Worst Song by a Respectable Artist

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 02 Aug 10 - 06:34 PM

Woody Guthrie wrote a few good ones and a lot of junk, one of the worst being "Billy the Kid." He never could get his facts straight.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: olddude
Date: 02 Aug 10 - 08:16 AM

I think I would have to agree with DWDITTY ... now I like Neil Diamond a lot but "I am I said" the singin to the chair bit does drive me nuts

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: GUEST,josep
Date: 01 Aug 10 - 11:30 AM

"Abraham, Martin & John" by Dion was so maudlin and over-produced I considered becoming a conservative to safely distance myself from it. Why aren't there any songs about Frederick Douglass? Now there's a guy who deserves a little praise once in a while.

"Every Picture Tells a Story" by Rod Stewart is a racist piece of crap:

On the Peking ferry I was feeling merry
sailing on my way back here
I fell in love with a slit eyed lady
by the light of an eastern moon
Shangai Lil never used the pill
She claimed that it just ain't natural
She took me up on deck and bit my neck
Oh people I was glad I found her
Oh yeah I was glad I found her
I firmly believe that I didn't need anyone but me
I sincerely thought I was so complete
Look how wrong you can be
The women I've known I wouldn't let tie my shoe
They wouldn't give you the time of day
But the slit eyed lady knocked me off my feet
God I was glad I found her

Forget how cold-blooded creepy it is to claim you're in love with someone you call "slit eye" because she's Chinese but it reeks of the old me-so-horny-me-love-you-long-time white man's fantasy crap that I could puke. I can't believe Stewart read through the lyrics and decided it would be ok instead of saying, "I'm not singing this shit!" Because that sure would have been my reaction.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: oldhippie
Date: 01 Aug 10 - 09:10 AM

Harry Chapin, normally a genius writer, went awful with "Cats In The Cradle" Pure crap, of course it gets the airplay. (Listen to his great songs - A Better Place To Be, Mr Tanner, Taxi/Sequel, I Wanna Sing A Love Song).

Another worst award to: Billy Joel for Movin' Out

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: TheSnail
Date: 01 Aug 10 - 05:40 AM

My first reaction on seeing this thread was to search on 'Ob La Di Ob La Da' but got the spacing different so missed it. Thank you absent friend.

Since lots of people are having a pop at Ewan MacColl, I can never forgive him for "Kissed her once again at Wapping / After that there was no stopping".

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Genie
Date: 01 Aug 10 - 04:55 AM

I happen to like McCartney's Mull Of Kintyre (which someone mentioned as a "worst").

As for Willie Nelson, he is a superb guitarist and interpreter of songs. I happen to enjoy his voice too. I agree that most of his own compositions ("Crazy" being a notable exception) are not award-worthy, but the thread is about "respectable artists," not necessarily great singers or songwriters. There's very little I've heard Willie play and sing that I don't like. (As for his standards album, I understand that in a recent interview, Willie said he considers himself to be mainly a jazz artist - even though most people probably think of him as country.)

As for Paul Anka, I think he's a respectable writer of pop music, but "Having My Baby" has to be not only his personal worst but right up there among the worst songs ever written by anyone!

To me, probably the most striking example of an outstanding vocal artist delivering an atrocious - to the point of laughable - version of a song would be Patsy Cline's lounge-singer-style rendition of "Life's Mountain Railroad." It is so bad it's not to hear it as a spoof.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: GUEST,I'm not here, right?
Date: 01 Aug 10 - 04:18 AM

The Beatles are my favourite band of all time but I utterly loathe 'Ob La Di Ob La Da' and 'A taste of honey'.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: GUEST,pilgarlic
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 01:57 PM

Gordon Lightfoot's 'Same Ol' Loverman'. A moment of madness from one of greats. Any number of Faiport's (or anyone's fo that matter)recordings of songs by the appaling Huw "two tunes" Williams

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: GUEST,DB
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 08:09 AM

Don't know about 'worst song' or 'respectable artist' but the SILLIEST song I ever heard was 'The Man who Called Himself Jesus' by (I think) Dave Cousins of the Strawbs. What used to get me is that everyone around me seem to treat this ludicrous travesty with great seriousness; they didn't even smirk at the silliest line of all which went something like, 'he thought his pint of beer had turned into a pint of blood' - yuckkkk!!!

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: David C. Carter
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 01:49 PM

Cheers Purple Foxx

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Purple Foxx
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 01:45 PM

That's ok David.
I just happen to have a copy of The Guiness book of British hit singles to hand.
I do not claim any great expertise in my own right.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: David C. Carter
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 01:27 PM

Sorry about getting that wrong.T'was a long time ago!

David

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: GUEST,Sandy Andina
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 08:27 PM

Oh, so many stinkers, so little time (and thank goodness *I* don't qualify as a "respectable artist!"). Let's see:
Judy Collins' version of the Stones' "Salt of the Earth," topped only by
Joan Baez' version of the same song (Baez, whom I normally love, is a possible candidate for the Worst Cover Versions Hall of Fame, especially for her stilted readings of rock songs and politically correct butchery of lyrics).
Special Blackmail Material Edition: the live duet of Bruce Springsteen and Van Morrison drunkenly blundering their way through "Brown-Eyed Girl." I often listen to it to remind myself that even the greats can have a reaaaaallly bad night.
Judy Collins again, for "Both Sides Now;" although it's not entirely her vocals' fault--it's that dripping-with-treacle string-and-keyboard intro and arrangement.
The Four Seasons' (aka "The Wonder Who") 1965 cover of "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right" (though an argument can be made that it's so deliberately bad as to be hilariously campy).
"Endless Wire," by Gordon Lightfoot. Sings the entire song, especially the bridge, through his nose to the extent that the lyrics are utterly unintelligible.
"Touch Me, Babe" by the Doors. Inane lyrics, stupidly poppy horn section. Only good part was the "stronger than dirt" at the end.
"Coconut," by Harry Nilsson......no, wait a minute, that's so stupid that it's a guilty pleasure. I think it must have inspired "The Song That Doesn't End."
"Who Will Save Your Soul?" by Jewel. Okay, so she may not be "respectable," but those idiotic vocal mannerisms make me cringe. Come to think of it, just about ANYTHING by Jewel.....
And speaking of annoying vocal mannerisms, I'm gonna get flamed for this, but anything Ani DiFranco released after 2000.......
And the Grand Prize goes to (drum roll....................................................);
Chuck Berry, for "My Ding-a-Ling!"

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Purple Foxx
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 04:06 PM

It was the New Vaudeville Band who had a hit,in 1966, with "Winchester Cathedral".
The Temperance Seven's biggest hit was "You're driving me crazy" in 1961.
Both groups had similar presentation.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: alanabit
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 03:45 PM

I had always thought that it was the New Vaudeville Band, who did Winchester Cathedral. I guess I stand corrected!

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Kaleea
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 01:06 PM

I love the Mills Brothers! The Count Basie & the Mills Bros "Board of Directors" album was wonderful, & I could even get a chuckle out of Tiny Bubbles, but . . . (heavy sigh & deep breath)but when the track I Dig Rock & Roll Music just did not do it for me.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: David C. Carter
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 12:47 PM

Cohen's album"Death Of A Lady's Man",Cohen meets Phil Spector.Can't think which song is worse than the next!And as for the"Production"!
Dylan's"Heart's In The Highlands" was surely half written when he put it down,seems like he just kept going!There's 5 great songs on that album,the others are are a bit "Touch and Gaughin".
The Temperance Seven did "Winchester Cathedral".A pretty eccentric bunch of gentlemen,wearing deerstalkers and Sherlock Holmes outfits,mutton chop sideburns and capes etc.Make of that what you will!
David

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Purple Foxx
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 02:52 AM

I can usually just about tolerate Bryan Ferry.
I think "She's Leaving Home" is an excellent song.
Nevertheless Bryan Ferry's version of "She's Leaving Home" used to actively annoy me.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: GUEST,robomatic
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 03:59 PM

I know I've said this elsewhere in the mud, but . . .

Gordon Lightfoot: "Alberta Bound"(as in tied up in the back of a car, as I had to be to endure:)
"oh, the skyline of toronTO
is something you'll get onTO
.
.
.
and if you've got the MON-EE
you can get yourself a HUN-EE
a written guarantee to make you smile"

i don't smile

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Willie-O
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 12:04 PM

The well-respected, well-liked, and all-round Maritime (Canadian) good writer-producer-singer-sideman Gordie Sampson has been writing in Nashville and now is rolling in cash (I presume) from having penned the #1 country single in the US--"Jesus Take The Wheel". It features the absolute worst driving advice ever heard (and I listen to Car Talk whenever I can)....in brief: "if you're heading home for Christmas with the baby in the backseat, feeling like a sinner, and you hit a patch of ice and start to spin, just take your hands off the wheel, close your eyes, and ask Jesus to take over.

Don't try this. Really. Don't. First time I heard it I practically ran off the highway myself I was cracking up so bad.

New Country radio scares me.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Leadfingers
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 06:53 AM

I dont know how I missed this thread before !

If my mate Robb Johnson qualifies as a respected artist( Not had much exposure in the US of A ,but BIG in UK) I would nominate his song in praise of that pillock who deserted from the Army (after twelve years of having it cushy) rather than go and get shot at in Iraq - Nothing wrong with the lyric , ot the tune , but the subject matter is the LAST thing to glorify in song !

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: GUEST,Paul H!
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 02:05 AM

When I first heard Karla bonoff sing "Personally," I thought it was okay but little else... until I heard Ronnie McDowell utterly DESTROY it. Now I like Bonoff's original version much better. Thank goodness McDowell's version didn't last long, otherwise I'd still be puking! =PSH

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: GUEST
Date: 11 May 05 - 08:23 AM

That whole album where Bryan Ferry does old standards like as Time Goes By. Dreadful..Ferry can't carry a tune at all.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: GUEST,Stevie D
Date: 10 May 05 - 04:02 PM

it has to be,,,,, Paul Anka "Having My Baby". if you havent heard it, it's so bad its funny, there is even a reference to the fact that she could have had an abortion but decided she loves me too much. you really have to listen to it....

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: alanabit
Date: 14 Dec 04 - 08:26 AM

Excuse me. Ray Jackson played mandoline of course...

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: RobbieWilson
Date: 14 Dec 04 - 04:34 AM

You talk to me in sign language
while I'm eating a sandwich.........

It was there in the bakery
surrounded by fakery

Rhymes to almost match Bobby Goldsboro's she's always looking as if she's always wandering off a cliff, but by Eric Clapton--a respectable artist.

love Robbie

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: alanabit
Date: 14 Dec 04 - 03:04 AM

You need a long memory to recall when Rod Stewart produced anything of worth. He did though. "Do You Think I'm Sexy" - notwithstanding its off putting title - is actually a story told in the third person. It is not (as you might suppose) sexual bragging by our Rod. I am reminded of Springsteen's "Born in the USA". Many folks heard the title and assumed it was a song boasting about the might of America - a very incorrect conclusion!
After a spell of travelling with the British folk musician Wizz Jones, Rod Stewart sang with some of the second line Brit R&B bands of the sixties. He eventually emerged with The Faces. At that time, he and Ron Wood were the only members of the band who had not enjoyed the success previously enjoyed by the other htree in the sixties. However, although the band had some success, Rod Stewart's solo albums took off in a much bigger way. His fisrt big seller, "Every Picture Tells a Story" had some fine British rock and folk musicians on it - including Ray Jackson of Lindisfarne playing violin. It also had some very attractive folk rock music on it - notably "Mandolin Wind", which he wrote. When he put his mind to it, he could write good songs. "You Wear it Well" is a charming tribute to a former lover. "The Killing of Georgie", about a gay man rejected by his family, was a sympathetic treatment of that theme before it became a popular cause. I still think it's a fine ballad. I won't comment about his singing other than to say that I know many people who say the same about Bob Dylan. They don't like his voice, so they say he is a "bad singer". I don't expect everyone to like Rod Stewart's work. He certainly doesn't interest me much at the moment. Let's give him credit for his better moments though. I wouldn't be ashamed of writing "The Killing of Georgie".

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: GUEST,Auggie
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 07:26 PM

But Rod Stewart is not a respectable artist. He can't sing worth a damn, he doesn't play an instrument, and he doesn't write his own music. It's a total mystery to me why he's been around for so long despite having no discernable talent.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 04:34 PM

So true. Rod Stewart is indeed beyond embarassment. This requires either tremendous nerve, collosal stupidity, complete lack of taste, or a combination of the above.

I nominate his songs "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" and "Tonight's the Night".

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: GUEST,James
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 03:54 PM

I am so glad that someone mentioned The Bruce Cockburn Christmas album..I love Bruce, but it was dreadful. June Tabor doing Jazz and Brian Ferry(who really cannot sing) doind standards. But I think the great and very respectable Van Morrison has produced huge amounts of bloody rubbish...and a huge number of Gems.
Rod Stewart has released Vol. 2 of His American Song boot..The Cover Art is awful and the songs live up to it. The man just cannot be embarasses.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 03:19 PM

obviously none of you have encountered a song called Granny Takes a Trip by my hero, favourite guitarist, singer songwriter Ralph McTell.

Hokey cokey!

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: GUEST,skeet
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 02:04 PM

the worst song ever has to be by that complaining shithead jadakiss   ya know that song "why" i cant stand that bullshit

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 11 May 04 - 01:16 PM

I think the godawful bloke who sang 'Done with Bonaparte' to the traditional air 'Valentia Island' might have been Jerry O'Reilly on his newly released 'Down from your Pulpits' - Niamh Parsons did record it - but you'd know she sounded like a woman and not a godawful man.   It just makes the song sound old - and highlights what a great wordsmith Mr. Knopfler is.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: PoppaGator
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 12:31 PM

"Winchester Cathedral"?

A pretty bad song, surely . . . BUT: Who recorded it, and whoever it was, were they otherwise "respectable"?

(NOTE: The above relates to the original question. From here on down, thread creep ensues.)

Mention of this song reminds me that one of my favorite New Orleans artists (and one of the world's most amazing guitar fingerpickers), Snooks Eaglin, used to do an improbably delightful cover version of this silly little tune. For a couple of years ('99 - '01, maybe?), it was one of his most-requested songs. More recently, Snooks and/or his audience seem to have finally tired of it, and I haven't heard him do it for a year or more.

Snooks Eaglin is often classified as a "blues guitarist," but his playing is really nothing like that of, say, BB King or Buddy Guy. Despite playing electric rather than acoustic guitar, and despite customarily performing with a small band rather than as a solo, he's more accurately classified as a blues "songster" (cover artist) in the tradition of John Hurt, Mance Lipscomb, etc. His sensibility is certainly fully informed by the blues, but he's more of a rock/pop/r&b artist, with studio credits dating back to the 1950s, when he played on some of the biggest hits ever to come out of the city.

Anyone with an interest in guitar technique (not to mention soulful American music) ought to give a listen to any of Snooks' many recent recordings. Opportunities to observe his unique five-fingered bare-fingered playing -- he looks like he has an extra set of knuckles, all of which bend in both directions -- are pretty rare outside of New Orleans, although he does go on tour worldwide once or twice a year. (He probably plays more gigs in Europe and Japan than in US cities outside Louisiana). If you ever get a chance to see him live at the Rock 'n' Bowl at Carrollton and Tulane, don't miss it.

It has taken many years for Snooks to get his due recognition; I lived here in town many years before I became aware of him, but he has finally achieved some of the recognition he deserves, if only among the local community and a *very* limited circle of international cognoscenti.

He is now often touted as "the Professor Longhair of the guitar," for his pervasive sense of humor as well as for his technical virtuosity, and I think the comparison is entirely valid. Also, my contention (above) that places Snooks in the tradition of Mississippi John Hurt is not made lightly. Fess and John Hurt are two of my absolute all-time faves, and Snooks might be the *only* living musician I would place in the same classification with those two. Please check him out if you can.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 10:10 AM

Twinkle twinkle little star...steeleye Span..dreadful. Bruce Cockburn's Christmas Album...ditto

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Willie-O
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 09:46 AM

Pardon me, G-l-e-double-n.

He was a great session musician and should have remained one.
He played well and often picked good material, much of it by Jimmy Webb.

I have only just now realized how much his voice has always aggravated me. Possibly this long-repressed emotion is what ruined my life and made me the bitter cynical atheist I am today...think about how much my generation (I'm 47) was exposed to that nauseatingly cheerful, high-pitched instrument during our formative years...merry freakin Christmas everyone.

W-O

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 09:29 AM

Glenn Campbell? His "Rhinestone Cowboy" is pretty annoying.

- LH

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Willie-O
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 09:01 AM

Just a reminder: The thread topic is worst song by a RESPECTABLE artist.

Sorry, Bobby Goldsboro does not qualify. ;)=

You are of course spot on in your appraisal of the work in question...

Wasn't MacArthur Park written by Jimmy Webb? That makes it a very good choice, because unlike LH, I will enthusiastically cast a ballot that it sucks and blows.

But other than that one, I very much like Jimmy Webb. I am not damning by faint praise when I say that he was one of the very best white-bread songwriters of the 60's and 70's. His better pieces were intelligent, soulful and tuneful. For example, "Galveston". That's a great song, if you can just get Glen Campbell's nasal twang out of your head when you think of it.

W-O

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Two_bears
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 07:42 AM

LH

Thank you for reminding me of MacArthur Park.

Two Bears

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: ossonflags
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 04:00 AM

i think "Honey" by Bobbie Goldsboro has got tobe the most vomit making song of all time.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 12:19 AM

Well, "Winchester Cathedral" is a sort of kitsch masterpiece, Two Bears, and is quite charming in its own way. It's a deliberate novelty send-up of a style of music that was popular in....the 20's, I think or maybe the early 30's, but it was released in the 60's. I like it.

Another song that is sort of like that is "MacArthur Park", and I love that one! Used to argue with Spaw about it all the time. (Spaw is or was Mudcat's legendary curmudgeon/weirdo/etc, but he's in semi-retirement now, I think.) (Or else he "got a life".) :-)

It's really a pity that William Shatner has not seen fit to record covers of those 2 songs...

- LH

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Sam L
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 10:21 PM

I really like Richie Havens, and prefer his cover of Here Comes the Sun to Harrison's. But he had one awful song on which he sounds exactly like Huey Lewis.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Two_bears
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 09:30 PM

The worst song I remember hearing lately was an old song by Pat Boone called "Speedy Gonzales"

I forget the group; but I never got the song "Winchester Cathedral"

Two Bears

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Cluin
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 07:56 PM

"Snatch"?

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 07:41 PM

Grab, why did you pick that member name? When I hear it, I think "clutch", "grasp", "sieze", know what I'm sayin'? :-)

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Grab
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 07:16 PM

Ballyholme, maybe it was done by her, but I heard some bloke doing it (selected by MK himself as a favourite tune on Jools Holland last week, for some reason). Although if she did it to the same trad tune as this bloke, I don't hold out much hope of her having produced anything worth listening to either.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Cluin
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 12:46 PM

Ha ha ha, Tom Jones doing "Tennesee Waltz" with the Chieftains! (in Frank Zappa's house, no less)

"Cheese it up, ya sagging Welsh snake 'n' egger!"

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Willie-O
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 11:36 AM

LH, perhaps I should clarify my Dylan remark. I meant, he hasn't come up with a lot of really nice, memorable and unique progressions in all his many years of cranking out guitar accompaniments. He's not a big "classic riff guy". But there are some--a few which come to mind, at the risk of thread creep, are:

• Don't think twice, it's alright
  
• Mama, you've been on my mind
  
• You ain't goin nowhere, which sounds nice the first hundred times you hear it, until the outstanding repetitiveness gets to you.
  

W-O
get my mind off of wintertime...

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: khandu
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 11:33 AM

Johnny & June Cash's version of Cat Steven's "Father & Son" was hideous!

On his impossible to find debut folk/bluegriass album "Front Porch Pickin'", Tom Jones did a pitiful version of "Little Sadie"; but
even that beat everthing he did since "What's New, Pussycat?".

ken

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 10:28 AM

That's another that would never have been heard if Bob had had anything to say about it. Columbia released it without his permission from a bunch of lame studio outtakes they had.

Willie - Dead right about the great chord progression in "Lay Lady Lay". Very memorable. However, Bob has a MUCH larger catalog of chord progressions than you imply...lots and lots of 'em. He's just never been afraid to rely on simple progressions upon which to hang magnificent lyrics...and a simple progression often makes the best song. One thing that amateur (yet ambitious) songwriters often do is try to write great music by using more fancy and unusual chords...the results are seldom stellar. If you want really arcane chord progressions that work well, however, listen to jazz, I suppose...or Joni Mitchell...or maybe Burt Bacharach. :-)

- LH