Review: Worst Song by a professional musician

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Charley Noble
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 08:36 AM

I wonder if someone has adapted "The Wolves of Willoughby Chase" to music?

Charleyt Noble

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Scrump
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 08:52 AM

I think as stated near the start of this thread, we can all think of crap songs by crap artists, but what might be more interesting is a list of crap songs by (otherwise) good artists. For example, the Beatles are widely regarded as the greatest pop group ever (or similar hyperbole) and they undoubtedly made some classic pop records - but they were also responsible for some garbage. How about Revolution No. 9, or Why Don't We Do It In The Road? Or Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except Me and My Monkey?

And Elvis churned out a fair amount of pop pap in his time, especially a lot of the stuff from his movies, which were just dashed off as album fillers.

And as ever, this is all subjective. One man's crap song is another's classic. And, to add to the confusion, some songs are so bad they're good!

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Ruston Hornsby
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 02:59 PM

What about "This Pullover" by Jess Conrad - complete with an accordion solo. It made it onto the Kenny Everett "World's 20 Worst Records" compilation BUT it originally came out on Decca - the label who turned down the Beatles. A Jess Conrad CD is now available "Jess for You" which is a re-ssue of his only(?) album plus all his singles. OK, yes, I couldn't resist it, and he is..er...pretty consistent throughout. Good fun, though.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Cruiser
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 03:25 PM

I never heard that song before and very glad that I somehow missed it while I was serving in the Army. Thanks, I think, Mooh for letting me learn of this great "classic" song.

Bily Don't Be A Hero YouTube Video

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Mooh
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 09:16 PM

Um, you're welcome, but I AM sorry if I've caused you any pain.

Peace, Mooh.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Jump 17
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 11:45 PM

"Keelaghan read a good book and wrote a LOUSY song, horrible lyrics, tortured to accomodate a simplistic rhyme and then ruining a goos song." I sense a little snarky elitism here.

Keelaghan's "Cold Missouri Waters" is essentially a hymn to those of us in the wildland fire community; it commemorates our brothers lost on a Montana hillside. Far from tortured lyrics, it sends a chill up my spine everytime I hear it - perhaps because I've spent time with those crosses in Mann Gulch, and the song is historically accurate for the most part. While it may not be the most musically complex song ever written (your standard key of D number), it does resonate with those of us who risk our lives in the wildland firefighting profession: whether jumping, rappelling, hotshotting, helitacking working on an engine, or groundpounding.      

My vote - concur with "Having My Baby."

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 02:04 AM

"Ballad of the Green Beret" is a good candidate.

I'm kind of partial to the destruction of all copies of "Thank God I'm a Country Boy"

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Mark H.
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 03:34 AM

"Every Breath You Take" by the execrable Sting. Dull, plodding, cliched chords, words that are puerile and unpleasant without any redeeming menace. Utter drivel.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: The Sandman
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 06:29 AM

return to sender,Elvis Presley,
Rock around the mulberry bush,BillHaley
Cliff Richard SummerHoliday

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Tunesmith
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 11:12 AM

"Return to Sender" shouldn't be included, as Elvis recorded many, many songs that were inferior to that song.
   Of course, this whole exercise is a subjective thing; for example, I bet some would say that "Wonderful Tonight" is the best song ever recorded by Eric Clapton, while many would say it's the worst!

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Peace
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 06:14 PM

Knock Three Times.

It would gag a maggot.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Peace
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 06:15 PM

Muskrat Love

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 06:22 PM

This thread has made me reconsider "Ballad of the Green Berets." Sgt. Sadler wasn't really a professional musician so I guess we'll have to excoriate him in a different thread.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,van lingle
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 05:59 AM

"Billy the Kid" by Billy Joel makes me cringe when I hear it over the grocery store P.A. Stinks so bad it'd knock a buzzard off a shit wagon. (Not to be confused with the great old ballad of the same name done by Woody, Ry Cooder and many others, I suppose.)

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: guitar
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 07:09 AM

Any song that is in the charts and rap 'music' it is shit

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: BanjoRay
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 08:06 AM

"Where Do You Go To My Lovely" by Peter Sarstedt has made me cringe for so many years. (shiver!!)
Ray

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Tunesmith
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 08:29 AM

Banjo Ray: Why does it make you cringe? Here's the story. Young girl, brought up in poverty in backstreets of post-war Naples, somehow manages to radically change her life so that she turns herself into very desirable, ultra-chic jet setting beauty who mixes with the rich and famous. The narrator of the song - who knew her back in Naples - tells us that, for all her veneer of sophistication, he still knows - or thinks he knows, that she is still haunted by memories of her deprived childhood. All this is conveyed with a good arrangement, nice melody , and is well sung.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 04:24 PM

There's a whole album of them called "Rogues Gallery"

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,squeezer
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 09:03 AM

The tune of "Where Do You Go To, My Lovely" is spoiled by the lyrics. Use it for Black Velvet Band instead.
Almost an improvement! :-)

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Tunesmith
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 01:11 PM

squeezer: What is about the lyrics that you don't like?

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: PoppaGator
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 02:03 PM

Well, I agree with many of the nominations and disagreee with a few others. I won't belabor the obvious (e.g., I don't like "Having My Baby," "Green Berets" or "MacArthur Park" any more than the rest of you), but here are a couple of thoughts:

What's so terrible about James Taylor's r&r covers? Of course, I'd rather listen to (for exaample) Marvin Gaye sing the original "How Sweet It Is (to be loved by you," but JT does a nice job covering it, and his rendition is probably closer to how I would deliver the song.

More to the point, the chords available for this song in a James Taylor Songbook are far superior to anything I could figure out for myself and to anything available on the internet. They are definitely identical, or very close, to the original Motown arrangement. So, I am glad James Taylor recorded the song because that was the ciritical first step of a process that resulted in my access to a good arrangement for a song I want to perform! (I won't necessarily be imitating JT's blue-eyed-sould vocals, not directly; but I do recognize that my interpretation of Marvin's work won't be perfect, and if I prove, despite my best effforts, to be no better than James Taylor ~ well, there's no shame in that.)

Also:

I'm finding that, as I age, I can now enjoy certain songs that were popular during my youth but that I didn't like at the time (or, at least, wouldn't admit to liking).

During the mid-1960s, I was very much a folk-music snob, and was starting to snobishly reject even some of the more pop/commercial areas of "folk" in favor of an exclusive embrace of hard-core blues, and maybe a bit of other non-blues stuff if old and authentic enough. Up through the later 60s, I came to really enjoy and champion, first, electric Chicago-style blues and, eventually, folk-rock and psychedelia as well as Memphis and Detroit soul (and, I suppose, Philly soul as well). But most of the unavoidable top-40 pop music that formed the inescapable aural "wallpaper" of my life in those years was stuff I flat-out rejected.

Nowadays, when I hear some of those records, whether on a "classic rock" radio station or in the soundtrack of a movie, etc., I really like them. Part of the appeal, certainly, is simple association with memories of my youth, but I often find that, having shed some of my prejudices, I can appreciate the singing, arrangements, musicianship, production, etc.

Examples: "I Fought the Law (and the law won)," "Secret Agent Man," "Build Me Up Buttercup." There must be other (and undoubtedly better exmaples, but that's all I can think of right now...

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Stringsinger
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 02:09 PM

No one has mentioned "Feelings". "Woh woh woh feelings" has an insipid cliched Frenchified tune and a lyric that doesn't mention any reason for having feelings about anything whatever. The feelings are not really identified or explained. I believe a song has to be about something that is recognizable. Some of the above songs mentioned I think are a matter of opinion rather than whether or not the song adds up to anything.

The "Fitzgerald" song by Lightfoot is about something in a story frame. I don't agree with anything about the "Green Beret" song but at least it is about something (I don't like).
Same with "Having My Baby" is at least a song with a pov although it's content is deplorable.
Many of the other songs I don't know. The one that Peace presented is pretty empty of lyric content. We don't know anything about the character in that song.

It's important to be objective about certain songs which have been overplayed and therefore we get sick of hearing them again. But this doesn't mean they're not good songs such as "Coward of the County". And it doesn't mean that we have to agree with their message either. Some like "Afternoon Delight" were fun for some audiences when it first came out (the idea of a "nooner") but it wasn't meant to stand the test of time. Much of the criticism is about preferences for the style of songs rather than about the actual writing of the song itself. Some pop songs are throwaway but maybe fun when they first come out. They may be clever but not to the liking of those who look for deep poetic, lyric, and musical content in a song. Sometimes a song can be clever, fun and disposable but written well in the context of its musical environment. I think to make a fair evaluation of a song not just based on prejudices but taking apart the lyric and the tune by identifying the sloppy construction is more profitable and interesting than just trashing it because for whatever reason we don't happen to like it.

Frank Hamilton

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Mr Fox
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 03:16 PM

Roots.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: PoppaGator
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 04:05 PM

"Feelings"!

Great nomination of a too-well-known song, very widely deplored.

There's a restaurant in New Orleans ~ actually, a very good one, in a lovely and very ancient building ~ named "Feelings." It first opened up when the song was still at the height of its popularity. Apparently, the founder(s) has musical tastes that didn't measure up to their culinary talents.

In recent years, they've begun calling it "Feelings Cafe" instead of just-the-one-word "Feelings," but none of the signs, ads, logo, etc., have changed.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,squeezer
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 10:51 PM

Quote
squeezer: What is about the lyrics that you don't like?

In hindsight, my comment was a little unfair. Not really that I don't like the story; just that the song seems rooted in the 1960s and conjures up to me the image of hippy folksingers in Afghan jackets, Paisley shirts, flairs and droopy moustaches. (OK, I was there too!)


My preference today is, by contrast, for songs that are rooted in the 1860s and conjure up the image of finger-in-the-ear folk singers in waistcoats, gaiters and full beards.

I do like the squeezebox solo though...and I still reckon the tune goes well to Black Velvet Band, yes it does, yes it does, hu hu hu....

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST
Date: 01 May 07 - 12:47 AM

It is of considerable interest to me to realize that less than 1% of all the songs mentioned in this thread as being "the worst" are actually folk songs.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,blindlemonsteve
Date: 01 May 07 - 03:38 PM

Just going over this thread again as its resurected itself, I know some people just want to talk about folk music to the exclusion of eveything else, but sometimes its nice just to relax with friends and shoot the breeze on light subjects, we dont know each other personally, so threads like this are a sort of way for us all to talk nonsense over a few pints down the pub. Nothing more than that really.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 01 May 07 - 11:54 PM

Definitely "Waltzing With Bears"

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Shimrod
Date: 02 May 07 - 03:45 AM

I don't know whether anyone has mentioned this yet (can't be bothered to read the whole thread), but I hate 'Imagine' by John Lennon - a dreary, dirgy, mawkish statement of the bleedin' obvious!

Also, does anyone remember 'The Man Who Called Himself Jesus' by Dave Cousins of the Strawbs (I think)? The line which goes, something like, "I thought my pint of beer had turned into a pint of blood" takes some beating for poor taste and over-dramatisation! I also found the declamatory, 'I-just-made-this-up-in-the-bath' tune intensely irritating as well.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,semi-pro musician
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 04:13 PM

What in the world is wrong with you people slamming songs that are considered classics? You've managed to insult half the songs I like and use in my repetoire? There is NOTHING wrong with most of them. You just don't appreciate good music.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Roughyed
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 04:55 PM

You don't need to read the whole thread Shimrod to see if someone has mentioned Imagine. Press Control and F on your keyboard, type in Imagine, click on next and you'll find that someone called Alex disagrees with you. I don't though. It's nice to find someone else who thinks it's a wishy washy piece of drivel.

And you're dead right about Cousins as well. A master of bathos at his worst.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,lefthanded guitar
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 06:56 PM

Where do you go to my lovely, I didn't know anyone but me and my friend's husband Jim knew that song. I didn't think it was that bad.

But from that era, or thereabout, my nomination for the very worst song in the universe bar none is;
Lucy in the Sky with Glasses.

When I was a freshman in college,living on the 16th floor of my dorm, some idiot played that song about 100 times a day.Day night afternoon, whatever, of all songs to play that was the one they picked- they were on the 14th floor. Finally someone on the 18th floor started yelling for them to turn it off and the proprietor of the record stuck her nasty head out the window and started yelling; wherupon the 18th floor gal then proceeded to empty a bucket of (used) soapy water out the window.

Never heard that d**n thing again all semester.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,lefthanded guitar
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 06:58 PM

PS
I think the actual title was Lucy in Disguise with glasses.

Youda think I'd remember the exact title after hearing it so much

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Don Firth
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 07:21 PM

Nothing against the song itself, but during the late 60s I was living in an apartment in Seattle's University District, and I had a next door neighbor who played electric guitar (which he insisted on cranking up to overload, a la Jimi Hendrix. After an interminable amount of time hearing him practice Jose Feliciano's hit record "Light My Fire," I had just about had it. The guy had absolutely no sense of rhythm. After hearing his arrhythmic attempts at "Come on, baby, light my fire" for what seemed like several hours a day for several weeks, I was right on the verge of buying an army surplus flame thrower and granting what seemed to be his fondest wish.

But suddenly everything went quiet over there. It may have been that his downstairs neighbor came up and pulled the plug. On his amplifier or on him personally, I don't know.

I didn't inquire.

Blessed, blessed peace!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: lefthanded guitar
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 05:08 PM

Love your use of the word 'arhythmic' to describe this guy - the Chinese water torture of this guy's incessant practicing meant that surely someone was hired to kill him. My word, even Jose never quite got the rhythm of the tune quite right.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,JB
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 06:42 PM

Surely we can`t omit "Little Arrows" by Leapey (Leepy) Lee or has it already been mentioned?

Oh the pain!

JB

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 06:54 PM

I hate to rain on any performer's parade. "Walk a mile in their shoes, etc...." That said, I had an upstairs neighbor who was learning to play electric bass. Rhythm was the least of his issues; he couldn't have followed a tune if threatened with death. And, of course, he screwed up with the knob at #9. By the way, "MacArthur Park" was performed by Richard Harris. If he was a professional musician, I'm a colorectal surgeon. Which, by the way, is the name of a really bad, but really funny song by a Canadian duo named Bowser and Blue.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Bardan
Date: 08 Jun 07 - 09:00 AM

Slightly off topic, but my dad tends to get obsessed with a particular album and play it over and over again until it drives everyone crazy. He fell asleep listening to Richard and Linda Thomson one night and found the record in bits in the quad the next morning. Someone had actually crept into his room and chucked it out the window.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Doug
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 02:27 AM

Just discovered this forum. My vote goes to Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy."

I love Bobby, but this song gives me chills. Eccccck!

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Long Firm Freddie
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 02:34 AM

Song Sung Blue (Neil Diamond) has me reaching for the sick bucket.

LFF

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Betsy
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 03:51 AM

Number Nine or Helter Skelter by the Beatles

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: TheSnail
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 07:14 AM

"Having My Baby" by Paul Anka.... oh my god, it´s pure torture...

Don't know it; is it even worse than "My Way"?

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Strad
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 07:20 AM

The absolutely hideous "Two Little Boys" which seems to get exhumed every Christmas has me rushing for the On/Off button.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,CN
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 07:33 AM

"Send in the Clowns" by anyone. I don't truly detest many things, but that has to be top of my list.

And what's wrong with "Two Little Boys" (ducks...)

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,MARUT
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 10:40 AM

"PLEASE COME TO BOSTON"

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: EuGene
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 10:50 AM

It has got to be "Moon Dance" by Van Morrison . . . sounds like some of that late night caterwauling out in the alley. All those horrible sounds from a fellow who in his earlier life actually did some real singing! Eu

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Chris B (Born Again Scouser)
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 10:53 AM

'Lucky Stars' by Dean Friedman. Go on. Beat That.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 10:59 AM

As a long-time, dedicated fan of Pete Seeger's, I regretfully have to nominate his song, Golden Thread.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 11:37 AM

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 11:39 AM

That's very interesting, TJ