BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: 53
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 12:47 PM

I haven't gotton one yet.

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 02:10 PM

not wanting to be left out, I've been getting one of these a month for about six months, but didn't get one in October I was begining to think that they had found out just how little I actually have in the bank



FROM LOUIS HERVE JUBAN

DEAR FRIEND,

MY GREETINGS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND I HOPE THIS LETTER MEETS YOU IN GOOD HEALTH. I A LOUIS HERVE JUBAN, AIDE TO THE LATE PRESIDENT MOBUTU SESE-SEKO OF ZAIRE NOW KNOWN AS DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF CONGO(DRC). I AM WRITING TO YOU IN GOOD FAITH BASED ON YOUR PROFILE I RECEIVED FROM THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE IN SOUTH AFRICA. I AM MOVED TO WRITE YOU THIS LETTER IN CONFIDENCE CONSIDERING MY PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCE AND SITUATION AS A WAR REFUGEE HERE IN SOUTH
AFRICA. FEW WEEKS BEFORE THE LATE PRESIDENT MOBUTU SESE-SEKO WAS FORCED OUT OF POWER, I WAS INSTRUCTED BY HIM TO MAKE AVAILABLE THE SUM OF US$22MILLION WHICH WAS TO BE TRANSFERRED ABROAD AND LODGED WITH A SECURITY COMPANY FOR SAFEKEEPING DISCLOSED AS FAMILY VALUABLES IN MY NAME PENDING FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS. TWO WEEKS LATER ON MAY 16 1997,PRESIDENT MOBUTU SESE-SEKO GAVE UP POWER TO THE REBELS LED BY LAURENT KABILA, WHO WERE ADVANCING FROM KISINGANI AND FLED TO TOGO FROM WHERE HE LATER MOVED TO MOROCCO WHERE HE DIED ON SEPTEMBER 7,1997 LESS THAN FOUR MONTHS AFTER HE WAS FORCED OUT OF POWER. HE WAS AGED 66 YEARS.

I MANAGED TO ESCAPE TO SOUTH AFRICA WITH MY SON PATRICE, AGED 17 WHERE I AM PRESENTLY RESIDING AS A WAR REFUGEE SHORTLY AFTER THE CAPITAL CITY KINSHASHA WAS OVER RUN OVER BY REBELS. I LOST MY WIFE AND MY TWO CHILDREN, AND ALL MY POSSESSIONS DURING THE REBEL ON SLAUGHT ON THE CAPITAL CITY. THE LATE MOBUTU SESE-SEKO DURING HIS 30 YEAR RULE AMASSED A PERSONAL FORTUNE OF US$8 BILLION WITH HOUSES IN SWITZERLAND AND FRANCE. HOWEVER, THE INCUMBENT PRESIDENT LAURENT KABILA MADE ARRANGEMENTS WITH THE SWISS GOVERNMENT AND OTHER EUROPEAN COUNTRIES TO FREEZE ALL HIS ASSETS AND
CONFISCATE HIS PROPERTIES. I THUS DECIDED TO LIE LOW IN SOUTH AFRICA TO STUDY THE SITUATION, UNTIL WHEN
THINGS GET BETTER LIKE NOW THAT PRESIDENT LAURENT KABILA IS DEAD AND HIS SON JOSEPH KABILA HAS TAKEN OVER.

I HAVE BEEN IN TOUCH WITH THE SECURITY COMPANY ABROAD WHERE THE MONEY IS STILL LODGED AS FAMILY VALUABLES. THE FUNDS ARE SECURITY CODED TO PREVENT THEM FROM KNOWING THE CONTENT. WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO IS TO INDICATE YOUR INTEREST THAT YOU WILL ASSIST ME BY RECEIVING THE MONEY ON MY
BEHALF. ACKNOWLEDGE THIS MESSAGE SO THAT I CAN GIVE YOU THE MODALITIES FOR THE CLAIM OF THE FUNDS. MAY I AT THIS POINT EMPHASIZE THE HIGH LEVEL OF CONFIDENTIALITY WHICH THIS BUSINESS DEMANDS, AND HOPE YOU WILL NOT BETRAY THE TRUST
AND CONFIDENCE WHCH I HAVE REPOSED IN YOU. IF YOU WANT TO ASSIST, I SHALL PUT YOU IN THE PICTURE OF THE BUSINESS, TELL YOU WHERE THE FUNDS ARE CURRENTLY BEING MAINTAINED AND ALSO DISCUSS OTHER MODALITIES INCLUDING REMUNERATION FOR YOUR SERVICES.

I AM WILLING TO GIVE YOU A REASONABLE PERCENTAGE OF THE MONEY AS SOON AS THE TRANSACTION IS CONCLUDED. FOR THIS REASON, KINDLY FURNISH ME YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION, WHICH IS YOUR PERSONAL TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS FOR CONFIDENTIAL PURPOSE AND ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT OF THIS MAIL USING THIS EMAIL ADDRESS [e-mail]

YOUR IMMEDIATE RESPONSE WILL BE HIGHLY APPRECIATED.

THANK YOU.

YOURS SINCERELY,

LOUIS HERVE JUBAN.

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: cyder_drinker
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 03:46 PM

My first ever one today!

ATTN: SIR.

I PRESUME THIS EMAIL WILL NOT BE A SURPRISE TO YOU.

I AM AN ENGINEER WITH THE MINISTRY OF MINERAL
RESOURCES AND ENERGY IN SOUTH AFRICA AND ALSO A MEMBER
OF CONTRACTS AWARDING COMMITTEE OF THIS MINISTRY UNDER
SOUTH AFRICA GOVERNMENT.

MANY YEARS AGO, SOUTH AFRICA GOVERNMENT ASKED THIS
COMMITTEE TO AWARDS CONTRACTS TO FOREIGN FIRMS, IN WHICH,
I AND TWO OF MY PARTNERS ARE THE LEADER OF THIS
COMMITTEE, WITH OUR GOOD POSITION IN THIS COMMITTEE, WE   
OVER INVOICED THIS CONTRACTS TO THE TUNE OF US$21,500,000:00,
TO BE BENEFITED BY ME AND TWO OF MY PARTNERS THAT ARE INCHARGE
OF THIS CONTRACTS AWARDING COMMITTEE OF THIS MINISTRY.

NOW, THAT THE CONTRACTS VALUE HAS BEEN PAID OFF TO THE
ACTUAL CONTRACTORS THAT EXECUTED THIS JOBS, ALL WE
WANT IS A TRUSTED FOREIGN PARTNER LIKE YOU THAT WE
SHALL FRONT TO MAKE THIS OVER INVOICE SUM.

UPON OUR AGREEMEENT TO CARRY ON THIS TRANSACTION WITH
YOU, THE SAID FUND WILL BE SHARE AS FOLLOWS.
75% WILL BE FOR US IN SOUTH AFRICA. 20% FOR
USING YOUR ACCOUNT, 5% WILL BE SET ASIDE FOR THE UP FRONT EXPENCES THAT
WILL BE ENCOUNTER BY YOU AND US TO PROCESS ALL NECESSARY
DOCUMENTS AND FORMARLITIES THAT WILL JUSTIFY YOU AS
THE RIGHTFUL OWNER OF THIS FUND.

YOU SHOULD BEAR IN MIND THAT YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO PUT
HEADS WITH US TO GIVE THIS TRANSACTION MORAL AND FINANCIAL SUPPORT
IT REQUIRED TO BE SUCCESSFUL.

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED AND FINANCIALLY CAPABLE TO HANDLE THIS
TRANSACTION, KINDLY REPLY US THROUGH THIS EMAIL ADDRESS. ([e-mail])
FOR MORE DETAILS AND WHAT IS REQUIRED OF YOU IN THIS TRANSACTION.

ALSO WE REQUEST FOR YOUR PRIVATE AND OFFICE PHONE NUMBERS TO OPEN
COMMUNICATION WITH YOU.

YOURS FAITHFULLY.

LOPEZ GARVIN.

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 08:26 PM

Well, this was sent on to me:


URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL:

DearSir/Madam:

I am George W. Bush, son of the former Head of State of the United
States of America, George H. W. Bush who was deposed under mysterious
circumstances in November, 1992. After my father was deposed, myself
and members of my family including my brothers have been put through
hell with interrogations, on account of mismanagement of the
destruction of Iraq by my father. The aftermath of these interrogation
has led to the continuous effort of the American people with
co-operation from the United Nations and others to freeze, and
confiscate war powers belonging to my father which were deposited with
the United States Congress.

Fortunately, just after the defeat of my father, his advisers in
anticipation of the current situation made arrangements to secretly
move the idea of bombimg Baghdad to safe-keeping in a security vault
at the Republican Party National Bank. This idea has been in the vault
since then and we feel that it is now necessary to put it into action
for fear of discovery that it is based on total fraud. We are
therefore seeking a business partner capable of accommodating such
huge amounts of death and destruction and who is able to manage or
nominate trustees to manage this war in the interim as we watch the
political situation unfold. Your main responsibility would be to
assist in sending your young men to fight and die. For obvious reasons
we must insist that all arrangements are made in your name. For your
assistance and confidentiality in these matters we would be willing to
offer to you, upon negotiations, an agreeable percentage of the oil
profits accruing from the investment.

I am absolutely positive that this arrangement will be of mutual
benefit to both of us and I think that it is of utmost importance that
you reach me through my personal email address stating your telephone
and fax numbers and I would give you a telephone call to discuss the
matter further and if we reach an acceptable arrangement, then we can
proceed further. Finally, I crave your indulgence to treat this letter
with utmost seriousness and I trust that this will be the beginning of
a long lasting business relationship.

Best Regards, ....

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Nov 02 - 01:26 AM

From the (Seattle PI). If you want to follow through when you get one of these scam letters, here's how:

Q: My company received a (Nigerian scam) letter. We recognized it for what it was. What should I do with the letter?

A: I recently wrote about an illegal scheme in which con artists, often living in Nigeria, try to get people to agree to transfer millions of dollars into their bank accounts in exchange for a promised percentage of the money.

The problem is, there aren't any millions to be transferred. The intent of this scam is to get people to pony up their own money for bogus upfront fees.

The U.S. Secret Service says to forward e-mails that appear to be "419" cons (named after the section of the Nigerian penal code that addresses fraud schemes) to [e-mail]. The Secret Service is building a database of the different versions of this scam. It also shares the information with other law enforcement agencies.

If you have received a 419 con letter via regular mail or fax, but have not lost any money, you can fax a copy of the pitch to 202-406-5031. If you have been victimized by one of these schemes, you should forward any written documentation to the Secret Service, Financial Crimes Division, 950 H St. N.W., Washington, D.C. 20223, or call 202-406-5850.

A word to the wise: Don't do what I did. I was intrigued by what would happen if I responded to one of these e-mails. I had no intention of participating in the dishonest deal, but as a reporter I was curious. An onslaught of e-mails came back directing me to call someone in Nigeria and forward my bank account number and personal information. I could just kick myself. Months later, I'm still paying for my curiosity. Now I receive triple the number of e-mails from these crooks.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 11 Nov 02 - 06:21 AM

Is "Cardiac Arrest" a method of apprehension used by the the police or security sevices in Nigeria ?

ie "You are now under Cardiac Arrest" - followed by a bullet through the heart !

Subject: BS: NIgeria? Czechoslovakia?
From: Nemesis
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 04:03 AM

And WHAT is this all about? Turned up in my club's email today ...

weird or what?
-------------------
14th November, 2002


Dear Madam, Sir
I would like to ask you for any information about
Mrs. Marie Weinrebova; passport: Czech Republic, pass. No. 1601476, date of issue 1995, date of birth 16.5.1954.

If the person of this name has been accommodated in your hotel or B&B after 8th November, 2002, it is necessary to inform the Metropolitan Police London, contact:
Peter Turner
email: [e-mail]
tel.: [phone]

There is a need to give the very important message to her.
We will be very obliged to you for your help.

Yours Sincerely
Dr. Michal Weinreb

email: [e-mail] ,   [e-mail]
tel.: [phone]

---

I moved this message here from another thread on the same topic.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: NIgeria? Czechoslovakia?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 02:31 PM

?? If you email Interpol, what would they say?

---

I moved this message here from another thread on the same topic.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: BS: Another Nigerian Scam
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 01:46 PM

Here's another glorious Nigerian scam I got today. Only $28 million this time...

HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL
FROM: Prince Tunde O Adisaraki
MOBILE:[phone]
TEL: [phone]
FAX:[phone]


Greetings,

This letter might surprise you because we have not met neither in person nor by correspondence. But I believe it is one day that you get to know somebody either in physical or through correspondence. I got your contact through some discreet inquiry from the chamber of commerce and industry, you and your organization were revealed as being quite astute in private entrepreneurship, one has no doubt in your ability to handle a financial business transaction.

However,I am the first son of his Royal Majesty, Iginawari Nweke Adisaraki III and the
traditional ruler of Eleme Province in the oil area of Rivers State of Nigeria. I am making this contact to you in respect of US 28,000,000.00 (Twenty eight million United States Dollars) which I inherited from my late father. This money was accumulated from royalties paid to my father as
compensation by the oil firms located in our area as a result of oil presence on our land which hamper agriculture which is our major source of livelihood. Unfortunately my father died from protracted diabetes. But before his he called my attention and informed me that he lodged some funds on a two boxes with a security firm with an open beneficiary status. The lodgment Security Code Number was also revealed to me, he then advised me to look for a reliable business partner abroad, who will assist me in investing the money in a lucrative business as a result of economic
instability in Nigeria.

So this is the main reason why I am contacting you for us to move this money from the security firm to any country of your choice for investment purposes. So I will like you to be the ultimate beneficiary, so that the funds can be moved in your name and particulars to any country of your choice where it will be claimed and invested. Hence my father have had intimated the security firm personnel that the beneficiary of the Box is his foreign partner whose particulars will be forwarded to the firm when due..

But I will guide you accordingly. As soon as the fund reaches, I will then come over to meet you in person, so that we can discuss physically on Investment entials.Based on this instance I and my family have unanimously decided to give you 20% of the total money and annual 5% of the after tax returns on investment for the first three years. Thereafter, the term shall be varied. 2% for charity homes and 3% for expenses, which may arise during the transaction, fax and phone bills inclusive. The balance of 70% you will invest and manage for my family. I hereby guarantee you that this is not government money, it is not drug money and it is not money from arms deal.
Though you have to maintain high degree of confidentiality on this matter.

I will give you all proof of deposit and existence of money once urged and fully satisfied with you capability and honesty. I hope this will be the beginning of a prosperous relationship between my family and your family. Nevertheless if you are for any reason not interest, kindly inform me immediately so that I will look for another contact.

I required also your private phone and fax numbers for easy communication.I am waiting for your quick response through my private phone or fax Number.

I am waiting for your quick response.

Yours faithfully,

Prince Tunde Olusola Adisaraki (For the Family)

Subject: RE: BS: Another Nigerian Scam
From: Nemesis
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 05:18 PM

Wow! :) I've only had boring old Accountant Generals in Ghana over the past couple of days offering a couple of mill .. we should keep all these really .. and then send them all back to each other :)

Subject: RE: BS: Another Nigerian Scam
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 05:22 PM

Are you sure that this is a scam? I sent them the information that they asked for yesterday. I can't wait to count my money and prove to everyone that this is legit. They sound so honest to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Another Nigerian Scam
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 06:06 PM

Go for it, GUEST! I simply refuse to respond any more to these offers, unless they start with a sum of $42 million or more, but if you're new to the concept, might as well just get your feet wet for a start.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Another Nigerian Scam
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 06:35 PM

Well, it's good to see that one or two Nigerians have tired of killing each other over whether or not it's a criminal offense to suggest that the Prophet Mohamed would know the difference between a good-looking woman and a sack of dried kideney beans and gone back to business-as-usual.

Subject: RE: BS: Another Nigerian Scam
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 09:50 PM

What would happen if you changed the names and circumstances to fit this side of the ocean ("My neighboring country since the recent election and its subsequent market downturn can no longer be trusted, therefore I need your help in securing the monies I have invested in its markets...") and sent it to them? Do you suppose you'd get some nibbles?

Subject: RE: BS: Another Nigerian Scam
From: Sorcha
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 11:01 PM

LOL, Ebbie. How do you guys get these things? I never do. I guess I should think one up my own self........and get rich, huh?

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 10:15 AM

Hey, Sorcha, you can pretend this one came to you! Act quickly! There's no time to waste! I'm betraying this man's confidence by sending it to you. --SRS

URGENT BUSINESS PROPOSAL
Dr. ben mmadu, {Manager}
mobile no:234-7759521

Email:    [e-mail]   

ATTN:Ulrich

First I must solicit your confidence in this
transaction, this is by virtue of its nature as being
utterly confidential and top secret. Though I know
that a transaction of this magnitude will make any one
apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you that
all will be well at the end of the day. We have
decided to contact you due to the urgency of this
transaction, as we have been reliably informed of your
discreetness and ability in transaction of this
nature.

Let me start by introducing myself properly to you. I
am Dr ben mmadu the manager with the Union Bank of
Nigeria Plc, Lagos. I came to know you in my Private
Search for a Reliable and Reputable Person ! to handle
this Confidential Transaction, which involves the
transfer of Huge sum of Money to a Foreign Account
requiring Maximum Confidence.

THE PROPOSITION:

A Foreigner an Australia, Late Engr. Steve Moore
(Snr.) an Oil Merchant with the Federal Government of
Nigeria, until his death months ago in Kenya Air Bus
(A310-301) Flight KQ431, Banked with us at Union Bank
of Nigeria Plc, Lagos and had a closing balance as at
the end of September, 2000 worth US$16,000,000.00
(SIXTEEN Million United State Dollars), the bank now
expects a next of kin as beneficiary. Valuable
efforts are being made by the Union Bank of Nigeria
to get in touch with any of the Moore's family or
relatives but to no success.

It is because of the perceived possibility of not
being able to locate any of Late Engr. Steve Moore
(Snr.)' s next kin (He had no wife or children that is
know to us). The Management under th! e influence of
our Chairman and Members of the Board of Directors,
that arrange has been made for the fund to be declared
"Unclaimed" and subsequently be donated to the trust
fund for arms and ammunition to further enhance the
course of War in Africa and the World in General.

In order to avert this negative development some of my
trusted colleagues and I now seek your permission to
have you stand as next of kin to Late Engr. Steve
Moore (Snr.) so that the fund US$16 Million will be
released and paid into your account as the
beneficiary's next of kin. All documents and proves
to enable you get his fund will be carefully worked
out. We have secure from the probate an order of
madamus to locate any of deceased beneficiaries, and
more so we are assuring you that this business is 100%
Risk Free involvement. Your share stays while the
rest be for myself and my colleagues for investment
purpose. ! According to agreement within both parties.

As soon as we receive an acknowledgement of receipt
of this message in acceptance of our mutual business
proposal, we would furnish you with the necessary
modalities and disbursement ratio to suite both
parties with out any conflict. While replying furnish
me with your private fax and phone numbers for easy
communication,Bank Name,Bank Account Number,Companies
Name and Address.
The sharing of the fund are thus: 30% for you the
account owner,60% for i and my trusted colleagues and
the remainning 10% for expenses for both parties.
If this proposal is acceptable by you, do not make
undue advantage of the trust we have bestowed in you.

Best regards,


Dr.BEN MMADU (Manager)

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Amos
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 10:42 AM

Wow!! An innovative plot twist!! I love it!


A

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: InOBU
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 11:00 AM

Gee, I wonder if I can get a job in Nigeria as a proof reader?
Cheers Larry

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: momnopp
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 01:30 PM

In my email this morning was this gem with the title, "Very Important Message" Perhaps it should say "You don't mind a little fraud just to earn some bucks, do you? Hell, it doesn't bother US any!!!!":

Dr. Johnson Owolabi
Branch Manager
Stallion Bank (NIG) Ltd.
Idumota Branch
Lagos Nigeria.



I am Mr. Johnson Owolabi The Branch Manager of Stallion
Bank Nigeria Limited,Idumota Branch,Lagos Nigeria. I have
an urgent and very confidential business proposition for
you. On December, 1997, a Canadian Oil
consultant/contractor with the Nigerian National Petroleum
Corporation, Mr. Barry Kelly made a numbered time (Fixed)
Deposit for twelve calendar months, valued at
US$11,500,000.00 (Eleven Million Five Hundred Thousand
United State Dollars) in my branch. Upon maturity, I sent
a routine notification to his forwarding address but got
no reply.

After a month, we sent a reminder and finally we
discovered from his contract employers, the Nigerian
National Petroleum Corporation that Mr. Barry Kelly died
from an automobile accident. On further investigation, I
found out that he died without making a WILL, and all
attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless. I
therefore made further investigation and discovered that
Mr. Barry Kelly did not declare any kin or relations in
all his official documents, including his Bank Deposit
paperwork in my Bank.

This sum of US$11,500,000.00 is still sitting in my Bank
and the interest is being rolled over with the principal
sum at the end of each year. No one has ever come forward
to claim it.

According to Nigerian Law, at the expiration of 5(five)
years, the money will revert to the ownership of the
Nigerian Government if nobody applies to claim the fund.
Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you to stand
in as the next of kin to Mr. Barry Kelly so that the
fruits of this old man's labour will not get into the
hands of some corrupt government officials. This is
simple, I will like you to provide immediately your full
names and address so that the Attorney will prepare the
necessary documents and affidavits which will put you in
place as the next of kin. We shall employ the services of
two Attorney for drafting and notarization of the WILL and
to obtain the necessary documents and letter of
probate/administration in your favour for the transfer. A
bank account in any part of the world which you will
provide will then facilitate the transfer of this money to
you as the beneficiary/next of kin. The money will be paid
into your account for us to share in the ratio of 65% for
me and 30% for you and 5% be used in settling taxation
and all local and foreign expenses. There is no risk at
all as all the paperwork for this transaction will be done
by the Attorney and my position as the Branch Manager
guarantees the successful execution of this transaction.

If you are interested, please reply immediately via the
private email address below. Upon your response, I shall
then provide you with more details and relevant documents
that will help you understand the
transaction.

Please observe utmost confidentiality, and be rest assured
that this transaction would be most profitable for both of
us because I shall require your assistance to invest my
share in your country. I can be reached through this email
address as well "[e-mail]".

I do urgently await your response or reach me through my
confidential and private phone [phone].

Best regards,

Dr. Johnson Owolabi
_________________________________________________________
Gagne une PS2 ! Envoie un SMS avec le code PS au 61166
(0,35€ Hors coût du SMS)

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 03:04 PM

I just sat in the staff lunchroom reading a menu from a local Chinese restaurant as I ate, and contemplated this "proofreading" vs. "translation" question Larry mentions. Clearly a non-English-as-their-first-language speaker might not know that the ingredients in a particular dish should read "shrimp and muscles" and not "shrimps and muscles," because one is considered singular or plural by itself, while the other isn't. However, I still understand what is in the dish. The clarity without the proper grammar is, I believe, intended to convey a sense of "other," in this case, an "authentic other" because they are cooks from China, not cooks from the U.S. putting together Chinese food.

Very clever, these folks who mangle English for a living in order to trick we gullible Americans (among others).

Stilly River Sage

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: CraigS
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 05:55 PM

Having had dealings with several Nigerian Government officials over the years, I can tell you for sure that they all squirrel their ill-gotten gains in the Western banks from the moment the word Procurement is uttered. If there's any money in Nigeria, it's in obsolete European currency or something not negociable, like roubles or kuna. I've heard of people getting deaded and physically damaged through these scams.
My dealings have been in exporting goods to Africa. It's not unusual for people exporting goods to Nigeria to disguise them by packing the cases out with old magazines, and sending full cases of magazines as a decoy - then declaring the full shipment as medicines - this is to discourage outright theft. The customs ignore it, presuming that the importer's scam is to pretend to import medicines, then supply counterfeit medicines. Sometimes the medicines actually get to the man who is paying for them, if there's enough magazines to cover them.
When it comes to paying money out for imported goods, those who have it tend to appear at the dockside agent's office with plastic carrier bags stuffed with miscellaneous foreign cash - they don't keep money in the bank, because the bankers are as bent as the politicians.

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 Dec 02 - 01:51 PM

I finally got my very own wealthy refugee. (These offers must be valid, don't you think, since they all have different names, circumstances and are from different areas?)

I heard from 'Peter Clement and sister' (I don't remember how they learned that I am a totally trustworthy human being) who are in dire straits in Sierra Leone.

But, Little Hawk, they only offer me 15% of $17 million- so now I'm in a dilemma. Little as it is, it is still more than I have in my own bank- and surely I must provide for my old age. What to do, what to do??

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 02 - 03:01 PM

Gee, Ebbie -- go for it!! Let us know how you fare!! :>)

A

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 Dec 02 - 04:16 PM

I'll share, Amos, I'll share.:)

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Amos
Date: 16 Dec 02 - 09:48 PM

And for those of you who believe in the snctity of cashier's checks:

Yes, there's a new twist in Nigeria's thriving Internet-based scam operations. This time, the scammers pose as potential buyers for big-ticket items, like cars, listed for sale online.

The buyer explains that a business associate in the United States will mail the seller a cashier's check for the amount of the item plus the cost to transport it overseas. The seller is asked to wire the transportation fees to the buyer once the check has cleared so the buyer can arrange for shipment.

But a week or so after the check clears and the money has been wired, victims are notified by their banks that the check was counterfeited.

The scam has become so widespread that victims formed their own online support group last month. The group now has close to a hundred members.
Scam victims admit they initially were skeptical when the deal was brokered, but after receiving and depositing a cashier's check that cleared, they assumed all was well.

The scam takes advantage of a little-known loophole in the U.S. banking system. Many people don't realize that when a bank says funds have cleared, it doesn't mean the check is good, according to Carol McKay, director of communications for the National Consumers League.

"Under federal law, depending on the type of checks deposited, banks must give consumers access to the money within one to five days. Longer holds can be placed on deposits over $5,000, but banks are reluctant to inconvenience their customers," McKay explained.

"Unfortunately, it can take weeks for fake checks to be detected in the banking system. And consumers are then left holding the bag for the money they've withdrawn. That's because it's the depositor, not the bank, who is responsible if a check turns out to be bad."

Jeff and Shawn Mosch were victims of the scam, and they figure their bank is just as much at fault as the con artist who ripped them off for $7,200. Shawn Mosch said she went to the bank with the cashier's check and told the teller, "I need to know when this is going to be a good, clear check -- when this is going to be actual money I can spend and it's never going to come back and bite me in the butt." She was told her butt would be out of harm's way in 24 hours.

Mosch said she waited an extra day just to make sure, and then wired the money to the buyer. Five days later, the bank informed Mosch the check was counterfeit and her checking account was now $5,000 overdrawn.
McKay said the scam isn't limited to Internet sellers. The Consumers League is starting to hear from people who have also received counterfeit checks in connection with work-at-home offers.

"Banks would serve their customers better by explaining that they can't immediately tell if the checks are good and that the depositors will be stuck if they're not," McKay said. "In general, it's probably a good idea to wait several weeks before drawing on checks from unfamiliar sources. "But the bottom line is this: No legitimate company will offer to pay you by arranging to send you a check and asking you to wire some of the money back. If that's the pitch, it's a scam."

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: GUEST,JennyO
Date: 16 Dec 02 - 10:33 PM

Just before coming to this thread I posted something to the thread about what I want for Christmas. Now I see all my prayers have been answered. Not only will I have plenty of money, but I am getting all the laughter I wanted. Thankyou Mr Ogimea Hoam and others.

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 17 Dec 02 - 01:31 AM

The positive side of this is that there are whole towns in Nigeria living on the proceeds of this scam.

Subject: National Criminal Intelligence Service
From: Nemesis
Date: 17 Dec 02 - 04:09 AM

has a dedicated address

[e-mail]

to which copies of emails including full headers can be sent .. never ever (they advise)
reply to any of them!

Altho' I have .. hopefully and helpfully putting several Africans in dire straits in contact with each other and they never replied back (?)

But as regards the lyricism of the letters .. I lived in Africa for 7 years and eventually got to understand the transliterations and phraseology in letters .. except for one which nobody (even old timers) could get:

"Dear Madam / Sir

I am standing on your face to write this letter ....."   what was all that about :)

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Callie
Date: 18 Dec 02 - 02:39 AM

Good to see that these worthy pleas for help know no international boundaries.

A friend actually overheard two guys in a Sydney pub discussing the fact that they had sent Prince ?#$%^&#@ from Nigeria $2,000 but hadn't heard anything for a few months. They were starting to get suspicious ....

Callie

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Dec 02 - 08:31 AM

A number of people write back to the 419 scammers with amusing results, see e.g.

Brad Christensen Exhibit

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Jeri
Date: 20 Dec 02 - 09:15 AM

Thank you GUEST - hilarious! I only had time to read the "Louisa Ejaculator Estrada" correspondance, but I'll probably go back and read more of them.

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Amos
Date: 20 Dec 02 - 10:28 AM

That Brad Christensen exhibit is the funniest thing I have seen all year!! Thanks!! ROTFLMAO!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 01 Feb 03 - 12:29 PM

While looking for something completely different at About.com yesterday, I ran across this. The analysis & attribution is at the end.

Linn

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

G.W. Bush: Urgent & Confidential Business Proposal

Netlore Archive
Description:  Email joke
Status:  Parody of well-known scam
Circulating since:  Jan 2003
Analysis:  See below         
Email example contributed by J. Kolas, 27 Jan 2003:

Subject: FW: IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED: HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL

URGENT ASSISTANCE - FROM USA

IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED : HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL

FROM: GEORGE WALKER BUSH
202.456.1414 / 202.456.1111
FAX: [phone]

Dear Sir / Madam,

I am GEORGE WALKER BUSH, son of the former president of the United States of America George Herbert Walker Bush, and currently serving as President of the United States of America. This letter might surprise you because we have not met neither in person nor by correspondence. I came to know of you in my search for a reliable and reputable person to handle a very confidential business transaction, which involves the transfer of a huge sum of money to an account requiring maximum confidence.

I am writing you in absolute confidence primarily to seek your assistance in acquiring oil funds that are presently trapped in the republic of iraq. My partners and I solicit your assistance in completing a transaction begun by my father, who has long been actively engaged in the extraction of petroleum in the United States of America, and bravely served his country as director of the United States Central Intelligence Agency.

In the decade of the nineteen-eighties, my father, then vice-president of the United States of America, sought to work with the good offices of the President of the Republic of Iraq to regain lost oil revenue sources in the neighboring islamic republic of Iran. This unsuccessful venture was soon followed by a falling-out with his Iraqi partner, who sought to acquire additional oil revenue sources in the neighboring emirate of Kuwait, a wholly-owned U.S.-British subsidiary.

My father re-secured the petroleum assets of Kuwait in 1991 at a cost of sixty-one billion u.s. dollars ($61,000,000,000). Out of that cost, thirty-six billion dollars ($36,000,000,000) were supplied by his partners in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia and other persian gulf monarchies, and sixteen billion dollars ($16,000,000,000) by German and Japanese partners. But my father's former Iraqi business partner remained in control of the republic of Iraq and its petroleum reserves.

My family is calling for your urgent assistance in funding the removal of the President of the Republic of Iraq and acquiring the petroleum assets of his country, as compensation for the costs of removing him from power. unfortunately, our partners from 1991 are not willing to shoulder the burden of this new venture, which in its upcoming phase may cost the sum of 100 billion to 200 billion dollars ($100,000,000,000 - $200,000,000,000), both in the initial acquisition and in long-term management.

Without the funds from our 1991 partners, we would not be able to acquire the oil revenue trapped within Iraq. That is why my family and our colleagues are urgently seeking your gracious assistance. Our distinguished colleagues in this business transaction include the sitting vice-president of the United States of America, Richard Cheney, who is an original partner in the Iraq venture and former head of the Halliburton oil company, and Condoleeza Rice, whose professional dedication to the venture was demonstrated in the naming of a Chevron oil tanker after her.

I would beseech you to transfer a sum equaling ten to twenty-five percent (10-25 %) of your yearly income to our account to aid in this important venture. The internal revenue service of the United States of America will function as our trusted intermediary. I propose that you make this transfer before the fifteenth (15th) of the month of April.

I know that a transaction of this magnitude would make anyone apprehensive and worried. But I am assuring you that all will be well at the end of the day. A bold step taken shall not be regretted, I assure you. Please do be informed that this business transaction is 100% legal. If you do not wish to co-operate in this transaction, please contact our intermediary representatives to further discuss the matter.

I pray that you understand our plight. My family and our colleagues will be forever grateful. Please reply in strict confidence to the contact numbers below.

Sincerely with warm regards,

George Walker Bush

Switchboard: 202.456.1414
Comments: 202.456.1111
Fax: [phone]
Email: [e-mail]


Comments:   This cynical, clever parody of the ubiquitous Nigerian scam letter began circulating on the Internet on or about January 22, 2003. As jokes go, it is emphatically not of the lighthearted variety, inviting as it does a comparison between President Bush's foreign policy on Iraq and an international con game designed to bilk gullible citizens out of their hard-earned cash.

The Register, a U.K. newspaper, attributes the spoof to Zoltan Grossman, a peace activist and professor of geography at the University of Wisconsin.

Last updated: 01/29/03

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: InOBU
Date: 01 Feb 03 - 12:41 PM

SAVE A LIFE FOUNDATION INC. HAVEN FOR ORPHANS & MOTHERLESS BABIES.
TEL/FAX: [phone].
TELEPHONE: [phone].
E-MAIL: [e-mail]

Dear Sir,

Greetings. May the peace of God be with you.

We are a charity organization for orphans and motherless babies. Our aim
for contacting you is to appeal for whatever way you can assist in saving a
life, morally, financially and materially in order to make these kids have
a place in this Globe. We have kids between the ages of 1 month to 10 years
numbering up to 63 and we need all the assistance we can get. We do not get
support from our Government and as an NGO (Non Governmental Organization)
the Federal Government of Nigeria has permitted us to seek for financial
and material assistance from companies and individuals both at home and
abroad.

Whatever area as in Food, Clothing, Medical and Money that you can assist,
will be highly appreciated. The burden is too heavy on us and we are
appealing sincerely for your humanly assistance to save a life. We believe
you will not turn a deaf ear to our appeal, as your contribution will
propagate the continuity of this good work to humanity.

The promise of God is heritage. He will replenish your effort as you donate
generously. No contribution is too small for the upliftment of the less
privilege in our mist. Please indicate assistance by e-mail, telephone or
fax to the above numbers.

God Bless you bountifully.

Best regards,

Mrs. Yemi Fajuyi
Founder/CEO.
DL (mobile): 234-802-3421-883




MRS MERCY.E.AKU
C/O HANSEL.O. MBAZI
CHAMBERS,
ABUJA.
Attn:Joe Hardy


REQUEST FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE

I am Mrs. Mercy C. Aku, widow of the late Mr. Ishaya
Mark Aku, the former sports minister of the Federal
Republic of Nigeria. My late husband was one of the
victims of the 4th May 2002 Nigerian EAS. Aircraft
BAC11 that crashed in Kano.

I am contacting you in confidence to help us in
collecting the two trunk boxes deposited by my
Husband in Europe the consignment contains
US$35,760,000.00 ( Thirty Five Million Seven hundred
and Sixty Thousand U. S. Dollars ) which was secretly
defaced and sealed in two big metal box for
securityreasons in your account.

This money was deposited in a security company in
Europe by my late husband when the Federal government
started monitoring his accounts in Nigeria and
overseas.I personally therefore appeal to you for your urgent
assistance to move this money into your country where I believe it
will be safe
since I cannot leave the country due to the restriction of movement
imposed on me and members of my family by the Nigerian Government.

Every arrangement has been made by my family lawyer
Barr. Hansel.O. Mbazi to meet with you face to
face for the completion of this transaction.
Presently I can not as the wife of Mr.Mark Aku go to
the security company in Europe to claim the funds
because of the restriction of movement inposed on me
and the members of my family.

My husband's lawyer has asked me to make contacts and
get a reliable person that can help us claim the
consignment while he will be working towards our
release from house arrest as my husband was accused of
moving out the funds that was meant for the official
sponsor of the Japan/Korea 2002 Worldcup.

It has been resolved that 20% will be the person's
share for nominating an account for this purpose and
any other assistance you will give in this regard, 5%
has been slated for the reimbursement of all local and
international expenses which may be incurred in the
transfer process .Finally, 75% will come to myself and
my children and a good part of this shall be directed
towards executing his WILL, which is to buy shares and
stocks in foreign Country to secure his children's
future.

To facilitate the conclusion of this transaction. if
accepted, do send to me promptly by email the
following:

1. Your full name and address,
2. Company's name and address,
3. Telephone and fax numbers and
4. Bank particulars.

Please note that I have been assured that the
transaction will be concluded within one (1) weeks
upon my receiving from you the above listed
information. The lawyer shall commence the process by
contacting the security company in Europe informing
them that you will be comming to pick up the
consignment or to work towards moving the consignment to overseas
where
the security company has its'office for easy collection.

This will happen as soon as I hear from you. May I at
this point, emphasise the high level of
confidentiality, which this business demands and hope
you will not betray the trust and confidence which I
repose in you.

However, you may need to give me sufficient assurance
that you will not sit on this fund when it is finally
remitted into your bank account.

As soon as I receive your response, I shall forward to
my husband's attorney Barr. Hansel.O. Mbazi the
information to enable him contact you for more
details. You will have to liase with him for a smooth
transfer of the funds.I shall forward to you his Fax & telephone
contacts when I receive your acceptance for security reasons.You can
as well contact me with my alternative email address:[e-mail]



Best Regards,

Mrs Mercy C. Aku.






                                                                            Ref:                                                                   MMP/PED/023/03
From the desk of: Dr. Bello Bature.
Tel: [phone]

I believe this will be a big surprise to you as we are both complete
strangers but permit me to introduce myself, I am Dr Bello Bature and I
work for the Ministry of Mines &Power in Nigeria, and by this letter, I am
representing and also acting on behalf of my two senior colleagues (The
Director General and the group General Manager) who have mandated that I
got in contact a trusted and reliable foreign based businessman/woman
concerning the business matter of mutual benefit toall.By thismandate
given to me,we are in dire need of foreign partners to
assist us in the transfer Investment of US$24,000,000.00(twenty four
million united statesdollars). The key issue is the transfer and the
subsequent Investment of the said sum. We are ready to go into anagreement
with you and also offer you a negotiable fee for puttingtogether an
Investmentportfolio. It does not matter whether or not you
own a company or you have invested fundsbefore. We shall guide you on what
to do. The basis will be that a major company won a contract
andsubcontracted it toyou. More often, big trading companies and firm of
unrelated field won contracts and subcontracts to more specialized firms
for execution.We shall follows strictly all the legal procedures entailed
the laws of our land and international laws in transferring the fund to
you. The sources of the fund are legitimate and authoritative. Please be
informed that Nigerian Government Monitory Policy, strategic positioned
Government officials are not allowed to operate or own bank account
overseas, hence,we are in need for a foreign partner to front for us.We
pray that you take the essence of this letter in strict confidence, as the
two offices involved would not like to be exposed on this. Kindly
firstnotify me onyou wiliness to assist us through this email address
Details will be made available to you as soon as you respond.You are to
contact me only on this email address specifically for more information
and you are to keep this business proposal very confidential for
securityreason.Thank you and God bless as we wait for your urgent response.

Yours faithfully,
Dr.Bello Bature.

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: InOBU
Date: 01 Feb 03 - 07:52 PM

Spreads to Tongo!
FROM: MR ROPHUS KOFFI.
AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING UNIT.
FOREIGN OPERATIONS DEPARTMENT.
BANQUE TOGOLAISE POUR LE COMMERCE ET L'INDUSTRIE,
LOME- TOGO. TEL:[phone].

Dear friend,
I am MR   RUPHUS KOFFI.the director in charge of auditing and accounting section of Banque Togolaise Pour Le Commerce Et L'Industrie Lome-Togo in West Africa with due respect and regard. I have decided to contact you on a business transaction that will be very beneficial to both of us at the end of the transaction .During our investigation and auditing in this bank, my department came across a very huge sum
of money belonging to a deceased person who died on 30th 0ctober
1999 in a plane crash and the fund has been dormant in his account
with this Bank without any claim of the fund in our custody either
from his family or relation before our discovery to this development.
Although personally, I keep this information secret within myself
and partners to enable the whole plans and idea be Profitable and
successful during the time of execution. The said amount was (U.S
$18M) EIGHTEEN MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS), As it may interest
you to know.Meanwhile all the whole arrangement
to put claim over this fund as the bonafide next of kin to the
deceased,get the required approval and transfer this money to a
foreign account has been put in place and directives and needed
information will be relayed to you as soon as you indicate your
interest and willingness to assist us and also benefit your self
to this great business opportunity. In fact I could have done this
deal alone but because of my position in this country as a civil
servant(A Banker),we are not allowed to operate a foreign account
and would eventually raise an eye brow on my side during the time
of transfer because I work in this bank. This is the actual reason
why it will require a second party or fellow who will forward claims
as the next of kin with affidavit of trust of oath to the Bank and
also present a foreign account where he will need the money to be
re-transferred into on his request as it may be after due verification
and clarification by the correspondent branch of the bank where the
whole money will be remitted from to your own designation bank
account. I will not fail to inform you that this transaction is
100% risk free. On smooth conclusion of this transaction, you will
be entitled to 30% of the total sum as gratification, while 10%
will be set aside to take care of expenses that may arise during
the time of transfer and also telephone bills, while 60% will be
for me and my partners. Please, you have been adviced to keep "top
secret" as we are still in service and intend to retire from service
after we conclude this deal with you. I will be monitoring the whole
situation here in this bank until you confirm the money in your
account. and ask us to come down to your country for subsequent
sharing of the fund according to percentages previously indicated
and further investment, either in your country or any country you
advice us to invest in. All other necessary vital information will
be sent to you when I hear from you.And in case you feel like calling me on phone for a vital oral discusion.Here is my private telephone number is [phone].I look forward to pick your call .

Yours   faithfully,

MR ROPHUS KOFFI.

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Mugwump
Date: 02 Feb 03 - 06:03 AM

I think you are all RACISTS poking fun at these poor Africans who are only trying to make a living!

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 03 - 10:10 AM

Charles -

If these letters had come from the Isle of Man, they'd be twce as funny!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 03 Feb 03 - 05:49 AM

But they wouldn't be able to claim they hadn't a leg to stand on!

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 03 Feb 03 - 09:41 AM

Maybe I should have put the George Bush parody in a separate thread.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: InOBU
Date: 03 Feb 03 - 04:25 PM

Actually Mr. Atlas is assuming WE believe they come from Nigeria. The author SAYS they come from Nigeria... I believe they DO come from the Isle of Man... Larry

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Feb 03 - 05:38 PM

Bat Goddess, it was weird the way it got buried so fast. It's above the 4 that Larry pasted, or Click here if you missed it.

I read it and thought it was hilarious!

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: mouldy
Date: 04 Feb 03 - 03:01 AM

Jeremy Vine on Radio 2 mailed back to one of these on air yesterday, saying he'd set up a bank account ready to receive the money (to be shared among the listening public) and told them to get back to him with further details. I wonder if he heard anything...

Andrea

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: InOBU
Date: 04 Feb 03 - 08:31 AM

In a collection, these do become folk art, don't they? Larry

Subj: BUSINESS PROPOSAL
Date: 2/3/03 9:26:48 PM Eastern Standard Time
From:    [e-mail] (dudu ddd)
To:    [e-mail]



Dear Sir
I know this will reach you as a surprise, but need not
to worry as we are using the only secured and
confidential medium available to seek for foreign
assistance/partnership in a business transaction which
is of mutual benefit.A foreign, late Engineer Johnson
Creek, an oil merchant/contractor with the federal
Government of Nigeria, until his death three years ago
in a ghastly air crash, banked with us here at Union
Bank plc., Lagos and had a closing balance of
$USD18.5M (Eighteen Million, Five Hundred Thousand
United States Dollars) which the bank now
unquestionable expects to be claimed by any of his
available foreign next of kin or alternative be
donated to a trust fund of the WEST AFRICAN
PEACEKEEPING FORCE (ECOMOG).Fervent valuable efforts
are being made by the union Bank to get in touch with
any of the creek family or relatives but all have
proved abortive. It is because of the perceived
possibility of not going to be able to locate any of
late Engr. Johnson Creek & #8217;s next of kin (as he
had no known wife and children) that the management
under the influence of our chairman board of
directors, retired Major General Kalu Uke Kalu, that
an arrangement for the fund to be declared
"UNCLIMABLE" and then be subsequently donated to the
trust fund for arms and ammunition which will further
enhance the course of war in the West African
sub-region and the world in general.In order to avert
this negative development, myself and some of my
trusted colleagues in the bank now seek for your
permission to have you stand as late Engr. Johnson
Creek & #8217;s next of kin so that the fund, $18.5M
would be subsequently transferred and paid into your
bank account as the beneficiary next of kin. All
documents and proves to enable you get this fund have
been carefully worked out and we are assuring you a
100 percent risk free involvement. Your share would be
30 per cent of the total amount 10 percent has been
set aside for expenses while the rest would be for
myself and my colleagues for investment purposes in
your country. Though we are trying to make a better
future for ourselves and our families, considering the
poor standard of living in Africa, we also want you to
see this proposal as our own contribution in putting
an end to the senseless wars in the West African
sub-region.If this proposal is OK. by you and you do
wish to take advantage of the trust we hope to bestow
on you and your company, kindly get to me immediately
via my email furnishing me with your most confidential
telephone number, fax number and exclusive e-mail
number so that I can forward to you the relevant
details of this transaction.Thank you in advance for
your anticipated co-operation.Regards,Mr.Razaq
obaroUnion Bank plcN:B Please, for confidential
reason, I would like you to send me email reply to
razaq obaro only.

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: beadie
Date: 04 Feb 03 - 09:37 AM

I just got one from "a fugitive former high-ranking official in the government of Zimbabwean dictator Mugabe."

This guy claims to have escaped with $45 million (US) in $100 bills in one suitcase. Somehow, the money went to South Africa while he went to Botswana. He says he is unable to travel due to not having remembered to bring his passport. He wants you to fly to S.A., retrieve the money, put in in your account, and then, when he comes to meet you in Pretoria (? without his passport?), to give him 75% of the proceeds, keeping the remainder for yourself.

The only thing I'm confused about is who benefits from the scam (other than the travel and hospitality industries)?

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 11:22 AM

The Swiss are getting into it!!!!

Tony Williams
10-rue blavignac,
Carouge, Geneva,
Ch-1227, Switzerland
Email: [e-mail]

I want to move abroad Thirty Million, Eight Hundred Thousand United
States Dollars from Deka (Swiss) privatbank Ag, Postfach, Zurich,
Switzerland. I want to ask you to quietly look for a reliable and
honest person who will be capable and fit to provide either an existing
bank account or to set up a new bank account immediately to receive
this money, even an empty account can serve to receive this money,
as long as you will remain honest to me till the end of this important
business transaction. I want to believe that you will never let
me down either now or in future.

I am Tony Williams, the Auditor General, Deka (Swiss) Privatbank
Ag, Postfach, Zurich, Switzerland. During the course of our auditing
last month, I discovered a floating fund in an account opened in
the bank in 1995 and since 1999 nobody has operated on this account
again. After going through some old files in the records, I discovered
that the owner of the account died without a [heir], hence the money
has been floating and if I do not remit this money out urgently
it will be forfeited for nothing. The owner of this account was
Mr. Michael Collins, a foreigner, and an industrialist, he died
since 1995 and no other person knows about this account or anything
concerning it. The account has no beneficiary and my investigation
proved to me as well that Mr. Michael Collins until his death was
the managing director, Diamond Safari [Pty] SA.

We will start the first transfer with Fifteen Million, Four Hundred
Thousand Dollars; upon successful transfer without any disappointment
from your side, we shall re-apply for the transfer of the remaining
half into your account bringing the sum total to Thirty Million,
Eight Hundred Thousand Dollars. I am contacting you because you
are outside Switzerland and this money can only be approved to a
foreigner with a valid international passport, drivers license and
foreign account because the money is in us dollars and the former
owner of the account Mr. Michael Collins is a foreigner. I will
like us to meet to sign a binding agreement that will bind us together
in the business, I am revealing all this to you with the belief
that you will never let me down in this business, you are the first
person I am contacting for the business so please reply urgently.

You should forward your telephone and fax numbers and your bank
account details that will be used in transferring the money. You
must assure me that after the transfer, you will keep the entire
funds intact pending our physical arrival in your country for sharing
and disbursement of the fund which will be 35% for your assistance,
60% will be for us while 5% will be set aside to take care of all
the expenses that must be made by both parties during the course of the transfer.

I look forward to your earliest response through my e-mail above.

Best regards,
Tony Williams

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 12:59 PM

It's nice to hear that Tony has gotten into an honest line of work after that unfortunate business with the disappearance of the widow's and orphan's fund in Schenectady. I hope someone is able to help him out. Me, I don't deal in this sort of thing unless the amount exceeds $50 million, because I'm too busy these days for the small stuff.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 06:31 PM

There is a daily feature in the St. Paul Pioneer Press called Bulletin Board. It is much like the Mudcat Forum BS threads except that there is an editor, so only the best stuff gets published. Anything that is selected for publication is usually printed unchanged. The following appeared in today's column, submitted by someone who uses the handle Sleepless from St. Paul (in Minneapolis). I have only taken the liberty of converting it to mixed upper- and lower-case; the e-mail from "Mrs. Sese-Sekoh" was printed in all caps. It appears to be the same letter that Bat Goddess received back in October.

The news reports of large sums of cash being found around Baghdad reminded me of a bizarre e-mail my brother received last year in Big Lake, a town one would not normally associate with international intrigue:

From: Mrs. D. Sese-Sekoh

Dear friend,

I am Mrs. Debra Sese-Seko widow of late president Mobutu Sese-Seko of Zaire? Now known as Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC). I am moved to write you this letter, this was in confidence considering my present circumstance and situation.

I escaped along with my husband and two of our sons Kennedy and Basher out of Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) to Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire where my family and I settled, while we later moved to settled in Morroco where my husband later died of cancer disease. However due to this situation we decided to changed most of my husband's billions of dollars deposited in Swiss bank and other countries into other forms of money coded for safe purpose because the new head of state of (DR) Mr. Laurent Kabila has made arrangement with the Swiss government and other European countries to freeze all my late husband's treasures deposited in some European countries. Hence my children and I decided laying low in Africa to study the situation till when things gets better, like now that president Kabila is dead and the son taking over (Joseph Kabila). One of my late husband's chateaux in southern France was confiscated by the French government, and as such I had to change my identity so that my investment will not be traced and confiscated. I have deposited the sum of eihgteen mllion United State dollars (US$18,000,000,00.) with a security company, for safekeeping. The funds are security coded to prevent them from knowing the content. What I want you to do is to indicate your interest that you will assist us by receiving the money on our behalf. Acknowledge this message, so that I can introduce you to my son (Kennedy) who has the out modalities for the claim of the said funds. I want you to assist in investing this money, but I will not want my identity revealed. I will also want to buy properties and stock in multi-national companies and to engage in other safe and non-speculative investments. May I at this point emphasise the high level of confidentiality, which this business demands, and hope you will not betray the trust and confidence, which I repose in you. In conclusion, if you want to assist us, my son shall put you in the picture of the business, tell you where the funds are currently being maintained and also discuss other modalities including remuneration for your services.

For this reason kindly furnish us your contact information, that is your personal telephone and fax number for confidential purpose and acknowledge receipt of this mail

Best regards,

Mrs. D. Sese Seko

While our family has always had a soft spot for the plight of the families of deposed dictators, my brother is not really in a position to assist Kennedy with his out modalities, whatever they are. And, as his friend Dan H. observed: "I'd avoid having anything to do with someone named Basher!" It was also suggested that this could be a scam. Readers' insights are welcome.

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 06:44 AM

Isn't Tony Williams the tall fellow in the Spinners?

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: JennyO
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 09:28 AM

I just got this one:

Mr. John Uzaka
Harare - Zimbabwe
Email: [e-mail]
Date: 06/06/03



Dear friend,

This very confidential request should come as a surprise to you but because of the nature of what is happening to me and my family urged me to contact you,and I quite understand that this is not the best way to contact you because of the nature of my request and the attention it requires. I got your contact information from your country's information directory during my desperate search for someone who can assist me secretly and confidentially in relocating and managing some family fortunes.

My name is Mr. John Uzaka, the second son of Mr. Frank Uzaka in Zimbabwe. At the height of the present political crises in our country, in which the white farmers in our country are being murdered and ripped off their belongings by the supporters of our President, Mr. Robert G. Mugabe, in their efforts to reclaim all the white owned farms in our country, my father and my elder brother were brutally slanted to a painful death on the 13th of February, 2002, in their struggle to protect some white farmers who ran to take refuge in our house. My father, during his life on earth was a prominent business man who trades on diamond and gold from some foreign countries.

He publicly opposes the crude policies and crime against humanity on the white farmers by Mr. Robert Mugabe and his followers, which they enforced media law restrictions to protect their wicked acts. That not being enough, the President and his followers after winning the last undemocratic elections decided to block and confiscate all accounts and assert. During my fathers life on earth, he had deposited the sum of FIFTEEN. FIVE MILLION United States Dollars [$15.5 MILLON U.S DOLLARS], in a trunk box with a Trust and Security Company in Madrid- Spain for a cash and carry Diamond and Gold business with some foreign business customers. Due to the escalation of this problem, we decided to move this fund to the security company's overseas office in Spain.

In view of this and as the only surviving son of my father, and with the
present clamp down, killing and confiscation of his assets as one of those who render support to the white farmers in our country, I therefore humbly wish to inform you of my intentions to you to the security company's office in Europe where this money is currently deposited to avoid it being confiscated by president Mugabe. And also seek for your honest and trustworthy assistance to help me clear and accommodate this money over there because we are unable to move out of Africa due to the restriction of this Government. Also, I will try and move down to meet you after which you have claim this fund into your custody.

Now this is what I actually want you to do for me;

1. I want you to be presented to the Trust and Security company as the
person I contacted to assist my family for this purpose, with whose name and address myself will forward to them their office in Madrid- Spain as the person that will clear this money that is being deposited in Europe.

2. To finally assist me in accommodating and managing this money in any
lucrative business in your country for at least ten years. Please, I hope you will grant and view this very request with favour and much understanding of our situation now, and will be a very honest and reliable person to deal with. And also bearing in mind the confidential nature of this my request. I emphasize please that you keep every bit of it to yourself so as to protect my family future and the safety of this fund.

3. For your noble assistance of safeguarding the fund under your custody, I will offer you 20% of the total fund and 10% of every annual turnover from any business which you intend to invest the other 80% into for a consecutive period of ten years.

Thanking you in anticipation of your urgent response as soon as you read this request.

Best Regards,
Mr. Jonh Uzaka

Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Doug_Remley
Date: 11 Jun 03 - 12:26 AM

Sure is a lot of loose cash from Nigeria.