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Christmas Parodies I

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Banjer 02 Dec 00 - 01:14 AM
Haruo 02 Dec 00 - 01:47 AM
Haruo 02 Dec 00 - 01:52 AM
bill\sables 02 Dec 00 - 05:40 AM
bill\sables 02 Dec 00 - 05:43 AM
MARINER 02 Dec 00 - 06:26 AM
sophocleese 02 Dec 00 - 11:04 AM
Clinton Hammond2 02 Dec 00 - 12:48 PM
John P 02 Dec 00 - 04:29 PM
Haruo 02 Dec 00 - 04:31 PM
Haruo 02 Dec 00 - 04:35 PM
Zebedee 02 Dec 00 - 04:57 PM
sophocleese 02 Dec 00 - 06:38 PM
John Routledge 02 Dec 00 - 06:53 PM
Stewart 02 Dec 00 - 07:31 PM
GUEST,JennieGwhohasnowresethercookie.. 02 Dec 00 - 09:05 PM
GUEST,JennieGagain 02 Dec 00 - 09:06 PM
Bill D 02 Dec 00 - 09:12 PM
Ebbie 03 Dec 00 - 01:16 AM
catspaw49 03 Dec 00 - 01:37 AM
Banjer 03 Dec 00 - 03:45 AM
Sooz 03 Dec 00 - 05:40 AM
GUEST,Reggie Miles 03 Dec 00 - 07:24 AM
John P 03 Dec 00 - 08:19 AM
reggie miles 03 Dec 00 - 09:55 AM
Banjer 03 Dec 00 - 10:22 AM
dick greenhaus 03 Dec 00 - 11:11 AM
Snuffy 03 Dec 00 - 01:20 PM
Liz the Squeak 03 Dec 00 - 04:50 PM
Bernard 03 Dec 00 - 05:00 PM
Abby Sale 04 Dec 00 - 12:20 AM
GUEST,PoohBear 04 Dec 00 - 12:27 AM
GUEST,Al 04 Dec 00 - 01:31 AM
Seth 04 Dec 00 - 04:10 AM
Bernard 04 Dec 00 - 09:18 AM
MMario 04 Dec 00 - 10:06 AM
dick greenhaus 04 Dec 00 - 10:17 AM
GUEST,John Leeder 04 Dec 00 - 10:24 AM
Wolfgang 04 Dec 00 - 10:33 AM
GUEST,Ed 04 Dec 00 - 11:22 AM
MMario 04 Dec 00 - 11:51 AM
MMario 04 Dec 00 - 12:14 PM
sophocleese 04 Dec 00 - 12:17 PM
GeorgeH 04 Dec 00 - 12:23 PM
MMario 04 Dec 00 - 12:34 PM
Bill Hahn//\\ 04 Dec 00 - 07:15 PM
weststar 04 Dec 00 - 07:59 PM
Banjer 04 Dec 00 - 08:33 PM
GUEST,Fibula Mattock 05 Dec 00 - 10:16 AM
Andrea 05 Dec 00 - 05:12 PM
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Subject: Christmas Parodies
From: Banjer
Date: 02 Dec 00 - 01:14 AM

Ah it's that time of year again! It's beginnig to look a lot like Christmas (there's a song in there somewhere) You folks in the Northern lands have snow on the ground to tell you that Christmas time is almost here. In the South we gauge how close Christmas is by how many storage trailers are stacked up behind our local Wal-Mart. This is also the time of year that many of us start singing some of the Christmas carols we learned in our youth. I'm talkin the really good ones, not the goody two shoes versions that we had to learn in school. One that comes to mind is the old favorite from the time when Alvin and Theodore were making their presence known:

Chipmunks roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost picking at his nose
Santa came down the wrong chimmeny again
That's the way shit goes....

Do any others come to mind? Share them with us all in the spirit of the season...


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: Haruo
Date: 02 Dec 00 - 01:47 AM

I like Deck Us All (which is in the Digitrad).

Liland


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: Haruo
Date: 02 Dec 00 - 01:52 AM

And my dad always sang something that went "Hark the herald angels sing, Beecham's pills are just the thing! One for man and two for child, oh, they work so meek and mild." (I don't recall that it went beyond that point, and it's not all that exciting as it stands but may have possibilities as a base on which to build.) He was a Baptist minister whose musical career began as a high-school student at church camp singing a falsetto "Bird in a Gilded Cage".

See recent thread on Tom Lehrer for link to his Xmas outrage.

Liland


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: bill\sables
Date: 02 Dec 00 - 05:40 AM

Hi Liland the pone you are probablt thinking of is one I learned at school but not from the teachers

Hark the herald angels sing
Beechams pills are just the thing
Move ye gently meek and mild
Two for an adult one for a child
Regular administration
just the thing for constipation
How can man to are aspire
When his soul is not on fire
How can man to atr aspire
when his hole is not on fire

Bill


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: bill\sables
Date: 02 Dec 00 - 05:43 AM

My spelling is shit the above words are supposed to read "the one you are probably thinking of "


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: MARINER
Date: 02 Dec 00 - 06:26 AM

To my mind the best Christmas parody of all time is Frank Kelly's ( Father Jack of Fr.Ted fame) parody on the Twelve Days of Christmas called I think, Christmas Countdown. It actually topped the charts in Ireland on its first release and also charted on subsequent releases. I don't know if its still available but if it is,get and listen, its probably one of the funniest parodies ever put on vinyl. Mariner


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: sophocleese
Date: 02 Dec 00 - 11:04 AM

We three kings of Orient are
Smoking on a trick cigar.....BANG!!

We two kings of Orient are
Smoking on a trick cigar.....BANG!!

I a king of Orient are
Smoking on a trick cigar.....BANG! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Silent night, holy night.....


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Subject: Lyr Add: SANTA IS RETIRING (parody)
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 02 Dec 00 - 12:48 PM

SANTA IS RETIRING

They passed a law at Yule Tide
You have to stop work at 65
So Santa is retiring this year
He tried to hang on but what could he do
Someone found out he's 402
So Santa is retiring this year

The women's groups were saying
That he should be a her
Animal rights groups say his suit
Should not be trimmed with fur

It ain't fair, it ain't right
To fire a guy cause his hair is white
But Santa is retiring this year
I guess he'll live Sure he'll be O.K.
Red's not his colour anyway
So Santa is retiring this year

They won't give him a pension
It's makes you want to cry
They say he only worked one day
So he doesn't qualify

Of all the cut-backs it's the last straw
They're down sizing Santa Claus
Santa is retiring this year
In the future I guess we'll
All have to sit on Jean Chretien's knee

Cause Santa is retiring and they won't be rehiring
In Canada itself where they're cutting back on elf-care
Santa is retiring this year

To the tune of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

;-)


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: John P
Date: 02 Dec 00 - 04:29 PM

I have a hazy memory of singing this in high school:

"Angels, we have heard, get high
They get high, so why can't I?"

We never got around to finishing it . . .


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Subject: bill/sables, what's that other word?
From: Haruo
Date: 02 Dec 00 - 04:31 PM

Thanks for your version of

Hark the herald angels sing
Beechams pills are just the thing

but what is the word before "aspire" in

How can man to are aspire
When his soul is not on fire, ... and
How can man to atr aspire
when his hole is not on fire

Eh?

Liland


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: Haruo
Date: 02 Dec 00 - 04:35 PM

Here in Seattle we just got through the anniversary of our WTO uproar with a minimum of renewed violence, and the pastor (I'm posting from the church computer, we're Hanging the Greens today) who is a Bush Republican type was just singing snatches (all he knows) of a "Silver Bells" parody that includes the line "it's rioting time in the city". He says it dates from last year. Anybody know the whole thing?

Liland


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: Zebedee
Date: 02 Dec 00 - 04:57 PM

"Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin flew away"

Not great, not amusing, but a childhood memory...


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: sophocleese
Date: 02 Dec 00 - 06:38 PM

Chorus for The First Noel

No ale, no beer, no wine, no stout,
Born is the king with his shirt hanging out.

That's all I was taught, its possible there is more but my older brothers wouldn't teach it to me.


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: John Routledge
Date: 02 Dec 00 - 06:53 PM

While shepherds washed their socks by night - All seated round the pot - The angel of the Lord came down - And scoffed the blooming lot.

To the tune While shepherds watched their flocks by night.

Happy childhood !!

Geordie Broon


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Subject: Lyr Add: GOD REST YE UNITARIANS (parody)
From: Stewart
Date: 02 Dec 00 - 07:31 PM

Here's one for all you Unitarians.
GOD REST YE UNITARIANS

God rest ye Unitarians, let nothing you dismay,
Remember there's no evidence there was a Christmas Day,
When Christ was born just is not known, no matter what men say.

Glad tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact.

There was no star of Bethlehem, there was no angel song,
There could have been no wisemen for the journey was too long,
The stories in the Bible are historically wrong.

Glad tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact.

Much of our Christmas custom comes from Persia and from Greece,
From solstice celebrations of the ancient middle east,
We know our so-called holiday is but a pagan feast.

Glad tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact.

Cheers, S. in Seattle



Unitarian parodies: https://www.uua.org/files/documents/stew-dev/singing_green.pdf
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: GUEST,JennieGwhohasnowresethercookie..
Date: 02 Dec 00 - 09:05 PM

G'day all,
We used to sing this here in Oz when I was a fair bit younger:
While shepherds washed their socks by night
All seated on the ground
A bar of Sunlight soap
And bubbles floated round
My kids had one to "Deck the Halls" too, but I can't remember it all - something to do with burning the school down!
Bah humbug
JennieG


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: GUEST,JennieGagain
Date: 02 Dec 00 - 09:06 PM

Sorry - the third line should have read
A bar of Sunlight soap came down
Fingers typing quicker than brain thinking...
JennieG


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Dec 00 - 09:12 PM

and who remembers Walt Kelly taking many weeks of manipulating story lines in "Pogo" to build up to the punch line...

"yes, Santa Claus, there IS a Virginia"?


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: Ebbie
Date: 03 Dec 00 - 01:16 AM

Liland, since Bill hasn't got back to us yet, in context it looks like the word in both cases should be 'art'.

Ebbie


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Subject: Lyr Add: WALKING 'ROUND IN WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR^^^
From: catspaw49
Date: 03 Dec 00 - 01:37 AM

WALKING 'ROUND IN WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR
(Tune: Walking In a Winter Wonderland)

Lacy things the wife is missin'
Didn't ask for her permission
I'm wearin' her clothes, silk pantyhose
Walkin' round in woman's underwear

In the store there's a teddy
With little straps like spagetti
It hold me in tight, like handcuffs at night
Walkin' round in woman's underwear

In the office there's a guy named Melvin
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown
He'll say are you ready, I'll say whoa man
Let's wait until the wife is out of town

Later on if you wanna
We can dress like Madonna
Put on some eyeshade and join the parade
Walkin' round in woman's underwear
Walkin' round in woman's underwear
Walkin' round in woman's underwear

----A personal favorite.

Spaw ^^^ [grin]


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Subject: Lyr Add: CHRISTMAS IN VIETNAM / JUNGLE BELLS
From: Banjer
Date: 03 Dec 00 - 03:45 AM

If my HTML works right this should show up as verse and chorus. Otherwise please use the imagination and sort it out.

CHRISTMAS IN VIETNAM
Jungle Bells

Dashing through the mud, in a Jeep that should be junk,
O'er the roads we go, half of us are drunk.
Wheels on dirt roads bounce, making asses sore,
Lord I'd sooner go to hell than finish out this tour.

CHORUS: Jungle bells, mortar shells, VC in the grass,
We'll get no Merry Christmas cheer until this year has passed,
Jungle bells, mortar shells, VC in the grass,
Take your Merry Christmas cheer and shove it up your ass.

Christmas time is here, as everybody knows,
People think it's dear, GI's think it blows,
All at home are gay, children are at play,
While we are stuck out here, so very far away. CHORUS

The moral of this song, it's plain as it can be,
Please no midnight carols sing and screw your Christmas tree.
There's one thing left to say, before we have to leave,
Vietnam is not the place, to be on Christmas eve. CHORUS


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Subject: Lyr Add: THE CHRISTMAS FOOD HYGIENE CAROL
From: Sooz
Date: 03 Dec 00 - 05:40 AM

Here's my favourite:
THE CHRISTMAS FOOD HYGIENE CAROL
©John Stothard and lan Clarke 1987

Good King Wenceslas looked out on the feast of Steven
Ever since he's been in bed with his insides heaving
He didn't cook his turkey right, he let the bugs keep growing
It didn't cook right through you see, and now it's got him go-o-oing

God rest you merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay,
Though some of you may well be ill soon after Christmas day.
If you don't thaw your meat right out, the bugs will make you pay,
Oh Ignore our warnings if you dare, if you dare,
Oh, ignore our warnings if you dare.

On the worst day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Food Poisoning, a dose of trots, pains in the tum
A very sore head,
And a week in the infirmary.

Dashing through the snow, rushing to the loo
Through the house we go, heaving all the way
It really isn't fair, if only we had known
If the trifle had been in the fridge, the bugs would not have grown.
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
Oh how cruel it is to have the runs on Christmas day
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
Use the fridge to keep food cool, stay safe on Christmas day

When you cook your Christmas fare, please follow the instructions
If you don't you may end up with terrible constrictions
May we remind you one and all that care with food is vital
Ignore our warnings if you will, the danger's intestinal.

Take heed and have an excellent festive season!


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Subject: Lyr Add: OH COME GET A FACE-FULL (parody)
From: GUEST,Reggie Miles
Date: 03 Dec 00 - 07:24 AM

A little ditty I whipped up in honor of the Christmas feast. Sung to the tune of Oh Come All Ye Faithful-

OH COME GET A FACE-FULL

Oh come get a face-full.
Christmas dinner's ready.
Oh come eat, oh come eat, the turkey is done.
Potatoes and dressing, all smothered with gravy.
Eggnog and Christmas cookies,
pumpkin pie with whipped cream,
eat until your pants scream,
too tiiiiight, no more!


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: John P
Date: 03 Dec 00 - 08:19 AM

I can only remember the first line of this. Does anyone know any more? It was fairly popular around where I grew up in Michigan.

Good King Peptic Juice looked out
At the feast I'd eaten


P.S. I see there are some other folks from Seattle posting to this thread. Liland, are you at Fremont Baptist? I spend my days a couple of blocks over at Dusty Strings. Small world, huh? Reggie, is that you? Bluesman, formerly of Strangers With Candy? Stewart, I liked the Unitarian song -- it reminds me of the old joke that says the only time God gets mentioned in the Unitarian church is when the janitor accidently kicks the mop bucket over.

John Peekstok (of Telynor), Seattle


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: reggie miles
Date: 03 Dec 00 - 09:55 AM

Hey John! Happy Holidaze to you and Anna!


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: Banjer
Date: 03 Dec 00 - 10:22 AM

Yes,there are some really good parodies in here so far. I have to wonder though, is Catspaw telling us more than we really ever wanted to know about him? But hey, I guess if it's a good fit and there is nothing to put into a bind then what the heck, if it feels good.....etc., etc.....


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 03 Dec 00 - 11:11 AM

If you search DigiTrad for @parody @Xmas, you'll get 20 hits.

For a variant of Beecham's Pills, try a search for Ovaltine.


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Subject: Lyr Add: WHILE SHEPHERDS WASHED THEIR SOCKS BY...
From: Snuffy
Date: 03 Dec 00 - 01:20 PM

Yet another version - we used to sing:
While shepherds washed their socks by night
All seated round the tub
The angel of the Lord came down
And they began to scrub.

Not forgetting:
Good King Wenceslas knocked a bobby senseless
Right through Woolworth's window.
Up came a copper with a rusty gun
"Right, you beggar, I'll make you run"

Wassail! V


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 Dec 00 - 04:50 PM

My brother in law, then a military nurse with the RAMC, along with some "friends" once dressed an anatomy model up as Santa, stuck it in a wheelchair and wheeled it round the German hospital they were working in at the time, singing carols. When they got to the Psychiatric ward they sang 'God rest ye, Jerry Mentalmen'.... needless to say they were on guard duty all over Christmas....

LTS


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Subject: Lyr Add: WE THREE KINGS OF LEICESTER SQUARE
From: Bernard
Date: 03 Dec 00 - 05:00 PM

We Three Kings of Leicester Square
Selling knick-knacks, tuppence a pair.
They're fantastic - no elastic!
Buy your granny a pair...

O-oh!
Star of wonder, star of night
Sit on a box of dynamite
Light the fuse, away we go
Around the world to Mexico...


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Subject: Lyr Add: DECK US ALL WITH BOSTON CHARLIE
From: Abby Sale
Date: 04 Dec 00 - 12:20 AM

Liland: Some of it is. Here's more.

This is my least expertise but I wanted to post in time for any who wish to refresh themselves on the simple text in time for any Christmas show they may perform.

I think it's time to post America's favorite - perhaps the entire English-speaking world and Australia's favorite Christmas song. This was thoroughly researched by several Members of rec.music.folk to get definitive. There were several emendations and popular renditions have, of course, been subject to much variation through the Folk Process. This is the most widely available version:

(My ex-ex-ex-brother-in-law, Charlie from Boston's favorite song, for some reason.)
 

Deck us all with Boston Charlie,
Walla Walla, Wash., an' Kalamazoo!
Nora's freezin' on the trolley,
Swaller dollar cauliflower alley'garoo!

Don't we know archaic barrel,
Lullaby lilla boy, Louisville Lou?
Trolly Molly don't love Harold,
Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!

Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Polly wolly cracker n' too-da-loo!
Donkey Bonny brays a carol,
Antelope Cantaloupe, 'lope with you!

Hunky Dory's pop is lolly gaggin' on the wagon,
Willy, folly go through!
Chollie's collie barks at Barrow,
Harum scarum five alarum bung-a-loo!

Deck us all in bowls of barley,
Hinky dinky dink an' polly voo!
Chilly Filly's name is Chollie,
Chollie Filly's jolly chilly view halloo!

Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Double-bubble, toyland trouble! Woof, Woof, Woof!
Tizzy seas on melon collie!
Dibble-dabble, scribble-scrabble! Goof, Goof, Goof!

  From the comic strip "Pogo" by Walt Kelly.
There were several revisions - this one as printed
in Outrageously Pogo, © 1985, Simon & Schuster.


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: GUEST,PoohBear
Date: 04 Dec 00 - 12:27 AM

From the SCA collection:

Silent knight, unconscious knight,
On the ground, lost the fight.
Mighty backhand from a broad sword.
Wielded by a white belted lord.
Sleep in heavenly peace. . .

Or. . .

We came upon a midnight clear and battered down the gates.
We stormed the halls and climbed the walls and broke up all the plates.
We burned the tapestries, beds, and chairs until we'd burned them all.
And when we'd burned all else in sight, we went and burned down the hall!


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Subject: Lyr Add: OH, CHRISTMAS TREE
From: GUEST,Al
Date: 04 Dec 00 - 01:31 AM

Here's one we made up to Oh, Christmas Tree

Oh Christmas tree Oh Christmas tree
Your loveliness amuses me
Oh Christmas tree Oh Christmas tree
Your days are numbered, can't you see?
You once were green but now you're brown
Your needles lying on the ground
You wonder why you're still around?
Better kindling can't be found!

p.s. Anybody got the words and chords to "Frosty the snowman"?


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: Seth
Date: 04 Dec 00 - 04:10 AM

My family has been singing "Deck Us All with Boston Charlie" for years, but my wife insists there is yet another Pogo carol " Good King Sauerkraut", but she can't recall the lyrics, if there were any. I say it was an extended dialouge between Albert, Churchy and Pogo about why good king Sauerkraut didn't invite the guy in from the cold, or give him some turkey, or something besides walk around with him in the snow, picking up sticks. YOu do that with the homeless people where I used to live, you might get your lights punched out. Anyway, does anyone know it? My kids always favored Alan Sherman's "Twelve Days of Christmas." Seth from China


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Subject: Lyr Add: HARK! THE JELLY BABIES SING
From: Bernard
Date: 04 Dec 00 - 09:18 AM

Hark! The Jelly Babies sing
Beecham's Pills are just the thing!
Safe, effective, strong yet mild
Two for an adult, one for a child
If you want to go tp Heaven
Take a dose of six or seven
If you want to go to Hell
Take the bloody box as well!
Hark! The Jelly Babies sing
Beecham's Pills are just the thing!

That's the version I know...


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: MMario
Date: 04 Dec 00 - 10:06 AM

So - would this be the place to post "Boris the blue-balled reindeer"?

or "What do you do with a Christmas turkey?"


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 04 Dec 00 - 10:17 AM

I don't recall that Good Kimg Sauerkraut ever got completed. As I recall,

Good king Sauerkraut went out Om his feets uneven. When the snoo lay all about....

And here someone would ask "What's snoo?" And be asnwered, "NBothing much. What's snoo with you?"


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: GUEST,John Leeder
Date: 04 Dec 00 - 10:24 AM

The Kipper Family have a terrific album of Christmas carol parodies, "Arrest These Merry Gentlemen".


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: Wolfgang
Date: 04 Dec 00 - 10:33 AM

Christmas comes but once a year (or: Thank Christ for Christmas

Wolfgang


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: GUEST,Ed
Date: 04 Dec 00 - 11:22 AM

MMario, post "What do you do with a Christmas turkey", please!


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Subject: Lyr Add: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A CHRISTMAS GOOSE?
From: MMario
Date: 04 Dec 00 - 11:51 AM

since the piper insists on playing "What do you do with a drunken sailor" during our Christmas gig on the streets of Skaneatlas - I've come up with this Christmas song.

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A CHRISTMAS GOOSE?
(Parody - What do you do with a drunken Sailor)

What do you do with a Christmas Goose?
What do you do with a Christmas Goose?
What do you do with a Christmas Goose?
Earl-i Christmas Morning?

First you pluck it then you baste it!
First you pluck it then you baste it!
First you pluck it then you baste it!
Earl-i Chritmas morning

Way-heigh, it's delicious!
Way-heigh, it's delicious!
Way-heigh, it's delicious!
Earl-i Christmas morning!

Then you stuff it and you bake it! [etc]

Carve it thin and serve with gravy![ETC]

That's what you do with a christmas goose![etc]


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: MMario
Date: 04 Dec 00 - 12:14 PM

oops! or turkey - whichever - depends on what gags we've had running beforehand....


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: sophocleese
Date: 04 Dec 00 - 12:17 PM

I want Boris, I want Boris! Ple-e-e-e-ease MMArio.


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: GeorgeH
Date: 04 Dec 00 - 12:23 PM

Glad someone mentioned the Kipper Family's "Arrest these merry gentlemen" . . great favourite of ours.

There was also a cassette tribute to Nigel Chippendale which included a set of "Christmas inserts" he did for a radio program . . much musical hillarity, and well worth looking out for.

G.


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Subject: Lyr Add: BORIS, THE BLUE-BALLED REINDEER
From: MMario
Date: 04 Dec 00 - 12:34 PM

YOu know Basher, and Canker, and Pander and Vixen
Vomit and Stupid, and Blunder and Shitzen;
But do you recall....The most frustrated reindeer of all?

Boris, the blue balled reindeer
had two balls that really glowed!
and if you ever saw him
You would say it really showed!
All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him names
They wouldn't let poor Boris
join in kinky reindeer games

Then one starlit Christmas Eve
Mrs. Clause came to say
Boris with your balls so blue
Have I got a Christmas Present for you!

Oh how that woman loved him!
As they achieved ecstacy!
Oh Boris the Blue-balled Reindeer
Taught her beastiality!


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: Bill Hahn//\\
Date: 04 Dec 00 - 07:15 PM

Tom Lehrer has a great piece---just called Christmas Carol.

Sung to the tune of Hark the Herald Angels Sing.

I also love John Forster's All Purpose Carol.

If you tune in to WFDU 89.1 FM (Teaneck NJ) or on the web

www.wfdu.fm

between 3-6 PM I guarantee you will hear both and a lot more on the TRADITIONS program that day.

Bill Hahn


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: weststar
Date: 04 Dec 00 - 07:59 PM

Bill H. Was it " Hark, the Herold Tribune sings Advertising toys and things " ?


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: Banjer
Date: 04 Dec 00 - 08:33 PM

Oh how I love it! I never realized there were so many parodies around.....Do keep them coming.....Please!!


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Subject: RE: Christmas Parodies
From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock
Date: 05 Dec 00 - 10:16 AM

Well I have to admit loving Kevin Bloody Wilson's moving Christmas ballad (bad language alert):
"Hey Santa Claus you c***,
Where's me f***ing bike?
I've been through all this other sh*t
And there's nothing here I like"
etc etc.

Perhaps of little musical merit, but it made me laugh the first time I heard it.


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Subject: Lyr Add: FROSTY THE SNOWMAN
From: Andrea
Date: 05 Dec 00 - 05:12 PM

Assuming the "Frosty the Snowman' you're looking for is the regular one:

FROSTY THE SNOWMAN
Words and Music by Steve Nelson and Jack Rollins

Frosty the snowman
Was a jolly happy soul
With a corncob pipe
And a button nose
And two eyes made out of coal
Frosty the snowman
Is a fairy tale they say
He was made of snow
But the children know
How he came to life one day

There must have been some magic in that
Old silk hat they found
For when they placed it on his head
He began to dance around
O Frosty the snowman
Was alive as he could be
And the children say
He could laugh and play
Just the same as you and me

Thumpetty thump thump
Thumpety thump thump
Look at Frosty go
Thumpetty thump thump
Thumpety thump thump
Over the hills of snow

Frosty the snowman knew
The sun was hot that day
So he said
"Let's run and
We'll have some fun
Now before I melt away"

Down to the village
With a broomstick in his hand
Running here and there all
Around the square saying
Catch me if you can
He led them down the streets of town
Right to the traffic cop
And he only paused a moment when
He heard him holler "Stop!"

For Frosty the snow man
Had to hurry on his way
But he waved goodbye saying
"Don't you cry
I'll be back again some day"

Thumpetty thump thump
Thumpety thump thump
Look at Frosty go
Thumpetty thump thump
Thumpety thump thump
Over the hills of snow


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