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My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?

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duuuude 29 Mar 03 - 10:17 AM
Padre 29 Mar 03 - 10:27 AM
katlaughing 29 Mar 03 - 10:30 AM
Jeri 29 Mar 03 - 10:37 AM
Amos 29 Mar 03 - 10:43 AM
Jeri 29 Mar 03 - 10:46 AM
Charley Noble 29 Mar 03 - 10:52 AM
gnu 29 Mar 03 - 11:02 AM
*daylia* 29 Mar 03 - 11:55 AM
SINSULL 29 Mar 03 - 11:59 AM
Rustic Rebel 29 Mar 03 - 04:38 PM
Deda 29 Mar 03 - 05:48 PM
Leadfingers 29 Mar 03 - 06:03 PM
Brían 29 Mar 03 - 06:28 PM
Jeri 29 Mar 03 - 06:40 PM
GUEST,skippy 29 Mar 03 - 06:56 PM
mg 30 Mar 03 - 01:04 AM
Mark Cohen 30 Mar 03 - 04:25 AM
BanjoRay 30 Mar 03 - 04:38 AM
duuuude 30 Mar 03 - 10:29 AM
Amos 30 Mar 03 - 11:03 AM
Amos 30 Mar 03 - 11:04 AM
*daylia* 30 Mar 03 - 11:18 AM
paulo 30 Mar 03 - 12:13 PM
Genie 30 Mar 03 - 12:50 PM
duuuude 31 Mar 03 - 11:42 AM
Mark Cohen 31 Mar 03 - 10:13 PM
GUEST,Les B. 31 Mar 03 - 10:34 PM
duuuude 01 Apr 03 - 01:40 PM
GUEST,the og 08 Feb 20 - 12:56 PM
EBarnacle 08 Feb 20 - 02:30 PM
GUEST,Jerry 08 Feb 20 - 07:41 PM
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Subject: BS: My First Parody, Whatd'ya Think?
From: duuuude
Date: 29 Mar 03 - 10:17 AM

This came to me the other day and I just needed to get it out. OK, I realize this may not be of the common genre to this board, but from what I've read here I know I can at least expect an honest opinion. Thanks for humoring me.

Evildoer (To the tune of "Desperado")

Evildoer, what have you done to our nation?
You've become an infestation in all that we love.
Your ways are ruthless, not carin what people are prayin,
you gotta hear what they're sayin before it's too late.

Don't you trade that blood for oil, boy,
and keep adding to our losses,
we lost enough back when this all began.
Seems we haven't learned from all the tears
that we aren't the world's bosses.
Are we destined to repeat it all again?

Evildoer, can't you see where we are headed,
the thing that we've dreaded, the evil is us.
We once were happy, but now the world seems to hate us,
it's never too late for us to give peace a chance.

When did all our plans for global peace
become plans for occupation?
Sending our best and brightest far away.
We could use the help right here at home
in our own beloved nation,
just What is our country really tryin to say?

Evildoer, your time will come to an end,
you'll be alone without friends to rally you through.
Then you may wake up and take a look in the mirror,
and much to your horror, the evildoer was you.


So, whatd'ya think, keep my day job?


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Subject: RE: BS: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: Padre
Date: 29 Mar 03 - 10:27 AM

Yes


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Subject: RE: BS: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: katlaughing
Date: 29 Mar 03 - 10:30 AM

Well-done! Scans really well and I like it, but I have to agree, ya gotta keep the day job...last I knew parody-writers didn't make much.:-)

kat


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Subject: RE: BS: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: Jeri
Date: 29 Mar 03 - 10:37 AM

I think you've expressed yourself well. One problem I see is that in a few places, there seem to be a lot of syllables, so the singer would have to rush through. For example "You've become an infestation" could be "You're an infestation."

I'm also not too fond of "Evildoer."
Note that this is NOT a knee-jerk reaction to your opinion although I'm sure some folks will happily be indignant and use it as an excuse to get off on politics again, as opposed to the song. (This is a pre-emptive strike, but I'd bet money it's still gonna happen.)
The word's just odd-sounding - at least to me (others may not have a problem). I'm not sure what would work better. "Fearless Leader" scans, but that's just too Bullwinkle.
As to the knee-jerk reaction, you DO have to take it into account. 'Evildoer' is so strong that the knee-jerk reaction may turn otherwise sympathetic folks off.


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Subject: RE: BS: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: Amos
Date: 29 Mar 03 - 10:43 AM

HEy, for a parody it's pretty good!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: Jeri
Date: 29 Mar 03 - 10:46 AM

Trying to further clarify what I meant by 'odd-sounding' - it seems to me that the song is powerful, serious and real, and I think of an 'evildoer' as the bad guy in campy fiction. This may very well be the way I hear the word and it's the perfect word for others.


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Subject: RE: BS: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 29 Mar 03 - 10:52 AM

Well, I agree that "evildoer" is over the top but so in my opinion is our president and his henchmen. Maybe the shoe fits. Well, he is kind of a heel. His soul's endangered...so sorry!

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: gnu
Date: 29 Mar 03 - 11:02 AM

Good job, but why the BS prefix ?


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Subject: RE: BS: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: *daylia*
Date: 29 Mar 03 - 11:55 AM

I like it, duuuude! And just thinkin ... if you're concerned about what Jeri said re "Evildoer" (I tend to agree), then maybe "Powermonger" would work?

Also, the third line "Your ways are ruthless, not carin what people are prayin", might be easier to sing (rhythmically) if you used the one-syllable word "folk" or "we" instead of "people".

You go, duuuude ... day job or no!

daylia


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Subject: RE: BS: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: SINSULL
Date: 29 Mar 03 - 11:59 AM

How about "Unelected"?


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Subject: RE: BS: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 29 Mar 03 - 04:38 PM

I think it was pretty good. I thought people sounded alright when singing it, folks didn't seem to fit as well. That's the part where you would be singing you got your reasons. People- you got- E-G.
Good thoughts behind your song duuuude.Peace. Rustic


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Subject: RE: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: Deda
Date: 29 Mar 03 - 05:48 PM

It's a good one! Works for me. Depends on what your day job is.


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Subject: RE: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: Leadfingers
Date: 29 Mar 03 - 06:03 PM

As someone who cant DO words at all I am impressed if that is your first effort.Like the whole idea and congratulations.Probably wont
steal this one though,as comic parodies are more my thing.Keep writing them though.


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Subject: RE: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: Brían
Date: 29 Mar 03 - 06:28 PM

I would just add that if "Evildoer" sounds too Bullwinkle, it's just taking the words right out of Dubya's mouth. Nice job.

Brían


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Subject: RE: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: Jeri
Date: 29 Mar 03 - 06:40 PM

I thought 'Fearless Leader' sounded too Bullwinkle. 'Evildoer' was too Dudley Doright, but if Duhbya said it, then it really WAS just me not getting it. Anyway, as a first effort, you should definitely not let it be your last!


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Subject: RE: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: GUEST,skippy
Date: 29 Mar 03 - 06:56 PM

parodies are a cancer on songs


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Subject: RE: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: mg
Date: 30 Mar 03 - 01:04 AM

I don't think it is a parody but a real song. I would leave out the first verse entirely though and take out evildoer.

mg


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Subject: RE: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 30 Mar 03 - 04:25 AM

I like it! Of course, I'm prejudiced in that I write parodies. This is a good one. As far as the first word goes, from a stylistic poit of view I would prefer something closer to the original: "Big Bravado" or "Enchilada"...something like that (only better, of course). But hey, you could just stick with "Desperado"--it seems to fit.

Aloha,
Mark


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Subject: RE: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: BanjoRay
Date: 30 Mar 03 - 04:38 AM

How about Dubyado if it's a parody?
Ray


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Subject: RE: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: duuuude
Date: 30 Mar 03 - 10:29 AM

It's just that the word "Evildoer" has cracked me up since the first day I heard it. No real meaning behind it other than what the listener puts there for themselves. "Fearless Leader" has definite possibilities, though.

Thanks a bunch for all of the input, I was truly amazed! Very honest and constructive ideas just as I was hoping. And trust me, I will be keeping my day job, this creativity stuff only comes along once in awhile for me anyway.


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Subject: RE: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 03 - 11:03 AM

I like "Unelected -- why don't you come to your senses! Ya been smashin' up feces too long...."


A


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Subject: RE: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 03 - 11:04 AM

LOL -- that should be "FENCES", sorry!

A


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Subject: RE: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: *daylia*
Date: 30 Mar 03 - 11:18 AM

Ah Rustic, I was singin "what" on the E, and "people" (both syllables) on the G, which didn't work too well. So your way is "Not" on the B, "carin" (both syllables) on A, and "what" on the G, then "people" on E-G, right? Hmmmmmmm ... that does works better ...

Amos, but I LIKED the "smashin up feces!" :) That would fit in well on the Yaking it Weasy thread ...

daylia


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Subject: RE: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: paulo
Date: 30 Mar 03 - 12:13 PM

Is this a parody or have you written a new song that you have just happened to heve pinched a tune for?    If the tune had come from the tradition you could have claimed it as a new song albeit words duuuude tune trad.

Jerri - Bush the bastard fits.

paulo


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Subject: RE: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: Genie
Date: 30 Mar 03 - 12:50 PM

Well, dude, it's a pretty good parody -- of the serious type. The words do seem to spin off from the original song lyrics a lot. (To me, if they don't, it's not a parody, just a new song set to an old tune.)

And the choice of "Evildoer" has special irony in that it's turning Dubya's own rather archaic language back on him. (Yes, the word is strong and will turn off those who support the president and the war. But they probably would hate your parody, regardless.)


"Dubyarado" or "Desper-raider" would be more parodies of the original song title, though.

Anyway, do keep your day job if your music is limited to parodies. The only parodist that comes to mind right away as having made much money at it is Allan Sherman. And his parodies made you laugh, not cry or get mad.

Genie


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Subject: RE: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: duuuude
Date: 31 Mar 03 - 11:42 AM

Wow, and the feedback just keeps on comin, thank you all so much for your inputs. The original idea behind the words was to keep it all ambiguous enough to apply to most any "Evildoer", but will take a bit of re-wording. There's a good many great suggestions, maybe I'll work 'em in & re-post in a few days.

Actually, Genie, Allen Sherman probably had a large influence on me when growing up since my mother was a big fan of any type of humorous music and always played it around the house, I remember his music well.

Thanks Again,
Duuuude


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Subject: RE: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 31 Mar 03 - 10:13 PM

Oh,boy!
George with a W
Oh, boy!
Don't let him trouble you
Oh, boy
He knows what's best, don't ask questions, just join in the dance

Oh, boy!
Rumsfeld and Powell
Oh, boy!
Throw in the towel
Oh, boy
They'll bomb Iraq, then Korea, and then on to France! Oh, boy!

(apologies to the late Mr. Sherman)

Aloha,
Mark


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Subject: RE: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: GUEST,Les B.
Date: 31 Mar 03 - 10:34 PM

Duuude - why not keep Evil Doer, Fearless Leader, and all the other suggested "desperado" replacements - just start each new verse with one of them. Or, if you sing it a lot, switch them randomly each time. Keeps the audience on their toes.


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Subject: RE: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: duuuude
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 01:40 PM

Sounds like a cool idea, thanks Les.


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Subject: RE: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: GUEST,the og
Date: 08 Feb 20 - 12:56 PM

First entry (although this thread seems to have attracted little interest for a while)...be kind.

The Ballad of One-Term Donald or…Let’s Go No Trump
Bill Ogden (2020)        Tune = “Son of a Gambolier” (perhaps best recognized as “Ramblin’ Wreck from Georgia Tech”)

Donald Trump took to the stump and stole the U.S.A.
He’d rave and vent as President ’til kindness went away.
In time his Cab’net hosted only shill and n’er-do-well,
Trump behaved as Putin craved; the country went to hell.

Donald’s wall, as I recall, became his shining star,
Ol’ Mike Pence sat on his fence assenting from afar.
Take back your huddled masses, our doors are tightly shut,
No peace in sight unless you’re white; that’s the scuttlebutt.

Milania, her ma and pa, all called Slovenia home,
As immigrants they got their chance beneath the golden dome.
And now that they are settled, forget about the rest,
Just buy those frocks with cash from stocks and struggle to be best.

Donald ran Republican and took the party down,
McConnell’d back up Donald as he shut the Senate down.
Their only legislation, a tax break for the few,
Don and Mitch, hey, life’s a bitch; too bad for me and you.

Trump tried and tried, some say he lied, to get dirt on his foes,
Though quite in vain Ukrainian pressure points were chose.
Alas, the more he meddled, the worse it would become,
There you go, it’s quid pro quo, time to depose the bum.

Tragically magical, the process came unwound,
By house impeached, by Senate breached, consensus was not found.
A trial without witnesses seems to me uncouth,
Party line was, by design, more powerful than truth.

Now you and I can mount a try to make our country whole,
All it takes for all our sakes is eyes upon the goal.
Don’t leave the job to others, keep liberty afloat,
Avoid those ruts get off your butts let’s all get out and vote.


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Subject: RE: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: EBarnacle
Date: 08 Feb 20 - 02:30 PM

Think more Tom Lehrer.


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Subject: RE: My First Parody, Whatd'ya think?
From: GUEST,Jerry
Date: 08 Feb 20 - 07:41 PM

What makes a good parody song in general is an interesting question. I’ve penned good and bad ones in my time and to my mind, the original song needs to be well known with familiar lyrics, and the parody will use some of those original lyrics, but with some adjustment to alter their meaning to comic effect. Obviously some new lyrics are needed, but they shouldn’t stray too far from the original. More so than with non-comic songs, the rhyming pattern should be fairly elaborate (eg with internal rhymes) and strictly adhered to, ideally with some corny or excruciatingly bad rhymes in places, and the scansion should be precise throughout to enable occasional surprise comic words to be inserted where the scansion deliberately falters. Ideally there should be a joke or good play on words in each verse, with a good joke and or twist to the story at the end.

Few parodies tick all these boxes, but that’s often because they are not parodies of a particular song, but rather a comic critique that happens to use a familiar tune. Try this:

I was twenty one years when I lit this barbecue
I’m twenty two now and it’s still not cooked through
It’d be quicker to have stew
And the meat that was lean burns to brown
And it gives you chronic wind
And it rumbles in your glands

I threw my burger at a duck
And watched the cygnets run amok
And I never gave a f...urther thought
And the meat that was lean......etc.


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