Subject: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Leadfingers Date: 20 Mar 04 - 06:42 AM There doesnt seem to be a thread for this , though there are odd bits scattered through other threads. What triggered this was one in the El Paso Thread:- One night in the Wild West Town of El Paso I met a girl and I got shot and died. I once 'did' ten songs in a ten minute floorspot. Songs like :- The Gallant Frigate Amphritite Sank. Its one or two liners I am looking for , rather than two or three Verse stuff , and am interested in seeing what others Catters might know ,or have 'Written' |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Jeanie Date: 20 Mar 04 - 06:48 AM How about that old one: "I'll sing of Spiro Agnew, And all the good he's done." I always liked that one. Substitute any contemporary figure of your choice ! - jeanie |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Jeanie Date: 20 Mar 04 - 06:50 AM It was a dark and stormy night, And the Captain said to the mate: 'Antonio, tell us a yarn !' And the yarn went like this.... 'It was a dark and ....' Another of my favourites. - jeanie |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Flash Company Date: 20 Mar 04 - 09:23 AM Oh where have you been all day, Henry my son? OUT! Oh what did you do all day, Henry my son? NUTHIN! FC |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Micca Date: 20 Mar 04 - 09:25 AM LF how about these " Should Old acquaintance be forgot? Yes.." one of Liz the Squeaks " Jan Pearce,Jan Pearce lend I your grey mare No, you didnt bring back my lawnmower.." " and did those feet in ancient times?.....No |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Susan of DT Date: 20 Mar 04 - 03:05 PM (dick greenhaus here) We were 40 miles from Albany Forget it... |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Dead Horse Date: 20 Mar 04 - 04:53 PM As I walked out one evening clear, along the mossy banks. I stepped upon a mans bare bum, and a ladys voice said "Thanks" The song of the Vaasa We set sail on one fine day, And we sank to the bottom of the sea. This is the story of the old 49 Fastest locomotive on the Santa Fe line She left on time at a hell of a dash She got there safe, and she did not crash. My grandfathers clock was too big for the shelf So we sold it. Grey Funnel Line Dont mind the rain, or the rolling sea (Heeeeve!)(Hughie!)(Berrrt!) |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Crane Driver Date: 20 Mar 04 - 05:37 PM "The gallant frigate Araldite was stuck to Plymouth Sound" Andrew |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: GUEST,Gin Date: 20 Mar 04 - 06:17 PM Full fathom five thy father lies. His aqualung was the wrong size... |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Hrothgar Date: 20 Mar 04 - 11:20 PM Tom Pearce, Tom Pearce, lend me your grey mare, No! There was a wild colonial boy And the coppers shot him. The keeper did a-hunting go But he forgot his arrows. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Joe Offer Date: 20 Mar 04 - 11:37 PM Shortest cowboy song I know:
Since my horse died. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Dave Hanson Date: 21 Mar 04 - 04:06 AM Celtic cowboy song, I'm riding on the range, And my hurdies getting sore. eric [ hurdies being gaelic for buttocks ] |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Snuffy Date: 21 Mar 04 - 05:57 AM Matty Groves he was a prat He screwed Lord Arnell's wife. Lord Arnell caught him on the job And Matty lost his life. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Midchuck Date: 21 Mar 04 - 08:40 AM Learned from Mike Agranoff: Oh, I walked my Collie dog, Over hills and dales and bowers, But she would'na squat nor piddle Tho' we walked for hours and hours. Will ye go, Lassie, go... From an old '60's folk group - I forget which: Hangman, hangman, slack your rope Slack it for a while. I think I see my mother...GAKKKK! Peter. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Sooz Date: 21 Mar 04 - 10:56 AM From the pen of Les Barker: I have a bodhran dear Lisa dear Lisa I have a bodhran dear Lisa a bodhran Oh good dear Henry dear Henry dear Henry Oh good dear Henry dear Henry oh good With what shall I play it dear Lisa dear Lisa With what shall I play it dear Lisa with what With a penknife dear Henry dear Henry dear Henry With a penknife dear Henry dear Henry with a penknife Theres a hole in my bodhran dear Lisa dear Lisa Theres a hole in my bodhran dear Lisa a hole Oh good |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: GUEST,Billy Date: 21 Mar 04 - 01:01 PM MISTY Look at me, I'm as helpless as a kitten up a tree, Like a whistle that's lost it's pea. Like a one-legged man at an ass-kicking contest, that's me. LET'S DANCE (Tommy Roe) Hey, baby, won't you take a chance, I left my rubbers in my other pants, But, let's dance, etc. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Joybell Date: 21 Mar 04 - 05:22 PM Try to remember UMMMMM?? Joy |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: GUEST Date: 22 Mar 04 - 07:47 AM Unforgettable........ The gallant frigate Anthracite Ablaze on Plymouth Sound Are you going to Scarborough fair? Nope You looking for trouble? Well I'm not. Heartbeat, why do you miss... (clutch chest and collapse) Hello darkness my old friend I've bumped into th bed again. Stop me someone.... |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: GUEST Date: 22 Mar 04 - 11:11 AM I can see by your outfit that you are a cowboy You can see by my outfit that I'm a cowboy too You can see by our outfits that we are both cowboys So get a cowboy outfit and be a cowboy too. More as I remember them... |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: GUEST,Steve Date: 22 Mar 04 - 12:44 PM Give me the fishes, give me the loaves And leave the rest to me Give me a shady nook, give me a babbling brook And let the wine flow free Show me the multitude, queueing up for their food They'll be all right you'll see If their's anyone in doubt And you want to try me out Give me the fishes, give me the loaves And leave the rest to me. Words SPB 1989 |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: GUEST,Peter A Date: 22 Mar 04 - 12:48 PM Shortest finnish drinking song; "Now" second verse goes; "Hup" |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 22 Mar 04 - 07:28 PM A Drinking Song. Drink, Drink, Drink, (etc) (that's the verse, for as long as the music lasts!) Refrain! (then you drain your glasses!) Robin |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: JennyO Date: 22 Mar 04 - 08:37 PM Some poetry: There was movement at the station For the word had got around That the colt from old Regret had got away. So they went out and brought him back... The Oz adaptation of Jeanie's one: I'll sing of John Howard and the good things he's done... |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Charley Noble Date: 22 Mar 04 - 08:55 PM You stole my wife, you horse thief! Why do Scotsmen leave the country, Why do Scotsmen immigrate? They are following the whiskey, Being exported crate by crate! Hangman, hangman, stop your rope, I think..ULP! Cheerily, Charley Noble |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Flash Company Date: 23 Mar 04 - 03:55 AM Heard Pete Seeger sing the 'scotsman' one that Charley Noble quoted, also:- I pity the boss's son, I pity the boss's son, He rides around in a Cadillac The lousy son of a gun! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Liz the Squeak Date: 23 Mar 04 - 04:10 AM Another Buddy Holly one - All my life, I've been akissing Your left tit cos your right one's missing.... And a Jasper Carrott one, guaranteed to have them heaving in the aisles: I'm just wild about acne, acne grows wild about me, I'm just covered in gurgling zits, as far as the eye can see; They call me Mellow Yellow.... I'll get me coat.... LTS |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: GUEST Date: 23 Mar 04 - 05:53 AM That un-named guest up there was me, I don't know what happened to erase my moniker... I've got some more which I'll PM you or give you when I see you in due course. (too iffy to post doncha know) Splott Man |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Flash Company Date: 23 Mar 04 - 07:14 AM Sing a song of sixpence A pocket full of rye, Four and twenty Blackbirds baked in a pie, When the pie was opened The shrivelled birds just sat Saying 'Alright, a joke's a joke, what silly sod did that! FC |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Bat Goddess Date: 23 Mar 04 - 08:32 AM When John Henry was a little baby Sittin' on his daddy's knee, He picked up a hammer and a little piece of steel And said, "Gaga, googoo . . ." |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Splott Man Date: 23 Mar 04 - 11:51 AM Another Jasper Carrott one...(any tune)... Soap, Soap, Soap, Soap, Soap, Soap, Soap, Soap, .... just a few bars.... (It doesn't work so well with "chocolate") ----------- If I were the Holy Ghost And you were a lady, You could marry your carpenter, But it would be my baby. ------------- More Buddy Holly I've got crabs, You've got scabies, The cat's got fleas and the dog's got rabies, Oh boy. Splott Man (I've got me signature back) |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Liz the Squeak Date: 23 Mar 04 - 06:43 PM Take my hand, I'm a strange looking parasite..... I'll get me coat again. LTS |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Rapparee Date: 23 Mar 04 - 06:57 PM When John Henry was a little baby, Sittin' on his daddy's knee, His daddy picked him, threw him on the floor Said, "This baby's done wet on me, Lord Lord...." Down in the West Texas town of El Paso I ate some tortillas that made me get up and hurl. Diaaaaaaaaaaarrhea when the wind comes whippin' down the plains And it's sure is sweet To make the seat Before it fills up your new jeans.... As I walked down in the streets of Laredo As I walked down in Laredo one day I slipped in some dog poop and stained my white linen And to clean it the laundry charged more than my pay. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: JennyO Date: 23 Mar 04 - 08:18 PM A version of Laredo by, I believe, the Smothers Brothers: As I walked out in the streets of Laredo, As I walked out in Laredo one day. I spied a young cowboy dressed in white linen. Dressed in white linen and cold as the clay. I see by your outfit that you are a cowboy, You see by my outfit I am a cowboy, too, We see by our outfits that we are both cowboys, And if you get an outfit you can be a cowboy too! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: dick greenhaus Date: 23 Mar 04 - 08:24 PM DigiTrad does have an entry called "Quickies"--to which these will be appended. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Rapparee Date: 24 Mar 04 - 09:38 AM As I walked out in the streets of Laredo, As I walked out in Laredo one day A f*****g big bus came up and ran o'er me, And flat was the fate of a squirrel such as I. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Dead Horse Date: 24 Mar 04 - 11:05 AM Temperance Songs Bring us a teapot and set it up right Bring us a tea pot to last out the night Bring us a tea pot, no matter how hot We'll drink it all up, boys, we'll drink the lot. Come all you bold heroes, give an ear to my song I'll sing in the praise of hot tea and a bun There's a nice little tea shoppe, over England doth roll Bring me the milk ladle, and the sugar bowl. Oh, herb tea, thou art my darling You keep me regular, both night and morning. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Dead Horse Date: 24 Mar 04 - 11:36 AM Songs Of War If you want to find the sergeant I know where he is, I know where he is, I know where he is. If you want to find the sergeant, I know where he is. Posted! With yer guns and drums and drums and guns, haroo, haroo With yer guns and drums and drums and guns, haroo, haroo With yer guns and drums and drums and guns the enemy nearly slew yer. My darling dear, you look so queer. Oh! Sorry, my mistake....... When I was a young man, I carried my pack Which is how come I got flat feet...... Oh Mrs McGrath, the sergeant said. Would you like to make a soldier out of your son, Ted? NO! The Royal Oak or 23rd February (you've got to know this one:-) On the 23rd of February, the weather was very foggy........ |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: GUEST Date: 25 Mar 04 - 08:41 AM Oh Ellan Vannin, lost in the Ship Canal... The first good joy that Mary had, It was "The Joy of Sex"... Her eyes they shone like diamonds, She walked like the queen of the land, And her knickers they hung round her ankles, She'd snapped her elastic band. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: GUEST,Buddy Horny Date: 25 Mar 04 - 10:36 AM All of my life, I've been kissin, Your left tit cos the right one's missin, Oh boy |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Schantieman Date: 25 Mar 04 - 10:55 AM Last night at the Everyman, Hughie Jones said, "I'll do the Ellen Vannin. That always goes down well!" S |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: weerover Date: 25 Mar 04 - 11:57 AM "Haemoglobin, oh my darling, when the lights are soft and low..." Don't quite know why that comes to mind when reading all of the above. wr. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: GUEST,Forsh Date: 25 Mar 04 - 03:49 PM With easter comming up, how about this wee ditty... As sang by me and my old army mates, of 10 field squadron back in 1975 There is a green hill far away, without a city wall, where the dear lord was crucified, he died to save us all.... ....................... 1, 2, 3, FOR he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good... I'll get me coat as well, then? |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Forsh Date: 25 Mar 04 - 03:56 PM Ah, thats better, re-set the old cookie and I aint a guest no more! ANOTHER... Bend over lay down and let me in.. (Status Quo) Spread your lovely legs & lay my way... (I know, sexist..) AND... I gues there will be a full version of this one somewhere.. (Magic Moments) Remember the night, you fell in the shite, you had your best suit on, the one with the stripes, the one that you bought with embasy coupons,* Magic, moments, ... *Embasy ciggies had gift coupons back in the day when Fas were cool & good for you! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: GUEST,Sylvia Date: 19 May 04 - 04:25 AM I heard a lovely couple of lines to the tune of Give me Sunshine (of Morcambe and Wise fame): "Give me heartburn, give me piles, give me tapeworms, miles and miles...". Does anyone know the rest (if there is any more, that is)? |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Mark Cohen Date: 19 May 04 - 05:52 AM I like Joybell's, and you might even be able to improve it by leaving off the last phrase: "Try to remember..." followed by a puzzled, vacant look, gazing upwards, hand cupping chin... Aloha, Mark PS The real trick is to do it while keeping a straight face! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: GUEST,Larry K Date: 19 May 04 - 09:21 AM Jeff Rantzer did a cute short parody of "Moonshadow" which went "I'm being followed by a state trooper, state trooper state trooper" A lot of Streets of Lardeo parodies. I wrote this one about the donut competition in Canada between Tim Horton and Robins Donuts. In London Ontario just south of Victoria Park there was a Robins Donuts on Horton street. I thought- why would they do that so I wrote the parody. Sing Out promised to publish it but never did. I noticed recently that the Robins Donuts is out of Business on Horton street, but that a new Tim Hortons has been build. As I walked out the streets of London As I walked out on London one day I spied a Tim Hortons and the Street it said Robin The street it said Robin as clear as the day Now I like Tim Hortons if that is important But give me the Robin's for their donuts are the best Take me to a near Robin's and don't just start sobbin Its over on Horton Street just to your west I see from your laughter you think its quite funny These words I did say as I ckearkt walked by Tim Hortons on Robins and Robins on Horton I was dazed and confused and I donut know why The dairy queen's sweet, it's over on King Street I just stop why when I am downtown And over on Queen street a Burger King outlet Where night clubs and pawn shots and drag queens abound Go write a letter to the London coucil And try to explain any logic in this Route 401 due east I am heading For a town south of Guelph by the name of Paris |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: Big Al Whittle Date: 19 May 04 - 03:51 PM heard in a majorca folk club As I went out in the Plaza Majeor Walking out the plaza one day I saw a young fellow - a wearing sunglasses And unto me the young fellow did say I see by your camera, you are a tourist Oh I have a camera and sunglasses too But I've got diarrhoea And I caught it here So you better stand back Or get covered in poo |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: wigan Date: 19 May 04 - 04:32 PM one i wrote cos i can't sing, tune hole in the elephants bottom i went to join a folk club ambitions at singing i'd got em but when i started to croon it was so out of tune that the audience said it was rotten. plenty more where that came from, but i've already got my coat |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: beardedbruce Date: 19 May 04 - 04:45 PM From an Alan Sherman album... Shticks Of One Kind And Half A Dozen Of The Other [parody of "Molly Malone"] She wheels her wheelbarrow Through streets that are narrow, Her barrow is narrow, her hips are too wide. So wherever she wheels it, The neighborhood feels it, Her girdle keeps scraping the homes on each side. In Dublin's fair city, Where girls are so pretty, My Molly stands out 'cause she weighs 18 stone. (That's 256 pounds.) I don't mind her fat--but, It's not only that--but, She's cockeyed and muscle-bound, Molly Malone. [parody of "Auld Lang Syne"] I know a man, his name is Lang, And he has a neon sign. And Mister Lang is very old, So they call it Old Lang's Sign. [parody of "Billy Boy"] Oh what have you done, Billy Sol, Billy Sol. Oh what have you done, charming Billy. You took almost every cent From the U.S. Government, Which you spent on fertilizer, which is silly. [parody of "Mary-Anne"] All day, all night, Cary Grant. That's all I hear from my wife, is Cary Grant. What can he do that I can't? Big deal, big star, Cary Grant. [parody of "On The Banks Of The Wabash" by George J. Gaskin] Oh the moon is bright tonight upon the car wash. So I'm having my Volkswagen washed again. But the way things go with me, the way my luck is, Just as soon as they're finished, it will rain. [parody of "On Top Of Old Smokey" by The Weavers] On top of Old Smokey, All covered with hair, Of course I'm referring To Smokey The Bear. [parody of "Aura Lee"] Every time you take vaccine, Take it orally. As you know the other way Is more painfully. [parody of "Grandfather's Clock" by The Haydn Quartet] My grandfather's clock was the best ever made By the Timex company. Just like the clock John Cameron Swayze displayed Last night on the old TV. Oh it works under water so perfectly, And still makes a ticking sound. Which my grandfather tried only this afternoon, And that's how the old man drowned. [parody of "Comin' Thru' The Rye" by Nellie Melba] Do not make a stingy sandwich. Pile the cold cuts high. Customers should see salami Coming through the rye. [parody of Stephen Foster's "Polly Wolly Doodle"] Oh I diet all day and I diet all night, It's enough to drive me bats. Got no gravy or potatoes, 'Cause the whole refrigerator's Fulla polyunsaturated fats. Fare thee well, Metrecal, And the others of that ilk. Let the diet start tomorrow, 'Cause today I'll drown my sorrow In a double malted milk. [parody of "Down By The Riverside"] When you go to the delicatessen store, Don't buy the liverwurst. Don't buy the liverwurst. Don't buy the liverwurst. I repeat what I just said before, Don't buy the liverwurst. Don't buy the liverwurst. Oh buy the corned beef if you must, The pickled herring you can trust, And the lox puts you in orbit AOK. But that big hunk of liverwurst Has been there since October First, And today is the Twenty-Third of May. So when you go to the delicatessen store, Don't buy the liverwurst. Don't buy the liverwurst. Don't buy the liverwurst. It'll make your insides awful sore. Don't buy the liverwurst. Don't buy the liverwurst. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Short Songs/Parodies From: LindsayInWales Date: 19 May 04 - 07:13 PM The boy stood on the burning deck When all but he had fled... TWIT !! |
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