WORST single lines

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Jo Taylor
Date: 17 Jan 00 - 08:33 PM

Rick - you will be so happy to know that 'Seasons in the Sun' is doing very well in the UK charts - No.4 now, was no.1 last week!

This is called Rick's site... and I think you'll be pleased to know that 'Seasons in the Sun is listed - serendipity?! And I just had to copy this section of the lyrics as written:
"Good bye to you my thrusted friend,
we`ve known each other since we were nine or ten;
together we climbed hills and trees,
learned of love A B C;
skinned our harts and skinned our knees.
(sic)(sick?)thrusted friend? skinned our harts??
Worst Songs for 1974

Jo

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 17 Jan 00 - 09:06 PM

"Thrusted friend" is a great image for a song...

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Dick Karon
Date: 17 Jan 00 - 09:19 PM

Just tuned in and am surprised to see that no one came up with the chorus & title, "These tears have washed I love you from the blackboard of my heart." The chorus goes on, "It's too late to change the slate & make another start, I'm satisfied the way things are although we're far apart, These tears have washed I love you from the blackboard of my heart."

If you want something more cebreal, trythe start of the chorus from "The Id goes Marchin' On": "Oh Dr. Freud, Dr. Freud, How I wish you had been otherwise employed."

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Mike,NZ
Date: 17 Jan 00 - 11:00 PM

Like Dick I have just tuned in and spent an entertaining 45 miinutes reading thru this lot. How does anyone choose a bad line from so many potentials. I laughed at the comments on 'Ilkley Moor' and agreed withsome of them. In the same vein is the song "I love to go a wandering with my knapsack on my back..." I still cringe at the chorus 40-odd years after being forced to stand in front of a class and sing it.

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Chester
Date: 18 Jan 00 - 03:07 AM

I don't know if I'd say for certain it's the worst line I ever heard but there was a country song on the radio in maybe the 70s that drove me crazy because it just was so ungrammatical it made no sense. "Is it wrong for loving you? Is it wrong for being true?" I always wanted to wring his neck and say dammit, either say " Is is wrong to love you? " or "Am I wrong for loving you?" Don't get me wrong, I'm not stuck up about grammar. My very favorite rhyme ( so far ) in music is in Coal Miner's Daughter when Loretta sings " We worked and the work was hard; at night we'd sleep cause we was tard." The woman's a goddess (well, if you overlook the Republican Party endorsements in her autobiography).

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: John Gray / Australia
Date: 18 Jan 00 - 08:29 AM

In the Digitrad is the original version of Rolf harris' song "Tie Me Kangaroo Down" The second last verse has the worst ( most disgusting ) lines ; Let me Abos go loose Bruce, Let me Abos go loose. They're of no further use, Bruce, So let me Abos go loose.

There are some explanatory notes after the last verse. It was later released without this verse but the damage had been done. It was a very popular song when first released so I guess our attitudes here weren't real flash in the late 60's.

FME / John

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: InOBU
Date: 18 Jan 00 - 08:43 AM

This line is from a song by a band called No Fun, and is both the best and worst line writen by their bard...
Hitting on my sister
because I cant resister

what can one say about a lyric like that?
Larry

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Willie-O
Date: 18 Jan 00 - 09:38 AM

Really bad Canadian lines...Well my friend Lynn Miles has written a lot of disappointed love songs with skating imagery...my favorite has a line that goes:

"There is a Zamboni of sorts in all our hearts..."

As a metaphor, it's kind of like trying to move a piece of furniture that's three inches wider than the door frame... (what the hell?) but it's still better than:

"Sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold you till I die, till we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides."

Y'know, there was a period of about five minutes when Dan Hill, the writer of this awful thing, burst on the scene, (it was quite a mess) when people actually took him seriously. I can still quote verbatim this immortal prophecy of some Ottawa Citizen "critic" in the late seventies:

"[Dan Hill] is, perhaps, our finest songwriter. So long Gord Lightfoot, and Murray McLauchlan and Bruce Cockburn, you better hustle if you want to keep up."

Well, three of those four names have a pretty assured position in the songwriters hall of fame...I just hope Dan Hill has a nice safe job and isn't allowed to write and record songs anymore.

Willie-O

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: blind desert pete
Date: 18 Jan 00 - 01:50 PM

Peter T. Airborne! I always hateed the jody romp em, stomp em kick em in the ass, hide their bodies in the grass.

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,chuck
Date: 22 Jan 00 - 11:09 AM

First heard this gem about 10 years ago on the radio:

Yubba dubba doo, the King is gone, and so are you.

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: InOBU
Date: 22 Jan 00 - 11:45 AM

This line takes an accompaning story...
I love the song, but, I inject a Free before one word, for reasons which become apparent...
There was music there, on the Derry Air...
My friends Tony, both from Derry, had a band called the Derry Airs. They asked me to do a silk screan for their band T-shirt. I suggested a drawing of someones bum. They didn t get it, speaking no french... Tony T-bags got very serrious, No, Lehrry, like, ya know, the Free Dehrry wall, er sommat.
I told him I knew of what he spoke, but... and told him what Derry Air brought to mind in french. Red faces all round...
Now the D A sing, there was music there, on the free Derry air
Larry

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 22 Jan 00 - 02:03 PM

< What do you get when you kiss a girl, Enough germs to catch pneumonia And when you do she'll never phone-ya I'll never fall in love again.

Au contraire! That's great! Inspired! The song is intended as a hokey joke, and succeeds wonderfully!

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 22 Jan 00 - 02:20 PM

Since I expect I'm older than most here, I remember with a particular sense of revulsion a song of the early sixties:

Oh, it's delightful to be married, To be, to be, to be married!

How cutesy-baby can you get and still live?

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 22 Jan 00 - 02:33 PM

Bert said:

"Your point is taken, I can see how you would hate it if you don't like that sort of thing."

On the other hand, "It's just the sort of thing you'd enjoy, if you LIKE that sort of thing!"

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 22 Jan 00 - 03:03 PM

Dick Karon said:

Dr. Freud! One of my VERY favorite songs! Always gets a good laugh, and often requests for a copy of the words, but not as good in these latter days when psychotherapy is no longer hot in the public consciousness as it was in the 50s and 60s.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: JVZ
Date: 22 Jan 00 - 05:56 PM

Sometimes, a song is so bad, it's good.

She's my darlin', she's my daisy; She's humpbacked and she's crazy; That cross-eyed gal that lives upon the hill. Oh she took strychnine and died and I hope she's satisfied, 'Cause she done the whole darn thing against my will.

John

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Troll
Date: 22 Jan 00 - 06:24 PM

Early Elvis: I Forgot To Remember To Forget. What profound imagery.

troll

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Caitrin
Date: 23 Jan 00 - 02:03 PM

Oh, if we're going to get into military songs,I know lots of those. I have an uncle who was Airborne and got a big kick out of teaching me stuff that would tick off my mother.
For instance...
There are no airborne rangers in the navy,
There are no airborne rangers in the navy,
They spend all their time on boats,
doing God knows what with goats,
There are no airborne rangers in the navy. It goes on to say unflattering things about West Point and the air force, as well. There's doubtlessly a Marine Corps verse, too, but I don't know it.

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: hrodelbert
Date: 24 Jan 00 - 12:55 AM

Don't know that this is the worst line but certainly one of the saddest. "I could have loved you better didn't mean to be unkind, you know that was the last thing on my mind"

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 24 Jan 00 - 12:59 AM

hrodel... that's one of the very Best.

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,Petr
Date: 24 Jan 00 - 11:51 AM

How about, Stalin wasn't stallin' when he beat the beast of Berlin. or Saddam is at 'em again, Uncle sam thought he had 'em but Saddam is at 'em again, Skiddly Dubai, Skiddly Dubai Abyssinia, Abyssinia ... (Scat style) cant remember the rest Cheers Petr

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 00 - 12:03 PM

Should I mention the awful '45 we used to spin in the mess hall? One side went:

"Nashville Katz; he runs a kosher deli.

Nashville Katz; it's the only one in town!

Nashville Katz! It's not like you're in Brooklyn!

Nashville Katz! He's the only one around!.

And the other side has an ode to a Brooklyn girlfriend named Shirley Klein:

"Oi've gotta a goil her name is Shoily Klein.

I'm so glad that Shoiley Klein is mine!

Shoiley! She's a sexy goily! Shoiley!"

Dreckkk!

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,chuck
Date: 24 Jan 00 - 01:54 PM

"Your'e wanted by the po-lice and my wife thinks your'e dead"

I almost like that one!

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Sapper_RE
Date: 24 Jan 00 - 02:52 PM

From the old hymn, The Church is One Foundation:-

Waft Waft ye winds the story, Of what our Lord hath done. Sapper

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,Paul
Date: 24 Jan 00 - 04:25 PM

In the category of really bad lines contained within otherwise pretty good songs, I've always shuddered at. . .

"Looking at the rain, feeling the pain of love loss running through my BRAIN," by Gordon Lightfoot.

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,Chuck
Date: 24 Jan 00 - 07:33 PM

You're not the only choo-choo that was left out in the rain, the day after Santa came (Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn and Jones)

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Molly Malone
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 04:36 PM

Saw Five Constipated men on this and had to add the verse I heard the other day.

Well the fourth, fourth constipated man
His name was Noah, he nearly filled the ark.
etc, etc....
There's a new group to the Arizona Ren Festival called "Hey Nunnie Nunnie." They do this one and I couldn't stop laughing!

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,Slider
Date: 19 Feb 00 - 06:26 AM

How about the Eagles song "Already gone" where one line of the song ends with the word "shelf" and is rhymed with the line "and you'll have to eat your lunch all by your self." Some stuff might not be bad , but just undecipherable like a J. Geils' tune that has a line that sounds to me like"some people call me Maurice for I speak of the pompitous of love..."Maybe I'm not hearing it right,but I haven't been able to figure it out all these years. Another song that was all too clear to understand and god-awfull to boot was entitled "I've been to paradise ,but I've never been to me" Soooo bad it made my toes curl every time I heard it. I changed the title to "I've had some parasites, but I've never had VD." ;~)

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,Bud Savoie
Date: 19 Feb 00 - 11:05 AM

Hey Shamb, are you blonde?

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,Bud Savoie
Date: 19 Feb 00 - 11:09 AM

I mean, "You're so Vain" and "Good King Wenceslaus"; your perception is underwhelming!

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Osmium
Date: 19 Feb 00 - 11:13 AM

Try "put hatch and portal down" it sings easier and means the same.

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,Pixie
Date: 19 Feb 00 - 08:09 PM

I have only one line to quote....or is it two? "Please don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart"

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 Feb 00 - 02:50 PM

"Even windows have pains- they cry when it rains"

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: cowboyuk
Date: 20 Feb 00 - 05:24 PM

The worst lyrics I ever heard 'dead skunk in the middle of the road, stinkin to high heaven'

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: High and Lonesome
Date: 06 Mar 00 - 03:15 AM

My nomination is: "Josephina, Don't you lean-a on the bell. And to Slider, the line "I speak of the Pompetus of Love" is one of the great nonsense lines of modern pop music, because it absolutely definitely sounds like it means something, something we all must know something about, but what it is, I can't quite tell you. There was a movie out a couple of years past, worth seeing, called "The Pompetus of Love." And it was Steve Miller, not J. Geils (Steve Miller being the much better pseudo blues man of his era.)

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Hyperabid
Date: 06 Mar 00 - 05:52 AM

Refferring to an earlier entry regarding "Peaches" by the Stranglers...

(Put's on tin helmet and sports protector before beginning remainder of rant)

Punk music wasn' about producing William Blake - style poetry. The rougher and readier the lyrics - the better. The entire genre was about deconstructing the sad, manufactured state of popular music at the time. I'm sure many punk bands would be proud to be listed on this thread as in many ways they were the folk heroes of their age.

And don't whatever you do get me started on country and western lyrics!

Hyp

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,Jim Dixon
Date: 06 Mar 00 - 10:22 AM

In the realm of Christmas carols, can you match this one for insipidity? - "We wish you a merry Christmas. We wish you a merry Christmas. We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year."

Someone asked Paul Simon if he doesn't get bored singing "Sounds of Silence" at every concert. His response was, "I'm just glad I don't have to make a living for the rest of my life singing 'Feelin' Groovy.'"

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Mister Dressup
Date: 06 Mar 00 - 07:03 PM

I've been reading many of the messages on this thread, and I'm surprized that no one has mentioned the truly inspiring lyrics in the song "Back on the Chain Gang" by the Pretenders:

"....like a pigeon from hell...."

Don't get me wrong, I've always loved the Pretenders (Ok so they're not Folk music, more semi-Punk music especially their first album), but I can't listen to that particular line without laughing.

Mister Dressup

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,The Beanster
Date: 07 Mar 00 - 02:04 AM

John Cougar Mellonhead--"I cannot forget from where it is that I come from." (John, I'll BUY you a book on grammar, okay?) LOL

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,The Beanster
Date: 07 Mar 00 - 02:20 AM

EJ,

I thought that line from Led Zep was "If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now." (Not that that helps the line much!) I very well may be wrong about this and maybe I was just trying to help a ridiculous lyric along all these years with my own imagined version, but are you sure? Now I'm curious...

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,Sandy Smith
Date: 07 Mar 00 - 05:10 PM

Did no one ever learn:

Oh Lord our God arise Scatter our enemies And make them fall Confound their politics Frustrate their knavish tricks On thee our hopes we fix God save us all.

Gos save us if England becomes a republic!

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 07 Mar 00 - 05:58 PM

Dressup, you're right. I've always had a soft spot(so to speak) for Chrissie Hynde, but some of her lyrics certainly indicate drug involvement.

"...came in the house, like a pigeon from hell
That got in our eyes and descended like flies."

this from the same woman who wrote about her new baby

"Welcome here from Outer Space
The Milky Way's still in your eyes
You found yourself a hopeless case
One who's seeking perfection on Earth
Or some kind of rebirth."

How about the King of the Esoteric Line, Michael Stipe.

"Birdy in the hand, part of Life's rich demand
And its urgency, begin and I missed it
I looked for it, and I found it,
Miles Standish proud - Congratulate me"

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: tar_heel
Date: 07 Mar 00 - 06:24 PM

i tried my darndest not to listen to too much radio this past christmas,because i didn't want to hear....."grandma got run over by a raindeer!!"oh crap!!!now i'll be singing it all week!!! help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,chuck
Date: 18 Mar 00 - 11:42 AM

141 could draw faster than he, but Irving was looking for 143.

(i42nd fastest gun in the west)

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 18 Mar 00 - 12:50 PM

New WORST lines thread click

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 01:14 AM

refresh for grins.

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,=)
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 05:04 AM

just a few from me~

"hey you and me baby ain't nothing but animals so lets do it like they do it on the discovery channel

"there's a train leaving at five, be under it"

"when I'm in the mood dude, well I get some nuggets and stuff"

"you had harpoon scares and your boobies were hairy" -bloodhound gang

most of "Roll Your Leg Over"

just to name a few

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: John Hardly
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 07:35 AM

""And in this ever-changing world in which we live in!" McCartney, "Liva nd L:et Die" Yours, Peter T. "

I think this belongs in the "Mis-heard Lyrics" thread. It isn't redundant "ins" if the phrase is "In this ever-changing world in which we're living..."

...well, Okay, there's one fewer redundant "ins".

John Hardly's timely repair dept.

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,Frugz
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 08:19 AM

There surely can't be many more worse than this

BLOOD ON THE SADDLE

There was blood on the saddle, blood all around And a great big puddle of blood on the ground

The cowboy lay in it, all covered with gore He'll never ride tall in the saddle no more

Oh pity the cowboy, all bloody and dead A bronco fell on him and mashed in his head

Frank

Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 02:16 PM

And this lovely line in "Lovely Agnes" by Sally Rogers:

"We'll cross over Lake Michigan 'til we come to the shore."

Well, of course! What else are you going to do? Stop in the middle?

And I have to bite my tongue whenever that song is sung, because so many people consider it the loveliest song ever. Lovely!