Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 17 Nov 01 - 12:08 AM I am honored …..to have been thought …..to have ……met you. No doubt, the pleasure would have been mutual.
Unfortunately, I have not met you.
Equally unfortunate, is that I am not the "Songleader of the Long Beach Hash House Harriers."
No doubt…..to have earned his title…. he is a talented and tuneful fellow. Unfortunately, I am not…… all of my contributions to the DT are lyrical in nature.
However, I AM a "Hasher"…. but only newly arrived within the pack…..and not yet worthy of any title. Someday, perhaps, I will run with Long Beach H3 and meet the man/woman you admire.
Sincerely, Gargoyle |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 17 Nov 01 - 12:13 AM The cover page of the primary source
OFFICIAL SONG BOOK (Second Edition)
Not copyrighted – 15 January 1981 by Pendleton RFC
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 17 Nov 01 - 12:17 AM This is close as possible to the original written text's, layout and design; it is neither edited nor corrected, with the typos and original line breaks included. These were still the days of the manual and "selectric" typewriters.
The following explanation from/within the manuscript explains why I believe some of these songs, (hopefully dick/Susan will concur) belong within the anals (sic) of the Digital Tradition.
Sincerely,
PENDLETON'S FUCKING OFFICIAL (?) INTRODUCTION
The sport of Rugby is unique but oddly enough the action on the
Although the game of Rugby has often been described as unorgan-
Rugby songs themselves are a traditional part of folklore and
"It has often been said that what happens after a game of rugby
"Yet the rugby song does have a crude sort of folk culture all of (1)
"some dirty pesh's residence" and who retaliated by haunting the
"Some rugby songs tell a narrative story of heroic proportions
"Truly there is something for everybody, providing they can drink
Due to the length of this work and the skill (or lack thereof) of the
Signature
END OF ORIGINAL MANUSCRIPT |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 18 Nov 01 - 12:10 AM Back in November of 99, a thread http://mudcat.org/thread.CFM?threadID=15135 was created requesting additional lyrics to this song. Combining those few and these we have the most complete version on the net…..(for twenty-eight minutes until "the bots" grab this and add it to their page.) ((Which is VERY good…nice bots, good boys, here take a byte.))
IF I WERE THE MARRYING KIND
CHORUS:
WOULD BE RUGBY FULL-BACK
WOULD BE A RUGBY HOOKER.
WOULD BE A CENTER THREE-QUARTER.
WOULD BE A RUGBY REFEREE'S WHISTLE
WOULD BE A RUGBY PROP-FORWARD
WOULD BE A RUGBY FLY HALF
WOULD BE A RUGBY SCRUM HALF
WOULD BE A RUGBY SCRUM ORANGE
WOULD BE A RUGBY SPECTATOR.
WOULD BE A RUGBY SECOND ROW.
WOULD BE A RUGBY GROUNDSKEEPER NUMBER ONE.
WOULD BE A RUGBY GROUNDSKEEPER NUMBER TWO
WOULD BE A RUGBY TICKET TAKER
WOULD BE A RUGBY SPECTATOR IN THE RAIN.
WOULD BE A RUGBY NUMBER EIGHT MAN
WOULD BE A RUGBY GOAL POST
WOULD BE A RUGBY TOUCH LINE.
WOULD BE A RUGBY PARTIER.
WOULD BE A RUGBY WING NUMBER ONE.
WOULD BE A RUGBY FULLBACK NUMBER TWO.
WOULD BE A RUGBY WIND NUMBER TWO.
WOULD BE A RUGBY CLEAT.
WOULD BE A SCRUM HALF'S DAUGHTER
WOULD BE A RUGBY THREE QUATER
WOULD BE A RUGBY PROP SIR
WOULD BE A RUGBY BALL SIR v
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 18 Nov 01 - 10:13 PM A spoof on the Rordean School found within this thread. Personally, this one is better, and some textual references (probably stolen from a classic)indicate, perhaps, it came sooner.
WHOREDEAN SCHOOL
CHORUS: Up school, up school, fuck the school,
We are from Whoredean, Whoredean girls are we,
Our school doctor, she is a beaut,
We go to Whoredean, don't we have pluck,
We have a new girl, her name is Flow,
We go to Whoredean, we can be had,
Our house mistress you cannot beat,
Our head prefect, her nema is Jane
Our sports mistress whe is the best,
Our teacher Porter, he is a fool,
We go to Whoredan, don't we have fun,
When we go down to the sea for a swim,
The girls from Cheltenham, they are just sissies,
We are at Whoredean each Witson dance,
When we go down to Vicar's for tea,
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST Date: 19 Nov 01 - 08:39 AM that's 'threepenny bitties' not 'three bitties' |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 19 Nov 01 - 08:41 PM Thank you for the correction. If it make the DT no doubt, the correction will be added.
It is good to know that at least one other soul reads these.
With this little encouragment, the scrum marches forward.
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 19 Nov 01 - 08:43 PM FOR HE'S A DIRTY BASTARD
For he's a dirty Bastard,
Of all the son-a-bitches
So him, him, fuck him.
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 19 Nov 01 - 08:44 PM RUGBY ALMA MATER
The rugby boys are out on the piss again,
The rugger huggers want too much fucky fucky,
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 19 Nov 01 - 08:45 PM This one is DIFFERENT LYRICS. There is another one in the DT. I DON'T WANT TO JOIN THE ARMY
CHORUS
Monday I touched her on the ankle,
SECOND
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 19 Nov 01 - 08:46 PM Verse added. The WWII Tulagi Song is found in the DT. In the Rugby version the phrase "Fuck 'em all" replaces the PC "bless them all." The following verse is not in the DT. TULAGI SONG
So here's to your corporals and privates too,
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 19 Nov 01 - 08:47 PM DON'T SAY NO
Oh, my darling, don't say no, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 11 Dec 01 - 11:38 PM Mrs. Murphy TUNE - Cassons Go Rolling Along
Give a cheer, give a cheer,
Won't you put it in your mouth Mrs. Murphy,
If I had the wings of an eagle,
Now you say you're still a virgin,
For now you've got a throat like Linda Lovelace,
Now we've got a team called Pendleton,
We'll eat you and beat you and mistreat you,
Sung by the whore house quartet,
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 11 Dec 01 - 11:40 PM The Rugby Tinker
CHORUS:
The lady of manor was dressing for the ball,
She wrote to him a letter and when it he did read,
She wrote to him a letter and in it she did say,
He mounted on his charger and on it he did ride,
He rode into the courtyard and on up to the hall,
He fucked them in the kitchen and he fucked them in the stall.
The tinker begged the mistress and in then minutes she was dead,
He rode from out the manor and on into the street,
The inker he is dead now and buried in St. Paul's
Some say he went to heaven and some say he went to hell,
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 12 Dec 01 - 10:24 PM The Street of the Thousand Arse Holes
CHORUS:
In the Street of a Thousand Arse Holes
She sat beneath the joss sticks,
She thought of her lover, the bastard,
"Oh come to me you bag of shit."
She raised herself on her starboard tit,
He clutched his tool with calloused hand,
At length with anger screaming out,
His anger quickly mastered him,
The Chinese maiden now is gone,
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 12 Dec 01 - 10:26 PM O'Reilly's Daughter
CHORUS:
Sitting one night in O'Reilly's bar
I took her gently by the hand
I fucked her standing, I heard Reilly coming up the stairs
I grabbed O'Reilly by the hair
Now I'm growing old and grey
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 13 Dec 01 - 08:37 PM LET ME CALL YOU SWEETHEART Tune: Same
Let me call you sweetheart |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 13 Dec 01 - 08:38 PM THE COUNTRY GENTLEMAN
CHORUS:
I took my Missus horse riding, horse riding
I took my wife for a ramble, a ramble
I asked her if it hurt her, hurt her,
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 13 Dec 01 - 08:40 PM Many different, and better, versions of this one in the DT, but here is still another one.
THERE WAS A YOUNG SAILOR
There was a young sailor who sat on a rock
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 13 Dec 01 - 08:43 PM THE LOBSTER
CHORUS:
Good morning Mister Fisherman,
Yes, Sir said the Fisherman
I took the lobster home
In the middle of the night
The Missus gave a giggle
The wife grabbed the shovel,
We hit it in the head,
The moral of this story,
|
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 16 Dec 01 - 11:01 PM I LOVE MY WIFE
I love my wife; |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 16 Dec 01 - 11:04 PM A variation of "Carolina" found in the DT. I like this one better. Why "Charotte" instead of the better rhyme of "Charlot" I don't know.
CHAROTTE THE HORLOT
CHORUS: She's filthy, she's nasty
Way out in the Wild West where the cactus lies thick,
One night on the prairie while riding along,
One night on the desert her legs opened wide,
I leapt from my saddle and reached for her crack,
Up got Charotte all covered with muck
The funereal procession was forty miles long,
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 16 Dec 01 - 11:09 PM FANNY BAY
If you ever go across the sea to Darwin,
Some are black and some are white, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 18 Dec 01 - 12:07 AM There is a version in the DT ….but the DT's is neither nearly as long, nor as bawdy as this one.
This section is copied from pages 68,69,70, 71 of some other published source that was inserted into the Pendelton Marine Rugby Football Team Song Book.
THE GOOD SHIP VENUS
'Twas on the good ship "Venus,
CHORUS: Frigging in the rigging,
The captain's name was Slugger
The first mate's name was Paul,
The second mate's name was Andy
The third mate's name was Morgan,
The captain's wife was Mabel
The Captain's randy daughter
A cook whose name was Freeman,
Another cook was O'Malley,
The Boatswain's name was Lester,
The engineer was McTavish
A homo was the Purser,
Another one was Cropper
The cobin boy was Kipper,
The ship's dog's name was Rover
'Twas in the Adriatic
The end of this naration
So now we end the serial
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 19 Dec 01 - 12:18 AM Listed as page 141 from the original of a photo-copied insert in the Pendleton book.
FLY AWAY YOU BUMBLE BEE
Sambo was a lazy coon
"Get away you bumble bee
****hole rules the Navy
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 19 Dec 01 - 09:04 PM There are three versions of this ditty in the DT but here is a fourth, and this is a BETTER version
CHARLOTTE THE HARLOT LAY DYING
TUNE: My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean
CHORUS:
Charlotte the Halot lay dying,
Charlotte the Harlot repented,
Charlotte the Harlot was buried, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 19 Dec 01 - 11:01 PM A SONG ABOUT TURDS
CHORUS:
There was an old lady who lived on West Street,
Sjhe ran to the window and stuck out her ass,
He ran to the east and he ran to the west,
If ever you pass o'er the Flat River bridge
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 20 Dec 01 - 04:13 AM THE HOLE IN THE ELEPAHNT'S BOTTOM
I wanted to go on the stage
His balls they hang so low
The man who plays the front part
There are pockets inside the clothes
Now my part hasen't got any words
Some may think that this story is good, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 20 Dec 01 - 04:16 AM THEY'RE DIGGIN UP DAD'S REMAINS
They're digging up dad's remains to build a sewer; |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 21 Dec 01 - 01:18 AM It is HARD to imagine these ditty's do not reside elsewhere on the the net….but… for the most part…. many are original postings….. While they are a glorious tribute laid at the feet of Dick and Susan…they are grudgingly laid on the max location of cripples.
This one might be adopted as the anthem for Max himself!!!
Anyone looking for a thesis "Machaveli on the Net?" (follow the threads of the puss-filled-pussy)
QUEEN OF ALL THE FAIRIES
CHORUS:
Oh, she was a cripple with only one nipple,
Ain't it a pity she'd only one titty
And as he got older and boldr and bolder,
They tried his in the infantry,
We see no hope for his unless
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: BlueFolk Date: 21 Dec 01 - 02:58 AM A funny rugbysong is "Hippo in a Skrum" by Leon Schuster, but to appreciate it you have to speak a litte Afrikaans (language of a South African Boer). |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 21 Dec 01 - 06:11 PM JOHN - Please Post the LYRICS! Sounds like a hoot. Only hippo song I have is about wanting one for Christmas....and its not rugby.
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 21 Dec 01 - 06:23 PM I DON'T KNOW WHAT HIS NAME IS…
CHORUS:
I went through the front gate,
I went in through the front door,
I went up the stairs,
I took all my clothes off
I put on my 'jamas,
I got into bed,
I laid on my side,
FINAL CHORUS: |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: Gareth Date: 21 Dec 01 - 06:35 PM Gargoyle. Most of your last postingd seem to be lifts from those exellent text books "Rugby Songs" & "More Rugby Songs" jon D my taal may be getting a little rusty these days but No 2 Sister is still fluent. In the interest of a dying culture these should be recorded. Gareth
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 21 Dec 01 - 09:39 PM Gareth - Thanks for dropping in on the thread - I will seek and secure the two books you mentioned. These postings are coming from photocopied notes that were typed and handwritten except where noted with a page number that was copied from an unidentified source.
Dick Greenhouse - has a wonderful, humorous, bawdy collection of classics, many of which are also "rugby classics" - This thread is filling in for the specific ones not already in his Digital Tradition Archive.....
PLEASE POST ANY bits, pieces, snippets or songs that you know....and if possible....where you first became aware of them.
THANX again for dropping by, sometimes it gets lonely and cold... high on the steeple.... gurgling rainwater in the night....down on the people...... but I now have a MUCH greater respect for the original "labor of love" dick and susan spawned.
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 21 Dec 01 - 09:55 PM Perhaps, this thread, from the old "Glory Days of the MudCat" refers to your books. I will also seek out the LP's mentioned
The song posting immediately following this is the full version of the one Steve Parkes posted
http://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=10022
Steve Parkes lyrics request - my rhubarb refuses to rise RE: lyrics request - my rhubarb refuses to rise 30-Mar-99
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Are you collecting rugby songs? There used to be several books and one or two lp records (the Jock Strapp Ensemble, if memory serves) - if they're not still in print, there must be a lot going at second hand.
From our "Fancy that!" department: writer and researcher Dan Farson reckons that prime Jack the Ripper suspect James K Stephen was the Stephen in
Mary from the Mountain Glen Interestingly, this is one of the (relatively!) more poetic rather than merely obsecene examples. Some were obviously written by "genuine" poets - Dylan Thomas used to turn a good rude rhyme in the pub, for example. And "Eskimo Nell has been attributed to Robert Service. A verse like
Oh, have you seen the pistons
is what George Orwell would have called "good bad poetry" (or maybe the other way about!). It's humorous and well put together; the whole piece could have been written very effectively using euphemism rather than obscenity; but maybe the mores of the times (1900-1920?) meant that anything that risqu‚ would have no circulation except in the circles where obscenity was commonplace.
We could go on for hours, couldn't we?! I'll let somenone else have the floor, though.
Steve (Queen Mary's Grammar School RFC (League, not Union!) 3rd 11, 1962-1965)
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 21 Dec 01 - 10:13 PM Ah...Mr. Parks no doubt, you knew THIS obscure one for the same reason I know twenty songs with gargoyle in them.
THE MAID OF THE MOUNTAIN GLEN
CHORUS:
There was maid of the mountain glen,
Stephen was a bonny child,
Mary of New Brighton Pier,
FINAL CHORUS: |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 21 Dec 01 - 10:51 PM WE'RE ALL QUEERS TOGETHER
CHORUS:
I went for a ride on the tram-tram,
I went to sell my motorcar, |
Subject: ADD: In Mobile From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 22 Dec 01 - 12:48 AM MOBILE
CHORUS:
Oh the seagulls they fly high in Mobile,
There's a man by the name of Hunt in Mobile,
There's a shortage of good bogs in Mobile,
There's a shortage of bagpaper in Mobile,
There's a man by the name of Smith in Mobile,
Oh they teach the babies tricks in Mobile,
It's a fuck of a (illegable)….. in Mobile,
|
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 22 Dec 01 - 01:11 AM In the DT as the "Foreman's Song" this is another version. The DT tune identified as "Red Flag" (CLICK) is of course "Oh Tannenbaum." A parody/reply of the James O'Connel 1899 version in the DT (click) RED FLAG
CHORUS:
"Twas on Gibraltar's Rock so fair,
A sailor who was passing by, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: Snuffy Date: 22 Dec 01 - 07:02 AM Dan Farson is just plain wrong on this one They called the bastard Stephen, 'Cos that was the name of the ink. When I was at Grammar School in the 50s/60s all our work had to be done in fountain pen, and you had to carry a bottle of ink round in your satchel for refilling purposes. Steven's Blue-Black ink was my prefered choice, but some of the other kids used Quink instead.
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 15 Nov 02 - 10:58 PM An appropriate song for this immediate period in history, as we are posed on the brink of another war with Iraq.
I have chosen to post this to the "Rugby Thread" because of its ribald content and more importantly, its origins are within the Camp Pendleton Marine Base – the song-book source for my previous postings to this thread. However, the immediate reference is even stranger.
Roll Me in Your Arms - "Unprintable" Ozark Folksongs and Folklore", Volume 1, Folksongs and Music, Vance Randolph, University of Arkansas Press, 1992, No. 180 Root, Hog or Die! p 576-579.
"The original 1850's "Bullwhackers' song" lent itself to lively parodies….
"Here is the text of "Old Saddam Hussein" (or "old Harem-Scarem"), collected at the U.S. Marine Carps boot training camp, Pendleton, California, February 1991. See glossarial notes at the end of the text. Each double stanza repeats its own last two lines, as shown, to form the chorus. The cannibalistic images are striking:
When old Saddam Hussein found
Root hog or die! Root hog or die!
When old Saddam Hussein
Root hog or die! Root hog or die!
Well, old Saddam Hussein
When old Saddam Hussein
If the Army and the Navy
Root hog or die! Root hog or die!
"The singer added that he also knew a sequel called ' Kuwaitus Interruptus.'"….In stanza 1:2 above, pecker penis, and so also the dialectal variant ellick, from the Scottish name Alec, as in "smart aleck," for any disliked would-be hero or wit.
Randolph within this immediate section also includes an interesting footnote. It is regarding rap (so disliked by some current wannnabe mudcat drop-ins) and yet a rich, ripe area of lyric harvesting. (Xenophobes!!!)
"In 2:7 mother-fucker, originally a Negro slang term used aggressively in "dozens" insult-contests or "rap" sessions as the most extreme insult possible, but not often meant literally and sometimes abbreviated expurgatorial – especially by white jazz musicians – to "mother" or mockingly varied Oedipally to "granny-jazzer" or "poppa-hoppa."
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: Joe_F Date: 17 Nov 02 - 06:47 PM Browsing this thread, I discovered that way back in October 2001 I promised a Scottish version of There Was a Monk of Great Renown, but never followed up. Here it is: THERE WAS A MONK OF GREAT RENOWN (As sung at St Andrews University, ca. 1959) 1. NARRATOR (sings): There was a monk of great renown, (3x) Who bought a whore for half a crown. CHORUS CONGREGATION (speaks): The sod! The dirty sod! The bastard deserves to die. NARRATOR (speaks): How shall he die? CONGREGATION (shouts): Fuck him! (After 2. also:) Double-fuck him! (After 3. also:) Triple-fuck him! (After 4. also:) Quadruple-fuck him! NARRATOR (whispers): Shhhh! Here comes the vicar. VICAR (speaks): A prayer for those in trouble. CONGREGATION (shouts): Abortion! VICAR (speaks): A prayer for the frustrated. CONGREGATION (shouts): Fuck! VICAR (speaks): A prayer for the constipated. CONGREGATION (shouts): Shit! VICAR (speaks): A prayer for the castrated. CONGREGATION (shouts): Balls! VICAR (speaks): Gentlemen! What have we said? Let us pray for the soul of Brother Banglestein. CONGREGATION (sings): Glory, glory, hallelujah! Balls for Brother Banglestein, Banglestein, Banglestein, Balls for Brother Banglestein, Dirty old man! For he keeps us waiting While he's masturbating, So balls for Brother Banglestein, Dirty old man! 2. NARRATOR (sings): His brother monks were so annoyed 'Cos with a woman he had toyed, 3. They put an end to all his frolics, For with a knife they cut off his ballocks, 4. And now, bereft of all desire, He sings soprano in the choir, -- --- Joe Fineman jcf@TheWorld.com ||: The end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we :|| ||: started and know the place for the first time. :|| |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: Gareth Date: 17 Nov 02 - 07:04 PM Gargoyle - You old tosser - a correction to your post on We are all queers together/ "I went for a ride on the tram-tram, It was crowded and I had to stand, When a sweet little boy offered his seat, I reached (illegable)…. my hand" Should read :- "Then a sweet little boy offered me his seat, So I reached for it with my hand" And theres the verse youv'e forgoten "I stayed at a posh London hotel, The waiters were all of a kind, I asked for prompt room service, They said it was a little behind" Gareth |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: Joe Offer Date: 15 Feb 03 - 12:32 PM Gargoyle, that's quite a collection. I did my best to fix your HTML where it needed fixing. Now I have another collection of Rugby songs for you to study, francerugby.fr I wish my French were a little better... -Joe Offer- |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: SmokinBill Date: 21 Feb 04 - 04:58 AM Okay, I just spent a bloody hour reading your collection. I'm impressed and appropriately disgusted. Here is one of my own songs you might like to add to your repertoire: HERE'S TO THE VAGINA (To the tune of "St. James Infirmary") Here's to the vagina, From whence each of us came. Each vagina is unique, No two are the same. Vaginas are all beautiful, Be they black or brown or white. Some men like them all stretched out, But most prefer them tight. Here's to the vagina... etc. Some vaginas are shaven bald, And some have fur like mink. Some smell sweet like French perfume, But most vaginas stink. Here's to the vagina, etc. When dealing with vagina, Don't act in too much haste. Remember, friends, when you go down, To sniff before you taste. Here's to the vagina ... Smokin' Bill's Digital Depot |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: SmokinBill Date: 21 Feb 04 - 05:06 AM Here's another one I wrote a few years ago. Unfortunately my rugby club never picked this one up and I have long since retired from the sport (except for occassional old boys matches and other fits of dementia). It's a call and response ditty, and it's designed so people can make up new verses on the fly, just by rhyming with the name of a saint. THERE AIN'T NO SAINTS IN RUGBY (To the tune of "South Australia") Caller: My patron saint is old Saint Mark. Response: Heave away, haul away, what's he the patron saint of? Caller: Shaggin' all the beasts on Noah's ark. Response: That's nothing to be ashamed of. All sing chorus: Oh, you ancient dirty fuck, you'd bite your own mother in a ruck |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs (oops) From: SmokinBill Date: 21 Feb 04 - 05:33 AM apologies... this is the complete message: Here's another one I wrote a few years ago. Unfortunately my rugby club never picked this one up and I have long since retired from the sport (except for occassional old boys matches and other fits of dementia). It's a call and response ditty, and it's designed so people can make up new verses on the fly, just by rhyming with the name of a saint. THERE AIN'T NO SAINTS IN RUGBY (To the tune of "South Australia") Caller: My patron saint is old Saint Mark. Response: Heave away, haul away, what's he the patron saint of? Caller: Shaggin' all the beasts on Noah's ark. Response: That's nothing to be ashamed of. All sing chorus: Oh, that ancient dirty fuck, He'd bite his own mother in a ruck Bless the soul of that asshole Cause there ain't no saints in rugby. My patron saint is old Saint Clare (Heave away, haul away, what's he the patron saint of?) Rainbow-dyeing her pubic hair (That's nothing to be ashamed of) chorus My patron saint is old Saint Nick (Heave away, haul away, what's he the patron saint of?) Teaching the elves to suck his dick (That's nothing to be ashamed of) chorus My patron saint is old Saint John (Heave away, haul away, what's he the patron saint of?) Showing old ladies his hard-on (That's nothing to be ashamed of) .......... I'm sure you can imagine the possibilities for this one. If you're not familiar with the tune, you might want to check out The Pogue's version of "South Australia." I'd love to see this one catch on at post-match drinkups... Maybe I'll get the Union College Old Boys Rugby Football Club to learn it. Smokin' Bill's Digital Depot |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,Skipper Date: 11 Apr 04 - 06:26 PM Here's a song for John3:16 It's called Jesus Can't Play Rugby (Sung to the Battle Hymn of the Republic) CHORUS: Free beer for all the ruggers, Free beer for all the ruggers Free beer for all the ruggers, Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves SINGER: Jesus can't play rugby 'cause the Jew won't pay his dues ALL: Jesus can't play rugby 'cause the Jew won't pay his dues Jesus can't play rugby 'cause the Jew won't pay his dues Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves! SINGER: Jesus can't play rugby 'cause he's only got 12 men ALL: Jesus can't play rugby 'cause he's only got 12 men Jesus can't play rugby 'cause he's only got 12 men Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves! OTHER VERSES: The goal posts give him flashbacks His dad fixes the games He wears illegal headgear He's got holes in his hands He can't support a hooker Jesus can't play touch judge 'cuz his arms point both ways He's nailed to a cross He's got some open wounds He wears illegal spikes Be sure to finish this song with the following verse, to make sure you don't go to hell (for singing this song, at any rate). ALL: Jesus, we're only joking. Jesus, we're only joking. Jesus, we're only joking. Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves. |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 12 Apr 04 - 12:06 AM Least it go without notice Father Bill - your fine words were contributed on Easter Sunday 2004.
Sincerely, |
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