... Good Will Toward Men."
VOICES:    MUMBLING IN BACKGROUND
MAN: Well, that's a peculiar slogan!
SCROOGE: Old hat, Cratchet! That went out with button shoes! You're a businessman . . . Christmas is something to take advantage of!
MUSIC:      PUNCTUATES
SCROOGE: A red and green bandwagon to jump on!
MUSIC:      PUNCTUATES
SCROOGE: A sentimental shot in the arm for sales! Listen!

MUSIC:      CYMBAL CRASH
CHORUS: Deck the halls with advertising,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
While you can be enterprising,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me
Four bars of soap,
Three cans of peas,
Two breakfast foods,
And some toothpaste on a pear tree!
On the fifth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me. . .
SCROOGE: Five tube-less tires!
CHORUS:   Fo-ur quarts of gin,
Three ci-gars,
Two cig-ar-ettes,
And some hair tonic on a pear tree!
(TEMPO CHANGES ROMANTICALLY)
Chest-nuts roasting. . .
ANNOUNCER: Sayyyy, Mother, as sure as there's an X in Christmas, you can be sure those are Tiny Tim Chestnuts roasting. Tin-y Tim Chestnuts are frill-bodied . . . longer lasting! This visible shell . . .
SOUND:      KNOCK-KNOCK
ANNOUNCER:    ...protects the nut! Now with X-K 29 added, for people who can't roast after every meal.
GIRL TRIO: Tin-ee Tim! Tin-ee Tim! Chest-nuts all the way!
ANNOUNCER: Tin-y Tim's roast hot... like a chestnut ought! And.. . they are
(ECHO) mild, mild, mild, mild.
ORCHESTRA:    PUNCTUATES

CHORUS:   Deck the halls with advertising,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
'Tis the time for merchandising,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Profit never needs a reason,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Get the money, it's the season,
Fa la la la la la la la la.

SCROOGE: Words to live by, Cratchet!
CRATCHET: For you, maybe. Can't you just wish someone merry Christmas, for the pure joy of doing it?
SCROOGE: Why? What's the percentage in that? Let me show you how to make Christmas work for you!

CHORUS:   We wish you a merry Christmas,
We wish you a merry Christmas,
We wish you a merry Christmas,
And please buy our beer!

SCROOGE: There you go, Cratchet! That's Christmas with a purpose.
CRATCHET: I know, but wait a minute. Don't you guys make enough profit the other eleven months? Christmas comes but once a year.
SCROOGE: Humph! Funny thing you should bring that up. That's exactly the point I was about to make. Hit it, boys!

SCROOGE: Christmas comes but once a year,
So you better make hay while the snow is falling,
That's opportunity calling you!
CHORUS:   Rub your hands, December's here,
What a wonderful time to be Glad and merry!
SCROOGE: Just so you're mercenary too!
CHORUS:   Buy an ad and show all the toys,
Show all the toys up on the shelf
SCROOGE: Just make sure that you get a plug,
You get a plug, In for yourself!
SCROOGE AND CHORUS:
Christmas comes but once a year,
So you better cash in,
While the spirit lingers,
It's slipping through your fingers,
Boy! Don't you realize
Christmas can be such a
Monetary joy!

CRATCHET: Well, I guess you fellows will never change.
SCROOGE: Why should we? Christmas has two s's in it, and they're both dollar signs.
CRATCHET: Yeah, but they weren't there to begin with.
SCROOGE:   Eh?
CRATCHET: The people keep hoping you'll remember. But you never do.
SCROOGE: Remember what?

CRATCHET: Whose birthday we're celebrating.
SCROOGE: Well, ....... don't get me wrong. The story of Christmas, in its simplicity, is a good thing - I'll buy that. It's just that we know a good thing when we see it.
CRATCHET: But don't you realize Christmas has a significance, a meaning.
SCROOGE: A sales curve! Wake up, Cratchet, it's later than you think.
CRATCHET: I know, Mr. Scrooge, I know.
CHORUS:   On the first day of Christmas,
The advertising's there, with
Newspaper ads,
Billboards too,
Business Christmas cards,
And commercials on a pear tree. . .
Jingles here, jingles there,
Jingles all the way.
Dashing through the snow,
In a fifty-foot coup-e
O'er the fields we go,
Selling all the way. . .
Deck the halls with advertising,
What's the use of compromising,
Fa la la la la la la la la.

MUSIC:      AS TRADITIONAL HYMNS ATTEMPT TO BREAK THROUGH THE MUSICAL ENDING, IT BUILDS TO A CRESCENDO. WE HEAR "JINGLE BELLS" PUNCTUATED WITH THE SOUND OF A CASH REGISTER RINGING UP SALES. ON THE LAST NOTE OF THE MUSIC, WE HEAR MONEY DROPPING IN AND THE CASH REGISTER SLAMMING SHUT!




© 1991-2009 - All Rights Reserved -

This article is copyrighted. Regular checks for plagarism and unauthorized use are maintained through Copyscape. Violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of United States and International law. Use of this article on any other website or offline publication can be arranged through The Merry Network.


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 12:14 PM

Apologies to the webmaster. My cellmate hit my arm as I was finishing the above note. It should have finished "in 1958."


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: GUEST,DareDevyl283
Date: 17 Dec 09 - 07:11 PM

12 Days of Eating (a parody of "12 Days of Christmas")

On the first day of eating, I'd really love to see
A big bowl of lemonade tea!

On the second day of eating, I'd really love to see
2 apple pies,
And a big bowl of lemonade tea!

On the third day of eating, I'd really love to see
3 kinds of stuffing,
2 apple pies,
And a big bowl of lemonade tea!

On the fourth day of eating, I'd really love to see
4 gingerbread men,
3 kinds of stuffing,
2 apple pies,
And a big bowl of lemonade tea!

On the fifth day of eating, I'd really love to see
5 turkey wings,
4 gingerbread men,
3 kinds of stuffing,
2 apple pies,
And a big bowl of lemonade tea!

On the sixth day of eating, I'd really love to see
6 candy canes
5 turkey wings,
4 gingerbread men,
3 kinds of stuffing,
2 apple pies,
And a big bowl of lemonade tea!

On the seventh day of eating, I'd really love to see
7 pounds of ham,
6 candy canes,
5 turkey wings,
4 gingerbread men,
3 kinds of stuffing,
2 apple pies,
And a big bowl of lemonade tea!

On the eighth day of eating, I'd really love to see
8 cookies baking,
7 pounds of ham,
6 candy canes,
5 turkey wings,
4 gingerbread men,
3 kinds of stuffing,
2 apple pies,
And a big bowl of lemonade tea!

On the ninth day of eating, I'd really love to see
9 rolls a-toasting,
8 cookies baking,
7 pounds of ham,
6 candy canes,
5 turkey wings,
4 gingerbread men,
3 kinds of stuffing,
2 apple pies,
And a big bowl of lemonade tea!

On the tenth day of eating, I'd really love to see
10 bananas splitting,
9 rolls a-toasting,
8 cookies baking,
7 pounds of ham,
6 candy canes,
5 turkey wings,
4 gingerbread men,
3 kinds of stuffing,
2 apple pies,
And a big bowl of lemonade tea!

On the eleventh day of eating, I'd really love to see
11 berries gelling,
10 bananas splitting,
9 rolls a-toasting,
8 cookies baking,
7 pounds of ham,
6 candy canes,
5 turkey wings,
4 gingerbread men,
3 kinds of stuffing,
2 apple pies,
And a big bowl of lemonade tea!

On the twelfth day of eating, I'd really love to see
12 cakes a-caking,
11 berries gelling,
10 bananas splitting,
9 rolls a-toasting,
8 cookies baking,
7 pounds of ham,
6 candy canes,
5 turkey wings,
4 gingerbread men,
3 kinds of stuffing,
2 apple pies,
And a big bowl of lemonade tea!

http://daredevyl283.wordpress.com


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: autoharper
Date: 17 Dec 09 - 07:43 PM

Tommy Smothers sang:

"You'd better not cry
You'd better not shout
Better not pout
I'm telling you why:
Santa Claus is dead"


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 18 Dec 09 - 11:25 AM

I' sorry - I just had to.....

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
By Randy Brooks
Sung by Elmo & Patsy Shropshire
Elmo was actually a veterinarian in northern California, so I'm told. He and his ex-wife, Patsy, did a number of novelty tunes, of which this is, by far, the most famous (or infamous):

CH: Grandma got run over by a reindeer
    walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
    You can say there's no such thing as Santa.
    But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog.
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd forgot her medication,
and she staggered out the door into the snow.

When we found her Christmas mornin,'
at the scene of the attack.
She had hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.

CH: Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
    walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
    You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
    but as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now were all so proud of Grandpa.
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' football,
drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle.

It's not Christmas without Grandma.
All the family dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?
(Send them back)

CH: Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
    walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
    You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
    But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now the goose is on the table.
And the pudding made of fig.
And a blue and silver candle,
that would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig.

I've warned all my friends and neighbors.
"Better watch out for yourselves."
They should never give a license,
to a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.

CH: Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
    walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve.
    You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
    but as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
    (Sing it Grandpa)

CH: (in deep baritone)
    Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
    walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve.
    You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
    but as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

    Merry Christmas


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Subject: Christmas parodies jingle bombs
From: GUEST, From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/jingle-bom
Date: 24 Nov 10 - 05:16 PM

Dashing through the sand
with a bomb strapped to my back.
I have a nasty plan
for Christmas in Iraq.

I got through checkpoint A,
but not through checkpoint B.
That's when I got shot in the ass
by the US Military!

Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
Mine blew up you see.
Where are all the virgins
that Bin Laden promised me?

Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
U.S. soldiers shot me dead.
The only thing that I have left
is this towel up on my head.


]

I used to be a man,
but every time I cough,
thanks to Uncle Sam,
my nuts keep falling off.

My bombing days are done.
I need to find some work.
Perhaps it would be much safer
as a convenient store night clerk.

Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
I think I got screwed.
Don't laugh at me because I'm dead
or I'll kill you!


This is ment to n ot affened any one so dont takeit seriously


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Subject: Lyr Add: RAGNAR THE FLAT-NOSED REINDEER (Boreson)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 29 Jun 11 - 06:36 PM

This version sung by Stan Boreson is very similar to the version called RANDOLPH THE FLAT-NOSED REINDEER, sung by Homer & Jethro—see their version above. I don't know whose version came first. "Ragnar" is appropriate since Boreson, as usual, sings his parodies in a Scandinavian accent. You can hear it at YouTube. Note that Boreson has an introductory verse and an extra bridge that are not in H&J's version.

RAGNAR THE FLAT-NOSED REINDEER
As sung by Stan Boreson (& Doug Setterberg)
This is track #06 on their album "I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas"

You know, Oscar, this song about Prancer and Vixen (Ya?)
Sounds mighty fine but the words need some fixin'. (Oh?)
Though the tune's the same,
We've changed old Rudolph's name. (To what, pray tell?)

We call him Ragnar the flat-nosed reindeer—had a funny-looking snout,
So Santa cut his nose off, just to try and smooth it out,
And when he sewed his nose on, Santa got it upside down.
Now ev'ry time the rain falls, poor old Ragnar nearly drowns.
Then one foggy Christmas eve, Santa came to say:
"Ragnar, with your nose so flat,
Won't you tell me where it's at?"
Then Ragnar took a deep breath, and he looked so very strange.
He said, "We're out behind the stockyards. Hoo! How I wish the wind would change!"

(It'll never get well if you pick it.)
(No. Now spell on your bells. Beautiful!)

Ragnar got a Christmas cold; he caught it in his snoot,
And ev'ry time he blew his nose, he found he blew his mind to boot.
Rooty-toot toot!

(Ragnar was a way-out reindeer.)

Ragnar the flat-nosed reindeer wished his nose would glow instead,
But it would never light up, 'cause all his batteries was dead!

(He burnt himself out at an early age.)


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Subject: RE: Christmas parodies
From: Padre
Date: 29 Jun 11 - 10:52 PM

Here's a parody involving Robin Hood and Santa

Chorus:

Robin got run over by a reindeer
Walking back from Sherwood Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Friar Tuck, we believe

All the outlaws down in Sherwood
Have switched their green wool tights to black.
Little John is on a bender,
Trying to find Santa and his pack.

We found Robin Christmas morning,
Lying face down in the snow.
He had hoofprints on his forehead
What an awful way for Robin Hood to go.

Lady Marian is crying,
And Will Scarlet's quite distressed
It's not Christmas without Robin
Nottingham's not really at its best.

Friar Tuck will do the requiem
"Dies Irae" will be sung
The gallant men who marched with Robin
Now will march with their bowstrings unstrung


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Mudcat time: 14 August 7:37 PM EDT

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