Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar

Subject: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Big Mick
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 02:24 AM

Mudcat Tavern and Oyster and Seafood Bar. Now, that is more like it. Finn, get yer little behind over here and enjoy some sliders!!!! No, leave that feckin' drum by the door............and how come it has a dishrag sliding up and down the bar????..........What, THE FAIR ONE??.........hell yes I have an agenda in eating these oysters.........I will tell you about it later when I show you my etchings........OK, OK, Beebs, I will behave......as long as you are in earshot.......Charley, what the hell do you think this is, Lamaze class? Quit the friggin breathin' exercises and get over hear and enjoy this, it is on me.........Who the hell is that guy with the hurdy gurdy????? Doesn't he know that you have to tune the damn thing? RiB, if you ain't going to partake, could you please get up and do some country blues?? Thanks man..........gawd but I love sliders............

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: bbc
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 05:43 AM

Well,Mick,I'm glad you noticed I'm here, what w/ the Fair One in the room & all. Yes, behave yourself--but, first, give me one of those great hugs (Then, *I'll* behave myself!)!

love you,

bbc

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Roger the skiffler
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 06:41 AM

Well, oysters and Guinness are not my choice but if you've got some nice BBQ grilled kalamari and a drop of ouzo, it might help me get through to the weekend on this temporary PC, hope to get my permanent replacement (less all the files I lost on the hard drive of the other) next week when things may begin to be less fraught.
Perhaps I should check back in to the Neil Young Center.
I haven't checked the DT, but, Mick, you know what Lonnie D. used to sing: "Nobody loves like an Irishman".
I never could work out whether he meant "better" or just "different", do the oysters help? (My Irish grandfather had 8 children so he must have been doing something right.)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: alison
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 08:25 AM

Hi Hunky,

Nice place you've got here..... I just have one problem with it.. I don't eat oysters....... can you do me up some scampi (proper big scampi.. not the imitation they do at home).......

looks like I'm going to have to go to the next Getaway to protect you... I have had women lusting after you in the chat room.. and bbc is here looking for hugs...... I don't think you should eat any of those oysters... and more to the point... for your own safety - you shouldn't feed them to the women....... hahahaha

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Big Mick
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 09:11 AM

Rog, your Grandfather didn't eat enough oysters if he only had 8 kids. ............. And never fear, FAIR ONE, I was ever true to my cyber-love at the Getaway. But I must confess to being sorely tempted. We have some lovely women in the Mudcat, and despite your admonition, I did enjoy hugging them. (Explanation: FAIR ONE said I could hug women, but I wasn't allowed to enjoy it...LOL) I think I hugged Allan C, Bill D, and Joe Offer as well. Any ways, I got to get to the kitchen and get busy on some proper Scampi, and some Calamari. I love making seafood. Wait, seeing my FAIR ONE again has inspired me. Hang around everyone, Big Mick is going to cook a fancy Irish meal..........Shut up, smartass 'Spaw, there is to such a thing.......OK, here is the menu. We start off with Scallop and Vegetable Terrine with Potato-Mustard Dressing. Then we move to Smoked Salmon and Goat Cheese roulade with Champagne-Chive Dressing. Just a short break for some Watercress and Lime soup. Then its on to Cod Tournados in Chanterelle-Chervil Broth. Dessert will be Caramelized Bread Pudding with Custard Sauce. Set back and get ready to be fed, my friends, Mick is in the cooking mood........................

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: MMario
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 09:25 AM

*drool**slobber* oops! *wipes mouth*

Luckily the newest incarnation of the Tavern seems to have one of those "cooking in the round" style kitchens, so we can all watch Big Mick as he cooks, and he can continue to chat. And I want his recipe for watercress-lime soup.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Den
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 09:45 AM

Its good to be back. A pint of stout there bbc and no thanks Mick I dont care for the slimey slitherers. Anyway I've been away so what did I miss? I'll just pull up a stool here. Have to get the dogs leash underneath the leg. There we go. What do you mean no dogs allowed....health inspector?....good God man look what your eating. Hey Mick could you make me a Dublin coddle? No thats coddle 'spaw. Den

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Bert
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 10:15 AM

Mick, while you're in the kitchen there, make a nice big oyster loaf for those of us who don't like to eat tehm raw. Then me and The Skiffler will get up on the stage and sing "Nobody loves like an Irishman" for ya.

So LEJ slide a couple of pints of the vile black stuff along the bar to get us warmed up.

Bert.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Roger the skiffler
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 10:42 AM

Bert,you knoweth not what you sayeth: know you not my motto is "I've emptied bigger rooms than this!" Cyberspace is the only safe place for me to sing! I'll back you on cyberkazoo instead!
RtS

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Big Mick
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 11:56 AM

Allright, I will do my best.

MMario, your wish is my command. If you will notice, I have spread in front of me 3 chopped celery stalks, 1 leek (white part only) chopped, a chopped onion, 1/2 of diced peeled celery root, 2 lbs. of watercress stemmed, 2 talespoons of vegetable oil, 6 cups of stock (vegetable preferred but you can use vegetable broth), 1 cup of heavy whipping cream, juice of 4 limes, salt and fresh ground pepper, and Parmesan cheese.

Now lad, we will take a large pot, put it over medium heat and heat the oil and use it to saute the onion, celery, leek and celery root about 6 or 7 minutes. You are trying to make it tender but you don't want it browned. Next you will stir in the stock and simmer for about 30 minutes or so. Be sure to stir it from time to time. Then stir in the watercress, raise the heat and bring to a boil. Take it and put in a blender and puree it.

Next you will need a deep mixing bowl. Beat the cream until you get small peaks and then mix it and the lime juice into the soup. Gently stir it all until it is well blended. Season it with salt and pepper to taste. Ladle it into the bowls and sprinkle a little of the parmesan sprinkles on top. And here you go, folks. Now eat it up cause you should serve this immediately. This is about 6 servings.

Now Bert, how about I make you something with the oysters that is much better with the Guinness. I will make you up some grilled oysters. Leej, pass me a couple dozen of those Oysters on the half shell. Beebs, would you get me 4 tablespoons of butter from the frige? Ok, a couple of tablespoons of good old Worcestshire sauce, we already have the salt and pepper, FAIR ONE would you cut up some of the brown bread? Thanks........Gawd but that woman is a vision of loveliness.....Oh yeah, Bert, while I am cooking, why don't you cut up some lime wedges for garnish.............Ok here we go. I will just shuck these oysters.......what?........quit being a sissy 'Spaw, it is easy......here make yourself useful and take the deep half of the shells and arrange them on the broiler pan.........Good man, now let's put them in the shells........what?......good grief man, I know they are slimy, it's what makes them great......Good, the broiler is all preheated. Now we will turn the stove on to medium and melt the tablespoons of butter. Good, now we mix in the Worcestershire. 'Spaw, here, take this sauce I just made and ladle a teaspoon over each of the oysters. Good man, now we will lightly season with salt and peppers. Good, into the broiler we go...........When they start to curl at the edges...........Allright, here we go. Now take pieces of that brown bread, which has been touched by the lovely hands of THE FAIR ONE and butter it up. Eat the oysters with the bread and a proper of the vile black stuff and you will be as close to Heaven as you can be without dying...........

A little coddle, eh, Dan. Sure an it makes me think of Saturday night in the pub. OK, but you need to give me a hand. Would you mind running to the fridge and.......how many we got here?...about twelve......Ok, get me about 24 oz of that thick sliced bacon, 3 lbs of the bangers. I will start a pot of water boiling. Rog, could you give those grilled oysters a break a minute and go get me 4 1/2 lbs of spuds, a pound of onions. And yeah, I need you to peel and slice them.......yeah, that includes the onions.......good man. OK, here we go. lets put the bangers and bacon in this saucepan, cover 'em with the water I have boiling on the stove and let it come back to a boil. We will then let that simmer for about 5 minutes. Let's have a jar of Uncle Arthurs while we are waiting......Right, now we will pour off the liquid into a bowl and save it. We will use it in a bit. Rog, you got those spuds and the onions peeled and sliced yet? Well done. Beebs, grab a couple of casserole dishes and grease them for me, will'ya? Sure you can have a hug........I should be the one askin' cuz you give great hugs.....What FAIR ONE? Nope, I just want you where I can gaze upon your loveliness......huh?.......OK,OK, I promise not to enjoy the hugs ***fingers crossed behind my back*** Anyway, back to the coddle. Lets arrange the spuds, onions, bacon and bangers in the pan.....right, now let's pour the stock we saved and salt and pepper to taste. Now we cover the pans with wax paper and put lids on the pans. Good, now we will simmer on the stove for about for 45 minutes to an hour...........huh? Yeah, you could put in the oven for about hour at 350 or so........OOOOOOOOHHHHHH, love the smell........great choice Dan. Be patient, my friends, this is worth the wait.........

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: T in Oklahoma (Okiemockbird)
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 12:03 PM

Maybe this is the place to ask: why are steamed clams called "steamers" ? Wouldn't "steamees" make more sense ?

T.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Big Mick
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 12:07 PM

T., I love ya, man, but do you always ponder the imponderable, here, have some coddle. Anybody want me to do up some crubeens?

Mick

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: MMario
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 12:18 PM

*chomp**chew**swallow*

*blissful sigh*

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Den
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 12:26 PM

Oh that's grand Mick. Here guys try dipping some of this treacle bread in there. Another stout for me and one for the chef bbc. Den

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: T in Oklahoma (Okiemockbird)
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 12:36 PM

'spaw, thanks for letting me pull up a chair. Barkeep, I'll want a stout for lunch and an India pale ale for dessert. T.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: annamill
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 12:52 PM

I just gained 5 lbs. Mick!! Wow, that is going to be good. Now if I can have about 6 ersters (thats what we call them in Jersey)and a big glass of draft I will be in heaven. A gentle light draft, please. Hmmm... Did these come from N'orleens? Those are my favorites. Like butter, they are. Must be that silky Mississippi mud. Mick, do you have time to sing "the Roses" song for me or will it make us all cry. Never mind, might spoil the festivities. Sing something happy. BTW, Alison, I fell in love too. He's a great hugger. Don't worry though, I have my Honey.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 12:56 PM

Big Mick, Why were you trying to pick up Mr. Trout with a name like Big Mick? And where did you get those crayons? And I don't really understand this Tavern. Do you guys just hang out here to drinking & eating after work? Can I please order a glass of milk? Little Neo

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Big Mick
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 01:06 PM

Anna P, if you will send me your email address, I will send you a voizmail of the song to your email address. If you have speakers, you can then play it. My email address is [e-mail]

Mick

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: annamill
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 01:56 PM

That sounds wonderful, and I will right now. Thanks, Mick. Here is a BIGG hug. BTW, BillD says he found your potato in your coffee cup. It was such a fine one too. Oh well. I'm sure you'll find another ;-)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Dave Swan
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 02:00 PM

Damn, that boy can cook. Poetry in motion. He never gets those stiletto heels caught in the rubber mats in front of the sink and no matter how close he stands to the stove there's never a bead of sweat escaping the platinum wig. Pure class. Now for the vegetarians in the crowd Mick, can you shoot me some tofu with a little horseradish and some hot sauce on the half shell? Anybody can suck down an oyster, it takes a bravery to swallow raw soy product. QUICK.....GIMME A GUINNESS. E.S.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 02:05 PM

Big Mick, how come you didn't answer my questions? Maybe you can't see me. I'm under the bar stool. Can you ask the bartender for a glass of milk please, he doesn't see me either. Little Neo

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 02:22 PM

Let's see, an ice cold Dos Equis with a lime slice would complement the raw oysters nicely. And while I'm standing here in the kitchen, think I'll whip up some shrimp ceviche', use these medium prawns with some diced onion, pepper,ripe tomato,and cilantro.

I loved rolled oysters too, three of em wrapped in corn bread batter and deep fried. Ummmmm-boy.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Mían
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 02:37 PM

Here's some fresh flowers to dress up the joint. And lotsa ferns. Here's a big basket of clams for chowder and steamers, Mick. None of them pig's feet for me, tanks. And what better with sliders than SHOOTERS, I ask you, ladies and gentlemen. And a Black to follow it up, thank you. Yee haw

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: MMario
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 02:41 PM

LN - your milk is on the counter....it's in the cow shaped tankard with the paper parasol sticking out of the cows head and the straw out of it's..ahem....

What's this about Big Mick and a trout??

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Den
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 02:45 PM

Another SHHtout there bbc whoops sorry little neo didn't see you down there. Here's your milk...don't mind the dog he's pretty friendly...yeah he'll eat anything...loves children. By the way Mick who the heck is Dan. Den

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 02:54 PM

Thanks M Mario, I was getting kind of discouraged down here. Can I keep the tankard? Could you please ask Big Mick about the trout? He doesn't seem to see me here. Den, OH Den!! The dog is getting a bit too friendly DEN. I'm not sure what he's doing, Oh DEN!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: MMario
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 03:00 PM

I can't ask Mick about the trout right now, he's in the middle of a fish-cleaning and filleting demonstration....

Den - I think the dog needs to go out the back door for a minute. The second bush to the left is Cleigh's, but there should be one he can use.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 03:02 PM

MMario, I have a feeling this mut don't need no bush, he needs a mate.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 03:06 PM

Here, Little Neo, hop up on the bar! You'll be safe from that mongrel up here...oops! Careful! You almost sat in the ash tray!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Den
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 03:09 PM

Oh don't worry little neo he can't do you any harm. He's a bit like myself, not the man he used to be if you know what I mean. Hey neo maybe you would share some of your milk with him, he loves milk. I'll buy you another. Now Frankie put little neo down. I'm sure she ha sabsolutely nothing to do with the postal service. By the way if Kat comes in her up a drink on my tab. Den

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Den
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 03:14 PM

That should have read set Kat up with a drink on my tab. I gotta go, can someone look after Frankie till I get back. He's fine unless something spooks him oh and he takes a very dim view of people who don't like big hairy dogs. Den

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Big Mick
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 03:49 PM

Sorry Den, for the typo on your name. Chalk it up to fingers that have been chopping, slicing, dicing and shucking all day........love cooking for you all though......Wee woman, what in the divil's name are ye doing on the floor, lass? Come up here away from that mutt. The milk is on me. ..........What?.......Oh never mind that, it's just fish leavin's.......Huh?......Did you have a trout?.....hell, I don't know, I just found it and started cleaning it. Us paddy's do love our fresh fish.........And what crayons are you speakin' of, lass?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: lamarca
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 05:01 PM

Just dropped in for a quick draft before goin' home to cook dinner - and what are we having tonight? Why, OYSTER FRITTERS! I must have been hooked into the Tavern telepathically when I stopped at The Lobster Man's truck this morning...he had pints of shucked oysters on special. Friday's Fish Day in our household, and I'm not even Catholic anymore!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 05:23 PM

Hey, Mick, great cooking--although I notice everyone is staying away from the potato soup. We could sure use you out here in the Bay Area: the folks behind the grill at the Starry Plough seem to think that the epitome of Irish cuisine is pizza and hamburgers. The local restaurant and hotel workers could use a hand, too. And I'll bet the guys at the Piedmont Fire Department would be glad to see you--they're getting a bit tired of Swanno's rubber chicken and whomp biscuits.

--seed

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 05:24 PM

Mick the Giant, these crayons I see, all these lovely colours in the typing. Where can I get some crayons? Thanks for picking me up Lonesome. Little Neo

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: sophocleese
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 05:42 PM

Umm, Hi there. I thought I heard the word GUINNESS as I walked out one fall afternoon, so I followed it. Any going spare, I could sure use one? I need the vitamins to fight this *expletive deleted* cold. I wish I could smell the cooking it looks wonderful... Nice doggy, nice doggy, nice doggy... think you could plant your nose somewhere else for awhile. Thanks love.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: katlaughing
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 06:16 PM

Thank ye, Den, don't mind if I do. Nice ta see ya back wid us an all. LN, sometimes ya hafta really speak up in this joint, gets kinda noisy, ya ken?

El Swanno, thanks for the request for veggie food, but you can keep the slimey soy:-) How about a nice meatless, taco salad?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 06:44 PM

Mama Kat SageWalker, I didn't know you hung out in the bar? What time do I have to go to bed? Little Neo

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: DougR
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 07:37 PM

Big Mick! What a wonderful addition to the Tavern! Ummm. Delicious oysters. I've got my trusty WD40 in my hip pocket should any of you fair ladies (note I said fair ladies, Mick, not the fair one) are in need of one of my super dooper massages just line up! Meanwhile, bbc, how you been doing and would you pour me a wee vodka on the rocks with a small splash of water? Ah, thank thee!

DougR

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: katlaughing
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 08:02 PM

DougeR! Just the man, um....I mean HANDS I've been looking for. Got computeritis in my left shoulder & it is screaming with pain! Think you can do anything for it? Like shoot some WD40 right into the joint like they do cortisone?**BG**

LilNeo, you drink yer milk up, sweetie, and you can stay up as long as you like. It is the weekend, after all. Ummm...and aren't you getting to the age, where you might be elgible for a first sip of the vile black stuff? I canna stand it m'self, but I guess some of those like B. Mick are quite enamoured with it. Learn somethin' new about the old MamaKat everyday, eh?

Katwhohasseveralidentitiesgoingatonce;whattodowhattodo!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: bbc
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 10:39 PM

Ah, vodka on the rocks for Doug. You know I'd come out of hiding for you anyday! I'm ok, just making up for the time I missed away from home last weekend. Wish you could have joined us at the Getaway. Boy, would you have gotten good hugs & music there! Little Neo, let me know when you want a refill on your milk or if you want something stronger--maybe cocoa?

bbc

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: alison
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 10:45 PM

Now I know I look like I've been crying......... I've been chopping scallions... come one Mick.. you promised me a big plate of champ..... you can use these.... those grilled oysters sound nice while I'm waiting....

(Neo, he does the crayoning with html.. right click on one of his posts.... select view source and you'll see... looks complicated..)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Big Mick
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 10:53 PM

Well Little Neo, you will have to take HTML 101 from Father JoeBro, or OBI-WAN OFFER as I am fond of calling him..You can call him Joe. He will teach you the ins and outs of colors and all that. But watch your knuckles, he was in the seminary for 12 years.The multicolored "THE FAIR ONE" is how I refer to my cyber love, Alison, whom I pursue relentlessly across the cyber hills and dales. That is when DougR isn't trying to rub her with WD40, that sneaky sonofagun. If, purchance, you should get proficient at HTML, do not attempt to use "THE FAIR ONE" as it will constitute a violation of the rights of my member. I shall be forced to seek recompense through any means necessary. Should you decide to violate the rights of my member, please provide me with all the details so that I make seek relief through any means available to me...............Now, I got to get busy trying to make TOFU sliders for El Swanno........hey, you guys, save me some of those shells.............Anybody ready for some crubbeen?????????..............

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 11:38 PM

Hi group....Couldn't resist the oyster bar any longer.....Wore my "Eat It Raw" T-Shirt just for the occasion...........let's get 'em going here huh?.......So what's with the dog, thing looks stupider than my weimaraner..........and geeziz, keep him to hell away from Cleigh!!!......HEY!!!! FOR GAWDSAKE THERE MICK!!! That damn Waylon Heron is getting some kind of heron slobber on the oysters and.....DAMMIT!! Get LaMarca's flamingos out of here too before I let Mian eat another one...........KEERICED...This place ain't a Tavern, its a FOCKIN' ZOO!!!!..........say what Katmyluv?....oh..yeah,sorry........but what's the little thing doing in here anyway?....Yeah,yeah,OK.........Sorry there Phyte ..Pardon ol'Spaw's language.......Didn't even see you here!!! Ya' know, you'd have to stand on three bricks to kick a duck in the ass and..OUCH!! GEEZIZ KAT!! Gimmee a break here....I was just trying to make nice ya' know?...Just lighten up..It wasn't like I was trying to fix her up with David like Bee...YEOW!!!OOOF!!!Damn Beebs I didn't see you here either.....Whadda' pair...Can't say a fockin' wor..FWOMP!!SMACK!!WHOP!!THWUMP!!!.......can I get a hand up off the floor here?...and get the dog away from me too.................Lookit here, I just want to get some raw ones and I'll be outta' here......whadda nite, must be somethin' in the air............Hey, don't be wastin' no oysters on Leej either...rolled oysters my ass..FWOMP!!..Aw damn Kat..WHACK!........Ooboy.....OK, OK...Kat, why don't you take the wee one back to the litter box garden and let her chase some faeries or somethin'?.......Oy.......Anyway, Leej wouldn't know a rolled oyster from a rolled pick-up! He's a briarhopper!!! The only "oysters" that boy ever et didn't have no shell!!!.......Hey Mick, the heron's into the oysters again....that's all ya got left huh?...Okay Waylon, pull up a stool and we'll share.............Man alive, these are really f....WHAP!........Kat wouldja' cut it out? I only got out the eff sound....I was about to say they were, uh....keep the hands down dear..."fine," they are really "fine" tastin' oysters...............She's got a real mother thing going with Lil Phyte ain't she?...........Look Kat, let's take the kid and let her play in the garden til she goes to sleep? We'll play her a couple nice tunes, ya know?..........We might as well go anyway..the heron just polished off the last oyster I see..............Why do I come here?.........Okay Wee One, I'll grab my 12-string back at the box and sing something nice....take Mama Kat's hand and we'll go............Get some more oysters in Mick, I'll be back tomorrow...How about some Conch too....makes great fritters......I could really go for some focki..SLAP!!!.......aw geez, its gonna' be a long night........................

Spaw

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: katlaughing
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 11:58 PM

Just sing and strum, 'Spaw, sing and strum!!! Don't mind the tears rolling down my face from the uncontrollable laughing! My little darlin will be just fine if you'll just strum and sing. Got it???!! **BG** Mind the dog, now. Somebody let Den know that the dog is with me, when he comes back, please. Oh, and tell him thanks for the drink!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Susan A-R
Date: 16 Oct 99 - 12:08 AM

Mmmm! Thanks Mick, it's so nice to have someone else cooking for a change. Now if thrrere is really a need for some sllimy tofu, I could probably come up with something. I think that mushrooms are a better bet for veggie slime though. Can't manage either raw "sliders" or mushrooms myself. I'll stick to the scampi. Oh, want me to slide some swordfish and veggies on skewers and marinate em for tomorrow?

And where's that nice DougR and his WD40?? I am not sure the bar's a good spot for that back rub, what with Spaw's wreckage, and LN's milk rings. I am hoping that the Oyster Bar has opened in a climate that is not so blasted freezing as it is up here tonight. P'raps there is a nice picnic table out there somewhere under the stars where I can hear Spaw, or whoever is tuning up that twelve string. Ahh. . . zzzzzz

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: alison
Date: 16 Oct 99 - 01:01 AM

I can't believe 'Spaw missed a chance to comment on the "rights of your member"..... LOL

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: T in Oklahoma (Okiemockbird)
Date: 16 Oct 99 - 10:15 AM

Here's a good Tavern song. I didn't find it under "M" in DT, so I figure it's new to many of us (except to Bruce O.)

THE MISTRESS' HEALTH Collected by J. A. Fuller Maitland from John Burberry, gamekeeper, September, 1892. Published in Lucy E. Broadwood and J.A. Fuller Maitland, English County Songs, Leadenhill Press, London, and Scribners, New York, 1893.

Solo: Here's a health unto the misteress, the fairest of twenty: Chorus: O is she so? is she so ? is she so ? Solo: Is our glass full, or is your glass empty ? Chorus: Come let us know, let us know, let us know. Solo: We'll drink him out so deep and we'll sing ourselves to sleep, and sing ho! and sing ho! and sing ho! Chorus: We'll drink him out so deep and we'll sing ourselves to sleep, and sing ho! and sing ho! and sing ho!

We could modify the words, say to "here's a health to Little Neophyte, the fairest of twenty". Or if we are willing to modify the note values a little, we could sing, "Here's a health to Sgt. Kat and her Mudcat Commandos, the fairest and most dangerously armed of twenty thousand".

T.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 Oct 99 - 02:40 PM

Nobody around huh?........whadda' break! I'll just leave a note:

Dear Mick,

How come you can talk about your member in front of the kid and Kat doesn't whomp the holy hell out of you? Last night was really tough.....the kid like to never went to sleep and now she and Kat are off contemplating thoughts of the day about vertigo for gawdsake!

Lookit here, I'm going out to a retirement party tonight and I thought I'd drop off the 'Catch of the Day' for your fish fry. Howzabout getting in some conch for tomorrow if you can.........and keep the heron away from the oysters will you?

Thanks, Spaw

...........there we go..that oughta' do........so I'll just be hitting th....AWGAWDAM!!!.......they really need to get the dog ta' hell outta' here.......yuckwhatamess...........lemmee just scrape that off on this banjo..........what kinda' dog is that anyway? Crossed with a Yak or what?...........geez............

Spaw

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Big Mick
Date: 16 Oct 99 - 02:43 PM

The door flies open and the biggest Mick in the village comes in, huffing and puffing as he hauls in two buckets of oysters................Hey Leej, would you mind going out to the truck and getting those other two buckets of oysters..........Thanks Lad, I am gettin' too old for this shit.............What?.........I am wearing the hardhat because I saw what happened to 'Spaw last night every time he started to open his mouth. And I have a flack jacket under the jumper so MamaKat canna get me in the gut. She hit that boy everywhere he has skin............Ever since Little Neo showed up, she has gotten very protective...........someone go out under that palm tree and wake up Susan A-R and tell her that the mongrel horde.......wait, make that the mongrel, heron, duck and possum horde, will be in for some eats in a bit.........What, FAIR ONE?......Yes, I know, I canna believe that I laid that line out there and no one picked up on it either. But the ole sliders do make one pretty amorous and probably folks just wanted to get outta here and "work" them off................What? How do you work off oysters?????? Come on up to my joint and I will show you right after you look at my etchings..........Allright, youse bunch of layabouts, let's get this food ready for the next round..........

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Jeri
Date: 16 Oct 99 - 03:58 PM

I would love to post the lyrics to a song with the refrain "don't pet the dog," but two problems arise:
The Acronym guys (bite me, I know the guy who wrote it, and
I can't remember it.
Trust me, it's funny.

"Don't gimme no oysters, daddy,
tell me what else have you got?
Don't you gimme no oysters daddy,
Oh, what else have you got?
Let's go look at your etchings,
'Cause I don't want no cold sea snot."
©Me, 1999 - I hereby grant permission for myself to post this wherever I want, and for anybody to do whatever they want with it, including recording it and making a million bucks, as long as they donate half to Mudcat.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: MAG (inactive)
Date: 16 Oct 99 - 04:49 PM

Ah yes: the composer passed, regrettably, about 12 years ago. A floridian.

I am posting the chorus only, for c. protections purposes.

Don't pet the dog

Don't pet him whatever you do

He ain't been fixed, and he knows some tricks

That'll sure make a fool out of you

Don't pet the dog

He gets it confused with romance

tum tumm te tee, and the next thing you know

He'll be taking your leg to the dance.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Margo
Date: 16 Oct 99 - 04:52 PM

I like my oysters smoked.......I don't care what they smoke, as long as they do it. Mmmmmm.....Margo

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 16 Oct 99 - 05:05 PM

Here, Mick, let this young (soon-to-be-50 year old) pup carry those buckets for you. Spaw wants conch? He must need to re-sole his Doc Martins, damn things are tough as shoe leather. Unless of course, you slice em, dice em, beat em, and grind em, mix em with this corn batter I was using for the rolled pick-up truck... I mean oysters... and make conch fritters out of em. Dip em in hot sauce and keep a cold brew handy to put out the fire.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Jeri
Date: 16 Oct 99 - 05:13 PM

Oops, MAG, I guess I don't know the composer.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 16 Oct 99 - 05:38 PM

I think I'm just too young for this place. I slept well in the garden Spaw but I would appreciate if others would aim more carefully when releasing their bladder. Thanks for the crayon connection Mick, are you in Cyberlove? I've heard about that stuff. Mama KatSageWalker looks out for me cause I put a sign up when I first joined Mudcat 'Looking For A Foster Parent' and she kindly responded. Watches me like a hawk she does. If Rick catches me here in this bar, I'm in Big Shit! I'm supposed to be practicing my banjo, not hanging around with a bunch of lunatics. Luv Little Neo

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: DougR
Date: 16 Oct 99 - 07:05 PM

Little Neo: Appears to me if you slept out in the great outdoors last night you might be in the market for a nice, soothing sensual massage. Just climb up on the bar and lay on your tummy (Ho Ho Ho). A quick dose of my magic WD40 and you'll be fit in no time. (Kat your next, followed by Alison, and then Susan A-R) A talented man's work is never done! DougR

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Oct 99 - 07:14 PM

Don't you know it, DougR! You're on! 'Phyte, take him up on it! The man has magic hands!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 17 Oct 99 - 07:39 AM

Last time someone coated me with WD40 was when my parents locked themselves out of the house and they had to wedge me through the milk box to get in. Doug, I do appreciate the massage offer, but I've got to leave this bar. I must practice my banjo and prepare for my next lessons.
Little Neo

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Susan A-R
Date: 17 Oct 99 - 06:07 PM

Ok Mick, I have my Dad's trusty oyster knife, and I've brought along some homemade horseradish (from me front yard supply) and am ready to roll. Just don't make me eat 'em please. I'll put someone else to work (GET OVER HERE SPAW!!!) skewering this swordfish along with some nice onions, 'shrooms (I know the rest of you like them but I find them slimy as oysters) cherry tomatoes and peppers. And who can fire up that gas grill without blowing us all into tavern 16?? Oh, and could I please have a pint of black vile stuff. Sleeping out on that picnic table, even after DougR's massage was not a great idea, nice heavy dew, nice hard boards and oh, I am not as young as I used to be.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: MMario
Date: 17 Oct 99 - 08:57 PM

The gas grill is fired up, lava rocks are glowing, but I also have a nice bed of coals in the grill out back, ready to be damped down with grape trimmings and some mesquite - for a smoky taste....

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: alison
Date: 17 Oct 99 - 11:12 PM

I don't know about the rest of you.. but I need to rinse some of this WD40 off, and work of some of this food...... so I've fixed the "magic door"... it is leading out to a beautiful secluded beach ..... the sand is still warm from a gorgeous day and the sun is setting on the horizon... anyone for a skinny dip?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Big Mick
Date: 17 Oct 99 - 11:20 PM

OUTTA MY WAY YOU BUNCH OF EEJITS...........DOUG, YOU MAKE ONE MOVE AND I WILL FORGET THAT BEEB'S LOVES YOU............Yes, <FAIR ONE, I am ready..........Oh be still my quivering..........heart......I am right behind you, FAIR ONE...........And what a..........never mind.............MAMAKAT, better keep the wee Neo in the Tavern...........Susan, you are on your own on the sliders........Huh?.........I will be gone at least and hour.............maybe forever.......Yes, FAIR ONE.....here I come......Poor choice of words, Mick, really poor...........

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Dave Swan
Date: 17 Oct 99 - 11:25 PM

Look at that boy churn the water, looks like a damn Evinrude stuck wide open. Somebody call water rescue.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: DougR
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 12:20 AM

Well, Big Mick is a goner I'm afraid. Drowning in passion by now I would guess. Alison, good luck. May the residue from the WD40 protect you. DougR

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: WyoWoman
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 03:06 AM

Omigawd. I go away for a few days and now we've got an oyster bar???

I hate to see an oyster drunk.

What DO you do with a drunken oyster, anyway?

WyoWoman (back from Memphis and now the proud possessor of her very own Elvis WAND!!! Yessssss!)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Roger the skiffler
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 05:56 AM

(speaking thro' the drool): if Hairy Fox challenge the Mudcat, I think we could demonstrate we're just a bunch of foodies with a side interest in folk & blues!
At least no-one can tell us what to cook and eat!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Big Mick
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 09:04 AM

All right, youse bowsies, off the floor with the lot of you. Clean this joint up, cause I got some cooking to do. THE FAIR ONE and I have been a little busy..............none of yer fe**ing business 'Spaw.......and get that damn hound out of here, before I skin him and cook his worthless arse, I did spend time in the Phillipines you know...............Huh?........Hell no, I am not trying to offend Filipino's, I love those people, really enjoy their food and hospitality.......but you don't see many dogs running around.........OK, here is the menu..........Currant Scones with Strawberry jam....Champ(you will love this stuff, THE FAIR ONE) Some Irish Stew..........And a trifle for dessert.......Coffee with it, and if you want a little of John Jameson's finest Irish Whiskey in it, why that would be just fine.............FAIR ONE, would you do me a favor, pulleaze?................Would you run to the corner and get me some green onions and real butter.......got to have them for the Champ............WyoWoman, vacation is over........I need you to start scrubbing the spuds for the stew and champ. Also would you minde cleaning the carrots? Then I need them peeled and quartered. Also slice up the onions..........Damn but I worked up an appetite with THE FAIR ONE................Come on, let's get this place ready for a meal...............And DougR, would you mind cleaning the bar of the WD40 and throw away your spray cans............and quit looking at THE FAIR ONE like that...........Sheesh, that guy is tough to compete with........

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Allan C.
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 09:33 AM

WW, you dip him in the butter 'n garlic sauce 'til he sobers...

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: WyoWoman
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 11:08 AM

Funny, that's just how *I* like to sober up...

ww

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: DougR
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 01:03 PM

Well, Big Mick, you didn't drown yourself I see. That's good because I don't think anybody else here could cook the meals you conjur up to serve us and it's damn good grub. I think I may discard the WD40, as you suggest, and maybe I'll just go with a mixture of Guinness and Fitch's hair oil, if I can still find any. That way the ladies can get a tan color to their skin but still have the benefit of a good lube job from the Fitche's. Whatta you think, Mick? As to Alison, well she always get my SPECIAL treatment and I ain't tellin' you what that is... DougR

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: MMario
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 01:10 PM

Elvis WAND? ELVIS wand? huh? Am I dense, missing something here? ELVIS WAND?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Uilleand
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 01:23 PM

Why it really must be a telepathic thing. Oysters are just the right thing. Could I please have a dozen on the half shell and three shooters? Much obliged.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 01:35 PM

Didn't Elvis call his wand "Little Elvis"?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Allan C.
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 02:01 PM

'Course then you have to lick off all the excess sauce...

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Allan C.
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 02:11 PM

Gosh, I think I just made myself hungry. Mick, when's that Champ going to be ready - soon I hope. Got a starvin' man over here! Maybe I can temporarily appease the hunger monster by drowning him in a bit of the Dickel. Ah-h yes. That helps. Take your time there, Mick. Maybe we can talk Uilleand into singing a couple of songs after she downs that last shooter. She's got a voice like an angel.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Uilleand
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 02:17 PM

Since I'm not responsible for anything I do after the third beer, just be sure to get me back off the table. So hand me another stout and I'll consider having a third. Maybe that finger pickin' will go smoother now that I feel a bit more mellow, eh?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Allan C.
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 02:26 PM

That usually works for me regarding dancing, but fingerpicking - m-m-m-m dunno. You'll probably be okay. For me it is usually the chord hand that loses contact with reality after about the third or fourth beer. The fingerpicking just seems to go on automatically.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Bert
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 02:37 PM

Gimme a couple of those scones with strawberry jam and some clotted cream. Seeing as I'm eating this sweet stuff I'll wash it down with a Mackeson instead of the 'vile black'.

Allen, I don't even want to think about you licking off the excess sauce, following LEEJ's previous post.

Bert.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Allan C.
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 02:41 PM

Nor do I!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 04:19 PM

--not sure I should wander in here...don't trust them oyster bars..Being a former Kansas boy, we didn't see many fresh oysters, so I never developed a taste...then one day, a guy told me what oysters are famous for..and my eyes lit up!..Hey! Maybe I could LEARN to like'em, if they have magical powers...so, being as how I was to meet this lovely lady later, I ordered a dozen, and wouldn't you know it..only 6 of 'em worked!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Allan C.
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 04:26 PM

Musta been them mountain orsters! They don't work near as good.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 04:28 PM

LOL at Bert! Timing is everything, on the Mudcat as in life itself.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Mían
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 04:37 PM

Sigh. I'm still waiting for someone to comment on Mick's joint (16 Oct 2:43 p.m.). I'm for the champ, myself. And more of what's Good For You. Toucan master this stuff.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Uilleand
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 05:30 PM

Why can't I remember not to have oysters for lunch! My work ethic goes right out the window. I guess I'll just have to hang out at the tavern a bit longer. Give me some of that soup Mick, maybe it'll work as an antidote.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: T in Oklahoma (Okiemockbird)
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 05:41 PM

Mick, do you have anything from the deep besides austers ? Maybeso tuna ? salmon ? trout ? I don't go for bivalves much except in special circumstances.

I just heard a joke on my local NPR station: Two ropes went into a bar. The barkeeper says, "We don't serve ropes." The ropes went out, then one said to the other, "lemme try something." It tied itself in knots and frizzed up its ends, then went back into the bar. The barkeeper says, "hey, I said no ropes!" The rope says, "I'm not a rope." The barkeeper says, "You're not a rope ?" And the rope says, "Nope. I'm a frayed knot."

It's fundraising week, whaddaya expect ?

T.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Big Mick
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 06:56 PM

Hell yes, Okiemockbird, I can fix you up. First, while I am preparing your meal, help yourself to some of this Smoked Salmon Paté. I make it with cream cheese and eggs in it, a little onion, lemon juice and some whipping cream. Pretty tasty, eh. Goes great at a picnic. And have a little of the Lobster Bisque........the color? It is made best with a female lobster because when you clean it, you find a red or coral roe. It gives the Bisque a lovely color. I know, I know......you wanted to move away from the bivalves, but try some of these Scallops in White Wine Sauce. It is wonderful.

Now T., I am going to make you some Turbot with Mustard Cream Sauce. You will love it..........what'd I tell you?........The Ole Mick loves his seafood, and that is why he collects this stuff........Now boys, I want you to leave Uilleand alone while she sings..........I know she is beautiful, you bowsie, I was there last weekend. I am just warning you now, that her voice is enchanting. Tie that up with her looks, and about three jars of Uncle Arthur's finest (Guinness or the vile black stuff for the uninitiated) and we have the makin's of trouble. So I will help her down, and the rest of you layabouts had better mind yer manners.......MAMAKAT....HEY, KAT.....WOULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR AND TAKE THIS ROLLING PIN AND PROTECT THIS FINE YOUNG WOMAN FROM THE LIKES O' THESE EEJITS? T'ANKS.........What FAIR ONE?........Now you know that I am completely taken by you, I am just watching out for this fine young woman, protecting her from these blaggards.........Jazus, kat, don't give her that griddle.......shit, I have to get out of her......damn, T., you are on your own on the rest......OUCH, DAMN.....SHIT......Come on, FAIR ONE, you are the only one for me.....Damn.....

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: T in Oklahoma (Okiemockbird)
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 07:23 PM

Katlaughing, when Mick comes back from wherever he's hiding, tell him his cooking's great. T.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Oct 99 - 10:02 PM

Sheesh, where's my Brigade of Howling Mudcats when I need 'em? Mick, Alison, come back here and make nice! Jaysus do I have t'mother ye all?? And, me only 6 yrs. when I had LilNeo! Yea, Tbird, his cooking is great. I am wondering when in the haitch he is gonna write us a cookbook and sell it on the Mudcat. WW- Elvis' wand????What int eh world did Memphis do to you, woman??You might want to talk to 'Spaw about getting that thing bronzed. He was talking about getting a new member & having the old bronzed the other day. I told him, at least he and Karen wouldn't have to worry about viagra some day. BadaBOOM!

Okay, the bar is cleaned off, thank you DougeR. Could we use a little Puritan oil? That way the moral minority can't come after us! Ullieand, would you please play us a tune. I've been eharing abotu your sweet dulcet tones and would like to just sit here and listen. Whew!!

Now, Mick, when ya get down playing kissy face-makeup with The Fair One, how about some shrimp scampi? I'm with Tbird on this one; never met an oyster I liked except in stew....and ya can fergit about them Rocky Mtn ones! Ugh! while I'm waiting I think I'll jsut have an amaretto.

LeeJ - how about a story when we get through listening to Ullieand? Ah...this is so relaxing....just right.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Allan C.
Date: 19 Oct 99 - 07:20 AM

M-m-m-marvelous! Simply marvelous, Uilleand. Here, let me help you down. There. That's it. Careful! We almost knocked over the candle. What a lovely song it was! I couldn't understand a word of it, but it warmed me clear down to my toes. I wonder if you could spare a few minutes out on the porch swing to translate the German to me...Hey! Stand back you guys! I'm trying to talk to this fine lady here and don't need any help from the likes of you! What? Oh, sorry, I misunderstood your intentions. I didn't know I was between you and that dish of Mick's seafood delight. Could you save me a bit of it? We'll be back after a while. Of course its hard to figure how long the translation might take.

So, Uilleand, speaking of translation, Mick tells me that your name (without the "d") would mean "elbow" in the Emerald Isle. Maybe you could tell me a little about that on our way out to the porch.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: WyoWoman
Date: 19 Oct 99 - 10:11 AM

Since you've asked, I'll be heppy to 'splain the Elvis wand, for which I searched every freakin' souvenir shop in Memphis -- which, as you might imagine, is a substantial number.

Ye Olde Elvis Wand is about 12 inches long (now, mind yer manners for heaven's sake, it's just a toy) -- a slender cylinder filled with clear fluid that has gold glitter, little musical notes, stars and hearts in it. And floating in all this stuff is one tiny pink Cadillac and one really tiny little Elvis figure, both of which pretty much get lost in the swirl of glitter and stuff floating around. So the game is to find Elvis. And then, being the whimsical sort, I figure if you've found Elvis, you ought to get a wish.

I had one of these years ago and someone stole it, er liberated it, from my desk at work. So I was determined when I got to Memphis that I was going to find a replacement. Only, as it turns out, they've stopped manufacturing them. So I found one on my last day in Memphis and now have an actual collector's item. I'm so thrilled.

Graceland, for those of you who've never been there, was simply amazing. It's hard to imagine so many poor decorating choices made in one relatively small mansion. The shag carpet on the walls and ceiling and the 14 televisions were only a small part of the joy. As you walk along listening to the tour on cassette, reverentially explaining that this is the jungle room where Elvis and his friends (known in that area as the "Memphis Mafia," as I understand) used to gather in the evenings to jam and "visit," you just can't help remembering all the *other* things you've heard went on in the jungle room. (Probably having more to do with that *other* Elvis wand...)

But, hey. Icons are as icons do, as my mother used to say. I got some Elvis guitar picks, too. And ate barbecued pork ribs. And danced on Beal street until they tossed us out and closed the place down. So, all in all, it was a most satisfying trip. And, oh yeah, the conference my company paid for me to attend was really good, too.

WW

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Uilleand
Date: 19 Oct 99 - 10:59 AM

Well, Allan, Uilleand with the 'd' means 'honeysuckle' in Gaelic. I don't think it has anything to do with an elbow, except for maybe one in the ribs for smartass remarks. But I do happen to like porch swings and am in desperate need of some fresh air. Mick, thanks for helping me down, don't think I could have made it on my own.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Roger the skiffler
Date: 19 Oct 99 - 11:15 AM

Gawd, that food smells so good! We could smell it right over at the Neil Young Center, so we've come in the center 'bus, all those of us allowed out, dish it up Mick, the Center food is awful. As you can see we've been making Elvis wands in handicrafts, but ours really work, you can have three wishes, the voices tell me so!
RtS

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Allan C.
Date: 19 Oct 99 - 11:28 AM

"Honeysuckle" - and a lovely name it is, too. Maybe it was a plot by Mick to trick me into insulting you. No matter. It's off to the swing we go - and if there isn't one there already, then by golly I'll BUILD one! Bring your guitar and you can try to teach me that song about the beetles. Or just leave it behind and just whisper some sweet things to me in German - or any other language for that matter!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Oct 99 - 11:41 AM

found this in my mailbox this morning...couldn't think of a better place to leave it.....

A Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a pub. They proceed to each buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flies landed in each of their pints,and were stuck in the thick head.

The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened. The Irishman too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!"

ain't multi-cultural humor interesting?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: MMario
Date: 19 Oct 99 - 11:49 AM

okay - heard that a couple hundred years ago last weekend. It explains where THEY got it.....though of course, it wasn't QUITE the same....

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Uilleand
Date: 19 Oct 99 - 12:48 PM

Actually I don't believe dear Mick was ribbing you with the 'elbow', just two similar words. Hey and if you have any wint-o-green life savers we can make the sparks fly on that porch.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Allan C.
Date: 19 Oct 99 - 12:52 PM

Sparkin'!! Thought you'd never ask!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: skarpi
Date: 19 Oct 99 - 05:12 PM

Mick what ............................... is going on ?????? Dammmmmmnnnnnnn I think I am to late at Tavern this time as always, I have so much to do at my work. Hey whats on the menu?????. Heyrðu Mick ertu búinn að fá pakkan frá mér.????? Ég vona að þú njótir vel. I am gonna write this in English later. Skarpi Iceland, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......................cold.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Bert
Date: 19 Oct 99 - 05:26 PM

Hi Skarpi, You're never too late for the tavern
brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......................cold
translated into Cockney would be "bleedin taters"

Which gets us back to the thong again, but there's no room for a spud 'cos Mick has got his elbow in it this time.

It's happy hour. Gimme a drink.

Bert

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: skarpi
Date: 19 Oct 99 - 05:34 PM

Hi Bert , where is the menu, to you have saltfish from Iceland on it???????????. I like to HAVE A GUINNESS thank you a large one. It might warm me up a little bit. skarpi Iceland.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Bert
Date: 19 Oct 99 - 05:37 PM

We've got everything you can imagine here at the Tavern and Big Mick can cook it all to perfection.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: skarpi
Date: 19 Oct 99 - 05:40 PM

Well that is fine for me . skarpi Iceland.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: katlaughing
Date: 19 Oct 99 - 06:19 PM

Gooa day, Skarpi! Sorry I don't know the Icelandic for "day". How are you, man? It's so good to see you in here. Cold and dark up there, eh? We've got more than Guinness to warm you up, if you've a mind to dip in the hot tub or sip a little hot buttered rum. The hot buttered rum is just to whet our appetites for annap's gathering in January of 2000. Oh, and we've got full spectrum lights over the hot tub for those of you who need your sunshine, no matter what the weather is. I'll bet your kids are happy to have you for a father and friend, Skarpi. You lead them a fine example. How about a song for us? In Icelandic? Lovely, mmm......

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: skarpi
Date: 19 Oct 99 - 07:46 PM

Hi kat, a song in Icelandic okei here is one about the Raven.

Krummi svaf í klettagjá kaldri vetrarnóttu á verður margt að meini, verur margt að meini. fyrr en dagur fagur rann freðið nefið dregur hann undan stórum steini, undan stórum steini.

Allt er frosið úti í gor ekkert fæst við ströndu mör svengd er metti mína............................

this song got four verses, and I cant remember them all

Yes it is cold and dark up here, still the heat is from 2 to 12 on celsius + , so it is okei for us this week anyway. until next bless skarpi Iceland.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Allan C.
Date: 20 Oct 99 - 08:11 AM

Whew! It got pretty cold out there on the porch (but this is no reflection at all upon Uilleand!) once the sun went below the horizon. I think I'll sip a little Irish coffee and head over the hot tub to warm up.

But while the sun was still glowing brightly above the mountains, the trees were putting on such a wonderful show. The hickories were like shining gold, the oaks were as if dipped in claret and the poplars shimmered and shook in the breeze like the "flappers" of the prohibition years. And the sun glinting off the river turned it to a strand of hammered silver.

All of this loveliness was but a backdrop to the beauty of what took place on the porch...

Or at least, it would have been except that Uilleand insisted upon spending most of the time chasing some little bugs which were crawling up the walls of the tavern near the porch light. She's still out there and probably has quite a collection by now.

I'm thinking that in the future we may have to limit her to only two shooters.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: MMario
Date: 20 Oct 99 - 08:31 AM

Allen - you went out the NORTH porch! If you'd gone out onto the SOUTH porch you would have found yourself in the southern hemisphere -- and THERE sumer is acummin in!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Allan C.
Date: 20 Oct 99 - 08:54 AM

Quite right. I guess I was considerably distracted. I would have followed the lovely Uilleand to the southeast corner of a rathole if she had led the way.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Uilleand
Date: 20 Oct 99 - 09:10 AM

Those bugs are vital ingredients, I'll have you know. For what I shan't mention. Too dangerous giving such a recipe to the uninitiated. Suffice it to say that at least the flies spoke with a distinct Spanish accent. And you thought it was the oysters, ha! The rats we'll have to find next. The concoction in the cauldron is already brewing in the basement of the tavern.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Allan C.
Date: 20 Oct 99 - 09:21 AM

Now, now. You KNOW all that stuff isn't necessary. But if you should decide to drink any of the final brew, please remember to be kind...

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: alison
Date: 20 Oct 99 - 09:27 AM

will Mick make it out of the kitchen? will Allan C drink Uilleand's potion? will I get another massage from DougR?....... all these questions and a whole heap more will (maybe) be anwered in ...Mudcat tavern #16

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern #15 & Oyster Bar
From: Uilleand
Date: 20 Oct 99 - 09:46 AM

Just getting prepared for Halloween. Hand me my broom. Now, where shall we put the decorations? And since I was chasing bugs, I don't have the faintest about what you think I should KNOW. Wasn't that far gone, at least I think I wasn't. And I do know you are too much the gentleman anyway, dear Allan.