BS: is the word wanker politically correct

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 06:35 AM

It became politically correct when Ivor Biggun recorded the ' Wankers Song '

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Mr Happy
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 06:40 AM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wanker

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Will Fly
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 06:59 AM

Was he Mr Bates or Master?

Master was what we called him - what did you expect? :-)

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: GUEST,Wilfred Penifere
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 12:22 PM

I will not stand idly by and be treated with utter contempt by this forum. I have borne it long enough. Very well. You asked for it. You lot are a bunch of worthless pillocks!

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 12:28 PM

Wazzock. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 03:00 PM

It must be politically correct, as it is arguably the only one word description which accurately describes those, of whatever nationality, who rise to the top in politics.

One more step upward and they'll all be in the gutter.


Said with tongue in cheek.


Fingers tightly crossed behind back.
Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 03:08 PM

An old comment, recently topical again, has it that the collective term for Bankers is a "wunch"

As in a wunch of bankers!



I can't recall who the quote was from, but there was the old time music hall comedian who claimed to have been walking along a narrow cliffside path when he met a young lady "I didn't know whether to block her passage, or toss myself off!"

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Will Fly
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 03:21 PM

The apocryphal story is that Max Miller was banned by the BBC for making that joke on air. Untrue.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 06:54 PM

Will Fly - oh gosh, I thought it was because the dance team was called Woodfidley. But a w replaced the sp.

Kitty

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 07:03 PM

I don't think political correctness and direct insults have anything to do with one another. "Politically incorrect" implies that some people may find a word offensive while others do not. "Negro" is no longer politically correct, but it's not usually spoken as a direct insult. "Wanker" is intended as an insult. Asking whether "wanker" is politically correct is a bit like asking whether "Goddamned shit-for-brains fuck-faced asshole" is politically correct.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: gnu
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 07:09 PM

Well, it is for some, BWL, but few can toss it offhand. I can only think of two, and that's shoving it a bit too far.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 08:03 PM

No, seriously, the issue is that it is a sexual insult. The second-level meaning is that the "wanker" is unable to obtain two-party sexual congress. It is a statement that the wanker is disempowered. Thus there is an implication that sexual relations are a matter of one party overpowering the other - and usually the intendedly empowered party is the male.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 08:06 PM

What if you're wanking someone else though?

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Peace
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 08:08 PM

'"Goddamned shit-for-brains fuck-faced asshole"'

You'd best start considering how Canucks feel when you speak about our leader in that manner. Keriste. That is politically correct!

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: gnu
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 08:08 PM

"usually the intendedly empowered party is the male"

What? The women got half the money and all the pussy. THAT is empowered.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Peace
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 08:10 PM

I'm gettin' my ass OFF this thread before I get in trouble.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 08:17 PM

Me too - I don't want to sound as if I'm blowing my own trumpet, but I have both hands full at the present.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Peace
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 08:23 PM

Smokey, you need a wheelbarrow . . .

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 08:49 PM

Hmm.. I'm not sure I can control myself around garden implements.. and it can make such a mess - one can be scrubbing gnomes for days.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Mr Happy
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 06:02 AM

The junior section of the Boys Brigade is now known as the Anchor Boys.

In towns/ districts whose names end in a 'W' - they need to take care how they say it, as in '49th Glasgow Anchor Boys'

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 09:14 AM

I have realised that, over the years, I have started to use the term for anyone who performs a particularly selfish act. In traffic, for instance, it is most often applied to BMW drivers:-) (Yes, I know there are a few decent ones but you know what I mean) Those who will do what they want regardless of the mess they cause. I think it was most suitably applied in 'The Commitments'. On ticking off the sax player (I think) the leader says that he is supposed to be playing soul, not jazz. Jazz, he comments, is musical wanking...

:D (eG)

(Who has now offended BMW drivers and Jazz lovers in one easy paragraph)

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 10:50 AM

Wanking is the achievement of ejaculation without orgasm; it seems some 80% of all men suffer from this inability, leading to feelings of guilt, inadequacy, frustration, depression and in extreme cases it might even result in them taking up folk singing. Onanism, on the other hand, is celebratory, shameless & joyful male-masturbation in which the virtuosic techniques of ecstasy result in a near infinite orgasmic plateau long before the old semen puts in an appearance, which is, of course, optional. And it turns women on something rotten. If God hadn't wanted us to masturbate he'd have put our genitals in the middle of our backs.

Otherwise - any good masturbation songs? Here's one:

Muddy Mouth from Robert Wyatt's Ruth is Stranger than Richard (1975)

Deep in the undergrows, Handy sighed with relief. He'd come alone in the dark
He'd come again at dawn, if not before the morning cockrise
Meanwhile in the bushes above, behind the toepath which goes along
Beside the canal leading to the sea, which in turn leads on to
All the major oceans - Indian, Atlantic, Pacific,
I can't remember the names Of the others
off - Handy cided to leave
He'd come apart at the seam - endangered life and lawn order before
The more since he lies (even under oaf handy lies) when he feels caught
Between righthand wrong. I think he just might have been wrong this time
Which in turn left him with few alternatives to relieving himself by hand
Alone in the dark, wanking in the bog?

Another is Three Tenses Onanism from Kew. Rhone by John Greaves & Peter Blegvad (1977) but I don't have the words to hand. Anyone??

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 04:02 PM

Both "wanker" and "Goddamned shit-for-brains fuck-faced asshole" are politically correct. They are INSULTS!!! If anyone tried to start a movement to forbid all derogatory opinions being expressed, all statements of outraged disapprobation, all condemnations of profound, bottomless, pecker-blind stupidity on the part of our fellow humans of various ages real or imagined, they would be laughed out of town as a bunch of panty-waisted pussies, is that not so? Might as well try to outlaw salt and pepper.


A

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: The Sandman
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 04:12 PM

Dick plays his Willy song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0zAr1t6nTE

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 04:32 PM

"ejaculation without orgasm; it seems some 80% of all men suffer from this inability"

WOT?

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 06:37 PM

Wot indeed....
Well, each to his own, as they say.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Peace
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 06:38 PM

Ya gotta hand it to him, huh?

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 06:59 PM

I'd rather not, if it's all the same to you..

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 09:11 PM

What's worse? "Wanker" or "tosser"?

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 09:31 PM

After a considerable amount of scientific research, I say'tosser' is better for muttering under your breath as it requires less movement of the mouth. On the other hand, 'wanker' is probably more easily understood by lip-readers. For maximum communicability though, it's hard to beat a simple gesture.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Peace
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 09:38 PM

Chongo: man of few words . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: GUEST,Mr Red
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 06:11 AM

It is ever so slightly easier to say than banker and more appropriate. And given the government involvement in banking these days, very political and correct in that context also.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Lox
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 09:21 AM

choking the chongo ...

... chafing the chimp ...

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: goatfell
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 04:03 AM

in australia they talk about blowing off or the men are are about to blow, but hten they wnet a PC a fish's name

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: GUEST,Michelin Man
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 08:28 AM

The best one is when the wife does it for you - she saya it can be quite hard work

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 09:07 AM

Didn't Henry VIII have a personal man-servant to attend to such matters as onanism? In which case is it truly onanism? No doubt he was skilled in the art of fellatio too, as few men are, though there is a further rumour that the diminutive pop-star Prince had certain ribs removed to facilitate an oral dimension to the business of self-love. I dare say for us fat folky blokes a good deal of liposuction would be involved as well...

I wonder, how many here have ever sucked their own dick? Or yet licked their own pussies? Which brings me back to an intriguing medieval carving that might be found on the exterior of the church of in St. Michael's-on-Wyre in which a female contortionist appears to be doing just that:

Sheela-Na-Gig / Sexual Contortionist - 15th Century

And not quite the same thing but I think this is my favourite ever YouTube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrPosTPSXxw

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 06:48 PM

Dammit, now I've got a bad back, I'm coughing up hairballs, and the poor cat is quite bewildered. That's the last time I take advice from you..

I thought onanism was 'casting one's seed upon the ground'.. I don't think the D.I.Y. approach is compulsory.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 04:53 AM

That's the last time I take advice from you..

Sorry, I should have made that clearer. By pussies I meant c*nts rather than c*ts, though if you'd followed the picture link all would have been made clear. I could have said fanny of course, but in America the word means something very different indeed - hence the look of mute bafflement on a hitherto belligerent London bus-driver's face when an old American girlfriend told him to go kiss my fanny.

Apparantly Zappa's Over-Nite Sensation refers to the practise of using a grapefruit for the purposes of masturbation. Any other strange accessories out there in the taboo realms of wanklore?

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Rusty Dobro
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 09:20 AM

Our local council, or maybe newspaper, is issuing car stickers with the legend 'Don't Be A Tosser!', directed at litter-droppers. When I was growing up, 'tosser' was a heavy-duty swear-word, just like 'wanker' - you wouldn't let a grown-up hear you saying it. When I see the stickers, half a century drops away and feel guilty just seeing the word. (And I've worked in a dock-yard for over 30 years since then!)

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 10:54 PM

We should probably also discuss whether the following words are politically correct:

pissant

dipstick (the pejorative form)

dumbass

prat

grease monkey

blatherskite

diddlemacher

pinhead

wonk

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Stringsinger
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 01:36 PM

Shweik,

Wanker is quaint and from the other side of the Pond. Actually it could be liberally applied to almost anyone in politics, religion or popular music.

I have been called by this epithet by someone who didn't have a legitimate rebuttal to
a discussion on Iraq.

It intimates a lack of regard for others, hence, the idea of autoeroticism at the expense of sharing intimacy.

As a participant in Shweikian endeavors in the military farce, you are undoubtably aware of its practice among frustrated warriors.

At least unless abnormally abused, a wanker will not produce a canker.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Emma B
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 01:46 PM

Not certain about a grapefruit but there's always the fictional Turkish proverb,
"A woman for duty / A boy for pleasure / But a melon for ecstasy."

Some UK catters may well remember dancing to the Melons for Ecstasy ceilidh band - I remember trying to explain the name to my secretary at the time :)

I've heard some stranger stories from medical friends in Emergency rooms however :)

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: The Sandman
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 01:53 PM

Stringsinger,very good,you made me laugh.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 04:35 PM

The expression "jerk-off" is much, much younger than the word "jerk" meaning a foolish or stupid person. Recall that a soda fountain attendant was also called a jerk (a soda jerk), a useage not found much today. And there are a lot of other meanings to jerk, including a treatment of pork or beef. Some of these go back a century or more, I would guess; but "jerk off " is probably 20th century.


A

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 04:38 PM

jerk (n.) Look up jerk at Dictionary.com
    1935, "tedious and ineffectual person," Amer.Eng. carnival slang, perhaps from jerkwater town (1878), where a steam locomotive crew had to take on boiler water from a trough or a creek because there was no water tank. This led 1890s to an adj. use of jerk as "inferior, insignificant." Probably also infl. by verb jerk off, slang for "perform male masturbation" (first recorded 1916). Jerk off (n.) as an emphatic form of jerk (n.) first attested 1968.
jerk (v.) Look up jerk at Dictionary.com
    1550, "to lash, strike as with a whip," of uncertain origin, perhaps echoic. Noun sense of "sudden sharp pull or twist" first recorded 1575. Meaning "involuntary spasmodic movement of limbs or features" first recorded 1805. As the name of a popular dance, it is attested from 1966. Sense in soda jerk attested from 1883, from the pulling motion required to work the taps.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 17 Aug 09 - 05:09 AM

I've heard some stranger stories from medical friends in Emergency rooms however :)

Do tell!

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 17 Aug 09 - 07:24 PM

I've heard of a peeled potato having to be removed from the darkest depths of a clergyman's rectum, which somehow, in itself, doesn't greatly surprise me, but the excuse he gave the nurses was wonderful. He claimed he was standing naked on the sink replacing the curtains in his kitchen, and slipped, sitting down very hard on the offending vegetable which just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Ever since I heard that, I've steadfastly avoided changing my curtains naked.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Aug 09 - 11:38 PM

Smart move. Naked curtain changing can be very hazardous and the results can be embarrassing. My cousin, for instance, got a live guinea pig, a bottle of Tia Maria, a stapler, 3 back issues of "Good Housekeeping", and six navel oranges stuck up his rectum in exactly the same fashion, and you can imagine how embarrassing that was when he went to the emergency!

So DON'T hang curtains in the nude if you wish to avoid this sort of thing. People just don't understand.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Peace
Date: 17 Aug 09 - 11:43 PM

You have all heard about the ape that encountered a similar problem?

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 18 Aug 09 - 12:06 AM

Ugh - I hate Tia Maria, but it's probably preferable to actually drinking the stuff.