Songs that are so bad they're brilliant

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: L R Mole
Date: 10 Nov 00 - 08:40 AM

"Fish Heads" was written at least in part by Billy Mumy from "Lost in Space" (also the creepy kid from a couple of old "Twilight Zones"). For the football/creator metaphor, though, you can't beat "Let's give Jesus Christ the football, let him even up the score/Let him run it through the crossbars, half of which He's seen before".Martin Mull, I think.

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: GUEST,Patsy Warren
Date: 20 Jul 10 - 07:03 AM

M m m my Sherona!! don't know what it means but always puts me in such a good mood.

Rock around the Clock it's an old one that keeps cropping up at family and festive functions but never fails to make me want to get up and have a go even though I cannot do Rock and Roll to save my life.

Leader of the Pack by the Shangri La's who were so chavvy before it became fashionable, but I still think of them with fondness.

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: SINSULL
Date: 20 Jul 10 - 08:08 AM

Frank Mills from Hair.
Hysterical teenage angst.
"I love him
But it embarrasses me
To walk down the street with him..."

Gotta love it.

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Gurney
Date: 20 Jul 10 - 08:21 PM

Country songs are well represented here! Another one was sung by Mr J. Cash.
There's a story in our town
'bout the prttiest girl around.
Hair of gold, and eyes of blue,
how those eyes could flash at you!
Boys hung 'round her by the score
but she loved the boy-next-door,
who worked at the candy store.

It doesn't get any better. By the end, you're joining in with "bloody candy store."

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Rusty Dobro
Date: 21 Jul 10 - 12:05 PM

When I've written more than the title, I think my epic 'I've Been Getting Rid Of Everything That Reminds Me Of You (So I Suggest You Give It Ten Minutes Before You Go In There) should qualify.

Subject: Lyr Add: COUNTRY AND WESTERN SUPERSONG (Connolly)
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 21 Jul 10 - 12:47 PM

Billy Connolly's "Country and Western Supersong." It really does have to be sung (or half-spoken) by Billy!

Yes, my granny is a cripple in Nashville, friends.
This story I tell you is true.
One day she went out on her wheelchair
Never knowing it had a loose screw.
Well, a wheel came off of that wheelchair, friends,
And on three wheels it trundled away,
And it trundled right over the edge of a cliff
In an old seaside town far away.

(Country and Western noises)

Now, the boy who was pushing the wheelchair
Was a little blind orphan called Joe,
And he said, "Oh, where is my granny,
And where did that damn wheelchair go?"
Well, he ran off to search for that wheelchair, friends,
But his sightless eyes led him astray,
And he ran right over the edge of the cliff
In that old seaside town far away.

(Country and Western noises)

Well, somebody sent for a doctor,
And an ambulance too, it was called,
And the people who lived in the neighbourhood
Stood around and they cried; how they bawled!
Well, the doctor and the ambulance came rushing, friends.
They were rushing from two different ways,
And they crashed with a BIFF and shot over the cliff
In that old seaside town far away.

(Country and Western noises)

Well, they sent for brave Father Maloney
To pray for the poor souls' repose,
And he said, "Well, now that we're gathered here, good people,
We might as well pray I suppose."
But too many people had gathered,
And the edge of the cliff gave way,
And they dropped with a yell and they all shot straight to hell
In that old seaside town far away.

(Country and Western noises)

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 21 Jul 10 - 05:03 PM

I know a song that'll get on your nerves
get on your nerves
get on your nerves
I know a song that'll get on your nerves
get on your nerves
get on your nerves
I know a song that'll get on your nerves
get on your nerves
get on your nerves
I know a song that'll get on your nerves
get on your nerves
get on your nerves
etc etc.

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Joe_F
Date: 21 Jul 10 - 05:51 PM

I have mentioned this on a couple of other threads, but for sheer bathos, IMO the line "Is this the way it always is in Baltimore?" is sufficient to put an entire song under the rubric of this thread.

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 21 Jul 10 - 06:34 PM

For Harold Shipman (who killed off many of his patients):
Hey ho, Hey Ho, it's off to work I go,
With my stehoscope and my bag of dope,
Hey, ho, Hey ho, hey ho, etc....
(The verses are worse)

Subject: Lyr Add: PATCHES (Dickey Lee)
From: Taconicus
Date: 31 Jul 10 - 11:40 AM

I actually do remember hearing Dropkick Me Jesus on the radio when it first came out. This was before folk music stations regularly played on the East Coast, but I was living in St. Louis where they did. It was a real song, but I'm sure the authors (and the audience) understood the campy, tongue-in-cheek slant was done purposefully. Another in this vein was the wonderful Country hit How Can I Miss You, When You Won't Go Away?

But there have indeed been songs I remember whose lyrics were so bad--they were such howlers--that to me they'll always be classics. Most of them, predictably, were written by immature songwriters at the dawn of the rock 'n roll era. One in particular that comes to mind was Patches, a 1962 "tragic" pop ballad by Dickey Lee. It was a real groaner about a guy who wouldn't date a poor girl because his mom and dad wouldn't let him -- so of course she kills herself. (Riiiight.)
__________________________________

PATCHES
by Dickey Lee (Royden Dickey Lipscomb)

Down by the river that flows by the coal yards
Stands wooden houses with shutters torn down
There lives a girl everybody calls Patches
Patches my darling of Old Shantytown.

We planned to marry when June brought the summer
I couldn't wait to make Patches my bride
Now I don't see how that ever can happen
My folks say No, and my heart breaks inside.

Patches oh what can I do
I swear I'll always love you
But a girl from that place would just bring me disgrace
So my folks won't let me love you.

Each night I cry as I think of that shanty
And pretty Patches there watching the door
She doesn't know that I can't come to see her
Patches must think that I love her no more.

I hear a neighbor tellin my father
He said a girl name of Patches was found
Floating face down in that dirty old river
That flows by the coal yards in Old Shanty Town.

Patches oh what can I do
I swear I'll always love you
It may not be right But I'll join you tonight
Patches I'm coming to you.
__________________________________

He wouldn't date her because Dad wouldn't like it, but of course, he's quite willing to kill himself when she does - typical maudlin teenage boo-hoo sentimentality. HERE it is, if you want to howl along.

In a related vein, my memory holds a treasury of individual fat-headed lyric lines and other groaners. An example is the Beatles' "Fun is the one thing that money can't buy." (Oh, really?)

Then there were other lines that are bad on their face, but in context are very clever and I think they're great, like The Turtles' "Eleanor, gee I think you're swell, And you really do me well, You're my pride and joy, et cetera."

Love it. :-)

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Taconicus
Date: 31 Jul 10 - 11:48 AM

And since someone mentioned Tay Bridge Disaster, one of the best in the genre of wonderfully bad poetry, I can't resist reciting my own "good bad poetry" submission, inspired by the truism (or so they want you to believe...) that there's no English word that rhymes with orange.

______________________________

I ate a tasty orange
And sucked upon a lozenge,
Then took the golden syringe
And dreamed of Stonehenge.

- Taconicus
;-p

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Celtaddict
Date: 31 Jul 10 - 12:29 PM

Taconius, you are right, that is breathtakingly awful.
'Patches' was madly popular when I was a kid at Girl Scout camp; I did not realize it was a (relatively) contemporary 'pop' song (didn't listen to the radio) but it was ultimately banned by the leaders, as was 'Brandy'--not 'Brandy, you're a fine girl' etc. but one that with a chorus 'Brandy, o-oh Brandy, Brandy my own' about 'a little Bahama girl' who 'had a baby just for me' and 'baby died and Brandy cried, cried so hard she was soon to die' and just typing this really causes me to identify with those Girl Scout leaders.
And Steve, I have only heard the Country Western Supersong ending 'in a seaside resort called Bray' sung by an Irish singer.

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 31 Jul 10 - 02:58 PM

Here's the author singing Patches in 1999 .

Over the top, but in a restrained manner, an odd combination you only seem to find in that genre of music. I can see why people liked it, and evidently still do. In fact I found myself quite liking it, and I'd never heard it before, so it wasn't nostalgia.

Can't see anything too improbable in the story. Young lovers have been killing themselves because of parental opposition since long before Romeo and Juliet or West Side Story.

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Larry The Radio Guy
Date: 31 Jul 10 - 04:35 PM

I don't care for songs that get their humour out of looking at the surface of a genre (eg. C&W), then putting it down. Most of the so called C&W parodies I find quite boring, and they indicate a superficial understanding of country and western music.

That being said, one song I think might fit the "so bad it's brilliant" category is Mickey Newbury's "Just Dropped in To See What Condition My Condition Was In". Kenny Rogers & The First Edition's version of it was OK, but Mickey Newbury's is brilliant He even has a Vanilla Fudge dirge like "Mary Had a Little Lamb" line thrown in.

The song is very funny--yet such an incredibly accurate depiction of the "psychedelic experience" depicted in many songs of the late 60's.

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: olddude
Date: 31 Jul 10 - 04:44 PM

Flying purple people eater

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: GUEST,I'm not here, right?
Date: 01 Aug 10 - 03:24 PM

"They took you away I'm glad, I'm glad" by 'Josephine', on a CD I've just bought (The Answer To Everything). It's in reply to "They're coming to take me away ha ha" by Napoleon XIV. It's even more bonkers than the original. but it made me laugh.

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Larry The Radio Guy
Date: 02 Aug 10 - 03:54 AM

Just a couple clarifications:

How Can I Miss You When You Won't Go Away isn't actually a country song. It was recorded by Dan Hicks and the Hot Licks and is more of a "hippie swing". Definitely doesn't have a C&W melody.

And Joe F's reference to That's the way it always is in Baltimore" is probably a reference to "Those Dance Hall Girls" by Fraser and Debolt, off their first lp (which is apparently quite hard to find).

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: GUEST,Patsy.Warren
Date: 02 Aug 10 - 06:00 AM

Gene Pitney's '24 hours from Tulsa' listening to it as a little girl and even now makes me so angry that the song implies that while travelling home he couldn't resist the charms of woman he met on the way home(bull!). The song must have planted seeds of doubt in the minds of women everywhere about what their man was really up to when working away, doing overtime etc. It makes me mad but I do like singing along to it. Dusty Springfield I believe had a version of it too.

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Alaska Mike
Date: 02 Aug 10 - 07:50 AM

My selection.

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Joe_F
Date: 02 Aug 10 - 06:18 PM

Larry Saidman: Yep, that's the one. The line actually appears as a question, as I quoted it. It is a question that invites easy wise-ass answers, such as: "No. There is documentary evidence of Baltimoreans whose love affairs have resulted in long-lasting, happy marriages. And if you are insinuating that the likes of you would have better luck in Philadelphia or New York, you are almost certainly mistaken."

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: GUEST,Patsy Warren
Date: 03 Aug 10 - 06:30 AM

>Frank Mills from Hair.
Hysterical teenage angst.
"I love him
But it embarrasses me
To walk down the street with him<

How many of us can identify with those words? I was just thinking that about my teenage son, lol!

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: ruairiobroin
Date: 03 Aug 10 - 09:06 AM

I'm faitly sure Shay Healy "Old Seaside Town Far Away" that was recorded by Billy Connolly

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: ruairiobroin
Date: 03 Aug 10 - 09:09 AM

Apologies for above, I'm fairly sure I could do with typing lessons and that Shay Healy wrote Old Seaside Town Far Away which was recorded by Billy Connolly

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Dave Roberts
Date: 03 Aug 10 - 06:30 PM

Regarding 'Patches' by Dicky Lee - I used to have a copy of an English release of this. I can't recall the label, but it was one of those white label promotional copies with a big red A on the A side.

This versin omitted the last verse (which I have never heard until now) so that, in effect, Patches does not kill herself but her boyfriend merely goes to see her despite parental disapproval.

This editing was done, presumably, to make the story more acceptable, although it certainly lessens the impact.

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: GUEST,Lash LaRue
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 09:23 PM

Saw and heard the songwriter Paul Craft (if memory serves)
perform "Drop Kick Me, Jesus" at Convocation Hall, U. of Toronto.
Cannot remember what year; late 'Seventies?

He opened for (a stage-frightened?) JJ Cale, who sat and played a very funky, customized
guitar almost entirely out of sight -in the back line with the amps- of the audience.


Lash LaRue

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: GUEST,Lash LaRue
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 10:43 PM

"Nothing" by the Fugs was translated/adapted from the original Yiddish "Bulbes" ("Potatos") by band-member, the recently-departed Tuli Kupferberg, O"H.

muntig bulbes, dinstig bulbes
mitvokh un donershtik, bulbes . . .

(Monday, potatos; Tuesday, potatos.
Wednesday and Thursday, potatos . . .)

Lash LaRue

Subject: RE: Songs that are so bad they're brilliant
From: GUEST,Mary Knickle
Date: 06 Jun 21 - 07:33 AM

Squished Through the Garlic Press of Life is being recorded as we speak.   I recently revived it with a 3 female trio called Foxfire and will be releasing it soon.