Lyr Req: Nothing's Real Anymore (S Silverstein)

Subject: Lyr Req: Nothing's Real Anymore (S Silverstein)
From: Jason Xion Wang
Date: 02 Jan 16 - 10:50 PM

This is a song that's on Bob Gibson's final album "Makin' a Mess", and also performed by Bob on Mountain Stage public radio. A nice and funny song - but I can't find the words on the Internet. And as I'm not a native English speaker, my English listening skill is not good enough to transcribe the lyrics by myself. Wish somebody could help on this. Thanks very much.

Jason

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Nothing's Real Anymore (S Silverstein)
From: Jason Xion Wang
Date: 03 Jan 16 - 08:59 AM

Here's a link to Bob's performance of the song on Mountain Stage. Hope somebody could help transcribe the lyrics... Thanks very much!

Jason

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Nothing's Real Anymore (S Silverstein)
From: Jason Xion Wang
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 04:12 AM

The refrain goes like this:

Nothing's real any-[D]more
Nothing is the way it [A]was before
Nothing feels the way it [E]felt
Nothing smells the way it [E7]smelt
Nothing's real any-[A]more

Nothing's real any-[D]more
Nothing tastes the way it [A]did before
And it really is pa-[E]thetic
Life and love are all syn-[E7]thetic
Nothing's real any-[A]more

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Nothing's Real Anymore (S Silverstein)
From: michaelr
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 08:41 PM

January 2nd, 1993
I woke up near the end of another century
Feeling fit and fine and ready to play
And this is how I start my day:

I put some I-can't-believe-it's-not butter
On my low-cal, no-cholesterol bread
Took some eggs out of the fridge and I put `em back
Scrambled up a cup of EggBeaters instead
I put some (???) Cremora in my decaf
Drank it from a styrofoam cup
Then I put on my extra-strength lubricated condom
Yo baby, I'm ready for love

CH: Nothing's real anymore
Nothing is the way it was before
Nothing feels the way it felt
Nothing smells the way it smelt
Nothing's real anymore
Nothing's real anymore
Nothing tastes the way it did before
And it really is pathetic
Life and love are all synthetic
Nothing's real anymore

After safe sex, instead of cigarettes
We laid back and shared some nicotine gum
And I opened up two non-alcoholic brews
She said, Oh how humdrum my life has become
When I blamed my mood on her silicone boobs
She screamed that she wanted me gone
I threw some (???) shirts in my naugahyde bag
And went to sleep out on the astroturf lawn

CH

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Nothing's Real Anymore (S Silverstein)
From: michaelr
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 08:44 PM

If anyone can fill in the two missing spots (probably trademarks I'm unfamiliar with), please repost the lyrics with a LYR ADD subject; that way a search will find it easier.

Cheers,
Michael

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Nothing's Real Anymore (S Silverstein)
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 09:53 PM

Equal and Cremora
Dacron shirts

I think google will find these lyrics without starting another thread.

Subject: Lyr Add: NOTHING'S REAL ANYMORE (S Silverstein)
From: michaelr
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 10:52 PM

Thanks, leeneia! No new thread necessary, just LYR ADD in the subject line.

NOTHING'S REAL ANYMORE
(Shel Silverstein)

January 2nd, 1993
I woke up near the end of another century
Feeling fit and fine and ready to play
And this is how I start my day:

I put some I-can't-believe-it's-not butter
On my low-cal, no-cholesterol bread
Took some eggs out of the fridge and I put `em back
Scrambled up a cup of EggBeaters instead
I put some Equal and Cremora in my decaf
Drank it from a styrofoam cup
Then I put on my extra-strength lubricated condom
Yo baby, I'm ready for love

CH: Nothing's real anymore
Nothing is the way it was before
Nothing feels the way it felt
Nothing smells the way it smelt
Nothing's real anymore
Nothing's real anymore
Nothing tastes the way it did before
And it really is pathetic
Life and love are all synthetic
Nothing's real anymore

After safe sex, instead of cigarettes
We laid back and shared some nicotine gum
And I opened up two non-alcoholic brews
She said, Oh how humdrum my life has become
When I blamed my mood on her silicone boobs
She screamed that she wanted me gone
I threw some Dacron shirts in my naugahyde bag
And went to sleep out on the astroturf lawn

CH

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Nothing's Real Anymore (S Silverstein)
From: Jason Xion Wang
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 11:34 PM

What a hilarious song... Thanks very much for adding the lyrics, Michael!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Nothing's Real Anymore (S Silverstein)
From: michaelr
Date: 05 Jan 16 - 12:30 AM

You're welcome.

If you want, tell us something about where you live and what music you like.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Nothing's Real Anymore (S Silverstein)
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 05 Jan 16 - 07:58 PM

Dear MichaelR,

Grand contribution...THANK YOU...

How did you arrive at the lyrics?

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

My search efforts included some obscure dark corners but produced nada.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Nothing's Real Anymore (S Silverstein)
From: michaelr
Date: 05 Jan 16 - 08:04 PM

I listened to the recording the OP linked to and typed along. Leeneia filled in a couple of words I couldn't get.

There was at one time a Shel Silverstein lyrics site on the Web, but I can't find it anymore.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Nothing's Real Anymore (S Silverstein)
From: Jason Xion Wang
Date: 06 Jan 16 - 11:33 AM

Michael - I'm from China and I really love American folk music - or contemporary folk? I don't know. My first love in music is John Denver. Then I began to listen to John Denver's favorite guys - Paxton, Prine, Andersen, Ochs etc. That opened my eyes to folk/singer-songwriter/americana music which is still my favorite.

I guess the lyrics site you referred to might be this one? http://www.banned-width.com/shel/misc/lyrics.html. It's no longer there, though. I'll try to find something through Internet wayback archives. Thanks again.

Jason

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Nothing's Real Anymore (S Silverstein)
From: Jason Xion Wang
Date: 06 Jan 16 - 11:39 AM

Thanks to the Internet wayback machine, the site can still be found. But this song isn't on it. Here's a link: https://web.archive.org/web/20061118104034/http://www.banned-width.com/shel/misc/lyrics.html

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Nothing's Real Anymore (S Silverstein)
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 06 Jan 16 - 11:45 AM

Hello, Jason. Since you are in China, I can certainly understand why you would not know all the brand names for fake foods that are mentioned in that song. I don't use those things myself, and I wonder how many of them are still being sold today, 22 years later.

The poor guy in the song sure seems to lead a dreary existence.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Nothing's Real Anymore (S Silverstein)
From: Jason Xion Wang
Date: 17 Mar 16 - 04:52 AM

I was silly to put out a request thread... The lyrics to all songs from the album were actually all published in the liner notes! I just checked and found the only difference is that the "official" lyrics have "Scrambled up a couple Eggbeaters instead".

Jason