BS: The Hazards of Coffee - quote I like

Subject: RE: BS: The Hazards of Coffee - quote I like
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 07 Oct 03 - 09:11 AM

Sad News:

I have heard that genetic work is being done on a decaffinated coffee bean.

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: The Hazards of Coffee - quote I like
From: GUEST,feather
Date: 07 Oct 03 - 09:18 AM

On hearing about decaffeinated coffee, a colleague shrieked in horror "next they'll be taking the coke out of coca-cola".... - oops they already did.

Subject: RE: BS: The Hazards of Coffee - quote I like
From: Mark Ross
Date: 07 Oct 03 - 12:44 PM

Big Bill Haywood used to order his coffee, "black as hell, sweet as love, hot as the fires of revolution." Carl Sandburg would request "a little juice of the java bean."
The reason the coffehouses were hot beds of revolution was that it was a more democratic arrangement, wherein anyone could sit down next to you no matter what their social class. As long as they had the money to purchase a cup.

Subject: RE: BS: The Hazards of Coffee - quote I like
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 07 Oct 03 - 01:03 PM

So called "Instant Coffee" is actually the remnant stock of a failed Syrius Cybernetics Corporation Genuine People Pleasing Personality Drink Approximator. The droid/machine was one of the first (and subsequently last) projects wherein the engineers of Syrius Cybernetics Corporation enlisted the aid of the worlds first (and subsequently last) SuperCybernetic brains (also known as Marvin). The machine was programmed from a download of the operating system of the SuperCybernetics brain. Upon boot-up the machine emitted a high pitched whine which rapidly fell to what one of the engineers described as a "groan of anguish". The droid/machine suffered a short circuit caused by the total contents of it's boiler being flushed through every circuit board within the droid/machine. The engineers were not able to ascertain the cause of this (although one source, Marvin, described it as "suicide") and due to numerous lawsuits for other product malfunctions, gave it up as a lark. The corporation was therefore stuck with a huge stock of "not so simulated, coffee appearing powder product". A certain Hitchhiker from the Betelgeuse region bought it for a song and shipped it via a Vogon Survey Vessel to the planet "Earth" (HHGttG entry - Mostly harmless)where he was sure that the dominant species, descendants of primates, would consume it, gag, and then from reflex stupidity, poor another cup.

Subject: RE: BS: The Hazards of Coffee - quote I like
From: GUEST,Jim Dixon
Date: 07 Oct 03 - 01:55 PM

I'll bet the New Yorker never printed the word "expresso."

Subject: RE: BS: The Hazards of Coffee - quote I like
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 07 Oct 03 - 05:56 PM

Good work Don! BTW, did you know that my first cup of coffee was a shot of espresso at 'Allegro' in 1978? IMHO, still the best anywhere...

And Imanuel Kant's immortal saying..."And thankfully, there is no drinking of coffee in heaven... and consequently, no waiting for it"

... I would get a cup in the evening, and save it till 1:00 in the morning and then take all my psychadelic electrical music gear (Roland guitar synth, volume pedal, 'big muff' distortion box, Ibinez stereo chorus, and my Fender 'deluxe reverb') to the UW parking garage and play full volume... seems every cup I've had since those days comes with the same seven second multidementional reverberation!

ttr

Subject: RE: BS: The Hazards of Coffee - quote I like
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Oct 03 - 05:58 PM

cartoon from The New Yorker:

Two bums sitting on a park bench..one says sadly, "I was on the board of directors, had two houses, drove a Mercedes, vacationed in Paris....then I switched to de-caf."

Little card I have, with drawing of panicked face.."If coffee didn't exist, someone would have to invent it for me VERY quickly"