Subject: Lyr Req: Guide cats for the blind: Les Barker From: Mr Happy Date: 30 Jun 03 - 06:12 PM a good fiend of mine would like the words of this one if anyone has them. she has a visual deficit herself yet, like all else wwho've heard mr barker perform this peom, finds it excrutiatingly rib splitting [or should i say, side tickling?] thanks in advance, mr h |
Subject: DTADD: Guide Cats for the Blind (Les Barker) From: Morticia Date: 30 Jun 03 - 07:09 PM GUIDE CATS FOR THE BLIND (Les Barker) The word futile springs to mind Mission Impossible, yes that's The attempt to harness for mankind The intelligence of cats You've made a basic error Now let me expound This master/servant thing's okay But no, not that way round We don't do the faithful subject We don't do the daily grind You never should have attempted it Guide cats for the Blind Give kitty so much trust And we'll abuse the privelege You think you're going out? You're opening the fridge You think I'm trying to help you? I'm not serving man but Mammon You think you've gained a faithful friend You've lost a plate of salmon I might lead you down the High Street I'll be back when I have dined We get very, very hungry Being Guide Cats for the Blind It can't be very pleasant Of this I've little doubt To have your head stuck in a catflap Whether facing in or out You could be here a day or two With half you out in the rain I've got to go, I've got things to do Maybe I'll pass this way again A dog would go for help Cats are not that way inclined Cats have better things to do than being Guide Cats for the blind Of some matters I am ignorant But this I know for certain The best place for a blind man Is not halfway up a curtain And why do they have to be Up on a roof at 4am? It's the perfect place for me to be But what's in it for them? It was where I had to go And he just tags behind I don't know why, only a fool would follow Guide cats for the blind |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Guide cats for the blind: Les Barker From: Charley Noble Date: 30 Jun 03 - 08:33 PM Simply lovely! Charley Noble |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Guide cats for the blind: Les Barker From: Mr Happy Date: 01 Jul 03 - 08:06 PM morty, much gratitude! for your most rapid response! cheers, Mr H |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Guide cats for the blind: Les Barker From: LadyJean Date: 02 Jul 03 - 12:44 AM I worked for the 2000 Census. I took personal abuse from the people I interviewed. I took personal abuse from my friends. I took personal abuse from strangers on the street. My support system was my cat, Fitz. Cats can be altruistic. They just don't care to be trained. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Guide cats for the blind: Les Barker From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 02 Jul 03 - 09:11 AM Well, most cats like to be kind to their pets. But they like to keep a sense of proportion about it, that's all. They don't get to be counted in the census either. Can't see why not. I always like the alleged remark by a farmer explaining why he liked pigs: "A dog will look up to you. A cat will look down at you. But pigs - pigs is level." |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Guide cats for the blind: Les Barker From: Herga Kitty Date: 02 Jul 03 - 03:35 PM Thanks Morty I sent it to my colleagues at work under the heading "Alternatives to tactile paving" and it was much appreciated. Kitty PS I hate tactile paving even though I know it's useful, but I like cats.... |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Guide cats for the blind: Les Barker From: Liz the Squeak Date: 02 Jul 03 - 03:36 PM Tactile paving? You mean the paving slabs with boils? LTS |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Guide cats for the blind: Les Barker From: Herga Kitty Date: 02 Jul 03 - 05:22 PM Liz - yes. It's supposed to help people who can't see very well to find the right place to cross the road. Except the other week I saw some that had cunningly been laid to direct them diagonally into the path of traffic coming from all directions..... some of them would probably be better off up the curtains at 4am! Kitty |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Guide cats for the blind: Les Barker From: Gareth Date: 03 Jul 03 - 08:15 AM Just Fancy that Department Warrented true - Caerphilly County Borough Council laid a nice tactile road crossing at Penpedairheol traffic lights. They also put a lamp post in the center of the tactile pavement. Morons !!! Gareth |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Guide cats for the blind: Les Barker From: Liz the Squeak Date: 03 Jul 03 - 05:01 PM There's a lovely bit just outside the London Hospital, Whitechapel... leads them away from a lovely safe wall, round a dogleg bend and into not one, but two bollards, which are there to stop cars mounting the pavement at that spot. They've been placed so that they are just wide enough apart to get a car through. LTS |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Guide cats for the blind: Les Barker From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 03 Jul 03 - 05:22 PM A few years back our council stuck a post up right in the middle of a pavement ("sidewalk"). A blind bloke, who likes to walk around quite fast in places he's checked out as being safe, walked straight into it and knocked himself out. So he picked himself up, went home and got a hacksaw and came down and cut eh post down - and informed the local press. Since then they have been more careful about such things. |
Share Thread: |
Subject: | Help |
From: | |
Preview Automatic Linebreaks Make a link ("blue clicky") |