BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 02:46 PM

Tomatoes don't mind if their bed is sandy. Of course, they have no knees to chafe either.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Def Shepard
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 11:37 AM

Naked morris dancing in a giant vat fill with tomato....no wait that doesn't scan at all... :-D

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: GUEST,Dan the Quail
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 10:12 AM

What does Chongo Chimp think about eating a Tomatoe?

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 09:31 AM

Tomato is good for the prostate. Good prostate, possibly better sex?
Maybe a reason for the Italian love of the fruit (US fixation with ketchup and Spanish love of salsa).

http://vitamins.ultimatefatburner.com/lycopene.html

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Genie
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 12:18 AM

Technically, a tomato is a "fruit" only in the botanical sense -- i.e., it's an ovary. (Women have those too, I'm told.)
But when you're talking about eating one (cuisine), it's a "vegetable" just as carrots (roots), lettuce (leaves), celery (stems), and peas (seeds) are.

So if your sex involves eating, then there's nothing fruity about tomatoes being involved. If your sex is somehow scientific and you do it with tomatoes,* you're talking ovaries.


*Come to think of it, didn't they used to call a comely woman a "tomato" back in the '30s and '40s?

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: frogprince
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 10:46 PM

"Tomatoes, sex, what's the difference? Tomatoes get really red when ripe and squirt when you bite them. They're messy and drip all over you. 5 minutes after you've had one you want another AND you can slice them up and put them on a sandwich."

You're right, it does all sound about the same....until you get to the slice up and put on a sandwich part; then things get a little scary there....

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Slag
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 09:19 PM

The only Biblical stricture which comes to mind about either fruit ( which is what a tomato is) or a vegetable was about the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil. There is no description of this fruit and beyond the literal point of view, it would appear to be only a metaphor for disobedience to God. All the rest of the plant kingdom seems to stand on its own merits. Tares, bad because it produces no edible seed, wheat good for the counter reason. The crown of thorns, the laurel wreath, chamomile tea, hemp, poppies, poppy seed, Jimson weed, liana vine: they all have their place, under the sun.

I don't hear the phrase to much of late but "she's a tomato!" used to mean that you were looking at a fine example of feminine pulchritude! So, in simile at any rate, tomatoes and sex are related. I believe that the tomato is in the family of plants known as Belladonna. Of course Belladonna means "beautiful lady". It didn't get that appellation from gorgeous flowers (small, pale blue) or drupaceous fruit (little beady berries). Rather, the fruit contains a poison known as atropine. In appropriate doses it has many beneficial effects on the human body. It can counter dict nerve agents and other poisons, decrease and help regulate motility, dilate blood vessels and dilate the eye. The later effect is what gave the plant its name as it was used to dilate the young ladies' eyes ( used especially in Spain) to make them look bigger and blacker than ordinary. So there is another connection, in a way, to sexuality and sensuality.

The Aztecs grew the tomato for ornamentation as well as food. When the plant made its way to Europe it had acquired the reputation as being poisonous. The courageous soul who first tried eating the "forbidden" fruit was a real pioneer and was rewarded with a real delight. Sensual, tasty, beautiful, satisfying, no disease or unwanted offspring, good for you, no guilt, easy to grow, no life commitments! What's not to love? That tomato is one hot babe!

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Leadfingers
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 09:09 PM

Well I have a tomato to eat nerly every day ! Wish I Could say the same   === NO - Thats Too Much Information !

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Bobert
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 08:54 PM

Ummmm, I did not have sex with that tomato...

(Be honest, Boberdz...)

No, really... I didn't... I swear I didn't!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 08:29 PM

I'm ambidexturous. I can enjoy both. :)

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 08:17 PM

She may have meant "better than sex with William F. Buckley Junior". Or Woody Allen.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Ed T
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 07:32 PM

I once was told by a friend that his wife said that a certain smoked salmon is "better than sex". I have always been curious as to what that really meant?

As to the post topic, it generally depends on who one would/could have sex with, the degree of interest in sex, and the quality of the tomatoe.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Jeri
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 07:10 PM

Aha! 'WS' - got it. They haven't tried to cross a tribble with a tomato have they? 'Tomibble'? 'Tribato'?

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 07:03 PM

Hmmm. Okay, here's what I'm thinking. Attend one of our free seminars and see what you can pick up by mingling among the staff and students at the soiree afterward. Wear a sign saying "Will polish your beefsteak for information." I guarantee that will get results. It's surprising who shows up at these events, and you never know when He might drop in for an unannounced visit! Matter of fact, that's half of what keeps people coming. They couldn't live with themselves if they missed out on that.

There's a gigantic replica of a Tribble on the front lawn, complete with real fur, and it makes a great backdrop for photos, so bring friends and family if you can.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Jeri
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 06:26 PM

WSSBA?

I don't have a few thousand dollars. Could I maybe trade some recipes or polish someone's beefsteak?

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 06:20 PM

If you don't know what the difference is, Jeri, I suggest some evening courses at the WSSBA. A few thousand dollars later we'll have you all straightened out, and you'll have no more problems confusing sex with eating tomatoes.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Jeri
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 05:53 PM

Tomatoes, sex, what's the difference? Tomatoes get really red when ripe and squirt when you bite them. They're messy and drip all over you. 5 minutes after you've had one you want another AND you can slice them up and put them on a sandwich.

I love tomatoes--real red vine ripened summer tomatoes. Sex, I think I remember.

Of course, you could put a bunch or tomatoes in a giant vat and folks could get naked and dive in was a salt cellar. Of course then you'd have to worry about whether that nicely shaped ripe one was the one Bubba just had jammed in his butt crack. Oh well, no idea is perfect.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Michael
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 04:56 PM

From Wikipedia:
Tomatoes' status as an aphrodisiac may be due to a mistranslation. Legend has it a Frenchman on his travels ate a meal with tomatoes in it and was fascinated with the new taste. He went back to the chef, who was Italian, and asked him what this new ingredient was. The chef said "Pomme de Maure" (Apple of the Moors), but the Frenchman misunderstood and thought he said "Pomme d'amour" (apple of love). The modern Italian word for tomato however is "pomodoro", which means "golden apple". However Spanish importation from the New World may explain the connection to the Moors.


Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Genie
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 04:43 PM

I vote for the Long Keeper variety.
I'm for anything long that has endurance.   

Yes, they used to be called "love apples." Not sure why.

And, yes, Kendall, the rumor once was that tomatoes were poisonous and they are in the nightshade family.   Naturopathic medicine folks often advise people with rheumatoid arthritis to avoid anything in the nightshade family, including tomatoes. (They make you stiff when you have sex - but in the wrong places.)

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: kendall
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 04:24 PM

There was a time in history when tomatoes were believed to be poisonous.Don't they belong to the nightshade family?

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Michael
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 04:01 PM

Genuine tomato varieties:

Burgess Crackproof
Dunkin's Delight
Big Mamma
Cream Sausage
Green Sausage
Stallion
Purple Russian (Blackadder?)
Czech's Bush
Yellow Stuffer
Mexico Midget
Black Plum
Camp Joy
Long Keeper
Marianna's Peace

And that's just for starters, so I suggest that this question has been asked and answered before.

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 02:17 PM

I Love Apples!

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Rasener
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 01:57 PM

Yes I have read something about that Mike

Hmm no more Viagra :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Michael
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 01:10 PM

My Granny said that when she was a girl (early 1900's) tomatoes were known as 'Love Apples'. So perhaps The Villan is onto somthing after all.

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 01:07 PM

Heh! You're sort of right, Amos. Sort of. It's also true, however, that Shane is the epitome of the very people who bugged the hell out of me in my youth and whom I detested and loathed. So I'm getting a gleeful revenge on all of them now through the vehicle of various imaginary dumbass alteregos such as Shane.

Now, Chongo....Chongo is a little different. He's no dumbass. He's what I could be like if a much more bold, reckless, don't-give-a-damn-what-they-think-and-let-the-chips-fall-where-they-may side of my character got to express itself. Chongo basically has a good character, but he's not inhibited in the least. He's a good guy to have around in an emergency or if you need some heads busted. He is simply not afraid. That's a very rare thing to find. The only thing that scares Chongo is when he falls hard for a "dame" and figures that maybe she doesn't feel the same way about him. Ah...those can be torturous times indeed for my simian pal. In that respect he and I are quite alike.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: kendall
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 01:07 PM

Having sex with the wrong person is like eating tomatoes. I don't care for either.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Def Shepard
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 01:06 PM

And are you getting a government grant for your research? :-D

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Peace
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 01:04 PM

I let you know after I try it.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Peace
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 01:01 PM

YOU are a trouble maker. FYI !!

However, I will answer that question.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Def Shepard
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 12:58 PM

Is eating tomatoes while morris dancing better than sex? Or is that an entirely different thread? :-D

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 12:57 PM

Shane, as we all know, is the outward manifestation in cyberspace of the dark, inner side of Little Hawk's own personality--the person he would become if he let himself go.

Fortunately, LH has things well in hand, so to speak.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 12:53 PM

You got it, Bee-dub. ;-) Shane will jump anything as long as it's female. Anything. What he really needs is one of those RealDolls that you can buy, because the RealDoll will never say "no". Only trouble is they cost a hell of a lot of money, so Shane can't afford to get one.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 12:48 PM

Nah, Shane's never eaten a tomato. They don't sell 'em at Tim's. Anyway, they don't go well with beer.

And as far as sex goes, Shane's so hard up he'll fuck a snake if he can find someone to hold it straight.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Peace
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 12:40 PM

Shane told you to say that, didn't he ?!

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 12:39 PM

Eating tomatoes is no big deal unless they are extremely fresh off the vine. Then it's great.

Sex is not too big a deal either unless it's with someone you love dearly. Then it's great.

If you want true satisfaction, always look for real quality in life, not just for the bare, prosaic, literal definition of the outward act.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 12:27 PM

If the tomatoes are home-grown and fresh off the vine, it's a pretty close contest.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Gulliver
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 12:18 PM

A woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red.

One day, she meet a neighbour who had the most beautiful garden full of red tomatoes. She asked him, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?"

He responded, "Each day at sunrise I water my tomatoes, I sing to them wearing only my house coat and just before going back into the house I flash in front of my garden. and my tomatoes turn red from blushing."

Being impressed, she decided to try the same thing.

A week later he was passing by and asked "By the way, how are tomatoes ?"

"Still green," she replied, "however, my cucumbers are huge!"


(I'll get me coat...) Don

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Genie
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 12:15 PM

Maybe the best of all is eating tomatoes WHILE having sex?   

I mean, it's been done with chocolate, honey, whipped cream, strawberries, etc. Why not with those big, red, juicy, salty fruits?

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 12:05 PM

Is having sex with a tomato better than eating a person?


A

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: theleveller
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:58 AM

"Last time I ate a tomato (around 1977) I broke out in hives"

Same thing happens when I eat honey.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Rasener
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:58 AM

Is that a bit like mud wrestling Guest?

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Rasener
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:56 AM

And thats a hoot of a picture Peace LOL

Glad to see most people aren't taking it too serious.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Rasener
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:54 AM

Leveller, that is so funny. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Peace
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:53 AM

Depends what ya do with them.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Rasener
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:51 AM

I seed your post GS and you pipped everybody else to the best answer :-)

Do tomatoes have any nutritional value?

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: catspaw49
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:49 AM

Yeah but that wasn't with Villain..........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Becca72
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:49 AM

Last time I ate a tomato (around 1977) I broke out in hives and then threw up...the last time I had sex was much more pleasant...so I guess my answer is "No".

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: catspaw49
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:48 AM

The word on the street is that its better than having sex with YOU Villain! Don't know for sure myself but I have seen it a lot of bathroom walls..............

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Peace
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:47 AM

Posted without comment.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: theleveller
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:45 AM

I can just imagine the greengrocer smirking at me: "More toms...suppose you aren't getting enough of the other, eh?"

Just hope my wife doesn't ask for a cucumber.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Gulliver
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:38 AM

Don't forget that the tomato is a fruit...

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Peace
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:35 AM

Eat, eat, eat, Doesn't anyone think of fu--it's the punchline for a joke I heard about 35 years ago.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: theleveller
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:27 AM

I'm sure there must be some stricture in the bible about eating tomatoes out of wedlock. Either way, some religious group will ban it as immoral.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:25 AM

Think Tom Jones.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: GUEST,Wondering
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:23 AM

A woman I know, and with whom I had dinner (in an Italian restaurant), and while we were discussing tomato slices on Pizza, began talking most sensuously about how she liked to "suck all the seeds out" of a whole Tomato. Have I just got a feverish imagination or....

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:18 AM

Consider this:-
Tomatoes never complain!
You don't catch STDs from tomatoes.
Tomatoes are always oraly satisfying.
Tomatoes aren't worried about the colour of your skin.
You can have a tomato whever you want one.
Tomatoes don't get headaches.
Tomatoes are invariably juicy, even when they are older.
You can love tomatoes and they never let you down.

Point proved for you Villan

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Wesley S
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:17 AM

Maybe the question should be "Is eating a tomato safer than having sex {with another person}.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Peace
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:13 AM

The answer is, of course, NOT THESE DAYS. There is a salmonella outbreak in some of the US (possibly Mexico) tomato crop. But there seems to be a connection between tomatoes and sex.

"Salmonella is a genus of rod-shaped Gram-negative enterobacteria that causes typhoid fever, paratyphoid fever, and foodborne illness."

Notice that the enterobacteria are ROD-SHAPED !! Probably more than anyone wanted to know.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Gulliver
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:11 AM

Sounds like you're not having much of a sex life, Villan.

Subject: RE: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Peace
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:09 AM

You are a sick man, Villan. VERY, VERY SICK!

Subject: BS: Is eating tomatoes BetterThanHaving sex?
From: Rasener
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:07 AM

Well is it?