Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Áine Date: 01 Jul 00 - 01:14 PM After you read this Challenge!, you'll understand why I suggested that all of you Challenge!rs "save some" from Part 30. This Challenge! idea comes from our one and only MMario -- which kinda makes me wonder if he's ever actually been in - Port-a-Potty Peril -- Huntingdon Valley, Pennsylvania, June 15 - Police rescued a man who found himself stuck in the depths of a portable toilet at a recreational field Wednesday afternoon, after he lowered himself inside and couldn't get out. The man, not identified by police, told officers he was trying to retrieve his keys. He was trapped there for at least 45 awful minutes, he told police. Children playing basketball heard the man calling for help and told their mother. She called township police. Officers arrived about 2:45 p.m. and found the unfortunate man, still shouting and in the toilet's lower chamber up to his hips. He was naked from the waist down, having taken off his shoes and pants for his unpleasant task. It took emergency response workers until 3:28 p.m. to extract him, police said, adding that they had to destroy a significant part of the facility in the process. Police could not estimate the cost of the damage. One he was free, the man was taken to hospital for treatment of cuts and bruises - and to have the wedged-tight toilet seat removed from around his torso. I usually say "Go For It! Challenge!rs!" here, but somehow I feel that I might be endangering the more adventerous of you if I did . . .
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Amergin Date: 01 Jul 00 - 03:14 PM Surprised I'm the first one to post some potty humor.
Last Thing on My Mind
It's a lesson too late for the learnin'
Chorus:
As I sat down, my keys went atumblin'
CHORUS
You've got reasons a-plenty for gigglin Amergin
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Áine Date: 01 Jul 00 - 03:17 PM "Covered with turds I am wrigglin" -- Oh Amergin, yet another Challenge! classic line! Love it, love it! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Dharmabum Date: 01 Jul 00 - 03:51 PM HILLARIOUS!!!!!!! Good one Amergin. Ron. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Áine Date: 01 Jul 00 - 04:25 PM You know, I'm really beginning to wonder why I'm waxing so romantic when it comes to poo parodies . . .
Pry Me From The Loo |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: JenEllen Date: 01 Jul 00 - 06:13 PM When I read this story in the paper all I could do was laugh and think about the Utah Phillips 'Goodnight/Lovin' lines "Well Doc, ya ever seen anything like it?" "Yeah, but not with a frame around it." Please accept this as my humble submission.*bg* Love's Final Stand (to the tune of 'Song For All The Good People')
I left bright and early, to see my gal Shirley
Chorus:
Just on a wild lark, I stopped at the state park
I closed the 'pot door, set my bundle on the floor CHORUS
Fast forgotten was my pee, as I turned 'round to see
I fished with the flowers for nearly an hour CHORUS
I took my pants down, laid them on the ground
I yelled for an hour, made daisy-chains with the flowers CHORUS
The ensuing extraction nearly put me in traction
They took me downtown, in a hospital gown CHORUS
So my story has ended, not quite as intended
This is a song for all the good people
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Dharmabum Date: 01 Jul 00 - 06:27 PM THE HOUSE OF THE RISING TIDE {sun} There is a house in Huntington, Out in the Keystone State, It's been the ruin of my pride, Where I suffered a terrible fate. I was jogging in the park, One Wednesday afternoon, When suddenly I heard the call, So I ran to the bathroom. While fumbling with my jogging shorts, My keys came tumbling free, I tried to catch them in mid flight, But they got away from me. Now they could've landed on the floor, And rested near my feet, But they headed for the depths of hell, And went through the toilet seat. I don't know what went through my mind, The memory's gone black, But for some unknown reason, I thought I'd get them back. I thought that I would go head first, But that would never do, So I stepped in up to my waist, Just a wading in that poo. I felt around with my bare feet, Just searching for that prize, Lord let me find my lost car keys, And make it home to sanitize. I found 3 condoms & some change, Enough corn to choke a horse, But just as I gave up the fight, Things turned from bad to worse. In my haste to wiggle in, I'd had not thought of it, I'd wedged myself inside the seat, Now I'm stuck waist deep in shit. I pushed I pulled I tried to jump, But it all seemed of no use, It seems I've got no other choice, But to sing the shithouse blues. Somebody heard my cry for help, Somebody called the law, When they arrived & looked inside, They laughed at what they saw. They had to cut that Port o Pot, To set this poor soul free, To liberate my naked ass, From crap up to my knees. They put me in an ambulance, All covered up in poo, To make it worse I had to wear, A toilet seat tu tu. So mothers tell your children, Not to do as I have done, The Port o Pot's no place to swim, Believe me it's no fun. There's an ending to this story, And it's really not too sad, I'm a diver now for Roto Rooter, And the pay is not too bad.
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 01 Jul 00 - 06:35 PM Two gems in that one: "A toilet seeat tu tu" and "I'm a diver now for Roto Rooter, and the pay is not too bad." Great! Dave Oesterreich |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Amergin Date: 01 Jul 00 - 06:41 PM ROTFLMAO!!!! for the three of you. Good Job!!!
Here's a half-assed one:
WORRIED MAN BLUES
It takes a worried man to sing a worried song
I went into the potty just to take a pee
I dropped my pants to go jumpin in
I felt around until I found my keys
There were some kids spitting the kudu turds
They told their mom that I needed help
I heard the sirens roaring from afar
They took apart the potty and got me out of here
I had to burp when I got a little soused
It takes a worried man to sing a worried song. Amerginwhoknowsthisoneisfeeble
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Áine Date: 01 Jul 00 - 06:54 PM I really must think of a Cow Chip Classic Line Award (any suggestions, my darlin' Challenge!rs??) -- And the nominees are (since Amergin's first entry):
JenEllen's:
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Mbo Date: 01 Jul 00 - 07:37 PM Man, two excrement song challenges back-to-back? I'm not sure I like where this is going... --Mbo |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Bradypus Date: 01 Jul 00 - 07:40 PM We seem to go through phases - animals, alcohol and now the current phase - I'm sure it will pass. Bradypus |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Amergin Date: 02 Jul 00 - 03:14 AM
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Bradypus Date: 02 Jul 00 - 07:08 PM The construction is perhaps more French than American, but I won't let the facts get in the way of the song ...
Tune is 'Big Bad John'Deep Deep John
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: SINSULL Date: 02 Jul 00 - 08:39 PM And to think I was worried when Aine was in her fire mode! Where is this headed? Right down the porcelain facility, of course. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: MMario Date: 03 Jul 00 - 09:58 AM *applause* Having spent the entire weekend dealing with porta-potties these are hilarious! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Kim C Date: 03 Jul 00 - 10:05 AM That's too funny! I don't have anything to contribute, except to say that we living history people have a close, personal relationship with those blue boxes. But not THAT close! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Áine Date: 03 Jul 00 - 11:15 AM My dear Bradypus -- that has to be one of your best yet!! I'll never be able to keep a straight face when I hear BBJ from now on, although I ususally grinned a bit anyway to tell the truth... And Sinsull, don't worry, we'll be heading 'up north' and 'getting wet' for the next Challenge! (and that's all the hints you're getting)... Come on now, we can have a couple more for this one, can't we?? Or have your tanks been totally drained?? -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Scabby Douglas Date: 03 Jul 00 - 11:52 AM I'm reminded of a song that Watt Nicol or Matt McGinn used to sing:
How they tittered, how they chaffed. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Áine Date: 03 Jul 00 - 12:16 PM Good one, Scabby Doug! Keep going, I'd love to see some more! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Amergin Date: 04 Jul 00 - 02:49 PM |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Áine Date: 04 Jul 00 - 03:18 PM I suppose y'all got used up on Part 30, since we didn't have many entries for Part 31. Just remember, a Song Challenge! is never over -- so if you 'feel the need' to write a 'toilet tutu' song, go for it! Now, the usual Congrats, Cudos, and Thanks to those of you who entered this Challenge! Here are the results, and long may your individual Port-O-Potties wave!
Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon: We've got a refreshing Challenge! coming up next, so keep your eyes peeled! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: wysiwyg Date: 05 Jul 00 - 07:15 AM Well!!!! We didn't know this challenge had ended, so there we were, me and hardiman, two of our community's FINEST and MOST UPSTANDING citizens, after the fireworks last night in the park, SURROUNDED by the rest of the finest and upstanding as they were packing up their kids, dogs, and beer coolers, singing "Dipped in Shit and Coated With a Thin Candy Shell" (blues).... And now, not only can I not remember what we sang, to post it, it's over anyhow! Corrupting us for nothing! Ah, it was sweet. I only wish you all could have been there to sing yours. ~S~ |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Naemanson Date: 05 Jul 00 - 11:04 AM Sorry I'm late but I was busy falling in love this weekend. The Miser And The John (To the tune of: SHOALS OF HERRING) Well I am a jogger and a running man As it's through the park I'm bearing Saw the john and felt the urge Knew my bowels I had to purge, Now it's a toilet seat I'm wearing, I stepped in side and turned to drop my pants And crouched to perch upon the hole But my change fell out With my pocket inside out And a quarter tumbled down below. Now good money is nothing to sneeze at I'm sure you would agree sir. But to wade in piss and shit Needs better reason than two bits So inside I tossed my car keys sir. My plan was sound my reasoning secure I needed the keys for my new Lexus. So I stepped into the hole But slipped and fell below Wedged in the seat that protects us. I could not move I could not turn, My goods I could not reach, sir So I called for help Hollared bawled and yelped Till children told their mother Now once again I am a free man, Out of that awful water I have my keys And drive where I please, But I didn't get my quarter. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: SharonA Date: 16 Aug 01 - 09:48 AM *refresh* (okay, so it's not the most refreshing thread!) Since we're on the subject of toilets in SONG CHALLENGE! - part 64, I thought I'd hearken back to this story... A SCREAM, AS YOU SQUISH, YOUR THROAT MAKES (Tune: "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" from Walt Disney's CINDERELLA, 1950) A scream, as you squish, your throat makes When your ass you see In steamy brown ooze; your bloat breaks The john as you fish for your key. Have faith in your screams, that some way Policemen will come, saving you. No matter how your bloat they're heaving, If you keep on retrieving The key, man, you'll squish there anew. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: MMario Date: 16 Aug 01 - 10:21 AM You have to love a woman with a mind that can produce the above. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: SharonA Date: 16 Aug 01 - 10:26 AM Gawd, I wish SOMEbody would!!! I'd be embarrassed to tell ya when I last had an S.O. ... |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Jack the Sailor Date: 16 Aug 01 - 11:03 AM {t:Stuck in a Toilet with Pooh} {c:Verse 1:} Am I stupid that I got in this mess? I gotta tell you that the answer is yes In excrement to way passed my feet And I wish that I'd lifted my seat Children they laugh at me Cops laughing too, here I am Stuck in a toilet with pooh {c:Verse 2:} Yes I'm stuck Stuck in a toilet with pooh And I'm wondering what it is I should do I wish you'd wipe that smirk off your face I'm in a real S**ty place Losing control, yeah, I'm all over the place Children they laugh at me Police laughing too, here I am Stuck in a toilet with pooh
{c:Bridge:}
{c:Verse 3:} |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Amos Date: 16 Aug 01 - 04:13 PM It's dark as a dungeon, it's damp as a stew, Where the odor is awful, and the texture is too, Where visions of virii make the bravest to moan, Oh, its dark as a dungeon down under the throne!! line breaks added by mudelf ;-) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Trapper Date: 16 Aug 01 - 04:41 PM Oh man! I CAN'T keep up this pace! Can we SLOW DOWN this catch-up process please, or do we have to make up all this homework in one day???? - Al
STUCK IN THE BALLPARK LOO |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Trapper Date: 16 Aug 01 - 04:44 PM Duh! This would have been a GREAT one for EDDIE CATCHA COOTCHA CATCHA TOSANERA TOSANOKA SAMA CAMA WACKY BROWN! Next time! - Al |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Jack the Sailor Date: 16 Aug 01 - 05:00 PM Good song trapper. I agree that a break is in order. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: GUEST Date: 17 Aug 01 - 08:42 PM |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Áine Date: 18 Aug 01 - 11:06 AM A Break?!? -- I'd love one, guys . . . I'm beginning to feel like the tigers that chased each other around the tree and melted into butter -- Please, please, give me a day or two to catch up with and post all your wonderful 'late-but-great' entries, OK? Even goddesses have lives off-line, ya know. ;-) That said, here are the latest awards for this Challenge!, all of which prove that a great song idea never goes 'stale' . . .
Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon (The Harp Ribbon is given for being able to make The Keeper of the Book fall on the floor laughing OR make her short out her keyboard with tears): -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: SharonA Date: 18 Aug 01 - 11:30 AM Thanks, Áine! Sorry again for my earlier impatience (I'll be in the "time out" corner if anybody asks). Take all the time you wish, and enjoy! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Deda Date: 20 Aug 01 - 12:03 PM Damnit to hell it's dark in here, au secours! Damnit to hell it's rank in here, au secours! Damnit to hell it's rank, it stinks, I wanna get out, I need a drink. Stinky-dinky au secours. (At 3 or 4AM there was another verse, undoubtedly brilliant,but it has fled. If it ever returns I'll let you know.) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 03 Sep 01 - 09:43 AM A parody of Highway Patrolman by Bruce Springsteen
My name's Joe Roberts, I work for the state |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Amos Date: 03 Sep 01 - 10:45 AM Derry, that was AWESOME!!! Great song. And more so to see a silly bathroom joke elevated to a touching ballad on brotherly love!! A. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 03 Sep 01 - 11:40 AM Amos ... Thanks ... |
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