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BS: casual sex anyone??
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: Sandy Creek Date: 30 Mar 03 - 01:36 PM I am a male (straight) and I have a female friend (lesbian). Years ago we used to go trolling (occasionally) for nooky together. Sometimes we would have a threesome with a willing wench which was very interesting to say the least. At times we would compare notes on the "hotties" we went out with. The most fun we ever had was with the AC/DC wife of a large southern city mayor. Imagine the possibilities. Anybody else ever try this? |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: *daylia* Date: 30 Mar 03 - 12:17 PM Posterchild, 1. In the confessional. My mom wasn't impressed, but the priest was. (Later, he became DE-pressed). ;) 2. Not while anyone was still conscious! Oh, wait ... do ferris wheels count? 3. Only recipes and hockey cards. And sometimes insults. daylia |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: GUEST,A.M. Date: 30 Mar 03 - 11:45 AM ...short for another mudcatter... Agree, Kendall: see my first post above. Posterchild: 1. Yes - by my partner's 10 year old child. We were *having a cuddle*, fortunately, under the duvet! 2. Not exactly, but finger have wriggled their way into some interesting places 3. No. But I might willing! |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: Stilly River Sage Date: 30 Mar 03 - 11:34 AM Oh, Kendall, that double-entendre! Smooth as silk it was! |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: posterchild Date: 30 Mar 03 - 11:29 AM Coitus Interuptus. 1. Where were you having nooky when you were walked in on? 2. Have you had nooky in a room full of people? 3. Have you traded with other's partners? |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: kendall Date: 30 Mar 03 - 11:16 AM Friends CAN be lovers, and, vise versa as long as they are mature and "singing off the same sheet." Furthermore, calling a halt to the sex does not have to mean an end to the friendship. |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: *daylia* Date: 30 Mar 03 - 10:12 AM Well, I hope he does check in soon. At least to see that the thread he started was successful - over 100 hits! |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: GUEST,Another Mudcatter Date: 30 Mar 03 - 09:58 AM Yes, of course that's true. BUT if the brains up for it it usually needs some physical stimulation as well. Thats what Im talking about. If a gal wants to do it with me, I can sure as hell make her come! First! So where is the guy? Hes either screwed himself silly or in jail, I guess! |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: *daylia* Date: 30 Mar 03 - 09:52 AM Hmmmm, "you can give em to others". Well, I'd debate that but this is gettin to be real Shakey territory ... OKay, here goes anyway ... I think that the primary organ of sexual pleasure is the brain, not the more southerly areas. If the brain's otherwise engaged, or blocking response, no amount of external diddling will make a difference. Maybe that's where the saying "f*** your brains out" originated! daylia |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: GUEST,Another Mudcatter Date: 30 Mar 03 - 09:36 AM I wouldn't want anyone fiddling with bits of my body unless they were going to do me some good. Specially if theyr'e gonna stick things in me. So I reckon shes only gonna come back for more if it's fun for her. And, no, you can give em to others! (Not that theres anything wrong with DIY, for either sex). |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: *daylia* Date: 30 Mar 03 - 09:29 AM How graphic! Oh well, I asked ... you go, dude! I've just found that attitude a bit of a rarity. The whambamthankyouma'am approach is much more common. Makes me look at all those plump jolly little Buddhas a bit differently ... daylia PS re "giving orgasms" - aren't they a gift you give yourself? Solo, duet, whatever ... |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: GUEST,Another Mudcatter Date: 30 Mar 03 - 09:17 AM The latter. I'm a guy (though I want to be anonymous in this thread for obvious reasons). I get a real kick out of giving orgasms. With my cock or fingers - or most of all with my tongue! Sorry, ladies, I have a S.O. ! |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: *daylia* Date: 30 Mar 03 - 08:58 AM Almost two days since Shakey checked in? Mudcat to Shakey, Mudcat to Shakey - c'min, please ..... Hmmm, maybe he found out she wasn't that free'n'easy after all, so he's lurking all red-faced behind his mouse? Speaking of embarrassment, maybe he really did try to arrive wearing it and got arrested in the process! Or heaven forbid, she took him for a walk along those "Banks of Red Roses" and introduced him to her "penknife, long and sharp". Pickling jars clinking away in her backpack, no doubt. (that is the meaning of the word "sex" after all - "to cut"). Oooooo ... CALL 911!!! All this comin and goin, comin and goin ... heartbreaking, isn't it? Oh well. C'est la vie, c'est la mort, c'est l'amour. GUEST another Mudcatter, you said "And make sure she comes first". Did you mean to PUT her first in your mind and heart? That's so sweet! Or did you mean, um, like the Tantric yogis teach, that the greatest pleasure in sex comes from stimulating the woman's orgasms? That's maybe even sweeter! Now, I'd be loathe to argue with the Tantric yogis, but I'm wondering - from a man's point of view, is it true?? Eagerly anticipating your Catty responses ... daylia :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: GUEST,another Mudcatter Date: 30 Mar 03 - 07:37 AM In my experience (long but not very extensive) it's tended not to be casual, simply becausei t took so long to persuade her! Last year however a friend and I did it on the just good friends plus sex basis. Once. It might of been more but I found someone I cared for and so id she. Wer'e still friends. As long as your both grownup and sensible, do what you want. ANd make sure she comes first! |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: gnu Date: 30 Mar 03 - 06:51 AM Well, it's almost two days since his last post (28 Mar 03 - 11:11 AM). "Casual" hell, must be some serious fuckin goin on. |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: GUEST,Sam Date: 30 Mar 03 - 03:24 AM Ha ha. That last line was from "The Banks of Red Roses", which actually seems to be about murder to avoid matrimony, insofar as the murder is for any particular reason at all. I haven't actually killed anybody all year. |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: Stilly River Sage Date: 30 Mar 03 - 02:33 AM I hope not your last line, Sam, wherever that knife is directed! Sometimes once is too much if unrequited love is in the mix. Been there, done that. That kind of misery benefits from the passage of time, and often from counseling. |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: GUEST,Sam Date: 30 Mar 03 - 01:57 AM The Turtles International club has a membership test consisting of questions that sound like they have dirty answers, but don't. e.g. What's a four-letter word for intercourse? TALK. The problem with not talking about it first, is the unspoken assumptions that get made. Casual sex can be a wonderful thing IF that's really what you want and you understand that's what you're getting. A year ago, I had a fling that I hoped and prayed was more than a fling. It wasn't. I'm still all broken up over it. I'm a man, she's a woman, we're both in our 30s. Haven't I learned anything by now? 'Then he took out his penknife, it was both long and sharp...' Sam |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: Stilly River Sage Date: 30 Mar 03 - 12:46 AM
Fred, you said a mouthful! ;->SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: Joe_F Date: 29 Mar 03 - 07:18 PM There was once a young lady named Sue Who preferred a stiff drink to a screw. But one leads to the other, And now she's a mother. Let that be a lesson to you. |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: Sam L Date: 29 Mar 03 - 06:07 PM Well, people have different experiences, but I don't think one has to be consumed by jealousy because they once had sex. And friendships come and go without the benefit of sexual fun anyway, and for less worthy reasons. I didn't get the impression there was a great deep friendship at stake. There's always a chance someone who seems like a fruitcake is more interesting than you expect, and if not, well. I'll take the minority position. My grandmother can't stand to see food go to waste. You can't take her out to eat, she complains they bring to much, we'll never eat all that, gets intrusive with people at other tables, it's impossible. I didn't live through the depression, but there was puberty, and I hate to see people not sleeping with each other. It seems like a waste of our natural resources. I get intrusive, too, like Mamaw, I'll be asking guys Aren't you gonna eat that? Come on now. |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: kendall Date: 29 Mar 03 - 05:36 PM As Peg said, There are many ways to skin a cat. (Not in those words.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: *daylia* Date: 29 Mar 03 - 03:48 PM Coming Soon, from R/Evolutionary Homosapiens 2003... BS: casual war anyone?? (shiver shiver) daylia |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: Art Thieme Date: 29 Mar 03 - 02:49 PM "What's that smells like fish, babe..." Art |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: Stilly River Sage Date: 29 Mar 03 - 01:32 PM Good cartoons. Here is the beginning of the whole slide show. SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: DougR Date: 29 Mar 03 - 12:49 PM Sorry, Charlie, but you can't copywrite a title. DougR |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: *daylia* Date: 29 Mar 03 - 12:31 PM Sex and War, American style Click here, too! :) daylia |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: JennyO Date: 29 Mar 03 - 10:46 AM Woody Allen to Diane Keaton in a movie (was it "Play it again Sam"?) "Sex without love is a pretty empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best!" Jenny ;-D |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: *daylia* Date: 29 Mar 03 - 09:03 AM "It's not just her attitude towards it; it's also yours. How will you feel seeing her with someone else afterwards? Sex, like money, changes everything." Right on, Cluin. That's why I said that the best way to lose a friend is to have sex with one. Having sex with someone tends to activate all those underlying cultural sexual expectations/roles we've been conditioned to hold and play out, consciously or otherwise. Friendships often buckle under the pressure of "You should - I should". WHoever would want a "monogamous" friendship? A friend-turned-lover is a friend no more - the parameters of relationship change entirely, and often not for the better imo. And true friends are too valuable to lose for a few minutes of the wild monkey-dance. "...if your heart ain't in it, you're better off playing with your instrument alone." That does sound lonely. How bout playing your instrument "al-one"?! John in Kansas, thanks for sharing your insights into the pitfalls of having "casual" sex from a man's perspective. I've watched that very scenario play out among my acquaintances a few times, and the biggest losers are so often the children involved. Re sex and war - I submit that they are related, because (1) The production of the hormones that govern both sexual and aggressive functions (ie. adrenalin, testosterone) in humans is regulated by the same area of the brain, the hypothalamus. And there is a definite correlation between testosterone levels and both aggressive and sexual behaviors, in either gender. When testosterone levels increase, both behaviours increase. To quote from James Kalat's "Biological Psychology", "Testosterone probably enhances the likelihood of human violence. Throughout the world, males engage in more violent behavior than females do ... Moreover, the highest incidence of violence, as measured by crime statistics, is in men 15-25 years old, who also have the highest levels of testosterone in the blood." Is it any wonder that it is the young men of any society who form the bulk of it's armies? (2) The ancients recognized this connection even though they had no biological, "scientific" explanation for it. That's why the God/desses of war in so many traditions are the very same as the God/desses of sex ie. Shiva and the Kali-Ma of the Hindus, Freya of the Norse, Bast/Sekhmet of the Egyptians, even Mars/Aries of the Greeks and Romans (although they had other sexual deities as well). (3) Sex and war both have 3 letters, with a vowel in the middle! ;) daylia |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: GUEST,Openminded Date: 29 Mar 03 - 05:01 AM yes please.. |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: Cluin Date: 29 Mar 03 - 04:26 AM Dear Mudcat Forum, I've read your posts for years and I guess I never really believed any of them. I never thought it would happen to me but then I met Rhonda at a folk festival. She said she was "into free expression".. Naw! Don't do it, Shakey Joe. Take it from a guy who's been with a "bit of a fruitcake" or two in his time. You'll regret it later. Casual sex doesn't work out unless you're off on vacation far from home and will never see her again. It's not just her attitude towards it; it's also yours. How will you feel seeing her with someone else afterwards? Sex, like money, changes everything. In both cases, if your heart ain't in it, you're better off playing with your instrument alone. And just because you think it's all discussed and worked out honestly and openly ahead of time, that won't mean Jack Schitt afterwards. Once you've planked each other, all bets are off, man. Somebody's getting hurt, if there's no ongoing relationship. Dating sucks. But it's how we meet and get together with those we're meant to. Sex is the best way to spend your time, but it gets a whole lot better with time spent with the same person. You know that, right? But maybe you'll just have to piss on the `lectric fence for yourself and see... |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: C-flat Date: 29 Mar 03 - 03:28 AM no red flags. I'm away for a shower and a shave. I'll report back!! wish me luck, I'm goin' in! Has anyone seen Shakey Joe? Is there someone we should notify? At this very moment he could be trussed up like an oven-ready chicken, wearing nothing but a duct-tape gag and hand-cuffed to a radiator while "fruitcake" sharpens her knives and shows him her collection of pickling jars that she keeps in her refridgerator!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: Deckman Date: 29 Mar 03 - 01:39 AM ART! Totally OFF the wall, but I was very impressed with your caution regarding fresh fish and car plates. Out here in the Pacific N.W., I often caution my customers to never ... "hire a carpenter with a new hammer!. CHEERS, Bob(deckman)Nelson |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: Art Thieme Date: 28 Mar 03 - 11:32 PM Never buy fresh fish from a car with Oklahoma plates----no matter how good it looks. Art Thieme |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: GUEST,Mudcatter again Date: 28 Mar 03 - 11:28 PM A game we play, of sexual distractions, words to titilate by, generated the following single sentence: "Backlit by an entryway light, the svelt pair coupled near the wall of hotel glass, a mirror to their own passionate moves, he behind, hands on her hips, supple hips delivering deep thrusts, allowing the silent watchers from across the city canyon to stand transfixed, turgid against the glass of their darkened rooms." Sure as hell beats the one-night-stand stuff, wondering what it will be like. Much better to fuck with a friend. |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: Rustic Rebel Date: 28 Mar 03 - 10:16 PM Go for it Shakey, you don't use it, you could lose it. Fruitcake? What does that mean, she's still got her cherry? Be tender than! Make it last awhile, I would think at your ages you could go for hours and multiple times if you know what I mean. Only advice I can give is make it as good for her as it is for you. Peace. (of ass to you)Rustic |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: GUEST,a Mudcatter Date: 28 Mar 03 - 10:02 PM Coward that I am, I'll post this remark anonymously. It's possible to have sex with a friend in a long-term relationship, acknowledging that you're having sex because you enjoy sex with each other, but you don't want to go into a committed relationship beyond fair-play in the sexual relationship. I've had a relationship like that for a number of years now. He is married, happily, and this isn't intended to compete with the wife and family. It works for us--and that's where we leave it. We're very careful about not broadcasting our relationship when we're around others in settings where either of us might be recognized. Since neither of us is a fruitcake, as apparently may be the case of one partner in the scenario described by the erstwhile fornicator, this may not be a good example for him to try to emulate. But for others, I don't think it hurts to point out that if you set aside some of the Christian dogma, it's possible to have this kind of relationship and not suffer for it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: gnu Date: 28 Mar 03 - 09:45 PM Apparently, you are on the way, er, underway, perhaps, from your last post... "wish me luck, I'm goin' in! " (which could be your last post.) I hope all works out for you with the rest of the relationship as well. Just remember that no matter what you and she discussed regarding the nature of this relationship, she may soon have the right to have you thrown in jail or to remove you from half (or more, much more) of your assests. |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: annamill Date: 28 Mar 03 - 06:27 PM Just don't tell her you'll call her afterwards! Insulting! Annamill |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: GUEST,Mars Date: 28 Mar 03 - 05:51 PM Sex and War. Yes, indeed. They can be related, but it doesn't have to be like that. Some people do use sex as a weapon, as a few of you have indicated in your posts. This is usually an unfortunate situation with an unfortunate outcome. If both parties agree to the rules of engagement, there should be no problem. However, do keep in mind that the best-laid plans (haha) only work for about 5 minutes in a combat situation. Of course, for some people, 5 minutes is all it takes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: GUEST,alinact Date: 28 Mar 03 - 05:29 PM Shakey, SHAKEY - get out of there quick, you don't know where she's been! Late 20's and still nutty as a fruitcake? I've met females like that and they are definitely not worth 3 (4,5 etc, depending on your prowess) minutes of pleasure. Allan |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: open mike Date: 28 Mar 03 - 04:52 PM spring fever, indeed! |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: Charley Noble Date: 28 Mar 03 - 04:49 PM I'm going to pass these posts on to my 98 year old father who's in the process of drafting a collection of short stories whose working title is "Junk Love." Father's not adverse to compromising his principles at this stage in his life as long as it promises to make money in the short run. Don't try to steal his title; he'll sue! Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: GUEST,amergin Date: 28 Mar 03 - 04:31 PM Me I cannot do casual sex....I tend to be too deeply involved with the women I'm with for that.....whether love...or a deep caring... |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: JohnInKansas Date: 28 Mar 03 - 04:14 PM Something for the back of the mind - I have had two separate young male acquaintances who were invited to have "just for fun" sex, and in both cases the females involved deliberately arranged to become pregnant. In one case, it was because "the bio-clock" was running down. In the second, it was the hope that becoming pregnant would "secure a relationship." Both mothers immediately assured the guys that they intended to raise the children themselves and "didn't want any support" and that the guys would not be "obligated." In both cases there were occasions for application for "assistance," and in both cases the state agencies demanded and obtained identification of the fathers, obtained court orders for paternity tests, and applied financial "attachments" to the rest of their lives - including, in both cases, massive amounts of "back child support." The mothers were not given a choice in the matter. Both of the females were "fruit cakes." Neither of the guys considered their "one night partner" a candidate for any kind of long term relationship. (Although in both cases, they were long-term acquantances.) In any relationship there is the possiblity of "hidden agendas." Such agendas are most likely, and least likely to be revealed when you deal with "fruitcake" personalities (male or female). Enjoy fair, honest, and pleasing relations(hips) with people where you can - but be very cautious with unknown or unstable personalities. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: CarolC Date: 28 Mar 03 - 04:01 PM I think more (hetero) men than women are likely to lie jsut to get laid... *very big grin* Women usually don't need to lie just to get laid. ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: Stilly River Sage Date: 28 Mar 03 - 03:56 PM A poor young man in the dorm where I lived briefly in my undergraduate years dated a young woman who was emotionally challenged. He was very sweet, but couldn't figure what she really wanted, and when she finally went around the bend it was quite a scene in the dormitory foyer. I ended up calling the paramedics to come get her, and they took her to the psychicatric ward. If SJ still goes through with this appointment, don't forget the lube. |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: katlaughing Date: 28 Mar 03 - 03:42 PM Well said, Peg and Nicole. It IS a sterotype that women always have a further agenda and don't just enjoy sex for itself. Some of us find it quite enjoyable especially when there are no strings attached! And, I don't think that just comes with age; I felt the same way in my late twenties.:-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: Sandy Creek Date: 28 Mar 03 - 03:40 PM katlaughing, "I will dance with you, but I will not fuck you." What if the dance is the Horizontal Bump? |
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Subject: RE: BS: casual sex anyone?? From: Peg Date: 28 Mar 03 - 03:33 PM agreed MMario, and I am aware sometime women are apt to be MORE manipulative than men in this behavior (I have seen some scarily predatory women in my day); but as for sheer numbers, I think more (hetero) men than women are likely to lie jsut to get laid... I kinda agree with harpgirl, Shakey Joe sounds like a self-centered idiot. Although at least he got us talking about somehting besides the war. Reminds me of the old skit on Saturday Night Live; a man is asked by a police officer, "So, even when your girlfriend tried to burn your house down and posion your dog, you stayed with her--?" The man responds with a blank stare and then says "Well, the sex was great." Practice safe sex, everyone, even though it doesn't guarantee no spread of STD's (virtually nothing short of abstinence prevents the spread of HPV/genital warts which is becoming very prevalent these days; no big danger for men usually but can lead to cervical dysplasia and sometimes cervical cancer in women...) And if pregnancy/ticking biological clocks are an issue, there are any number of fun activities besides intercourse to engage in... |
