Worst pop song ever!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,BobP
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 05:45 PM

I want to nominate Revolution 9, by J Lennon.

With lyrics, as I recall: Number nine, number nine number nine, number nine...

Well, you wouldn't suppose the singer would have to tape prompting notes to the top of the guitar.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 05:50 PM

Finally, something (!) that IS actually bad! Revolution 9 is pretty much pointless. I always skip that track of insanity to revel in the delights of "Good Night."

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Jim the Bart
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 06:01 PM

M.Ted - great Dana Carvey imitation.

As a history loving kinda guy, what strikes me about this thread is that we are describing what you could only call OUR COMMON CULTURE. They're POP songs because they were popular and we hate them so-o-o-o much because we heard them so often (although, for some of these it was hate at first sound). And somewhere there are people who are, as my beloved old dad would say, "crying all the way to the bank" as we insult their claim to fame.

Oh yeah, true confession, I like about 90% of these toons. Go figure.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 06:10 PM

"Delaware", a.k.a. "What did Della Wear?" recorded by Perry Como in 1959.

"She wore a brand new jersey, she wore a brand new jersey …"

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 07:01 PM

"Do-Re-Mi", from that inimitable Rodgers and Hammerstein classic, "A Sound of Music" (Movie version, 1965; It must have been done as a musical play several years before that, but I have been unable to find the date.).

"Doe, a deer, a female deer. Ray, a drop of golden sun."

I grew to hate this song as a kid. I had a teacher who thought it was the greatest thing since sliced bread, and she made us sing it over and over.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: rabbitrunning
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 09:36 PM

I actually enjoy a great many of the songs that have been mentioned on this thread. Including the ones I've mentioned. I don't think that that makes them good songs though. One's sap capacity gets strained as one gets older, for one thing, and over exposure can kill almost anything. What's frightening to me is how many of the songs I can _sing_...

Yikes!

And yes, the Sound of Music was a play before the movie... and I _still_ love "The Lonely Goatherd."

;D

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 10:29 PM

I also hated that Do-Re-Mi song so much that it just can't be expressed, and I also had a teacher who loved it. Aaaaaaaaakkkkk! Gag! Choke!

How about Barbra Strident? Surely we can get nominations for a few more of hers. How about "people...who need people...are the luckiest people in the world"...

The horror! The horror!

Show me a person who doesn't need people...

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Troll
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 11:20 PM

MTed: You had SPAM!!?

I'd have killed for Spam.

And books. We didn't have books or pencils or paper. We had to stand outside tha room and listen to what the professor said and try to remember it all. The only time we were allowed in the classroom was for exams and then we had to sit on the floor.

DougR: you are absolutely correct. Ten miles throught the snow, barefoot. And, it was uphill both ways.

These kids today have....coming nurse! Coming!

troll

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Troll
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 11:44 PM

Mbo: Who's extoling peace, love, and kindness? Huh? Huh? Come on, name me just one. (Praise doesn't count) Buncha namby-pamby milksops that can't even...But I just HAD my medication, nurse!

troll >BG<

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: hesperis
Date: 25 Aug 00 - 12:22 AM

"diana" -
"I'm so young and you're so old, so my darling I've been told..."
Eeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyuuuuk!

"this diamond ring" - not quite as bad as "diana" but on the list of Songs To Avoid.

All those songs with catchy tunes and horrible lyrics, that just keep going around and around in your head...

This should have been mentioned on the Arrrgghhh! Thread.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: LR Mole
Date: 25 Aug 00 - 12:06 PM

No, not the Clarence Carter "Patches", the Dickie Lee one ,on Hickory records (Had the 45). Chords: C-Am-F-G7: Down by the river that rolls by the coalyard/Stand wooden houses with the shutters torn down/There lives a girl everybody calls Patches/Patches, my sweetheart of old Shantytown. (Ride:)Patches, Oh, what can I do?/I'll swear I'll always love you/ But a girl from that place/ Will just bring me disgrace/ So my folks won't let me love you. (Key shift to D if you have it) I hear a neighbor tellin my father/He says a girl name of Patches was found/Floatin face-down in the dirty old river/That flows by the coalyard in old Shantytown (Ride 2:) Patches, oh what can I do?/I swear I'll always be true/ It may not be right, but I'll join you tonight/ Patches, I'm coming to you... (John D. Loundermilk).

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: sledge
Date: 25 Aug 00 - 12:51 PM

For a real stinker thats with us right now have a short, a very short listen to Victoria "posh spice" Beckhams current single, called out of your mind, which IMHO you would have to be to enjoy it.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 00 - 01:06 PM

Haven't heard it. I'll have to stay on the alert for that one. The only place I ever hear commercial radio is in restaurants and stores. My own radio committed suicide after I ignored it for seven years. Unfortunately, it took the rest of the stereo with it...vengeful little monster that it was!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Charlie2
Date: 25 Aug 00 - 01:15 PM

And of course there is the Homer Simpson take on DO RE ME that should not be over looked....

Dough - the stuff that buys me beer Ray - the guy who sells the beer Me - the guy who drinks the beer Fa - A long way to get beer So - I'll have another beer La - I'll have another beer Tea - No thanks I'm drinking beer And that brings us back to.. Doh!!!

You can do with this information what you will.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Pseudolus
Date: 25 Aug 00 - 04:26 PM

If no one has mentioned "My Melody of Love" they should have. I happen to be Polish but I REALLY hate that song!! Although, when it was popular I did convince a friend that the Polish lyrics were dirty! It was pretty funny...still hated the song....

Frank

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 00 - 05:18 PM

ARRRRRGH!!! Bobby Vinton. You've reminded me of him. He did a whole ton of songs with the word "blue" in the title...Blue Velvet, Blue, I'm So Blue, and so on. Ktel had a big collection of that stuff out, and they were flogging it on TV, along with Freddy Fender ("Wasted Days And Wasted Ni-i-ights").

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: guinnesschik
Date: 25 Aug 00 - 08:24 PM

I've had a lot of fun with this thread, and I have to admit I am a connoisseur of bad music. I have an extensive LP collection of punk, bad country, and just strange stuff, so it's been a lot of fun seeing what others are listening to. One fairly recent song is conspicuously missing, and that is that horrible, ear-bloodying, nausea inducing "Butterfly Kisses" song. And, I have to get this off my chest: my husband listens to that darn "Groove Is In The Heart" song by Dee Light at least once a week. So, Aaaaarrrrggghh!

Oh, and before I go, I love David Allen Coe, but "Divers Do It Deeper" is much worse than the "Escape" song.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: bflat
Date: 25 Aug 00 - 08:43 PM

I confess to not having read every posting which preceeded mine so regrets if this already appears. I vote for The Purple People Eater and The Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini. Goofy and Stupid category.

bflat

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: RWilhelm
Date: 25 Aug 00 - 09:00 PM

"Groove Is In The Heart" is one of my guilty pleasures.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: guinnesschik
Date: 25 Aug 00 - 09:16 PM

Earl, I'll send you the CD, and nobody has to know. ;-)

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: tradsteve
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 01:41 AM

That Santana/Rob Thomas collaboration: "Smooth"... come on. "Gimme your heart, make it real, or else forget about it." "It's just like the ocean under the moon, it's the same as the emption that I get from you"

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 02:14 AM

I'm beginning to realize that I'm missing a lot of real stinkers, due to my non-radio habits. Specially the new stuff, like that Posh Spice one. Radio goo goo, radio ga ga, radio da da, radio poo poo...

Gee, I feel deprived. I'm gonna put that Barry Manilow tape on right now, rearrange my sock drawer, and just kick back for awhile.

I wonder what the cat is up to? It's been too quiet for the last half hour around here...

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Lepus Rex
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 03:18 AM

For the last few days, one of my co-workers has been playing a Third Eye Blind cd. This is very bad music. As bad as Poison. Not as bad as Barry Manilow, but close.

So, tomorrow: Dusting off my copy of "Finno-Ugrian and Turkic Melodies in the Volga-Kama Area." That boy has earned some pain. Muaha...

---Lepus Rex

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Bugsy
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 05:23 AM

What about the "Terry" by "Twinkle",

"....He rode into the night, accelerating his motorbike,
I cried to him in fright, Don't do it!.Don't do it! Don't do it!
He said to me "You are the one I want to be with"
He said to me "You are the one to whom my love I will give.
Someday he'll know how much I prayed for him to live.
He waits at the gates of Heaven for me. Teeeeeeery!

A CHUNDER MONGER AND NO MISTAKE!

Cheers

Bugsy

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Troll
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 05:59 AM

Which reminds me of "Black Denim Trousers And Motorcycle Boots" by Vaughn Monroe

troll

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,Merlin
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 08:21 AM

Here is some current crap: anything by NSYNC. My walkman has a tendency to die after hearing their junk on the radio.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: oggie
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 12:01 PM

Terry Jacks 'Seasons in the Sun' compounded by the fact it made number 1 !

All the best

Steve

PS How about Leapy Lee 'Little Arrows'?

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,toad
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 01:57 PM

Shit ! I got half way throough the list only to find someone had all ready mention'd 'torn between two lovers'.

Which is my pick for worst ever.

But you are all correct. Sure are some bad songs written. But I must stick up for 'Lucy in the Sky'cause it's s'pos'd t be sureal.

Toad

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 02:28 PM

Yeah, I like "Lucy In The Sky" too. Nothin' wrong with that song.

Hey, Lepus, funny you should mention Third Eye Blind. Hesperis just lent me a CD of that band last night. Now I'm really curious to listen to it, which I will do shortly. That's the trouble with most (but not all) of the scientific community, by the way...third eye blind!

"Terry" is just absolutely, wretchedly, stupendously BAAAAAAAD! Yowsa! We've got heavy competition for "FEEEEEEEELINGS" now...

Mbo - you gotta listen to "Feelings"...it will change your life. Ha!

"These Boots Are Made For Walking" by Nancy Sinatra...tacky, tacky, tacky...but kind of likeable in a weird way.

"Torn Between Two Lovers" is enough to make a pit bull roll over and die.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: hesperis
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 03:23 PM

RE Third Eye Blind:
I never said it was good, I said I liked it...
(Just wanted to make that clear.)
"God of Wine" is cool. Everything else on the CD is crap. Occasionally catchy crap, but crap.

You know how sometimes you get used to music because your friends like it, and every time you hear the music it reminds you of all the fun you have with them, but you don't actually like the music?
I got used to Rage Against The Machine that way.
(Also Metallica, BushX, the Dance Mix 95 CD, the Tragically Hip, and many others.)

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,Rich(stupidbodhranplayerwhodoesn'tknowbetter
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 04:44 PM

That's What Friends Are For by Roberta Flack?
Oh, Mickey by Toni Basil

Rich

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 05:26 PM

Never was that into Third Eye Blind. Ok, but I think they could mature if they could break out of that syndrome where they feel the only way they can be continue interest in their band is by making all their stuff similar to their one big song. "How's It Gonna Be" is probably the one of theirs that I like the most. Ooh hesperis, is that THE Bush? Of the "Cold Contagious" fame? Love those guys! I also like Metallica...mostly their newer stuff. You wouldn't believe how many folkies I've fooled with "Nothing Else Matters"!

--Matt

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST, Banjo Johnny
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 06:52 PM

Can't believe nobody has mentioned DUKE OF EARL. == Johnny

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 10:03 PM

Hey, man...don't diss DUKE OF EARL. Looie and Ace and de gang is gonna take yer banjo and make ya eat it. DUKE OF EARL RULES, MAN! You c'n, like, quote me.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST, Banjo Johnny
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 11:12 PM

Yo, pally! I got yer Duke of Earl right here!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: The Lighthouse
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 11:32 PM

"Chain Gang" by Sam Cooke and "You're The One" by The Vogues. This song is the ultimate in trite moon-June lyrics. You just KNOW the next line before you hear it. I used to write songs like it - and then I turned 12!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: The Beanster
Date: 26 Aug 00 - 11:54 PM

Oooh have to put my 2 cents in for my Top 3: "Papa Don't Preach" (or just about anything by Madon't-a), Patty Duke's "Please Don't Just Stand There" and "I Honestly Love You" by Olivia Newton John.

There is one song that is so hokey and stupid but I really like it: "Poke Salad Annie" by Tony Joe White. hahahaaa Whenever I play it, I turn it down real low because I'm afraid my neighbors will hear it--I could never show my face again! And one more song which I love but has just THE stupidest lyrics...Ry Cooder's "How Can A Poor Man Stand Such Times and Live."

There. I feel much better now.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: hesperis
Date: 27 Aug 00 - 12:59 AM

Mbo:
"How's it going to be" is ok.

Yep, THE Bush. They have to call themselves BushX in Canada because of copyright law. It seems there was a Toronto area band of that name earlier this century. That's all I know about it.
I borrowed a CD off a friend a few years ago, we are no longer friends, and I unfortunately gave the thing back!
Don't even remember which album it was.

As for Metallica, I don't usually like to listen to stuff that hard, but when I do, they are the best. They define 'metal' so much that other metal bands have a hard time not just sounding like poor imitations. (IMHO.)

I'm not into loud music. I prefer pretty ballads with lovely melodies, a touch of magic or mysticism, stuff like that. (Although I am totally crazy about distortion guitar dripping with reverb and wild harmonics.)

For the list, another song I really don't like:
"I love coffee, I love tea, I love the java-java an' it loves me.
Coffee an' tea an' the java an' me, a cuppa, cuppa, cuppa, cuppa..."
It gets stuck in my head! And I DON'T love coffee, or that horrible orange pekoe stuff that passes for tea.
(Maybe it's not pop. It was pop once!)

Also "just a girl" by No Doubt. It's supposed to be sarcastic or something, but I think it fails to achieve its aim. (And I really don't like Gwen's voice.)

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,Steven Sellors
Date: 27 Aug 00 - 01:29 AM

Okay. I'll throw one on the fire. Can we please rid the world of Eric Clapton's tribute to shallowness: Wonderful Tonight

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Lepus Rex
Date: 27 Aug 00 - 01:58 AM

Oh... Oh, oh... God. Metallica? Define metal? Aaaagh. ;)

Metallica isn't what I'd call 'Metal.' Sort of light hard rock. I can't think of a more commercialized, more soul-less, more untalented bunch of eye-liner-wearing Metal has-beens. They were never that great (or heavy) before their 'makeover,' and they truly blow goats now.

Plus, 97% of their fans are mullet-headed greaseballs. Hehe.

Just to keep this entry KINDA on topic, I'll say that Metallica's worst song is... Either "Unforgiven" or "Enter Sandman." HATE those songs. Don't know the names of their more current "songs", so can't name those. >:)

---Lepus Rex (Bush sux too!)

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: hesperis
Date: 27 Aug 00 - 02:04 AM

So what do you think defines metal? (Don't insult me without giving me a d*mn good reason...)

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Lepus Rex
Date: 27 Aug 00 - 02:48 AM

Hesperis, I wasn't insulting you. I was insulting Metallica. Unless you're IN Metallica, don't take it personally. But DO take it personally you're that dwarfish freak Lars Ulrich... :)

Metallica WAS a (lousy, weak) Metal band, before it re-packaged itself as an "alternative" style band.

Examples of Metal... In my opinion, S.O.D., Fantomas, Morbid Angel, and (especially pre- or post-90s, when they din suck, heh) Iron Maiden could be considered to play types of Metal, but van Halen, (post-90s)Metallica, Guns N' Roses, and Warrant could not.

Like I said, just my opinion:)

---Lepus Rex

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Aug 00 - 03:53 AM

Can't believe we got this far and no one added "Elusive Butterfly". He's running around in the dark with a butterfly net saying "Don't be disturbed, I will not harm you..." Right.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,alanabit
Date: 27 Aug 00 - 07:31 AM

Nobody has yet mentioned the Everly Brothers atrocious "Ebony Eyes", which is about a wedding day and a plane crash. It was written by John D.Loudermilk, (of Tobacco Road" fame), who should have known better. The Swedish entry to the Eurovision Song Contest of 1973 contained the line,"Your breasts are like swallows nests", which must make it a heavyweight contender for any bad songwriting award.I wonder if anyone has any further information about this milestone of incompetence. You Americans quite rightly ignore The Eurovision Song Contest, which is one of the qualities which I admire most about your country!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: catspaw49
Date: 27 Aug 00 - 08:03 AM

I think ol Joe was thinkin' he was on this thread instead of the Fahrenheit 451 thread when he posted this song, so I'll add it here in its rightful place........"Major Tom".......

Spaw

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,shadowfax
Date: 27 Aug 00 - 08:38 AM

dicka dum-dum makes me cringe. I think it was by Des O'Conner. But its all a matter of personal taste (good or bad)

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: rabbitrunning
Date: 27 Aug 00 - 09:01 AM

Hey, I liked "Papa Don't Preach." Of course, I heard it waaaaaaay before I ever heard of Madonna.

If we're gonna start including bad pop songs of the thirties and forties, we're gonna overload the server...

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,TLM
Date: 27 Aug 00 - 09:39 AM

The worst pop song ever is KUNG FOO FIGHTING & Disco Duck

Hands down the most stupid songs ever written, Disco duck was recorded in a duck voice, and with an elvis impersonator

Everybody was Kung Fu fighting, those cats were fast as lightning In fact it was a little bit frightening, but they fought with expert timing

There were funky China men from funky Chinatown They were trapping when up, they were trapping when down It's an ancient Chinese art, and everybody knew their part For my friend, ain't you a stiff, then I'm kickin' from the hip

Everybody was Kung Fu fighting, those kids were fast as lightning In fact it was a little bit frightening, but they fought with expert timing

There was funky Billy Chin and little Sammy Chong He said, here comes the big boss, let's get it on He took the bow and made a stand, started swaying with the hand A sudden motion made me stiff, now we're into a brandnew trip

Everybody was Kung Fu fighting, those kids were fast as lightning In fact it was a little bit frightening, but they did it with expert timing

Disco Duck Went to a party the other night All the ladies were treating me right Moving my feet to the disco beat How in the world could I keep my seat

All of a sudden I began to change I was on the dance floor acting strange Flapping my arms I began to cluck Look at me..I'm the disco duck

[dd] Ah get down mama, I've got to have me a woman, ha ha ha ha ha [bs] Disco, disco duck [dd] Got to have me a woman [bs] Disco, disco duck [dd] Oh get down mama [bs] Try your luck, don't be a cluck, disco [dd] Disco [bs] Disco [dd] Disco [bs] Disco [dd+bs] Disco [bs] Disco disco duck [dd] All right [bs] Disco disco duck [dd] Ah get down mama, oh mama shake your tail feather, ha ha ha ha ha

When the music stopped I returned to my seat But there's no stoppin' a duck and his beat So I got back up to try my luck Why look

[dd] Everybody's doin' the [dd+bs] Disco, disco duck [dd+bs] Disco, disco duck [bs] Try your luck [dd] Wave to me [bs] Don't be a cluck [dd] I'm so happy to be here [bs] Disco [ep] Thank you duck [bs] Disco [ep] For gettin' down [bs] Disco disco disco [ep] Thank you so very much [bs] Disco duck [dd] You're welcome [bs] Disco Disco Duck [bs] Try your luck, don't be a cluck, disco, disco, disco..

[dd=Donald Duck voice] [bs=background singers] [ep=Elvis voice] (borrowed from [e-mail])

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,Merlin
Date: 27 Aug 00 - 11:12 AM

Actually, if you play dicso duck at a high speed on a CD player, it sounds really funny. Kind of like a marathon of ducks with speech problems.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: The Beanster
Date: 27 Aug 00 - 12:59 PM

Hey, catspaw, it's called "Space Oddity" (not "Major Tom")(!) lol One of my all time faves...